I would love to have a child of my own & experience what it means to be a mother of my own child, but I feel that in light of a burgeoning population, doesn't it make sense to adopt a homeless child and make them your own, rather than contributing to this over-population problem?\n\nI am also concerned about the world, however crazy that sounds....because, I know every lil bit we do, counts.\n\nBut regardless of whether I will have a child of my own or not, I do plan to adopt.
213144
You are the type of person that SHOULD have a child. \n\nOverpopulation is a big problem in third world nations and China. Unless you live in one of those nations be a parent. Have one or two children. It is the people have 5-10 children that are the problem. In Western nations we are not having enough children to replace ourselves. If not for imigration our populations would actually be declining. So having a child or two may actually help the world just by helping preserver your heritage. \n\nMore so, that child that you birth. How do you know they will not grow up to invent something that ends world hunger? That creates faster than light travel? You don't. So at best you are limiting yourself and denying the world a chance to meet your children whether or not they do anyting earch shattering. You obviously have compasionate views on life that should be shared. To fight world overpopulation contribute to education and self sufficiency programs for third world nations. The better educated and more affluent a parent is the less likely they are to have exceesive children. Space is also a very good answer to overpopulation. All that land out there waiting for life to visit it. Until then it lays there dormant and dead.
334856
i can only speak from what i know about my friends mom. she gave her first child up for adoption because she was very young and the father moved away, and this was in the 60s where it was still 'bad' to be an unwed mother. she had to go to another town and stay in a young mothers home until the baby boy was born, then she signed the papers. that was almost 40 years ago and she thought about him all the time, every birthday holiday, when her daughter was born and as that daughter grew up, etc etc. she did not try to contact him because she had no way of knowing if his parents had told him he was adopted and did not want to upset anyone. she knew she made the best decision she could at the time and hoped and prayed he was given a happy life with caring people.\n\nabout 2 years ago her daughter decided to put her name into the adoption records place and they would be contacted ONLY if the son/brother had also put in his name. turns out that he did and he slowly grew a relationship with them, tho its still a bit awkward sometimes. he had very loving caring parents and is married with 3 kids of his own. one of his sons looks eerily like my friend's son. its all been very cool. but he had all the same questions and it was hard at first for him to understand why she gave him up all those years ago. once he found out that she kept a baby book in a very special place that had the only photo of him she was allowed along with the details of his birth and journal entries from over the years, he realised that no matter what, she loved him and thats WHY she decided he might have a chance at a better life with someone else. he visits and their relationship is pretty good, he is close to his sister (my friend) and all of the family have now met - parents included. it was the most heart wrenching thing i have ever witnessed. but sometimes you just cant leave a clue or info, depends on the laws. its often not that they dont WANT to leave info or get in touch, its fear, confusion, and a multitude of feelings many people would not understand if they didnt go through it themselves.
301584
Unfortunately, there is strong and heated debate with little headway.\n\nSome would argue that this country supports poor ( needy ) families that seem to bring more children, and needs upon themselves.\nMany of these families make a strong case against themselves when they abuse help programs by claiming more children than they have, working cash jobs and collecting, selling food stamps for drugs while their children are not fed.\n\nStill others will claim that it is not ethical to suppress a humans most inherent instinct, to procreate.\n\nThere is far too much drug abuse and careless sex, resulting in unwanted or unmanageable pregnancies. Still many of the young expectant mothers are entitled to aid, especially when a child is involved. The new parents find there is income with the child and keep it. Far too often the income does little or no good for the child.\n\nI do not think you are crazy, I do think we need far more sophisticated checks and balances.
145354
it's totally up to you.  I too am an independant single mother and now that my 2 sons are both in college, I am proud and happy...it feels really good to answer to no one.  This is something that is personal choice, neither decision will be "wrong".
