I have not had much expertise in dating, akshaly non.\n\nI had a cruhs of a gurl in college for a year at the end of the year she told me she was not intrested after flirting  with me for the hole time. This was very pain full and i have not dated eny one not even a first kiss. It has ben 8 years sens than I am ready to triy agin. I have no expertis in dating and am a prity sisative guy, My mom is a acahloic so i never got that a lot of self confidence.\n\nBut eny whay: I am not being clear of some thing. I that when a guy asks a gurl to dinner that meens a Date right??\n\nAll i wont is a grul how will love me as much as i love tham...
211873
maybe its just bad luck.how about starting out slow.go up to a girl and see if she doesnt have a guy around first,and say hi.just start a conversation,ask her name and compliment her.after u two talk for awhile then ask her if she would maybe like to go out to a movie or dinner sometime.if she says yes then get her #.ur not always gonna get a yes,but maybe it will just take some time.plus like u said u have no experience.think of it this way.its practice.but good luck and hope my advise works out for u and i also hope u find that special one.u seem like a real nice guy.
320836
I dont automatically walk away.  I want to have a family of my own, but I dont mind 'jump starting' one.  I know I am not alone when I say this though, the hard thing for you will be the way you handle your child with me.  Single moms that introduce me to the child on the 1st date will not get a call back from me.  I dont need to be 'just another dude my mom is with' in the child's eyes.  However, if we wait till things work out with us, then it fine to introduce the child.  Be honest about your children through dont try to surprise a guy with it 6 months into the relationship.  Single moms are great too because they dont get to go out as much and are usually much more appreciative of the romantic dinner out.  Good luck...and hang in there...the right guy is out there for you I can feel it :)
36663
I agree somewhat with Katrina, that men can be intimiated by independent and strong women.  But, as a guy, I would say "put off," not exactly intimidated.  For example, I recently dated a gal who I was very attracted to, although she wasn't stunning- she just "did it" for me.  But, she spent too much time telling me about her degrees from MIT, how she worked for Steve Jobs, etc..  Relationships are about humanness to me- life's little problems, emotionality, sensuality.  I talk shop all day at work, and want something deeper in a relationship.  It just got to a point where I didn't want to hold a conversation with her, since we just couldn't connect.  I guess the point is maybe revisit the guys you like with a deeply human approach, and see how that works.  I agree with the rest of the posters-  it's hard to meet someone you like.  It's true for me, too.  I live in the middle of nowhere.
497357
your parents are trying to protect you. A lot of parents are the same on that one. Next week I will be 26 & I have never dated in my life. I have always wondered when I weill meet the right girl. I am also a virgin. I say you should wait until you finish school & graduated college & get a good job then when you are in your 20's get a boyfriend. As I remember some years ago when I was like 18 or 19 my uncle asked me if I had a girlfriend, yet & I said no. He said good, you are too young. So take my advice. Don't start dating until you know for suure you'll spend the rest of your life with the guy. I now know why I have never dated in my life. People ask me why, but I hide the real answer & tell them another.
