I turned him in now im taking care of one of my sisters, the other has disowned me and my mother hates me for distroying her family. I know i did the right thing.  How do i get over the loss and help my sister get through her depression?  Im very scared and alone right now..  my sister is 18 but she sufferd horrible neglect and is less amture than my 4yrs old daughter.  I need some  help.                              Im only 21
206764
well what you did was not easy  i too have done it but it want just your life that is suffering the life everyone thought they had is now turned up side down and the easiest way out is to blame you. I am so sorry this happen to you  but good for you that you  are not the victim anymore and your family will come around in time but the words we say be it what you say to them or what they say to you will remain as the biggest scar\nyou keep living your live with your head held high and dont think for a minute it was your fault. i would like to have contact information with you so i can discuss this farther i can really help .I will keep you in prayer and your family. i dont know if they will let me post it but it is JLSJSTEPHENS@YAHOO>COM
302180
I understand what you must be going thru beacuase I faced the same dilema few years ago. Mother is like a shelter, saving her child from all evils. She cares for you and prays for you.\n\nI suggest you should maintain a contact with her. Not physically or mentally but spritually. Do good for her. If she left a sister behind her, pay respect to her as if she is your mom. Feed the poor and hungry on behalf of your mother and rest assured she'd be very happy to receive these gifts from you.\n\nYou will feel comfortable that way and it would be easier to bear the pain.
598516
Oh my sis... Hugs to my sis in the Lord.  I can't imagine how tough it must be.  But girl our Lord is STRONG and He is walkin with you every step of the way... And he's with your family too...  Sometimes the Lord chooses to heal us so that Everyone can see such awesome Proof of His power.  But sometimes... we well endure much so that those around us can see how our Faith sustains.  Look at Joni Eareckson Tada She's been a quadrapoligic for what 30 years... and people can look at her and say Look at the joy she has look at the love she shares despite what she has to deal with everyday.   You can be a WITNESS to how God heals the SPIRIT.... Let Him use you to be a lamp Shining bright.  I don't know if I understand all you have to go through or what your family is going through.  Just make sure that you KNOW and your family Knows... that God is going to give you  Healing no matter what.  Either you'll be healed of this illness and beable to testify to it for years to come... or you'll testify of the peace the Lord gives beyond understand you and HEAL you completely and bring you home... Too many forget that death for a christian isn't God letting you down... it's God giving the Best and COMPLETE healing and being present with the Lord alone could give.  As much as it breaks our hearts when the Lord brings someone home we can rejoice for them.  I'm gonna post you a few scripture addresses so you can look them up...or this email will take you a month to read.  God bless you sister... even by just this... short note from you I can see the Holy Spirit in you and I know He will tell you what to do with your family.  I know he will comfort you and them and hold you all in comfort and peace.  You are in my prayers.   you lil sis in HIM  -- jen
255954
I went through some very similar things.  Ultimately I had to realize that my father was not very emotionally mature, and that he had a lot of personal defects of character.  You are not to blame.  The first thing that you need to do is care for yourself.  Living as an adult in a troubled family of origin is an express train to depression.  If at all possible, get out: go back to campus, get a part time job.  Enjoy your life.  But also, try to get some assistance; most colleges have well-developed counseling services.  Trust me; anybody living in your environment would be depressed.  You are responsible for one person: yourself.  Take care of yourself and other things will fall into place.   You don't have to go through this alone.  Hundreds of thousands of people live through similar experiences; try to find a support group.  You could check free or inexpensive community services, you could even try out 12 step groups.  Whatever you do, don't sit in the emotional booby trap of your father's house and float in the pain.  Get your body somewhere healthy and your mind and emotions will follow.  May God bless and protect you during this difficult time.
658578
i know how you feel. i have some problems with my family also... i was fourteen when my parents sent me out from china to belize. my mom had my little brother when i was ten, and i couldn't accept the fact right away, and she usually scold me for everything. \nat the point of time, since they are coming and visit you, you should just act normal, and once you have a chance you call up your sister to a place where you guys can speak alone, and you need to tell her how much you are sorry about the past, and your feeling towards your whole family, and that no one can change what had happened, not even god. you need to tell her that you love her and that you are sisters, no matter what you will always be her sister and that no one can change it. people live people dies, and that you are sorry that your dad died, but nobody would want that to happened. you were just simply in love with someone that the family didn't wanted to accept and tell her that life is short, if she will continuing mad at you, then you couldn't do nothing more better to let her forgive you. Just remember don't yell at her or cry...\n\nwell, good luck, is just a suggestion that i am giving...\n\ngood luck again.
