iam taking medication for social anxiety problems now a days. actually i have tolerated all the mishaps and misunderstandings from my dearest and colleagues form my young age itself, till some months back when i was unable to tolerate a friend casually literally made some statements about love with one of my friend who is beautiful (for me , now). till then and after also i never proposed or is courageous, or to say never took it seriously to love some lady by heart. it felt like thunderbolt hitting my head. i was unable to understand what is happening in me. i never ever felt like that one. actually i think that was my first experience with such high intencity. i am highly educated, but is highly sensitive too, i came to understand only these yrs. what was wrong and when back to had be corrected. because i think i am never a mate (not physically, but by character and taste and behaviour ) for her. but her highs and lows and slow movements and i think also her voice and looking..wt t d
205251
I just wanted to encourage you. I have serious dating anxiety. I really like people but I always just give and give and so therefore I have trouble even considering dating anyone right now.
249048
I used to be really shy, especially around people I liked. I guess I got nervous. Then I realized, Just relax & talk to them like I'd known them 4ever, & if they don't like me, then I'm no worse off than I was before. I've made a lot more friends that way!
141347
People are too scared to tell you how they feel to your face.  I get talked about behind my back but I also have a problem with saying things about others.  I always thought it was human nature, though not okay to do so.  I don't like doing it, and I am trying to stop, but I just find that I am a cynic and I just have trouble telling people what I really think of them to avoid confrontation.  So, I say it to someone else.  I definitely don't think it's okay, I never have, but old habits are hard to break.  I know that it is wrong...judge not lest thee be judged, but it is hard to change, right?
561198
Well I guess it has already happened.  People I loved.  Either relationships ending or people I know who died very close to me.  For a while I felt destroyed but I am able to move on and live.. It is the test of life and our will to live and move on.  We are very connected to each other some times in not such a healthy way so disconnection is very difficult for us.. There is not education in schools about this type of survival and there should be I feel.  We don't get enough answers from family.  True survival when all seems impossible.  I am more of an open person and those who showed no weaknesses, fears, emotions are the ones closed off afraid to love and be loved.   IT takes a lot to be open you are the special person trying your hardest to learn..  But it is true there are time and places for showing your true self.  Not on the first date sister.  Once you love each other and you feel safe is good time.
66759
I am sorry that you are going through this, but everyone has at one time or other.  I know it feels like the end of the world, but it isn't.  If you were haveing numerous misunderstandings then it wasn't meant to be.  You may go through several more of these before you find the right one.I am a firm believer that there is someone for everyone out there.  Just got to  weed out the bad ones.  Hope this makes you feel some better.  Good Luck to you!
634971
You're NOT an idiot at all: your actions have shown both courage and devotion...two components of both true love and friendship. How she eventually responds will depend on your shared "chemistry" and where her life experience falls on the learning curve of love.\n\nI can tell you, however, I've been in her place and understand her perspective. A close friend revealed his feelings for me some months ago, and at first it was hard for me to see him as more than a friend (also, I feared losing his friendship!), but he responded similarly to your actions...proving over time he'd not pressure me, and truly cared for me in whatever capacity we could share our lives. Now, he's MUCH more than a friend AND we've found the strength of our friendship helped us overcome typical romantic spats, etc. The time spent in friendship made the love lasting. \n\nPlease do not feel foolish. You've been honest and patient. (Foolish would be never having the guts to tell her how you feel, or rejecting her when she didn't return your desires immediately.) Continue being yourself, and dedicate yourself to the friendship...give her TIME...possibly she'll see your strength and affection, understand the man you can be in her life, and return your feelings. \n\nEither way, here's a quote I like: \n"You are what you love, not what loves you."
