We've been married for 4 years have 2 kids and he admitted he cheated on me 3 times over 3 years ago. He even said he will do it again. I love him so much, I wanna stay with him but I want to leave too. What do I do?
212094
you answered this yourself. He said he will do it again. So, I would say yes, without a doubt.
337516
your right cheating should not be the result. If you no longer love your husband and think you would be better off alone-if things don't work out with your new love then you should leave. your kids can sense if your not happy and being in a loveless marriage is not healthly for anyone. I am leaving with 2 young boys after giving him 8 years to change because I no longer love my husband who has been abusive and I was tempted to cheat also. However,I may not have a chance now with the other man as he has moved on but decided I will be better alone and my kids will be better with a single mom then they are staying with a family under one roof when there is no love and they can't get along or there is no communication at all.
358499
leave him, theres no excuse for cheating, even if he regrets it, you need to find someone who respects you enough to be faithful. good luck (",)
5581
First, you have my sympathy. Betrayal always hurt. I am sure that you are torn up inside. However, let me point out several thing. Isn't better to know his character now-- otuside of marriage, if that is where you were hoping the relationship would go-- rather than after marriage?  Second, recognize that people rarely change their stripes, if he comes back and wants a second chance... I would encourage you to firmly let him know that "betraying for five years does not deserve asecond chance. You have no intention to give him the chance to hurt you again."\nFinally, remember that women cheat on men too! So your questions can be better phrased, why do people cheat when they are in a love relationship?
24320
Well, has he ever said he didn't love you when he cheated?? People can love someone and still cheat on them. However, just because you don't trust him, doesn't mean he is cheating. Trust is something that people have to earn, and once that trust is broken it can take years to regain, if you ever do. My concentration would be on letting go of the past. You can't battle the present if you are still fighting with the past. You have to accept that in the past he cheated, and that you chose to stay with him. This means you have to give him a fresh start. This will not be easy to do, but remember, if he is getting falsely accused or reminded of his past that eventually the past will repeat it's self. This ia a time of rediscovering the love you have for eachother, and getting to know eachother better. He also needs to be doing everything he can to make you feel secure in your marriage and in his devotion to you. If he is doing certain things that r making you feel as he is cheating, it is best to tell him that these things are bothering you. If he continues with them anyway, then you might have to look at the situation a little more closely to be sure that he is not straying on you. But, don't let jealousy and self insecurity alone ruin your marriage. Yes, I agree that alot of women have an intuition about these sort of things, but, on the other hand, sometimes it is just a jealous heart looking for something that isn't there. And, when the latter of these two is happening, perfectly good relationships end. Talk to your husband, find closure for the past, and start new. Find out what each of you want and need from the relationship on every level and enjoy loving eachother. My heart goes out to you, I know you are not in an easy situation, and you have alot of hard work ahead of you. But, if you can rediscover the love and passion that once filled your marriage it will all be worth it. Good Luck tou you.
619056
I only read the first two sentences. Why are you with him? I would of left him after he cheated once!!
70925
Well he has betrayed you and it will take alot of work on his part to build that trust back up again. Why do you think you are giving him permission to do it again? Make certain that he does leave her, go for some counseling, you WILL need it, this is a serious blow to a marriage, some can make some can't. As for knowing for a fact that he broke it off, outside of being with him when he tells her you would just have to take his word for it. I am really sorry that you are going through this. Many say once a cheater always a cheater and to tell you the truth that is true in many many cases.\n If you love him then TRY to work it out, make certain that he attends counseling WITH you. Love can see you through a lot of pain but HE will have to work extra hard to rebuild your trust in him.\n  I wish you the best and hope things work the way that you want them to. Good Luck
668378
he will go back to the same old stuff once you agree to stay, unless you resolve the underlying problem and if the problem is a behavior thing of his you arent going to change it. sounds like you are done and when that happens there is no going back. look if the guy really cared about the marriage he would've changed things when you said you were unhappy instead of waiting until you said i'm leaving. do you really want to spend your life with your bags packed because thats the only thing that gets through to him? yes you said better or worse, but sometimes it just isn't worth it. only you can decide that, to me it sounds as if you already have. if you've already given him 100 chances to step up to the plate he obviously isn't going to and 100 more won't be enough either. good luck to you, things will work out!
610211
Seems to me he is a cheater who will hurt you again.  The only way to prevent it (other than dumping/divorcing him) is for him to seek professional help - and maybe you should go with him, not cuz you did anything wrong, but to support him and have it be a "together" thing.\n\nIf he doesn't want to work with you to overcome this situation and build a solid future with you, then your marriage will continue to get worse till you decide you've had enough - if he doesn't decide it first.  Marriage takes hard work and commitment, more so when you have children, so I hope you 2 work it out.  If not, learn from it, accept your sad fate, and face the future as a single mom with confidence and self-respect.
