I go to court tomorrow for a child support case. I've heard so many bad stories about having to deal with it. My ex and I are on good terms when it comes to about 95% of issues. Can tihs go smoothly for us if he agrees and copperates? Or does it always end up in a "support Battle"?
199946
You are going to be fine if you and your ex are on good terms.  Don't lose any sleep about it.  Dress nicely and bring a book and a snack because there will be a looooong wait.  But don't be afraid to say something if you feel something isn't quite right or fair.
10860
I don't know where you live but I live in Ontario Canada and I had custody of my children. The reason being that I requested the court to appoint the children their own lawyer, it did and because our chidren have rights here they choose to be with me. The childrens female lawyer and my female lawyer fought my ex's femail lawyer and what it all boiled down to was the childrens right to be with the parent they wanted to be with. If a child has the capability of choosing then the courts will or at least should listen to them. I did have a male lawyer but because my ex wife had a female lawyer my lawyer recomended that I have a female lawyer fight for me and for the kids. I won custody and my ex had to pay me support for the raising of the children. More and more fathers are getting custody now cause here there finding out that the mothers do not stay at home with the children as much as they first thought. Aparently the fathers do stay home and do spend more time with their children when they have custody. Don't give up your fight and good luck
555723
I have 3 kids by my ex and he went off to Australia with his new wife. He stopped paying and I am fighting him in court (at great cost to myself) but now he wants to see his kids for 4 weeks this Christmas. I KNOW your feelings totally. But you have to carry the burden because children are better off if they have a relationship with their dads. Just dont compete. When they get older they will realise what went on. But equally dont put up with their lippyness. Dont let it go on. Make your ex look after them sometimes so you have some time to yourself. And get on with your own life. Your boys need a possitive male rolemodel in their life (your dad, or a brother or a new husband) Get on, get your life back into shape and make some time for yourself. You need it and so do your boys.
587059
My ex pulled stuff too. Your ex will probably get away with it. Just concentrate on the custody. People like your ex will find a way of getting out of paying and you don't want someone like him raising your child.
650518
Oh,Honey do I know how u feel!I am going through the same thing as I write.In fact I go to court this Thursday.Let me tell ya,it's very,very hard to deal with.Whether u did something wrong or not doesn't make it any easier.I'd like to tell u about my situation and how I deal with it,but this site does not allow enough space.If you want to talk more about it e-mail me @ kalasmom3@yahoo.com Or IM me @ either yahoo messenger or AIM.I'd love to try to help.Maybe we can help each other.Also,since I have almost 18 months in one child's being gone and 7 years in the other maybe I can offer some advice on how to fight to get them back.oh,my screen name on AIM is turntheclkbac.
573288
my husband never supports me in anything i do.  he always thinks i will fail.  also, if he spends money it's fine, but if i do he needs to know what for.  we have 3 small kids and he still expects me to cater to his every need, so i have 4 kids really.  i'm expecting us to get a divorce within the next year or two.  \n\nyou can vent with me anytime you want... :)
633023
MOST STATES HAVE LEGAL AIDE SERVICES THAT CAN HELP.IF THERES LIKELY TO BE A CUSTODY FIGHT I STRONGLY SUGGEST HAVING AN ATTORNEY. ALSO SECURE THE CHILDS RESIDENCE BEFORE HAND.....SUCH AS MAKE CERTAIN THE DADS RESIDENCE IS LISTED ON ALL PAPERWORK,SUCH AS SCHOOL OR DAYCARE RECORDS ETC...HE NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO PROVE THE CHILD HAS BEEN IN HIS CUSTODY. DIVORCE CAN BE VERY UGLY,ESPECIALLY WHERE KIDS ARE CONCERNED.I WOULD DEFINATELY SEEK ADVICE FROM THE LOCAL FAMILY COURT OR DISTRICT ATTORNEYS OFFICE BEFORE TIPPING MY HAND.
341149
Well it always help if you are married or enganged u know proof of serius commintment...now the other thing is when u go to court make srue taht you also have some kind of daycare figureed out when u both are at work..just in case cuase they might look at it like u both work full time what are you going to do with the child..u never know it might come up..make sure taht you have proof of the monies that u both make and all that stuff..and keep your cool get a good lawyer and chances are you will get custody..not sure about full custody becuase thats  pretty hard to do...but if she's on welfare and her bf is not working and u both are then there might be a good chance that u will get custody of some kind so taht u are not only getting them every two weeks..i know that can be hard not only on u but the kids as well..i know i went threw the same thing..but i just brought up all the good facts to the mom and she gave me and my bf (her dad) custody, and we didn't have to go court....i told her pretty much the same thing that i told you , but the one that u are dealing with seems like a B I T C H., so alli can say is go talk to a lawyer they will give you a sit down and explain the pro's and con's and what to do and what not to do in court..\nGOOD LUCK
192206
Wow, I had one of these guys too...there are so many around it is unfortunate.  In my humble opinion, real people with issues get screwed because of dead beat dad and lying mothers.  There are so many guys that ditch a girl when she gets pregnant that when the court sees a guy who wants to be involved, they don't really care why. It's financial too..they figure if the guys is sending money, the state won't have to.  And so many women lie to get back at the guy, that we have lost our credibility in the courtroom.  I really feel for your situation.  Here is what I did..I spent years and thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to do the right thing through the court, and constantly getting told that I was wrong, etc...it made me crazy.  So, I just threw the door open to the guy..said lets stop fighting, this is ridiculous, neither of us can afford this, etc.  Said, visit whenever you want...and guess what?  Since the ball was in his court, he barely comes around anymore.  I don't know if you wish your children to have a relationship with their father or not...not that I think you wish them to not have a father, but if he is abusive, etc...I don't know what your situation is there, but this worked for me.  Best of luck to you, and hang in there.
