I've was with my ex-boyfriend for a year and two months now.i fell in lov with him three months after we started going out,but about seven months after we started going out, the relationship got abusive.i found out that he was selling drugs and he quit going to school i wanted to help him.He stopped selling drugs for a while and the i found out that started again so i wanted to break up wit him.he beged me and when i told him no he would get mad and hit me.Anyways i gave him a chance and he completely stop selling drugs now but the other day on Monday we had an argument and i broke up wit him and he got mad again then he came to my house and he physically abused me again.This is about the 5th time he put his hands on me and evrytime i go back out wit him.This time i make up my mind not to go back out wit him,but the problem is dat i stil lov him.I don no if it is cause i am stupid or something is wrong wit me.I need to get over him.i need advice or tell me what you think i should do...
200970
ask you self do you like being abused you know what you need to do so quit trying to sugar coat it and get rid of the bum before he seriously hurt you love does not hurt and if he did love you he would never try to harm you mentally or physically.
510058
Hey girl !!!! what are u still interested in a guy who tries to abuse u ???? U know abusing someone is called domestic violence. if i were u i would tell someone and slap him right in the face ..... but i advice u to not to do that as this could result to rape or anything and tell someone about it . Second thing is tell him that u cant keep ur relationship becoz its just not working out and tell him this in a public place and dont humiliate. Also, dont try to get back together becoz if people who are abusers can do anything. If he has done it once he can do it again and next time he will break ur hand.So, the conclusion is leave him because he is a mooron and a abuser. what kind of guy is he ? abusing a girl!!! if he goes further tell ur mum and dad and contact the police. and plzz dont be scared its ur life and u should live it without fear. Personally, i advice u to learn karate as well... just incase
64582
You broke it off 6 months ago.  You did the right thing.  Here's the deal - it's one thing if it were the other way around.  You should be asking why if he dumped you.  Since you dumped him, it's the other way around.  You left him on your terms, he still has things unresolved.  Don't waste your time trying, you might hurt yourself.
255829
this sounds like there are a lot of emotional issues that need to be looked into. I think you better have a straight forward talk with your friend, you are right, no one should be abused in a relationship, but it sounds like he has issues if its been two years , he has someone nice and he still stays with this other one. who pays the rent? is he a kept man? alot of questions to be answered.
91362
The Best thing to do is STOP DOING DRUGS! You sound like a really nice girl...but drugs can ruin you, and your relationships. You just experienced that. If you hope to have a future that you will LOVE, then STOP DOING DRUGS! I would never date a guy that did drugs because I would worry about him constantly and what he is doing when I'm not there. That is probably how 'Greg' feels, and that can ruin his future as well as yours. I really do feel for you because I know people who do drugs, and they really changed, NOT for the good. If you REALLY want him back, you need to tell him that you will stop...but you have to MEAN it as well. Let him help you through this, he would be more than pleased. He still loves YOU...not your druggy self. I hope im not sounding like your mother or anything...beacuse I really do want you to get him back...for you and him.\nMy heart goes out to you!\nGood Luck with EVERYTHING!
605200
OK let's think about this... a man you were with for six years left you because you were in school trying to educate yourself and have a better future. Instead of supporting you while you were in school he chose to forget all about the six years you were together and get with someone who got him off more often. You mentioned before that you are a Christian so I am assuming you know what the Bible says about adultery and sinful lust so we won't get into that. But I think you're a smart girl so just ask yourself... do you really want to settle down with someone who compares his women to illegal drugs? Women are queens and should ALWAYS be treated as such. You need a King beside you... not someone like the man you described. If he is not willing to stay by you through school how would he handle you having a job, or children, or other things that require your attention. This guy does not even seem worth a second thought. Don't sell yourself short. And I know it sounds cliche but if he did it before, he'll do it again. He didn't make a mistake... he knew what he was doing and he thinks he can just keep you dangling but you're worth so much more than any lie he could ever tell you. It's good to forgive but you don't need someone like that holding you back.
295107
I was in this exact same position a few months ago. \n\nI hadnt known him that long, however. \nI was thinking the same thing when I first got with him. \nWell, now it is definitely worth it to me. I am engaged. \n\nHeres my advice. \nIf you honestly feel that he is going to change (I dont know what his crimes were.) than I woudl say give him the chance. My fiances crimes were violent and drug related and I still gave him that chance (completely unaware of what could have happened.)\nMy best advice is if you do give it a shot (which I hope you will because evryone deserves that second chance.) \nBE PREPARED! \nThere may be a few slip-ups. (for example: if his crimes were drug related, expect maybe drinking or maybe pot somking.)\nBe patient and set yourself a limit and stick to it. \nDont ever let his betraying behavior get in the way and make rules before you start into a relationship. \n(no drinking, smoking, doing drugs...whatever.) \nThis way you have the law laid down and you and he both know where the relationship will end. \n\nIf its important to you, it should be important to him as well. \n\n\nGOOD LUCK SWEETIE!
