Why do they do that?\nI refuse to feel guilty, but I still wish it would stop
205992
I'm actually having that same problem. In my case, yeah, I made a mistake, but I fessed up to it, was honest about it, and tried to apologize for it. I still feel like the other person is trying to make me feel guilty, and I refuse to be around people who are always negative all the time. I thought that I liked people like that, and maybe I did once, but now it just brings me down. I want to feel better, not feel how alone I am, and how much the world sucks. That's my story.
233347
It's a power struggle with people like that...they really want to drag you down to their level. I just never let them.....it pisses them off, you can tell. Gotta love it!
273918
We all have our indiscretions. You made a mistake, you know it, get over it.\n\nYou need to forgive yourself and move on.  It doesn't matter what others think.  What matter most is what you think of yourself. \n\nThe fact that you feel remorse makes you a good person with values who needs to move on and not make the same mistake again.
243923
In human behavior, I would call it blame shifting. Even when we as humans do something wrong we sometimes feel the need to blame someone else... as to justify our actions. It's also a way of making ourselves feel better. The second it's not our fault is the second it's not our problem.
2937
You may be experiencing a subconscious effort of your body trying to tell you to stop feeding it poison, or you made an ass of yourself. Or, since alcohol is a depressent, and guilt can be a result of a more depressed attitude, it really could be the alcohol. Take more vitamins to replace the ones you sapped, that could ease it... or don't drink alcohol. And yeah, I usually feel bad about drinking the next day 'cause it's bad for me and I make an ass out of myself.
612824
sometimes it's a matter of wanting to control your actions, sometimes it's because they don't know how else to communicate what they want--and they're afraid you're not even considering it.\n\nI absolutely loathe guilt trips. My family could staff a travel agency for guilt trips.\n\nHere's how I deal with it (which may not be your style, but it works for me):\n\nI'm very direct. I say, "y'know, it makes me feel badly that you say this & this will happen if I do this or that."  \n\nIn your case, I'd recommend opening up the channels of communication by saying, "Do you think I'm just going to stay away after I move out?" or "What are you afraid will happen if I move out?"\n\nYou can also try communicating like this:\n\nwhen you do/say ______, I feel______ because______________.\n\nthat's called an "I" message--it's not attacking or accusatory, it simply states how you feel about something.\n\nI believe most people don't set out to make others mad intentionally.  I think they just don't know how to communicate what they want without manipulating because they've never learned how.\n\nI suggest stepping back mentally.  \nDad's probably under some stress because Mom's dying--he may feel helpless and alone, and with you leaving....maybe it's just overwhelming to him, y'know?\n\nWhen people are worried or scared, they get edgy.\n\nYou can certainly move out and still visit and help. In fact, it'd probably be better for you, simply because you'll have your own space and can deal with things at your own pace and with no pressure.  \n\n:)
596202
I don't feel the need to forgive my children for anything. I don't think they do anything to personally hurt me. They do what they do for their own reasons. I am not one of those parents that think everything is about me. I remember what it was like being a child and I try to give them the space to learn their own lessons. I also try to remember how it felt to be on the receiving end of parents guilt and I don't guilt my kids. Even in grounding them we make it an open discussion. Since I am God I guess we are equal as loving parents. I know this Q wasn't put out for people like me more for those that think God is casting sinners into hell. I just like answering your questions.\nLove & Light\nSharon
544698
i understand...i cant forgive people easily...just try not to think of it as much
51974
people generally regret it and feel guilt
424760
Yea I noticed that and it makes me sick. Why ask a question if you don't want a real answer.  I guess some just do it so they can here what they want to hear not really interested in the truth just what to hear lies to make the feel better they don't really want help
344236
I think they  don't because they want something to fight against. It makes them feel like they are doing something with their lives that in reality they are not doing. They can't take the time to walk in another mans shoes to see that he is not so different.\nHere is a story.\nI work for a major Cable company and when the cable goes out you would think we just stole their first born. Really...\nNot to long ago in one of our cities the cable went off and we could not get if fixed. It not like we did not try. For three days nothing. People were forced to talk to their families.\nWe had one woman call in after it was on to say she wished we had been off longer. She said that she played with her family. Board games and walks in the park.\nAll because she had nothing to do.\nRight now my partner thinks that me being on here is a waste of time but she will play games for hours. I like to think that in some way I help people by giving a right answer.\nI can be happy knowing that I can. I have noticed that I turn off the TV more and do other things. I also think that getting along more has something to do with not only how someone was raised but how well educated they are. ( I know what I am saying, I am from the south) In school we are forced in to classes with all kinds of people and when they see that one person is not that different then they can think, maybe I am wrong about that group.\nI hope that answers your question
326912
Because they seem to get this crazy idea in mind that just because they've had you they own you. Going through the same with mine at the moment. I feel your pain. lol
356218
Guilt is not going to change your circumstance, it is going to add to your stress. Guilt is a disease. (best taught by religion) \n\nYou have to do what you have to do, and only you know what that is for sure. \n\nIt is there own problem if they cannot understand and accept what you are asking for. \n\nNo one should ever feel guilty. But that doesn't mean succumbing to there needs to rid yourself of guilt. That will make things worse and leave you open to being manipulated with guilt in the future.\n\n You are are responsible for your own happiness. They are responsible for theirs. \n\nIt sounds like this will just go on and on if you don't cut them off now and deal with it. Then, it may only take a short time to figure out. You won't know unless you do it.\n\nThey will have there own guilt to deal with for not giving you the space and freedom you required.
89567
It pleases me to no end that you feel better after sharing your problems....and thank you for ignoring the ones who have nothing better to do than be cruel....good for you that you are so positive! WE ALL HAVE OUR SHARE OF PROBLEMS--but at least you and I find solutions!!! Thank you for being so kind!!!
588247
I agree with the first two. It's been too long now anyway. All you would be doing it for now, is for your own sense of guilt, maybe.
239449
They are on a guilt trip from something they did in the past, and feel they deserve some punishment.
584126
Actually, i'd rather someone told me. So, what you are doing is simply trying to help me and you're also considering my goodness.. What's better than this? On the other side, yeah i may become a little bit angry with myself, saying like how can i forget or ignore this.. But, certainly i'd appreciate you then.. :) So, keep it up, be yourself and don't pay attention to their reactions at that time, i think...