She never was very much into sex, take or leave it. and when we do have sex i initiate it and then do everything. she barely touches me when we do it and harfly ever kiss. so if i cheat on her is it really cheating since someone else is doing what she wont. i just need more than she is giving. by the way im in tennessee any takers?
210370
It seems that you do not love your girlfriend and should break up with her.\n\nFirst for someone to be intimate with you, you have to make it comfortable for them.  If she is doing nothing, it means that you have not done your job properly.\n\nObviously you are not for her, since you are planning to leave her because she is not having enough sex with you.  Do her a favor and leave.  She is not comfortable with you and you don't love her.
385873
Cheating is not the sexual act.... It is the lies, deception, the lack of disrespect that your partner has for you by going behind your back.\n\nA kiss, no matter how passionate or dispassionate it is is cheating if your partner hides it from you, same with cyber sex, if your partner is going behind your back with it, you can't see who your partner is talking to, then it is cheating.\n\nVery little, if anything, is cheating if both of you are honest about what each of you desires, talk about what is happening (not the sexual specifics but what is going on with the people,( etc. ) you are inovolved with or flirting with., and agree to... \n\nSo, your answer is a moving target governed by trust and honesty. The less honesty that exists the more activities would be considered cheating.
240107
Look-\n\nThere have already been suggestiond about her infidelity and lack of a healthy relationship and that you should dump her. No. If you love this girl, you cannot do that yet. On reading the detail of this question, I got the impression that there is something to hide, but its something personal and its affecting her self-confidence in being able to get intimate with you. saying "F*ck it" was probably not advisable if you are to gain her confidence on you; that is what you need to do. Yes, perhaps you do nto have a healthy relationship, simply because there is a lack of communication towards each other. I mean her asking you whether she stunk should be clear enough. She's neverous about sex because she's worried about something to do with maybe her hygiene, health problems or just general confidence. Women go through much of the latter. Be supportive, and let her know that you're there for her, and slowly, with help through communication, get to the root of all of this. \n\nI really doubt she's cheating. And don't give up on her. \n\nGood luck.
241588
why on earth would you get that she's been cheating out of that? she was trying to express to you that she is worried about the lack of sex, she's afraid you are unhappy and unsatisfied with the situation and she wanted you to know that it is because she is tired and not because she doesn't want you sexually. didn't you hear what she said? why are you looking for a hidden agenda? i hope you aren't like that all the time or your marriage is going to be hell. when women talk they say what they mean, just listen and you'll have the answers  you need. she was trying to let you know that she cares about how you feel about this and you hear that she's been cheating???? wtf!
26720
I honor honesty above all. It's your decision want to be involved with her modern life or not. Whatever decision you take, be responsible. I am not that modern and don't believe in pure sex without love, but I don't judge. I respect people with different life style and realize their lives could be much more interesting than mine. You sounded eager to give a modern life a try. If you are prepared, why not? Wish you all the best!
610235
She's a woman. Women need sex. She's away from you. Do the math, she's cheating. Just deal with it. They all cheat. It's just part of life.
209163
You have to keep in mind that "cheating" is defined by the people involved. A better question would be "does she consider it cheating?" or "Based on what I have told her regarding the status of our relationship (whether or not we are exclusive, or exclusive to the sex of the person - no more than 1 gf or 1 bf, or whatever you all have discussed) would she consider it cheating?" She may or may not. She is who you should be asking, only she can decide. By definition monogamy is one person, not one person - per sex. So if she feels you are in a monogamous relationship, you may need to redefine what your relationship is. Your relationship, both of you could decide, is really where you all do whatever you want with guys however are faithful to each other. It is, what you both can agree that it is. Honesty is always the best policy.
112151
First of all if you love her then why does sex dominate your relationships. Show some discipline. If sex is the most important asspect then leave her otherwise if you LOVE her make it work. A GOOD MAN WOULD FOLLOW HIS HEART AND MIND. NOT THE PENIS!!!!!
551543
sorry to hear that both of you started the relationship on deceptive terms.  she's being a hipocrit.  and I know you say you love her, but why would you want to be with someone that has cheated and lies.  trust is the foundation of any relationship, without that you have nothing.  you will be in the relationship always having questions about this that or the other.  to much stress and not being happy.  keep looking for something better.  good luck
280148
i dont think it's cheating too\naccording to your story, you didnt do it on purpose, even if you were a bit over the line, but still i believe it was the alcohol effect =)\nif your boyfriend is understanding and open-minded about this issue, tell him asap before he hears it from someone else and tell him that you're sorry\ngood luck =)
625519
First and foremost, have you both been tested for sexually transmitted diseases?  Especially concerning her previous behavior.  That is not exactly monogamous sex.  How does she know you want her to act more adventurous if you do not tell her.  Was lack of communication part of the reason for your separation?  I suggest marriage counseling as well.
328479
it sounds like she takes you for granted. And even though you wont listen to this.. you had nothing to do with her cheating on you. She feels she is missing something. We cant control what someone else does, and contrary to everyones opinion.. it is not a reflection upon us when someone decides to do something for themselves. I am so sorry to hear she did this to you. You do need to sit her down and talk with her. Maybe you guys can work through this, maybe not. But you wont know until you communicate. Good luck :)
587951
First sir I am no bible thumper, but threesomes with your partner/girlfriend/wife is adultery and wrong. Next, from what you said in here you already know your answer. No she is not ready. listen to yourself and your heart. They typically will not lead you astray if you truly listen to them. I would suggest you continue to tell her no. If you are not monogamously commited to here, I suggest you look to see why you are not, and or why she is not to you. Once you committ to each other and stop thinking and or playing around your relationship can grow and be more fulfilling. If you can't do this, than you have no business being in a relationship with her, for you haven't found complete happiness.
146447
Yes you are still broken up, but she also wants to get some on the regular.  This can happen when things are physical.  I would let her go, and not sleep with her again.  If you do have sex with her again it's going to get harder and harder to admit it's finished.
185587
Sure it counts as an affair but let me ask you this, are you a Yo-Yo? I mean she sends you away for 5 months and then all of a sudden has some Epiphany or a string and you come rolling back up it and she wants you back and then you are suppose to kick people out of your life and go back with her? Does she have your testicles in a jar and is holding them for ransom or did you get caught cheating on her in the beginning and that's what caused all this I want a divorce crap? Something tells me you are not giving us the whole story here Bud!!
252436
I think some people get to a point in a relationship that they aren't worried about sex, they're close enough without having so much of that type of bonding. That's one possibility.\nAnother could be, sorry if I hurt your feelings, that she isn't attracted to you anymore, or she could be tired of the "same ol' thing". Do you guys spice it up in bed, or is it the same old missionary position. \nMy boyfriend and I had this problem, we brought toys in the bedroom, and its never been as good as it is now.\nJust ask her, I can keep giving o you ideas about what could be wrong, but I don't know what going on in her head, and I'm only getting one side of the story. Just talk to her, if you know or have a feeling that it might be she tired of the same thing, ask her about trying some new things
342637
I really would not think she was cheating...sometimes that just happens, or she could have a mild yeast infection.