cracked me up\n_______________________________________________________\n\nThis is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little! \n\nOnce upon a time\n~~~~~~~~ \nin a land far away, \n~~~~~~~~ \na beautiful, independent, \n~~~~~~~~ \nself-assured princess \n~~~~~~~~ \nhappened upon a frog as she sat \n~~~~~~~~ \ncontemplating ecological issues \n~~~~~~~~ \non the shores of an unpolluted pond \n~~~~~~~~ \nin a verdant meadow near her castle. \n~~~~~~~~ \n\nThe frog hopped into the princess' lap \n~~~~~~~~ \nand said: " Elegant Lady, \n~~~~~~~~ \nI was once a handsome prince, \n~~~~~~~~ \nuntil an evil witch cast a spell upon me. \n~~~~~~~~ \n\nOne kiss from you, however, \n~~~~~~~~ \nand I will turn back \n~~~~~~~~ \ninto the dapper, young prince that I am \n~~~~~~~~ \nand then, my sweet, we can marry \n~~~~~~~~ \nand set up housekeeping in your castle \n~~~~~~~~ \nwith my mother, \n~~~~~~~~ \nwhere you can prepare my meals, \n~~~~~~~~ \nclean my clothes, bear my children, \n~~~~~~~~ \nand forever feel \n~~~~~~~~ \ngrateful and happy doing so. " \n~~~~~~~~ \n\nThat night, \n~~~~~~~~ \nas the princess dined sumptuously \n~~~~~~~~ \non lightly sauteed frog legs \n~~~~~~~~ \nseasoned in a white wine \n~~~~~~~ \nand onion cream sauce, \n~~~~~~~~ \nshe chuckled and thought to herself: \n~~~~~~~~ \nI don't freakin think so. \n \nDEFINITELY MY KIND OF FAIRY TALE
212740
Very cool!  I love the irony in it!  Best not to mess with that Princess!
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wanted:\nA tall well-built woman with good\nreputation, who can cook frogs\nlegs, who appreciates a good fuc-\nschia garden, classical music and tal-\nking without getting too serious.\nBut please only read lines 1,3 and 5.\n\nPS-i didnt write this myself i got it off the internet isnt it funny!!!!:)
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I was tired of my lady, we'd been together too long.\nLike a worn-out recording, of a favorite song.\nSo while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed.\nAnd in the personals column, there was this letter I read:\n\n"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.\nIf you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.\nIf you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.\nI'm the lady you've looked for, write to me, and escape."\n\nI didn't think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean.\nBut me and my old lady, had fallen into the same old dull routine.\nSo I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad.\nAnd though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half-bad.\n\n"Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.\nI'm not much into health food, I am into champagne.\nI've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape.\nAt a bar called O'Malley's, where we'll plan our escape."\n\nSo I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place.\nI knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face.\nIt was my own lovely lady, and she said, "Oh, it's you."\nAnd we laughed for a moment, and I said, "I never knew"..\n\n"That you liked Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.\nAnd the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne.\nIf you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.\nYou're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."\n\n"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.\nIf you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.\nIf you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.\nYou're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."
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Sally Goes to Sea  \n\n\nSally Malloy jumped for joy,\nWhen she saw Roy the sailor boy,\n"Ahoy", said Roy, "Ahoy, ahoy"\nCome sail with me and Lord Fauntleroy.\n\nNow Sally was not a"sailor goy'l,\nLike Popeye the sailor's Olive Oyl,\nShe lived on a farm and hoed the soil,\nAnd baked sweet yams in aluminum foil.\n\nBut Sally thought that she might enjoy,\nA day on the sea with with sailor Roy,\nSo she brought for lunch some boiled bok choy,\nAnd went to sea, ahoy, ahoy.\n\nWhen Sally  and Roy were well afloat,\nOn rolling seas in a bright red boat,\nLord Fauntleroy,(  I have to note),\nHad brought on board a billy goat!\n\nNow Fauntleroy was an English royal,\nTrue to his word and always loyal, \nBut today he was quite an annoying boy,\nHe fed the goat the boiled bok choy.\n\n"Oh no!", said Sally, our lunch is spoiled,\n"Do you know just how hard I toiled?"\nCooking tofu (which is made of soy),\nThen boiling ten quarts of green bok choy?\n\nSo she poured the bucket of green bok choy,\nOver the head of Lord Fauntleroy,\nThen she marched the billy goat and the Lord,\nAnd pushed the two of them overboard.\n\nThe last we saw them ahoy, ahoy\nThe goat was dragging Lord Fauntleroy,\nThey finally reached land and jumped for joy,\nThe goat was still chewing, green bok choy.\n\nSo that 's the story of Sally Malloy,\nWho went to sea with sailor Roy \nAnd a billy goat and Lord Fauntleroy,\nFor you and your friends to all enjoy.\n\n I made this up just for you.   Hope you can use it.
