I am confused about the morality of SEX. People bring out their Bibles when they want to say its wrong - but are having it off in the next room (huh ?????). If people get married later e.g. late 30's or even 40's are they supposed to be CELIBATE up until that time ?  Is that realistic ?  All answers would be appreciated.  Even Psychologists or Preachers if they care. Surely there are tens of thousands of young men & women who face this problem every day of their life ?  How do you resolve it friends.\nP.S.  Thanks Yahoo Answers - for letting us discuss these sort of questions without having to resort to PORN sites or silly "blogs" where the responses are often just ridiculous.
200797
I really don't think it's an issue of what's wrong or right or if you "sin" that's a bad thing.  The point of all the preaching is about what is best for you spiritually.  The people that do the preaching have turned it into what's bad and good and make it a morality issue.  \n\nReally, what you need to think about is what does sex do to you.  Promiscuous sex solely for seeking pleasure can run the risk of addiction, disease, etc., and isn't good for the soul or heart.  In a karmic sense, sex in marriage as an expression of love is less of an attachment - meaning one is less likely to get caught up in it and with love and responsibility of the marriage it kind of nullifies the lust from sex.\n\nSo the question is what is your spiritual quest or goal?  Nothing?  Just getting to heaven?  Or do you want to become a saint?  If you just want to get to heaven then I don't think sex in marriage or with commitment and love will keep you from that.  If you're looking to be a saint then letting go of desires and being celibate is probably necessary.
667501
So, according to the other Christians' answers, it is ok for married people to enjoy sex, sex isn't only for procreation, but sex is created for two people who love each other, but sex ouside of gay marriage is wrong? If the only argument against homosexuality is "the Bible says so." The Bible says a lot of things, do you accept them all equally?  Paul also says women shouldn't wear their hair braided or wear jewelry, do you abide by that? If not, then does that mean you are judging some things as applicable and other things not? What is the basis of that?\nTHINK PEOPLE!
297172
It's totally relative. I don't think that there's anything wrong with having pre-marital sex if the context around it is right. There's no way for us to know what God thinks about it. Some religious people would think that it was alright if it was in the context of a loving and caring relationship and birth control were used. Others would say that it is a terrible sin and that we shouldn't even use birth control. What could possibly make one of these views more valid then the rest? I think that a lot of people would think that at 17 you are ready to make a responsible decision about sex and I am one of these people. If you think that you are going to feel guilty about it then don't do it. If you think that you love her and it will help you express your love, then consider it.
225519
You sound somewhat like me a year ago. I don't have Christian values, but I valued myself enough that I didn't take sex lightly. I waited until I was 21 and would have waited longer if I had not found the perfect guy that I know I want to be with forever. Stick to what you believe and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There is NOTHING wrong with being a virgin and waiting until you're ready to have sex. Worry about school, that's the most important part, not what your friends think.
93191
You will tend to get pat answers becaus that is all that some Christians, and people of other beliefs, have heard or learned.  I try to do as the Bible says and be ready to give answers to the faith that lies within me.  It is tough to figure out other ways to explain things and sometimes the only answers are pat answers.  I like having answers that can be associated to the world as well.  IE.  Pat answer to why you should not engage in premarital sex...The Bible says not to.  I will say that, but will also point out STD's, pregnancy, comparison of lovers, etc.  I try to think out answers as the Jewish do.  They study the Talmud very closely and have a very strong knowledge of their beliefs.
307992
Good question. don't know for sure til it happens. I plan to wait until marriage to have sex, and if I never marry, I may remain a virgin for the rest of my life. So I suppose I could, but is it really fair to expect that? I am sure that is part of your point. Why should homosexuals be expected to do something heterosexuals are not expected to do? I don't believe homosexuality is wrong, just different from society's definition of the norm. It might make reproduction difficult, but not everyone wants to have kids anyway. only God knows someones heart and the decision should be made between the people involved and God. don't worry about the opinions of others.
