my b/f has sarted back at the beginning of the year and he seems really distant and we quarrel quite a lot now but he says he it can be very mentally and physically draining and i cant understand.\nHelp Guys Cyclist if possible
201617
I can kind of relate to how he feels.  It does take a lot of focus to seriously train.  I used to ride in endurance events where the goal was completion within a certain time frame.  Not races, except against myself.  I had to take some time off because of an injury.  I wasn't a professional but it was still difficult for me and my relationship.  I just recently started back cycling.  \n\nIt is frustrating for me because I have gained weight, which really slows me down in speed and distance.  At the same time, I'm just so happy to be back riding.\n\nIn my opinion the biggest problem with relationships and cycling is the time away from the relationship that is necessitated by training.  The next biggest is fatigue.  You ride a lot then you want to come home and rest.  If you can work out some sort of compromise it will probably help you both in the long run.   \n\nSpeaking from personal exprience, cyclist take a lot of their self-esteem from how well they ride.  If he's not be riding, and now he's not riding as well as he used to, his self-esteem is probably taking a real beating. \n\nThis may not apply to your b/f, but hopefully it will give you a place to start a meaningful conversation.\n\nGood luck.
117964
I can totally understand how you must be feeling. Like you, i would definetly drop a few hints here and there.. but it seems he isnt responding, so that leaves to no choice but to leave it alone. Early April, i would present it to him again,in the most straightforward of ways and we would HAVE to at the very least, talk about why he isnt talking about any of it.\nBest wishes for you.
332620
No, I am.  See my picture?  I bike hard all the time.  Look at that trim mid!  But seriously, he is not the sexiest man.  Maybe one of them.  But not the most sexiest.  And to see him on the podium this July - that's wishful thinking.  He's going to get into form at the Giro.  Take a 3 week break and then race the tour.  He is not as young as he used to be.
558213
That's a tough one, maybe you two can hang out and try to avoid conversations that will stir up feelings from the previous relationship, but then it will seem like they are avoiding the situation, so maybe the best policy is to talk about whatever has happened and ask the person how do they think they can move forward. Maybe they may say they need sometime to themselves or something, or maybe you can suggest to them that they take up a hobby, like exercising, or jogging or something like that. Hope this helps!!!
177062
I knowm it is hard, but give him some space for right now.  He is very mad and once he calms down - hopefully he will come to terms after thinking about it.  don't pressure him in to seeing you, it might make things worse.  Good Luck!!
430665
I am going through exactly what you are going through as well. My girlfriend just left me because she was not sure she loved me either. All I can tell you is that it is going to hurt really bad. There will be some days you cannot breathe because of the pain it causes. The only thing I can tell you is that you need to find two very important things: First, you have to find something creative to take out your frustrations upon. While focusing on your studies can help, it really does nothing. Write, draw, sing, dance, do something to get it out of you. Second, this is going to sound very out there, but you need to find a place where you are happy. For me, it is in the rain. I love being in the rain. There I have no problems and I just smile. It can be physical or in your mind, but you have to find that place. Go there every so often and just enjoy yourself. It will make you feel better. Meditation can help too.\n\nAs for your boyfriend: I think that if he is going to get pissed about something as dumb as myspace, you may need to really take a look at him and ask "What the fuck?"\nAlso, if he loves you, which I think he does or he would not bring this drama into it, he might comeback. I am not going to tell you to move on. It is not that easy. What I am going to tell you is to stay strong, and have faith that you are not only a good person, but good things will come to you in this life. You just gotta have faith.
256994
Bad situation. Maybe things just feel distant because of the rough time he's going through. Hang in a bit longer,after the rough times are over,and take it from there. Good luck with everything.
158121
i do have this experience...it is not a good one... the only thing i  know to tell you is that you should try to talk to him about how you really feel. it worked for me...