323967
well, if u wrote it, CONGRAGULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, if not i think this is just a ordinary poem, probably written to impress a lady or something. I have a friend who published poems, and this poem would be an B- or 7.5/10 grade, which would not make it to the poem industry. But as I said, this poem has a lot of rich text that is exceptionally enriching. It takes great skill to write that, and that is why we are not all writers.
388005
hahaha......I wanted not to read this joke, since, it is captioned for the lady's. Just because, it is from the Hedgehog, I read it........\n\nA clean and cute joke.........just keep hogging.........lol
343688
Very nice...you little romantic.......a poem or a song?\n\nYou wrote this....I love it!!!!!
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This is actually 60 lines (ten stanzas, six lines each), but I "fixed" it so you can read it better. Good luck!\nThe link has the actual stanzas in original form.\n\nCurfew Must Not Ring Tonight\n\nRose Hartwick Thorpe\n\nSlowly England's sun was setting \no'er the hilltops far away,\nFilling all the land with beauty \nat the close of one sad day;\nAnd its last rays kissed the forehead \nof a man and maiden fair --\nHe with steps so slow and weary; \nshe with sunny, floating hair;\nHe with bowed head, sad and thoughtful, \nshe, with lips all cold and white,\nStruggling to keep back the murmur, \n"Curfew must not ring tonight!"\n\n\n"Sexton," Bessie's white lips faltered, \npointing to the prison old,\nWith its walls tall and gloomy, \nmoss-grown walls dark, damp and cold --\n"I've a lover in the prison, \ndoomed this very night to die\nAt the ringing of the curfew, \nand no earthly help is nigh.\nCromwell will not come till sunset;" \nand her lips grew strangely white,\nAs she spoke in husky whispers, \n"Curfew must not ring tonight!"\n\n\n"Bessie," calmly spoke the sexton \n(every word pierced her young heart\nLike a gleaming death-winged arrow, \nlike a deadly poisoned dart),\n"Long, long years I've rung the curfew \nfrom that gloomy, shadowed tower;\nEvery evening, just at sunset, \nit has tolled the twilight hour.\nI have done my duty ever, \ntried to do it just and right:\nNow I'm old, I will not miss it. \nCurfew bell must ring tonight!"\n\n\nWild her eyes and pale her features, \nstern and white her thoughtful brow,\nAs within her secret bosom, \nBessie made a solemn vow.\nShe had listened while the judges read, \nwithout a tear or sigh,\n"At the ringing of the curfew, \nBasil Underwood must die."\nAnd her breath came fast and faster, \nand her eyes grew large and bright;\nOne low murmur, faintly spoken. \n"Curfew must not ring tonight!"\n\n\nShe with quick step bounded forward, \nsprang within the old church-door,\nLeft the old man coming slowly, \npaths he'd trod so oft before.\nNot one moment paused the maiden, \nBut with eye and cheek aglow,\nStaggered up the gloomy tower, \nWhere the bell swung to and fro;\nAs she climbed the slimy ladder, \nOn which fell no ray of light,\nUpward still, her pale lips saying, \n"Curfew shall not ring tonight!"\n\n\nShe has reached the topmost ladder, \no'er her hangs the great dark bell;\nAwful is the gloom beneath her, \nlike the pathway down to hell.\nSee! the ponderous tongue is swinging; \n'tis the hour of curfew now,\nAnd the sight has chilled her bosom, \nstopped her breath, and paled her brow.\nShall she let it ring? No, never! \nHer eyes flash with sudden light,\nAs she springs, and grasps it firmly: \n"Curfew shall not ring tonight!"\n\n\nOut she swung -- far out. The city \nSeemed a speck of light below --\nThere twixt heaven and earth suspended, \nAs the bell swung to and fro.\nAnd the sexton at the bell-rope, \nold and deaf, heard not the bell,\nSadly thought that twilight curfew \nrang young Basil's funeral knell.\nStill the maiden, clinging firmly, \nquivering lip and fair face white,\nStilled her frightened heart's wild throbbing: \n"Curfew shall not ring tonight!"\n\n\nIt was o'er, the bell ceased swaying; \nand the maiden stepped once more\nFirmly on the damp old ladder, \nwhere, for hundred years before,\nHuman foot had not been planted. \nThe brave deed that she had done\nShould be told long ages after. \nAs the rays of setting sun\nLight the sky with golden beauty, \naged sires, with heads of white,\nTell the children why the curfew \ndid not ring that one sad night.\n\n\nO'er the distant hills comes Cromwell. \nBessie sees him; and her brow,\nLately white with sickening horror, \nhas no anxious traces now.\nAt his feet she tells her story, \nshows her hands, all bruised and torn;\nAnd her swee