611091
It sounds like you've really thought this all out, and you have made a good plan. It takes courage to step out there and take a chance on a relationship. Just being yourself and being honest is seriously the way to go. \n\nBest wishes!\n~Tia~\nYahoo Brainiac\nhttp://advision.webevents.yahoo.com/asktheplanet/brain.html
582507
I believe that the true gentlemen have not all died and gone. I believe that a lot of men are intimidated by the idea of  a liberated woman. I feel that we can talk our men into most anything. Why not talk him into being more of a gentleman. He wasn't passing gas and scratching while he was dating you and taking you out, or was he. In that case, you knew what you were getting. In the other case, ask him to bring that guy back that you were dating and fell in love with. If this is a first date for you, demand that he do gentlemanly things. We blow it because we have sex on the first date and men think we aren't worthy of affection and the chivalrous behavior of gentlemen from back in the day. We are strong and quick to move. Be still, wait for him to open the door before you just snatch it open, wait for him to pull out your chair. It will be hard for him to have dinner with a woman who is still in the car, or better yet standing next to the table at the restaurant. We mustn't forget that a lot of today's men have no idea what this chivalry is, so if we want it, we have to in some cases teach it and in all cases demand it. Respect yourself and the gentleman will act accordingly. In the field of Mental Health, we say that we should tell the kids what we want from them not what we don't want. The same applies here. Tell him that you want hin to be more of a gentleman instead of assuming that he's just an ass. If that is how you see him, that is the behavior you will get. I see my man as a gentleman and he never opened doors for me until we talked about it and then just recently while we were out, i noticed that he rushed to the door to open it for me. It's a process and it has to start somewhere, why not with you. \n\nClarissa\nSylva, NC
76421
I was a virgin until I was 25. Then that situation was happily remedied.\n\nI think that life is a lot more than just sex. Obviously, sex is something we all desire. And, we do deserve at some point to experience that joy. It can seem like it will never happen when you go so long before you finally "get some", but for some of us, things just have to fall into place first. \n\nMy suggestion isn't the same as those freaks that just say "let it happen naturally"... I had to realize that I was getting older and it wasn't happening for a reason. It wasn't them - it was me. And, the best thing is, the only thing I can change is ME.\n\nYou can change yourself. Some things you can't change, but some things you can. Make an effort to have more FRIENDS of the female gender. Be a genuine friend. Don't guilt them over not having sex with you, don't pressure them to date you. You can start out just by being nice to random ones you meet (work, college, etc). Be positive around them. Even if inside you are still bitter - only let the positive out. Eventually someone will appreciate your effort, even if she sees through it. Effort earns a lot of points. Things will fall into place.
637108
Perhaps you could ask her indirectly. Carefully crafted words are the key here to achieving your desired goal.....having a boyfriend. Okay, step 1) find a time when you and your mother are relaxing, no phones, dinner is finished, house is clean. 2) Begin the conversation like this: "You know Mom, I am now ___ years old, and I was wondering if you would allow me to go to the movies with _____________. I know you have not had an opportunity to meet ________, but I can invite him by the house on _________. He is a really nice guy. Now, if you do not have a boyfriend, and no prospects, then I would suggest that you address your mother in this manner: Mom, I have really matured over the last year and I would like to respectfully request permission from you to go on a date occassionally with a carefully selected boy that I will bring home first for you to meet.  Don't be shy about it. Be assertive, without being pushy. Tell her what your heart desires, and do it in a kind, courteous, confident and mature manner. The way you approach this request to have a boyfriend is important. You have to let your mother know that you are ready for this big step in your young teenage life. \nNow, be honest in your evaluation of yourself here okay? Think! Really think here! And answer my question truthfully! Question: Have you been on your best behavior over the last year? Have you done everything that has been asked of you by your mother? Have you gotten into any serious trouble lately? Did you make good grades and behave appropriately in school? These questions are important, because if you have been cutting up and acting like a trifling little hoochie mama, it is highly likely that your mother will say no. But if you have been a perfect angel, and behaved appropriately over the last year, then I dont see any reason that your mother will not agree to your terms. Also, let her know that any boy you meet, you will bring them home to meet her, and your curfew is 9p.m. weeknights and 10:30 on weekends. Or, if your curfew is later than this, use your current curfew. Well, I hope this helps. Best wishes to you. And have fun.
131594
You mean "caucasian." Anyway, you are 12 and you're too young to date. Guys your age are only after one thing, so don't even bother. Wait until you are older to date, i'd say 18. You can flirt, maybe go on dates, movies, kiss a little but don't go falling head over heels for every good looking guy. Take it easy. Focus on school work hehe :) How do you choose a guy? how about you choose zero, zilch, nada, nothing! trust me, you don't need a boyfriend now. When I was your age I never wanted a boyfriend because I knew they only wanted sex and wanted to have fun then break my heart so I chose not to get involved with any at all and now I am 21 and have a great b/f. Even grown men take a long time to mature lol, how can a young one like 13 grow up?? They want fun and you will only be just that. I'm not trying to get in your case but wait ok, and be patient!! Don't date, don't do anything you will regret; your reputation is on the line and once it's screwed up it cannot be fixed. You are probably an 8th or 9th grader. No boys needed. Chill with your female friends. Ciao.
