I have a difficult time dealing with tough situations at work and often find myself crying in front of my colleagues and supervisors. At this point it is not and option for me to quit...I've been working there for about 6 months. I just feel so overwhelmed with the pressures at my job and my interactions with some individuals. How can I cope with these emotions when I am confronted with these issues and be more assertive if someone is bursting my bubbles? Please note I am extremely shy and nervous when I am around people. I am a loner and most of my friends and family are out of town. Your thought are appreciated...much thanks!!!
206038
SPEAK UP for yourself.  Stay away from those who put you down as much as possible.  If they confront you,  look them straight in the eyes, tell them to LAY OFF and walk away.  Mean people usually pick on those who they perceive as vulnerable. Keep you chin UP no matter how you feel.  Your air of confidence will make you FEEL more confident and also deter some of the bubble-bursters.   If you are being harrassed,  speak to your supervisor.  If your supervisor harrasses you and/or is unconcerned,  speak to his/her superior.   If you get no positive results,  start looking for a new job.   You deserve a friendlier work environment. (It's a possibility that you can file a "hostile environment" complaint against your present employer).  I suggest counselling to help you figure out why you are shy and nervous.   Focus on your accomplishments at work.  Build your self-confidence outside of work.  Find new friends. Seek outside activities and hobbies that give you a sense of accomplishment.  Read self-help books.   And,  yes,  an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication might help you cope with the stress until YOU change your circumstances.  (Noone else will do it for you).  Talk to your doctor.
509988
I'm currently dealing with the same things.  It got so bad for me that I had to take time off from work.  What I find helps is to see my dr on a regular basis, and I go see a psycologist also, just to talk and help to get things out and deal with them.  I started keeping a journal again.  Just write, don't think about what you are writing, just write. Its amazing what actually comes out when you don't think about the words.  \nTry taking a nice warm bath, play some relaxing music, light a candle, and just relax.  Slow deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth.  I mix in some lavendar oil with my bath, its very relaxing.  \nTry taking a walk, not a quick run/walk, just a stroll.  Try to enjoy the beauty thats around you, because no matter where you are theres something beautiful.  That helps me to think positive, since in depression  you dont want to be a positive person.  \nTake any medications the dr gives to you.  In time, the majority of them will help.  Only you're doctor can determine which is right for you.  I am on several right now, and I am noticing a difference in myself. \nSurround yourself by friends and family, granted that they aren't the one causing you anxiety.  Talk, and listen to what they have to say.  Enjoy a cup of decaff herbal tea.  Limit your caffiene intake, since it can make your anxiety worse.  \nTry taking up a hobby or craft to keep your hands busy.  I have been doing plastic canvas work, and its helping me keep busy, and when I feel stressed or anxious, I work on my project until the feeling passes.  I have also been trying to read.  it helps me relax also. \nI hope this helped, its whats been getting me through the last few weeks.  Good luck to you!
410190
Nobody deserves to go to work day in and day out and feel nervous and on the edge. It's pretty obvious that this women is solidifying her position by being indespensable..... that's why she leaves information out. Number one of course start looking for a new job. But more importantly, as you need this you need to protect yourself. Instead of concentrating onbeing nervous, turning it inward, turn it outward....... be angry. There are laws about such behavior and it falls into work place harassment. Any company hears these words and they start seeing huge problems. Yes, you can tape her..... but not phone conversations. You need to write down what was discussed in what meetings. If you company is big enough submit a written letter explaining your inabilty to do your job (citing your previous experience) to the human resources person. If your health plan covers it go see atherapist here and there..... it would help in the long run. But more easily done....... have a meeting with this women and someone high up and express your concerns in a professional manner. Usually such people as this women cannot justify their behavior in such a setting. More detail would be helpful. Remember, nobody deserves this.... so use the enrgy to be mad about it. Plus life has a way of working out. Good luck to you!
96810
Hi Abhi. It's clear that you have work stress. Try not to be too perfect but organise yourself and concentrate well on what you are about. Avoid doing the things that you will regret or the things that you are not sure of. Keep with the meds. They are essential for restoring vital chemicals which are deficient in you. Simple meditation and slow breathing exercises help as well as staying away from spicy foods. When alone and tensed, find a friend to chat with so that your mind does not begin to get anxious. The psychiatrist will do an excellent job in removing some of the tension within you by having you speak out your problems. Keep with it. Your life will be a success over time, don't even worry about it. \nTake care\nLove,\nAngel
289064
I understand what you are feeling. I am very much like that myself. I think it happens because I take everything and everyone overly serious and i take everything to heart. I have learned that a good way to cope with sudden mood changes is to write your throughts/emotions down. I used a journal like an emotional logbook....what was the situation, what emotions did it cause and how severe where the emotions and how did i react? How did others react to my reaction? Things like that can make you discover a deeper reason for your moodswings which can help you learn how to control them better. Of course, counceling can help tremendously. It sounds like you let your environment control your emotions.....maybe that can be helped through journaling and counceling. Try it out, and see if you can figure out what causes you to change moods so quickly.....you might need to take a more objective approach to yourself.