117314
How do you laugh in any language after you read this letter?\n\nHere it goes:\n\nDear Billy Bob,\nI'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast.\nWe don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read the paper that most accidents happen within 20mi. from home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.\n\nThe coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off put them in the pockets.\n\nThree of your friends went off the bridge in pickup. One of them survived, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned they couldn't get the tailgate down.\n\nNot much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, pls let me know and i will send another one.\n\nLove, Ma
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I almost gave birth too a litter of kittens when I read this.\n\nWay WAY too funny. Thanks.\n\nIt has ***got*** too be grand too have your wife write out a script in whitch you get too beat the ever loven dog cr4p out of your father in law so very often. I would ***dearly*** love too go too the McMahon residence for Thanksgiving dinner one year.\n\n"Yeah, but did you have too hit me so ***hard*** with that chair shot?"\n\n"Look. It was in the script! What could I do?"\n\n"Yeah Daddy! And your peas are gonna get cold!"\n\nThanx for that.
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its a beautiful poem\n10/10\nyou have a talent my darling\npursue it!\n\n\nStay Hungry, Stay Foolish
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I wanted to help so badly, but I can't find it. I searched for about 30 minutes. I Found a great site though. It tranlates poems into English. I will tell you if I find it.  P.S. when I originally searched the poem and went to the site a poem came up but it was blurry and it was in the Greece catagory.\n\nGood Luck,\n          Chelsea\n\n\n\nI updated my comment so that I could give you the English translation to singlesockcollectors poem: here it is\n\n\n\nLeaf turns brown fall, you have just flown away yourself, branch patronizes, you want to separate yourself.  This life source, that\nformerly nourished you, Asserted, embellished, nevertheless is not dried up!  \n\nAs a burning love, in violent pushed, This velvets nectar knew to stuff you.  This tree, that has you it does?  You in has you it too given?  Of a too perfect love would have you it flooded?  \n\nThe life that climbs in him, and cannot flow itself, NEEDS this puit, where she can s’épancher itself.  The vigor of the summer,\nwhere you puisas the joy OF A delighted happiness, the abandons without you.  \n\nSmall leaf turns brown, where go you to put yourself?  Will rejoin you foam it and his cold dew?  Do not go you to take mourning, in the frozen earth, With of other feuillées, that already are\nwithered.  \n\nDauphine 30/08/2004\n\nCheck the site
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he may not be prince charming to you. but he is to me.\n\n++ [H O L D] my hand && {never} let go.\n\n&& you know that when he stares\nat you for longer than a second hes thinking about you\n\n& i keep on going back to the one thing i need to get away from.\n\n& sometimes it's those days you wish you had a boyfriend\nto cuddle with, hold hands, kiss, tell him everything\n\nYou only have 3 choices when it comes to love \ngive up // give in // give it yer all \nyou decide - which ones -worth it.\n\nMost people say,\n"You mean the world to me."\nBut the world means\nnothing to me compared to you.\n\nyou will never know how it feels to have\nthe one person who means everything to you,\nmake you feel like you're nothing <|3\n\njust when youu least expect it \nyouu start to picture yourself\nwith him & youu think about\nthe way he makes youu happy\n& youu see how it all makes \nsense. & youu realize youu \ncare about him a lot more \nthan youu think x|3. _____\n\nBasically i just wanna be the girl he gives his hoodie to wear\n& cuddles up next to me when its cold;\ni want him to come up behind me \n& wrap his arms around my waist catch me off guard \n&& whisper; " you look beautiful. \n\nI want the kinda guy who i can run to with tears running down my face, make up smeared and the first thing he says is "Whose ass am i kicking?"