He moved hundreds of miles to be with me.  Before he moved up, he had sex with another woman.  This was almost a year ago, and we had not talked about being monogomaus, but we had exchanged "i love you"s.. this incident is the only thing that I hesitate about marrying him.  Am I holding on to something to long?
201885
People make mistakes. If this is still bothering you after a year of being together then you should talk to him about it. Express your feelings and concerns. If you don't feel comfortable talking to him now about your concerns do you think this will change after you're married?\n\nI'm not saying you should or shouldn't forgive him. That's up to you. I do think you should talk to him about it.
644145
would you believ the same thing has just happend to me. bout 4 months ago i ran into this guy i went to school with and we started chatting and i got his number. later in the week i got a msg from him and we were talking about school and how we were friends and how i used to really like him. he then replied that he liked me and wish he had relised what he had missed out on in school and he should have hooked up with me.\nwe continued to msg each other and after a week he said that he still had feelings for me. the only problem with the whole situation is i met another guy and now im engaged, i got so confused on what to do but he still says now that he really likes me and i should leave the other guy. of course im not.\nAnyway the point to all this is yes there is a chance for you both as long as neither of you are in a relationship. a way to find out is by saying that you used to like him and find out where you stand with him. invite him out for dinner or a movie or something and try and spend time with him. you will soon know if he likes you or not.\nGood luck and hope this helps
635761
Sometimes you gotta go with your heart... he may be getting cold feet (at the mention of marriage) especially if he was a quote/unquote  "player" before devoting himself to a relationship with you... sometimes the hardest thing is to think "is this the one?" The risk is in the leap of faith you take, by making the vows and all... will you really love him for the rest of your life?, visa versa on his part... sometimes open lines of communication is key... keep your head up girl! maybe he just needs some time to think about his place in this... talk about things then let it go... dwelling on it will only make things become ackwardly annoying to each of you.,..say whats on your mind let him say his piece, then go on to daily routine...
106987
I've totally been there. It sounds weird to people that haven't, but it takes some getting used to. Don't think he's weak, or trying to trick you...just appreciate & enjoy it. What did I do? Well I married him!
460081
Wow, a good question, with only my esteem and somewhat shame to uphold.\n\nHere goes.\n\nI loved "that guy" once.  And though I would have given him anything under the sun, including honesty, manogomy and love....in my deep caring for him I also had to give him space.  I had to honor his present situation(as hard as that was) and told him I didn't intend on being "the other woman" only to one realize I WAS.  I respected what ever he wanted and only wanted him to be happy.\n\nI then stopped talking to him, and put on my Captain Avoido outfit and a woderful thing happened.  He figured his life out, honestly with out any obstacles and called me about a year later and asked for a date.   Go figure.  It was ONLY then that he could hold me with esteem that he once carried for his previous love.\n\nThere should be no pressure............if she really cares.
204883
I did it...8 years ago.  We've been married for the last 7!!!  So, it's ok.  BUT know that once you cross that line, there will be no going back to "the way things were" as friends.  So decide if you like him enough to risk a good friendship before you make your move.  Maybe think about it for awhile before you decide...even if you think you're really, really sure.
284032
My personal philosophy has always been to jump in the water whole body, that way you get used to the cold faster.  I met my now husband and new I loved him before we ever dated.  We were married less than 6 weeks into our relationship and are still just as in love as we were then, 2 years into it.  I think sometimes people take too long to try to get to know each other and then if they do get married they have too much baggage from single life.  I say just jump in, if you heart gets broken, don't worry there is a towel just over there to dry yourself and your eyes and the towel boys kinda cute too, huh.  Best wishes
313002
try to remember...did u both have commitments???....\nu both might not have a serious realtionship b4, coz i get an impression that he didnt care at all with ur feelings or he might not realise that u expected him to take the next step with you...\nfor me...its impossible if you have a serious relationship without having any contacts for such a long period !!! dosnt make my sense at all...im in a long distance realtionship now, and get suffer if get no contact even for hald of a day!!!! and he wont get taking any girls to get married so easy if he thought that he has you in his heart, i bet he'll feel that he would cheating on you even if he just went out with other girls for fun!!! he'll get guilty feeling..trust me! so..if he get married, i could say that he had a very serious relationship with this woman and ..sorry to say...i thought he never considered you as his serious one...\nits time for you to move on...he's not the only one...goodluck!!:)
457421
It does sound like you are on a way relationship headed to nowheresville.  I think you should leave.  If he came right out and told you he's not going to marry you why stay?  He's not your last chance for love, there are plenty of men out there, do sell yourself short.
