There were 2 guys and a blond girl at a bar. One guy says we were the first to walk the earth. The other guy says says were the first to walk the moon. The girl says well Im gonna be the first to walk the sun. And they looked at her and say no one has ever walked the sun, youll burn!!! She says duh well go at night!!!
202310
try to put in the funniest blonde joke and u may get some thumbs up.
556216
o for me? aw i dont know what to say hey ill give u 10 points if u giver me 10 search for how big is the sun ill vote u no 1 evan if u dont vote me no 1!!:) say to big
98437
Talking symbolically about the moon!
358503
well to research this i picked up my telephone and hit '0'. I asked the girl who picked up, 'why is the world flat?' she hung up on me, the idiot. so that was no good at all. \n\nthen i YIM'ed this girl i don't know very well that i just met over the internet. she said "because people haven't traveled into space yet. lol." \n\nthen i posted a myspace bulletin that said "why is the world flat" as a title, then "tell me" as the body. no one has answered, probably because everyone on my friends list hates me. oh well. \n\nthen i joined a random religious chat room on yahoo and asked out of the blue, "why is the world flat?". somebody replied, "its not" and went on to talk about something else. the dorks. ah well, its not like i was a bit weird about it lol.\n\nmy friend then told me to join this site called gaiaonline.com. so i did, and posted a bulletin that said 'why is the world flat' and 'tell me' just as i did on myspace. my answers were, respectively, "49," "Because it's god's hamburger," "so the aliens can play chess,"  "cuz of jesus," "Because if you stand, and look out towards the ocean, you can see the edge. Scary!" "It's a moldy pancake." "I'm going with the chess board idea because chess can answer just about anything anyone can ever think of!" "The world is stuck in a giant waffle maker. Didn't you know Earth is just a waffle cone for an even bigger universe that happens to be a giant ColdStone?" and "you're backwards. that's ok. "\n\nso NOW i'm a bit confused as to why i think the world is flat. i myself always thought that it was like that because the great ninja warrior above once accidentially chopped off the bottom and top parts of our planet, rendering it flat. ah well. \n\ni think somebody out there knows the REAL answer, but they aren't telling me because they like to keep it a secret. tis a conspiracy. so until i find out who it is, these answers shall have to do us for now. when i do find the person witholding this vital information, (and finish with kicking their butt for keeping us all on the hook,) i shall let you know. i promise.
19571
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the\nbalcony.\n\n"Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.\n"Help us, help us!" yells the other.\n"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.\n"Good idea," said the other.\n"Together, together!"
369933
Hey!!!  How did the news of my antics reach India?  You guessed it …I am the man who won all the bets at the bar.  The best part was the pissing all over the bartender…LOL…I say.  “I bet you are not going to give me the ten points.”
623231
Caution:  I go from 0 to Bi*ch in 3.5 seconds.\n\nWhy does the blonde keep failing her driver's test?  B/c everytime the car stops, she jumps in the backseat!\n\nWe'll get along fine as long as you realize I'm God.\n\nMy bulldog's cuter than you!!\n\nWitches Do It in Circles!\n\nMy Karma ran over your Dogma.\n\nTree Hugging Dirt Worshipper.
493536
Let's do a thought experiment.Imagine that you had a giant compass and drew a circle about 12 feet in diameter on your school parking lot. You are going to be the earth so you stand in the center where the giant stick pin of the compass went. Pick a friend to be the moon. She is going to walk along the path of the  circle and you are going to face her at all times and observe carefully what you see. First have her look in one direction as she marches along the path - like maybe looking at the school building or maybe facing north. Make sure her entire body faces the same way at all times. In other words, she moves in a circle but does not rotate her body. Notice that you see her from the front at times, then the left side, back, right and front again. Now. Compare this to the moon. If the moon didn't rotate we would see all sides of it during the course of its almost one month journey around the earth. In other words, if the moon did NOT rotate we WOULD be able to see the back side.  Now, have your friend do the same as before but this time have her face you at all times so you cannot see her back - only her front . Now. Ask her what she saw in addition to you and she will say that part of the time she saw the school house and part of the time she was even facing away from it and finally ended up facing the school again. She faced first north, then east, then south, then west and finally north again. In other words, she turned in a complete circle while her face was turned toward you at all times. This is what the moon does. One face of the moon is turned toward the earth at all times. In order for that to be true it must rotate, just like your friend. The secret is that it rotates on its axis at the exact same speed as it revolves in its path about the earth. The reason for this behavior is that the moon is captured by the earth's gravity.
