My brain doesn't seem to comprehend things as well. I feel like I can NEVER make my woman slightly happy, and MAINLY bc of that, it makes me feel nauscious and underachieved. i feel i NEED to impress her. I really love this girl, and she has GREAT morals, and values, and is fine. \nSo, what the fuck is going on with me???????????????
217134
Being a female myself. Try not thinking so much. If she loves you she will appreciate whatever you do. i personally like the little things, getting flowers at work, him calling just to say I love you, He once covered one of my walls in my room with post it sticky notes (each one with something he liked about me written on it) not sure if she'd likeany of those but they might help. GOod luck. Feel free to email me anytime if you need to talk. w061204@yahoo.com
261959
Hello nic@nite! This sometimes happens wen we are missing something in our lives that we once cherished a lot! This is a way by which our subconscious lets us know that we need to do something to fill that void. It may or may not have anything to do wth that girl, but it surely has a lot to do with how you felt wen u were with her. Pls do a bit of intropspection and find out wat aspect in ur life is 'suffering', be it emotional, n so on.. I'm sure dat u wont be hurting again if you do dat, as it is just a reminder to let you know that u need someone or maybe just urself to fill that void. Blessings!
124302
Your mind some times plays tricks on you. Its called lets mess with her brain, because she happy and your sub con chance think Wow I happy and for what ever reason I don't deserve to be. Dump that feeling and get on with just being happy.
186789
great question and the trouble is you're trying to understand it from a guy's standpoint so you have no chance.  it's definitely down to what the girls here have been saying that they just feel uncomfortable with it and there is also a sense of predictability in treating a woman too nice. I'm single but cool with it as I know the key to all of this is being who you really are and not trying so hard to impress.  concentrate more on what makes you happy in life and the right girl will be attracted to that. don't try and make others happy as you'll lose sight of yourself
225987
Love is treating me real bad. Three different women want to have sex with me this weekend, but ... \n1) one of them is married, and 2 live with boyfriends.\n2) I have a girlfriend who lives in another state. I haven't  cheated yet, why start now?\n3) I am skeptical of a woman who solicits sex from me. I just am. All the fun is in the chase. That is where intelligence comes in. How can I be subtle with a woman who is oblivious to the subtle things in life?\n\nThis may come as a surprise but I have had enough sex. I am ready to shut the game down, but every girl I meet thinks I am still a player.\n\nI'm serious I have got to have a girl with a brain; no compromise. I don't care beautiful a girl is. What I want to know is; can she spell beautiful?\n\nSo ...
216371
Your answerers thus far have the right idea.  As a young guy, I went through something very similar.  I would pursue the girl actively, using any means at my disposal.  Then when she started acting interested, I sensed in myself a "loss of respect" for her.\n\nStupid and self destructive.\n\nFirst of all, you have to ask yourself, what do I want out of a relationship?  What makes me feel self-respect?  What kind of pleasures, aside from the physical, make me feel good when I'm with a guy?  Do I laugh?  Do we talk about meaningful stuff?  Does he care about me?\n\nIf you're anything like I was, making another person fall for you is one way of validating your appeal.  Okay, so that person fell for me...one more notch on the gun.  But I still don't feel that good.  Let me try the next guy.\n\nWhat you're doing may, in fact, be a way to help yourself feel attractive and appealing.  But you never quite get the feeling right.  And some guys treat you like ****, which only serves to reinforce your bad feelings about yourself.\n\nPeople have been saying it for a long time:  to love another, you must first love yourself.  That means, really feeling independently self-fulfilled.  Knowing that you're special and that you don't need someone else to make you feel that way.  \n\nSome people...maybe you...lose touch with that feeling of being worth something, and you continue to "play the field" seeking that which you'll never find, the love that you'll want to hold on to.\n\nAnd if you don't think you're really special, and know that it's true, and screw anybody who doesn't think so, then maybe you need to talk to a counselor.  Doesn't have to be a shrink; could be someone you trust, someone in church, but make it someone who has no stake in the outcome, someone who can be objective.\n\n~Dialectic_Dilettante
387588
You have been dominated and controlled and you need to take control for, and also of, yourself.  You are not mental, or a failure!\nGet some self assertion classes and think about what you want from life.  Then make some decisions and carry them through.  i promise you, you will feel much better when you are doing what you want to be doing...good luck...;
77235
dear friend there's nothing wrong with you...you are absolutely fine.....its just in your head that you are not well & unmotivated....... you just need someone to cheer you up & take care of you as you might be feeling lonely.....so just think positively & refresh yourself.........\nhave a nice day & live well..