673399
SERIOUSLY, GET HELP NOW AND GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN. THIS IS CALLED ABUSE, AND HE IS OBVIOUSLY AN ABUSER. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS. YOU'RE WORTH MORE THAN THAT. GET OUT, GET HELP, GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. I BEEN THERE DONE THAT, AND I SPENT SIX YEARS WITH AN ABUSER. AT FIRST IT IS ONLY WORDS. THEN IT'S SLAPS, AND THEN BEATINGS. IF YOU STAY, YOU WILL END UP SERIOUSLY HURT OR DEAD. THERE IS LIFE OUTSIDE OF HIM, & YOU SHOULD GET TO IT. I KNOW IT SOUNDS LAME, BUT GET COUNSELING IMMEDIATELY. FRIENDS, FAMILY, WHOEVER. I LOST SIX YEARS OF MY LIFE TO A LOSER. HE HAD ME TOTALLY CONVINCED THAT NO ONE ELSE WOULD EVER WANT ME AND I DESERVED EVERYTHING THAT I GOT. I HAD NO SELF ESTEEM AND NO SELF RESPECT. I LOST ALL MY FRIENDS AND MOST OF MY FAMILY BECAUSE OF THAT LOSER. THE ONLY THING THAT OPENED MY EYES AND SAVED MY LIFE WAS GETTING PREGNANT, AND REALIZING THAT I DID NOT WANT MY CHILD TO LIVE WITH HIM TELLING HER THAT SHE WASNT GOOD ENOUGH, & HIM BEATING ON HER & EVENTUALLY LOSING MINE OR HER OR BOTH OF OUR LIVES  BECAUSE HE JUST WENT "A LITTLE TOO FAR" WITH THE BEATINGS ONE DAY. PLEASE TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU CAN. THERE IS NO REASON ON EARTH FOR YOU TO HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THAT. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GET HELP & GET OUT. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN HELP YOURSELF, AND IN THE LONG RUN, IT WILL BE WELL WORTH IT. DON'T BE STUPID & WAIT LIKE I DID.
52177
been there .done that.your ex has a major problem in that he truly thinks he's all that and he WANTS girls fighting over him.it makes his pin head bigger sothe next time he comes on to you you grab him by the throat and tell him that you are NOT going to play his game.if he wants to be with you he's gonna have to ditch your friend and prove to you he's done so before you'll have anything to do with him.THEN GO TELL YOUR FRIEND what's been going on so she can keep an eye on him.let her know that you're not trying to start problems but she needs to be made aware and tell her you think he's doing it just to have you two fighting over him.She probably will get mad at you they always do.But here's what I did when my ex started playing that game.His girlfriend kept calling and threatening me so i finally got tired of it and told her he was chasing me and if she did'nt believe that i could and would prove it to her.the next time he came by my place banging on the door begging to talk to me,i called her,made sure she answered and told her to listen an then i let him in.we had a nice chat with him telling me how he did'nt want to be with her,how stupid she was and evan how bad she was in bed.he told me how no-one could make him feel like i did and he missed me and loved me and would do absolutely ANYTHING to prove it.So i picked up the phone and told him to tell her it was over and he balked.when i told him to take the phone it was for him he literally turned white.she heard every word he'd said and he knew it.after another month of her chasing him everywhere begging for his attention we did get back together for a short time before someone else turned his head and he tried playing the same game.i sent him on his way with my blessing and told him i was better off without him.i refused to play.his new woman stole his paychecks and spent all his money on drugs and alcohol that HER other boyfriends helped her consume.when he tried to force her to work on being with just him she cut up all his clothes,destroyed his furniture and trashed their apartment and he had to pay the damages,and when he came crawling to me for comfort i laughed at him.it took a long time but there was a happy ending for us we've been together the last 10 yrs and i can't get the man to so much as go out for a beer without me.It's called TOUGH LOVE honey.If you're gonna be with an asshole you have to learn to be a bigger and better asshole than he is.DO NOT LET HIM FORCE YOU TO STOOP TO HIS LEVEL.no matter what!!!!!don't get mad in front of another woman he's with ever.act like it don't bother you they're hanging all over one another.if a comment is made to you by either of them ignore it or tell the offender that they deserve each other because theiy'reboth beneath you and go on your merry way.it'll make them both nuts!try if you can to never be anywhere they are by yourself because you'll need witnesses when he tries to pull you into a dark corner to talk.and i promise you that he will but you just have to tell him firmly that you have no time to talk to a man who has a woman waiting for him and he'd best be getting back to her side.hopefully,you'll find yourself a great guy who'll make you want to forget this one while you're playing "who gives a s***.Always keep your dignity.that's one of the few things that NO-ONE can take unless you give it.if you get mad in front of him or her he'll think you want to be his door-mat.good luck.
