I had a crush on a guy a while ago and we spent a lot of time together before I went away to school. I was never sure if he liked me, but after I moved away he drove 600 miles to bring me gifts he bought during a vacation to Europe. We shared pasta from Italy, wine from France and chocolates from Switzerland, but he never tried to kiss me or hold my hand or say he liked me. After that, I gave up on anything happening with him and for a year he ended up dating another girl. Now we are both living in the same city and we've hung out a few times. I am developing feelings for him again and wonder if I should ask him how he feels or if I should just assume he's not that interested. Help!
202383
When you thanks him for the time and effort he put into the visit with the wine and chocolate, you should have asked how he felt or at least did some feeling out. I'm sure he is wondering what's up with you, too. Flat out ask him where he would like things to go, tell him how you feel and how impressed with him you really are. Best of luck to both of you.
101903
Hi.  My  advice is, strongly, that if he can't let you know now at the beginning that  he  fancies you, then WALK AWAY NOW before you waste any more energy on him!  It's your job to do your stuff, such as discreetly letting him know that you like him.  If he can't even rise to the occasion to let you know that he likes you back then you are in for utter misery if you keep liking him! Let go, and be ready to meet a guy who has the guts to go after you.  Such a guy will also be able to communicate his feelings while in  relationship.
382474
This is really quite a difficult situation...I am kind of in the same one myself-except the reverse-I'm the guy and the love interest is a girl. She isn't leading me on though... My suggestion? This may sound harsh, but...just leave it for a while. Cut back on the contact. Go away for a week or something, without contacting him. Then, either one of two things will happen. 1) When you get back you will be over him, or 2) When you get back he will have realised just how hard it is to not talk to you for a week, and he will understand. \nI hope for your sake it is 2. I happen to be going on a cruise in a week, and am hoping for my sake it is 2 as well for me!\nGood luck with it. :)\nEmail me if you have any other queries... :D
182659
Wait for another time.  It sould like it may end up being too stressful if you have to be misleading.  Think about how great it would be if everyone could be open.  If he doesn't know you like him then you're more likely to be disappointed that you didn't have quality time with him and it will be all your own fault.  If he's the right guy for you, you'll have a chance to be with him and enjoy the fact that not only you like him but that he likes you.  Wait for that to happen and you'll enjoy yourself more.  Even if it doesn't happen, you'll be glad you didn't push the situation.
656110
He probably really does like you.  Obviously he does at some level or he wouldn't already be spending time with you.\n\nFirst do things that aren't quite making a move.  Touch him casually (bump him, brush against him, reach out to him, hug when you say goodbye - and just a little longer and closer) just a little more than you'd expect.  Look into his eyes just a little more than you would.  Joke about how he likes you.  Have conversations about sex and relationships.   Not too much with this stuff, just playing with it.  Just see what happens.  You'll warm him up and maybe get a better sense of where he stands (or you'll just watch him continue to be shy!)\n\nThen, I think what I would do, if I were in your position, is to make a move physically, rather than in a conversation.  Not a big move, just taking one step.  Holding him in a different way, or holding him closer or kissing when you say goodbye.  Not with a great weight of expectation and meaning on it, just as something that feels nice at the time.  Maybe you don't even want to plan it in advance, because then you'll be nervous.  Keep it something natural, where you are responding to him and let him respond to you.  If it's like this, then he can tell you if he doesn't like it and it doesn't have to be this big international incident - but most likely he will.\n\nOh, and don't necessarily belive him if he says he isn't interested.  Don't pressure him, don't make him do something he doesn't want to do at the time.  But he may be speaking out of his syness if he says no, rather than because he genuinely doesn't want a realtionship.  Don't challenge him, just wait and know in your heart that he does like you (or he wouldn't be spending time with you) and he just needs a little more time to open up.  Keep having fun with him and being as close as feels natural and no more.
424308
wow. lovely story. I had a crush that I felt the same way about back in HS. He was exactly the opposite of everyone I was dating, but he had a girlfriend, so I never got to be with him. \n\nMaybe he still ponders what might have been. Maybe she should ask him why. Maybe a conversation about this feeling needs to take place, no matter if it eases their minds or stir up feelings. Maybe she needs to asess her feelings for her bf, happy or not. Maybe down the road when he is still staring into her eyes, and her eyes just dont twinkle the same way anymore, since she left her bf (or got left?) maybe then it would be wise for her to talk to him. She could find comfort in knowing that he will always find that special place in her heart, that noone has ever touched before, and he may still be available by then. you never know........\nGood Luck Girlie!!\n;o)
563220
Think about the stress he's going to be under. He will see a lot of things he wished he wouldn't and do things that might stay with him forever. God forbid, but he might get wounded or worse.\n\nI really think you should ask him if he wants to take the lead in this. Would he like to stay in contact with you? Would he understand your feelings of confusion?\n\nSince you aren't in love yet, it seems like you should see how it goes. He might be over there a year before he comes back, and he might or might not have changed in ways neither of you can predict.\n\nI guess the main thing is to establish how you are going to stay in contact, and above all promise that you will be honest with each other in your communications.\n\nGood luck to both of you.
