i did sex with 7 to 8 men before marrige at age of 18 now i m 25. they all were like beteen 30 to 35. now i m married but....still i cant stop my self to get attracted.i want to be loyal with my husband. how can i help my self.kindly help. i ll be realyy thank full.
212428
you are going to end up cheating\nher is why\nyou got married WAY too young\nmost who get married as young as you do will end up in divorce ( like 65% ), you are feeling like you left out things in your life ( like sex, sex and partying and more sex ).. ever seen those girls gone wild videos, wanna know WHY they do what they do ( and yes they have sex.. ), so one day when they find some poor sap of a guy who is tame, and settle down with, they had there share of wild sex and hubby is a dead lay in bed, but they do not care, they have a house now, a car etc.. a nice lifestyle,.. maybe they do the pool boy or whomever on the side.. all the while being a soccer mom. you are suffering from the same fate, you should get married about 28 to 34 or so.. to early and you still have that itch.
135652
You know the wrong men.  OR you are very young, & you need to worry about making yourself right while the guys your age grow up.\n\nMy husband desires my companionship & my love first, my body last.  If you want to attract men who will love you for YOU, first of all, dress the part.  If you value yourself for who you are & not what you look like, and you'll attract men who do, too.  If you are one of those young girls who flaunts her body because she thinks she has nothing else to offer -- you will only meet men who want your body.\n\nIf you dislike your body & you are shy because of this, you won't be attractive to anyone.  Work on yourself, love yourself, work on your confidence -- and you'll find a guy who values YOU.  Men love confidence!\n\nPut down those fashion mags & make yourself the best you can be.
505921
Pray for a wife.............I applaud your loyalty an God does too. But according to the Bible porn is a sin. I would strongly recommend you start thinking about marriage and don't just rush into it. Good luck and God Bless.
509731
I can totally relate to where you're coming from. I am also happily married to an amazing guy who sounds a lot like your husband - attractive, sweet, dependable. Yet I sometimes think about other guys I've been with (even brief relationships from back in high school!) or develop big crushes on guys I meet (see my latest post for details). \n\nI can also give you advice as someone who has followed her feelings and tried to "have it all" and the cake, too. A few years ago, I had a very brief affair - which I then confessed to my husband (also detailed in an earlier post). I was very fortunate that he forgave me, and now almost 4 years later we have a child together. The thing is, the affair totally wasn't worth it. Not only did I hurt my husband, who has been my best friend for 10 years, but I went through an emotional hell (and a deep depression).\n\nI can see a lot of similiarities in our situations because I am religious also. That can cause even more angst when these sexual feelings arise, because you feel so much guilt from them. What I've come to recognize is that the feelings are normal, but you just need to be careful not to act on them. It's OK to think about other people from time to time, to fantasize as long as you don't start spending all your energy wanting it to come true. \n\nIn your case, since you've been with this other guy in the past, it would be really easy to fall into it again. My advice is to stay away from him. Enjoy the memories of the exciting sexual moments you've shared in the past, and remember that you're an attractive person to other guys. Use it to boost your confidence and feel good about yourself, just don't act on it. Hope that helps! :-)
663274
Paulie there are groups out there for you, however, many are not as much helpful as they turn in to "hook up" avenues. If you really want help go to the local health dept. Or a trusted physician and tell him/her what is going on. You may just be experiencing every man's "crisis" that hits around that age. From what you describe, your's sounds like a real problem. It may be as simple as a hormonal imbalance. Check with your doctor. PROTECT yourself at all costs from diseases if you do happen to give in to the lust...please.
