I hurt from guys, adults, not being loved, and all together everything. My therapist hasn't helped. Another way to help, is how can I find a guy who doesn't just want sex, but is loving and careing?
216027
It's a hard thing to do, I'm 25 years old and still trying to find out myself. Seems like guys nowadays just want one thing and that's it. I've not once found one that is out for who you are or what's on the inside. I suppose it takes time and such. When meeting a guy just be straight up with them and tell them that your not into guys who are out for one thing. If they seem caring and loving, don't be a fool and give in either, let them stay on the hook for some time before doing anything. If they wait and are understanding then do something.
354312
Your question brought tears to my eyes.  Your life sounds like mine when I was 20.  My so called boyfriend and I are 5 years apart also and we have a child together.  Your fiance sounds just like mine years ago. The life you are living is a hard one, I can feel your pain.   I left my boyfriend several times because of his controlling crazy ways. My friends werent good enough, he didnt like me to go out, he was jealous of anything and everything.  And he accused me of sleeping with anybody and everybody (male, female, dog, cat, if I looked at it I was sleeping with it).  He couldnt hold down a job either.  He was a good father also.  Remember men like this make good fathers because they are CONTROLLING. I used to think is this all there is for me like you do but trust me its not.  You can take your child and raise it by yourself.  I raised 2 kids at your age by myself.  Trust me this man is only going to drag you down.  Here I am years 15 years later and I am STILL going back and forth with the same man.  Only difference is now he has changed he is no longer that controlling jerk he used to be.  But it took 15 years to get here. And that is only because he matured in some areas but in other areas he is still a jerk.  We dont live together so why am I holding on? I am working on myself now to figure that out.  My question to you is.  Do you want to wait 15 years like me for this man to finally treat you with the respect you deserve? I can see your like me, you need to save yourself from yourself.  I thought I was in love, funny thing is I still do, but I also know what is best for me.  Men like this never change.  Mine changed his controlling ways but only because he had no choice.  I have figured out through the years that guys like this are always going to find a way to hurt you.  The hurt never stops.  Don't say you made your bed so you should lie in it.  No one deserves the kind of treatment you receive.  I really think you will be able to make a good life for you and you child.  I did.  I am successful and have 2 great kids.  Funny thing is now "jerk" wants to settle down.  But the past is some thing you never forget.  Especially when he is still doing little stupid things that hurt me.  Like I said the hurt never stops.  I would love to give you strength and advice to help you through this because I can sense there is probally more to your story just like their is more to mine.  Dont think you are being selfish.  That was my problem years ago.  I put everyones happiness before my own.  Only sacrifice you need to make is for your child, remember that.  Your child needs to be raised in a loving argue free environment.  It is going to be hard.  Beause this guy has ahold of your mind, more than a hold on your heart.
419973
If you are talking to males online and not in the mood for sex I would move on if you was my girl. You know the real reason you are not in the mood for sex, so be honest with yourself.
59267
your other questions you posted suggest many things. maybe seeing a therapist is in order. you need help
87498
It sounds like he's just really afraid of getting hurt.  I wouldn't say your relationship is only sex though, you've had some great deep coversations and have been friends for a long time.  I definately think there is the potential for a good relationship here.  The only thing is, he needs to be on board.  Don't try to force a relationship if he's not ready.  Talk to him about it, and try to gain his trust.  Sometimes when someone has closed themselves off for that long, they have a hard time opening up again.
613174
You're obviously one of those chicks that think all dudes just like sex and nothing else. Have you tried talking to him about this, or did you immediately label him gay and come to Yahoo? The problem might be as simple as he's expecting more than to get laid.
244426
my best advice would be to just go out on a date...it doesn't have to be with someone you're attracted to if that's easier...maybe a male friend...someone you know will me nice to you...so you can see how it should be.  Maybe meeting someone someplace like church would help...or a group in your area for people who've had abuse in their lives.
