I lost my first daughter due to a knotted chord at 33wks and it has been the hardest thing for me to deal with it has been 15 months and I still feel like it was yesterday please help.
198849
Nothing can change the past. We all must leave things behind or they will consume us. So what are you waiting for. If you want a child give it life.
359283
I am extremely sorry to hear your story and you have my hearfelt sympathy.  I can only imagine the deep pain of hurting you must go through everyday.  I really feel for you and I hear and support what you are saying about paying more attention to your kids and looking out for any early 'warning signs'.  I can't really advise you on anything you're asking for but I just wanted to write and wish you well, may God help you in whatever you do.
322353
Grief and grieving is an individual thing. Accept how you feel now. You will only make yourself feel bad by feeling guilt about this. Nothing will be gained by punishing yourself this way. You see there is a time for tears, always. Please be prepared though for your sadness to rise up and make itself felt when you least expect it. It could happen when you are watching a favourite TV show or a DVD movie that you have seen many times, but on this occasion something said along with the music that plays in the background will all of a sudden overwhelm you with sadness and remind you so sharply of your losses that you will be unable to stop the tears falling. This too, is OK. You see we are practical people who have many day to day activities to get through to enable us to live in the manner we see fit. The world keeps revolving and sun comes up each day and goes down at night to be replaced by the moons light. Life goes on and so do we. But our feelings of loss and sadness remain with us for quite some time, sometimes forever. As time goes by, year by year, the sharpness of the pain eases, especially as we have new happinesses and new challenges which give our life purpose. My friend, feel your pain today or tomorrow or next year it is OK. Just recognise that it is there and accept it as a natural human response. Time takes care of all of our ills. Life is truly to be lived...not grieved.
195479
I can't give you advice on what to do with your mother, but what I can do is tell you that to loose a child is the most horrific thing a mother will ever have to go through. It rips your soul apart from the inside out. It has taken me two and a half years to start putting the pieces back together and be normal again. It is a long healing process, that is different for everyone. I do feel sorry for your situation. I don't know all of the dynamics and I'm sure you have your own grief over your brothers untimely death. But just try to picture how you would feel if you were to loose your child. It does sound like you care and are just not knowing what to do, so talk it over with other family and let them be involved also. The loss of a child though messes anyone up!!!!! I've seen alot of people go through this since loosing my daughter. Hang in there and give your baby a big hug, I'll keep you in my prayers.
174334
Well, well, well... here's my prayer for the evening.\nI'm so sorry for all you've lost.\nJust keep getting up in the morning. and put one foot in front of the other. Give yourself time. It hasn't been that long. At least a year or maybe two.\nYou'll be okay. God will comfort.\nPeace to you.
604226
This question has no answer that can possibly relieve your pain, I'm very sorry for your loss and I hope you are able to live your life to the fullest.\nI hope you are able to find a support group to help you through this time.
194859
Yes, you have had it rough, but trust me what goes down will go up.  Things go in cycles and you are just in a down cycle now.  Just wait, eventually a new love will come into your life, your mourning will become less painful and things will improve.  The main thing is to never give up.  Even that little kernel of hope is enough to sustain us.  Remember faith the size of a mustard seed can move a mountain, so what can a little hope accomplish?  Just give it time.  I know that sounds stupid and simple, but those are usually the best answers.  Take care and contact me if you need a sympathetic ear.
95944
When my son was born he became severely ill. He was taken to children's for surgery. I had just miscarried before I got pregnant with him and he was kind of my last hope. We felt awful when he didn't recover right away like they said he would. He lost a lot of weight before he started to come around, and we were there, in the hospital, for about a week and a half. Our biggest inspiration was the other parents we saw and talked too. Some had been there months waiting on transplants that probably wouldn't come. Some knew they would never take their children home, and some helped their children plan their own funerals. What was a week and a half to all that. The point is there is always someone worse off then you. You have your life and you should enjoy it. You never know when your time is up, so you better live now.