594547
Our culture predetermines that coveting and lusting with the eyes is simply unavoidable. The issue here is what are your intentions toward this person..if you feel a love and commitment that is headed for a lifetime spent together then in effect you are lusting after your own wife. If you see her not as a sex object but as a person worthy of respect as well as the admiration for her feminine beauty then you are simply doing what comes natural. Have you ever read Song of Solomon? Yeah...desiring your partner is not sinful..however, there is something to be said for modest dress and staying in appropriate venues while spending time together. Even for young unmarried christian couples the temptation is there. Right now everything is geared toward weakening your defenses...girls going around barely dressed letting all their business hang out everywhere, access so easy to porn, condoms and birth control, privacy..both in the parents home and set up as a young adult in dorms and apartments, not to mention the pervasive message that sex and love are synonymous when actually they have nothing to do with each other in the long run. Being single and a christian in this American culture is torture at times...just keep praying, talk to her and confess how you feel, if needs be set up perameters and ask her to dress modestly for your sake...or heck..the best bet is..if you guys are of age...GET MARRIED! What ya waiting for? If you are too young to be marriage minded and are not ready for a commitment..then you shouldn't be dating...that's my opinion though and who am I but a frumpy house frau. God bless you though..cuz you do care and you want to do what's right..just pray, stay in the Word of God and you'll be fine. Love in Christ, ~J~  <><  P.S. Jesus was speaking about adultry...lusting with your eyes for someone else other than the person you are "MARRIED" to...however, if you are lusting after your girlfriend and all 10 of her friends plus and also every other female that crosses your line of vision..well, then..perhaps this verse does apply to you. Catch yourself and get in the habit of stopping cold those thoughts...it can be done..this is called self disapline.
67851
The Bible does not mention ************. ************ has been around for thousands of years - if God hated it, He would say so!\n\nThe Bible does say that God dislikes perverted thoughts about other people - so if you're fantasising about a married person whilst doing it, yes that would be wrong!!\n\nSome people are so desperate to 'prove' that the Bible disapproves of ************ that they misquote a single passage in the Old Testament where a man withdrew from his wife and 'spilled his seed on the floor' to use her and stop her having a baby that he'd promised to try for. Clearly that's condemning what he did to his wife - NOT ************.\n\nThe Christian life can be a very difficult one to live. When churches start to add 'extra' rules ("don't **********", "don't date anyone until you're 18", "no alcohol at all", etc etc) that aren't in the Bible, people always seem to break them. Then they FEEL as though they're sinning because they're disobeying the church - whn in reality, churches need to be very careful not to ask unnecessary and difficult things of their congregations.\n\n************ is not a sin BUT if it CAUSES you to sin, THEN you should stop!
208575
NO. not at all. First of all, I would like to congratulate you two. You're a match made in heaven. Basically, the bible states that sex is a blessing given to married couples. If you're just living together and not having sex, that's absolutely perfect. It's the most exciting thing you can have once you get married. But if you guys are married but not having sex... then there really is a problem behind that. Try talking to your partner about that.
613162
Now this is a christian retreat right? So you want to make some treats for the couples, let me see if they are going for a retreat I would think it is to learn more about each other and to find their self. I guess the sex treats might be okay but I am not sure all the couples might be okay with this. Have you spoken to all of them about this?
78638
Are you kidding me?  God wants us to take delight in our spouses.  Sex isn't just for procreation.  Otherwise why would it feel so good?  He would have made it about as much fun as planting a garden.  My husband and I are both born-again Christians.  The only reason I don't moan loud is because I have kids in the house.  I too say read the Song of Solomon.  That book is quite direct about the pleasures of sex.  And it is in the Bible.
427653
The only way a man can legally have sex (by Biblical standards) is to do it in the institution of marriage. All other sexual encounters outside of marriage is sin. Promiscuous sex is not condoned by God. We have many in this country that are living together, having sex, families, etc. without being married. The Bible clearly defines this activity as an abomination. Sorry, I didn't write the rulebook, but you asked. I am 60 years old, and I have been married to the same woman for 35 years, and have never had sex with anyone else. God's rules work if you let them. I am proud of marriage, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for asking - it allowed me to respond!!
