i love my boyfriend & we are engaged to be married& have a handsom baby boy together.I am a very hyper person and i get right to the point,I dont like to jack around w/useless facts.he is the oposite,moves slow,thinks slower, gets confused very easily & tells borring stories cause they take 4EVER to tell them.He's just a slower paced person.he often doesnt get me cause he cant keep up w/me so he says, Hhuu??Over the simplest things.(grr!)Then when he talks i say Hhuu??Cause i didnt listen to it all because he beats around the bush and takes a 5 second breath between every word.Then finally,he gets to his point by then i am off in lala land.(not on purpose either)I often catch myself frustrated with him and get rude about it.Sometimes Im frustrated& to him b4 he actually frustrates me.(hope this makes sence 2u.)Why do I do this?Whats wrong with me. i love him & cant live w/o him but cant treat him this way either.I even get edgy if he says my name 2 ask me something.i shout back WHAT!
210284
Just tell him to get to the point, Then you get back on your medication. No just kidding ...Its sound like you may have some anxiety issues. talk to a doctor and maybe some medication will help
137896
You can tell by what you are saying that he loves you. Why did you always break up with him? Saying because you were dumb is not a good reason, you must have an actual reason. Maybe in your eyes you have changed, but in his you havent. Maybe if you two could talk about it and everythime you do something that he doesnt like he could tell you. If you two talk it out maybe he will stop doing what he is doing. Was he like that before you met him? If not I do not agree with the person who said he will be abusive to the baby. If he was like that before than maybe he might be. Just because you are pregnant doesnt mean things will get better. It is a two way street and both of you have to try and make things work. If one of yall is trying and the other isnt then it does no good. You both have to be on the same wave lenght on things so things will go smooth and fix in time. I hope that this answers your questions.
561858
Yes, you have successfully overanalyzed this.  My husband always sounds horribly angry when I call him.  He isn't.  And most of the time he is glad I called (unless it was to nag him about something)  He has never been great at talking on the phone.  Some guys just don't know what to say to a voice on the other end of the reciever, despite that its their girlfriend, wife, mom, or Jesus himself on the other end.  And that's fine.  Relax.  You'll be fine.
56023
I've started and deleted this a couple times and thought about what to say to you, but am having a hard time.\n\nI can't map in for some reason, so I apologize if my response is a scatterbrained collection of thoughts.\n\nOn one hand I hesitate because you don't want to be his 'mom'.....coming to rescue him.\n\n1st....he may not feel good about being rescued by a woman. I'm not taking a shot at you or anything....I happen to be open to someone helping me if I need it, but I don't think (most?) men warm up to that......unless they are insecure, and then you don't get a man for your partner, you get an adult momma's boy.\n\n2nd....he may not like a woman coming on to strong. He may regard your advances as just that, and regard it as another element to deal with.\n\nIf you've offered coffee, and other such things and have been turned down....that's male communication for.....'thank you, but not now'.\n\n3rd He may have an ego......one that may preclude him from admitting to himself that he needs help at all.\n\n:)\n\nMen like to tackle things completely (most of the time I think) and then move on to the next issue to deal with. It's possible that you are on the 'list'...so-to-speak. I'm sorry for making you sound like a line item. I don't think that, but for brevity I phrased it that way...and to help illustrate what I'm saying.\n\nIt's also likely that whatever he's going thru is deeper than you realize and it requires all his attention. Men (most) are somewhat single-minded and throw a lot of attention on one problem at a time, depending on what it is. This could be one of those situations.\n\nHe may regard the starting of a relationship...even a new friendship right now to be a taxing endeavor that he just doesn't want to deal with.\n\nI'd say that if you've made the offers.....then take stock in that......he knows.....he knows you're there. Don't be pushy.....we men really, really don't like that. I can speak for myself on that one....lol.\n\nDon't keep asking him for coffee....he'll just think you're a pain or think you have stock in Juan Valdez (geeze is he still around?) or something....lol.\n\nThe best thing to do is be a friend. Don't be a pain, don't be annoying and just hang.....being helpful to HIM won't be your idea of 'helpful'. And if you want to ingratiate yourself to him...you will have to figure out how you can be helpful to HIM. Do you know what I mean? That may just be being an ear for him if he wants to talk, sending him some jokes on the internet.....whatever.\n\nDon't be selfish with what you want.....do what is best for him right now.\n\nHope that helps....a little anyway. I hope it works out.....send me a wedding invitation....k?\n\n;)
673360
That may be his sense of humor.  Something he thinks he is expected to do around "the guys".  There is a stigma around marriage that it should be miserable.  Your hubby may be one of those who wants to fit in so he subscribes to the stereotypes people hold of him and his life.  (I could be wrong)\n\nIn private I would tell him that what he said really bothered you.  Ask him if he really feels that way or if he was just trying to be funny.  Inform (gently not confrontationaly) that it wasn't funny and jokes as such really hurt you, especially around other people.  If he really feels that way it may be time for some marriage counseling.