161043
I am not sure that this will be of any help (i am only 13) but maybe if you knew what first caused her depression (a death? a divorce?) it could help her but trying to convince her that her children (or any one close to her) are sad because of her depression could make it worse because she will feel guilty.  This is only what I think and may not be true, but I hope it helps you and your family!
99720
Please know that you are in my morning prayers.  I know your pain over your losses seem unbearable, but remember that He is holding you up, and even when you don't feel Him, that is when He is closest!  It took someone else's pain to remind of that this morning and I hope and pray as you grieve your loss that you can keep that thought in your mind.  It was explained to me that we have at least forty thousand thoughts a day, and that if you can keep those thoughts positive, your body and emotion will respond.  What a man thinks in his heart, so is he, right?\n\nMay God help you thru this time, may you keep your eyes toward heaven, may God use your grandchild to bless you for years to come, and may He help you raise her in grace and gratefulness for the opportunity to serve your daughter's memory.  Father, please enable a good report from the Drs to encourage this sister in the Lord thru her trials.  May she see many blessings thru her call for prayer, strentgthen her faith and trust in You as she walks the same path we all must take for your names sake. Amen.
195479
I can't give you advice on what to do with your mother, but what I can do is tell you that to loose a child is the most horrific thing a mother will ever have to go through. It rips your soul apart from the inside out. It has taken me two and a half years to start putting the pieces back together and be normal again. It is a long healing process, that is different for everyone. I do feel sorry for your situation. I don't know all of the dynamics and I'm sure you have your own grief over your brothers untimely death. But just try to picture how you would feel if you were to loose your child. It does sound like you care and are just not knowing what to do, so talk it over with other family and let them be involved also. The loss of a child though messes anyone up!!!!! I've seen alot of people go through this since loosing my daughter. Hang in there and give your baby a big hug, I'll keep you in my prayers.
344587
First of all, I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. I know it feels like the whole world just got up and walked out of your life, doesn't it? It hasn't, just a part of it has, one that meant a great deal to you. Do you have anyone at this time that you can talk with on a regular basis? If not, then get one. It will help you grieve for your loss and be able to accept it and move on. A support group is absolutely your best option for now. Not only are you hurting inside but there are others there that are hurting just like you, as well. There are others at group therapy that know what your're going through and know of ways to offer support and help for you too.\nPlease go and seek out a support group in your area. You don't know how therapeutic talk therapy can be until you have gone to one of these meetings. It's free, and not only will you shed tears but others will be right there with you to help you and they too will shed tears. I am sure your friend would want you to move on and take care of yourself. You are also having I'm sure what is called situational depression and might need the help of a pyschiatrist right now. Call your doctor if you feel like your suicidal or if you feel like your gonna hurt yourself in anyway then call 911 and get help please. I wanna hear back from you to know your okay and gonna be alright. Think of all the good memories you had with this special person. I believe in the spirit world and I think those that have left before us are still with us just in a different way.\nTake care of you, and the best of luck to you my friend.
63842
Ah, dear sweet mother that you are, don't you know that as much as you love your daughter, that God loves her all that much and more?  He will grant her peace.  He will show her how much you love her, and help her to understand if there was any unresolved issues between the 2 of you, and come to a certain peace about it.  \n\nYou say she was bipolar.  If this ever caused her to do things that were questionable, I think God would not ever hold those things against her.  Please do not worry over her salvation or anything like that.  God is not so cruel.  Would you ever send your daughter to a place of torment?  Of course not!  And God will not either!  That is pure and simple.\n\nLosing a daughter is the hardest loss that anyone on earth probably ever has to face.  I cannot even comprehend it.  You are feeling totally natural things.  Do not feel guilty for the way you feel.  I wish I could give you some kind of magic words that would ease your suffering.  But I do not know them.  Please know that even now, I am crying for you.  Tears are blurring my vision now!  I feel so sad for you.  And I do not even know you.  But I can tell you are hurting, and that you truly truly were a good mother, even if you are unsure of it right now.  I will pray for you.  Do not feel ashamed to seek counseling in this situation.  No one could be prepared for the loss you've endured.  I bet some counselling may help.\nAnd I'll pray for you.\n\nGod bless you and give you peace.