560754
I REALLY suggest you see a counsellor. And do some 'self expression' and 'cognitive thinking', when your counsellor is with you, for safety.\n\nAND: **Life is full of ups and downs. And hey pad yourself, you 'have hand' some rough years, that mean you pass them, you made it thru. Also, it's 'have had', it's pass tense, it's history, so tell youself, it's 2006 June 22.**\n\nI understands how you feel, because some here. I been thru more than 10 years of rough time. Even now I still have to practice telling myself ** **.
128988
I'm sorry for your loss.\n\nMy father died unexpectedly when I was 27. \n\nI don't remember much of the first year without my dad, other than some pretty messed-up holidays.  This is a protection mechanism. The first year is the most dreadful, because of holidays, birthdays and the awkwardness of figuring out how to celebrate something supposedly happy with the air of absence and sorrow hanging over it.\n\nWhen people initially told me in a few years it would be better, I was furious with them. I didn't want it to get better and I didn't want believe it would--a part of me felt that I would be a bad daughter if I stopped grieving. As I started healing and felt less pain...TI worried if I was grieving too little. And I thought maybe I had grieved too much, as well! Very confusing. I felt like I was doing everything wrong.\n\nBut this wasn't the case. I was grieving just right for me. And after a few years, it was still sad but not heartwrenchingly so and it kept getting a little better with each passing month. I realized that I wasn't a bad daughter. I realized that I was healing and getting on with my life and that by going on, I was, in my own way, honoring my dad. My father has been deceased for seven years now, and there are still times when it's painful, but it's not crippling or scary any more. And I remember much more of our happy times, too.\n\nPeople grieve at different rates and I feel it is wrong to try to put a timeline on healing. Our society is very timeline-based, even if those timelines don't properly apply to messy, organic processes like recovering from the loss of a loved one.\n\nIf however, you find that your grieving is truly interfering with your family, work and social life after year, you probably need some help working through your sorrow. Books, videos, chaplains or ministers or therapists are all very helpful in situations such as yours.
112783
Stop worrying about him for a second and let him work things out in his own way.  Get yourself back together.  Losing a child is such a traumatic thing that you shouldn't even worry about what he feels right now.  It is about you and how you feel.  \n\nNow as a man, and this is strictly opinion, he may be hurt and doesn't know how to deal with it.  Believe it or not, we deal with loss harder than woman do because of the stereotypes we have been exposed to.  Give him time and just maybe he will WAKE UP.  \n\nUse this time to reconnect with family and friends and get you some help because the miscarriage will effect you for the rest of your life.  Understand you don't need any more stress in your life at this time, so look at the hubby being away as a blessing.  \n\nIf he doesn't come to his senses, then you have to do what you have to do.  But your focus should be solely on you at this time, and not the marriage.  I understand it took two to create the life you just lost, but it will be on you to get beyond this for now.\n\nMy prayers go out to you in your time of need\n\nWT
168360
I'm sorry you lost your father in such a tragic way. You never get over it, you just learn how to deal with it. I would go to a bereavement therapist or I would join a bereavement group in your area. It sounds like you have a lot of pain and you really need to vent instead of holding it all inside. May God bless you and may you find comfort in this hard time. Don't feel because it was 16 years ago, that you shouldn't grieve.
532090
Yes, I think everyone does at some point in their lives. I see you have posted this question several times so I know you are in a really bad place right now.\n\n  I'm very sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your daughter. I can relate to you so well because I have lost two of my own children, a daughter and son both. My daughter was stillborn in 2002 and my son was premature in 2003, he lived for 2 days with the help of machines but died in my arms after they convinced me to unhook the machines. For me, it's the guilt that is eating me alive. What if I had gone to a different doctor? Why didnt I take it easier during the pregnancies? Why in the h*ll did I let them convince me to unhook the machines??!....  I have not been the same since, nothing seems to matter or worth any effort on my part.  You arent really "living",  you're just "existing", right? \n\n  I have found that it helps to talk about it, even if that only means writing out your feelings where no one will ever see it unless you want them to. I have found several support groups for bereved parents online that allow you to post stories, picture, even chat with others about what you're going through; that has helped a lot.No one should have to endure losing their child, that just isnt the way its suppose to be. I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk please know that I am here! Take care of yourself and remember that your daughter is watching over you. I love you too.