421767
At a bar. We would go to the same club regularly and he was friends with a friend of a friend. We would hang out the bar almsot every weekend for about 6 months. It wasn't planned though. We just liked the same scene. He was dating other girls at the time, but had his eye on me and I was interested in something strictly casual, but never tried with him because he was cool and I thought we'd be 'just friends'. \n\nWell, one night he called me because he broke up with his girlfriend and wanted to come over and eat mushrooms. I had nothing else to do and thought he was cool, so I let him come over and we had a good time. Nothing happened that night, but about a week later I got extrodinarly wasted and we hooked up. It started out as a casual thing scratch that as a very casual thing and I had little intentions of it being serious, but we ended up falling in love and I settled down a little bit. \n\nThis was after he moved in because his 'rents kicked him out of their place and he was staying in his car. We were already sleeping together, so I said he could stay at my place for a few days and that few days turned to months and that casual time with a guy who was actually worthy of my friendship unlike my other casual boys turned into a serious relationship. We've been together for almost two years and plan on getting married in 2008. \n\nWhat makes us stay together? Well, our geniune love for eachother and partially our own narcissisms. We love ourselves and I'm his female counterpart and he's the male version of myself. Our similar interests and goals and problem solving techniques help as well as compatible senses of humour.\n\nThe story I tell my parents and family? We met through friends of friends at church.
301264
Let him know you are interested, but don't rush to him.  Even if you like him, you need to know how he feels about you.  That's the key to long-term relationship.
287894
I would suggest that you go out with someone who invited you out...meaning he's the one that is much interested to get to know u! even if you wanted to go out with this guy that you are crushing( as a girl i can say that)...it's actually advisable to go for someone who's more interested in us that us to them.  Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, just when you are thinking of asking a guy out this guy asked you for a date, maybe it's one way of saving you from the possible heartache that you might experience once you will be rejected!  it's really difficult when we do the first move because we might get hurt....or if you will succeed the first time, that's not even a guarantee that there will be 2nd or 3rd now, will you be happy asking a guy out forever!  Just date this guy who invited you out...try to get to know him...who knows you might end up liking him in the end!
507494
Hey ok well since ur only 13 (im 13 too! :)) the relationship with the boyfriend who just moved 2 paris probably wasnt that serious so keep in touch or whatever but dont feel bad about moving on! If u honestly think that this other guy likes u then spend more time with him and then most definitely things will start 2 take shape and u guys will either realize that u do like each other or u dont. but in the end everything will be fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
445430
Sounds like you guys have a great friendship going on.  Just keep up the good friendship and if you want to take it to the next level and you don't know if he does or not, then you are going to have to find out.  When you think the time is right, talk with him and ask him if he could ever see you two together?  Make sure after you ask that you get a serious answer.  After that you will know if the time is right for a relationship and if he is ready or not.  He may like you but not be ready, so it's your call when and if you want to pursue it further.
499991
I think that is sweet...I think he loves you just like he said...but I think he is watching out for your feelings...a long distance relationship can be hard...Maybe he is also scared cause he just put his heart on his sleeve for you and that is a hard thing for a guy to do...Did you tell him you loved him?...maybe he is afraid that you don't share the same feelings for him?...Think about you feel for him...talk to him and tell him...and if you do have the same feelings for him and you think you can handle a long distance relationship...then tell him...otherwise, be careful...he told you what he feels...and I don't think he wants to lose you as friend...hope this helped some...good luck to you :)
514078
I know just what you mean.  I really don't know how to explain any of this because when I was in school there was this girl that really did like me but she would never asked me how to say anything to me.  She was really shy but very pretty after several years I found out that she really did like me a lot.  I wish I would have knew this or she would have told me because I wouldn't love to go out with her.  Maybe the best thing that you can do is try to find out whether or not this guy is at all interested in her.  If he is maybe you should drop the few hints around and maybe he will get the idea that it is okay for him to ask her out.  Some guys are really intimidated when girls come on to them.  Try to find how he feels and try to get him to make the first move.  Good luck
22664
if you put yourself out there and made the first move and he didnt grab at it, i wouldnt do it again with this guy. If he is interested, leave it up to him to make the next move. if you do it, it will just make you seem like you cant take no for an answer and he may be uncomfortable. Keep spending time with him, let him know that your interest hasnt changed, and if he's interested hopefully he will sum up the courage to act on it!
289090
I know how you feel.  I am going through that right now.  I just graduated college and I never got a chance to tell the guy I liked for 2 years that I liked him.  Our relationship is confusing.  Sometimes it seemed like he liked me other times it seemed like he hated me.  That's why I didn't pursue the relationship.  Like my friend tells me, "If we are meant to be together, we will be together.  God will see to it."
57122
Honesty is best.  Tell him that you are confused.  Ask what his intentions are for his keeping in touch.  Does he still have feelings for you?  Does he want to date you again?  Or is he keeping you close because he wants to be your friend?  Ask him straight up.  Then take it from there.