My man works WAY to much, but when we talk about it he always says it's part of owning a business at least I still make time for you. When he says this he means Fridays and Satrudays he's not working!! I miss my man SO much does any one know of any ways to get him not to work so much?
204271
I use to own my own business and he is telling u the truth.  Alot of people think when u own your own business u can make your own hours and just come and go as u please.  Thats not neccessarily true!  You have to put ALOT of time into the business in order to make it run smoothly.  Thats one of the reasons I finally sold it- cuz it never ever gave me time to myself or my family.  Atleast he is reserving all of his weekends for you.  And atleast u know he is out working his butt off and not fooling around!  He could have worse habits!  Why dont u pop in every so often and take him to lunch?  Or stop in and pounce him in his office and give him a little afternoon delight!  If he cant get away then u go to him!!!!!  surprise him more often!  Good luck to u!
77117
Well, if he has to work he has to work. You can't get upset at him for that. If you feel he is just neglecting you I wouldn't invest anymore of my time into the relationship. He may care for you but honestly doesn't have enough time. You sound like a clingy woman so it would probably be in your best interest to find someone who can devote more time to you.
298463
You should be thankful to have a husband who works too much instead of a bum.  Men have their own reasons why they work too hard, in my situation my husband's reason is it is for us, his family.  He works hard so he can provide whatever we need and want all through out our lives because he loves his family so much.  He also works for self-fulfillment and I may say that there are people who are naturally born workaholic.  You see, when my husband is at home he never stops working, he cleans the house and does all household chores.  At first, it drives me crazy to see him work too much but as time passes I learned to accept the fact that he's a hyperactive man who needs to move all the time.  When it comes to our children, I explain to them that their father works all the time because he loves us.  That's why they should understand why they seldom see him because what he does is for all of us.  I don't know if your husband kisses or hugs your children but you see my children are very satisfied with my explanations to them and whenever my husband comes home he makes sure he kiss and hug our children even when they are already asleep.  I think it is very important for children to feel their father's love by simple gestures even if they seldom  see him.
38608
I just noticed your other post and you left out a fact in this post that all he wants to do all day is "play video games and sit and watch T.V." It is interesting to me that you left this fact out of this post and only focused on the employment issue. I think you realize what a ridiculous situtation you have worked your way into and are now floundering about trying to get your legs back under you. He undoubtably loves you totally because he now has no job, has video games, no responsibility, a woman that will work to support him, a roof over his head, food to eat, and someone to have sex with on a daily basis. What boy wouldn't love that. I refer to him as a boy although I don't know his age but based on what seems to be important to him.\n\nTHINK about it! Do you come home to a dirty or clean home? What is he teaching your daughters by example? More importantly, what impression of men is he sending to your daughters? Are you planning on marrying him? Are you able to accept the responsibility as breadwinner in the family? What will he do if you get pregnant again and cannot work, can you rely on him? Sometimes the feelings in our heart outweigh what we already know in our minds. Think it through carefully. \n\nDecide what you want to do based on your responsibility as a mother to your daughters and the unspoken promises you made to them when you brought them into this world. Their experiences in life will shape their future choices. Don't you want better for them?\n\nMy true thought, dump him. Live on your own with your daughters. There are several government programs to help the three of you. This will undoubtably be a huge change in their lives and they will need counseling which the government can provide. There are rent subsidies, food stamps, help with utilities, and so much more. You can even go to college for free. Get a better life for you and your daughters. Forget your heart for a while and think with your brain, you'll hopefully make much better choices in the future.
22155
Is it an option for him to get a different job? If so, does he want to, or does he like what he's doing?\n\nIf he's happy with his job, it's not fair to ask him to change it. Instead, find ways to make the most of your time together. Meanwhile, find something to keep yourself busy while he's at work. Get a job yourself, get a hobby, or be a volunteer somewhere.\n\nDr. Barb Nefer, http://www.bnlifeskills.com
664396
I do not like playing games either, but I do not think that you should make yourself readily available to anyone. I mean most of us dodge our jobs and we KNOW that we are going to get paid for the time we put in. You do not know him well, you do not know where this is going. Slow down if he is what you think he is there will be plenty of time for the two of you to spend together. And on the contrary this is your world! Especially in this situation! All I can say is take your time if he is worth it saying well I kind of made other plans today is it OK if we reschedule this for (2 days later), will not turn him around. I think you are saying to yourself gotta get it while the getting is good. That's why you jump on it every time he calls. It seems that you would like to keep him around for some time so take some time. If you turning him down turns him away then that is just letting you know that he is not the person that you thought or hoped he was.
589735
Well the simple fact that the two of you are working  two jobs each is a big part of the problem. Why are you? He's tired, your tired and it becomes something else to be done sometimes, instead of being a fun part of your relationship.\n\nIf it's possible try to cut back some of your hours, so that you guys can have some quality time with each other. Or at least a day off together. That will hopefully lead to sex. \n\nTry to sit down and talk to him about how you feel he might not really realize how much your sex life has gone down.\n\nI'm still going through this madness with my boyfriend only the roles are reversed. \n\nDrop me an email if you neeed someone to talk to.
