I just wanted to know if anyone had something witty or even terse that they wanted to say.....
212582
Classic epigram: \n\n"No one cares about your indigestion.\n'How are you?' is a greeting, not a question."
599482
Oh My God... I so can't believe you just said that!!!\n\nThanks for the giggle... My day is dragging sooooo very much today so I am searching for things to make me chuckle!!!
362266
Say Anything is awesome!\n\nGive Sugarcult a try
188490
here are some:\n\nA good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say: That's dynamite, baby.\n\nAnytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.\n\nAs the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.\n\nAs we were driving, we saw a sign that said: Watch for Rocks. Marta said it should read: Watch for Pretty Rocks. I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!\n\nAt first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be 'Clark Kent, Dentist,' because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said: How's my back tooth? and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said: Oh it's okay, then the patient would probably say: Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid? and you'd say: Aw &*$# you, get outta here, and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.\n\nBroken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?\n\nConsider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.\n\nDad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.\n\nDuring the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were 'just going down to the corner.'\n\nFear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaught on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say: Think again, bat man.\n\nFor mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?\n\nHe was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said: Dust to dust, some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others: I'll be waiting for you in heaven - with a gun.\n\nHow come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak.\n\nI can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.\n\nI can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like: Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me? or: Do you have that $50 you borrowed? Man, quit being so cheap!\n\nI don't pretend to have all the answers, I don't even pretend to know all the questions.. Hey, where am I?\n\nI guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet.\n\nI guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said: I helped skin Bob.\n\nI hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas w
207458
Well after looking into a few of your answers and tallying up the times I laughed here are the results:\n\nFunny- B...you made me laugh, you made me cry, but then other times I wanted to say "What the...?"\n\nClever- C...you had a couple of good ones there but no cookie.\n\nOriginality- B-...sometimes I didn't know what you where talking about\n\nBest on Yahoo? No...I've seen better but keep up the good work, you'll be there yet!!
565112
Just email me back.. You can talk negatively.. in a positve way LOL I had to and did, you need to be honest, no matter what in any situation, just make the best of it!  BOY do I have a story to tell.....
488972
oh wow... funny!  You have some good ones there.... keep em coming! I like your sence of humor
543678
G'day Poopsy,\n\nThanks for posting.\n\nI've had a rotten day at work and welcomed a good laugh.\n\nAnyway, I might try some of those remarks at Christmas time. However, as we are in Australia, we will have prawns (shrimp) and oysters so I mightn't be able to get away with using some of them.\n\nMerry Xmas to you and all your friends and family.
653218
funnni...\nkeep it up need so humour once in a while..\n*~*
258506
I have always wondered the same thing. I thought i was the only one.  I think i usually say "your excused" or "uh-huh." I really donot know what to say without sounding funny.  That is not a silly question at all though.  I think it is a very good question.
72652
mildly amusing. \nNow I have some humorous audio for you (below)
172910
Thank You! That made me laugh, and I really needed one now.\n\nI liked it very much.
480039
shame yours were the best........\nYahoo should do a minute silence because no laughs will be about now!!!!
513080
Make like a goalie and drop it\nmake like a politician and lie\nmake like the wind and blow\nmake like a fire and go out\nmake like a really serious answer on Yahoo answers and be ignored\n\nOK these are crap but what do you expect from me? witty remarks?
526738
Made me laugh and i like pple capable of laughing about themselves. You Must have heard this Irish blessing I'm sure !!\n"Grant me a sense of humor, Lord, \nthe saving grace to see a joke, \nTo win some happiness from life, \nAnd pass it on to other folks. "
153969
None I like honesty and truth. Goofiness is ok but be yourself do not use some lame pick up line I have heard a million times before
138235
Very witty...\nfor a moment i wanted to put No because i just read the part that said 'not a girl'.... but i am a girl... \nagain: nice one & u almost got me!