This man dated another lady for 7 years before me.  She dumped him because he promised her he was going to marry her.  She eventually moved away but he kept contacting her till she filed a restraining order on him.  He began dating me and we have been together for 3 years.  But I have found out through his x girlfriend that he wired flowers to her a year ago on Valentines Day and last week he emailed her a birthday greeting.  The restraining order was dropped about a year ago, because of some technicality with how the order was files.  His X wants him to leave her alone.  I am not sure what to do.  He will not contact me for days and then out of the clear blue, he will call or email.  If I confront him about this, he will get angry and make me look like the witch.  What should I do?  He has been out of state for the past few days on business but I think he will contact me today being he is coming back today.  Should I talk to him or ignore him like he has ignored me?  Any advice?
212734
It sounds like he still loves his ex and obviously can't take the hint that she wants nothing to do with her. I would say you need to ignore him awhile then try to talk to him again about the ex, if he gets mad then straight out tell him that he either stops with the cards and flowers to the ex or you will be gone, why stay with someone when their heart is with someone else!
471806
I would be very cautious getting in a relationship with an ex-alcohic who was already in trouble for not following his program. Chances are he is dodging you and I would just let him go and not call there anymore. If he really meant what he said he will get a hold of you. I'm sure he got your messages that you called.
664609
Your ex-bf's problem has nothing to do with age. He wants to "have his cake and eat it too". (I hate that cliche). I agree with phattphatt. This guy is unstable and needs to be kicked to the curb. If he keeps this crap up she will do the same and he will have lost you both. I'm not so sure what the age problem is, she is only a year younger. Your first statement made it sound like he a was dating a child and he was in his thirtys. Give him the boot and find yourself a real man.
313538
How long ago did you stop seeing him?  I suspect the break-up wasn't that long ago because you've indicated that you're not fed up with the abuse yet.  If this behavior continues, you will become fed up.  He is stalking and abusing you. \n\nNot knowing your ex makes it difficult to say, but you should know that certainly personality types are known to carry this behavior to extremes ... criminal extremes.  For example:  slashed tires, rocks through windows, physical confrontations, etc... \n\nI have been the target of a stalker, and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets.  I would nip this in the bud IMMEDIATELY!.  \n\nFirst, send him a certified letter explaining that you do not want to see or hear from him again.  And, that if the abuse continues you will inform the authorities.  Do NOT meet with him.  This will only fuel any misguided belief that you are returning to him.  Keep a copy of the letter.  \n\nSecond, begin keeping a log of dates/times that he calls, or shows up at your home.  Note any threats or abusive language in the messages.\n\nThird, let family and friends know of the abuse. \n\nIf the abuse continues ...\n\nGo to the police and the court to have a restraining order issued.  And, take a self-defense class.  \n\nIf the abuse still continues, let the authorities know that he has violated the restraining order and purchase a hand gun. Take a firearms safety class so that you get comfortable using the firearm.  \n\nHopefully, he'll get 'it' after the certified letter, but if he is of the mind set to intimidate and terrorize you until you return to him, then the above steps may save your life.  \n\nStalking, in and of itself, is psychologically very disturbed behavior.  It indicates that his wants/needs are all that he is willing or capable of considering.  It also indicates that he is unwilling to limit his activities to the accepted norms of society.  In other words, stalking is not something to be taken lightly.  Be careful!
586787
Apparently your girlfriend is getting some satisfaction in the fact that her ex is still after her. She may tell you that she cares for you, but if she did she'd take steps to put a stop to the calls/harassment. Maybe you should tell her you're going to step back a while, until she settles the issue with her ex and then the two of you can move forward in peace. Her action/reaction to that may tell you if the future holds anything for the two of you.
128037
Forget about her!!! I've had the same situation with this guy, until I finally said to myself, Hey! What am I doing here? He doesn't deserve me and I'm not going to wait forever! I shoudn't be running after him he should be running after me! And if he's gonna want me back, it's too late for that! And guess what? He wantd me back. And I didn't. That's what you should do. Have some dignity MAN!
40403
If you really hate him..you should talk to the girl that has been calling and tell her not to date him! but if i were you..i would still talk to him..he is your ex after all and you and him need to move on!
204217
Keep him in check, tell him it's them or you!!!  Regardless how much these girls hurt him, why in the heck would he want to turn around and contact them? It would be a completely different story if he ran into one of them at a store and talked to them for a few minutes and drop it at that, but I think he should not even look back about his past.  He should be looking in the present and future and be gald that he found the woman of his dreams.
