My husband and I are pretty free thinkers. We are not shy about sex and nudity, but we aren't flashers either. \nWe have a newer home and it's pretty close to neighbors on one side.   We have seen the new next door neighbors outside but havenever said more than hello to them. The woman who lives next door frequently walks around her bedroom window in various stages of undress. I can't tell if she is doing it without realizing it or if she does it on purpose.  My husband thinks that she knows and is turned on by the chance that we are watching. I think if she knew we were watching she would act different and more directly to us. \nIs she inviting us to "get together?" or is she copmplety clueless? Should I tell her we can see her? or just assume she knows? \n My husband knows I have been other womona in the past and we have condsidered some "swinging" ideas lately. Do you think that this is his way of getting me to invite her ?
214171
I think she likes the attention ,does your husband like the view?
335932
I have been married for 21 years.  First you have to be honest and communicate with your spouse.  If you had been, he may not have been spying on you.  Talk to your husband about it.  If he is uncomfortable with you two off somewhere, you should respect his feelings.  Only communicate with your friend if your husband is aware of conversations, meetings, etc.  My husband knows the male friends I may talk to or he can read the emails we send each other.  I also know of his female friends.  If it is innocent, then keep it in the open.  Would you really be o.k. if the shoe was on the other foot and your husband was off with a "girl" friend?  Alone?
253194
What does the husband think? If there is an understanding between the two of them, then I think its fine. Whatever her real agenda is going on a trip alone without her husband, if she does have something hidden behind her sleeves, then its she is taking an advantage of her husband's trust. And if thats the case, I feel pity for her and the husband as well.
187134
I don't think watching porn is wrong... I don't always want to have sex with my man, so it would be pretty shady of me to not let him watch porn and do it himself... Tell her that!  I honestly wouldnt go out and cheat...just let her know that you have NEEDS that need to be MET (by HER) and if she cant/wont do it, something bad is gonna happen!  and if that means watching PORN and doing the job urself, it's better than getting it from somebody else.. take it or leave it.
169616
Hey I worked it out with the BF - if he can go to those places I can go to those places.....and then we set 'boundaries' about what can be 'done' at those places.\n\nStrip clubs included.\n\nNo Lap Dances\n\nNo Touching\n\nSo far he has been wonderfully honest as I have been with him.  He's been great.  I went to a strip club with my GF just to see what it was like (I had never gone) and /shrug .. it was a show!! LOL  But I doubt I'd ever go again.  If he goes, I see it as a male 'bonding thing' and as long as he comes home to me, it's all good.\n\nWomen who TRY to control their men too much end up losing, because the man will just lie next time he wants to go, and I'd rather know and trust where he's at, then wonder what he's doing, and 'if' something got out of control.  \n\nIF it got out of control, I have been VERY Clear, that he must stop, come home and talk with me about 'why he WANTED to get out of control' because that means there are problems with 'us' that we need to work out.  We both agreed to those rules (Didn't wanna type the same for me but true for me to) and that we OWED each other that respect to try and fix it before we 'messed around'.  Just how I tried to address any future issues.  I just say ....... how was the 'Tit*y bar dear?'  And laugh it off.. he is comin home to me :)  And men who don't wanna come home/be with their mates, have very telling signs they don't want to be...  Do I like it?  Not really.. will I ever try prevent it.. nope.  If I can't trust him, we have no relationship anyway.  :)  Good luck with you and your hubby!