226877
Let me tell you from experience.I thought my man that i have now was slow because he was quite he would say things and my friend would laugh at him cause it would be out of context.Let me tell you this went on for a couple of years.I started dating him full time and honey this man ran circles around me.He ended up being the most intelligent man i know.See it wasn't that he was slow i was just too fast.Don't be so quick to judge. PEACE
332131
Its verbal abuse. Not all the signals are the same for other couples so take it for granted that maybe its a joke but do this for one week but see if he calls you those names after you seem irriating to him. You sound like your insecure. If he loves you 100% than why leave him? This makes no sense which is why I commented you seem insecure. You have a mouth to open and shut so tell him you do not like being called those names. Maybe he's not aware its hurting your feelings nor he's actually doing it more than once per day. Basically, if he's doing it more than 2 times per day than its abuse. Abuse is not tolerated. I have been in a verbal abusive relationship and it makes you insecure and bring a low-self esteem. Try to open up and tell him or seek counseloring if it gets worse. I know easier said than done but do you want to be called respectful names, yes, so tell him to address you by your name or honey, sweetie or babe. Basically, tell him instead of that "b" word replace it with babe, beautiful or bodious maybe change the "c" word with cutie, charming or cupcake. I feel you need guidance so read books or just avoid confrontations that leads to those names unless its an everyday thing. Just do whats best for your heart and health. Abuse can damage your health.
314508
Your boyfriends loves you very much.\n\nIf he didn't he wouldn't put up with the way you behave, especially not at the age of 20. There are millions of young girls out there that he could have but he chose YOU. He loves YOU and he only wants to be with YOU.\n\nHe can't show you that every minute of every day because that simply isn't normal. You would probably get fed up with it if he did, you would feel smothered.\n\nYou need to sit and imagine what life would be like without him. How much you would miss him and how much you don't want that. You have to appreciate him and concentrate on the good points of your relationship.\n\nWhen you feel the rage start building, count to ten or walk away. He is much more likely to come after you than if you scream, cry and act crazy. When you do that you are actually making yourself unattractive to him and let's face it, if someone was screaming in your face and acting crazy, you would want to get away from them wouldn't you?\n\nYou are definitely NOT crazy, don't worry. You are very young and your feelings for this boy are obviously very strong. Love can make us do crazy things! Just calm down, take your time and let him have some space sometimes.\n\nYou should also have time away from him to spend with your own friends. If you never leave his side to go do something different how are you ever going to have anything to talk about? You could be telling him funny stories about things you did with your friends and making him laugh and love you even more. It will make you more interesting - it's very easy at your ages to get bored with a relationship. You have to keep it going but make it fun. \n\nHowever, hurting yourself is serious stuff and is usually the product of low self-esteem. Don't be afraid of the doctor - he/she can actually help you. They certainly wouldn't think you are crazy or lock you away. There are thousands of young people with similar issues. One day you will look back and think 'I can't believe that was me'. Unfortunately, it's all part of growing up.\n\nYou have taken the first very big and VERY important step. You are talking about it. Don't be afraid to talk about it. Your feelings are what makes you the person you are, never be afraid to express them (calmly). Please talk to your doctor - you will be surprised how kind and helpful they will be.\n\nTake care x
247125
Your partner's bahabiour is quite controlling and dominating,so it appears on the surface.Displaying affection is a good thing,but overly showing ur neediness to be with him all the time,without giving him breathing space sounds troublesome.Maybe ur behaviour is childish,SMSing calling just to say a hi, and hello every now n then.Maybe this is acting as a repellent.Grow up.The more u run after him,the more he would want to cut contacts with u.Men like to win their love through a hard way.Anything easily falling in their hands is not seen as a compliment.Further,do u want to be treated the way he does to u now?Has he declared his love for u verbally?U sure this isnt freindship?Also,his giving u lesser attention is drawing u to him closer.Are u sure u love him?