255431
You still love your X.  You love your husband, and if you're still young, you WILL feel strong attraction to possibly one or more others in your future.  \nThis happens to ALL of us, as a mechanism for survival of the species.  It is BUILT IN to us to love more than once.\n\nLove never dies.  But something went wrong between you and your X, and the relationship ended.  That one thing will never change between you, and will always be remembered.\n\nYou invested in this marriage because it seemed good.  You worked to make it good.  Are you working to KEEP it good?\nI am willing to bet either you or your husband have become lazy in going through the effort to be "attractive", and that just kills romance.\nThen we think we are not loved anymore.  In a marriage, that is very much BS.  Of course you are still loved.  Love does not die.  But it can be overshadowed by the demon PRIDE.\nGet rid of pride.  Do things to make yourself enticing and attracting.  And you can make the LOVE even better than ever before between you and your husband.\n\nI've been in a relationship that nearly died, and salvaged it with just a little effort on my part.  Wanted to leave, and figured, what the heck, I've got nothing to lose, let me play the game all the way out...so I did the bit of work needed to bring back the sparks. \n\nIt seems stupid at first, and remember PRIDE is a demonic factor.  But if you treat it like a game, you can have some fun with it, and get a very surprising outcome.\nIs he looking at another woman?  That is NOT an issue betweent he TWO OF YOU.   Sweetie, you have the advantage.  He's yours most all the time, right?\nHave a blast, entice and attract him, and you'll start to see him acting goofy again.  He won't even know what's happening, just that he feels good around you again.  It's just like dating.  They come back because you make them feel good more than any other girl.  Use those same keys to his heart again...who knows him better than you?\nDo the make-up, perfume, (try a mixture of the spice cinnamon+baby powder), and FLIRT with your husband!!!  Bend over.  Touch his shoulder.  Touch him lightly in the middle of the night, you'll even here his breathing change.\nWatch how he begins to spark at you once again.\nManipulate time alone with him.  Don't make an announcement on any of this...just work it girl.\n\nYou ARE married, and you do love your husband, and you always will.  Let the ex go, and quit turning outside for solutions to your marriage. Give him all the attention and effort you're presently giving the X.   \nTurn your efforts INTO the marriage and get busy being all girly again.  Oh yeah, and another really important thing.\nBecome your husbands best friend.  Let him know you really are his best friend, and that you like spending time with him.  Compliment him a little (not too much).\n\nALL marriages go through dry spells, especially when no one is trying to keep it interesting.  Don't make the mistake of saying, well HE'S not making the effort!  That is a load of BS and you know it.  Not many men even know how to make the effort unless they have an erection.  If you want him to jump through hoops, then you'll have to make sure he gets and erection first!  ha ha ha ha\n\nBe the Girl all we women can be if we want to.\nI wish you love
265997
i see that you want to have a more stable relationship and i don't blame u for that. \ni also wanted to marry when i was 17 and my bf 25. but we needed our parents' consent and they didn't agree. i have to tell you that now (when i'm 22) i realize that i'd have done a great mistake by marrying the guy then. i've met a lot of guys ever since and even though 'he' seemed to me the charming prince at that time, i realized that there were other guys much better than him.\nnow i don't even think about marriage, i want to enjoy life, cause all my life i'll be married. \nit's hard to be married i'm telling u. and you'll soon get bored of it and it's not like something you can give up like that. it concerns the rest of your life.
341269
Just because your marriage of 25 years is "ok" doesn't mean you can't have a strong attraction to someone you describe. People change throughout their lives and it sounds to me like you're gay.To reiterate, that you have spent a pleasant 25 years with your wife says no more than this time has been tolerable. If you're saying (sounds like you are) that you've been feeling earth shattering passion and obsession about your married friend, it's fairly obvious.
355865
Let me guess--you still think you're a good Christian, too? You know the answer to this question. You quit having affairs, get your act together, apologize to them (and to God) and get your life straightened out. Don't tell me it can't be done--you know it can. Sex is meant for marriage alone and then with one woman (not a dozen or even two). You are hurting them, hurting yourself, and you may end up a daddy long b4 you intended to. Quit the CRAP!!\n\nPS: God doesn't listen to sinners in sin--only when they ask for and WANT forgiveness and a change of life.
