The guy I'm seeing recently left his wife.  His wife and I had been friends in high school.  They have two children together.  \n\nShe was having various affairs and the marriage had fallen apart.  No hard feelings until we started dating.  Now there is a ton of animosity and she says I'm not allowed around the children. \n\nI understand the whole friends don't do that to exes but it just happened, we didn't plan it.  Any advice is welcome.
216899
She is just feeling protective over her mother role.  She is their momma and she doesn't want you to try and fill her shoes or play mommy.  It is very delicate.  No matter what she did in her marriage doesn't matter.  Please be respectful not to push her about being around HER kids.  Respect the fact that she doesn't want you around them right now.  They shouldn't see you two together unless it is very serious.  I didn't introduce my daughter to her now step-dad until I was sure we were going to stay together.  They don't need to see different women in daddy's life.  You don't know how long you two will last just yet.  Give it time!!!!Don't tell her to back off or anything like that, you have no right to.  If you care at all about your b/f respect her wishes!!!  She'll come around if you do.  Don't make it worse, it is a delicate situation!!!  Why would you move in?  This isn't something that should be taken lightly.  Are you even engaged to him?  Like I said, the kids shouldn't see women in daddy's life unless it is serious enough as marriage is!  Sounds like you know you'll disrespect her wishes anyway!  Why ask then, if you are moving in?
329957
Honestly what do you expect?  I mean it is your BEST FRIEND'S EX.  Even if she says she's cool about, deep down inside she might not be.  Why don't you ASK her why she keeps bashing your man.  She could be jealous, or she could be telling the truth about how he really acts.  I have two friends who are MARRIED to my ex's, and I'm completely fine with it.  I never knock their hubbies or anything. Of course both of their hubbies are good guys, and I dumped them.
411461
yes, me...have two sons, both grown, both great guys and am very close to both of them (both straight, but it is not their fault, they were born that way). Ex wife and I are still very good friends to this day. She is happily remarried long ago, I am happy. Win-win situation after the turmoil settled down. Good luck
164942
My friendship with my ex never created a problem with my current b/f. My b/f understands that my ex and I were friends first and that's how we'll always be despite what happened in our relationship. There are certain boundaries that you should not cross though. There is always suspicion when it comes to dealing with your current's ex, and that's normal. It's a human thing. Just try not to take it too personal unless you're sure there's a reason to.
505796
use a common friend to get to your ex-wife. i think it's very noble of you to try to work things out among yourselves. if your ex-wife still refuse to accept the fact that you're actually doing her a favor by resorting to peacefull means, then you have no choice but to do whatever would be necessary for the sake of your child. you need not feel guilty then if the court decides in your favor because you have tried your best to warn her.
411921
I never got that whole if I date him no one can. if you guys are over, and you agreed to see other people then get over it, your not a very good friend if you wont let her have a chance at happiness. I don't see anything wrong with it if she was a good friend, but if she just stared at you and asked you why you were mad, that obviously tells you she's kind of a jerk, she obviously doesn't care about you or your feelings, considering you just told her you were still in love with him, if I started dating my friends ex I would have at least shown that I was sorry for causing any pain, but some thins cant be helped, such as holding back feeling for a guy, dang,...  then I'm sorry but if I were you I would have brought her down. keep in mind though that if you guys are supposed to be together you will and if he wanted to see other people then maybe you deserve better, unless it was your Idea in with case, WHAT ARE YOU BITCHING ABOUT. its not fun but remind yourself of 2 things first of all that she deserves the chance at him, and second of all that you may still have a chance of getting back together with him. I got back together with mine.  Good Enough?
421135
Obviously there were some serious problems in your marriage.  Seeing as how she's now your ex-wife, you're asking this question a little late, and asking if of the wrong people.  You should've asked her.  If you have a good relationship with her, you might try to get it out of her one day, maybe she'll tell you what happened with her in your relationship.  If I were to bet on it, I'd bet you took her for granted, you stopped courting her.  She felt like you didn't care about her anymore, so she went out and found someone who does.  I'm not condoning her actions, because I firmly believe that marriage is a lifelong committment, and you fix the problems in the marriage, and divorce really isn't an option.  But obviously you weren't giving her what she needed in your relationship.  Sorry......You probably need to just move on with your life.
562258
obviously you are an evil angel if your going to be so closed minded about something like that...your going to break up with a guy because of the kid or because of the ex wife?...if its the kid then thats f*cked up...but if cause of the ex....your only going on speculation...not fact...
