I have my fiancee any we were had been together for more than 3years, i remember on first year we were happy and love each other but problem start after 2 year, when she get me bored she doesnt know even to say sorry and in other time she provoke bad words to me when im in need of knowing something from her. She changed  lot even the way she used to love me before. and when it come to a little talk with her she doesnt be attention. The other day she was asking permition from her father that she is going to night club with but she was cheating insteady she was going with another man. Now it comes to a point that she provoke to that she know herself when sheis going to be called Mrs and from who. another words that she provoke which pain in my heart a lot is that during we were being together she cant see the changes. On myside i try to keep mum and now she is asking me what did i think of her? and i answer the same as she take me. Help me could i give her another chance, but im tired.
211278
One can forgive, but they cannot always forget. It seems like it may is time to move on if you have attempted to address the issue to no avail. \nThere is someone better out there that will treat you as you deserve to be treated.
129728
i don't know what's wrong with her, but if i were you i would get out now. how many more years of this crap are you going to take? if you have given her no reason to treat you the way she does and she still does it, she has some issues and you deserve better. in relationships where you have been together for a while and it seems like nothing will change, something drastic has to happen before anything will. take some time apart and reevaluated your feelings and the situation.
170453
I understand what your going thru. My best friend is doing the same thing to me. I called her in November to ask her if she wanted to go out for her b-day and she hasn't called me since. I did find out that she is getting married(through a mutual friend) I have no idea what's going on w/her either. Like an earlier answer said, I'm sure she is probably dealing with something in her life right now that she doesn't feel so great about. Maybe she feels too bad to talk to you about it? Maybe she thinks you'll judge her. I would just do what I did. I called my best friend a couple of weeks back and left her a message on her cell. I told her that I didn't know what was going on but I still loved her and cared about her very much. We've been friends for 13 years and I have never judged her for anything she has done in the past and she can come to me with anything. After you've done that, all you can do as back off and give her some space. If she's truly the friend that you think she is(and like I think my best friend is) she'll come around. Just let her know that you are worried about her and want to make sure she's ok. If she continues to be this way, maybe you're better off without her. That's what I've decided.
608486
Sad to hear this. I know the feeling of giving your all to that one girl you truly love. I believe you that it is far more than sex...it's love and companionship. It's that wonderful feeling that you have when you're with her whether in silence or not. The sad part is that she avoids discussing things to questions you deserve answers to.\n\nAt your age, I bet the feeling must be harder. I don't think no answer can quench your thirst but her honesty to why things can't be the same again.\n\nWhen did things started to change? Look back to what you might have done wrong or probably she is not really serious about spending her life with you.  A lot of times, we got to accept the hard facts that things are beyond our control and we have no choice but to accept and move on. \n\nWhat can we do with the pain but acknowledge it and eventually accept and carry on with our lives. Things might not be the same again but surely one day, you'll fall in love over again when you least expect. \n\nGood luck. This stage is hard but things will change, don't let this destroy your life.
388712
Now what exactly is she unhappy with?  My guess is she's not giving you the full story.  Did she suddenly decide that a married life and the responsibilities that go with it, is not what she wanted in the first place?  Was she upset with you because you were gone and she was feeling lonely?  Is there another man in the picture?  If you are even going to try to save your marriage, you need to do a heart to heart talk with her and find out what she wants out of the marriage.  If she wants out, then I guess she has made her choice.  Not much you can do about it then.
14404
Hmm, \nI've been in the same position. Try to ask around her family and friends and find out if she has any favourites, always wanted to do somthing or if she needs something.  Maybe listening to things she has said she likes and surprise her by getting it for her.\n\nAlso try to listen more and not to try and fix it when she is telling you about her problems, sometimes she only wants to talk about it and will solve it herself.
447393
I know it's hard, believe me! It's not something you get over in one night, or one year. It takes alot of time and you have to ask yourself if you are willing to give yourself that time? Is the marriage good now? Is it worth working on? Your wife needs to work on rebuilding your trust. Is she willing to do whatever it takes to help you along with this? It really seems to me that she is, because 20yrs is a long time that you both have invested in. I know you are in pain right now, your wife has been in pain for the last 10yrs thinking about what she did and has lived with knowing that one day you would find out and maybe end the life she really wants. And that is to be wife and a mother to YOUR kids. I am not making excuses for her because what she did was wrong! I know you need validation right now and you have every right to feel that way. You (I am sure) are a great dad. So for right now, focus on that. Time will heal...I promise!
407068
You said she was in a bad relationship prior to yours. He may have been the  jealous aggressive type and she may not be used to someone who's mature and not insecure. Unfortunately for you, she may be insecure and she may think that the only way for good things to happen is if bad things happen first. Maybe she just needs time to adjust to a good loving relationship. Explain to her how you show your love in a positive way maybe she's a little blind to it because of her rough past. If you love her enough, guide her through it and be patient. It'll pay off.