647226
hmmm.......... i have been giving suggestion in this regard to a lot of people and i guess they liked it also...\nthe problem here is there is a monotonous life schedule which is going on..... you have a routine life and people do get bored out of their routine life.....\none thing i would suggest is stop bitching about each other.... this is the worst thing to do in a relationship.... ater all this, you two are together for 5 years means that there is something which is still there which is binding you two.... it can love, it can be lust......\ndo these to spice up your life.....\n1. give him a surprise party..... without any occasion\n2. always be a pleasant surprise for him.... keep him guessing what will be your next move... that will interest him...\n3. Perform a striptease in front of him... totally unexpected...\n4. for once, dont bitch back..... arguments leads to arguments......\neven though he does, you have to keep your calm, and try to love him, even though he might be busy bitching..... put your arm around him and kiss him on his lips.... the words come out.....\n5. don't hear whatever he says, when he is bitching.......\n6. give your love to him...... it can bind/heal/patch almost any kind of relationship.... it can cure the bitterness between you two......\ntake care and good luck girl
226746
Yeah, thats tough...it sounds like you two are younger and are having some insecurities about one another. His family and friends are being dicks if they make him feel like they are in competition for you. I guess the best way (if you havent done so) is to come out and tell him that you love him. Tell him how much he means to you and do a few extra special things for him to show him that it is more than just words.
541914
yeah...myhusband nags more than i do, and im the woman!  he gets mad about EVERYTHING.  helping me with the garbage, with dishes, cleaning, always looking over my shoulder and asking my why im doing what im doing and getting mad because i tell hi to leave me the hell alone or dont answer.   whats up with it?!
663043
Nope.  Frankly, I'm the same way.  My gf let me know it bothers her, so, I'm trying to make adjustments.  But, if you keep asking him, it'll just take longer and make him more irritated, maybe to the point where he can't deal with it anymore.  I'd let him know it bothers you, and leave it.  If he's going to change, he'll do it on his own.
257043
You almost answered yourself, it's not you that's irritating him, so don't worry, unless you're not understanding and supportive.... With all that stress he's in, all with the finals and graduation and work, it's not unusual that he's irritable and touchy most of the time !! Stress could make a person angry, nervous and sensitive, it affects the nervous system... So don't worry, it's not you, just be there for him as supportive when he's irritated and be there for him when he needs a breather with the girl he loves..... It will pass !!
212323
Hi!,\nIt sounds like you would like your boyfriend to be more open and to communicate his thoughts more. If he does not open up and communicate what he is thinking, feeling or doing you would be left to think many things.\nMy first thought would be, has he always been of this particular nature, that is not open, or not very communicative? If so love him as he his.\nMy second thought is, you would like to have a partner that is open and communicative. Perhaps that is how you are (open and communicative), and you have that recipricating need. It would not be healthy heart trying to guess what another person is thinking. We are so often incorrect to try and guess what a person is thinking. What is, is, can be a simple thought. A person who thinks less could be more at peace, at least not so stressed. Try it. Try and be more like him, since you wish perhaps him to be more like yourself. Good Luck
314312
he sounds More of a annyoing little brother then a real boyfriend!! break it up!! tell him you can't stand it anymore!! IF HE CAN'T BE MATURE THEN FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN BE!!! Good Luck!!
309645
no offence but he sounds like a dick! id dump him but considering you love him and you all are engaged sit down and freakin talk to him. i hate fights jus as much as you seem to.... its hard!