445196
i thin kyou should move on. if he hasnt took the time to actually realize you havnt called him in three days and didnt  call you to ask about it then hes not worried about you. i think you should leave him alone. dont worry about him. hes an ass! and then that message he left you on myspace...that sucked a big one!!!!!
235567
Well for one I think you should leave the guy alone.  Let him deal with his past maybe he wants to repair his relationship with his ex.  He is obviously not letting you on the business! He's too old for you anyway! Find a guy that doesn't work with you
537245
If you really love this guy then ignoring his calls is the wrong thing to do.  If he wants space and has asked that you give it to him, you should not call him.  But, if he calls you DO NOT ignore his calls.  The only message that sends to him is that you have given up on him.  He knows you are hurt.  He is likely hurting as well.  If you want this man in your and your daughters lives, then you need to try to work things out.  Listen to him, give him his space, don't do something in retaliation that you can't take back.  The old saying that if you love something you should set it free, if it comes back to you it will be yours forever, if it doesn't it never belonged to you in the first place comes to mind in your situation.  Ask yourself if you would rather have this man in your life (even if it is only as a friend now).  The answer to that question will guide your next actions.  Just, don't do anything in haste or it might be something you will regret for a long time.\n\nBeen there.  Best wishes.
256494
I think you shouldnt even talk to your ex at all just ignore him, and you should tell your bf because he should know but just tell him andim sure it will be okay i mean you  you would want to know if his ex was emailing him right?
174641
Do something about it.  If he's a stalker, the situation can and likely will escalate.  Encouraging her to get a restraining order would be a good start.\n\nShe may not take the situation very seriously, but believe me she should.  If something is not done, things could get worse (and no I'm not suggesting you should threaten him or beat him up, that's just putting yourself at risk of legal trouble).\n\nBest of luck on this one, it won't be fun.
597116
First of all you don't mention your age but one must assume that you are over 18 at least. Is this child from him or from another man? Don't bother with a restraining order because they are only as good a the law enforcement in your town. There have been a number of women killed by boyfriends after they have a restraining order placed. Take No. 2's advise. Get the heck out of Dodge or where ever you live and do it quick. Don't let anyone know where you are that can tell HIM! It is for your safty as well as that of your daughter. The man is a psyciopath and you should make a report to the local police before you leave. It is a crime to threaten someone else with bodily injury. Not to mention that he has said that he will will have your daughter KILLED. At least the law enforcement will be on the look out. Once you have moved away use your mothers maiden name because you can do that legaly. Don't list your phone number either. Just initials and no address. If it were me I'd move to a different state. I would put as much distence between him and me as I could. It may be hard at first but you will be alive and well. If you stay it may take him months to do what he says he is going to do but trust me he will eventually do it and then it will be too late. Men that talk that way usually do so to intimidate, but then they need more power over you and they start to do things physicaly to the people they say they will hurt. Talk to the law or the DA in your town and they may be able to give you more advise. No matter weather you take my advise or theirs PLEASE take your own advise and get out of there. Hope this helps and may God watch over you and your daughter. Be Safe If you need to talk to someone email me at Whilemom47@yahoo.com
360804
I wouldn't worry about it, nor would I call again. You made the effort and hopefully in your message you explained how crazy the move was and told him who you were down to the very last detail. If he's interested he'll give you a call back. He could be very busy or debating on whether or not he should call you. I wouldn't call him back again for the simple fact that he might think you are stalking him so just give it some time, and if he never calls, then move on. Its not worth getting worried or upset about.
324413
First untangle the mess you've got your life into, how you do that is up to you but if you keep going on like this you'll soon get ulsers, Second, make it clear that the rules he applys to you and to his ex are the same all the way around. By that I mean if he can see and talk to his ex without you then you're allowed to as well. Third and most important, If his ex is so caring of his emotions and he values her opinion that much then why are they apart. Let him know that you understand he has to maintain a relationship with his ex for his daughters sake but you are his woman now and his job is to stick up for you when you can't do it for yourself. (Meaning he needs to tell his ex that if she cant say anything nice about you to him then he needs to tell her to keep her opinion's to herself or had better start defending you to her. He's a big boy and should be able to handel his emotions on his own, if not then he dosent need to be dating.)
173157
An ex is an ex just break off contact with her.  Sounds like she's trying to latch on for emotional support from mr reliable still.  She calls don't answer she emails erase.  the end good luck women can be really... persistant lol