I have one: I was talking to my kids (fifth grade) about current events and I asked, "What's the biggest threat facing America today?"  I had a student answer "George Bush."
199228
I'm not a teacher but I've got a few as a student.  Once, when I was in 7th grade, my english teacher Mrs. Salisbury (If you see this email me!! haha) Was teaching us about Huckelberry Finn.  And after reading I think it was the section where he tricks the other kids in to paying him to let them whitewash the fence, she stood up in front of the class (And mind you, she was a very prim and proper woman.) and says "Alrignt, now how did F*ck Hinn ...." and naturally stopped there as the entire class went into hysterics.  I don't think we got much accomplished after that for the rest of the day lol\n-Duo
289696
"The question is: IS our children learning?"\n\nNot if they're following your lead, Mr. President...
238285
once we've got this senior by the name of Fanny D!ck i'm not joking! i came across a parcel with a name mr.stickboner at the post office! when i was senior in high school,we've got this junior by the name of george bush!but he transfered just after a few weeks.hm..homeschool?haha.just guessing.peace out
514366
I grew up in Spotsylvania Va. 60 miles south of D.C. and I was living in Fredericksburg on 9/11 my Lawyers Husband was in the Pentagon E Ring,  half of his office died that day. My sons teacher's husband also died that day. A great number of people from that area work in the Pentagon. Mary Washington hospital is our local hospital and there were so many injured that our hospital was full too. They poisoned our mail and my neighbor died from anthrax poisoning. We couldn't drive on the streets and all things were closed malls, places to eat, nothing open. We were scared and I will never forget that time, terror is real!
573064
When I was in grade 9, I had a teacher that coudn't go 2 days without blowing something up, setting something of fire, or distroying something. In the year that I had him, he ended up setting the roof of the classroom on fire, setting his pants on fire, setting his hand on fire, setting his desk on fire, setting my desk on fire, setting my text book on fire (I had a front row seat, how it worked out alphabetically), he fired a bottle rocket off in the class room, he would through white board markers at people, he through a chair at me, with the "egg drop" project, just dropping the egg wasn't good enough so they were fired up in the air using bottle rockets, that is just a small list, and after all the damage he did to the school/students/himself, he still won the Pan Canadian Student Choice Awards, and now he's an assistant principal.
128850
wow! that was crazy!!!!! i had a kid in my 3rd grade class named sebastian, he was a troublemaker and he moved....maybe he moved there!
368945
Reporter: sir, are you aware that 3 Brazilian troops were killed in Iraq yesterday?\nBush: WHAT!? Oh that's terrible how horrible...\nReporter: Sir?\nBush: What?\nReporter: Only 3 Brazilian troops were killed\nBush: well how many is in a Brazilian\n\nAlso\n\nReporter: Mr. President! Do you wear boxers or briefs?\nBush: Depends\n\nand these top ten Bushisms\n\n10) "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 \n\n9) "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000\n\n8) "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." —second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004 \n\n7) "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000 \n\n6) "You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." —to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005 \n\n5) "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 \n\n4) "They misunderestimated me." —Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000\n\n3) "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" —Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000\n\n2) "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 \n\n1) "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002\n\nalso love the song parody\nI'm george dubya bush: leader of the free world\nI wanna bomb Iraq and when the world says no I say\nWHATEVA\n'cause this is my united states of WHATEVA\nand this is my united states of whateva\nand this is my united states of WHATEVA\nI talked to collen powel he said "sir maybe we should give the inspectors more time." I said no you know why?\n'cause this is my united states of WHATEVA\nand this is my united states of whateva\nand this is my united states of WHATEVA\n*beep**beep*\nHello?\nthis is Poten, Russia will veto war\nhmm I see... *click*WHATEVA\n'cause this is my united states of WHATEVA\nand this is my united states of whateva\nand this is my united states of WHATEVA\n*beep**beep*\nHello? \nThis is Binladden, You have not caught me yet.\nYou know what the Dubya stands for? Yet..\n'cause this is my united states of WHATEVA\nand this is my united states of whateva\nand this is my united states of WHATEVA\nSir, Korea's got nucs\nOh... tong tang ting tang tong. Translation: WHATEVA\n'cause this is my united states of WHATEVA\nand this is my united states of whateva\nand this is my united states of WHATEVA\n'cause this is my united states of WHATEVA\nand this is my united states of whateva\nand this is my united states of WHATEVA
108436
aglets ....I hate it when my kids ask a question I can't answer!!