547860
your kids will see in time what an idiot their father is being. dont curse him infront of the kids, rant to a friend, dont give your ex the attention he's craving by bringing up this matter, ignore it and be strong for your children. your new partner will have his own feelings about this matter, if he wishes to talk about it then get it out in the open, but avoid talking about this with the kids.
85779
This is a common problem that people should really just get over.  Shouldn't you be happy for your friend or even your ex.  Seems real immature to hold a grudge like that.  I say, if you really like the friend, blow off your ex or tell him to suck it up and deal.
188039
If he's admitted he still has feelings for his ex then if i were you i would leave him alone, he's using you to help him get over the brake down of his marriage!! you deserve better than that tell him how you feel and that what he's doing is wrong, people need time to get over stuff like that! walk away before you get really hurt! :)
83486
He may be trying to do either.  Just remind him that you are now ex-partners, and he needs to keep his social life to himself.  Refuse to get involved in this sort of discussion.  Sounds like it was a good idea to break it off.  He doesn't have clear boundaries.
251271
I know exactly what you mean. My husband and I separated seven months ago, and it's been really hard.\nI look forward to the day I can divorce him, not because I can't stand him (which I can't sometimes) but because that will be a day of closure for me.\nI keep reminding myself that this is a person I will be connected to forever. We have two children, and I have to see him all the time. I remind myself that I chose to be with this person and that I simply made a mistake. Unfortunately, now I have two children that will pay for that mistake, but life is what you make it.\nMy ex makes my life very difficult, but I have learned that I can't control people's behaviour, I can only control my reaction to it. I know it's easy to say that, but if you keep saying it and try not to react it will become easier as time goes on.\nNow, whenever my husband yells, swears, is rude in any way I don't just ignore the bad behaviour, I continue to talk to him in a very civil way. I don't kill him with kindness, I just speak to him the way I would like to be spoken to. It has slowly gotten better, and now he realises I'm not going to get into a screaming match with him he doesn't try and provoke me as much anymore.\nI hope I have been some help to you. It's never easy going through something like this. It is times like these when you find out who your real friends are, and you lean on them.\nFeel free to message me if you feel like it. Best of luck.
244405
I am a doctor and while having wild trouble with my wife, I decided to never be with here again.  I have 2 kids. A few months later, 4 to be exact, I started living with one of my patients, who is 40, and had a wild drive for me since 2 years ago. While being my patient nothing happened, but we started talking after I left my wife, never to return I thought. I lived with this woman for over a year, and that was the happiest time of my life. Nevertheless, my kids were having very serious trouble, and even though I did not wish to see my wife again, I decided to return to my kids and get them out of trouble. I will never stop loving my patient, she was the sweetest girl I've never known, but I cannot live happily with her while my kids are going down hill. I may be damned, but I need my kids to be OK for me to be happy, and they demand my presence. I could never feel happy while being with the woman I love while my kids are going through trouble. You being a virgin is not an issue to me, it should not be an issue to you, it should not be an issue for anybody loving you. What worries me is to find you left aside because this guy is married. I am not saying it is right or wrong, I am saying I doubt he will feel absolutely and sincerely happy with you while thinking about his kids. Been there, done that, don't go there, yo don't want to go there. You'll be happy for a while, and then you will know hell. Excuse my honesty, but I do not wish any human being to go through my experience. Hence I have the need to speak about it. And only anonimously. Take my word: you don't want this.\nPD: I am aged 46.
352640
She's one of those women who doesn't want the man anymore, but resent it when he is happy with someone else.Your boyfriend (husband) needs to put her in her place.  She has no place in your lives  and HE needs to make that clear to her.  Unfortunately when an ex-wife and kids are concerned there is always madness around.  Been there...done that.  Good luck.
660886
Hi there,\nI can somewhat relate to you in a sense that I was in your shoes when my boyfriend (now my husband) was doing the same thing like your wife did.  I think, I forgave him since we're not really together (I was in another state).  Yes, I was grossed out when I heard this and the thought of 2 on 1 is disgusting.  We decided that not to associate with those kind of people, which helps me to cope.  Out of sight, out of mind.   The most important thing about this ordeal is having trust in this person again and make sure that it won't happen again.  Yes, then your can feel more secure and comfortable being with this person again.\nBest wishes,
200679
I was the other woman, but didn't know it at the time. When I found out, I immediately ended the relationship as not to destroy a family. I didn't tell his wife, but told him that he should. Of course, he didn't. \n\nI just wouldn't want that thought on my mind, that I had been the cause of ending a marriage if it ever came to be  and I definately wouldn't have wanted it to happen to me if I were married.  No person deserves that kind of hurt.