My friend has a problem she says that her husband makes love to her only like 2 times a month, she wants to know is that normal this has been going for 7 years now but it has come to a point where she can't take it no more. If he makes love to her he won't make love to her in 3 -4 weeks later and she has to basically beg for sex she says that she feels like a slut and she has decided to become like him cold. She has even thought of seperation . She already asked him whats wrong but he says nothing he works and when he comes back he falls sleep she understands that he is tired but she says thats no excuse she also works in the same place as him.\nPlease help her seriouse answers he says he is going to change but a month passes and he goes back to the same thing \np.s. He is a work-Aholic
207461
We define "normal" between ourselves in relationships. She has to weigh all the factors in the relationship to decide whether or not to stay. I couldn't be with someone like that unless the conversation was fantastic.
245078
All good relationships can go bad if there is no communication.  Ask your friend what's up and why he's been acting differently.  He might have something else going on , or he might be embarrassed about telling you something most guys would never want to admit to anybody.  Tell him that his sex secrets are safe with you.  He'll know that you are a true friend.  Don't try to give him pointers on girls (unless he asks), he would probably feel worse.  Just be there for him if he needs you and don't worry about his sex life.  He'll work that out on his own.
178201
Sex is very important in mine and my husbands relationship . I will be honest and say for two weeks we have not had sex or talked much about anything and we always had talked before . After my husband went to  work today I emailed him and asked him what was going on . He says he's been tired and under a lot of stress at work and has a lot of stress because his brother lost his kids . I have been so sad the past week just because I didn't feel loved or wanted . After he talked to me about what was going on I felt a lot better but sex helps people feel more loved and wanted . To me sex and talking is a big part of a relationship .\n\nAngel
247264
Not normal to me and I've been with my husband for almost 20 years. To each their own though. I have a friend that only has sex when she wants to have a baby and thinks that this is the only time they need to have any intimate contact. Funny world sometimes.
590922
I feel sorry for you. I think that she still loves and cares for you, but she has been emotionally drained from the marriage.\n\nWhen a woman is fed up she is fed up. Especially when she in truly in love and her partner is not returning the emotions. She can only keep trying for so long before she has to stop and think about if it is really worth it.\n\nI don't want to say but here it is" You should have treated her like a queen when you had her". It may be to little to late, but try and remain on good terms with her. She may just give you another chance. Just remember, if she does come back, don't fall into the routine of neglecting her feelings. If she leaves again, she may never come back.\n\nGood Luck!
41810
sure sounds like a drinking problem's probably the 'real' problem. He sounds inhibited, and the drinking at least for a time lowers his fears, nervousness, insecurity, inhibition, guilt or whatever levels ... addictive behavior...do you honestly believe that your honest feelings are at fault? Sounds difficult, complicated...and, perhaps, getting worse. Whether he's having 'commitment phobias' or just expecting you to do as he says, or whatever he's perhaps not discussing, he sounds 'out of control', but he wants to 'be in charge'...something in him might be feeling ashamed, low self-esteem/image, and, he's demanding that you follow his routine, with implied not much room for spontaneity, let alone you feeling love(-d), safe (at peace, unperturbed) and valued -- but, how can he value you, if he's troubled about who he is -- or, why else drink/escape, and then try to use sex with such timing, like drunk clockwork. It sounds like your feelings are good, clear, trying to communicate...your feelings are innocent, your true companions/guides...BEST WISHES...in finding (out) your way(-s)
426279
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!!! I am in the same situation. Don't let him pressure you, its not fair, your sweet little girl hasn't even been out of your stomach longer than she was in! How can you feel "normal" yet? My daughter is 5months and I am SO TIRED, the LAST thing on my mind is sex, we are down to maybe twice a week, from at least once every day before I was pregnant. Talk to your husband about how you feel and explain to him that you love him and to be patient with you. You'll get back in the game, don't worry.
