One of my friends is with this guy who is very manipulative, deceitful, coniving, womanizer, cheats constantly, (i could go on, but i think you get the picture). They have been together for almost 2 1/2 years. In this time, he has cheated on her, lied, brainwashed her and everyone else that he is a great guy. She has confronted him many times about things,(when she knows for a fact), but he denies everything, telling her she is causing trouble and that he does nothing wrong, and gets very defensive, then starts basically manipulating her into thinking that she is the one that is in the wrong, and that he didn't do anything to deserve this, and ends up saying sorry to the jerk!!\n\nhe says anything to make himself look good, he puts her down, he always has to be the centre of attention!!..I cant stand him, I keep telling her to get rid of him, she says she will, but he has brainwashed her into thinking that he is the best thing that happened to her, and cant do any better...
213933
just don't mind about him. he's just a waste of time to think about. tell your friend she's better off without him, believe me, i had the same type of boyfriend, i was so miserable before we broke up... I just then realized that I was better off without him. I'm happily single... :)
657894
I went through this type of situation myself a few years back. I had a friend that smoked pot, slept around, neglected her family, blew money, got drunk all the time, that sort of thing. I couldnt see that she was not good for me and when I finally did and cut things out with her things got so good with my husband and me. A few years back she came back into my life and once again I started hanging out with her again. My husband and I started having problems around the same time. The only advice I can give you is to do what my husband did. He would caution me about her influence but allow me to make my own decisions. Eventually I got the big picture and left well enough alone. I began seeing the destructive behavior that she exhibitted and the behavior that tolerated out of her. People like that always do the same thing. They eventually screw up really bad that the other person has no choice but see what they are really all about. Be there for your girl, caution her but trust her to make the right choices. If you try to force your views and beliefs on her she will only reject you and become bitter with you. By giving her room and allowing her to discover the triths on her own it will be a lesson learned for her in the end. If she stops hanging out with this person then she will always blame you for losing a friend. If the situation is too much for you to handle then you need to decide if this relationship is worth saving. If so allow time to take its course. If not then you need to explain to her that you cannot stand by and watch her destructive behavior any longer. That you only want the best for her and if she cannot see that this friendship will only end up hurting her you cannot stanf by and watch. That you love her to much to watch her do that to herself.  \n\nYou cannot force this on her she will only pull away from you and pull closer to the friend. Remember: The father you push the harder she holds on.
134203
I hear you. We have just been discussing this, but its crazy cause you dont want to be the bearer of bad news, but then again what kind of friend would just allow their friend to be hurt (no matter how). You say this guy is your friend, well, your a man, lift your chest up and confront him. If he doesn't come clean to his wife, you could always give him the ultimatum  that if he doesn't you will.  It will hurt her, yes it will whoever tells her, but truth hurts sometimes...\n\nIt is also very true that other people's love life, you most stay, way out of. So, I cant tell you what to decide...\nbest wishes
68850
Well I'm sorry to say this but she shouldn't have trusted him this much. I know she was so crazy for him because he was her firest bf even though she had never met him in person. You are her real friend and I think it's true that she never had any bf before, but what about him? He could have just lied to her about whatever he said. Maybe she wasn't this guy's first gf. Maybe he was playing around with her online after all just for fun. Then she started to get serious, which probably made him upset, so he just changed his phone # and everything to get rid of her. \nI'm so sorry to say this but there's nothing you guys can do. He doesn't love her as she does. It's just gonna annoy him if you try hard to find his new phone # and contact him to tell how much she loves him and wants him back. \nSorry...but I believe she learned something from this experience.
516379
I just got over a relationship where my best friend (who was also his x girlfriend) and him kept staying friends. I didnt really let him know how much it bothered me, but now that i look back, it totally bothered me... and now that were not together, im so glad its over because that issue was so annoying, not worth dealing with. Tell him to loose her and if he can't, drop him!
614041
no you told him if you keep trying it will turn him off from you just let him make his own decisons because obviously he knows she cheated so he just leave it beanyway but he doesnt want to he will have to learn the hard way it takes that for some of us but he is only hurting his self. It will never trust her again anyway.
255829
this sounds like there are a lot of emotional issues that need to be looked into. I think you better have a straight forward talk with your friend, you are right, no one should be abused in a relationship, but it sounds like he has issues if its been two years , he has someone nice and he still stays with this other one. who pays the rent? is he a kept man? alot of questions to be answered.