8078
Duh! The South Pole!  Yeah, I was the bright one in my science class that figured it out for my classmates.  They all had dumb experssions on their faces.
399791
This is the second dumb question you've asked tonight.  Stop it.  You know exactly who invented the moon walk.  Are you trying to be funny?
356930
One of my first dates was a total disaster. We had plans to drive to a a zoo in a city about 3 hours away. First off there was road construction so we had to take a detour, the detour was not marked clearly and we got lost. We spent two hours trying to find our way back. We stopped for dinner at some little dive of a restaurant. When the server came around, he was carrying the tray with food on it for us and another table. I ended up having two plates of food in my lap. No change of clothes. So we drove around trying to find a mall. When we finally found one I was too embarrassed to walk around like that. The guy actually swapped jeans with me, eventhough my jeans were wayyy too tight on him. He walked around cracking jokes to everyone and had me laughing my *ss off. We got me a pair of new jeans, and swapped back once we got out to the car. When we do finally get to the zoo, we had an hour till it closed. But we figured what the hell, we'd already been through alot to get there. So we're walking around, and go into the primate house. One end had glass, but at the top it was wire cage. We got p*ssed on (good thing we weren't looking up). So the whole drive home we both drove with the windows down cause the smell of monkey p*ss was so strong we were both sick lol. I actually ended up marrying the guy :D.
592008
electirc train can't blow smoke\nDes-my name\n\nQuestion: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?\nAnswer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. \n\n"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked, \n\n"Where did you get that?"\nThe pig replied, \n"I won her in a raffle!"\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.\n\nThinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.\n\nShe showed him the instructions on the tin, \n\n"For best results, put on two coats".\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.\nFirst Blonde: \n\n"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!\nSecond Blonde: \nWell you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.\n\n\nThe first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, \n\n"I think they could be bird tracks."\n\nThe second blonde went to look and said, \n\n"No, I think these are deer tracks."\n\nThey stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,\n\n\n"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, \n\n"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.\n\nSure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, \n\n"I can't take this, you're my friend."\nBut the blonde insisted saying, \n"No. A bet's a bet."\n\nThen the redhead said \n\n"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."\n\nThe blonde replied \n\n"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.\n\nWhen she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in
31158
they didn't 1969. Sure think about it - how could they have? It was just a conspiricy to show up russians because they had got a man in space. That was the great thing that happened. The first real person on the moon was not until 1974.
656091
*News: 3 chimps escaped from the zoo. 1 was caught playin football, 1 was caught watchin tv and 1 was caught readin this sms.\n*I miss you and I want to be with you but this stupid secruity guard want let me in the zoo without a ticket.\n*A boy and his girlfriend are watchin a movie in a theatre, a mosquito enters into the girls skirts and gues where it bites.....guess in the boys hand.\n*God made whiskey god made pepsi god made me so damn sexy. God made rivers god made lakes god made you well everybody can stand to make one mistake.\n*A *smile* is a sign of joy, a *hug* is a sign of love, a *laugh* is a sign of happiness, a *friend* like me is a sign of "your damn good choice\n*Wakey, wakey, rise n shine out of bed into mines Ur so sexy, ur so fine need ur body on top of mines if u want me in the sack lick ur lips n text me back!\nIf you like these and want more contact me and let me know.