496467
Wow!  That's not an easy one, honey.  I don't think I could get past it either, even though nothing happenned, it would still be in the back of my head too!  I guess sometimes you have to draw a line.  For instance, when I go out with the girls for a night out w/out hubby, I enjoy talking with other men.  But, it's harmless, I do enjoy the conversation and flirtation, but I know that is healthy for any woman.  Now, here's the difference... I don't go out looking for it or take their phone numbers home with me and have private conversations.  That's clearly stepping over that line.  I love my husband and could never even picture doing anything intimate with anyone else.  I think you need to seriously consider what his intentions were.  Maybe what he was doing was harmless too, but if he is willing to give out his phone number and chat with her, that is a sign of taking the next step in my opinion.  And, the reason he immediately signs off when you catch him IM'ing her online, is a sure sign of guilt!  He knows in his mind he is doing something wrong, otherwise he wouldn't have to hide it.  Personally, I would never be able to forgive because it would haunt me, but that's me and I am a "ain't gonna take that sh!t type of person."  However, you may want to see a marriage counselor to see what the best choice is for you to move forward and past this.  I wish you all the best.  My heart goes out to you.  Good luck.  LOL.
80445
Hopefully,  she realizes that you are a true friend ,  and she has a dirtbag for a spouse.  Reality check though,  she will probably find a way to blame you for trying to seduce her husband .  It would be a lot easier than admitting that the man she wishes to spend the rest of her cinderell story life with,  is a lying cheating Puss-Bag.  Sorry hone,being you would suck ,  I would hate to be in your shoes,  But if it's any comfort,  I applaud  your courage and honesty.
241588
why on earth would you get that she's been cheating out of that? she was trying to express to you that she is worried about the lack of sex, she's afraid you are unhappy and unsatisfied with the situation and she wanted you to know that it is because she is tired and not because she doesn't want you sexually. didn't you hear what she said? why are you looking for a hidden agenda? i hope you aren't like that all the time or your marriage is going to be hell. when women talk they say what they mean, just listen and you'll have the answers  you need. she was trying to let you know that she cares about how you feel about this and you hear that she's been cheating???? wtf!
241377
I commend you for being able to live with a woman and not be sexually active in any way, this includes fantasizing. I could not have done it.\n\nThere is noting wrong with shacking as long as there is no sex involved.
243464
Primal sex is quite often a fantasy of most guys, if I were you I'd have a chat with your hubbie, theres a good chance he will be happy to help you, as long as your not asking him to hit you or anything like that, just tell him that you want him to come home from work and with out saying anything to you, throw you up against the wall, hike up your skirt and rip your panties off and have at it right there on the kitchen table...I serious doubt he will have any problems with that. Talk to him thats the best advise I can give you...Hope this helps, IM me n let me know
566048
Rubbish, all these people forcing thier morals on you.  If you feel a need to sleep with him, and you want too, do it.  Yes, he may be married, but, he is not going to stop looking just because you turn him down.  If you seduced him, then you are at fault, if harmless flirtation turned into something else, that is nature.  You know that this is just a physical thing and nothing will come out of it, but a little fun, if your ok with that,and can deal with it at work, then have fun.  Guess what people, the wife knows, she just prefers not to admit it, get real.  This woman is not a home wrecker of any kind, and you should not be bashing her.
261558
No. What she has done is very inappropriate and in my mind, VERY selfish. I imagine she wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of such a thing should you have done that; am I right? Bottom line is this - it is not right for her to spend an evening like that with a man who is not her husband. Period! The mere fact that she kept this from you is an indication that what she did wasn't right. Deep down, she knew this would upset you and rightfully so. But if it were so harmless, she wouldn't have kept it from you in the first place. I think to help resolve this situation you should ask her what makes it "okay" for a married woman to do such a thing? I'd also ask her what makes her think that you should be "okay" with it as well?!
648674
I think shes scared of saying something and possibly hurting your feelings. I think she may not like the idea but doesnt want to say anything because she doesnt want you to get the idea that if shes not willing to fulfill your fantasy, then you will find someone else who will. I think you should talk to her and ask her what her feelings are about this fantasy. If shes not interested, I say you need to be able to accept and understand her decision or move on.
