how come break ups seem to effect women so much more then men\nanswers please
216140
Women tend to get more emotionally involved faster than men. It takes a while for men to realize what they have and actually put emotions/feelings into it.
120363
Laugh at them. I mean, she couldn't handle being single and fell into a rebound relationship that is doomed for failure. It's painful, I know, but don't worry. You're over her, what she does shouldn't bother you. Let her find another guy, let her screw up that relationship, and push her from your mind. You'll find someone else soon enough.
508174
Guys have changed.  They no longer act like men in the relationships anymore and want women to bend over backwards and do everything, all the courting, etc.; meanwhile, women have wised up and are being fed a lot of self-help books and TV shows like Oprah telling us not to put up with ANYTHING from the guy, to second-guess him, check him out, go behind his back and verify what he says, assume he's a cheater, etc.\n\nIn short it looks like the guys are acting like "women" and the women are acting like "the guys".  There is an enormous level of mutual paranoia shared between the two.  We blow up minor things to the size of the universe, judge each other and dump each other too fast maybe.  Maybe.  Men seem to be out to get the most they can sexually from women then dump them (women don't have a phrase like "hit it and quit it" or "fall on the grenade" - men do).  Women on the other hand distrust men and are beginning to hate and fear them.  \n\nAll the rules have changed, but feminism is not the only thing to blame.  It's also that a lot of guys now grew up with no dads and approach relationships kind of like sneaky women, because all they saw was their mother, and other sneaky guys.  Pair the two together and you get sneaky effeminate behavior.  (Disclaimer - that's my humble, solo opinion.)  A lot of girls today also grew up with abusive dads who did sexual stuff to them, too.  That makes women doubly frightened of men and ready to pounce on them for any mistake.\n\nThe real problem is our media and internet atmosphere which is full of eagerly offered reasons for men to hate women and women to hate men.  Sells more self-help books, you know... gets more hits on that date help website.\n\nThat's my humble opinion.\n\nThe real reason though is that men changed the rules and blamed women for changing them.  Men could have ignored feminism and just stayed strong, good men.  Women would have corrected themselves.  Instead, men started competing with women and have become WAY too obsessed with thinking every woman ought to look like page 92 in Vogue magazine.\n\nThat's the real culprit right there.  Women feel compared, thought "ugly", and judged on things that cannot be changed without an expensive bout of surgery.  Even if we do change, we are still sexually disposable.  Get her booty and move on to the next booty.  Men meanwhile continue to look the same as they did before, and give even less than their fathers did.\n\nThis has become a pirate's world.  Everyone for themselves.  Booty, booty, theft and booty.  That's my rant and answer.
546516
It sucks , is also very hurtful but for some reason guys are expected to hide their feelings and just move on . But some of us hurt equally as bad as women do for certain.
666157
Girls tend to me more emotional and clingy than men.  Just out of observation, women and men tend to get almost closer once apart, as they tend to feel a bit more comfortable sharing more personal things than they did when they were once together.  That is of course if they ended on positive notes.  Couples tend to have a hard time conveying honest feelings to each other, but someone they know pretty well (such as past boyfriends) make an easier outlet for someone to talk too.
158006
well there is your answer, sometimes guys are afraid of getting hurt, so they distance themselves from women to find out if she's a heartbreaker.
82129
You need to talk. Women are more emotional, we wanted to be a big part of your life. Not only in your everyday life but most specially during the decision making time. You might think that she's just your girlfriend and just a flower on the wall, or someone to show to your friends. Women wanted to feel special, like we are a big part of your life. Someone you can talk to and discuss with when you have to make a decision.
170946
I feel that these woman are co-dependent.  They have always depended on men and other people and once you get into that habit it can be hard to break.  Thats why woman need to be independent and not depend on men so much.  Don't get me wrong, MEN ARE GREAT!!, but you need to be your own person to.
199561
Some men just think if they express themselves they seem week. We think a woman admires us for our strength and back in the old days it was true that if a man showed fear or sadness or even that he was in love, then he wasn't a "man". It's in our nature to hide any softness. Only women were soft. But some of us have realized, though, that women are more independent now and don't need so much "protection". It's just in our nature to to be strong and silent, though in some cases it's for homophobic reasons. Some men just need to be assured that expressing feelings is not a weakness but that it shows they are comfortable themselves and their mate. Let him know that if he expresses himself to you privately that he doesn't have to be so open when company is around. Trust me, it's not just you he may be protecting himself from. If he's been hurt in the past it could take a long time to open up. Just don't over do it by forcing him. Some men just feel more comfortable keeping it inside, but you have your needs too so don't give up. Hope I could help.
