when he goes he just doesn't know how to come back home, it's always some type of excuse for staying out w/ his friends. He claims to everyone that he loves me, but i wonder sometimes if he will ever give up the streets and come home. I don't think i cling to him because i'm in school and I work so i just want "our" time together, which he gives a couple times of the week and then he is gone doing whatever it is he wants to do. I feel neglected because he knows i love him and will not do the same to him. i guess i just get use to him being around and then get scared when he leaves not knowing when he is coming back. Is this wrong for me to feel that way?
209400
No it's not wrong for you to feel that way but it's wrong to put up with it. In a relationship if your needs are not being fullfilled then your relationship can't be a happy one. Some guys want to live by the way of the street and their friends and once your in a relationship you can't be that way. I'm not saying he needs to give up his friends but he does need to include you in with them. If you don't want to hang out with him and his friends, let him know how you feel. Let him know you feel neglected and if he dosen't do more to help build a healthy relationship with you then you need to move on. I'm sorry to say, some guys never grow up and some just need to know that you will leave if things don't change. If your feeling left out and lonely then your hurting inside and that isn't good on you or your relationship. Stand up to him, let him know you love him and you trust him but you need more attention and affection and he he refuses then find someone who can give you what you want out of life. What ever you do don't mess up your school or work over worring about him, it's not worth it. Good luck to you!
575908
why wld he not wanna go out wid you if he still has feelings for you? Unless he's bound by some other commitments like he's already married? or his job is too stressful to be in a relationship right now? Give both of you some time off to cool off and get back together again later! Hope this helps!! Cheer up soon!
675949
It sounds to me that you could be smothering him.  Give him some rope.  Meanwhile, you need some hobbies and girl friends to spend your time with.  That way, you can come back home and be lovey because both would have had other things to add to the relationship and conversations.  Do some things you may be interested in doing.  He should not be your only interest.  Please do not smother him.  Your happiness does not warrant itself based on his being around you all the time.  Thank GOD for the work week so that I can see other people without explaining where I've been all the time.  By you just being one tracked, you are digging yourself deeper in a depressive state of mind by making him your ONLY happiness.\n\nI hope that you can open your eyes to understand this.  I sincerely hope that I was the lightbulb to your saga.  Happiness begins with your self and definitely no one else should be able to control your emotions that they can't feel.
525166
mama honestly a long distance relationship he's out doing him while your miserable wondering what he's doing those often frequent breaks of no convo are the moments in your relationship where you should\nbe doing you and not worrying about him if he really loves you he'll come back home to you you just have to be there waiting with open arms .Don't stop living for you most of us females have a tendancy to be to loyal to our mate so we don't want to do any thing to them to make them not trust us we sometimes put ourselfs in a shell so we wont touch any temptations .Girl have fun do you do be a slave to his emails or calls you have a life to and you deserve happieness also let him have his cake and eat it  \ntoo and you wont even care because you are doing you it's that lonely feeling and feeling unapriecated that has you wondering why and what's wrong trust it's not you it's him he's not on your same level or same page so he doesn't think that he's doing anything wrong it's just what he used to doing cause females put up with it be the one to make the changes and instead of following take the lead Make him play your game
179512
You still seem to be focused on your own feelings. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it. Why are you bringing up hurt feelings. He has said that it is over and he forgives you. You seem  to be dwelling on it as if you feel that he didn't punish you enough. Sometimes you have to accept that everything will not get the necessary 'closure' that we all need. He might be the type of person who likes to work out their issues quietly within himself. He might be one of the types of men who heal better by just having time and thought. If he feels you are pushing him so you can have some kind of GUILT RELIEF and call it closure, he just might leave. You feel taken for granted but guilty about what you did. You want closure. You feel like he doesn't love YOU. You don't talk about it (You and he). You are willing to talk. You have changed.  He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't see the change. I would be tired of you if I was him your whole thing seems so self motivated and yet you are the one who messed up. It depends on what you did because if you cheated, honey he will never forget that and you will have to either stick in there until he is ready to completely forgive you or you can let him find someone who is more interested in the word WE and not HE and I.
193432
Well it sounds like he has already emotionally abandoned the relationship, so who is to blame you for phyiscally abandoning the relationship?  I think you should do it before he leaves, though.  His running away (literally!) is really just a passive-agrressive way of forcing you to make a decision and be the "bad guy" for leaving when he's gone.  What a wimp!  Demand closure now, before he goes so you can get on with your life and tie up any loose legal entanglements.  You don't want him running up huge debts on his world-wide jaunt that you will be paying off, either.  What a selfish bastard!
325960
I feel you. I think he could have try harder if he wanted to. I know the excuse "i forgot" or I was going to do it relax" and you didnt see shit done. If it is going to be like that I feel you should move out and take a break let him know you are not happy at all and you are under a lot of stress. What will he do without you. He needs to appreciate the things you do as a mother and wife. You need a man not another child you have to take care of. You must feel really lonely and yearning for a man.Take a break and try to relax, go out with friends and take a deep breathe.Try not to overthink yourself cause you will go crazy. I know you have bills to pay but figure out how to get out of this rotation with him cause after awhile it gets pretty tiring. I hope nothing but the best for you and take it one step at a time.
