My parents are divorced..I am the only child they had together (I'm 30). I have a 4 year old daughter who needs surgery and hospitalization a lot. Thing is, my mom and dad HATE eachother and they put me in the middle to decide who "gets to see her at the hospital when she recovers", because they won't be in the same room together. When I do make a choice, one or the other gets mad at me. They make me choose subliminally who is the best grandparent...WHAT DO I DO!?!?! This happens at holdidays too...if I don't go to one's for dinner, the other gets miffed. HELP!!
218129
Talk about role reversals, they are being childish about this and your being cornered to being the parent of their situation.  In your daughters situation I would simply say you are both welcomed to visit when ever your available, if you don't want to be around when they other is then you settle that between yourselves, your both adults!  As for other arrangements that require you to schedule time for each because they no longer live together...that will have to be dealt with on a individual basis or for the holidays ...birthdays...have the festivities at your place and welcome both...that gives them equal opportunity to spend time with you and your daughter...not to mention being a family for family sake.
47624
People who know them all do not realize how lucky they are.  I work with someone who is pushing 40 and both grandparents on her mothers side are still kicking.  My father left when I was 4, so I met my grandmother only once.  When I was in the Navy though and stationed on the West Coast I was lucky enough to meet my grandfather.  On my mother's side I never met my grandfather, he and my grandmother divorced before I was born and I don't think my mother got along well with him.  I did know my grandmother though.  So in short, I knew only 1 from each side.
622546
You know what? This may hurt, but screw your parents. I've lived an awful life, and I could tell you my life story, but it would go on and on. I'll give you the short version. I have been tossed back and forth between my parents all my life. (they were never married, and never intended to be, I was just a big "accident.") I would go not seeing my mom for 7 years and then not seeing my dad for 4. It's really messed up. I moved in with my mom 4 years ago after not seeing her for the 7 years. I thought that her and I could heal things with time, plus my dad is a really awful person and I wanted to get away from him. Things were ok for a while, and then about a year ago I cam home from school and she was gone. Just gone. I found out that she had moved to another STATE to be with some guy she met on the internet. So now, I have no parents.  I'm going to be honest with you--it IS a hard road, and sometimes you are going to feel like you will never make it to see tomorrow. You just have to have faith in yourself. And guess what? I'm 18 now and I have my own place with the guy of my dreams, and for the first time in my life, I am TRUELY happy. So I wish you luck...reach for the stars and never give in on your dreams. If your parents really love you, then maybe someday in the future they will see past their mistakes...
333237
You need to sit down with your mother and be VERY clear that you are your child's parent, and although you appreciate that she loves and cares about your children, they are ultimately YOUR responsibility.  If this behavior continues, your children are going to become very disrespectful of you, and you will have NO authority over them because they will know that Grandma will bail them out.  It's a very bad situation.  Best of luck!!!
272005
It's really sweet that you're so concerned but, unfortunately, there's not much you can do.  They are the parents and they have to work out their own issues.  If it continues to be a problem, maybe you can express your concerns to a grandparent.  Maybe a grandparent could talk to your parents and let them know you're worried.  Just do your best to comfort your mom when she's sad!\nGood luck!
640192
first off keeping you and them apart is not a good idea, let them see  and observe you if they seek you out then interact but for the most part just be a presence for a bit. they need to size you up and test you out, their dad in their eyes failed and left so they feel that its possible you could do the same.their mom and you need to stand united dont avoid or work around the kids so much instead make them being around the two of an option, they saw mom and dad tense with each other and need to see that you two are not the same as mom and dad were. letting them go to dad is neither right or wrong, the only issue is will dad let them come back to mom if the kids so choose or will he fight to keep them in order to hurt mom. the kids may also resent someone taking moms time and attention after having her to themselves, when they asked for her she was there now sometimes they have to ask for dad since mom is with you, that is something that will work out, sharing mom, as they get used to a solid family unit. when parens split the mom or dad who has the kids will form a united front "them against the world" since they have to work so hard to keep it all together and its hard to trust anyone and let them join the cause but have faith they will come around and it will be all of you against the world.
409186
Oh yay, parents.\n\nFact is, she has no bearing on what you and your hubby do in rearing your children (biological or not). You are the functional unit. Tell her that. If she doesn't respect it...reduce the time she is allowed to be around you two. Tell her that you love her, but you have to keep the best interests of your family at heart and she is meddling in business she shouldn't bother with. Tell her that she either stopps or you will have to disallow visits with the kiddos to keep their best interest at heart.\n\nGrandchildren are a privlidge not a right. \n\n\nShe is your momma and I know you love her. I hate it when this type of thing happens. She is jealous of something, maybe it is because she wants to monopolize your love or maybe she is just alone. Tell her you want to help her and have her be a major part of your life and your childrens life. Offer family visits to the psychologist. Grandparents are a blessing and I know I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't have had my Dad's Mom and Dad involved in my life. However, it was a healthy involvement...\n\nI am sorry you are stuck in the middle. That sucks so bad.