122158
If he was able to do that, and with somebody so close, he will easily do it again.  If you really WANT to make it work anyway (and I'm all for forgiveness in the right circumstances), then it's up to him to do everything it takes to make you feel secure that nothing else will ever go on with anyone else. He would have to want your marriage bad enough to do that of course, because it will be alot of work on his part.\nIf he's not willing to be totally open and accountable for every action, then do not put yourself through the abuse of more affairs. He has already broken your marriage covenant, and you are not bound to him.
299251
I have been almost in the same predicument as you, but my husband cheated on me first after 18 years of marriage. We have two children and not only did this effect me, it also had a great impact on the children as well. I did kick him out of the house and after a couple of weeks he realized that he wanted me back and to have life back to normal. Well that does not happen over night. The trust was gone, I was insecure with my self and felt that things could never be the same again. We remained living in the same house, seperate rooms, and trying to mend what happened, then he got into a bad accident as well. The accident was so bad that after leaving the hospital after 6 weeks, I had to nurture and nurse him everyday for the next year. After a complete year of this I cheated on him. I believe that I did this to fullfill the hurt,anxiety,and the insecurity I had about my self. He found out the same way by tapping the phone of reason's of suspition and confronted me. I did tell him the truth about everything. At that time I also said to him "How does it feel to have it happen to you, now we are even". Well set aside Love does hurt, and we all can be cruel either mentally or physically. We react weird to these typs of circumstances. But happy to say it has now been 7 years after this has all happened, and our love never died, it took a great deal of time for the trust factor to regain itself. I'm not saying that the trust will fully every be regained, but as your relationship heals and your thoughts and feeling are open and honest with each other this is a start. Marriage to me now is more important than I ever realized, I want to grow old together. Everyone is differant but place value on your love and family, and take baby steps. If all else fells and things can't be reconciled then be good friends for your children and yourselves. Good Luck. Good things take time.
224772
Sorry angel,  You will never know if he will do it again, how did you find out the 1st time? I mean did he tell you or did you find out? was it 1 time or 100 times? If he cheated then he would lie about how many times he cheated. You are the only person that can determine if you can trust him again or not. You have to decide weather the relationship is worth the worrying or not worth it and find someone to be with that you can trust.  good luck  god bless
672192
If he has cheated on you multiple times, he is not truly sorry. He might be sorry that you found out, but he knows what he was doing, when he went and embraced another woman.\n\nYou, and your children, deserve more respect than that.\n\nDon't settle.
276677
It sounds like you loved him alot more than he loved you. its a shame that it took 3.5 years for all this to surface because each day you probably loved him more and more. After the 1st time he cheated his love decreased every day. Thats why he continued cheating on you. Yes you did the right thing. The right thing is always hard to do because it is right thing. Now we dont know his side of the story but cheating is cheating.
157903
And he hasn't left his wife? well it doesn't  look like he feels the same even if he says he does he is just saying that b/c his heart is still with her, there are billions of men out there, why one that is married. You should end it, have more respect for yourself that you are implying that you have, you are portaying yourself to be a homewrecker.
194947
Any man that just left his wife and 2 kids isn't in ANY place to be wanting it to last.  Even though you might, and he probably says pretty words, why would you WANT to stay with a man that is still married- therefore cheating on his wife with you?  Does SHE know he's already moved on?  It seems like he moved straight from her bed to your bed- why would YOU want that?  What about his kids?  Be the bigger person and wait until the divorce is final.  Divorce is messy enough without additional people thrown into the mix.  If it's true love he'll still be around then- and his kids will be able to respect you.  If not, you have your answer.
479799
How many more time does he have to cheat on you and bring hurt into your life before you realise he just isnt worth it anymore, If he didn't change the first time after cheating on you then he will never change, people say everyone deserves a second chance, well, he's had more than a second chance.If you let him walk all over you then, yes, he will keep on using you as his door mat, You say your friends won't get involved? maybe they won't but there has to be someone who can help you, even if its to just put you up for a couple of nights. If not, you say you work? then save up to put a deposit down on a flat of your own. But if I was you, I wouldn't stay with anyone who cheats on me, maybe the once but after that, then I would draw the line, he's had more than enough chances to put things right between you two. Maybe now is the time to look after yourself and your unborn child, that is what you priorty is now, if he wants to be foot loose and fancy free then kick him out of the house as he clearly doesn't deserve you hun. Good luck.