179512
You still seem to be focused on your own feelings. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it. Why are you bringing up hurt feelings. He has said that it is over and he forgives you. You seem  to be dwelling on it as if you feel that he didn't punish you enough. Sometimes you have to accept that everything will not get the necessary 'closure' that we all need. He might be the type of person who likes to work out their issues quietly within himself. He might be one of the types of men who heal better by just having time and thought. If he feels you are pushing him so you can have some kind of GUILT RELIEF and call it closure, he just might leave. You feel taken for granted but guilty about what you did. You want closure. You feel like he doesn't love YOU. You don't talk about it (You and he). You are willing to talk. You have changed.  He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't see the change. I would be tired of you if I was him your whole thing seems so self motivated and yet you are the one who messed up. It depends on what you did because if you cheated, honey he will never forget that and you will have to either stick in there until he is ready to completely forgive you or you can let him find someone who is more interested in the word WE and not HE and I.
160610
its ok......u both are changing....\ngive urself sumtime clear out misunderstandings n stuff talk to her maybe she needs help.......but if it still's not working   break it\nbut at least u wont regret not trying...right????
294049
You will be pissed once you find out, even if you try not to be.  My fiance and I told eachother one night when we were playing cards and hanging out and we had had a few beers.  It was kind of like haha funny well ... we made it a fun situation and we both have an idea, but we don't know exactly, and we haven't talked about it since then.  It still hurts sometimes when I think about it, but you just have to remember it was in the PAST and if he really loves you, he doesn't even think about them anymore.
41888
well I have good news and bad news. If she is angry chances are she still loves you. YOu dont really get upset with people you have no feelings for. The bad news is that nothing can make the pain go away, and if you really love her you always will. But as time passes so will the pain. The two of you can never have a healthy relationship because you have too much history now. So chalk this as a learning experience because maybe thats what it was meant to be.
302203
There might be some sort of communication problem that is going on. Politely ask her if anything is wrong or unusual about how she is feeling. Does she maybe think you have done something? Does she maybe think or feel you have left her behind or betrayed her? You can never know how someone feels unless you ask them. Questions are the key to results in any situation. If you do not ask you can not learn. Do not be rude when confronting her, but confront her none the less. She might have issues beyond the two of you and your relationship. She might have outside problems that she thinks no one can fix. Help her and also help her understand you are there for her. Don't sit back and let it go on. Talk to her and find out the truth. Don't let it sit still and dwindle till it is to late.
142274
I am somewhat in this same situation.  I was a drinker when I met my bf and he has since asked me to quit (or only drink when he is around).  He knows I tend to be more "open" or social when I'm under the influence of alcohol and that scares him, and he has every reason to be (i am a heavy drinker and have been known to black out).  I guess it depends on how much she is drinking and how often.  Do you see yourself EVER being able to accept it.  I'm sure you have tried talking to her about this already, hence the fighting.  Please, next time, express your fellings calmly, genuinely, and with love.  If she is 100% defending her actions without even so much as considering your feeling on this, it may be a lost cause.  (From experience, the more defensive she is, the more difficult the situation, there may be more to what she is doing).  If she loves you, she will at least consider what you have to say. \n\nAlso, you may want to re-evaluate your marriage.  I'm no counsler, but I've known from my own relationships that sometimes the spark burns out.  She may just be seeking the "new" that she misses from when you 2 met.  Is rediscovering those "new" feelings with her an option?
209596
She is probably not in love anymore. Or just really home sick. Have you ever concidered going with her? Maybe she knows when she leaves in a few months its over between you and she doesnt want to prolong this situation because it will hurt both of you in the end. Talk to her and ask her questions. She will open up to you eventually! good luck
641505
i just got out of a four year relationship about three weeks ago .....we are still friends but he acted the same way your fiance is acting i finally realized that he's never going to change and i wasn't happy with it so i left him alone ...................u just have to be strong and not let him take advantage of u.......if u really love him ask him straight out how he really feels and tell him not to play games.......
68038
What do you mean by a cool off period? do you mean you guys are on a break? (just making sure). That is the biggest pile of Horse dung that i have read in my life. Dude she tells you that you are the one that she loves, but yet keeps in contact with this person. She feels that you do not need to worry about it because you are the one that she loves? (RFLMAO this is funny) but yet she knows that you do not approve of it AND she accepts the gifts and flowers that that man sends her. AT THE VERY LEAST SHE COULD HAVE AT LEAST REJECTED THE FLOWERS.\n\n\nthats totally disrespectful that she continues to keep in contact with him when SHE KNOWS that man has feelings towards her and you do not approve. i bet she wouldnt take that as an answer if the shoe was on the other foot.\n\nobviously the person underneath me has never heard of unfaithful women and men that have absolutely no balls and will lie to your face. But there is one thing that i agree with and thats the whole trust issue. but your supposed fiancee is disrespecting your feelings. \n\nto each his own i guess