i'm in love with a guy who is 23 years older than me. Is this gross? i really can't help it. what do you think
217533
The cheesy answer is that true love is blind.  But seriously, your age is more important than his.  Are you over 21, 25 is better.  Then your in a better position to determine if your feelings are real. Also, ask yourself these questions: How important is Sex in your life? If important, will he keep up?  Remember that your sex drive may increase as you hit 30, 40 and greatly at 50.  Can you handle thought of devoting several years to the relationship and then becoming a widow at a young age?  Even though I see nothing wrong or gross about the age gap(assuming that your not under the age of 21), is your love the sort that can handle the criticism of others?  \n\nThere are many other factors to weigh, but i'll let someone with more experince in life say the rest.\n\nP.s Please view my question if you have time
224463
If you just met him tonight, then I doubt that you love him.  What is the age difference and how old are you?  If you are under 25, then I do think age is important because we are not fully adults until about age 25, not 18 like most people think.  And if many of your friends are saying this guy is bad news, than I would take that into consideration and take things VERY slowly.
169004
First of all, I don't see what the big deal is.  What is the difference between 30 and 37 really?  Does it matter to you?  If it is the fact that he lied that is bothering you tell him that, just confront him about it.  If the age thing doesn't bother you and you still love, or at least like, him then just let him know that and tell him you just don't appreciate being lied to and not to let it happen again.  If the age difference bothers you even still after being in a relationship with him...it's probably time to just move on.
302125
Well, of course it is absolutely acceptable!!! You're not his councilor any more, are you? A 24-year-old girl cannot be worrying about that in the 21st. century. Stop wasting your time and his, and say yes to this guy.
334217
A complex problem, but I would say you have to cut one loose to start with.\n\nI wont flame you for the age difference, because to you it probably does not make a difference, but it does to him, he will be wanting a lot more than you should be willing to give, I of course mean sexually. Which is wrong, he shouldnt be dating you, I was 17 once, I know what 17 year old (or 16) guys want I can say I wasnt as desperate, but all of my freinds were only interested in one thing and you shouldnt be considering that.\n\nI think even if you decided on taking things further with an older boyfreind, you will not be as ready as them, but more importantly he could be arrested for it, and if that happens that could really mess things up for him, he would be labelled as a sex offender and that could ruin his future. In terms of a job or life, it would be on his criminal list, perhaps a sex offenders list, where he would be put with dirty old men, it really could be very serious.\n\nIt could also mess things up in your life big time, you have a bit of time, so take your time enjoy life, but try to find a boyfriend closer to your own age, where there will be less problems and you both will have a lot more in common.\n\nAs for the talking on the phone, maybe you both are a little shy which is undestandable (I am guessing he is closer to you age, you didnt say), when you just talk it can be hard to think of things to say, try asking a few questions how he feels about something, talk about common interests, maybe movies, music, friends etc.\n\nAlso there is nothing wrong with being single either, you are young you have a really long time to worry about boyfriends in the future.\n\nI hope this helps and that you take my advice regards the 17 year old guy.\n\nAll the best\n\nArmand.
310620
The age thing alone can be a problem....because he would be in trouble since you are so young... But besides the age difference, there could be other problems. I understand how you feel about his and the masochism. I have a strong masochistic nature too. Regardless of the age, this type of relationship can be unhealthy. There is alot of psychological manipulation behind it.....some negative, and in your young age you may not be able to cope with some of that. I was 23 when i was in a relationship like this...i even married him, but it is very tough on your emotional and mental state.....be prepared. My hubby and i aren't together any longer, and i am struggling to maintain a life with some of the psychological "results" of my past relationships..... just be careful....please!
258588
Well, I'm 35 and my boyfriend is 23....so go for it! You're both adults. If you both consent, to hell with what anyone else thinks. I met my boyfriend two years ago and my mother just hates it!! But, she has to endure because we're about to have a child together (any day now). I'm not ashamed to admit that I initially pursued him because he was hot! I don't regret any of it either. \n\nA word of advice though: the age difference will crop up, no matter how hard you try to ignore it. I'm not just talking about what other people will say. It will crop up between the two of you. There are just some things you can't change and the big one is that you have way more life experience than he does, no matter how mature he may be. How each of you handles these moments will determine whether or not a relationship will work....along with all the other relating factors. Age difference doesn't have to be an obstacle if handled with care. I've had to remind myself on many occasions that I used to be his age and I used to think or act as he does. I can't change him...he's going to things his way...after all that's how we all learn.\nThe very fact that he reminds me of myself at that age is one of the reasons I love being around him. It makes me feel understood and not so alone in the world. I never had that with any other man.