67722
Hmmm...good question. I remember feeling the same way with an ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately that did not end all too well. Now, I don't actually mind if my girl were to talk to other guys, for the fact that if she were to ever do anything, then you should know that it is not the end of the world. There are many women out there my friend, and if she were to ever cheat or do anything to hurt you, then she isn't worth a lick! Just try to stay calm, trust her and trust in yourself that whatever happens, you will come out ok...
31035
Hahahahahahaha! \n\nDude, you screwed the pooch. \n\nWhat, she all of a sudden looks good because she's found someone new? I know what that's like. I've been there. You don't want her - but you don't want anyone else to want her either.\n\nYou're mistaking that feeling of loss as love. \n\nWhat you need to do is go out and date someone else. How about the chick you screwed your 'love' over with in the first place?
215651
He's feeling threatened and vulnerable. If my girlfriend told me that, I'd start wondering how long until the interest in women grows stronger than her interest in me and she leaves me. And this probably made him feel inadequate, like he wasn't good enough to satisfy you himself. It may not sound logical, but our emotions often aren't. The fact that he got upset is likely a sign that he cares deeply for you. If you care about him, make him feel manly and make it clear to him that you need his manliness (unless you don't, in which case there is likely a break-up in your future).
4571
You mentioned many good things to not only impress a woman but to keep her satisfied materialistically. However, in my experience, when a woman says that you don't care about her feelings that usually means she feels that you don't listen to or try to help her with her problems or you don't ask for or respect her opinions. Both of these will require you to work on your listening skills. In the case of her problems she may only require someone to listen to her, if you have any advice, guidance or help to give then by all means give it. If not, then let her know that you will be there for her if she needs something from you. In the case of her opinions not only will you have to ask for them but also do what she wants to do, even when you don't want to.\nGifts, trips, dates, these are all things that all women want, but they are far from ways that show that you care. Listening, offering your service, and respecting her opinion are but some of the ways to show a woman that you care about her feelings.
293057
Hi\nyou can be the most beautifull,inteligent,independent woman in the world but if your man does not feel adored,understood or the king of his castle he will crumble and feel insecure and look some where else or for someone who will make him feel like a man again.Can i suggest reading fascinating womanhood by Helen Andelin if you follow the principles in this book i promise your man will never stray ever again,its a little heavy in places but it will change your relationship forever as long as you keep applying the principles.How do i know because i have been with my husband 18 years i applied what i read in this book and my husband was the happiest succesful man any woman could wish for, and the love he had for me was beyond any womans imagination he couldnt do enough for me,our marriage was beautiful.But guess what were all human and i eventualy stopped applying the principles i became distant and stopped listening to him and well he started flirting with someone he worked with he would go to the corner shop in the evenings jus to text her on his mobile, luckily he was sussed by me and confessed he had only been cheeting for two weeks and had only got to the stage of kissing although they were starting to plan more comfortable surroundings.\nyea i was mad and told him i wanted a divorce then i began to understand what he was searching for.We are now happily married and closer than ever and yes i apply those principles again. Happy reading and good luck
670297
