there was a cat that loved to jump out wimdows that where 3 feet off the ground the owner tryed to stop him but nothing worked! one day the owner did something the the cat had nothing to do but stop.what did the owner do?\n\nhint:\nshe didn`t put anything.
208772
she closed the window
499237
Sad to say ...and I know you really don't want to hear this but she may have have been picked up by someone walking around or picked up by the Animal Control. I hope you find her soon because as a cat owner my cat's are very precious to me as well and it also scares me to death  when my one cat sneaks out. My heart goes out to you.
473794
I almost gave birth too a litter of kittens when I read this.\n\nWay WAY too funny. Thanks.\n\nIt has ***got*** too be grand too have your wife write out a script in whitch you get too beat the ever loven dog cr4p out of your father in law so very often. I would ***dearly*** love too go too the McMahon residence for Thanksgiving dinner one year.\n\n"Yeah, but did you have too hit me so ***hard*** with that chair shot?"\n\n"Look. It was in the script! What could I do?"\n\n"Yeah Daddy! And your peas are gonna get cold!"\n\nThanx for that.
25743
Part of the question is missing.  The question is supposed to read as follows:\n\nA cat is at the bottom of an 18-foot well.  Each day it climbs up three feet; each night it slides back two feet.  How long will it take the cat to climb out of the well?\n\nThe way this question is supposed to trick you is, many people would figure that the net gain per day is just one foot, so they would say it will take 18 days.\n\nActually, at the end of the 15th day and night, the cat will have climbed up 15 feet from the bottom of the well, so it will be just three feet from the top of the well.  So on the 16th day, the cat will climb up three feet, and be out of the well.\n\nAnswer: 16 days.
133807
the cat's name was "what"
372350
great one........never heard it before.......I could not stop laughing.\n........waiting for such good jokes.......keep posting........hahahahaha.\n\nthanks for the days best laugh.......
234671
Smoke and mirrors. So long as "they" keep "us" occupied with whatever they want CNN to broadcast so as to keep the populace away from things that really matter (like what clean air we're gonna breath 50 years from now, or what clean water we're gonna drink 50 years from now) its going to be the way it is. People need to think for themselves and FORCE issues. Its the only way things will change. But, some have sense and see through the smoke and past the mirrors. Hopefully enough do. But, hey, speaking of such perhaps you can answer a question of mine? I live with a cat. Cat and I often talk about things. Lately I've tried to get cat's views on George W. But whenever I ask cat this he just turns, goes to his litter box, and spends the next 15 minutes covering up poop. What gives, man? Why won't cat TALK to me about this???
648804
Well, let's see here. Umm, this sounds alot like a "black cat crossing paths" thing. Best thing to do is just let it go, because it's more than likely not real.
592008
electirc train can't blow smoke\nDes-my name\n\nQuestion: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?\nAnswer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. \n\n"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked, \n\n"Where did you get that?"\nThe pig replied, \n"I won her in a raffle!"\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.\n\nThinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.\n\nShe showed him the instructions on the tin, \n\n"For best results, put on two coats".\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.\nFirst Blonde: \n\n"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!\nSecond Blonde: \nWell you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.\n\n\nThe first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, \n\n"I think they could be bird tracks."\n\nThe second blonde went to look and said, \n\n"No, I think these are deer tracks."\n\nThey stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,\n\n\n"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, \n\n"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.\n\nSure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, \n\n"I can't take this, you're my friend."\nBut the blonde insisted saying, \n"No. A bet's a bet."\n\nThen the redhead said \n\n"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."\n\nThe blonde replied \n\n"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"\n\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.\n\nWhen she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in
670194
My dear sir, you have invented the first antigravity aerofoil cat in history. It will never land because 'cats always fall on their feet' so it cannot land on it's side, bottom, head or back. Likewise the toast will resist falling butter side up and since it is glued to the cat's feet (with the butter towards the cat) it will keep the whole shenanigans up in the air.\n\nBut I do spot a flaw. While this pair are floating round the earth seemingly for ever, the cat, stricken by pangs of hunger, will lick the toast clean of butter.  In this confabularium of toast and cat, the toast will now have no butter side. As is well-known, toast with no butter will fall any which way (and usually down behind the fridge or in a handy cup of tea), so the cat-a-toast will come to earth as the last bit of butter disappears into the cat's maw.\n\nAt this point another immutable rule comes into play. This states that if you butter a cat's paws, she will lick the butter off them and will from then on always come home. By deduction it has to be said that it is not until the butter is inside the cat that this reaction takes place, so it matters not that the butter did not actually come from the paw, but adjacent thereto.\n\nIf I were you, mate, I would look behind the fridge to see what the strange noise is.
144466
Tonight, I was out with my 10 yr old and I was spraying some water on our plants. A toad came "running" out of his bush cover to sit in the spray. He was really liking it.  After a couple of minutes laughing at him, a spider crossed the walk about 4 ft away. That toad went on a beeline charge up to the spider. They sat about 4 inches apart - neither one so much as twitching. We froze and watched.  After 2 minutes, the toad pounced in! He tongue-flicked that spider and had a good meal.\nIt was a great moment to share and very educational for him. It cemented some of the things we have spoken about in the past about nature being brutal, but efficient and basically well-planned.\nGo forth and critter. \n\nIf the neighbors think you are "different" - then Thank GOODNESS. Because you are!
266301
wow you are one confusing person. That's odd. I feel sorry for the cat.
323110
Awwwwwwwww! *Hugs* It wasn't your fault honey! It isn't against the law to accidentally hit an animal, so you don't have to worry about that at all. The cat ran in front of you and there wasn't anything that you could do to stop it from happening. The owner of the cat was irresponsible for letting the cat run around outside. An accident like that is the risk a pet owner takes when they let their pets run loose. Please don't worry about what happened. I know it is hard, but try not to dwell on what happened and please don't blame yourself.\n\nS.S.
192976
If the agreements were as you describe, the cat is yours, and if you all went to court, you should eventually get the cat back. The legal problem isn't that the agreements were all verbal, its that it may be hard to prove what was said.  \n\nHowever, going to court is not easy or cheap, and it isn't always easy to enforce the court's judgment.  I can't tell from your question how long you were with the cat, or how long you were gone.  If you think the cat may have grown attached to the new person, I'd recommend letting the cat be, and, hard as it is, getting a new cat.
668040
Noah said, "Now I have HERD everything."  Do you know what animal Noah couldn't trust?  The cheetah. And what kind of lights did he use on the Ark?  Flood lights. And why couldn't anyone play cards on the Ark?  Because Noah was sitting on the deck!
200955
You and your best freind go to heaven. At the gates you are told to walk across a field but not to step on any ducks. Your friend starts to cross, but steps on a duck. She (I'm assuming it's a she) is hancuffed to un ugly guy. You cross without stepping on a duck and are handcuffed to A hot guy.\nYou say, "This must be my reward for not stepping on any ducks."\nThen the guy says, "No. I stepped on a duck."\nLOL!!!!!!!!!
338047
Sweet. \n\nCan you give me detailed instructions on the envoronment and conditions the cat was in? I've been looking for a cool way to kill my cat for years and this sounds like just the ticket.