78438
its almost too mature,you should have more free time for yourself,its not too healthy to always work.you are only 18 yrs old.that person should get off of there lazy ass and work instead of sponging off you.i admire your responsibility though.
521075
It is difficult to get it all in one go. The days you are working, and weekends are free for you but not for him. Does he need to devote his time to his students evety Saturday? Could he not swap say twice a month so that he can spend time with you and the children?\n\nIm sure there are ways around it, be it him only doing it once or twice a month. If its money, could you not try working a little extra to compensate?Im probably getting this all wrong but without being in your shoes I can only put ideas there.\n\nThere are winners here, the question is are you both prepared to sit down and work it out? In a mothers eyes, we dont see where the problem lies with sacrificing one day a month to go on a family outing.  But this is a man who is obviously devoted to his career and he enjoys what he does.\n\nIt doesn't mean that he doesn't get to see his family in the process.
140673
Well you need to sit him down and w/ his planner and find a time when he can schedule you in for dinner or movies or whatever. When ever I'm in a long term relationship I like to have one day out of the week where me and my partner can get together and spend time w/ each other. And its very hard to do that sometimes because of our busy schedules but explain to him that for a relationship to last you all need that alone time together to laugh and talk. That if you all don't do this now a couple of months from now who knows where the relationship will be.
301098
The key here is that he usually tells you when he is going to work past his shift and this time he didn't call you. So, he's already established a pattern/habit of calling you when he's not coming home right away. Not calling you wasn't a "slip of the mind" but a "choice" on his part.\n\nHunting... for what?\n\nDoes he usually "hunt" after working eight hours through the night? Does he carry his rifle/shotgun in his vehicle, along with ammunition, license, bag/box for game. etc? Does he have hunting clothes/shoes in his vehicle? Is it hunting season in your area?\n\nHow long did it take him to get home from that "hunting" session and did you check to see if his explanation was plausible? Mud on shoes? Game? Used shells? Grass, weeds, stickers on pants?\n\nSuspicions arise because something is different. Go with your gut. \n\nQuietly investigate your instincts. Check phone cell records, email, mileage to and from work, etc. \n\nYou deserve peace of mind. Good luck!
468592
Yes you are possessive. You say hes good to you all week? Then you say he is with you friday night and or saturday? So he gets time with his friends once or twice a week. That is not unreasonable.\n\nGive him some space. No guy is going to put up with you smothering him and not letting him have space. You dont need him 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Let the guy breathe, lady.
172753
They don't always let you down, but your boyfriend surely is.  Why isn't he working?  I know you know this, but he won't change.  You don't have to move home, but you might want to move out of this relationship.  And take him off of your accounts!\n\nGood luck.
94056
IN my experience, in talking to other men, even though they love their wives and families, being at the job is less of a hassle.\nPlus if he loves what he does, then that is also a motive.\n\nDon't take it too personally, but it might not be a bad idea to discuss it openly with him, and ask if there is something you can do to make your home more 'inviting' to him.  \n\nALso, you will get the TYPICAL cynical, "he's cheating" crap from several of these negative people on here.  That is possible in any relationship, not just someone working "overtime".\n\nJust a suggestion.  I hope it works out for you..
428413
You need to ask him becuz i dealt with this same issue with my bf.  At first, i just got on here and asked the same question.  then, I said, you know what i am going to ask my man.  I asked him that same night and he told me that he was depressed and had too much stuff on his mind in regards to his life.  Read my blogs and see how that is going....he may be worried about something that is going on at the job or something, but guys wont tell you unless you ask
362244
well -- how about i tell you what i do and maybe you'll get some ideas.... i'm a nurse that had a baby and wanted to stay home with him instead of putting him in daycare. my husband didn't want the loss of my paycheck and gave me a lot of grief about going back to work but ALSO expected me to do all the "real" parenting, house cleaning, cooking, etc. i told him if i went back to work that he would have to split everything 50/50 and he agreed. i told him the very first day he didn't do one of "his" new split duties i would quit my job on the spot.... as in if it's his turn to change a diaper and he didn't do it -- i wouldn't go back to work the next day because i'm not going to be walked on like that...if i'm a homemaker, then i'm a homemaker...if i'm a nurse, then that's what i'm going to be and he can hire a housekeeper, cook and nanny. he agreed to split the job duties.....well, a couple of days before i was going to start a new job, i started him out on the split duties....needless to say....i'm now a very happy stay-at-home mom. i keep the house, cook dinner and take care of my son. as far as your concern about him wanting you to answer your phone right away...that's controlling behavior. remind him you're an adult and tell him where he can stick it next time he gets mad. then quit your job.   :)
325960
I feel you. I think he could have try harder if he wanted to. I know the excuse "i forgot" or I was going to do it relax" and you didnt see shit done. If it is going to be like that I feel you should move out and take a break let him know you are not happy at all and you are under a lot of stress. What will he do without you. He needs to appreciate the things you do as a mother and wife. You need a man not another child you have to take care of. You must feel really lonely and yearning for a man.Take a break and try to relax, go out with friends and take a deep breathe.Try not to overthink yourself cause you will go crazy. I know you have bills to pay but figure out how to get out of this rotation with him cause after awhile it gets pretty tiring. I hope nothing but the best for you and take it one step at a time.