i recently got out of a 2 yr relationship with this girl whom i find myself very much still in love with, but shes just disappeared like i dont exsist to her, despite my efforts of compromise. now i find myself wanting to just jump into a fling with someone i dont really know just to fill this empty feelin i wake up to everyday, some expert advise would be greatly appreciated. what should i do? thx ppl!
199443
DON'T HAVE A FLING!!!!! flings should be done when your going on vacation. You don't want the chance of involving someone Else feelings. Women can get crazy once there feelings are involved. You should read the book God's Gift to Women by Micheal Basien.
302373
Maybe you should try talking to him about how you feel?\nThere is a possibility that if you feel like the "spark" is gone, he feels the same way too.\n\nJust because the spark is gone doesn't mean you need to break up, it could just mean you need to do something to bring it back. I think a lot of relationships and marriages these days end because they're based from attraction and the 'new relationship tingly feeling'\nAfter you're with someone for as long as you've been with him, and longer, you tend to get into a routine, and the original feelings you've had disappear.\n\nLong-term relationships take work.\n\nI suggest talking to him about it either way.\nMaybe you'll both mutually feel like you want a change.\n\nIf you do end up hurting him, don't feel to bad about it, as long as you communicate with him, and are mature about it, you'll both be able to move on. :)
229646
hey sweety,i know how u feeling.. how to move on? think about yourself! u deserve so much joy, ur killing yourself with the anxiety. fight it, keep that friend connection. grow as an individual, improve n develop yourself in the mean time. sounds to me like u will get back together!! wake up each morning n look in the mirror tell yourself that ur the best thing on the planet, dance n hear James Brown wen u walking.. Aaah, feel goood!!!\n\neven if things arent the way u want them, so wat? live life the fullest n enjoy yourself each moment. stop pinning away, be optimistic about yo ex- u will get him back!! relationship issues need time, be patient n it will come to u!! maybe your differences are being worked out by the space n at the same time look yummy for him (eat yo heart out, dude!!) n any other guy out there. u never know..Morris Chestnut, or Brad Pitt (ha!!) maybe watching!!!\n\nlove yourself to death, ur beautiful, talented n he thinkin of u twice as much! why else wud he keep in touch all this while?don feel sorry or wrong, u were right to discontinue yo relationship-u did say twas inevitable, ain it? so enjoy life girl!!\n\nu can do it!!! don u know u unstoppable girl??!!! hey- u got a cute smile..do that often!! smile, i mean!!
550413
Do nothing for a while. If you rush into a relationship while you feel like  you are now, chances are that you"ll make a mistake, and you'LL have only yourself to blame. Have a cooling off period. It will help you to figure out what you really want. You don't HAVE to be dating someone ALL the time.
489899
Hi Eugene T, My question is..."Do you really want a girl who is rebounding from a relationship"? And, it sounds like your rebounding too. Please take this "SLOWLY". I know, I sound like a parent...that's because I am! LOL! Focus on your friends/classmates/sports etc. There is plenty of time. Wouldn't you rather take it slow and learn more about "her" break-up[both sides of the story?], while "reflecting" on what went wrong with your relationship? OK OK, I've lectured you enough! XOXO Moonpie P.S. And go with those words of wisdom from diagofald..."HIT IT"!
324340
Take your time...sometimes missing someone can be therapeutic as well as painful.  You don't say what happened between you two so I can't really elaborate.  However, when my ex and I broke up, it took me quite some time to get over him.  I can assure you that no matter how hard it may seem right now, all of the feelings that you are experiencing will eventually pass.  Also, kudos to you for not jumping into another relationship.  Until we completely heal from a breakup the only thing we can bring into another relationship is pain.......
361875
If you guys didnt really have anything in common and you were super happy with her, then you did the right thing. You should never settle for someone, or continue being with someone in fear of hurting their feelings. Its a hard thing to do, I know, because I am the same way, but you have to think, do I really want to spend the rest of my life being moderately happy instead of really happy? And its better to do it now then wait til later when you cant take it anymore and youre much older than you are now and starting over is that much harder.
225105
Go on with your life as if nothing were the matter.\n\nThis is really hard -- be courteous and pleasant and non-judgmental with your former lover.\n\nAs soon as you can, open your eyes to new opportunities and find a new love.
666924
It is totally normal to be feeling like this. They say when you break up with someone that you love it congers up the same emotions as it does when someone dies. You are in mourning for your lost relationship but don't confuse this with love. It takes time for your mind and your heart to come to terms with these situations but it will pass. Talk to you friends about everything you are feeling, even the stupid things, you may feel silly at the time but once you have got all you feelings out you will feel a load has been lifted of your mind. Every time the thought of your ex comes into your mind, change it and put your boyfriend in his place. Don't keep thinking back on things you and your ex used to do, go out and try new things with your boyfriend, these new memories will move the other memories out of your mind and you will feel yourself letting go of the past and moving on to happier times. Trust me, this has happened to me before, i nearly let my new relationship break down because of it but i got past it and am happier than i have ever been. Don't be afraid to let go, you will always have the time with your ex to look back on in the future but don't let it destroy you chance of happiness.
