my boyfriend lives in Kentucky and i live in Texas and he wants me to move there and leave my family behind me and my life here and i told him ok and now he's making these plans for when we get married and stuff and how happy i will make him but nothing about making me happy he's not making any kind of effot to come see me here or meet my family nothing and he wants me to pack up and leave my life here and start a new one for him i love him ya but i also love my family i dont know what to do should i go with him or stay with my family
206130
Sweetie, it seems like just by you posting here, you know the answer already. If this was meant to be, you would be beyond excited about moving to start a "new life" with him. And while he mite love you and be a good person, the point that you bring up about him not mentioning YOUR happiness should be raising some red flags. Think about it--you move, leave your life behind(which you CAN always return to...)and you mite possibly feel stuck/resentful of him and his established life. And if you break up??? Or marriage??? Take a stand, stick with  the life you have--YOUR life, if this Romeo is meant to be with you, he will make it work on your terms.
188809
thats very unfair..you have a future too and you still have time to work for it..are you just going to sit there and wait for him when you can go and get yoursel a life? he's not being fair to you. if you really love each other, having a long distance college life wouldn't affect your relationship..i also think that he's afraid of what you too may do in college just the same as you are afraid of what may happen to him in college..what if after college he leaves you? then you loose your boyfriend and your future. besides, going off for college would be a good obstacle to prove if you really love each other..but above all? i dont think its a good idea not to go to college just because he said so..at least if you go to college too, your future could be set and who knows maybe you'll find out more of what your relationship is made of..
665318
my sister and her then boyfriend had to deal with her leaving the state to attend college. That was years ago and now they are married. It can work. If your boyfriend is that selfish then leave him. He will come around. If not then that's his lost.
269763
Your doing the right thing by going home. If he gets mad, too bad! if he really loves you, he would want what was best for you....Until he gets his shyt together and move you into a place you can call home, I wouldn't worry about it!
140505
I'm in the middle. You do have to think about your future and your goals. But then he is your love. If you say that you know your gonna end up with each other, then don't worry, things will work out at the end for both of you. Plus, if  you say he loves you then he'll want you to be happy no matter what decision you choose.
329555
I think you need to ask him if his family has a problem with you.  I'm sure your probably a nice girl, but this is definately a case where there is something about you that his family does not approve of.  If this is the case, you might start thinking about the chances of you guys having a successful long term relationship.
427073
I'm thinking he brings you happiness as well. I think what you should  do is pack all your things, and go to Oklahoma with him. This could be a one in a lifetime opportunity for you as well, so I suggest you take full advantage of it. Good Luck.
322091
My heart feels for you and your family.\n\nFirst of all, I believe the problem is not really about where you are going to live.  You've stated that you love your husband with all of your heart.\n\nIt seems to me that your husband may be going through a very difficult time emotionally since his father is very ill, and since he's back in OK, the place where his roots and heart was from, emotionally, I think he's not prepared to leave OK.  Sounds to me he might be emotionally really upset with the possibility of losing his father, and he's clinging on desperately to what he's most familiar with - which is OK.\n\nI think that over time, you will win over his understanding and he's probably going to arrive at a point in time where he'll be ready to leave OK.  It's just that he's not ready NOW.  \n\nI think maybe if you really truly love him, love him with all of your heart.  Be there with him.  Your love is not about the geography.  Your love is about HIM, is it not?  \n\nSometimes, in life, it takes time.  Everything is a process.  With your husband in a fragile emotional state, he's pushing all the wrong buttons in you when he displays no desire to leave what he's desperately clinging onto - his home and life in OK.  He's hoping his father will not die.  He's scared silly his father will die.  I think he might be scared of his own mortality too.\n\nIf you can find it in your heart to do so, I know I'm just a stranger to you.  But, if you can LOVE him with all you have, then do so.  LOVE him.  Sometimes our love for each other really CHALLENGES our very souls because it triggers the worst fears in us.  But, it can also bring out great strength and love in us too.\n\nDon't let what should be a temporary situation in life be a life altering permanent decision just because of the fragility of the human emotion.  \n\nYour picture with you and the children - your children are beautiful.  I too have children.  If I had the chance to love my husband - I mean to really love him in this way, I would do so.  \n\nSadly enough, I won't have that chance again.  Save yourself and the children from more heartache - unnecessary and foolish.\n\nDon't worry about whether you are in OK or in Montana or Seattle.  I loved Montana when I visited, and I too am from Seattle.  But, if I had a man that I could say was my husband that I could love with all my heart, I wouldn't care much where we were...because it's all temporary.  \n\nThis time will pass, and you will be able to move again.  Don't worry.  Don't be too hasty in your decision.\n\nGood luck and God bless.
318152
sometimes things just feel like they are so right dont they? as he is going away and he feels the same as you, maybe he is thinking the same as you, have you thought about moving with him? i believe things happen for a reason and if your meant to be together than you will be and nothing like a trip to the U.S will get in your way.\ngood luck x\n\nps you could always ask him!!!
516641
Your post does not discuss why you want to marry your "collegue" or how you feel about him.  Without knowing if this is what you truly want all I can say is follow your heart which means if you love him and want to marry him and it will not cause you to lose your family then marry him but if you are marrying your "collegue" because you observed a "quite good" nature then you should wait and listen to those you trust which sounds as if it may be your family.
237470
you are making an excuse "can't keep...living through him."\nif you wanted to be with him you would go with him.\nif you don't want to go overseas, don't.\nit seems completely reasonable that you simply prefer to stay where you are.\nyou are ready to settle down but feel awkward about pressuring him to do so.
49269
No long distance isn't easy, but it doesn't mean it won't work out for that reason. If he says he will visit every month then give him that chance. Let him get settled in first. My sister's bf lives in NY and we live in Mo. They have been together for a year.
412934
I am kinda in the same situation.  I am from Michigan and we are in California right now.  I am not happy here and I miss my family.  Our kids are here with us but I think it is going to come down to me leaving him.  I just want to do whats best for our children. They don't like it here either. I don't think he will ever go back there. I am just praying about it so maybe you should do the same.
542367
Whats wrong with moving to Hawaii?  I live here!!!  \n\nFirst of all, how long have you 2 being dating?  Depending on that, would tell me whether or not you should even bother to tell him.  Obviously he is moving due to some serious reason, whether it be a job, or school or just a new place to start fresh.
439381
If you think it will work then keep just intouch enough with him to let him know your around and waiting for him if you think that it is worth it.  He has to chose if he really wants you or is willing to settle for what his family approves of.  If that is a dilema to him then you have to wonder for yourself if it is worth it
8005
Oh, no no no...  Stay where you are... I think we have enough people like you in our country as it is.  You will go to hell for this...  Heeheehaha...  Come on dude, be with someone because you love them, not because they are divorced and living in the USA..That's so wrong.
560961
Don't move out there unless you already are serious, sure that you love him, sure that there are no hidden problems that you can't deal with, and sure that you will either marry him or be able and happy to build a new life there if marriage plans fall through.\nIt sounds like he is not the one for you.  If that's so, don't try to fit him into that position.  Wait for the man you feel good about.