I love this guy but i dont think he loves me so i tried to move on and i met this other guy who is now in jail but he calls me everytime i write him. But I still love the other guy and sometimes he does things that leave me to believe he still loves me. No matter how much i try i can't let him go. But this other guy gets out soon. What should I do?
205661
Babydoll, I don't know your jailbird, so I can't make any comment about whether or not he's worth the trouble, but I can tell you two things with absolute certainty:\n1) The ones that get jailed young have an alarming tendancy to get jailed again.\nand 2} Loving an inmate is a VERY HARD ROAD....it's about slogging through endless paperwork, it's trying to keep up with rules that seem to change every week, it's waiting for incredibly expensive collect phone calls that might or might not come and when he doesn't call, praying with all your heart that the phones in the day room are just either too busy or broken and that he's not hurt or on lockdown, it's becoming obsessive about checking your mail and the heartsick feeling that comes over you when the letter you want so badly isn't there,it's about getting writers cramp and spending $20 a week on stamps and stationary, it's about dealing with either keeping it secret or dealing with disapproval of the relationship everywhere you turn and mostly it means living in a future you can't be sure of and that really does take a toll.\nIf I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, but I've loved the guy for over 20 years and I can't quit now...and I'm almost 40, so it's not as if I'm spending my youth dealing with the Dept.of Corrections...think carefully, Sweetie, it is a hard, hard thing to do and no guarantees
663534
girl, if this guy is the one that has your heart...then you need to honest to the one you're living with. How would you feel if he was the one that wanted to go with some other girl? It's gonna hurt...when you tell him, but you need to honest with him & yourself. There's no easy way to break it to him, without it hurting.\nWhy do live with a guy that you're not in love with? That must be difficult. Best wishes.
669619
Answering these questions is difficult because there is always more to it, such as how old are you, how many true loves have you had, things like that.  I was 18 and had the most wonderful boyfriend.  We did love eachother, however, as time went along, I realized that his love for me was a lot more than mine for him.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I knew in my heart that if love isn't pretty much equal, it's not fair to the other partner - so I "let him go".  I think of him alot, and I know he's doing well, so I'm happy for him.  As for what your boyfriend said about losing you and killing himself - that is scary.  However, coming from another relationship with a very controling man, they love to say things like that to keep us in our place.  You cannot be responsible for his actions, keep telling yourself that.  Ultimately we're all responsible for what we do and say - no matter how we try to place the blame on someone else for our actions.  Best of luck!  :)
67975
Love, infatuation, lust...I have no way of telling... and there has to be more to the story than that there is a pregnant girl claiming he's the daddy because THAT alone rarely lands a fella behind bars...but there's a chance he'll be there a while?...Babydoll, I don't know your jailbird, so I can't make any comment about the strength of your feeling for each other or whether or not he'd be worth waiting for, but I can tell you this, with absolute certainty: Loving an inmate is a VERY HARD ROAD....it's about slogging through endless paperwork, it's trying to keep up with rules that seem to change every week, it's waiting for incredibly expensive collect phone calls that might or might not come and when he doesn't call, praying with all your heart that the phones in the day room are just either too busy or broken and that he's not hurt or on lockdown, it's becoming obsessive about checking your mail and the heartsick feeling that comes over you when the letter you want so badly isn't there,it's about getting writers cramp and spending $20 a week on stamps and stationary, it's about dealing with either keeping it secret or dealing with disapproval of the relationship everywhere you turn and mostly it means living in a future you can't be sure of and that really does take a toll.\nIf I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, but I've loved the guy for over 20 years and I can't quit now...and I'm almost 40, so it's not as if I'm spending my youth dealing with the Dept.of Corrections...think carefully, Sweetie, it is a hard, hard thing to do and no guarantees.
359891
dont be so push and selfish, the man does not want to commit yet, \nbut then again you feel that you are going nowhere you love him but then you are not happy with that kind of situation, so i suggest move on to the other guy,test the waters see if you can be happy with him,you and the first guy you seem to be going nowhere find someone who makes you happy,and someone who is complete when he is with you,no need to get stuck with the first guy set him free, and let him set you free
225266
You have to do something, you can press charges by aking help from organizations that deals with this. They will give you free lawyer, counselling, etc. After he's in jail, forget about him and the hurting experiences, move on girl, you deserve more than him and you should be happy.You are still lucky because he showed his true colors and you're not married yet and without kids. Trust me, it's like hell!\nBe happy girl, you'll find someone who will respect and love you all the way! Best regards!
665052
I'm really sorry to say it, but he's got someone else.  Please do yourself a favor and cut him loose completely.  Do NOT let him know how hurt you are - he will just use those feelings against you while he strings you and this other girl along.  It will hurt a lot, but please know that you deserve better and no matter how bad it looks/feels now, someone better WILL come along.  You may not think you will last long without him, but trust me, you will.  Just take it one day at a time.  Don't be afraid to lean on your friends.  Cry it out.  Do whatever you have to do, but do not go back to him.  There are good guys out there.  You will find one.  Just don't waste any more of your time on this guy, because he obviously does not love and respect you any longer.  Good luck and if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here (mytib1@yahoo.com).  Take care of yourself,\nWendy
136524
Why did he disappear? he disappeared when you got into trouble? meaning he doesn't accept his responsibility with you...yes you may love him..but he doesn't even know how to be there for you...in my opinion, go out and have fun, there are other guys more willing to accept their responsibility whn they are with a person. Let go, he's totally not worth it...
130950
Please what were you doing with him in the first place if you love someone else. that doesn't seem very mature or fair to the other guy. stop playing games with peoples hearts and grow up.stress??? caused by guilt or maybe wanting something that belongs to another!
161698
You have to follow your heart.  Maybe slow down rather than break up.  You might not feel the same if you were to see another woman hanging on him.  He could be smothering you which is scaring you away.  But if you truly know that you won't ever love him, then let him go.  He deserves to be loved just like you do.
362198
I love him...but? I don't think you do love him in a way that will sustain your relationship. I think you know that too. It's time to move on.
370337
I am actually having this same problem myself. I love him and I want to be with him, but at the same time I wonder sometimes if he really feels the same way. We basically have 1 of 2 choices..... we can stay and try and talk to them and see if it can work out . or we can just let it go and find someone else. \n\nI choose to stay for a little while longer and try to work on the relationship as long as he is willing to work WITH me to make this work.\nI'm sure you will figure out what is right for you. I wish you luck.
399888
You need to get over this fast and leave this man alone.  You've just confessed to sending him to jail.  I don't think he'll want a second date.
222989
I say listen to your heart. Be true to yourself. If that other guy really loves u then i wouldn't take my chances messing that up for this one that just wanna come around all the sudden.
31999
It's really your decision but girl the one in jail leave him alone that's just drama waiting to happen.The other on e your dating does he make you happy can you tell him stuff.  I say gurl follow your heart don't be scared it will always lead you in the right direction.
265355
love him love him love him!!!!! stay with that man!!! don't leave him for no reason!!!!
507476
Huh....you sure you're in love?  It's going to be tough being alone while he serves time...and he seems aware of that fact.  That's a big sacrifice--waiting for him I mean.  If you chose that route--best of luck to you.  But even if you don't decide to wait it out--you could still be supportive by communicating with him while he's incarcerated.  Life with a convicted felon is not going to be easy after he serves time either--and your options will be limited because of it.  Just be aware of the sacrifices required to remain with this person.  It sounds like you'll have lots of time to make up your mind.  Find a support group that can assist you.  Good Luck