618287
The mother would only get child support from the time the case is filed for child support...I know this because I waited eight years to file on my now exboyfriend and could not get back child support, it started from the date I filed, and more than likely it will start from the date she filed...You will need to contact your division of child support enforment or contact juvi-courts in your state and get the process started before the child gets older.   good luck.
232207
I have been in almost the same situation. my bf got his ex gf pregnant while we were on a short break. I went back to him and now the child is almost 3. The ex is CRAZY, wont leave us alone. We have to pay 127 a WEEK in child support, which we cant afford and havent been able to pay the whole 127 a week so my now husband will be going to jail fairly soon. To make matters worse the ex had another son 6 months ago, 10 days before my daughter was born. and is now claiming it is my husbands. SO all I can say IS LEAVE HIM. It will never end. You will be alot more happier without him. ' YOU DONT WANT DRAMA WITH HIS BABIES MAMA'.
238957
lol, maybe i'm wrong, but i agree w/ you. my fiance has 3 support cases, (n pays w/out complaint.) n no, its not a measly lil 200.00 like someone said. its 530.00, 240.00, (which is for children niether mom or dad have, she pays 240, he pays 240) and 165.00! we have 2 of our own plus i have 1 from a previous, that he is sole provider for. now, he's also getting sued for support of 2 kids that are his exs by someone else n hes never even met these kids! plus his ex went to court fri. and was told that since shes recieving tanf for these two new kids, she doesnt have to pay for the two that they have together??? so wheres the justice in it all? i think men do get the shaft and if women want to moan and cry about how hard it is to take care of thier kids alone, they can always give them to thier dad to raise. some of the dads would be more than happy to get a chance!!
81253
sounds like mother is no good. if he is an adult why is dad still paying child support? money should go to son automatically! maybe son should go to FOTC and dispute that case. let me know if you need my help. ntjack02@yahoo.com. and good luck god bless you.
71181
In years of being unemployed, under employed and overwhelmed, I never missed a payment, but I certainly kknow how that felt for me. \nI am not done yet...but my father never paid child support.\nMatter of fact I only saw him 3 or 4 times growing up. \n\nI think as a matter of course in doing what is right, you can hold your head up, even if it is tough going.  I will tell you I honor and respect you for taking the extra effort to do this, even if it is not fair.\n\nNot all fathers are like you.  I do wish you luck.
16535
Juvenile/Domestic Relation Law varies from state to state in the U.S.  I know in Virginia "they" (the court system) attempt other remedies first - after all, if you are in jail, it does the children (the only consideration as far as the court is concerned) NO good.  It also costs the taxpayers money to keep you there, and, it potentially costs the taxpayers more if they have to subsidize your childrens support.  Most likely, if you are in fact liable for support (back support or otherwise), the system will attempt to garnish your wages first, place a lein on any bank accounts in your name, and intercept tax refunds and the like.  Also, if you did happen to end up in jail - at least in Virginia - the 'tab' keeps running!  Your best bet, again, if you do owe, is to begin paying, a-absolutely-s-a-p, and keep (SECURE!) ALL receipts of your payments, AND TAKE THEM WITH YOU TO COURT!!!  Also, if you have to appear in court, BE RESPECTFUL, to your ex as well as the judge (well, you should respect the mother of your children in any event, it IS in the BEST INTEREST of YOUR CHILDREN).  Best of luck! - g
550575
Trust me it happens everywhere. I live in Australia same thing here. My daughter went to court for a few reasons, child support being one of them. She had two children to this moron who wouldn't work, she pretty much supported him, he was abusive so when she finally plucked up enough courage to leave he got himself a job, cash in hand ofcourse went to court and claimed he was only living on the dole.Even though she had proof of him working the judge didn't want to know about it. He was ordered to pay her  $20 a month for two kids and he has never even paid that. Trust me the judicial system sucks everywhere not just Rock county. Perhaps if all the mums who have been wronged by the system got together they may be able to change things. We can all live in hope  I guess. It's just not fair, after all it's the poor innocent kids that suffer. Best of luck  K  x
109242
I did the same thing with my ex husband.  It cost much less than a lawyer and you can apply with the Attorney General for free to get the Child support and custody resolved.  Lawyers are all about the money.