337785
I apologize now cause this is gonna be long and more than likely will be added to.\n\nI'm always wondered about this.  I know it's one of those spin things but it's hard to pin this one down.  To use myself as an example, I am Pro-Choice.  I also consider myself Pro-life because I would never ask a woman I got pregnant to have an abortion.  First off, I think I should take the responsibilty for it and carry it through to term even if we don't want it.  (This brings up the debate of it's not my body so I can't choose and I agree, I can't.  But I would hope that a woman I slept with would be willingly to listen to what I have to say about the baby inside her that I helped create. Once Again I hope she would, but it's not my body and thus I cannot choose for her.)\n\nThe reason why I would never want an abortion are two-fold, I'd want to step up to the plate and father that kid.  If we decided not to keep it, then I'd want to give it up for adoption so someone else who can't have a baby for some reason or another can finally have one (I have a friend who cannot get pregnant through normal methods and she wants mroe than anything to be a mother.  Did you know invitro-fertilization is like $4000 a shot?  That doesn't even mean you will get pregnant, it means you have a chance to!)  I think that clarifies my Pro-choice/Pro-life stance.  I also don't believe that I have the right as an EQUAL member of human society, to force my values on others.  I don't consider myself to be any more special than anyone else on the streets.\n\nPeople refer to it as "Pro-Death" because they feel like it needs to be an opposite of the "Pro-life" platform.  It has to be called an opposite to be given a choice is rational while outlawing CHOICE, and thue FREEDOM is not.  I bet the tunes would change if "pro-Life" was refered to instead of "Removal of a right", which is what it really is.  Secondly, has anyone ever been to a pro-death rally?  Of course not, That would be considered Genocide (stopping all births would be an effective method of stopping humanity and thus genocide).  \n\nHere's the funny thing, people who are "Pro-life" also tend to be for the Death Penalty.  How is that Pro-Life?  There IS debate on whether a baby is a human or not and thus a murder, there IS NO debate on whether a prisoner is a human.  Perhaps a foul murdering human, but nonetheless human.  Is that not a murder?\n\nOh one more thing.  I am 100% against partial birth abortions.  That practice disgusts me.  I think it disgusts just about everyone who knows teh method of it.  Regardless, I would not want a law that states you cannot do it.  But here's what i think, you carried it that long, just deliver the baby and give it to someone that wants it.
341839
No but I think that if you are pro-life...then you should be required to adopt a baby that currently has no home or family....\n\nthe age...race...disablity...none of that would be your choice either.\n\nIf you are pro-life----then stand behind it.
127102
Okay, let me ask you something.  Have you ever gone to feed the homeless yourself?  Have you ever been homeless?\nI have gone on compassionate missions to San Francisco, LA, downtown Tacoma, Portland Oregon, and Seattle to feed the homeless, and to give them blankets.  I can honestly say that many of them are alcoholics and/or drug addicts who don't care to better themselves. \nThe church I attended for several years offered some of them jobs, in exchange for food and shelter.  The homeless that we offered jobs to wanted the food and shelter, but didn't care to work.\nAs for the second part, for two weeks in '99 I chose to spend all my time with the homeless kids in downtown Tacoma.  I squatted with them, "spanged" (begging for spare change), and observed them closely.  What I saw was that they spent their money on drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes instead of getting their clothes cleaned, taking a shower at the YMCA or YWCA, or getting a hotel room.  I saw heroin, crank, and prostitution for said drugs.  I saw overdoses, disease, and degeneration.  I also saw that they were apathetic to change their situation, and that even with the numerous homeless shelters, they chose to stay in abandoned buildings.\nThe fact that there are homeless is a neverending problem, but it's also an abstract idea to those who speak out against it.  They have no idea, they haven't seen it firsthand like I have.  There are government programs to help these people, and they don't take the opportunity.  Therefore, if these people really want to help themselves, they do so, and they don't stay homeless!\nI know this sounds cold-hearted, but I really do feel for the homeless...just not as much as I did before I tried feeding them.  And I have even less sympathy because I saw it as closely as one can.\nEdit:  I commend the people who volunteer to work in soup kitchens, and in food banks.  But just WHAT is the government supposed to do?  Honestly.  Throw some money at the people?  How are we supposed to sort out the ones who want to better themselves from the drug addicts and alcoholics?  There are homeless shelters, food banks, soup kitchens, low-income housing, churches with good people who try to help...\nAnd I'll tell you what.  In those two weeks that I ran with the homeless, I never went hungry.  There were always people giving us money.  I think I made more money in those two weeks than I have at ANY job I've had...and all that without resorting to prostitution.\nAs I said, there are government programs.  They can help themselves.  Throwing money at them will solve nothing, except putting us even further in debt.\nOne more thing, my sister has five kids.  They live in a four bedroom house, and the rent is $850 a month.  Not bad for Washington State.  She and her husband have a monthly income of a little over $1500.  Their electric bill comes every other month and is usually close to $400 even though they conserve.  One more thing:  My sister has yet to use Welfare.  Those kids are well-fed and cared for.  \nThe unfortunate thing, as I said, is if the government put more money into programs for the impoverished, there are too many who would take advantage of it.  Do you know who would wind up paying the price?  The taxpayers!\nThat there are homeless is tragic.  But there is nothing the government can do.
