I didn't know my baby's daddy was illegal I was 16 and not very intelligent I have learned my lesson but now I am struggling to take care of my son financially so my family is helping so I don't have to go on wellfare but I now worry how can I do this without them one day in the future.
212132
Right On CINDY_CEE13\n\n You Will Become A Statistic Of The SOCIAL SERVICES And The US TAXPAYERS Will Fund You And Your Baby\n\nAccording to TNRIP, the financial cost of this foreign invasion to U.S. taxpayers is staggering! Here is a break down of the annual costs: \n\nEducation: $22.5 billion \nBi-lingual Education: $3.3 billion \nAFDC: $2.4 billion \nSSI: $2.9 billion \nSocial Security: $24.8 billion \nHousing Assistance: $2.6 billion \nCriminal Justice: $2.6 billion \nJobs Lost by Americans: $10.8 billion \nOther Programs: $51.4 billion \nFood Stamps: $7 billion \nHealth Care: $1.4 billion                             \n(That Totals $131.7 BILLION Annually Folks)
655862
Hi young lady.  You're bound to get a ton of responses to your question, both from parents and from other teens who consider you either very lucky, or very unlucky.  I suspect that something happened this evening that upset you and probably prompted your to ask the question - perhaps they turned down a request or simply said something at a moment when you really weren't feeling happy with the state of your life.  Regardless, being a successful father myself (my son is now married and working on his master's degree to be a teacher), I can tell you something you probably don't like to think about; that is that raising a child . . . I'm sorry . . . a young man or woman, in today's world is a VERY scary and challenging thing to do.  Particularly in the case of young women, if you follow the newspapers or TV news at all, you'd see that the prevalence of sex crimes in our country is at an all-time high.  The Internet itself is being used as a tool by predators who want nothing more than to take advantage of gullible or naive young people who are too ready to trust, and not ready enough to protect themselves.  Your parents sound like they love you very much . . . enough to want to protect you from the very nasty and ugly side of humanity, for as long as they are able.  When you believe they are simply being mean or too strict, they are actually struggling with the choices they must make as you grow older, regarding how much freedom you should be allowed to have, as opposed to how much risk and danger could be waiting for them to allow you too much freedom, or perhaps more than you are fully equipped to handle.  Parents have a terribly difficult job, and very often they have to be the "bad guys" as far as their children are concerned, in order to ensure that their children remain safe and secure until they are old enough, and hopefully well enough prepared, to step out into this very brutal world on your own.  I don't want to put you to sleep here with a long message (I might have already done so:-), but I believe you will find in the long run, that in order to earn more trust and more freedom from your parents, you're going to have to demonstrate to them how responsible and how trustworthy you can be.  And if you attempt to mislead them, or you abuse a trust that they give to you, you shouldn't be surprised or angry at them if they back off and require you to earn their trust all over again.  As a retired military person, I can tell you most assuredly - freedom is everyone's right, but it is a right that we all have to earn, not once, but every day of our lives, but doing what is right (not just what is the easiest), and by setting a high standard of honesty and integrity for ourselves that no one can put a hole in.  I suspect that when you have become the kind of upstanding person your parents want you to be, you will discover that they will endow you with increasing levels of trust, and freedom, so long as you continue to prove that what they are doing is the right thing, not just for you, but for your entire family.  I apologize for writing so much, but I saw in your note some feelings of disappointment and frustration with your folks.  Try not to only consider their actions from your point of view.  To really understand what is happening in yours and their lives, broaden your point of view and try to consider what they're feelings are, and what they're reasons are for the decisions that they make on your behalf.  Don't be in too big a hurry to be out on your own - it's a far scarier and more dangerous world than you can possibly imagine, and your time in it will come all too soon.  Good luck with your question, and with sifting through all of the many wide-ranging opinions you're likely to see.  Use your brain, and not your emotions to determine who's advice is the most honest and the most intelligent, and don't just choose those answers that suppor
295044
i have had a rough life , my only brother killed hisself at 12 , my parents didn't want us , they are both dead now as well , i went from man to man looking for love and support , now i have 5 children , 3 still at home , no job experience , no help , but i keep going , so maybe your life will be better than mine has , enjoy your day , everyday
333941
All the time, when i was a kid i thought i was going to be something big when i grew up, but now I'm poor, married, and already have a baby. But i would not change it for anything. I love my son and my husband, But i do wish i had more money.
446811
Yes, fight for your rights, and don't give him any sex (charge him, just kidding, had to say that in the moment), the most important thing of course is the welfare of the children, and remember, documentation, documentation, I hope you have paperwork on everything that has happend in your life, and witnesses, he has to pay child support no matter what, he is their father and has to support them (like it or not/wage garnishment).  And don't question yourself if you need financial help, you do and you deserve it.  Good Luck and I hope things work out for you and your children.
273476
i was in your almost same situattion i was 17 (pregnant) he was 31. I lived in Nh i ran away to NYC. He got very possesive than that turned to abuse. Go back to your family, you dont knpw what you are putting them through. Atleast let them knoe that you are ok to let them know you are alive. I did see my mom for year & half & she wasnt mad please let them know you are ok. Do you know what its like to have the FBI contact your family saying they have a teenage girl that matches their daughters description. well thats what happened to my mom & i regret the hell i put her through. If i could only do it over. I now have a daughter & hope she never puts me through what i put my mom through.\nremember family is forever. please go back & if you need anyone to talk to email me.