\n\nThe way I feel about you is something I can't explain, the way i react when i hear your name..love is insane.\n\nOur teacher told us to highlight anything we want, so I went up and highlighted you.\n\nLove is only a chapter in a guy's life; but to a girl, it's the whole book.\n\neverything you say\nis perfect.\nevery move you make\nis smooth.\nevery single breath\nyou take.\ni need you to know\ni adore you.\n\nhold up.\nwait a minute.\nput a little\n>LOVE.IN.IT<\n\nSweep me off my {feet}\nMake my heart skip a {beat}\nBaby, never let me go,\nOh, I love you so\n\n&&I want a boy who would hold my hand in \nline at the mall & make all the girls jealous.\nI want someone who would sing to me at random moments. \nSomeone who is more goofy than romantic. \nA boy who would throw stuffed \nanimals at me when I'm acting dumb. \nSomeone who would bet me kisses that he \ncould beat me at all the old play station games \nand then let me win. A guy who would make\nfun of me just to hear my laugh.\nHe'd play with my hair all the time\n& surprise me with 25 cent rings. \nSomeone who I could share lollipops with &\nlay on a blanket with to count the stars. \nWe'd buy tons of disposable cameras to\ntake the silliest pictures of each other\n& squirt water guns at each other in the house. \nBut mostly ; some who would be my best friend \n& would never break my heart. \nHe would just always make me smile.\n\nit's amazing how all you say is hey\nand i'm right back into the palm of your hand <3\n\nboy, you give love a bad name.\n\nI don't want just anyone to hold\nI don't want my love to go to waste\nI want you and your beautiful soul\nYou're the one I wanna chase\nYou're the one I wanna hold\nI wont let another minute go to waste\nI want you and your beautiful soul\n\nThat thing you do \nMakes me lose control \nCause I'm crushin you \nCause today and forever \nI'll be loving you \n\n& that hug you gave me was ever so sweet, \ni wanted to stay there forever. <3\n\n\nlove will find a way\n\nthere's only one way \nto love.... take it.\n\n\nbasically,I just want to be the girl\nhe gives his hoodie to wear \n& cuddles up next to when its cold, \nI want him to come up behind me \nwrap his arms around my waist \ncatch me off gaurd & whisper "you look \nbeautiful"\n\n \n\nevery girl wants a boy who will\ndaydream about her in class, & when\nthe teacher yells at him to pay attention\nhe looks over and mouths the words\n" i love you "\n\nw.o.r.d.s can never \ntear us a.p.a.r.t\n\nit's a missing emotion\na mis
310779
I love your poem.  It's very, very deep.  Keep it up! =)\n\np.s.\nDon't worry about grammatical mistakes.  No such thing when you're writing what you're feeling! =)
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Oh Bird of paper!\nEagle of the children.\nWith the pens of letters,\nwithout a dove\nand without nest.\n\nThe hands still wet of mystery\nthey create to you in a cold\nto grow dark of autumn, when they die\nthe birds and the noise\nof rain it makes us love the lamp,\nthe heart and the book.\n\nYou are born to live minutes\nin the fragile castle\nof naipes that rises trembly\nas the stem of an iris.\nand you meditate there blinds and without wings\nthat you could have been\nthe grotesco athlete who smiles\nhanged person by a thread,\nthe quiet boat without rowers nor sails,\nthe lírico\nghost ship of the miedoso insect,\nor the sad donkey\nthat they escarnecen, making it the Pegaso,\nthe blowings of the children.\n\nBut in the middle of your meditation\ndrops of humorismo go.\nDone with the crust of science\nyou ***reflx mng yourself of Destino,\nand outcries: "White Flower never dies,\nnor Luisito dies.\nThe morning is eternal, is eternal\nthe source of the dew "\n\nAnd although you do not believe in anything you say this,\nthe children do not find out\nof which there is shade behind stars\nand it shades in your castle.\n\nIn the middle of the table, when collapsing\nyour blue mansion, you have seen\nthat the milano watches to you anxiously:\n"new born.\na foam pomp on the water\nof the alive suffering "\n\nAnd you go to his luminous lips\nwhile the children laugh,\nand the papas shut up, do not awake\nthe neighboring pains.\n\nThus bird clown you disappear\nin order to be born elsewhere.\nThus bird esfinge gives your soul\nof bird fénix to the limb.
