?'S DEALING WITH TRUST ISSUES.. NOW MY QUESTION IS WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING WITH SOME ONE IF THERE'S NO TRUST.. YOU GOTTA HAVE TRUST, HONEST, COMMUCATION, LOVE, FOR A RELATIONSHIP TO WORK. I COULDN'T OF ASK FOR A BETTER MAN THAN THE ONE I HAVE NOW,, I KNOW THERE HAD TO BE MORE GOOD GUYS OUT THERE.. ? SO WHATS UP..
208826
You are correct, if you cannot trust someone than why be with them.  Trust is so hard to get, yet so easy to lose and next to impossible to ever completely get back.
107317
relationships began with head games and cons will end with head games and cons. Get over it and move on with honesty. You want your man to trust you right?
23079
Trust is sometimes not there.  He might have done a lot of mistrusting things in his lifetime.  I know one someone who always did not trust his girlfriends.  The reason was that he always cheated on them.  If you cheat, you have a habit of thinking others cheat on you.
254612
Trust him in regard to what? If you both love one another , have a committment & believe in one another, what else do you want? Trust is a very important part of a relationship.\nYou maybe don't trust yourself, huh?
231113
It can be hard to maintain a relationship between 3 people . But if you are good friends first, being lovers can open a whole new side to your relationship.  The greatest challenge, can for some, be spending equal time together and apart. Just try not to let ego's get in the way. Not many people can successfully pull off this type of relationship, but because of many reasons many people who do, don't talk about it. I'm glad someone else has brought up a topic like this. thanks.
618950
No, guys are not honest enough to answer this. But I'm going to try anyways.\n\nMany *people*, not just guys, have this limitless capacity to love and care for others. Often, they feel obligated to share it with as many as they can safely.\n\nNobody trusts a single other person enough to put their life in another's hands these days. Nobody at all. After all, is it not foolish of a thing to do?\n\nAnd entire lifetime of focused attention and loving on one single person is scary and creepy. It's literally obsessive - which is not necessarily the BAD thing people make it out to be. But they still make it out to be bad. And people, even madly in love, can only tolerate so much from one another before one becomes "smothered" and burned out by the relationship. Which is EXACTLY what is trying to be avoided.\n\nAnd the person that needs the loving more will find it one way or another - because they give it just as much.\n\nFinally, these days there is no standard of coupling. There is no example to follow. There is really no concept of a "right relationship" anymore, either. Even a monogamous, married couple is nigh-impossible to live as, these days. It works well for "simple givers" and "simple takers", but many people these days need to be both - and 90% of them don't feel like being "takers" - even though that's really what it's all about. Once you're a couple, be a little selfish, and trust each other with your wants and needs. And with lack of standards, many people don't really have "expectations" to judge their relationships by, either.\n\nIt doesn't help that secrets, lies, affairs, and drama are *highly publicized*, almost to the point of being worshipped.\n\n*Sorry if that's a little long winded...*
84553
without trust you have nothing.  So figure it out sweety.  It is not worth it to argue with someone.  Relationships are based on happiness.  Yes, there will be fights but not all the time.  I think it is more that you are not compatible.
437713
If you have issues with trust, why are you dating someone in another state? I dated my husband long distance for almost 4 years and never had to follow any kind of rules such as these...if he had said we needed rules about calling or texting, I would have known I didn't need him because he didn't trust me. I think you totally did the right thing...now this guy can find someone that will trust him and not put him under her thumb.
406868
I would say it is a big sign that the relationship isn't all it should be.  I know sometimes people do make mistakes, but to me, I'd rather move on after being cheated on than risk being hurt that way again.  But that's me, once the trust is broken then I can't seem to get past it.  Lots of people's relationships married or not do survive infidelity though.  I guess it just depends on the who what and why's.
623799
Gurly-Q, I will pray for you!! I too was lied to, betrayed, and deceived over and over for 6 years with my EX. Keyword is EX! You can only be hurt by this man and others like him. Once you decide to no longer be afraid that a better man won't come down the pike, you will be able to move on. I decided I would rather be alone for the rest of my days than listen to another lie and be expected to believe it and instill that trust back to him. I know being single sucks but it also rocks! You can go on several dates in a week if you want and YOU call the shots! My mom once told me, "With one of these (indicating female anatomy), you have the power and can get as many of those (men) you want." Take back your power, babygirl. The next time you go on a date, look for signs that he is a deceiver. Ask pointed questions and be upfront about things you are not looking for. I, too, have thought things would be easier if I dated women...but it's still a relationship. If you really love women, go for it, babe. But, if you absolutely love men, you can't let this make you bitter toward them and start batting for a team you don't feel 100% part of. Also, I think every girl out there that hasn't just settled for a guy has been through this...you are so not alone. My heart really does go out to you, sister in misery!