319216
I recently had a promblem with my man last week,My man hit my friend's ass but she didn't tell me.Her girlfriend was the one who told me.My friend told everyone else but me.My man did not deny it, but he said it was not in a bad way.You see my man is a funny and very cool guy,and everyone gets along with him.He goes out of his way to please everyone and makes a joke out of everything.I've been with my man for 4 yrs.He's never even flirted with a girl since he's been with me.We go every where together and do everything together.He shows me nothing but alot of love and gives me so much attention.He will do anything for me and always helpsme out all the time.WE HAVE AMAZING SEX everynight and morning.He doesn't care who's around us,he will be hugging me and kissing me all the time.Now about my friend,I've only have known her for about 10 months,but i've known her girlfiend for 5 yrs.My friend has only been coming around and kicking it here at my house for about 4 months.She started getting to comfortable and start caring herself a little overboard with our guy friends.Suposely she's a lesbien,but she started acting like she wanted to jump in the sack with these guys.Later on when she started telling everone about my man hitting her ass, she stood out with one of my guy friends til 5am.She said that when my man did this to her ,she was traumatized.She still came around my house the next 2 days after this happend and i even left them alone in our bedroom together and she was joking around with him.Don't you think if she was so traumatized over this she wouldn't come to my house or she would have told me something what happend.Well the turn out to all this is,I forgave my man and I forgave my friend too. So both of them are in my life.I looked at both sides and did not side with either one but blamed them both.Did I do the right thing in staying with my man and keeping her friendship?I still feel disrespected from my man and hurt with my friend.I don't know if I should still allow my friend back to my house and if I should trust them both again cause at this point I can't trust know one at all!Should I just kick them both out of my life because once they hurt you or disrespct, they will in time do it again.WHAT SHOULD I DO!
190034
okay first off, you have been married for 25 years so you should know how to be the sensitive husband by now. First off she just had a major surgery. Second her hormones are going crazy and are mostly likely non existant.  Finally she may be suffering from depression.  reproductive hormones are chemicals, just like many chemicals in the body their is the master system that tries to regulate them.  While many times outside sources (think toxins) can affect them, inside sources (such as deficiencies) can affect them but most of all they are affected by stress.  That is why stress is such a powerful advisary and while people with less stress are healthier and happier, becuase their chemical bodies are too... everything that happens in your body is the result of a chemical process.\n\nthe best thing that you can do is drop the sex talk, thoughts and conversation. Take any pressure off of her.  When you talk about it, persue her or ask about it is just reminds her that she is broken, makes her feel like that is your focus and reinforces her internal stuggles.  Drop all aspects of it for like a solid week... be very supportive and open with her discussing other things, specifically how she is feeling, what she is thinking and so on.  heavily encourage discussions, meetings with her women friends as most often they will not open up enough to deal with it to a man.  Women just have different communication some times.  I would say if you can keep this up for two weeks and she isn't doing any better in the attitude/ outlook/ perspective department (not the sex dept) then suggest she see a doctor as she may be depressed or suffering from traumatic stress... \nthis is what I would suggest.  But if nothing else back off of her and sex other wise it will only make it worse..
