He lives 3 hours away, and we are tying to get past his 1 act of infedelity that i am aware of. We have good days and bad days but now he is so withdrawn. After denying that he wants to end the relationship,and saying he is stressed because he isnt where he wants to be in life regarding his job and city of choice, he asks for us to just "pause" awhile. He has not called in three days.
201506
don't stress about it.  You should never sit around waiting for the phone to ring.  Go out and do something for yourself.  Go shopping or to a movie and get your mind of this.  Interact with people you haven't hung out with in awhile because of him.  When he's ready to talk he'll call.  Don't let your whole world be around him.  If he needs to find himself, let him.  Be there for him when he's ready to talk.  Take this time yourself to think about your relationship, have things ready to talk about when he's ready.
301172
Obviously this guy has issues with commitment. I think he is using you until something better and more appealing comes along. Its like you are his last resort when there isn't someone else. I would move out, stop returning his calls and distance yourself from him. There is nothing but heartache ahead if you allow yourself to become too emotionally involved. Keep him away and keep your heart to yourself if you have to be around him.
659698
I was in a long distance relationship for more than two years - we lived an hour apart - & at first we talked all day too & were together whenever we could be - but the last 9 months or so he stopped callin - it tapered off to once a day, then only once a week & we didn't spend so much time together - well, he ended the relationship a month ago with no explanation, just an e-mail. \nSo it sounds like even tho ya'll love each other, you are starting to drift as we did - it happens & it's hard to keep it from going south unless one of you can change to spend more time together. I was the only one making the effort there, too, for a long time - I drove to see him, never the other way around. I don't know - you may have to let this one go & move along. It bites, I know. Good luck.
25662
It sounds like if he's truly understood that you're gonna break it off with him and yet he still hasn't changed his attitude, then he's probably wanting you to break it off. Maybe it's one of the whole, "I don't want to do it so I'll MAKE her do it" type things. Give him this last chance, try to go out and do something that both of you enjoy without the distraction of friends and family. Let him know that it really does bug you when he acts this way. If he still seems like he wants to hang on and will change, you decide, you go for it or maybe you've had enough. But if he's STILL acting that way by the end of the "date" call it quits. Move on to a guy who'll treat ya better! Good luck girl!
535003
I can relate to you perfectly. The guy I have been with for just about a year did not know if he wanted to keep the relationship going. After a long talk I said I was willing to work on it but he still needed time to think it has been like 6 days now and he hasn't even called me. Your entitled to be sad and angry after all she wasn't 100% honest with you and that is always painful. About the being torn part the best thing I can say to you is to pray and ask who ever your god may be to give you the strength to get past this and to open your mind and heart so that you can know what it is you have to do. Also taking a break with her might not be a bad thing after all you never know what you have until you lose it. Good luck and I'll keep you in my prayers.
78904
If you are not in a relationship, then the line has already been drawn.  He's overstepping his boundaries, and needs to be put in his place.  If he's possessive and you're not in a relationship already, please don't get into a relationship with him.
32206
From what it sounds like, you are either insecure with your relationship and your position in his life, or you, deep down, want out of the relationship, so you ask questions that will in effect cause him to break things off, so you don't have to.
86032
he seems to be one of those who will not make up their minds for a life time.\nhe calls you back because he is lonely,\nthe next minute, he might be gone.\nkeep on the good work by keeping away form him.\nhe can easily hurt feelings.
320062
maybe its your job----kids--- stress.... i think i go down that road from time 2 time.... then---- its 1-1/2 hrs the next nite... try someting new... maybe a date with him...hope this helped u
405421
It sounds like both yours and his priorities are noncommittal. Seeing each other when convenient should be enough for now. If this was love you would not have to ask this question.
541762
he's just trying to make you jealous.  i would tell him it's not working and that it is just making you doubt the relationship.  if he doesn't stop after that then move on.
538940
Appreciate that he is returning your calls and has let you know that they're HIS issues, not yours.\n\nYou've only been hanging out a month.  Depending on what he has going on, that's really not enough time to develop trust.  It happens over time, and this relationship is in it's beginning stages.  It may not be an exclusive relationship, though it sounds like it's heading that way.\n\nDon't put any more pressure on him.  He knows you're there, he knows you're concerned.  That's enough.  If you continue to call him, then you need to ask yourself "Am I really concerned about him, or am I feeling insecure because I'm not part of what's going on?"  He's having some challenges right now, and I think he's handling this appropriately.  If you're really concerned about him, then keep it about him.  Be available to him if / when he needs you.  \n\nWhat's going on with him has nothing to do with you.  Keep this situation in its proper perspective; otherwise, you will lose him before you've gotten things off the ground.
531043
Ask for goodness sakes!  How are you going to be able to find out if things are going to get better if you don't take the next step.  Are you going to wait and depend on him?  He is probably totally oblivious.  You might have a long wait.  SOMEBODY needs to make a decision.  Good luck!
464395
I am very sorry.\nMy first love and I had a long distanced relationship, and it was so hard.  We used to live in the same town, but I moved out to a big city 6 hours away by train to attend a college, and since then we only could see each other once a month.  He had a job offer in that city once, because he wanted to be with me, but the deal was pretty bad, so he didn't take it at the end.  Eventually, I moved out of the country, and we never saw each other ever since.  \nI knew it was coming to end one day, but I just didn't want to believe it.  He was older then me, so he must have known better, but didn't say anything.  We used to call, and write to each other.  But when I started getting less and less responses, I still didn't believe that it was ending.  I was so sad, and so lonesome, and made so many mistakes in my life because of that.  I should have let go of it much earlier.\nI tell you, I know it hurts so much now, but you have to let him go.  You called him so many times that his mailbox is full, that tells you that he has already made up his mind and it's not going to change.  Even if he changes his mind now, that'll not sort out your distance problem, will it?  You will only feel worse as long as you try to work out something that's no longer in your hands.  Believe me, I know that.  \nYou won’t be able to feel fine about it today or tomorrow, but try to think about something else instead of how to get him back.  Try to give yourself a break from it little by little, and then you should start to feel better.
315187
The question is -  Where do you want to stand with him?  If you're just chatting it should be easy to get him out of your life -  Out of your Life is Big.  Is he on Drugs?  That would explain the mood changes.  You can be honest and tell him in your own way that you want to take a break, or whatever it is you want.  The "It's Me and Not You" is so lame.   You sound like a sincere, intelligent person, you'll figure it out - I believe it.
216183
Because you froze he thought you didn't want to. Lots of things will be going through his mind so he was probly unsure wot to think. Now yourve said yes he will be happy, but i guess unsure wot to do! its not everyday this happens, so prehaps he doesn't know what to do next! try and spend a weekend away together, just you too. He can't escape so you will have plenty of time to talk and errr....well wot eva else you choose to do!!
18393
Honey I'm not sure what to tell ya.  Don't give up on him.  Do you have anyway to contact him?  You should tell him how you feel.  I don't know why he hasn't talked to you in a month.  That concerns me a little.  Like I said, don't think bad, think good.  Hope things work out for you.