HE HAS ME THIS WAY. HE BELIVES HIS FRIEND DIDNT DUE THE SEXUAL STUFF. AS FOR MY DAUGHTER SHES HIS STEP DAUGHTER. WEVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 11 YRS FOR 7 I'VE PUT UP WITH STUFF THAT NO SELF RESPECTING WOMEN WOULD HAVE. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO BACK BONE. 11 YRS AGO I BOUGHT INTO HIS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'LL NEVER HURT YOU CRAP. I THOUGHT THIS WAS IT {FAIRYTALE}. i DONT EVEN KNOW WHO I AM. HOW DO I STAND UP TO HIM AND SAY ENOUGH WITH OUT CRYING AND GETING ALL EMOTIONAL. I WANT TO SO BAD BUT WHEN HE GETS FACE TO FACE WITH ME I GET SCARED. I HAVE $400 DOLLARS. BEFORE HE TOOK OFF TO THE BAR WITH HIS FRIENDS. HE SAID I HAD TO PAY A $317 BILL WE HAVE DUE. HE SAID THAT I GET AL"STUPID"WHEN HE WHANTS TO GO WITH HIS FRIENDS. HE'S 34. GOD HOW DID I BECOME THIS WAY.
215879
Please contact your local women's shelter. They usually have toll free hot lines as well. You need to get out now for you self and especially for your daughter. I was once trapped or so I thought. I have survived on my own and I am better for it, and so are my sons.
172408
sounds like he needs to grow up and you say he's 30!!! that's really sad...the only advice i can give you is put him in situations where he has to talk to you but to be honest with you it sounds like he doesn't respect you and maybe he is trying to find excuses to leave you you say he did this with his ex's well look where they are now  i hope you are able to solve this problem good luck.
594928
Sweetie, if you feel like you are being used... then it means you aren't happy. Therefore, talk to him about it. Say, why don't you pay this time.. or when he wants to do something say ok, well you pay because I had XXX bills this month so money is tight. Talk to him about making you leave after sex. If you don't bring it up, it will eat away at you.\n\nHere is a hint- if he gets angry/ defensive after you tell him any of this, then yes he is most likely a user and your instincts were probably right. If he says, sorry hun didn't mean to make you feel that way, or something to that extent, then he seems like a good guy.\n\nAnd girl, cmon now, real estate agent, successful woman, you've got it goin on- if it does turn out that he's using you move on! You're a catch and can do better!
673099
almost the same thing happend to me. my boyfriend an i have been together for a long time. 6months through he told me that he had to tell me something...he told me about some party he went too an how he had no idea what was going on an blah blah blah, but i forgave him. i mean i figure if it was before the relationship it shouldnt matter. ofcourse trust issues an all that, but he was just scared to tell me, he figured id get "jelous" i have to admit i was a tad bit, but i love him way to much to even trip over things like that. THATS LIFE! people make mistakes.. some bad...some good...If your girlfriend learned from what had happend thats all that matters! dont put her down for it! im sure it hurts her enough already. About the Vegas thing...maybe she does have plans? maybe she is busy? not everything is abal to work out for you or anybody. im sure youve had plans of ur own when she wanted to go some where? i mean GOSH! your only 16. party. have fun! an just because she wants to go to a boys "birthday party" doesnt mean a thing! STOP being so controlling towards her...u sound more like a father than a boyfriend...an if u keep that up you might loose her.....and also about her mother....just leave that her buisness dont get to involed into things an automatically blame her for the mistakes her, her mother, her family has made. She may be a WHOLE diff. person. TRUST ME..I KNOW.\n\n-Stephanie
592785
If you dont belive in self how are you going to have anything better then just the friends relationship. Of not being worthy or not is not for your decision. \nYou have to defined between the two what is there between you two. Is there a spark ? Have you slept together ? Does he take care of your daughter. \n\nHe might be just looking for a company or providing you care and affection and does not intend or think about you as a girlfriend. \n\nYou will need to sit and discuss and if there is nothing that he has in for you, you will have to stop going to his place. \nIf you are giving him more without him asking for it why will he commit.\nStop going to his place for a week, dont meet him or so see him. If he calls you back then you have him else he was never yours. \n\nThink positive and stop being negative as negative thoughts about yourself will take you nowhere. Try to see beyond.. \n\nSmile always
237421
First of all my dear friend, you are too young for this man. I hope to God you have not had sex with this man for this is truly a case of statutory rape. Second, you have way too much life to live to be dragged into the middle of this drama...and believe me, the drama has only just begun. You will never have any peace with this man and his ex (especially since you have indicated that he already talked about going back, then you say, he wants nothing to do with her only for the baby -doesn't sound like a firm foundation to me) You need to run, run, run as far away from this situation as you can - you don't want to be the next one with child.