508919
OK i'm not going to push my values on you. But it's really up to you. When you get married and start having sex with your wife, do you want her to lean over in the morning and say "Oh baby, you're on my top 20 lovers list!"or would you rather know that you are the only one she has ever been with and ever really will be with?Also, if you have sex now while you're young and you think that the person you are with will love forever, guess again. If she can't wait for you, chances are, she's done it to other guys just like you. And if you have sex, it usually means you care very deeply for the person you are with. However, if you marry someone who has had sex before, that means that they have "deeply" loved others before you and left them. Which strengthens your chances of her leaving you. It's just all around beetter to wait until you're married, because that way, it's like your spouse is the only person you ever really loved enough to surrender yourself to, and it will give you a longer lasting relationship. And you will have a much happier marriage and life.\n\nMatthew, I know that there are going to be many mixed answers here, but just listen to me on this one. You can always lose your virginity, but you can never get it back once you've lost it. If you feel like an outcast because you aren't an anybody's man, you shouldn't. You should feel dignified that you are too good to settle for someone who only cares about your body; but that you are waiting for someone who cares about who will not be able to have sex when he's old. They will love for your entire life, and not just until they've had their share of orgasms.
47758
Oh you too hah sista girl.   I agree with Malfean,....deep within (and if you are honest with yourself), you would like to know what it would be like to experience a sexual encounter with this individual you're fantasizing about. Been there and came damb close; however, I've realized that.... this was all I pictured him for (sex and a little intimatcy....hugging - kissing)....there was nothing else....no visions of hangging with friends together, walking in the park, dinner and the movies, sitting up together on the sofa having good dilogue about whatever, bringing the paycheck home to you (hello..).... it was just sex, good sex, more sex and sex....I tried picturing doing other things with him and the imaganation didn't go that far....why???.....well, your soul mate (and that's your husband) have and will probably always supply you with those little things that truely matters. The things mentioned above (hangging together..etc.) will go farther than a good quick fix in the sack. I know it's just fantacy...but sometimes you have to see it for what it truely is...you'll realize it means nothing...so let it go.\n \nNow sometimes our spouses becomes less attractive to us over the years depending on how much they have let themselves go in appearance or how lazy and boring they may have become,...so we fantasize about someone who is just the opposite of your spouse; however, I've learned that if I'm to be in this thing 'til death do us part', I benefit more by talking to him (my spouse) about what we can do to make daily interaction with each other more exciting.... therefore, bring that excitement to the bedroom later on.....\n\nGirrrrllll...look at me giving advise about something I need to work on myself....but non the less, I know it's what I need to do to keep thoughts of other men out of my head when I'm with my husband. (Oooh, I did say other MEN hah....ummm...I mean that man...)..SMILE!!!!.... It's working though.\n\nSo good so far. It may get tough at times, but keep your interaction with each other positive and exciting...laugh a lot...it helps.
499776
Dude, I had one girlfriend in high school that lasted two months.  It took me a while to catch up on learning but now I can proudly say that I need more than two hands to count the partners I've had, and I'm 33.  The majority of people I were with were in a relationship with me for more than a year, so it's not like I constantly slept around.  At 28 years old I got tired of being a nice guy and decided to only make myself happy instead of always putting others ahead, and it has paid off well.  You still have to think with your brain more than your male appendage though.\n\nEven now I can still go to the clubs hanging out with my girlfriend (been together over a year), and I know the married couples that don't look too happy are envying me.  Just don't get married early and ruin it.  think of it this way too.  When you're in high school you really only connect with those in your school.  When you're in college the number of available women expands.  Then when you're in the real world it's a meat market.\n\nI can't say us males don't measure another guy in the number of women that he's conquered, but just play it safe and you won't have to hear from those same males on how many child support payments they make or avoid.