455392
Get couples counseling. Perhaps if he heard it from someone else, he'd realize that his neanderthal view of sex is outdated and unfair, and you are miserable because of it.\n\nIf he won't get counseling and you said talking to him doesn't work, then you decide to stay and keep fulfilling your "obligation" or stand up for your rights and feelings, and don't have sex if you don't want it. Maybe if he had to go without for a while, he'd change his attitude a bit...\n\n...or maybe he'd stray or become violent...\n\n...or you can decide you've had enough, that it's not worth the conflict of standing up for yourself in the bedroom, and you can move on...\n\nYou are choosing to keep yourself in an unhappy situation...do what you can to fix it or get out...if you cannot fix it, then choose to resign yourself to your fate, or get out...\n\nThis life is too short (imo) to be unhappy in our jobs or personal lives...we choose to be happy or unhappy...we make our lives what we want them to be...\n\nWhat do you want yours to be? Make it so.
521573
hi monica...being a guy i can understand ur feelin...most often evn i have asked this question to my self...where hv d gud gurls gone...lemme answer ur quest first...d answer to this lies in ur heart....there is a tale that good guys r like apples on the top of the tree..most gurls pick the rotten ones lyin down d grn cz they dnt wanna go up d tree n pick d best 1....\n\nso d funda is u need to choose urself abt which guy is jst lukin for sex or which guy is really genuine...there might be things u wnt find in every guy...1 might be very gud lukin but yet violent inside...d other might be jst avg but he might be a gem at heart...but mostly gurls go for the bad ones cz they like d thrill of chasin sum1....when u get u want in life where is the thrill...\n\n\ni am 27 but still lonely but hopin my love wld come sumday soon......i also hope d same for u...my best regards.......
94200
Sounds to me like you are trying to talk yourself into staying- talking yourself into the idea period.  It doesn't have to be a horrible relationship or an abusive guy to make it just "not feel there". Do what's in your heart.
92013
If you are trying to find "love"....you are going about it in the wrong way......believe me.....you should not be giving it up at all.......if you just sleep around, the guys are just going to pass you around for a good time.  Love is a very sacred, very special feeling......it has nothing to do with sex.....my advice.....get to know someone very well before you even consider sleeping with them.....have some self respect...and guys will respect you.
598120
You're taking the wrong approach.  You're trying to get a guy to love you by being something you're not.  You should be looking for a guy who loves you for who you are.
141121
you don't sound like a sexaholic. you sound like you just really enjoy the opposite sex. there is nothing wrong with it as long as you are careful and honest with everyone. however, if you really think you need help, there are support groups for this sort of thing.
95701
Speeking from someone who knows, I have BPD & an eating disorder and bi-polar. My husband goes throgh exactly what u are.I too have ngaged in bi-sexual acts, and too have slept with someone under 18, & I was 31. I myself just like to be left alone for awhile and then I seem to come around eventually. For me medication is my therapy, though I do go to one-on-one sessions.\nIs she on any meds? That might help.\nGood Luck
162034
You need to evaluate how you are choosing men to sleep with and why you dont feel good about yourself. You need to be in love with yourself in order to love others completely.
384980
tia: There are lots of guys out here that would "do you" at a "drop of a hat".  But why would you want to be used just for sex?  After you do the act ... then, what?  You have to be with the guy who had you.  How do you know he will then, stay with you ?  Chances are, he will tell all his friends about what you did with him, ( he will add more to the story than actually went on), and the guys he told will all start coming around to use you.  Sex toys will prove to work against you because later on, you will find that no guy can perform like a sex toy with batteries.  This will leave you feeling down and unfulfilled.  Focus on the quality of the guy you want ... ask yourself, " do I want just sex or a guy who really loves me?"
580973
TIME TIME TIME\nYou 've only gone out with him for a month, that is not a lot of time. \n\nIf he has the "Peter Pan syndrome" you are doomed to never been able to counsel him no matter what.\n\nItss natural though, to be closed, when someone has hurt you so much! That is absolutely normal, and I dont think you should be only worrying about sexual relations at this point, and you should consider why you have to rush in to a sexual relation for it to be valid?\n\nThe guy needs his space, give it to him, or you will push him out for good.\n\nBe nice to him and no pressure if you want a more responsive action on his part, but dont make him feel bad or you will also hurt him and maybe he will dump the entire idea of you.