63842
Ah, dear sweet mother that you are, don't you know that as much as you love your daughter, that God loves her all that much and more?  He will grant her peace.  He will show her how much you love her, and help her to understand if there was any unresolved issues between the 2 of you, and come to a certain peace about it.  \n\nYou say she was bipolar.  If this ever caused her to do things that were questionable, I think God would not ever hold those things against her.  Please do not worry over her salvation or anything like that.  God is not so cruel.  Would you ever send your daughter to a place of torment?  Of course not!  And God will not either!  That is pure and simple.\n\nLosing a daughter is the hardest loss that anyone on earth probably ever has to face.  I cannot even comprehend it.  You are feeling totally natural things.  Do not feel guilty for the way you feel.  I wish I could give you some kind of magic words that would ease your suffering.  But I do not know them.  Please know that even now, I am crying for you.  Tears are blurring my vision now!  I feel so sad for you.  And I do not even know you.  But I can tell you are hurting, and that you truly truly were a good mother, even if you are unsure of it right now.  I will pray for you.  Do not feel ashamed to seek counseling in this situation.  No one could be prepared for the loss you've endured.  I bet some counselling may help.\nAnd I'll pray for you.\n\nGod bless you and give you peace.
137214
I'm so sorry for your loss.  There is nothing wrong with being sad about the loss of a baby.  You wouldn't be normal if you didn't grieve.\n\nI knew a couple many years ago that wanted a baby real badly.  The wife miscarried several times.  I still remember visiting them in the hospital -- I couldn't say anything, so I just sat on her bed for 20 minutes, held her hand, and then left.\n\nIt took a few months but she slowly returned to her "regular self".   I saw the couple every weekend, and what helped her recovery was:  (1)  Family support (she lived with 2 other relatives in a large home) ; (2) She got busy again, it was a family business.  I think this kept her mind off herself, and onto a regular routine.  (3) We prayed a lot.   \n\nI don't know what you think of prayer -- I know there's the connotation of it being a "last resort" or, wondering if Anyone is actually listening.\n\nBut a huge turning point in my life came when I read this: "For I know the plans I have for you.  Plans not to hurt you, but to give you a hope and a future."\n\nI was amazed the Creator actually had these thoughts for me.\n\n"How precious are Your thoughts towards me, O God.  If I could number them -- they are more than the sand."\n\nWow -- the Creator's thoughts for me are precious.   And they are so many, they are infinite.\n\nYou're having a difficult time, sis.  If you're able, just go out with your husband to a natural place.  Just gaze at how beautiful it is, and don't lose hope.   I know it's hard to read that, when everything seems hopeless.  \n\nI remember when I almost lost my wife -- I lost my temper with her and (GULP!) her parents were staying with us.  They wanted to take her away.  I just thought my world was coming to an end, and that I was falling in a bottomless pit.\n\nI was reading the Psalms, and a verse just leaped out at me.  It held promises.  "I don't feel like anything will change," I prayed.  "But I trust You."\n\nThat was 14 years ago, and I still have my princess.  (She hasn't changed the locks on the front door!)\n\nTry and eat nutritious food.   Fruits, vegetables.  Pure water, and take deep breaths.   Do simple exercises, and take walks.   If you can, listen to a song that uplifts you, and sing those songs.   (Do you have the soundtrack for "O brother, where are thou?"   Excellent bluegrass).\n\nI will remember you in prayer, sis.   And, by the way, the couple I mentioned earlier -- they now have 3 children!
392270
I am sorry that you are in so much pain.  I understand what you are dealing with.  I had an ovarian cyst rupture about 2 years ago, it was terrible.  I thought I was going to die, it was worse than childbirth.  I found getting a massage in that area by my husband to made me feel better, as well as a hot bath, but that was more in my head than anything. The only thing you can do is take pain killers and try to rest.  The body will absorb the fluids.  \n\nAfter 5 days I might consider having the situation reevaluated, sometimes doctors miss something.  I was dealing with the situation for 3 days, and 2 of those days I was in the hospital. \n\nI hope you feel better.
1974
wow, sorry to hear about your girl, thats sad. I dont know why you cannot tell the difference but maybe its because you are in a lot of pain right now and you feel like you are hurting all over.  Again I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope things start looking up for you soon! :)