241397
ok hunny been there done that.  with your sweetie i cant give a guarenteed answer but i had that problem with my son's father when we were together. he thought it was his responsibilty to look after his mom.  last straw for me was when she "borrowed" 200 bucks to take his sister back to the mainland for ferry and gas and i found out that she used it to go bowling. man i was pissed beyond recognition since the money came out of my account which i used to pay ALL the bills and he wouldnt ask her to pay it back. in your case hes the child and unless they are unable to work or seriously something wrong with them then his responisbility is to you and his children.........however many kids there are and his parents should know that their grandbabies come first and foremost. doesnt matter whose kids they are they are always first and shame on his ex for trying to stick him with two kids that arent his. personally i wouldnt put up with whats going on but maybe make a really big chart and stick it up somewhere really obvious (maybe in the bathroom right over the toilet where he presumably STANDS every morning to take a piss and cant miss it) and put up a couple column where you detail the money your bro gives you for gas and the money his parents drain out every month and ask him how if hes going to support his parents where is the money going to come from for paying child support plus all the monthly bills. family is only as important as you make them and he needs to get rid of his and be a big boy. if they want to know his every move maybe perhaps you should suggest to his parents that he get his old room ready so he can move back in it or offer to move your entire family his kids your kids an all into THEIR house so that they can be in control and you can stay rent free and they can babysit.  all else fails change your phone number refuse to open your door and have all the accounts put in your name with only you being able to access them. or as suggested by the others then by all means kick his ass to the curb............ but thats up to you and how much more of this you are willing to deal with.
352966
You have been supportive of his ventures, please listen to me i have done this for my man for 12 years and i resent it very much. I feel i have nothing for my self, we almost split up not long ago and realized i had nothing for my self not even a job. Now i have decided to rebuild a life for me as well, he is supportive of it now but i don't thing he likes it very much. Go back to school do what you have to do. He will come to terms with it.
324998
Listen honey I have been in a bad relationship myself and know where you arecoming from you have to stand up for yourself and move on you say you can't leacve Why? they have got you to the point where you are wallowing in self pity just as they like you. What is happening here is domestic abuse and it has to end before you end first. For your childrens sake leave him if he don't like it tell him where to go ****himself or tell him if he loves you to stand up to his family for you though from the sound of it he is week as s**t no man should ever allow anyone including his family to run you down. I wish i could do more for you but sadly I can't if you need to chat though send me an email and I will keep chatting and offering no strings advice I am a voluntary member of the samaritans and will make timwe to chat if you need me.
264501
You are so selfish. It's all about money to you. It would be such a convenience to you if could just move in with him, no regard for how he or your kids feel. Maybe he knows this and that is why he is not moving the relationship forward. You need to give the poor guy a break and move away, learn how to deal with life on your own, and then try to get into a healthy relationship...
125223
Well one thing is certain - you are going to have to get the hell out of there for your sake and the sake of your kids.  This guy sounds like he has the maturity of a seven year old, he is pure selfishness.  Sure he wants to go with other girls, but I bet he'll sit around drinking beer, playing with himself and watching TV.  You're better off without him.  You obviously have a lot of love to give, and you want love in return - you're NOT going to get where you are - so you have to face up to that and move on.
133154
that freak has no respect for girls whatsoever..just look around u...u have so many answerers to support u. and he has no one except his nuch of cronies wholl eventually stab his bak. I know u hav to accept it. but u know what? accept it and use all those insuklts and mockery to tuffen up urself. I felt the same way too when people used to hit me and take my money away. i felt like killing myself and them...btu then i realised that they r not worth it.vermin like him r here to be ignored.And u arent sum dumb blond. Any more probs feel free to ask me personally, i am always hereto help people out.Keep ur chin up girl  ^_^
194882
he is probally lying to you about going out they always say that stuff to make you feel better.  it is not going to get better right away at first it will get worse. maybe you should talk to him and tell him how left out you feel and that it is his kid you are caring to it would be nice to spend time together.  maybe you should talk to him about moving back and see what he says.  If things didn't change with the bar situation and him always wanting to be with his friends and family i would tell him that i was moving back home that may change him and it may not. but that is totally up to you to decide what to do. i have a 4 month old baby and his dad used to kinda do the same thing with his friends and i told him if it didn't stop i was moving back home that useually works. if it don't maybe you should consider moving back by yourself because i can tell you it is very hard to raise a newborn by yourself because you have no job or anything. just ride things out for a while and see if he changes and actually sticks to his word.  congratulations on the baby and best of luck!!!!!
391525
I would'nt worry too much if i was you even though i know you're heartbroken i bet you any money he'll be back begging for forgiveness from you very soon.I agree with the rest that he's being controlled by his family it's pathetic just look at it as a blessing in disguise that thankfully you learned his true nature this early on: that he's a spineless toe-rag.Now you can look forward to meeting a real man with a bit of backbone who will appreciate and love you and treat you as you should be treated.Goodluck hun.
325960
I feel you. I think he could have try harder if he wanted to. I know the excuse "i forgot" or I was going to do it relax" and you didnt see shit done. If it is going to be like that I feel you should move out and take a break let him know you are not happy at all and you are under a lot of stress. What will he do without you. He needs to appreciate the things you do as a mother and wife. You need a man not another child you have to take care of. You must feel really lonely and yearning for a man.Take a break and try to relax, go out with friends and take a deep breathe.Try not to overthink yourself cause you will go crazy. I know you have bills to pay but figure out how to get out of this rotation with him cause after awhile it gets pretty tiring. I hope nothing but the best for you and take it one step at a time.
4452
You are not overreacting.  You're being quite understanding.  She's out of line and he should respect your feelings more.  If the tables were turned, I doubt he'd have this cool reaction.  You'll know when to leave, when you're tired of being tired.
534873
You are right and I totally agree with you. Maybe you can tell him exactly whats on your mind. Tell him that you pay your bills and he shouldn't be down playing the hard work you have been doing for you to afford nice things. He should be proud of you and letting people know he is with a real woman instead of making it sound like you are materialistic and distorting the fact. On the other hand he is probably little jealous too and he doesn't want you to get all that attention so when people compliment you, he wants to sabotage it a little. Just talk to him and make him understand that its not really fair. Good luck!