651960
Did I ever....had a friend that I wanted as more than a friend.  My friend moved out of state,  and we kept in touch my telephone for about two years.  Through a couple more moves on his part and some on mine,  we lost touch, for three yrs.  I connected with a  friend of his and found out he'd be in town,  so we made plans to see one another,  only to have a blizzard cancel plans,  he flew out of town the next morning.  When he got home,  he told me on the phone that he'd been in love with me for the last five years or more.  Time goes by,  we lose connection again,  but for FIVE years this time.  We've now been reconnected by phone and internet for about four or five years.  He begs me to move accross the country with him (even with my five kids, lol, he must have it bad, huh??lol).  I told him he should've said something while he lived here,  but he thinks I should've been the one to say it.  Just one of those things that makes ya wonder????What if????  The bad thing about missing the chance,  is that I know we would've been perfect for eachother.  The good thing is that I am in a happy marriage with five wonderful children.  Regretfully,  there's just no way to ever know,  leaving me with more "wonder" than I really care to have sometimes.
212078
you definitely should. isn't it time that the both of you made another step toward the ultimate commitment to each other? you have been together this long and have already talked about getting married. i think you should do it. god bless both of you.
407363
Well, he left you five weeks ago and he is married now. Its none of your business what his wife thinks, or whether or not they are going to be happy together. Sorry, just being honest.\n-NmD!
319374
wow...I'm in the EXACT same position. I could've asked this question because I'm going through the same thing. I've been absolutely infatuated with this guy and don't know what I will do once he leaves. It's so difficult but the best way to get through it is to find another guy. It sounds much easier than it really is because no one compares to "him."
268808
sounds like a great guy. if you feel like you definatly want more then that give it a shot. i have been in your situation to the  point my parents even call him their surragate son and i'll tell you what he confessed how much he loved me after it was too late. now after marrying others and kids we will never be able to go back to that first innocent love we once had for each other.
160756
I'm not sure what the situation is for you. To me it was just a piece of paper too. Not because it meant anything about commitment but because I always felt it in my heart. Regardless I was willing to go through with it. Then we get divorced and theat piece of paper meant nothing. He's been burned twice before so he's been hurt and probably bad. Maybe you should come at it as the direction that you want the ceremony because it will make you feel good and see how it goes from there.
245458
I don't mean to sound disrespectful but... I think it's time to move on.I would say otherwise if he wasn't married but going after another womans husband is wrong and not only that but if you did get to have sex with him again it wouldn't satisfy you only make you want more than a sexual relationship. It obviously wasn't meant to be so getcha grove on girl there are lots of guys that probably would love to go out with you, ya just gotta be patient.
664387
whats wrong with this picture? 1st of all, what is a "sex friend" relationship?? 2nd of all, you know he has "random sex" with a "few girls"and thats cool with u?...whats up with that?  3rd,  I wouldn't get my hopes up too much just because you spent a little QT around his parents. that doesn't mean as much to him as it means to you. 4th you are falling right into his game to keep you sprung! this dude is saying and doing all the right things to keep you around. lets see: free sex, no commitment (marriage), willing to accept me seeing other women, and pretty, what man wouldn't take you up on that offer?    \n\nto answer your question yes he has feelings for you.\nits impossible to have sex with someone over an extended period of time and not develop feelings for that person.\n\nsex is very powerful, it was designed to take place between husband and wife to make the marriage bond stronger. you are actually becoming one with that person when you are having sex. why do you think it hurts so much when you break up with someone after you have had sex with them?  it's not natural to try to have sex without getting emotionally attached...\n\ndoes he have feelings yes, now is he looking at you as a potential mate/wife? no, a man will let a freak be a freak but when he gets serious about a relationship he will look for a woman that has standards and some respect for herself.