419277
when your trust is betrayed it take a lot of work on your behalf.trust is something that is earned.I had to keep reassuring him that he was the only one for me.I also told him that I wasn't that way and showed him.I really hated going out with him at first be cause he would accuse me of looking at other guys,so I would tell him I was with him and only him and that they couldn't touch this. I'm his and only his.tell her that he was the biggest idiot and how stupid he was to give up such a wonderful girl and that your glad he did because now she has a good man.that will never do that to her & dont ever do it.if it doesent work out be honest.it will takes time and is a lot of work but if she is worth it, work with her you can earn her trust. good luck
532969
you know what those girls may not think they are doing what she is doing. is it a problem like he's too controling? and maybe she is putting up with it so he doesnt get mad because thats not a healthy relationship but if its just her i think you could make a mention to her whether she gets mad or not she needs to know? some people get blinded when they like someone that they dont realize what they are doing! we've all been there done that!
153914
There's a whole world out there, you and your friend don't need the trouble this guy could/will cause.  His behavior is truer than his words.  Treat yourself better than that and get a new boyfriend who is really sincere.
646707
Hi Tiera,   well it sounds like this guy is a real jerk. Not trying to be mean or anything just going by everything you said.  Now, as far as your friend goes I believe that you should stick to your guns and be there for her.  If you havent done so already,  I think you should tell her all about this guy and just prepare her for what you might think will happen. Don't try to make her break up with him per say,  but just let her know that you are telling her these things because she is your friend and you dont want to see her hurt.  Thats really all you can do at this point.  Sometimes in life in order for someone realize what they get themselves into they have to learn the hard way.  The only thing you can do is just assure her that you will be there for her no matter what.  She will appreciate you more down the road when she realizes she was wrong and you were right.  Stick to you guns hun, and dont abandon your friend because this is when she is gonna need you the most.  Good luck with everything...........
149294
The "he's a liar" chick above me is an idiot. SHE'S not too judgemental, huh? Hehe. Of course everyone in jail is the DEVIL! (I'm being sarcastic). \n\nJail makes you think about things that you would normally take for granted: ie; your freedom, your hobbies, the people you love, and so on. I have a feeling he's never wanted to admit he loves you, because that usually overcomplicates things to an unnecessary extent. But now that he's incarcerated, he's had time to understand what life is like without you, and time to reflect on how important your relationship really is. As a result, he's finally come to the conclusion that he does love you, and he wants you to know it in case you two should ever be permanentley separated for some god-forsaken reason. I've been in his shoes before.\n\nOh yeah, and the guy who said "look to see if his pupils expand" is also on his own planet. Where the hell did THAT come from? Look, if his pupils expand, he's on acid. If they don't, he's not. And that's that.
423985
Some people can be extremely convincing and have mastered the art of the mind game. However, these people are relatively easy to beat if you do your homework. What you need to do is make this woman come forward with some proof of this cheating and if she can't do it, then she has nothing to go by. Also, if your boyfriend is willing to accept the story from this woman and has completely disregarded what you've said, then either he's been likewise brainwashed by this woman or has some trust issues with you. Rumors are rumors and are always started by someone with interests...perhaps this woman is after YOUR boyfriend!
278711
The problem isn't this other woman, the problem is your boyfriend.  A guy can only be manipulated by a woman if that is what he really wants.  If your boyfriend really loved you then he would end all contact with this other girl.  I think he is using her the same way you think she is using him.  Maybe they both deserve each other because you certainly deserve a man who can only be manipulated by you.
452631
Wow, the deception will not go away. Really once it has been done like that it will just happen again, and again. The only way she will stop is if she never did it in the first place. Maybe she will find a man she can be honest with, but once that line has been crossed it is so easy to just do it again. I am speaking from experience. I have finally found the one man I can give my life to, and he always comes before me. You just need to find that one woman. I truly believe if she has a heart felt apology she means it, but when things get sticky is when it is so easy to do it again. You just have to never do it even the first time. My advice to you is pick up your pieces and start putting your own life together. The rest will follow suit. Maybe not when and how you like it, but in the end, just stay true and good to yourself, things will be as they were meant to be. I have empathy for your sorrow and wish you a short road to get to your happyness!
142768
boyfriends come and go, you said one u had a past w/ was one of your friends now, he didnt act like that. this ones not a keeper, your real friends see what we can or dont want to see, they are right, he is controling you , becaus eof him he pushes your choices, the ones that know whats right for YOU are the ones who will beat you up because the sme reasons. beware.. also i have found men who think like that are like that, why would he think that way if he wasnt, im 42 and a hair stylist, i have lived and hear "lifes lessons"
568741
Im a guy and I hate dudes that do this kind of stuff,makes it hard for those of us that dont cheat.[we're not all dogs] So check it out CONFRONT HIM.