455247
If you love each other, then, um DUH! Yes, take him back. Maybe he really did need to "get himself together" and now he feels ready to have a relationship. There's nothing wrong with that if it's true. I think it's great if he wanted to work on himself so things don't get messed up anymore between the two of you. He worked, he's ready - go for it.\n\nWould you cut off your nose just to spite your face? (Translation: Would you give up love just to make your ex pay?)
189636
you need to sit back down with daddy and let him know that although you may have put yourself in the relationship.. no one has the right to hit another. people always have the option to walk away.  tell daddy that even he has made mistakes in his life.. so it is unfair to judge you so harshly.  now you have to be more careful in choosing someone.. and you also have to make sure the ex.. is not around watching you.  you must stay safe. most importantly.. it is not your fault. now if you seek out the same type of man..again.. then i might blame you.  smile. look for the warning signs.. a man who wants to separate you from your family and friends.. a man who wants total control.. a man who is too  good to be true.  a man who calls you constantly and is jealous over everyone you come in contact with. a man who wants to question everything you have done in life. and remember there is mental .. physical and verbal abuse.  do not take it from anyone.  good luck
344416
You tell him that you are aware of his addiction problem, and offer to get him help. You can only help somebody that wants to accept your help. Your relationship with him will always come in second to his addiction with his drug of choice. You need to move on and leave this realtionship in the past. You may always love this guy, but not all love relationships are meant to last a lifetime. This is not a good healthy relationship for you. Cry a little and then pick yourself up, gather your self-esteem and move on and find happiness elsewhere. Take care of you. I wish your boyfriend luck, he'll need it! He has a long road ahead of him, before he will ever be ready to share his life with someone else.
481725
I'm very sorry to say this, but if he won't stop, as much as it may hurt, its time to let him go.  Verbal abuse is ABUSE.  And sometimes worse than physical.  If he won't stop now, your relationship will continue to always be like that.  There are guys out there that don't verbal abuse.  You have to decide now that you are worth him not verbally abusing you and if he doesn't like the way you act, then he really doesn't like  you.  Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness, and respect.  Don't you agree.
596329
You have started to regain your life back. Meth will eventually bring anyone down to a living hell. I am proud you are strong enough to Put it behind you. But I am sorry to hear your boyfriend has not. the only way for you to survive is to let him be  part of that pass also. I know its hard, but thats the path  for you to move forward. Memories of a fun time is what you have, keep it, but that time has long pass. So keep moving in the right direction, don't look back.
581776
You should leave him while your a head....its a lot easier to get over a short term relationship (especially if you guys have already broken up twice) then it is to get over a relationship you have been in for years......to me it sounds like he is with you until his ex wants him and when she's done with him he comes running back to you......you deserve better than that and if you keep taking him back he's going to keep thinking he can get away with it.....you shouldn't want to be with someone who isn't sure of his feelings for his ex......you don't want a guy who has baggage and that's what his ex is.....shes going to keep popping into the picture until you tell him to go away for good.......you don't need a jerk like that, plus remember....its only been 6 months.....that's not long enough to keep braking up and getting back together.......some people go through that, but that's over years....not months.
300357
Honey, I know what you're saying. My ex does the same to me. One day, he's the best thing you could ask for, the next he's unbearably mean. On a good day, I accept that we've had a good day. On the bad, I hope the next will be better. Don't call him for a few days and see the change in his attitude. He's gonna treat you like dirt as long as he knows you're waiting for him.
532727
Remember, people are ALWAYS communicating with you, even if it is non-verbal.  Right now he's saying that the pain of confrontation and admitting his bad behavior is more painful than trying to repair your relationship.  You have offered to try to repair it through your attempts to contact him.  Now it's time to let it go.  Big talker, right?  I didn't say it was going to be easy, or pain-free, it just has to be done for your own sake.  And believe me, you don't want to feel like you don't give a damn, that would be denying your feelings, your trust in your relationship, and your broken heart.  I'm going to tell you to do something that is going to sound dorky, but I really want you to try it (what do you have to lose?)  Write him a letter.  Say everything you want to say about how you feel, how hurt you are, how angry you are, call him names.  End the letter by saying goodbye and saying how much you will miss the relationship you had.  You will never send this letter.  After you've written it, read it once, then rip it up and throw it away.  I promise you this will help.  You will still hurt, but please do this and you will feel better.  You need closure, and since he's not giving it to you, give it to yourself.  Let me know how it goes.