119733
Thats cool that you two are talking about it.\n\nFirst, before you get into picking the lucky person you will ask to share your bed you two must be positive you are ok with this.  You also may need to talk about limits.  For instance, my wife does not care what another woman does to me but I am not allowed to let my mouth go near the special area on the girl with us.\n\nThe choice between another man or woman is up to you two.  Is your husband ok with another guy?  If yes, thats great.  The next question he would have to answer is does he want to do anything with the other guy.  If it is another woman same questions go to you.  Only you two can answer these types of questions.\n\nI have been in both types of bedroom play.  With two guys is myself and my best bud and his girlfriend.  A bit of alchol helped get this going but he and I did not touch.  We tried to always keep his girlfriend in between us.  (OK, slightly homophobic but I can admit it and deal with it.) I have also been with some very adventerous women and sometimes they would play with each other and other times act like my buddy and I and attempt to keep an invisible wall between themselves.\n\nWhatever you two decide, enjoy and good luck.
547438
Well I do think its not ordinary. woman should not be naked around other men besides their husbands. And the men were embarrassed because the woman were naked. The only thing on mens mind half the time is sex.That is in their nature. why would you shower with a bunch of other men anyway? Do you wanna get raped? I dont mean to sound rude or anything, im just wondering.
182106
If it's one thing we own by birthright, it's ourselves. I believe a relationship is two wholes, not two halves. And so when we get married a spouse does not have ownership. I should not have to change my way of being to accomodate someone else's expectancy of who I should be or how I should act. After all, I was the way I am when we met right? Usually a spouse wants you to change or downplay the things they initially found attractive in you so no one else will notice those attractive qualities too. \n        I was with a man for 11 years, married for 7 of those years. He used to tell me I was disrespecting him because he had set these imaginary guidelines in his mind for how I should behave in certain instances. I had no idea what he was talking about and had not set out to be "disrespectful". So it was never blatant, but alleged covert, subtle forms of feigned disrespect. I told him I was not going to try to figure out what he was thinking because whatever it was it was his problem not mine. \n         We are not yet divorced, but separated for the second time and I assure you it will not be a third round. I need to be free to live my life and be all of who I am without feeling like walking on eggshells to protect some "imaginary guidelines" set for me without my approval or permission.\n         The part of the question that asks about fidelity; my viewpoint is thus: Some people cannot handle multiple sex partners because they are irresponsible and will not use protection. Marraige is supposed to be a plateau of safest sex. \n         BUT....if like my case, where the man cannot satisfy for whatever reason, I think within respectful boundaries (meaning I come home at night) and (don't flaunt it)...I need someone who can fulfill my sexual urges. I'm not looking, but if I happen to meet someone..... \n        Fidelity is a notion. An ideal state. But it's not altogether realistic. Who can stop two consenting adults, especially if one is unfulfilled with his or her partner at home? Even if it starts out fulfilling, it will taper in time by virtue of law of physics. What goes up must come down. Including levels of sexual fulfillment and excitement because sexual excitement is emotion and emotion is not static. It moves, flows, changes, halts etc. Even some 40 year marraiges have survived all odds, no doubt infidelity, but not because they were perfect, but because the parties involved made a DECISION to maintain a life and relationship they have built over time. Most people don't want to walk away from their investment in those years whether they were happy or not. Change is after all not easy. Life is composed of a series of changes and we must constantly readapt to our lives. Some people have relationships for years without infidelity. Hey, it happens!! But its exceptional because most people NEED change.\n         I'm getting out and don't know if I'll ever walk down that road again, although I do not discourage marraige. It's a nice notion if it works. If it doesn't, hey....there is always...............change.\n\n\nOne Life\nBe Happy\nCami
194309
No judgment, but, during sex is probably not the best time to bring up something so sensitive. Perhaps she might discuss it with him before or afterwards (if she wants to give it another try) - maybe she can guide him as to how he can satisfy her - that's up to her (it really depends on how much she likes him OUTSIDE the bedroom). \n\nIt's a delicate issue, but I'm sure she can find a way to deal with it without completely demolishing his ego (there is a risk of that).