102375
Cheating!  And look what's become of you as a result of being with a person you don't, and should not trust.  You cannot stop someone from cheating.  You can however control yourself. Time to move along.  Better to be alone than to be driven to insane behavior.  Sure relationships require work, but not hard labor.  Is this how you want to live you life worrying and snooping?  There really are honest, true men out there, and there is one waiting for you.
521778
Your hurt is very understandable.You can't allways know what the other person is doing in a relationship and this is where trust comes in.We all want to trust someone and not have to think about what may happen if they do go astray.Not all men are this way.Some of us would love to meet someone that feels the same way and would respect a bond between 2 people.Maybe you are attracting this type of person.Look at where you have met these men and see if there is any connection as to the locations.I'm not suggesting that you hang out in the wrong places but maybe the men you meet are there for the purpose of finding women.Just a thought.
134088
I think that honesty and trust can overcome any other attraction. If you have that than your relationship can last forever. If you have honesty and trust every other feeling will come with it.
311256
I agree with some of the other responses. You need to start with a clean slate. Stop thinking of the past because this unfortunately could harm some really awesome relationships you may encounter. Have you ever tried to seek help for your trust issues? Maybe you should seek counseling to work through your emotions. It is not easy to find a good guy, but as I say this to most women, there are warning signs/red flags to look out for when you are dating. If something seems off and your heart is telling you something, don't continue to date the guy. A lot of women choose to ignore the red flags and then get put through the wringer. Take your experiences and learn from them. As soon as your gut is telling you something is wrong, ditch the guy. Everyone has instincts, and they are  always right. But when you do get into that good relationship, do not blame what a horrible ex has done to you on a nice guy. That is awful when girls or guys do that. You need to try and get over it. Guys and Girls alike hate getting blamed for stuff that they did not do. Good luck!
147125
I know this is probably not the answer you are looking for, and I don't know your age... but you are probably still young.  Just take a break.  Normally if you keep getting together and breaking up over and over... well it's most likely not going to last anyways.  If you are young, remember you are going to have TONS of relationships.. and first thing is first... if you 2 have trust issues IT WILL NOT LAST.  You need to be with someone who you trust and who can trust you, the first sign of trust issues is when you need to back out.  You should have fun and not stay committed to just 1 person for a long time (if you are young)  Go have fun.. and you will know when that one guy comes along that he is for keeps!  I went through rough relationship after rough relationship.. and then one day I met my husband!  And I have been happy eversince.  But also remember, learn from these relationships you are currently in and going to encounter... they will help you in the future when it comes to finding your TRUE LOVE!
494439
Hello:\n\nI've never personally been invovled in a no-strings-attached relationship, but plenty of my friends have and I have been offered that sort of relationship.\n\nFirst off, I have always declined to enter that type of relationship. I know that I personally could not spend time with someone in an intimate setting and not become attached to them. I suppose it's possible for others, but it just isn't possible for me. I am not typically a jealous person, but I would be extremely bothered if someone that I was seeing was messing around with other girls. \n\nAbout friends who have been in that situation, nearly all ended up getting hurt. Once one of my friends who was in a relationship like that ended up dating the guy, but it was not really a NSA relationship. They both agreed they would date other people in an effort to not get to serious, however they both ended up not dating other people because they only had feelings for each other. And most of my friends have entered into relationships like this thinking that they can make the guy want to be exclusive with them, which never happens. \n\nEven if you had sex with this person, I would say that a NSA is a cop out for most guys. They get all the physical benefits of being in a relationship, without actually being in a relationship. Granted a girl also get's these benefits. I just have never been one to understand why someone would enter into a relationship like this.\n\nI hope this helps and good luck.
555747
i'm always amazed that some people can write the nasty stuff they do just because they know how to type! rather than giving violations for writing adult content, they should give violations for being rude and nasty...anyways...we're all afraid at some point we're going to be alone and even when in a relationship when we feel comfortable there is always a risk that it might not work out and we'll be alone again. what is it you're looking for in a relationship, what is it you are looking for in a guy? i think you need to find someone you can be friends with before anything else, that way you'll always have stuff to share. also what is it, you feel that you want that you haven't gotten yet that means you are still alone? feel free to email me if u want to talk more ;-)