167510
There are many good women still left and I am sure they are asking the same question you are about men :o)  I think in life people that have been through relationships are either more shy about giving too much or just scared of getting hurt.  I was just talking to a friend about this subject today and some people are not comfortable being alone and not really ready to be with someone, which can be perceived as being closed....who knows but I do believe everyone has a someone!!  Good Luck and I hope you find what you are looking for soon....
526178
Plain and simple, guys don't open up really at all, it takes a lot to force it out of us.  Usually something huge that pushes them over the edge will make them break and open it all up.  But to go and expect that out of a guy after 3 or 4 weeks is asking a whole helluva lot.  But you're a woman, and you need that communication link in a relationship, which is why relationships are so hard.  But then you have to add the broken heart into the mix and it really could go either way.  Him talking about wanting to do things with you in the future could be a lot of things.  Everyone has a perception of what they are saying, and the person who's listening takes it in a different way.  Happens all the time.  I wouldn't take it to heart, sounds like he's running, especially if he made that call without really knowing you at all.  Sorry you're all broken up about it, but best of luck
160033
THANK YOU! Some women cannot be pleased no matter what you do for them and we as men get tired of trying and move on to someone else. Most people are not happy unless they are miserable.
161387
You're right. Women are stronger and they can keep secrets better. A woman's heart is an ocean of secrets.  I know this from personal experience.
353827
My husband of 5 years.Left several months ago.I was with him since i was 15, So, to say i was devastated is an understatement!\n\nFirst of all, Friends like you are priceless during such a difficult time such as this.She may not see that right now because she is consumed by grief.But, she will eventually!!\nMy best advice for you to help her is,Dont let her spend soo much free time alone.Make sure she is getting out everyday and continuing the routine of her daily life!! As for "going out" make sure you try to have a girls night as often as possible, the more she gets out there, the more she will realize that there is life after a break-up.\nMake sure, that you are a good sounding board to her.Regardless if she repeats herself over and over.I know it can be annyoing, but let her get it out!! Not only would it be theraputic she may even be able to work out the problem and let go. good luck
203420
not anyone at work that you know is single or divorced?\nperhaps at church?(if you are a church going person)\nor perhaps ask your fellow female friends if they know someone who is available(remember to ask if the gent is stable(mentally)lol....need to be carefull out there!....\n              good luck!
261669
Tricky one.  \nI once went out with a guy who used to do lots of things which annoyed me, eventually I dumped him as it got too much.  In the early days, I was in his room and we were having a glass of wine and he got quite drunk and started being rather arrogant and stupid.  I had a choice at the time.  I could have played along and feel stupid, I could have left the room without saying anything or I could breakdown.  I chose to breakdown because I thought I didn't really want to be part of his arrogance and I thought it would have been just rude to leave.  Once I started crying, he stopped what he was doing and apologised and promised he wouldn't do it again.\nNow, I'm not saying this is the best approach and I wouldn't be surprised if you thought that I'm a drama queen or an attention seeker from that anecdote.  However, it is one way of making guys realise whatever it is they are doing is upsetting.  \nHowever, as my arrogant ex boyfriend only really did this once, it did not affect me day to day (though eventually the other annoying things about him got to me).  On this basis, I think you perhaps want to consider if this thing or these things your boyfriend does that irritates you will ultimately affect your sanity, you might want to consider looking elsewhere or dumping him.  I know you probably don't want to hear it but I learnt it the hard way, and my god, my ex was hard to get rid of AND I dumped him the hardest way, face to face!!!  Alternatively, you might just want to talk it over with him.  If he doesn't reason with you, definitely dump him, he's not worth it, sorry!  I hope this helps.  Good luck.
641097
women are more relationship oriented. We are wired to talk and have deep conversations. That is how we bond and feel close to a person. Men, however, bond by DOING. So often it is "out of sight, out of mind" for them. They will feel close and intimate when they see you and can interact with you. They may think about you when you are not there, but it's not the same sit by the phone and wait mentality. What can you do? Try to explain how you feel. Tell him what I told you. it took my husband awhile to catch on, but now he makes more of an effort to try. You can try by not flipping out every time he doesn't call you, and try to understand that it doesn't mean he doesn't love you.  \n\nI understand I am generalizing, and apologize for that. Not every woman is that way, and not every man is that way, but that is how it tends to be for the majority of the population.