115737
Well ive never been threw it but ill be more then happy to give you my 2 cents with out calling you a slut, i think part of it is your husbands fault for not making sure you have what you need, now i know alot of people are going to scream for me saying that but its the truth, in a marriage part of our job is doing everything possible to make sure our partner is getting everything we need from them emotionally or sexually. Thats just the way it works for a healthy marriage, The only bit of advice i could give you not being actually in that situation is to eather pick on or the other, i can see you feeling even more torn when your feelings for this other guy are fostered even more and you cant act on it, not to mention the emotional and sexual frustrations that can easily bring. I can understand why you turned to this other man for support you wernt getting at home. But i can only see you hurting yourself in the long run if you dont cut ties with one of them. That is unless you totally dont love your husband anymore and your just in it for everything youve envested on a tangable level that you dont want to lose. But honestly do you think if you bumped this relationship up with this other guy you would be able to continue this double life, i hate to label it that way but thats the only thing i can think of to call it right off the top of my head, but i think you understand where im coming from. You need to set a game plan in your head on where you want to go in life if things with this other guy keep developing, what happens if this guy says ok ill chuck my marriage will you chuck yours? what if he talks about you guys meeting and making a full flaired affair? What if your husband finds out about whats going on how will you respond? How will your husband? Im not saying i know what you should do or what you need to do, but if i were you i would get a clear picture of what i wanted from your husband or from this other guy. Do you think there would be a possiblity you would be more happy in your marriage if your husband started to work with you on your problems with the marriage? Do you think there is any hope for you marriage now? Do you think your husband is doing the same thing you are on some sort of level? IF he was how do you feel about it? I think you need to ask yourself these kinds of questions and in deep deep detail figure out what you want to do, i dont think anyone in here can really answer those kinds of questions and give you any much more of a clear picture then you seriously thinking about this i wish you all of luck and i really hope you get something figured out on this *HUGS*
196902
that's ok if your spouse want's sex more then you but when you are sick he schould be worrying about your health not sex.it is terribly that he is not thinking of you.i have the best husbant.i was in the hosp for 2 week's had surgery and had 35 staples in me and my husbant could not have sex four over 8 weeks and he never once ask me to have sex why i'm going to tell you why because he loves me and he worryes about me.and i'm not saying that to hurt you but it's true.if your husbant loves you he would be more under standing. or you can do what my sister did to her husbant he wanted sex all the time he sounds like your husbant so she put itching powder in his under were well he did not want sex for a while.lol p.s. when he is sick does he still want to have sex?
259781
Hello Lisa, my wife and I went to counsleing for several years. We had only one problem in our marriage. I wanted sex more than she did. We were great in every other way.\nWe tried 3 different counsleors and what happened to us was after a few sessions, the counselor seemed to side with one of us and then the other person felt like they were being picked on by the counselor and our spouse. We gave up with them and started e-mailing each other! We both literally spilled our guts. We were very open with our feelings and the e-mail allowed us to say what we wanted without the other person interrupting! It took a few months of doing this but within about 2 weeks, we both felt that we were on to something! We both agreed to be more positive about things in general. If one of us was down, the other person picked them up. We both made efforts to do things the other person enjoyed. We started having more sex but I was no longer pressuring her to do this. Without the pressure from me, her desire picked back up! Now after almost 11 years of marriage, we go at it like two teenagers! I am not saying that counselling won't work for the two of you but you could try what worked for us. Talk to your husband and see if he is willing. It does take time but it sounds like you still love him and you have a beautiful 2 year old child who I know would enjoy having two happy parents!\nI will keep an eye on this question and if you want to discuss this more, let me know.\nI wish you and your family the very best of luck!
530816
I'm sorry to hear that you are having this problem with your wife.......however it doesn't mean that this is the end of your relationship. Women begin experiencing many changes in their bodies in their 40's (for example, menopause doen't all happen at once, there are different phases, it may take years to fully get through it), and it could be very possible that these hormonal changes are causing her lack of sex drive.\n\nI would try to be as sensitive and supportive to your wife as possible, as she may be having a hard time dealing with this herself, and then to also feel that she's letting her husband down is also an emotional strain. Ask her questions about what and how she is feeling towards you, but not in a judgemental or  way, maybe phrase it like, "I've noticed that we haven't been intimate, I just wanted to talk about it and see if there's anything I can do because I miss our closeness." \n\nShe could also be feeling low self-esteem. Do you still let her know that she is the love of your life and you think she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen? These sincere compliments can really lift a gal's spirits. Have you thought about surprising her with a date night, just out of the blue, something that she'd love to do. Remind her of the days you first started dating, relive some of your old memories together.  \n\nTell her as gently as you can that while she sees this as no big deal, you are feeling like something that the two of you once shared is missing, and it's important for you to understand why. We are all human beings and have needs, the fact that you so badly want to share this act of love with her and her only, but she's not interested is affecting you. \n\nIn conclusion, I think that in order to fix any of your problems, you'll have to open up the lines of communication. But I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that this is a sure sign of a failing relationship. Take into consideration all of the possible factors, and discuss them with your wife. Maybe a marriage counselor would help you both to express your feelings and concerns with each other. I wish you the best of luck, and remember to always tell your wife that you love her!