25757
Communication is so totally the cornerstone to a relationship....I mean...a *good* relationship.\n\nI've been on both ends of this; fed up and worn out from not getting along and all the tension.....and on the other end....to just be with a cold-hearted woman. It hurts both ways, but for different reasons.\n\nThe communication that I was referring to could be.......maybe your 'ex' is just not in tune to you and what you feel, and when you feel it. That may or may not be his fault. Meaning.....he could either be emotionally barren (his fault), or you could give him unclear, conflicting messages (not his fault). But anyway, he may not really know you are at that level of sadness *until* you cry. Up to this point he may think you are being mean or cold to him, to which he responds to you in kind.....not understanding what's going on in your mind or heart. When guys get angry....I'm *kind of* like this too (to a degree)....we like to blow up, be left alone, and then later.....we're cool,\n\nHe may have interpreted your reaching for him as 'tenderness' when he wasn't in the mood for tenderness. He may have felt frustrated by the sentiment change....arguing one minute and then a display of love the next.\n\nI'm not discounting the fact that....he could just be a flaming jackass.\n\nWhen it was blatantly obvious he had hurt you tho, maybe the nice feelings he actually does have for you were touched and he wanted to offer compassion.\n\nI doubt his feelings are fake. Communication of feelings and thoughts are so important. To learn and understand how someone shows their love, and then accept that as it is given instead of trying to change them to give it the way we want it. People have to talk honestly, not laboriously, but to just talk....have fun, and pay attention and really learn who each other is as a person and how they communicate.\n\nSometimes it *is* best to go separate ways, and if that happens to you, I'm sorry for you both, but that means the person you (both) are meant to be with is still out there somewhere.   :)\n\nEither way I wish you both luck. Relationships are a tough gig.
381971
sounds like he has got a hyper tension dude..... may be it's coz of the relationship too. better speak to him and let him know and get him prepared to meet a counsellor and then arrange it.
399259
Very possible.  Or he thought you were dragging your feet.  It is understandable that as more time went by, and he began feeling more insecure, that he distanced himself from you.  It was probably a way for him to protect himself in case you backed out.  Now that he feels more assured you will proceed he feels free to express his love for you again. I hope that helps.
32296
unfortunatly I have to say i reckon men are like that it has happened to me. We do not do it on purpose though. It is just that things seem to get into a routine. Do something dramatic and unexpected. Add a little spice to the relationship. Tell him to chill out, shut up, and have some dang fun or else. LOL    another thing is he could be going through some things in his life. Try talking to him and find out what is wrong.
282294
You may be drifting apart or his work is tiring him out and he de stresses at the Gym. You could go to the Gym with him? If he is not interested in this idea then ask him what else you two can do together, if he has no suggestions then you suggest something,  he may be phoning nightly as he could think you are no longer interested, you could also try the direct approach and ask him what his feelings are. if he still says he loves you then tell him that you feel neglected and what to spend more time with him
388200
He's got insecurity issues.  Tell him to take a hike if he's not going to chill.
626506
It's time for some counseling!  If he won't go, you go!  You need someone to bounce things off and to get good solid objective input from.  \n\nHe may be in a personal slump himself.  If he has very little sex drive and is tired a lot, he might have low testosterone, it is not an uncommon condition.  Suggest he have a complete physical, just to make sure everything is okay, tell him you are concerned about him and want to make sure everything is all right physically.\n\nIt may be he is worried about a lot of things, and doesn't know how to communicate, or doesn't feel he should.  Guys often think they should be strong and keep things to themselves.\n\nWhat I am saying is, it might not be about you at all, though it is definitely affecting you.  And it could be that he doesn't like you bringing up the subject, so he pulls more into himself, and goes to the TV and computer to avoid interaction.\n\nI feel for you, I know this is a very difficult situation.  Don't just let it go on!  Get some outside help, at least to vent, and possibly to help the two of you communicate better.\n\nBest of luck to you!!
2993
hun its not guys.. im going through the same thing with the person i love... it all comes down to thoughts.. thinking is the worse thing in the world... becuz the devil is involved with your thoughts.. (your mind is the devils playground) so he probably missed her.. and wants to change and thinks theres something there.. just like my situation.. the guy came back.. after a year and she thought there was something there.. remember THOUGHT... when people dont follow there emotions.. thts when confusion comes in.. and confusion is everything bad... so i hope this helps you a little bit and if not im me... Epik_Liphe and i can talk to u a bit... but dont believe its 'guys', its just 'him in tht situation' it may not be he dont love you... its tht hes confused... it may not be plain to see.. and he may not say that.. but if its real love.. hes confused... take it easy hun.. try not to get upset..
162101
Aww that's terrible, to me it sounds like he's the one with all the problems and you're going out of your way to be friends with him.  He's being abit patronising and maybe it means he needs to grow up abit, so maybe there isn't anything you can do at the moment except explain to him again all this from your perspective.  When he does degrade make sure you defend yourself, and even if you're not right maybe you can give the thoughts you had that made you think that way.  But it's not an exam, and please don't let him make you feel bad and I really hope it works out!