25925
How old are your friends?  Being 13, your parents feel that you are much too young to be going out. If you really want to and as long as your friends are girls, maybe you could ask one of your parents to come along to chaperone.  Or maybe have one of their parents come along.  If they agree to do this, maybe after a while they may be willing to let you go alone with your friends. But remember, you must never break your trust with your parents. They are just concerned about your welfare.  Just so you know, I am a 49 year old parent and grandparent and I was just as concerned about my kids when they were growing up. Should you choose this advice, copy this and show it to your parents.  I'm sure they would agree if you had an adult parent going along with you and your friends as a chaperone.  They don't want to see you get in trouble which is very easy as a kid.  Good luck
126004
I am glad to hear their grandmother is doing better and it's nice that you're helping them all out during her recovery.  I take it that their parents are no longer around?\n\nAnyhow..\n\nI would first explain that certain terms/words and conversations are not appropriate conversation pieces for young ones.\n\nNext..\n\nTry these places...\n\nhttp://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3079195\nhttp://www.talkingwithkids.org/sex.html\n\nThe second link is good because it has other important topics they'll need answers to as well.
600264
My father was this way and still is for the most part. He suffers from post traumatic stress syndrome, it's a result of him being in a war. This is by far no excuse but with it being my father i feel that there is no way i could really just walk away from him. I maintain a relationship with him as best i can. When he gets to be verbally abusive i just chalk it up as him being the other side of the coin and walk away. Basically not taking it to heart, I know he loves me deep down but he just can't show how he feels because of certain things that went wrong in his life. If your parent is really abusive though and you just can't get past the fact that they are like then maybe the best thing for all is to walk away. I ,on the other hand, can't just walk away since i have small children and don't want to take their grandparent away from them. My father is never mean to the children. Yes he has yelled at them a little to much but that's when i pack them up and we leave. He knows that im not happy when i do leave and we tend not to go over there for a while. Most times he says he is sorry and things are ok for awhile.
349270
are you aware that not everyone has baby momma/daddy drama in their lives just because the parents aren't together.  are you secure with yourself?  if not then don't date someone with children. it's ok and don't worry about it, lots of people fee lthat way.  some people just don't like kids. but if you do decide to date some one with childen, then you have no choice but to deal with it.  that parent gets visitation with his/her kid/s and it's not about the mother/father or you.  they're divorced for a reasnon.  would you rather the parents didn't get along and the child to suffer for your insecurities? and what about the child that may not care for you, thinking you're trying to replace the natural parent? the relationship between child and parent is important, none of anyone business (unless it's abusive) and not about you.  lot at is as a positive, the parent is able to visit the kind at the kids home with maturity and knowledge that the kids mother has moved on.
454853
two different men, two different stories. your parents did the right thing, no one wants to see their child hurt. sometimes it isn't possibble to talk to someone, and sometimes depending on the man he straightens up. can't really compare the two. u should be happy your parents were there for u, and u had a way out of a bad situation. perhaps your in laws daughter didn't have the same kind of man as u did. some people can take critisism and learn from it, some can't.
73106
It's a tough situation.  I don't know if this will help you now but maybe later.  My Mom died when I was 12 and my father got a woman that I didn't like.  Grownups need someone to share their lives that they can communicate with in a loving manner.  I realized this and when my Dad asked me if I wanted him to leave her I knew that I could not replace the enjoyment she gave him.  So I told him I was happy that they were together.  He died of cancer a few years later, but they were happy years for him.  I guess adults need to feel affection and support from their partners and you may find benefits in having 1 parent, if not both, who are more content. I sympathize with you, just try to concentrate on your own life for now.  Things always change.
600576
Sounds like your mom was the glue holding the family together.  It's understandable that people would fall away from each other after her passing.  It's hard to go about our daily lives knowing that we should be a familly with ALL the family, people should want to spend time with each other and talk about their lives.  At least your not alone.  My husband and his brother recently got into a huge fight with the two of them wrestling around on the floor and somebody getting hurt.  That was a few months ago, and neither of them has even tried to apologize or be the bigger man and just forgive.  It is very frustrating especially when family functions or birthday parties come along and certain people have to be left out.  It is just not fair sometimes.  Just remember you can't change other people but you can decide that no matter what your siblings do or don't do you can control yourself and your actions, and live your life, they'll either come around or they won't, if they do great, if not, forgive them, and move on.
207407
When you truly love someone, you understand that sometimes families need each other. My dad only sees my stepmother, Kathy, a couple of times a month for the last 6 months. Her mother is aging and her father is dying of cancer. He is 87 and their is nothing really that any doctor can do for him short of kemo therapy. Kinda stupid to put an 87 year old man with advanced prostate cancer through all that, not to mention the daily 2 hour drive she must drag her mother along with to get to the hospital.  My father says, "I don't know why his doctor even recommended the kemo knowing his condition and what it would mean to Kathy, but I'm not going to take away the only thing she's got to hold on to."\n\nI think that is true love and understanding. How can you come between a family during times of crisis? If he is not willing to compromise I would just say to myself, "I gave it my best but I got to do what I got to do."
177041
honey you can't please both sets of parents. the big Question is " What do you want?" You have to set your mom down and tell her how you feel and what you want to do. That goes the same for your dad. Plus you need to tell your dad that it really hurts you when your stepmom makes those comments. You give me the impression that you feel like you have to please both parents and be perfect. You don't though. Sweetie be yourself and they'll love you. But you have to start by pleasing yourself first. GOOD LUCK
669802
In most states your daughter and the father have all of the rights over the child, if you have reason to believe that the child is in danger then you should seek legal counsel and find out what your state says about "grandparent rights". Some states have them and others do not. Usually though they will not take away the rights of the parents unless there is VERY serious evidence to support that this would be in the best interest of the child. Both parents have joint decision making rights right now.