657684
Hon, from what I am reading you really aren't ready for another relationship right now if you are still hanging on to the memories of your previous relationship with the hope that things will happen for you both someday. Honestly, the chances are that they will are pretty slim to none, especially if you both are not on speaking terms.\n\nYou need to take some time to yourself and sort out your feelings for this guy. You need to make an honest assessment of what was good in the relationship, as well as what was bad, so that you have a better idea of what kind of relationship you want in the future. You need to determine what you will and will not accept in a relationship in the future, as well as assess what you both did wrong in the relationship that caused it to fail. This is especially important because one person is never solely responsible for a relationship's failure; both people are and to move on successfully you have to take responsibility for your own actions. Additionally, you will eventually need to forgive your ex for his contributions to the failure of the relationship, as well as forgive yourself. If you don't, you will carry that baggage into the next love affair you have and nothing will ever get resolved.\n\nIf you rush into another relationship now, while you are still reeling from the other one, you are getting involved for all of the wrong reasons: you don't want to be alone, you are afraid of being alone, etc etc etc. It will be a classic rebound situation. You won't be getting involved because you really like the new guy. You are getting involved because you can't handle being alone or you want to replicate what you had (when it was good) with your ex. Relationships like this are DOOMED.\n\nTake some time for yourself. Relax. Read, or hang out with your friends. Write your feelings in a journal; get to know who you are, sort your feelings out, and then, when you are ready, forgive your ex and yourself. When you feel positive about things again (including yourself) then and only then are you ready for another relationship.\n\nHow do I know this? Life experience. I am 50 now and I had to learn the hard way. When I was your age I was involved with a guy who I THOUGHT was the love of my life. It didn't work out, so in my panic, I rushed into a relationship with a guy who paid lots and lots of attention to me. I thought HE was the love of my life, too. What did I do? 2 years later we got married. OY! What a mistake that was. We were married for 10 years, and after 10 years of his craziness I finally was brave enough to get out of the marriage and get a divorce. He was NUTS - verbally abusive at first, and then he became physically abusive. When we dated I saw these things in him, but ignored them. I ignored my intuition - my gut told me he was nuts and that he was troubled, but because I was scared of being alone, I married him anyway. Why? Because he was romantic. Ahhh, nothing like lessons learned.\n\nI stepped back, assessed my wants and needs, forgave him and myself for our mistakes, and decided what I wanted. 4 years after my divorce and a few lousy relationships later, I met my second husband and married him 6 months later. That was 6 years ago and we are happy. In the end it worked out for me, but the stress of a miserable marriage because of my fears of aloneness made me sick. So don't do it. \n\nTake time for you, and sorry this is so long.
429093
Enjoy it! It's so sweet. It seems you have fallen in love. I don't know if I would help you if I could. I guess try really hard to focus on what you're doing. breath.. focus.. and get addicted to the work/thing you need to do. You can keep thinking about her after you're done.
436099
this is how I felt for a while but i have a girlfriend now ( I'm bisexual) It's like you don't know if you are in love or not. I would just do what you think is best for you if that helps any
233405
I guess it's something that ppl hav 2 deal wif..u might probably feel alone,confused..And all you think about is to try to move on but the real thing is, you can't..I went through the same problem too.Fact, I'm actually still stuck!It's hurtful and so confusing realli.It suxs to rejected...Most ppl would say move on...she's not worth it..and realli, she's not. U can't wait for her to accept u..the longer u wait, the deeper u'll go. I mean, she might not feel the same way about u like the way u feel about her. And that's not love. U didn't do anything wrong, it's realli something u hav to accept in life so, at least, try to keep ur mind of her and u may actually realise that there's someone out there which is so much better and will love u like the way u love her...i realli hope this helps..
586942
It takes time to get over someone that you have loved and trusted so deeply. I know that's probably not what you want to hear but it is true. The last thing that you need to do right now is to jump into another relationship. Take your time and let love happen to you again in its own time. In the mean time try to occupy your time with other things and don't dwell on missing him so much. I know its easier said than done but trust me in time it will get better.
56156
Have you gone out with many girls since your separation?  If not, then you are probably moving too fast, thinking too far in advance.  Slow it down.  Stay with the girl you like, but BE SURE TO GIVE HER TIME TO HERSELF.  That means a day or 2 apart at a time (phone is OK).  Otherwise you will feel "clingy" to her and all women hate needy/clingy guys, which could cause her to dump you.  \n\nYou have to control your emotions yourself.  That sounds funny, but it's true.  You have to think about how you feel, how your life is, factor in the good and bad possibilities of what could happen based on your actions, then choose what you feel are the best actions.  Control your emotions or you will lose her.\n\nI've been separated from my ex for 16 months, officially divorced for 6.  I've felt what you're feeling.  I've been back in the dating scene.  Take it slow.
254695
Hey,\nI've been in this situation b4. The best thing to do is to give yourself some breathing space . Take your mind of this. Try to relax and distract yourself. If you feel that strongly bout your ex, the best thing to do - confess it 2 him. Maybe he feels the same way. Maybe he's just not wearing his feelings. Always b optimistic. The glass is half full........... Frm wat i have read u r  strongly in love with this guy.........express it! Best of luck
582306
I'm sorry to hear that you're missing your ex.  I know it's hard.  I highly recommend a funny but great book by Greg Behrendt (the guy that wrong He's Just Not That Into You).  The book is called:  It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.  It's an easy book to read but it's insightful. \n\nUnfortunately, time does heal all wounds.  You aren't there yet because it's still fresh in your mind.  And it feels like FOREVER to you right now.  Keep busy, go out with girl friends, have day pampering yourself, treat yourself to something nice, try something new you've always wanted to do, try something that you're afraid and it'll give you confidence that you were able to over come your fear, or volunteer with children or anyone in need (it'll help a w/ the loneliness).  Focus on you getting the most out of your life even though you don't want to.  At this time it's not about your boyfriend, it's all about you.