591628
first of all it depends on ur age and maturity. there are alot of slutty men out there that just get horny and like to f*ck all the time. in my case im not like that. im 19, have a beautiful wife and were thinking of having kids of our own later on in the future. some men (most i should say) are likely to get turned on by whatever means u do, especially if they like you or like how you look. some like it rough while others like it soft. others think that sex is totally wrong. there are some ppl that have never gotten laid in their lives (theyre the ones who get pissed off all of the sudden lol). some ppl are just too damn busy to even bother with it.\n\ni used to watch porn, but now that i have a wife, id rather watch her. usually she asks me if i would like to see porn with her. in my mind i totally dislike other women who have sick minds just to attract the other person. there are some ppl that find that irresistable. but like i said, most men like that.\n\nthe best suggestion id say is be who you are. its best and worth it. theres alot of ppl that try to fake their way through life. some guys think that the way the woman acts in porn is always like that. and since theyve watched so much porn in their noodle, they think a woman like that would be a bliss, thats pretty sad. no doubt, there are women out there to sell themselves and go along with STD's and cr@p. \n\nso if its either looking for the right guy for you, or just looking to f*ck some1, be urself. all guys like different types of methods of sex and different styles of living. so that means, if ur with ur bf, u gotta mess around with him, talk dirty and see if he likes it, or talk something like irresistable and see if he likes that. if he gives u a funny face then just stop (lol) and try something else. that askmen place should do it. i found it a few months ago. comes in handy for me, but its not only for men.\n\noh yeah, to answer ur question, i do like it when my wife talks to me in that way, but not all the time, because our lives dont sorround ourselves through sex, even though we like and love it so much. and thats only with my wife, im not the kind of guy that goes behind my wifes back and gets on line or on the street and gets laid by some b!snatch that i dont even know and talks dirty to me. after all, my wife is there, and all i gotta do is put moves on her or ask her if she wants to have sex. also, i dont see her as a doll or play thing, i see her as a being that i love and love for who she is and what she is and what she does. \n\nwell i hope this answers ur question. pls feel free to go on that website.
215759
It's completely normal for relationships and individual people to go through highs and lows of lust.  Think about things that make you feel really sexy that you wouldn't normally equate with sex, and translate it for the bedroom.  If a new outfit is exciting, get some funky new undies to show off too.  If you like to exercise and enjoy your body, look up some new positions.  If you like to travel and see new sights, get down and dirty in anyplace other than your bedroom.  And don't feel quilty!  Guys' sex drives peak at about age 18-25, but ours peaks somewhere between age 30-40.  Plus, you feel like sex after your period becuase that's just before you ovulate, which is when you are most fertile and receptive.  Work with that.  But don't worry too much about it.  It's totally normal.
96521
I've been out with lots of men who were older then me... much older. They all seem to be interested in the same aspect of the younger woman... our vitality, our fun loving nature, and what innocence we still have.\n\nMy suggestion is "be yourself", because if you aren't some day you could wake up and relalize how much time you've wasted.\n\nAs for sex... the best part about sex, at least in my opinion, is the experimentation with each other. Communication goes right with it... talk about your sex life, see what you like together, see where you might like to experiment a bit more. Buy a karma sutra book if it comes to it, but don't try to cram it all into the first few months... Believe me, you want something interesting later on down the road to try.
505857
My oppinion is that you are a few of the smart loyal and honest men out there and I applaud you for your well train of thought and consideration. I do not feel anyone should look down on you just because you have considered things that for others it doesn't even cross their mind. Continue your great way of thought simply because so many of us fall under pressure especially when being tempted with sex, and drugs. I was also a virgin when I got married and so many friends told me I'd regret it but I've been married for a year and the thought of cheating on my husband because I never had anyone before him never crosses my mind. Not to mention the great respect I got and continue to get from my husband everytime we make love!  I'm sure you will find somone someday who is going to also appriciate your well thought in life! Good luck and God bless
218255
You probably got married at a young age and didn't explore your sexuality enough..\nI do not believe in devorce,so I can unfortunately not give you any advice..\n\nYou need to spice things up with your marriage..\nJust talk to her..