258018
You could adopt, there is more to being a parent that sharing DNA.  You would have your female child, and be making her life much better than it was.
496162
lets assume you can actually fit into this entire mental lifestyle.  Would you really, truly want this for yourself or even for your future children?  \n\nLife is short, don't make it miserable too.
194943
Wow!!  Either you're really brave, or a pot stirrer!!!  I like that! ;) I think you really opened a can of worms, though.  \nI believe in the right to choose, and also that the soul enters whenever it is ready... I lost a baby between my two kids, and it broke my heart. And, no, I didn't abort it, it miscarried.  I guess that the soul who would have used that vehicle chose not to come into this world at that time.  The whole idea that the body is the whole of a person, that the death of a body equals death of a soul, is absurd.  We come here to learn whatever lessons our soul has charted out, and sometimes we aren't quite ready when the body, or embryo, that we thought would provide us with the best opportunity for learning those lessons is ready for us.  At that point there is either a spontaneous death, or, sometimes, the mother's soul and the incoming soul have agreed that an abortion is part of the experience for each. If a soul is meant to be incarnated at a given point in time, there will be a vehicle ready to facilitate that incarnation.  No soul has to go without just because someone decided that she wasn't, for whatever reason, able to play the role of mother at that time.  \nThose who judge others should be very careful that they don't set themselves up to prove that they would truly do a "more virtuous" job with the same set of circumstances.  I get so sick of people who say, "well, if I were you, I'd do it differently."  Wow, don't quite realize the absurdity of that, do you?  If you were me, you'd have all my past experiences, and all my reasons, and you'd make  precisely the same choice I did, because you would then cease to be you.   \n  And just a word  or two to the man who feels that "such a woman" shouldn't be allowed to ever be a mother.....you aren't ever going to be allowed to be a mother, either...maybe that's because you're no more qualified than those you are judging.  And maybe next time you come back here to learn lessons, you'll decide to experience for yourself what it feels like to be faced with such a hideous decision.  Have you ever held the hand of a heartbroken woman who feels that she has no other choice, and felt your own heart break because you couldn't help her come to some sort of peace with the gut-wrenching guilt, and self-loathing that followed?  Have you ever thought about how horribly difficult such a decision must be, and what awful straits a person would have to be in, to even consider that as an option?  \nThe Cherokee say that a man should not judge until he has walked a thousand miles in another's mocassins.  Do you qualify?  I think not, or you would have learned compassion.  And if you are a Christian, do you really think Jesus would be as beligerant and vicious as you are showing yourself to be?  I thought the goal of christianity was for people to emulate Jesus, and that includes having the same loving, compassionate, non-judging attitudes he has.  All of you who judge should re-think the place where you are standing.  If you were utterly without sin, then you would be utterly compassionate.  If He isn't judging, how can you justify doing it in His place?