34841
Well if she is preggers, sex in the first trimester is kinda icky, to say the least at least it was for me and some other women ive talked to, if she thinks its lacking passion, maybe thats because she has it in her head shes not making love to you anymore shes making a baby with you, maybe thats how your treating it lately, Tell her if she wants passion,youll give her passion... make love to her like you did when you were first together, rediscover every inch of her body, remember that now you probably know how to get her from 0 to 60 in 5 minutes, take your time like you used to, get her to the point where shes close, and start to do something else, tease her with the idea of getting off, dont just hand a orgasum to her on a silver platter, think **here it is but you cant have it** trust me when my better half gets this attitude OMG its MINDBLOWING when he finally lets me have it ;) i hope that helps i know it works when this mentality gets used on me hehe :P
118153
Dear girl, Oh my... I wish you had asked for advice 2 years ago; perhaps much of your pain could have been avoided.\n\nYou say you two have NOT been in a committed relationship for over 2 years and you are still with him. WHY are you still in this relationship? He's NOT committed to you and hasn't been for 2 years! Is he sleeping with other women? Are you sleeping w/ other men? Have you even thought about the risk of HIV and AIDS? You two have a child now. And my dear, why did you get pregnant with a man who hasn't been committed to you? You should never have sex with any man who is not committed to you. He gets sex, you get hurt. It happens every time. Unfortunately, you are not the  only one getting hurt; you have made a baby and brought your child into this situation. \n\nDo you two still live together because you have a child, or because it's easier than moving out? Let me ask you, does he support you and your child financially? Are you you paying any of the bills? Are you paying bills for your baby? If your baby's father is not supporting you 100% emotionally AND financially, then you are better off leaving for good, once and for all. I am sorry to say this, but it sounds to me like he may be using this "money issue" as an excuse and he doesn't have the guts to get out of the relationship. Some men can't handle being fathers, especially if they are not in love with the baby's mother. Having a baby brings a couple in love even closer, but couples who are not in love do not get closer after the baby is born.\n\nI wish I could tell you otherwise, but I definitlely think it's time for you both to be grownups. Living the way you both are is not the adult, responsible way to solve this problem. Make an agreement regarding the child's support and visitation and part company amicably. Many women with small children meet other men who do love them and will be committed to them and their child/children. My father met my mother when she was a yound divorcee with a 2 year old and married her and proceeded to have 2 more children with her. They were married 53 years until he passed. There is hope for you to do the same.\n\nIf you are not good with $$$, then take some money management classes (@ a local school, community college, aid center). You will need these skills whether you are on your own or not. \n\nIf you were not honest regarding $$$ with your partner, then I suggest you get to church, temple, etc., and you start being honest with God and yourself. Remember, you have a child you need to be teaching good values to now. If you were honest, then you're okay there, but going to a place to have a relationship with God will still be powerful for you at this time. \n\nYou CAN start a new and better life. Don't give up on yourself, no matter how hard it may be at times!
393311
Well im in the same situation but my man tells me im a sex maniac,,,,that might be true but i have needs to when i want it i should be able to get it.  He says because we live together he doesnt want to do it all the time because things will get old fast. Well i dont agree...if he tried to change things up....which i would love to try new things there wouldnt be an issue. Im tired of initiating sex all the time,,,im 5 yrs older than him,,so whats his problem?? He cant keep up with me,,it gets very frusturating,,,i know exactly how you feel. All i can say is back off him for awhile and see how he likes it,,he will start to think somethings wrong then wont he??? Dont pay it any mind for awhile....take care of yourself until he gets the hint. Me being a very sexual person it really aggravates me. And no hes not cheating because we are always together when we arent working. We love eachothers company,,,but he says our relationship isnt all about the sex....grrr i know that but dam give me what i want.
282086
16 years and NOW it's causing problems?\n\nIs she wanting it less frequently because you want it so much? She is just sick and tired or the incessant demands?\n\nYou both sit down and discuss this.\n\nLet her know that you enjoy the carnal aspect of your marriage and realize that she is uncomfortable with three or four times a day (Don't you have a job?)\n\nSee is she would be amenable to four time a month.\n\nMarriage is give and take. See what you can work out that makes both of you happy,