love yourself and then you will.  is there something that you feel guilty about that makes you think you are not worthy of love?  don't you love others?  then why can't they love you?\nI think you are suffering from depression and need to start by trying to get more sun outside..this stimulated the optic nerve.  also you can try an herbal remedy called "St.John's wart."  you are a beautiful person and you have a beautiful family who needs you to feel good about them, life and yourself.  Friends unfortunately like people who make them feel good, and if you are depressed, you can not do this for them.  You need to find answers and start seeing the beauty in yourself and  the life you have with your family. \n1. I want you to get up in the morning and first thing you do is go to the bathroom and look yourself in the merrow and say "I love you" and "Today is going to be a good day!".  this is a positive affermation.  your brain needs this to balance out the negative feelings and things you have been telling yourself.  you have been abusing yourself.\n2. I want you to tell your family that you love them and compliment them...tell them when they look nice and tell them when you notice something good about them...they need to hear positive things from you too.\n3. Do at least one thing just for you.  something for yourself.  It is to make you feel good, even if it is just soak in a tub with bubble bath...go for a walk, sit in the sun for a few minutes, wear colorful clothing, eat something healthy like a fresh peach...\nMy dear you have a lot of negative energy and you must turn it around.  You know you are depressed and you sound like a woman who beats herself up because she feels overweight..I do that.  look around..how many women do you see that look like a barbie? not many...and they have men who love them and are happy. women who are thin feel the same way...it is a social standard that is put on women by TV and magazines who alter photos of women to be un-naturally tall and beautiful..they paint over the natural photos and air brush them and stretch them so they look perfect....and then men and women think this is what they should look like....it is just not real.\nwhe was the last time you plucked your eye brows, shaved your legs, painted your toe nails...this is what I do when I feel down and remind myself I am beautiful.\n4. Get a part time job or do volunteer work for a few minutes or hours a day..do something for someone else (not in your family) at least 2 times a week. this will get you out of your little world and stop you from "thinking about your depression" all the time. it is rewarding and makes you feel worth something..especially when you get the check or someone says "Thank you so much, you are so wonderful!"  You need to hear this from a total stranger...for some reason we believe strangers more than the ones we love because they have no reason to lie to us.  One time I felt like crap and I picked a few tomatoes from the garden and gave them to an old man down the street and it made us both feel good and now he likes me and smiles when he sees me.\nworking outside alone in the garden is another thing that makes many women feel great.\n\nPlease don't think I am judging you because I was in depression and I was on the couch 24 hours a day and 7 days a week....I didn't know I was depressed but my kids were feeling sad too.\nGet out of the negative vibe...and if you can't...then you need to try St.John's wart or go to a doctor for some antidepressants.\nDo it now because you are missing beautiful moments with yourself and your family.  there are many people who want to be your friend but you have walls up and they know you have closed yourself off......open your heart and your life so they can come in and see the real you.\nwhen you meet someone they see your expression and they feel you are saying to them:  "I do not want to be bothe
431767
Your probably just feel insecure because of your previous relationship going wrong. The thing is everyone (or almost everyone) has an ex and has a relationship that has gone for whatever reason. Just stick with it, you learn from things that have gone wrong in the past and you get to improve things. This girl clearly likes you and you feel alot for her. If you are feeling insecure and are having doubts then speak to your girlfriend. She is the best person to talk to about it and she will definately be able to put your mind at rest! Good luck and don't let it get you down, your lucky to have someone in your life. xxx
644273
Your question worries me because I think you have some serious psycological issues.There is clearly something missing in your life and any girl will not make it better, even if one does, it would mean that you are forever dependent on her. You need to start accessind what makes you lonely and is it peer pressure that makes you want a girlfriend or what? Come on you are better than that! I have faith in you!
55303
Not really, she is 3 states away though. I feel confident he loves me, so it is all good. As to if I was the one that the jealousy was directed at, I imagine I would feel fairly apathetic or maybe even a little sorry for the girl who couldn't just feel good about herself.