653202
I feel sorry for you. I hope you have a good job and provide for yourself with your own money, because that is what the court will look at. Would you have a place to stay for the next couple of years? If I were you, and this is very important for you to consider. You could call Children Services and talk to someone there. They will want to know all the info that you have shared here and all the info that you have not shared here. You have to tell the truth. Most likely the police will get involved and your parents may go to jail, depending on what they find when they come to your house. Children Services will take you and any siblings out of the house and put you in foster care. You may like the home you go to and you might not. If it is as bad as you say, don't hesitate to call them. If you need more advice you need to go to your school counsellor and they will get things rolling for you. I wish you the best of luck.
56867
I learned when I was 3.  I lost my father to a drunk driving accident, he was the drunk driver.  It was something that I really never recovered from, my mother did the best she could to raise me and my sister, but I still never had a father figure.  It has also made it difficult on me now as a father myself.
254947
You need to be a big part of your kids lives. Take it from me. I'm only 16, but I think I know what I'm talking about here. My mom was always a HUGE part of my life. Now, I'm a strait A student who's in many extra curricular activities. I've never had a detention in my life, never touched alcohol, nothing like that stuff. I know kids, however, who's parents AREN'T much involved in their kids lives. These children are one locker over from me in school, so I hear them talking. These are the kids that are doing drugs, having sex, flunking, and the kids that are always in trouble. My point is that if you don't stay involved with your kids lives, they could turn out like those kids. If your husband doesn't like it, talk to him. I can't help you there, but in my mind, there is plenty of time to spend with him after the kids move out.
161801
I admire your big heart. I say, continue to try and get them to move up there with you.   Pray to God and his Son Jesus to help you through these hard times, and to help provide to take care of these family members.  With the help of God, you can make ends meet, and every one will be fed. There will be lots of hard times, including emotionally I am sure, but if you have faith in God, and keep him in your heart and house, you will come out fine. God wants us to help those in need. If the rest of your family aren't offering to help, then don't worry about it.  In tough times, family is all we have, and YOU are all the family that those kids have to help them.  If they are at least 16, then they can get an after school job, and at least have their own spending money, and maybe even help out with the bills or food. God bless you, and do the right thing.  Just imagine if it were your kids........
614916
I'm 20 and when I left for college I met so many different people and realized that my parents were very strict.  I'm an only child and I think thats the reason.  I soon realized living on my own that for most of my life I'd been scared of my partents.  Don't get me wrong I love them and I did  have a great life, however I was living for them and not for me.  Their big mistake was not letting me know they loved me for who I am and not who they wanted me to be.  When I was finally out on my own I had a really hard time but I finally learned to relly on myself and it's been great.  \n\nI never really confonted my parents about this.  I figure there really is no point thats how they were my whole life and me telling them they screwed up isn't going to help our lives.  I'm happy with my life now and I wont let them control me anymore.
387700
i so feel for you, best bet is to go back to the courts and ask for a child welfare assessment..........that way they will talk to you, talk to him [the father] and talk to the child as best as he can.........at the best they might even come and observe a hand over from you to the dad............state that it is NOT your intention to keep them apart but the emotional trauma you have to deal with taking him and then the aftermath of the child being so upset is really not worth it.................just a question but WHY was they supervised at first and who decided that should change ???
384202
Why wouldn't your parents tell you.  If you weren't I would think they would tell you of course not so you very well may be.  They will probably tell you when you are old enough to handle all that entails.  Don't think you could find it on the web especially if it was a closed adoption as most are.
191146
I'm 25, already have a baby, I work full time in an international chinese company in Mexico...I'm just so busy all the time. I'm actually wondering if it's gonna be like this for the rest of my life. I wish I could just quit my job to spend more time with my baby before he grows up and doesn't need me anymore. See...I think this is a crisis.
113923
I was 20 and my low life ex left me with 2 baby girls.  It was very hard, now they are 13 and 14.  It is ever harder! But i have a great husband that helps me with everything.  Please learn from my mistake and wrap your life around your child.  Don't became wrapped up in looking for Mr.Right.  I was so focused on finding a father for them that I went from relationship to relationship and now they have a lot of bad feelings because I put them through it too.  Also, go to college.  There are MANY places that will help a single mother. They will even pay for your childcare while you go to school Take advantage them.  You just can't raise a child anymore on $5.00 or 6.00/hr.  That way you wont have to depend on anyone else. When have a degree and a good job then the right person will come along and you will be so secure that you wont have to depend on him.  I commend you on leaving your abuse relationship.  Remember God loves you and you deserve to be treated with respect and love.  If a man hits you one time, it is one time too many. You did the right thing!! Your going to be ok.  You will be a strong, independent mother and you baby will love you for that.  Just remember it's all up to you now, that baby's future is in your hands : ) Take care and good luck!
608339
I got pregnant at 17 I was already out on my own. The father of my child told me to get an abortion. For me he aborted his parental rights in that moment. I chose to keep my baby. I had no family and no partner. I got very sick and had to quit my job to keep my baby. I ended up going  on welfare to pay my bills and for medical insurance. My baby was born sick but I kept at it. I worked with him. When he was 6 months I dropped my welfare assistance and found a job. I support my son on my own for the first 6 years of his life. Anyone that lays down and gets pregnant should do so knowing that they may become a parent and they may end up having to support a child. I am pro-choice but not for me. Having an abortion can do just as much damage to a young girls mind as having to have the child and figuring out a way to support it. My son is 16 now and I am so glad I made the right choice. He scores in the top 5% of kids in his grade in the nation on standardized testing. He is a great athlete.He also is involved in animal rights and I am sure he is going to contribute a lot of good to this world. The world would have lost a lot if I chose abortion over struggle.\nLove & Light\nSharon\nOne Planet = One People
423586
I don't know what your troubles were but they sound pretty bad.  We support you and your great positive attitude.  I lost alot of loved ones in my family including my nephew when he was just 15.   I know what you are saying and thank God every day that I and my children are alive to share another day together.  God bless you!