225677
I had similar experience too. Initially I had a hard time deciding whether it was due to some fault of mine or that whether I should have been more tolerant. I even felt that maybe I could go and explain to my friend why I had stopped talking with him altogether.\n\nBut then, I felt that it was for the best. Maybe I was wrong in some aspects, but it was wrong on his part too to not have been understanding and to have taken things for granted. A true friend would never put his/her friend in a spot or do/say something which would hurt his/her friend's feelings -atleast not intentionally- and since this was happening quite often, I felt it was not unintentional (and even if it was, then it meant that he was being too insensitive).\n\nRegardless, now I have no bad feelings about it. We should move on... there will always be new friends both for us and for our 'ex-friend'... I just wish now that he too has moved on and I wish him all the success and happiness in life- only that I cant be a part of it. Nothing to feel too bad about it, huh?
214231
It is because it is "safe" for you.  This is so common with people.  We are all afraid of love because we're afraid of rejection. We have learned that rejection is a reflection of us but it isn't.  People are gonna like you or they're not. Simple really.  So we as humans begin to feel attractions to things that are "safe" for us because we're not stable enough in our own confidence.  Swear it.  Sounds heavy but it is a psychological fact.  To overcome this, (besides therapy), you have to understand that love is not perfect because it is a person giving and receiving it and people aren't perfect.  Love will dissapoint at times and when it does, we feel that we will not be okay.  But we will.  We will be okay and it is safe to love a person once we define our boundaries and communicate them clearly to others.  So the cartoon enfatuation is really your subconscious saying that "I don't feel 100% safe and secure truly loving another human being cause I might get really hurt".  But it is okay to get hurt, and  you will be just fine.  :).   If you all think I'm silly, think about pedafiles and such.  This crime is a result of mostly men not every developing emotionally and therefore can only relate to intimacy through something that they can totally control.  Disturbing but this goes to show us all how many people lack proper develpment in the emotional and mental aspects of the brain, if you will.
79873
YOu show an awareness of the reason for your discomfort with women.  It could also be a fear of intimacy which is quite common especially if you had some kind of abuse as a child. It is a subconcious fear that you may be hurt somehow. I don't know how you would resolve this without some regular talk therapy. You need to explore it a lot each day and write your thoughts about it in a journal you keep to hlep you figure out and understnad it. Once you understand it completely it will lose its hold on you and you can gradually overcome it.
432008
I don't want to be critical, but I want to be honest in my answer.\n\nI had this same fear after my 2nd marriage ended.  Thank goodness I had a dear friend who saw what I was experiencing and helped me rebuild my self-esteem and helped me "find myself".  I realized that I was not happy with myself and that I needed to be before I got involved again.  This was not a quick process.  And it was a lonely one.  But I thank God every day that I went through it.  When I quit looking and found out that I actually liked myself, I found a great guy.  He and I are no longer together, but I found that I am a complete person without a man.  This has given me a whole new perspective on life and relationships.  Since then, I have met and dated a much higher quality of men.  The man I'm seeing now is a wonderful and thoughtful man who is a good father and is concerned about the people around him.  This is want I wanted and what found me.\n\nI hope my experience can help!
106387
Been tru some crap myself.... people use you and just treat you like a sweet wrapper.... Dont bother going out with those girls anymore, they sound mean and sorry if its harsh but you need to get to know yourself. Know thyself and you will then know that you are better and worth more than a million of those girls..\nSpend time reading or journal writing or spirituality. Spend quality time with you, focus on a hobby... anything. By the way I am 25 and not some old granny trying to give you wholesome advice.\nI have been in this situ b4 so when I started telling my so called friends that I couldent go out or do that favor (for watever made up reason.. my dog is sick, I have an appointment, my car brokedown, ) I began to realise the reason I felt so bad about myself was because they manipulated me to feel just that in their own twisted way.\nAfter some time of spending time with you or people who only judge you by your standards you will see that you are worth so much more and have lovely qualities and attributes that are highlighted by those who love you. Thos girls bring out the worst in you. Dont give them that chance any more. It will take some time and you will get frustrated by lonliness but come on , dont suffer these fools gladly... Best of Luck xxxx
239481
First rule of thumb. Don't let people walk all over you or make you 2nd guess yourself. If you know that you did nothing wrong than I wouldnt let it bother you and maybe start looking for a new friend because it doesnt sound like she is much of a friend. If my real friends had a problem with me they would tell me what was going on and how they felt. And you have every reason to treat her as she treats you.