422527
Hey hey LBJ,  how many kids did you kill today?  It sounds like the same people running this one ran Vietnam.  Bush is not there to prevent disorder,but to  preserve it.  All so the plunder can continue while our military are security police for Halliburton and whatever other agents are there carrying out the plunder.  And don't forget we threw Afghanistan in as well.  Tell it like it is.  It does not exceed Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but it is right up there on the scaremeter.  Well done!
21848
In eighthgrade my history teacher compared Bush to Polk, they are the same in a lot of ways (that wa last year, I'm in 9th grade, and for some stupid reason 9th graders don't take history we take he stupidest class ever, Life Skills, in which you learnabsolutely nothing,instead). I don't know which is worse, and although I wish Bush would get impeached I doubt he will.
487248
I have two! \nThis guy died and went to heven, he meet Peter, who gave him a piece of chalk, "Before you can go thourgh the gates, you have to write all your sins on the chalk board so they can be wiped clean" he was told, so he went to find a chalk board\nOn the way he ran into Bush, "You done yet?" he asked Bush, "Yep! See ya on the other side". The man contiued on his way.\nsoon after,he meet Kerry, "Wow!" the man exclaimed, "Surprised to see you here" "Me too." Kerry answered, "Are you done yet?" The man asked Kerry, "No, not yet, I need to get more chalk"\n\nNext one!\n\nA guy dided and went to Hevaen, when there he saw a bunch of clocks, he asked Peter what the were, "Evertime someone sins, thier clock hand gos around one time," next the guy asked where John Kerry's clock was, "Oh thats in my room, I used it as a fan"
180105
Yes i have lost faith in the American education system by reading some of these questions. When i went to school during the mid 70s Thur the 80s they taught you how to spell and proper grammar.I do not know how some of these young kids make it through college, because they must write reports with proper spelling and grammar. Sigh, they are going to be our future leaders.
33867
There are so many, it's hard to know where to start.  I guess I'd have to go with:\n\n"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" —Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000
532591
yea, great idea, oh yea what are you doing about being under threat.  funny us dumb american knows more about your country than you do..\n\nTony Blair today backed the assessment of the head of MI5 that the "very real" threat from terrorism would last a generation.\nIn a rare public speech yesterday, Dame Eliza Manningham-Buller, director general of the intelligence agency, expressed concern at the rate at which young people, including teenagers, were being radicalised and indoctrinated.\n\nShe said MI5 was tracking more than 1,600 individuals who were actively engaged in promoting attacks here and abroad. Many of these were British-born and had connections with al-Qaida, she said.\n\nResponding to her comments that the threat would "be with us for a generation", the prime minister said today Britain faced a "long and deep struggle" to combat the danger posed by terrorism.
137720
My first year I taught first grade and I had a wonderful class.  I remember the last day of school.  I had a surprise for my students.  I told my class that I would be teaching second grade the following year and that some of them would be in my class.  I remember crying before my kids left because after all it was my first year teaching and I knew some will be in another class.  My memorable moment came at the end of that second year because more than half of that class had been with me for 2 whole years, and my first two years of teaching at that.  I was going around the class and asking students to share stories about the last two years.  Some said they would remember how I always turned red when I laughed, some said they would remember hearing the radio every morning as they walked in (I would sometimes forget to turn it on) some said they would remember the christmas parties and we just shared memories.  One particular student, who never displayed any emotions had his head down the whole time.  I just figured he was bored by the whole thing since he was like the little typical "macho" kid in the class.  When I got to him, I said Frankie, what will you remember.  When he finally looked at me he had been crying the whole time because he realized that after two years of being his teacher he would be moving on.  I was floored and all I could do was cry too.  Then, well needless to say the waterworks started and half of my class was crying.  I would never forget that because as he was leaving, Frankie said, you are the best teacher I've ever had.  I knew he had meant it.
431081
that is funny bc just today, i asked my teacher if she was a repub or  demo. and she said she voted by person. i thought that is becoming more common to judge by individual beliefs instead of party, but then she said that she voted for george bush bc he was cuter than kerry. that threw me off!!!
22806
If you ask Bush he will say "Because God wants me to be president."  If you ask me, I think people were afraid to change the guard because of the war.  Basically, the American public said: hey, you guys messed up with this war thing but why don't you try and finish it anyway.  I am still shocked.