69002
wHY should life be this horrible....I was mugged and almost assaulted and I was with my sister,that experience lives with us till today.There is nothing you can say,all I wanted was to see my Mom and just run into her arms and just not be anywhere ese.She just took me into her arms and kissed me on my forhead,and held me for a while like she used to do when I was a baby.It felt so good and so cleansing.She gave us (me and my sister)time to just let it sink in,but we also kne she will always be there for us when we were ready to talk about it.And she was and all she did was listen.\n\nNobody deserves to be in that situation and I hope your daughter recovers from the trauma
282814
I was sexually molested by my step father and he talked me into doing things with my sister so I know how she feels.  I had a hard time too but i now see a therapist from the state Child Advocacy Center.  she needs to do that because it has helped me a lot.  Good luck
313449
Please seek some professional help or help from your church.  My good friend did the same thing when her dad died suddenly.  It's been 10 years and I swear she is stuck in a grieving time warp.  She still cries about it today like she did 10 years ago.  She never sought any kind of help or even medication.  You really need someone who can guide you through the grieving process.
278378
I know it hurts real bad...I know this from experience. I caught my brother with my g/f after he lost his job, and place to live so I moved him in with us..BAD MISTAKE!!! I left her at that moment when I caught them without turning and looking back...I just said we are through got my stuff and left...My brother ran after me and I told him to "go F*** off you made my bed now lay in it all you want" Two weeks later I went back to my house with a Sheriff and handed them both a piece of paper saying that the court has ordered them to vacate the premises. that following weekend I had a yard sale and sold all my brothers stuff and hers and they couldn't do anything because they had no reciepts so I said everything was mine. 7 years later they are happily living in a homeless shelter with 2 kids and I haven't spoken to either of them since the day they tried to get me for selling their *oopps* MY STUFF..lol...Just don't threaten or say anything you will regret as a person...You don't have to go to their level....You will be in my prayers and turn to friends they will help out alot...
156993
My dad suffered from depression for about 7-8 months. and i know its hard to see them like this. but there is really nothing you can do. you can give them incouragement but over all they have to be the one to get out of it. just try and keep strong yourself because it can make you feel pretty low seeing you family member like that. your bro and your family are in my prayers\nGod bless
471346
Your poor thing! You have my deepest sympathy. It must feel like the end of the world for you. \n\nDo not despair. Have you contacted the Police at all? They should have a missing persons unit or a unit which deals with vulnerable missing people. I know from what you say that you have an idea where she is living but she is still a vulnerable person as it seems she is very impressionable. The Police may well be aware of the situation at this address and can therefore react quickly. \n\nAlternatively, what about local Social Services? I appreciate that you may not want to get them involved but desperate times call for desperate measures. They should have a runaway co-ordinator who can help you. \n\nAnother organisation that is really good at providing support and advice is Connexions. It is an organisation that the Police, Social or your daughter's school can put you in touch with. They have all sorts of help available for both young people aged 12-18 and their family from counselling, drug advice, literacy, careers advice, housing, anti-bullying, etc. It really would be worth speaking to these people once your daughter returns to see how they can help her. \n\nAll the very best of luck to you. xxxx
520941
im very sorry about losing your father and it takes time to get over losing someone that you love.i know your mother is dear to you and she is very sick and you have to be strong for her.your a young child and things just arent going your way and im very concerned about your situation.why dont you ask GOD for help?HE is stronger than any storm in your life and HE does hear our cries for help.HE knows your hurting from these things in your life that have caused heartache. i also have lost my entire family and its tough on a grown man and it twice as bad for a young person.i will pray for your mom and for you. i do know if you put your faith and trust in GOD everything will work out just trust HIM completely.GOD bless you dear one and know i am sincere about your life.