235668
I went through the same thing at my job and I went to my immediate supervisor and explained what I was feeling and asked for something different to learn about the company.  I was a good worker so they started expanding my responsibilities and giving me more challenging options to deal with.  It helped a lot!  Good luck!
156328
Nope, just carry on and do your job the best you can. They will probably think not much of it if your outlook is bright and professional from now on in. If they do mention it, you can decide how you want to answer then, for example. "Im sorry I was simply having a rough day.  Im fine thanks for your concern", blah blah.  Otherwise, I think it will probably blow over.  If you feel stressed in future, excuse yourself to ladies room and take a minute to compose yourself.  Good luck, you'll be fine.
101208
I struggle with this too.  You keep on keeping on.  You surround yourself with people who are supportive of you.  And you do fun stuff in between to tie you over.  Keep your chin up and remember to let out some emotion through exercise.
667270
You have to take the next step, which is the hardest, that is accept it, in it's entirety...unfortunately that means allowing yourself to feel that emotional pain and self-control is key. The process isn't an easy one, but a doable one, and sometimes all we have the strength for are moments at a time, and courage strengthens them into hours, and then days...but we heal.  Friends are a great support system to help you cope, and keep busy, and sometimes just getting away for awhile is also helpful.  I found what helped me the most through a similar situation, was getting back into what I enjoyed doing that I had forgotten all about, which was pertaining to the arts, and I got involved with helping the less fortunate people in my community.  It took time, but as each day passed I regained hope, and strength with the help and kindness of what were once strangers, but now good friends.  A healthy diet, and rest is also very important because sometimes we forget to take good care of ourselves in stressful circumstances, which rob us from being able to focus properly, therefore make sure your daily routine starts with a healthy meal and ends with a good night rest.  Beleive it or not it does make a difference rejuvenating us almost, such a simple task to make an impact on our mind and body who figure?  A check up, with your doctor is very helpful, let him/or her know what you're going through.  Hope this is helpful, wishing you strength towards your steps to moving on forward.  Good Luck!
84823
Is there anything you can do to change the job frustration? Talking to a district office or a boss higher up? Changing job duties? Is there anything funny about how sorry the place is? Does the place do anything good that can make you feel better that your frustration is going for something useful? \nI read a book called "100 Things That People Do To Be Happy". It suggests that making yourself happy takes a lot of practice, like playing basketball. Maybe you can think of that while you are working and look for things that put a smile on your face when you don't feel like smiling. Do you have a library nearby? Try and find a book on drawing caricatures and make up funny pictures of the things or people you work with.\nMake sure you get as much sleep as you can (try earplugs and nightshades (blinders) if you are sleeping during the day, and as early at night as you can (probably hard if you work late). Sometimes your emotional state is worse if you aren't getting enough vitamins also.\nI'm sure others will have more suggestions for meditating, etc. I prefer to attack my frustrations whenever I can.
589500
If I were you I would apply at other jobs.  Don't quit your job until you are hired somewhere else.  I use to work at a resturaunt.  I know how it is.  I worked for a person like that before.  One time she even yelled at me when I was making conversation/waiting on a customer.  That's just my advice to you.  Hope it gets better.
93735
Make sure you meet your basic needs. Eat healthy food and get plenty of rest and exercise. If you have a problem in front of you.. take steps to solve it. If there is no immediate problem, tell yourself that you are alright. After a few times of reminding yourself that you're alright, you might find that your rollercoster emotions calm down some. So many of us make ourselves stressed out.\n\nIf there are no people at work to talk to, find a support group outside of work. It can be a therapy lead group or just a group of friends that you hang out with. Make it part of your life to laugh and have joy and find somehting beatiful every day. \n\nIf none of this works, seek professional help.