228549
From fairest creatures we desire increase,\nThat thereby beauty's rose might never die,\nBut as the riper should by time decease,\nHis tender heir might bear his memory:\nBut thou contracted to thine own bright eyes,\nFeed'st thy light's flame with self-substantial fuel,\nMaking a famine where abundance lies,\nThy self thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel:\nThou that art now the world's fresh ornament,\nAnd only herald to the gaudy spring,\nWithin thine own bud buriest thy content,\nAnd, tender churl, mak'st waste in niggarding:\nPity the world, or else this glutton be,\nTo eat the world's due, by the grave and thee.\n\n\nQuestionable it may be,\nat least be thankful\nyou don't read the poet from Dundee!\n\n\nBeautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay!\nAlas! I am very sorry to say\nThat ninety lives have been taken away\nOn the last Sabbath day of 1879,\nWhich will be remember'd for a very long time.\n\n'Twas about seven o'clock at night,\nAnd the wind it blew with all its might,\nAnd the rain came pouring down,\nAnd the dark clods seem'd to frown,\nAnd the Demon of the air seem'd to say-\n"I'll blow down the Bridge of Tay."\n\nWhen the train left Edinburgh\nThe passengers' hearts were light and felt no sorrow,\nBut Boreas blew a terrific gale,\nWhich made their hearts for to quail,\nAnd many of the passengers with fear did say-\n"I hope God will send us safe across the Bridge of Tay."\n\nBut when the train came near to Wormit Bay,\nBoreas he did loud and angry bray,\nAnd shook the central girders of the Bridge of Tay\nOn the last Sabbath day of 1879,\nWhich will be remember'd for a very long time.\n\nSo the train sped on with all its might,\nAnd Bonnie Dundee soon hove in sught,\nAnd the passengers' hearts felt light,\nThinking they would enjoy themselves on the New Year,\nWith their friends at home they lov'd most dear,\nAnd wish them all a happy New Year.\n\nSo the train mov'd slowly along the Bridge of Tay,\nUntil it was about midway,\nThen the central girders with a crash gave way,\nAnd down went the train and passengers into the Tay!\nThe Storm Fiend did loudly bray,\nBecause ninety lives had been taken away,\nOn the last Sabbath day of 1879,\nWhich will be remember'd for a very long time.\n\nAs soon as the catastrophe came to be known\nThe alarm from mouth to mouth was blown,\nAnd the cry rang out all o'er the town,\nGood Heavens! the Tay Bridge is blown down,\nAnd a passenger train from Edinburgh,\nWhich fill'd all the peoples hearts with sorrow,\nAnd made them for to turn pale,\nBecause none of the passengers were sav'd to tell the tale\nHow the disaster happen'd on the last Sabbath day of 1879,\nWhich will be remember'd for a very long time.\n\nIt must have been an awful sight,\nTo witness in the dusky moonlight,\nWhile the Storm Fiend did laugh, and angry did bray,\nAlong the Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay,\nOh! ill-fated Bridge of thSilv'ry Tay,\nI must now conclude my lay\nBy telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,\nThat your central girders would not have given way,\nAt least many sensible men do say,\nHad they been supported on each side with buttresses,\nAt least many sensible men confesses,\nFor the stronger we our houses do build,\nThe less chance we have of being killed.\n\n\nEnjoy!
642531
story from the little box:-\n\nIt's meaningful....\n\nOnce upon a time, there was a teacher and his student\nlying down under a big tree near a big grass area.\nThen, suddenly, the student asked the teacher,\n\nStudent : Teacher, I'm confused, how can we find our soul-mate?\nCould you please help me?\n\nTeacher : (Silent for few second, than he answered)\n\nWell, it's a pretty hard and easy question.\n\nStudent : (Thinking hard) Huh???\n\nTeacher : Look on that way, there are a lot of grass\nthere, why don't you walk there but please never walk\nbackward, just walk straight ahead. On your way, try\nto find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me. But just one.\n\nStudent : Well, ok then... wait for me... (walked straight ahead to the grass field).\n\nA few minutes later...\n\nStudent : I'm back.\n\nTeacher : Em, well I don't see any beautiful grass on your hand\n\nStudent : On my journey, I found few beautiful grass,\nbut I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn't pick it up.\nBut I didn't realize that I'm at the end of the field, and I hadn't\npicked up any. Because you told me not to go back, so I didn't go\nback.\n\nTeacher : That's what happened in real life.\n\nWhat is the message of this story?\n\n* Grass - is people around you\n* Beautiful Grass - is people that attract you\n* Grass Field - is time\n* In looking for your soulmate, please don't always\ncompare and hope that there will be a better one. By\ndoing that, you'll waste your lifetime, cause remember..\n\n"Time Never Goes Back".\n\nIt applies the same in finding your ideal life\npartner, your suitable career or business, therefore\nthe morale is LOVE & grab hold of the opportunity\nthat you have now, don't waste time!