24356
I was 16 when my parents allowed me to start going out on dates with a guy alone.  Prior to being 16, I was only allowed to go out in groups.  Before I was 16, I can't really say that I supported their policy, but in hindsight, I'm glad that they made me wait until I was 16.  Before 16, I don't really think that you are mature enough to think seriously about what you really want to get (and give) out of your dating experience(s).  Even at 16, it's really too young to think about seriously dating anyone since most people now are going to college or pursuing some kind of higher education.  Regarding your friend who is 17 and has not been out on a date...is it because he is not allowed or is it because he doesn't have any desire to date?  Maybe he is just very selective about who he wants to date and hasn't found someone that he would consider dating.  Remember that when you are dating, your feelings are involved.  Maybe he doesn't want to feel obligated to push things to the next level with a girl and he is trying to avoid doing that by not dating.  I think that in time, your buddy will make up his own mind when he finds somebody that sparks his interest and he feels bold enough to ask her out.  He's 17, not 27.  Give him a little time to come out of his dating shell.  He's probably still just starting to get comfortable with who he is.
404096
Absolutely normal if you ask me... You're just not ready yet. My advice: take your time, enjoy flirting and don't put any pressure on yourself. It's not obligatory to date... it's suppose to be fun, remember?
357669
Did you ever stop to think that your parents do think you are responsible and trustworthy, and that their reason for not wanting you to date is because they don't trust who you may end up dating? Maybe ask them about that?  Discuss options like taking a self defense class, prove to them that you can fend for your self and protect yourself if they are not there. Maybe becoming open with them and discussing dating... what you expect to happen when you date, what they expect... run through scenerios that you may find yourself in.... Find out their fears and concerns for you and work together with them on what you would do if you were in situations that they are concerned about.
482372
Ok... I've got two answers for you... so here goes...\n\nThe simple answer:  Probably.\n\nThe more complicated, and more important answer....\n\nYou are insecure. You know this... I know you know this, because you are an obviously intelligent person, but you simply haven't gotten to that point where you are really comfortable "going for it." I know this, because I was the same way for most of my life.\n\nGuess what? So is she. So is everyone. Everyone is insecure about things... over time those insecurities change to different things, but everyone has them. Yeah, most likely she likes you... but here's the best part, even if she doesn't, it doesn't really matter. Let's say you go talk to her, and ask her out... there's only really three things that can happen:\n\n1) She says yes, all is well and good with the world, you go off and have a wonderful time, and who knows...\n\n2) She says no. It doesn't matter what the reason is, just be nice and courteous, and let her know that you were interested, and to have a good life or whatever. Remember this: being nice now truly will be good for you later. After all, she might be taken, but that doesn't mean her hot friend is.\n\n3) She doesn't give you a clear answer. This can go a lot of ways, but usually if a girl doesn't make it fairly apparent that the answer is no, that means that the answer would be yes, except there is just something else going on that is keeping her from saying it. That can be anything from purely an insecurity issue, to having just gotten out of a relationship, and not feeling ready to date, etc... but the important thing is this: She didn't say no.\n\nIf #3 happens, let her know you are interested, tell her something nice, and let it go. In a week or two, take another shot and see what happens. If you end up doing this a couple times and she simply isn't going to say yes, then assume there is something you can'd do anything about, and move on.\n\nAnyway, good luck... and ask her out.
497425
Hi sweetie.  Good for you for recognizing this stuff about yourself at such a young age.  The most important advice you can keep is - remember to be kind to yourself.\n\nYou're not a whore, and your not a geek.  Instead of chucking guys and focusing totally on school, why not just cut back and be really selective about which guys to date?  Say no to the jerks, say yes to one you normally wouldn't, and say "good job" to yourself for every good thing you do.\n\nBut remember to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Everybody makes them. Many worse than yours. \n\nI'm not a religious freak - I just strongly believe in self-redemption.  The alternative is too destructive.\n\nSmile - your best friend is you!
320579
I don't know how old you are, but obviously pretty young. \nI'll tell you that you should respect what her parents say. This gets you in good with them. They maybe worried that you are trying to give her stuff to feel obligated to do sexual things with her. In which case, that's too serious for your age and mom and dad know that. Okay, so your intentions were good, and not trying to buy sex, but trying to show her how much she means to you. Girls don't know this. They are too young to understand any of that. She confided in you about her deep feelings, feel honored, most girls don't feel that comfortable around any guy. If you want to tell her that you miss the times you had with her, that is okay, that lets her know that you really care about her still, but you understand that you both aren't ready for something that serious. She will then always remember that you are a wonderful boy, and her parents will always remember you were respectful. Wait until she and you are old enough to date seriously, who knows what the future holds. Remember to get good grades and go to college so you can get a good job; no girl (or woman) likes a stupid, broke man. Keep being you.