485005
Well this is part of our life. In our life nothing is plain sailing and all these are part of our challenges and it depends on how you take it.  I used to feel the same way as you are but after giving some thought I feel that we should face the challenge. No matter what sort of working environment you are in, you face the same problem.\nYou really heve to take it positively and take things at a step when it comes. You can give it a try and I believe you can do it.\nAll the best to you
180811
Stress at work and no other place is one of the most difficult cases to prove. Because first and foremost, YOU CONTROL WHAT YOU FEEL. The boss didnt make you stressed, you made yourself stressed. People dont make you feel, you choose to feel. Get over yourself, you have no case, your best bet is to seek counseling for your inability to internalize your situations and your feeling of inadequacy, fo it is only when we feel inadequate that others "make us feel" something.
30124
Exerpt from an about.com HR article:\n\n"These are ten productive ways to deal with your difficult coworker. Let's start with the first five.\n\n    * Start out by examining yourself. Are you sure that the other person is really the problem and that you're not overreacting? Have you always experienced difficulty with the same type of person or actions? Does a pattern exist for you in your interaction with coworkers? Do you recognize that you have hot buttons that are easily pushed? (We all do, you know.) Always start with self-examination to determine that the object of your attention really is a difficult person’s actions.\n\n\n    * Explore what you are experiencing with a trusted friend or colleague. Brainstorm ways to address the situation. When you are the object of an attack, or your boss appears to support the dysfunctional actions of a coworker, it is often difficult to objectively assess your options. # Anger, pain, humiliation, fear and concern about making the situation worse are legitimate emotions.\n\nPay attention to the unspoken agreement you create when you solicit another’s assistance. You are committing to act unless you agree actions will only hurt the situation. Otherwise, you risk becoming a whiner or complainer in the eyes of your colleague.\n\n\n# Approach the person with whom you are having the problem for a private discussion. Talk to them about what you are experiencing in “I” messages. (Using “I” messages is a communication approach that focuses on your experience of the situation rather than on attacking or accusing the other person.) You can also explain to your coworker the impact of their actions on you.\n\nBe pleasant and agreeable as you talk with the other person. They may not be aware of the impact of their words or actions on you. They may be learning about their impact on you for the first time. Or, they may have to consider and confront a pattern in their own interaction with people. Worst case? They may know their impact on you and deny it or try to explain it away. Unfortunately, some difficult people just don’t care. During the discussion, attempt to reach agreement about positive and supportive actions going forward.\n\n\n# Follow up after the initial discussion. Has the behavior changed? Gotten better? Or worse? Determine whether a follow-up discussion is needed. Determine whether a follow-up discussion will have any impact. Decide if you want to continue to confront the difficult person by yourself. Become a peacemaker. (Decide how badly you want to make peace with the other person and how much you want your current job. Determine whether you have experienced a pattern of support from your boss.) If you answer, “yes,” to these questions, hold another discussion. If not, escalate and move to the next idea.\n\n\n# You can confront your difficult coworker’s behavior publicly. Deal with the person with gentle humor or slight sarcasm. Or, make an exaggerated physical gesture – no, not that one – such as a salute or place your hand over your heart to indicate a serious wounding.\n\nYou can also tell the difficult person that you’d like them to consider important history in their decision making or similar words expressed positively, depending on the subject. Direct confrontation does work well for some people in some situations. I don’t think it works to ask the person to stop doing what they’re doing, publicly, but you can employ more positive confrontational tactics. Their success for you will depend on your ability to pull them off. Each of us is not spur-of-the-moment funny, but if you are, you can use the humor well with difficult coworkers.\n\n# If you have done what you can do and employed the first five recommended approaches with little or no success, it’s time to involve others. Note that you are escalating the situation. Prepare to talk with your boss. Take notes and address the issues, not as interpersonal problems, but as issues aff
365720
I feel like that every day I leave my office and head for home when I work with the one boss. Sometimes it can be anxiety over so many things going on at once, at least that's what I've pin pointed it to in my situation. When the one boss is here he is crazy running around like a chicken with his head cut off, a huge tornado of chaos. It totally drains me after he leaves. Any other day I am fine, I think his chaotic manners suck my energy right out of me. I've tried just bracing myself for him to be chaotic and then when he leaves reorganise everything back to it's original spot,  also I ignore him somewhat, act really absorbed into my work and then he doesn't really bother me.
496611
oh boy, very common story. If you cannot approach your supervisor, take it to upper management. There are also reference tools such as the internet to help you understand the topic a little better. If you have a very autocratic employer, all you can do is push on through & at your next evaluation, express your concerns with this issue & maybe come up with some solutions. Chances are there are more people you work with who have this problem, start a conversation around the water cooler, so to speak, see what you can come up with collectively to combat the situation.