I had two guys come into my life about a year ago, and I chose one to date. Remained friends with the other. Of coarse they don't lik each other. Well the friend is leaving for Iraq in like 2 weeks. I really want to see him. Is it wrong. I've talked to the bf about it...he acts understanding...but I know better...
202973
If your boyfriend trusted you, he would not care at all.  And if he doesn't trust you, you need to ask yourself why you are still in the relationship with him.  If you loose trust in a relationship, you loose it all.  I say go and see your friend before he leaves!!!
287668
No, it certainly isn't enough to keep a relationship going. You have to have lots of patience and be able to communicate. Communicating certainly is tough right now and that's where the patience comes in. (Patience is also absolutely necessary when it comes to stubborn people as well!) Plus everything going on around us is bringing a lot of confusing feelings into play right now. That's not helping the situation and deployment just complicates matters. You guys are the only ones who will know if you can get through these tough times, but he mostly needs your support right now. He's physically in a world far far away from the life he's used to... and mentally, who knows where?
647592
i can see his side ---of wanting to come back, full force, make mad love----it sounds very romantic...especially since he's coming back from war. \n\nhowever---i don't think it's wrong to ask him to wait. as romantic as the scenerio in his brain sounds, in reality, you are not ready for it. you are not nearly as intimate as before---however---if you still love him, it will come back. it will take time though. it might even feel weird to hold hands at first----but sooner or later, it'll seem natural, and just keep going from there. \n\nhaha, one thing tho, is that all this might fly out the window when you see him get off that plane. it will be a big flood of emotions and you just might get caught up in the moment....then, anything goes....
354044
You guys live in a different state.  What do you expect to happen?  Do you expect him to be alone?  What has failed here is your understanding when people are far apart.  It's your responsibility to be realistic, not him.  It would help if he did his part, but that's not the issue here.\n\nIt's you and your false expectations about relationships-particularly when you live far from your mate, in a different State.\n\nSorry sweetheart.  \n\nI'm guessing he said that not to hurt your feelings and he has no intention of doing so, but he's a human being and so are you.\n\nCall him and tell him that this is not realistic and to maintain a friendship.
358724
Well actually I would distance myself from the bf.  He is taken and no matter what you should respect that. \nThis happened to me once too. And I acted on it.  I pretty much lost a great friend.  \nBottom line is ...  Guys come and go.. but friends are the ones that stick around.\nYou need to ask yourself.. Is this guy worth your friendship?
592970
Nope its not cos u only maintained a friendly relationship with the guy ur talking till wee hours...unless u both had a mutual understanding...as for your bf u said u don't see him for weeks nor talk to him over a week well If I'm on ur shoes i will made a decision for this...if u wear on LDR its okay but if you live with in the same area  its not good and healthy relationship when you see him now then don't for weeks.....do something before u get stray in ur relationship.
629823
Enjoy the trip! Stop focusing on what CAN go wrong, believe me if you continue to worry about it, it will. Take it as it comes, if the two of you love each other and are willing to honestly try, there is no reason it can't work out. My husband and I were both in the Navy on constant back to back deployments when we were dating and made it through, though it was a struggle sometimes. Now, he's in Iraq and I only see him ever 4 months for 2 weeks per visit. It's still hard, but our faith in each other and our love for each other hasn't and won't change. You simply have to be willing to trust each other and let the small things slide. Be grateful for the time you have together and when you do see each other, focus on that.
237470
you are making an excuse "can't keep...living through him."\nif you wanted to be with him you would go with him.\nif you don't want to go overseas, don't.\nit seems completely reasonable that you simply prefer to stay where you are.\nyou are ready to settle down but feel awkward about pressuring him to do so.
621282
If there was a friendship b4 the relationship, then yeah I'd probably would be a little sad too.  But if you all just started dating and it's been only a month, girl please you're not in love press on.  Trust me once he leaves and you never see him again, you will cope in no time, enjoy yourself and go out w/the girls to get your mind off him. Trust me you'll be okay, if you're not I'll give you $100 dollars.
644145
would you believ the same thing has just happend to me. bout 4 months ago i ran into this guy i went to school with and we started chatting and i got his number. later in the week i got a msg from him and we were talking about school and how we were friends and how i used to really like him. he then replied that he liked me and wish he had relised what he had missed out on in school and he should have hooked up with me.\nwe continued to msg each other and after a week he said that he still had feelings for me. the only problem with the whole situation is i met another guy and now im engaged, i got so confused on what to do but he still says now that he really likes me and i should leave the other guy. of course im not.\nAnyway the point to all this is yes there is a chance for you both as long as neither of you are in a relationship. a way to find out is by saying that you used to like him and find out where you stand with him. invite him out for dinner or a movie or something and try and spend time with him. you will soon know if he likes you or not.\nGood luck and hope this helps
376056
I'd say calm down!  First, someone is going to get hurt.  That is not the end of the world so try and put that out of your mind.  Second, I think your decision comes down to whether or not you want to settle down.  That is the decision you have to make.  Guy #1 wants to settle down, Guy #2 sounds like he doesn't.  If you're ready to settle down, the choice is pretty clear.  Dating two different people is always messy, and you're going to have to be prepared for some fallout because of it.  However, if you make your decision firmly and honestly, you'll minimize the damage.  Good luck.
530056
Geez, I'm in a rut right now with one.  I want to believe something will really happen, but the longer it goes, and his stories change, I"m starting to feel he's making me play games now.  \n\nI have however made 2 very good friends from the online dateing!  It's like we have been friends forever. The problem was, we weren't compatable with all the lovey, romance, sex stuff.\nBut I'll love their friendship and hold them dear in my heart forever!
168833
I had that experience before - but I broke up with that bf for a very weighty reason, so, even if he continued his pursuit supposedly "in the name of friendship," I didn't give in.  It took out the complications.  Don't sweat it.  :)
187878
from what i understand, the guy got somebody pregnant a month after leaving his girl to join the army. if he can't control himself while he's away, then the relationship might just as well go down the drain.
591693
I met my boyfriend through a friend. Our friend wanted me to go play cards and stuff with him and maybe a little more. Then like I went home and the next day he called me and said you remember the guy that had to leave early? And I responded yeah...why and he told me that he wanted me to go to the movie with him the next Friday. I agreed and we hit it off decent. Went out the next day (Saturday) again and it just kind of happened. I wasn't really looking for anyone at the time but just hoping to get with the guy that hooked us up. It all turned out well though a little of 6 months later we are still happier than ever!
143179
if you have had your friends for years then i would choose your friends. dates, bf/gf... they come and go, but good friends stick with your through the good and bad... they are the family YOU chose, and most of the time they look out for you best interest... when they aren't playing pranks on you that is.
141588
There's nothing about being selfish in this situation you're being reasonable. You can let this new guy know where you stand and let him know that you need sometime to sort through things in your life before getting back into another relationship. At the end of the if he wants to start another relationship with someone else you guys can still be friends and move on from there. On the other hand, if he wants to wait for you then you know he's in deed a really good guy. With my friendship/relationship I've been with my boyfriend for a 1.5 years and we were in the same state but then I went out of state to complete a Masters' degree and to be fair I gave him the option of being with someone else if someone else came along before I came back to MI to be with him. I did that because either one of us has never had a long distance relationship, so I didn't want to make him feel that he is "tied to me" while i'm out of state at Graduate school. The "separation" didn't happen we ended up still being together and when I came back to MI to visit him the love was there as if I was always there with him. So good things happen if its suppose to happen that way. Good luck and I wish you all the best.