499782
First of all, as a fellow brother in Christ, I want to commend you on your commitment to save sex for marriage. Too often we see people today giving into the pleasure of a few minutes, only to suffer a lifetime of pain and hurt in the future.\n\nI don't normally answer questions on here, but the situation you are in is too similar to mine for me to ignore.\n\nI have been a Christian all my life, and constantly seek to glorify Him by living and dedicating my life to Him. I also believe that sex is the ultimate expression of physical love, and is the most special gift anyone can present to the person that they want to dedicate the rest of their life to. If someone commits premarital sex, they are giving that gift away, and tarnishing any future romantic relationships they may have.\n\nNow, obviously, I am a virgin; and am extremely proud of this fact. I cannot wait to let my future wife know that I've saved myself for her. Instead of channeling my energy and resources to fulfill sexual needs, I instead look to strengthen my character and serve others.\n\nBut I've recently fallen for this girl.... She's a born again Christian, who was saved this past summer. However, her previous life was filled with sin, as she drank and had sex with guys before me, enough guys to number on 2 hands.\nI was so devastated when I found out. I was literally torn because I only had one romantic relationship before this point, and had only gone as far as a kiss.\nNeedless to say, I was more than a little hurt. In fact, I don't believe anything or anyone else hurt me as much as she did when she told me that.\nI was ready to just end things at that point.\n\nBut then I remembered. If God, who is the only one who is perfect and holy, can forgive us for all our sins without judgment, who are we to judge others and use their past against them. If she really came to God after her mistakes of the past, and surrendered herself to his forgiveness and mercy, then she is literally, emotionally, and spiritually a new person.\nGod calls us to forgive one another, and if a perfect God can forgive our sins, both past and current, without question (as long as we are sincere!) and love us with the greatest love of all; shouldn't we as Christians (who are also guilty of sin) replicate that love toward one another?\n\nI'm not saying it's easy. My heart aches and burns daily from the suffering that her past brings to me. But I trust that God will allow us to overcome this obstacle, and allow our relationship to prosper. As the first guy she even kissed after God came into her life, I know that she's changed.\nI'm going to continue to trust in God that He will allow me to get over her past; because who she is now is someone who makes me happy and has allowed me to experience love.\n\nIf you really love your girlfriend, pray about it. She's a new person now, she has Jesus in her.\nPlease keep Jesus Christ in the center of your life and of your current relationship. That's the only way that your relationship will be able to reach it's true potential.\n\nBe blessed.\n\nIn Him....
612475
Religion often makes us feel guilty about the most common human experiences, usually related to sex. This clearly contradicts nature. Sex is sex. If you're of the legal age, with another consenting adult, and aware of the risks/protection, then knock yourself out. This really has nothing to do with morals, mostly just religion.
278983
i had a christian friend who claimed she was "saving herself for marriage",however i found a huge vibrator under her bed. i guess she lost hers to a piece of plastic.\nhope this helps.
439674
I'm a Catholic. I know of a regional priest here who left the Church to marry a woman. He's now an Episcopal priest. As the media is all too happy to inform us, there are also a number of gay priests out there. I suppose that some priests find the Church's demands for a  celibate clergy too much to live up to. That may be the real issue, with the gay-vs-straight issue being something of a smokescreen (gay or straight, celibacy isn't for everyone). I know that celibacy was certainly a concern of mine when I was considering becoming a monk (a move that would've required me to emotionally and physically abandon my girlfriend). What people aren't concentrating on is the vast majority of priests who handle it just fine and are doing their jobs efficiently.
196549
If a couple want to wait untill they are married before having that sort of contact, it is their choice.\n\nReligion is about control (note I said religion and not faith), so religion's will attempt to interfere with society to gain power.\nSocieties tend to go through phases where they are more and then less permissive with regards to sex. Maybe we are becoming less permissive overall at the moment.\n\nUlimately I believe it should be the choice of the people what they do, not some kind of coercion or guilt trip from a religion.