204492
there is no way anybody here can answer that for you, the fact that you feel the need to ask is not a good sign though.  make sure you can take care of yourself and your baby on your own in case it doesn't though, its the best way to protect yourself against the possibility that it won't and you are now responsible for another life.  why are you having a child with someone you have so many doubts about?
315229
I wanted to be a mother even younger than that.  \n\nI always thought that at least that way, I would have 1 person that would love me unconditionally.  I was raised in a very tumultuous family.  Bad adoption and all that crud.  Always felt left out and always dreamed of having a child....even at like 10 years old.  I held onto that...until I had my first at 19.\n\nIt is so hard.  I am now 33 and my girls are 14, 13 & 12.  I wouldn't give them up for the world.  However, for their sake, I would do it different if I could.  I would get an education so I didn't have to work at low income jobs...just now trying to get myself through school to get a good career.  There are days that I dont know where the next meals are coming from....or the electric bill money...\n\nso....take your time hon.....get an education...live a little...there is plenty of time for babies...PLENTY!!
242766
Brilliant!\nAbsolutely a wonderful idea!\n\nMy own mother could have spared me a DREADFUL first AND SECOND marriage...but I did not listen to her!\nSo, I paid the failure price!\n\nMothers know their children FAR and away better than the children know themselves, simply because they have watched HOW that child makes choices from the first day of its life!!!\n\nI believe this with ALL my heart!\n\nMothers also recognize traits in the child that are known sometimes only to the mother herself, because she may have had them or still have them and knows they are not optimum in Life's choice making!!!\n\nLet you mother choose someone, you will have the final say, after all, the chemistry has got to be THERE for YOU !!!\nBut, trust her instincts and guidance--she loves you like no other human will EVER love you in your Whole EXISTENCE AND only wants GOOD for you.\n\nI believe this even though you and I have never met!\nSome things you just have to Trust.
99305
I do provide and improve alternatives. I'm a social worker that helps pregnant women for this reason.\n\nBut is killing a baby acceptable because of all your reasons? Expensive adoption? The birthmother doesn't pay, and there's a 10 million couple wait for an expensive adoption.\n\nFoster system? No need. Infants are easily adoptable, and apparantly these couples on the waiting list can endure the expenses. \n\nRegardless if your  examples were real or not, none of your reasons justify killing innocent unborn people.  \n\nPeriod.
32833
That is an interesting view of things.  I have always had an inclination the exact opposite direction, that is, to help my family first, then my town, then state, country, the world.  I'm not saying this is right and the way you are talking about is wrong.  I guess it's just that when I have some money to donate, and I look around, and right there is my own family member who is barely getting by, then how can I let him starve while feeding a stranger?\n\nBut what you are saying is a good philosophy.  For if I were to help the country, then perhaps there would be this "trickle-down" effect to my own family member.  I think there may be something to that.  I just wish I was a billionaire and could help everyone!
643749
If your having a baby you have just step into the grow-up world and let me tell you something that child needs both parents. \n\nThat baby did not ask to come into the world but this is happen, so therefore the responsibility is you both give that baby the best life possible no matter what people think.
71710
Do I think it's wrong ?  No.  I think a child exposed to many cultures and places is a good thing .  I think a child cared for is always a good thing no matter where they might be at the moment.  I think a child feels home is more about the stability of the key adults in their life then about location.  I think it's great that Brad and Angelia are using their resources to help children who may otherwise have very bleek futures, it's commendable.  I also think everyone is angry with them for hurting Jenifer who was like Princess Diana "down to earth" a common soul.  I think for this reason attempts are made to make them the union of Sodom and Gommorah.  The reality is those buying tickets to the firestorm from heaven may as well get in the refund line.  It's not happening.  I think traveling with children is the least of the worries for this couple.  Now let's get outraged about B.Spears and her baby in her lap not buckled in.  Here are two people caring for kids who wouldn't have many options apart from them and maybe they will marry, maybe the won't but they've both stepped up to plate for other peoples children.  That's more then many do for their own children.