51294
Theres 3 guys that work at a construction site a cute blond guy, a black guy and a mexican every day they eat lunch togethere on the high beams. One day the black guy opens up his lunch box and says chicken wings every day I open this box and theres chicken wings, then the mexican guy opens his and says buritoes evey day i open mine up theres burritoes , then the white guy opens his and says peanut butter and jelly every time i open mine up theres peanut butter and jelly so the black guy says if he opens the box one more day to find chicken wings hes going to jump, so the mexican and white guy says the same if they have the same thing there jump too. so the next day its lunch time and the black guy opens up his lunch box and theres chicken wings so he jumps, the mexican is scared but opens his and theres burritoes so he jumps well then the white guy opens his and theres peanut butter and jelly so down he goes too. well since they was such good friends they decide to have the funeral togethere  and the wifes are sitting around talking and the black mans wife said if she knew he didnt want chicken wings she would of never fixed chicken wings then the mexican mans wife said if she knew he didnt want burritoes she would have never fxed burritoes then the white mans wife said dont look at me he fixed his own lunch.\n\nlol thats the first blond guy joke ive ever heard
454555
Cartman - of course men walked on the moon.\n\nIgnoring all the tosh that the TV programme came up with (which has been shot down in flames so many times now I've lost count) and the fact that some people on here seem to be happy to believe any old rubbish without so much as a cursory look at the evidence, there are three things that clinch it for me.\n\n1. The moon rock that was brought back is different from anything anywhere else on Earth and has been portioned out to so many different universities and research labs that someone by now would have said that the rock was hoaxed.\n\n2. NASA employed thousands of people during the Apollo missions. None of them (other than one or two nut-cases who are trying to make a name or, more likely a bit of fast cash) have said that it was all a hoax. Don't you think that far more people would have come out and said something by now.\n\n3. Last, but absolutely not least, the Apollo missions left an experiment on the surface of the moon that allows an Earth-bound laser to be fired at it and reflected back to Earth so that the distance from Earth to Moon can be measured with extreme accuracy. I believe this measurement is taken with monotonous regularity. How would this be possible unless one of the astronauts set the reflector up on the surface of the moon?\n\nSo to answer your questions.\n\nThe kit they used may look like it came from Blue Peter, but then so did the ships that first crossed the Pacific or the Atlantic (how about Heyerdahl's balsawood raft Kon-Tiki ?)\n\nDon't get misled by the old computing power routine. It is perfectly possible to achieve many, many things without the aid of a computer. All a computer does is to speed up the processes. We are all losing sight of this fact as we get wrapped up in technology.\n\nDon't know what you mean by never attempted it again. The Apollo missions landed 12 men on the moon - what could be benefited by going again?  If you go back to my point 2, the amount of money required for the Apollo missions was colossal - NASA's funding was massively reduced and focus shifted to reusable space craft (the shuttle), and manned satellite stations (SkyLab) as the next step towards exploration further afield.\n\nIt has been proved a zillion and one times that the flag "fluttered" because it was wired to make it stand up. As there is no atmosphere on the moon (and therefore no air resistance), once the flag wire was touched or let go it continued to flex backwards and forwards (ie. it fluttered).\n\nWe have a tendency to underestimate the capability of previous generations. Thats why we have people who say aliens built the pyramids and space astronauts built Macchu Picchu. Let's (for once) celebrate the ingenuity and undeniable bravery of the men who risked their lives in the pursuit of exploration.
401478
You just hold your taters, I'm going to tell you a story that happened a few years ago.\nIt was Thanksgiving Day and we had been cooking dinner for days, pies, rolls, etc.  We had invited a whole lot of people, but we wern't sure if Matt would be back in time or not, you see, he was out chasing down the Dalton Gang, cause they robbed another bank in a nearby town.\nAny hows, as we were sitting down to eat, Matt walks in with a smile on his face and Fetus pops up with, "Well, look who actually stopped working long enough to have a meal."\nNow Miss Sunshine was dying to sit next to Matt, cause she had a crush on him that wouldn't quit, you know there are some things that just can't be explained.\nAny way, Matt walks over and smiles at Miss Sunshine and then proceeds to go over and sit down next to Miss Kitty.\nMiss Sunshine realized then that it was just another day..another heartache and the sun'll come out, tomorrow, even tho it proved that her darling Matt still preferred Miss Kitty, and Sunshine would go home and dream about her beloved Matt, cause no one can take her dreams away from her.