347190
I too have a preference for older men and have been there. First off don't be offended when your family starts in with the what does he want someone so young for. Most occasions when an older man is interested in someone so young it is because there is something wrong with him. That being said there are some relationships that do work out becuase both are really in love and only time will tell this. I suggest that you tell your parents that you know that there is high percentage of varying age difference relationship problems and the two of you love each other and discuss the topic often and want to do your best to work through that and feel it is worth it. More than likely you will get oposition concerning this but don't get angry. There is reasons for their concern and respect that. There does have to be a point though after your family has met him and he has proven time again that he does love you that you need to take a stand and say that's enough he has proven that he loves me regardless of my age and his only negative aspects are normal and I can live with them so I suggest everybody else to just accept my relationship and get over their expectations of me finding someone your own age because it's not going to happen.\n\nOn the other hand if their fears eventually get confirmed then don't be so hard on yourself. We never see it for ourselves until it is too late and going through what ever you may go through could have ended up being a wonderful relationship but you wouldn't have known unless you tried.
665179
The age difference would not bother me.  I think that age is often over rated.  My fiance is 11 years older than me.
52929
I'm attracted to older guys. I don't see a problem with it, honestly. Just make sure you both have similar goals for a relationship. If he is wanting to settle down and lead a nice, quiet life, and you want to go out on the town and party, it won't work. Make sure your priorities for the relationship parallel first.
296669
Age should not make a difference. I should know, I am dating a younger man. So as long as the age is legal I see no harm in it. But, honestly, what do you think you have in common with a 20 y/o?
97950
I don't think there's anything wrong with it.I have younger men interested in me and I just go with the flow. Age doesn't matter as long as you are both adults.
526396
First and most importantly, you are hot. \n\nSecondly, I wouldn't personally date someone 20 years younger than me but then again that person would be 8.   OK seriously, I wouldn't let a meaningless thing like age get in the way of being with someone who made me happy.  Many people are saying that it might not last.  What relationship can you guarantee WILL last?  \n\nANY relationship can end.\n\nSo take a chance.  If you care for him, be with him.  You can't love unless you are willing to risk hurt.  That's just life.  \n\nSo if I were 41 (assuming I don't commit suicide when I turn 30 from the shock and horror of reaching that advanced age) yes, I would definitely take a chance on someone who was 21 if I cared for them.
670786
Sounds pretty normal to me.  Most that I know are into older men though for some reason.  I wouldn't say there's anything particularly wrong with dating an older guy, except that they have other reasons than just love usually for dating younger women.  i.e. bragging rights and such.  ALL men are attracted to young, good looking women, so you'll always get hit on by older guys.  Guys your age are probably still getting over insecurities and such, so that could be part of it.\n\nDon't give up and don't settle, but be careful with the older guys...\n\n*edit* "There is nothing wrong with being attracted to older men who are more likely to be more mature and open to commitment than guys your age. I think its smart of you. "  - That is the most naive thing I've ever heard.  Older definitely does not = more mature or open to commitment.....cripes...so much detail and examples could be given here...
603922
You'll get a lot of people that will say it is, that it's disgusting, etc., but all that is matters is if YOU'RE happy. My boyfriend and are are 27 years apart (I'm 22, he's 49) and we're incredibly happy. It's as if there isn't an age difference between us at all. We love one another, have fun and trust one another and that's all that matters. Sure, we get looks from people or have bold, immature people ask us what it is I see in him and/or how we're able to have a relationship with so many years of age difference, but we don't care.\n\nSo, to answer your question, absolutely not! Like I said though, be prepared for a lot of people to give you pathetic answers calling you a sicko, saying that that's stupid, and judging you in general, but those answers really don't matter because it only means the people judging you like that either a.) aren't in a happy relationship and are angry/jealous at/about those who are in one, b.) they are closed-minded and refuse to see anything outside of the norm, or c.) they're simply immature and want to leave rude, pointless answers.\n\nIf you're happy, go for it :)
206115
Ok look there is nothin wrong wit liking an older person. I have many times and i am only now 14 years old. But howeva let me tell u there is a limit even though someone only being 6 years older than u wont b so bad when u become 20 cuz they will only b 26. Think about dat and let it saturate. But anywayz the limit 4 u would probably b about mayb 18 years old. If the person is older than that b really really really careful and cautious. There are many dangerous ppl in da world these days. I don't think anybody would like if u end up dead or somethin. Even i wouldnt and i dont even kno u!!!!. Howeva it is cool to like older ppl these days. Many younger ppl do enjoy liking older ppl anywayz becuz one they hav more experiences in life than some1 ur age, and two they are usually way way way more mature than someone around ur age. LOL. So i hope dat was good enough advise for ya. But remember...... B REALLY REaLLY REALLY CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
435121
IT WAS FOR ME.  MY FIRST EXPERIENCE WAS WHEN I WAS 18 AND HE WAS 43.  YUMMY!!!    AND I MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WHEN I WAS 24 AND HE WAS 44.  I SAY GO FOR IT.\n\nMY ATTRACTION WAS IN THE FACT THAT AN OLDER MAN KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTED OUT OF LIFE, WAS WORKING TO ACHIEVE THAT GOAL, AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO FINISH "RAISING" HIM.  I FOUND THEM TO BE MUCH MORE SELF-CONFIDENT, SETTLED, AND MATURE THAN THE YOUNGER MAN.  AND THE SEX WASN'T BAD EITHER---THEY WERE MUCH MORE INCLINED IN MAKING SURE THAT I WAS SATISFIED.....THEY WEREN'T SELFISH LIKE YOUNG FELLAS WERE.