577902
I remember always thinking people thought i was sensitive and I thought i was moody because of it.  What i have learned and i don't know if this goes for you but it's a shot, is that it wasn't that i was sensitive it was that i wasn't effective with telling people how i really felt.  I wasn't assertive enough. My feelings would get hurt easily and then i would get moody. I use to think having sensitivity was a weakness but i realized it is more of a blessing in a world where there are people who can be very insensitive.  Communicating effectively with the people around you will give you the confidence to not misunderstand what they are saying to you. For example, say someone says something to you that you interpret as hurtful, it is o.k. to calmly ask this person, what did you mean by that?  If they say Oh, I'm only kidding, calmly say, with confidence, i didn't fine that funny. Every situation, of course, will be different. If you practice being more assertive you will find that it is o.k. to keep your sensitivity and the moods will fade away.  Being sensitive is not a bad thing sadness and stress is.
411381
Hello there! I know how you feel as I have a fiancee with same problem. However, he is on therapy for something much worse so he also treated social anxiety....for a bit.....but i read a lot about it to be able to understand him and help him....all I can say now he is back to his university :), he is so much better!!! Definitly if you can, go to therapy it really helps, and you have to keep yourself in contact with social events so you don't get rasty too much :) as fear tends to grow in our minds for the things we are afraid of, and we are afraid of the things we don't know. So force yourself into it, and you will see after some time you will have more confidence, and you will see that it's not so scary as it seemed. In my "research" to help my fiancee I found this site that could be of a great help to you as well. It's a forum where you can chat with people with same problems as yours, just to know you are not alone...maybe you find out much more about your fear through them and their posts. www.socialanxietysupport.com\nGood luck!
68597
Love differs in every person, but for my experience i grown to love this person, we starts as friends, in just a short time i feel comfortable being close with him, i trust everything about my self, i fell secured everytime he's with me, i told him even the shamefull experience i had. I am never bother with my weaknesses for i know that with him everything will be alright. There is always security in this relationship. i fell contented.
397669
i know how you feel. my friend did the same thing and unfortunately she has changed alot and we are not close like we used to be. but that doesnt mean that it has to be that way for you too( hopefully it wont! )\n\nat first my friend was confused i would try to help her out as much as i could and now i guess shes made up her mind (she has a gf now) and i just let her do her own thing. \n\nits sad becuase we hardly talk like we used to.  oh well what can you do
474399
Well yes for once i do feel like you. And the week that passed i was in the eye of the storm, loosing my cat and watching my puppy die. Since i have no friends either in the country i live the last 3 years, i lost my 2 precious "babies" that kept me some company, altho im only 26 and not bad looking.\n\nIn previous summer i had a horrible incident of panic attack , i could not breathe. I went to Hospital but nothing was organically wrong with me, it was psychologicly caused from anxiety and feeling awful all the time.\n\nSince then, and becouse i hate having panic attacks i try to relax and never let anyone spoil my personal moments.\n\nIn this i want to to point out how much important it is to focus on your life in case you have been focusing on making other ppl's lifes better and neglecting your own. (just in case)\n\nAlso, friends are easily made if you make an effort. I grew up travelling around and i know how hard it is, im not good at it either. But i have learned in practise, if you are happy to make friends, you will at the end! It is natural.\n\nJust dont expect too much from ppl, and always be easy on yourself...especially if u feel bad...take your time, cry or be lazy, dont ponder and dont ask "about the future"\n\nEnjoy your ,even lonely, moments. You are definitaley, NOT ALONE in this.