265480
I remember how I felt when I left my sweetheart.  I was only able to see her once a weekend.  She lived like 20 miles from where I lived and I had to take the bus every Saturday to see her.  Man, what great times.  But at day's end, my heart hurt something fierce.  Don't feel embarrassed.  You may be afraid to lose this great feeling you have.  You don't ever want it to go away.  This is your insecurities talking.  You need to know that you are everything he wants.  Gain confidence in you and your relationship.  You possess the power.
530905
Girl tell me about it, my bf of 2 years is here and DONT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE BUT KEEPS PRETENDING THAT HE DOES. And to top it off, he'd rather be with his family who treats him, me and my son fuck*ed up for no reason.  Hes leaving to go there.  He messed it up this year and last year...everytime I say he couldnt possibly make me feel any lower he finds a way to! I dont get it.
117705
Basically he was a gang member before he turned his life around. But the rules of the streets are that once a gang member also a gang member. Well I feel that he does love you and he loves you so much that he is willing to let you go, I believe that he feels that way because you never know when his past life will come back and haunt him, and if he is in a realtionship when that happens he not only hurts himself but he hurts the one he loves YOU. So my opinion is give him a little space and if it was meant to be than it will be no matter how many months or years go by. Best of luck to you.
392369
That a sorry state you're in my friend.  But to tell you the truth, if a man wants to go nothing will make him stay and if he wants to stay nothing will make him go.  I don't think there's much you can do.  try and move on with your life cause even if he were to come back to you he might break your heart again.  Give your self time, if you love him like you say  you wont forget him over night but maybe, just maybe with time you'll forget.  In  the mean time try and be more sociable.  Good luck, i know you'll need it.
271513
Hun, its a hard road to go down, But he and ONLY he can find the answers he is searching for, but if he is confused now  its best for you to leave and give him time to think things through, then if he finds himself then maybe you two can work on getting  back together, but you can be there for him Emotionally, but since he is fighting a hard battle with him self, he can only bring you down with him, tell him you have to go and tell him you love him but you cant live like this , when he is ready, and has found what he is looking for ,to call you if he is really in love with you and wants you in his life.
625020
you know am feeling really bad for you...i mean you love him so much but seems he doesnt values it...i know how painful all this is...whatever you have written here gives a hint that he doesnt loves you as much as you do & i think you are aware of this fact very well...thats the reason you are writting here...i would make no comments about your decision of going back to him was right or not because there is no point pondering over the past but you should be able to take a decision for your future...just tell me one thing, why do you want someone to be around even when you know he doesnt cares...you deserve a lot better than this jerk (am sorry to call him this but i think he really is)...i know its damn tough but i would suggest you move on & find a different meaning in life...how long can you keep on loving someone who doesnt loves you...am sure this might be affecting your confidence & self esteem as well...am sure you also want to get away from all this & start living life on your own...please gather all your courage & always remember that we shouldnt stay in something we are not sure of...concentrate on whats important in your life, your studies & all...& pray  & believe that god has made someone who'll love you the way you deserve & the way you'll love him...\nGod bless you...
42815
I have to really question how interested he is in you if he isn't willing to talk to you when ever he gets a chance.  When you love someone and your away from them, it doesn't matter how tired you are or what else is going on the one thing that usually you want to do is talk to the one you love.  He just doesn't sound like he cares and figures if your there when he gets back home then great and if not oh well...I would probably advise you to move on and if he gets back and is still interested in you then if you want you can see him.  For now you have a life to live.
434555
support and him and tell him taht you want to be with him and don't want to give up...tell him you'll be here every step of the way..encourage him to seek a therapist who can help him...maybe give him a few days but tell him you're not going to leave for good...
667642
He is getting to live his life, not only without parents but he has a whole new freedom he has never had before. I bet is he just has to get some things out of his system. I would let him go. Put things on hold to let you two live life apart for a while. From the sound of how strong you guys are everything will be fine. The saying, "Love is like a butterfly, let it go and if it is meant to be it will come back" is truer then ever in this senario. He is learning and seeing alot of new things and probably wondering if there is something else he should be doing with his life. He will experement with different things, realize nothing is better then what he has at home and come back. It is nothing agianst you, it's just someting people have to do sometimes. If he doesn't do it now, he may do it later and it could ruin your relatioship forever. My husband decieded to do it a couple of months AFTER we married, and if it weren't for me realizing what he was going through, I'd have left him. I almost did regardless. But I decieded to see if he had really come to the truth that it was me he wanted, he had and 5 yrs later, we're doing great. But it caused a lot of unnessary strain and stress on the realationship. If you really love him and want it to work, let him do what he needs and don't hold anything agianst him later. He'll come back. Good luck
11893
It sounds an awful lot like you're his backup.  Some people don't like to leave one lover until they have someone else waiting in the wings.  I personally do not much trust this type.  They leave me with the impression that their commitment to a relationship is transitory, and that when things get rough, as all relationships do from time to time, they start looking for the next one in line.