8408
This may not be exactly what you want to hear but I'm going to answer your question in the adult manner in which you asked it.\n\nIf the relationship is meant to be, it will last the test of time...time for both of you to grow up a bit more & wait to date with your parents approval. I know this doesn't help much but everyone, including your boy-friend is trying to look out for you & do what's best. Personally, it always annoyed me when people did this for me when I was your age so I can understand you feeling like you don't know where to turn.\n\nMy suggestion is to remain friends with this boy & don't try to take things too fast. There is always time for dating in a few years, not to mention all of the other things that tend to come with dating. While you might feel ready for some of that now, you will appreciate it much more after having waited for it & building a stronger friendship. Yes, I know you may not believe this right now so, please, read this little story about my cousin...\n\nI have a cousin who met a boy when they were both young...just about your age, in fact. The two of them became friends but he was shy &, as time went on, he never asked her out. He didn't go out with anyone else either & always spent his free time with her. Well, when they turned 16 & 17, he finally asked her out & they dated only each other. As it turned out, the boy had asked my uncle long ago what his rules were about dating his daughter (when he was about 14, I believe) & also told my uncle of his intention to marry her someday. While my uncle didn't believe it at the time, he certainly did as the years rolled by & the boy refused to date anyone other than my cousin. All the way through high school & college they were a pair &, believe it or not, they didn't even go in for the things that most teenagers do, if you know what I mean. To everyone else it just seemed like a sweet & gentle relationship.\n\nWhen they finally moved to that next level of a relationship, they were already in college, having been together & waited years with nothing more than kisses & hugs. They are now married with a beautiful child &, I promise you, have one of the strongest relationships that I have ever seen. I honestly think this is because they were friends first & took their time learning everything about each other.\n\nI hope this helps & that you can learn something useful from my cousin's story...
321988
Dude, you sound just like me. My wife left me last July.  We had been together for 7 years.  We didn't have kids, do you?  I think that might make a difference.  Anyway, I turned 28 2 days after the divorce was final.\n\nYou have every right to feel scared.  Since we were kids whenever we hooked up with our exwives, we never really went through the dating scene that you are about to enter.  I see that some of the peeps are advising you not to enter in to a relationship, but you arent asking about a relationship, you are asking about dating, gotta keep that seperated.  If you are anything like me, your world has stopped spinning and you are all sorts of messed up in the head.  Don't let that part of you bring down the rest of you.  For me, it was real freaking important psychologically to know that I could still pull tail.  Let me tell you, it was not that hard.  Just so you know, I am nothing special.  I aint Mr. GQ.  I aint some gym rat either.  I tell you that because I always see dudes our age at the bars all GQ'd out looking like they live in the gym and I never thought I could compete with that, well don't.  You don't have to.  You don't want the bar flies that chase those dudes anyway.  \n\nFirst thing you gotta do is get your mind right.  You are a dude that was faithful to 1 girl from the time you were an irresponsible kid till now.  You havent been in bars chasing skeezers every night since you turned 21.  You are a good dude that is different than those type of guys.  You understand relationships and women.  You know the expectations of a woman and will naturally meet them.  Things like calling, being thoughtful, etc. are hard for dudes who have never been married, its natural for you and women love that.  Girls that are our age have the same concerns that we do.  Good girls are looking for good dudes and are willing to give you a chance if you can present an acceptable formula of traits.  You know you can.  \n\nI have dated 5 girls since my wife left me 9 months ago.  1 was a girl that I knew from highschool, (work that circuit).  3 were girls that I met via my job that worked for other companies, and the most recent one was an acquaintance of one of my friends wives.  If you are anything like me, your friends are all married and the wives know that you are a good dude, thus willing to set you up.  Keep your expectations real.  You know deep down the level of girl that you can pull.  Work all angles and dont listen to anyone who gives you a time table.  You need female companionship to get your esteem up.  Take it where you can get it.\n\nYou'll be alright.  It'll all work out for you my man.