What happens in divorce court if you say you do not want a divorce
200749
you can't\nmost states are  no fault, and the only way to contest them would be for money and child support / custody, but once papers are filed, the dissolution of marriage ( as it's known in legal terms ) will be granted, it might take longer if it's contested, but eventually who ever filed will get the judgment and you cannot stop it. He also does not have to give a reason ( hence the term no fault ).\n\nNew York Has A Version of No-Fault Divorce\n\nNew York does not have no-fault divorce as such. Instead, New York's version of a no-fault divorce requires that the spouses live apart from one another for at least a year before a divorce can be filed. The parties must execute a Separation Agreement, which must be filed with the local County Clerk before the one-year period begins to run. The spouse suing for divorce must prove that he or she has substantially performed the terms of the Separation Agreement to obtain a divorce. If you obtain a divorce based on a written Separation Agreement, you don't have to sign any papers or give any testimony about reasons for the divorce. In other words, no personal allegations against either spouse are necessary. There are other grounds for divorce in New York which are explained below.\n\nThere are several steps that must be completed before you can file for a divorce in New York State.\n\nResidency Requirements\n\nFirst, you must satisfy the residency requirements set forth in Domestic Relations Law §230. To file for a divorce in New York you must satisfy one of the following residency requirements:\n\n1)The marriage ceremony was performed in New York State and either spouse was a resident of the state at the time of the commencement of the action and resided continuously in this state for one year immediately before the action began;\n\nOR\n\n2)The couple lived as husband and wife in this state and either one is a resident thereof and resided in this state for a continuous period of one year immediately prior to the commencement of the action;\n\nOR\n\n3)The grounds for divorce occurred in this state and either party is a resident thereof and lived in this state for a continuous period of one year prior to commencement of the action;\n\nOR\n\n4)The grounds for divorce occurred in this state and both parties are New York residents at the time the action is commenced;\n\nOR\n\n5)If you and your spouse were married outside of New York and you never lived together as husband and wife in this state and the grounds for divorce did not occur in this state -- either you or your spouse must presently be a resident of New York State and have resided continuously in the state for at least two years prior to bringing this case.\n\n\nServing the Summons and Complaint\n\nSecond, you must ensure that the court has jurisdiction over your spouse (the Defendant) by arranging for him or her to be served with a Summons and Complaint or a Summons With Notice.\n\nStep 1: Your divorce action begins when you purchase an index number and file the summons with the County Clerk’s office.\n\nStep 2: Your spouse must then be served with a copy of the summons by being personally given the document. It is important to determine where your spouse is located. If he or she lives in New York State, the server must be a resident of New York State, over eighteen years of age, and CANNOT be a party to the action (this means you may not serve your spouse with the summons).\n\nIf your spouse is presently residing outside of New York State you must still ensure that he or she is personally served with the summons. It is preferable to have this service accomplished by a New York resident, although this might be costly. If you use a non-New York State resident to serve your spouse outside of the State, the server must be a qualified attorney, solicitor or the equivalent in that state or nation. Otherwise the person must be authorized to serve papers pursuant to the laws of that state.\n\n \n\nThe person
573151
I filed for divorce.  My attorney told me that it would make a better case in my favor (as a female) if I did so since my Ex was dragging his feet.  It did work out for me.  The judge granted me  sole custody of our child ( we were going for joint custody) and my ex was told to pay my attorney fees.
267842
My dad (my parents have been married for 57 years) says that divorce is not an escape from your problems, just a new set of problems. That's why second and third marriages have a higher divorce rate then first marriages. Divorce is sometimes the only way to address certain relationship issues, but it needs to be as a last resort. Too often, people give up without investing any real effort.
231805
Don't divorce over a moment of unhappiness. Try to make it work if you can because divorce is one of the most painful experiences ever. It can ruin friendships and families. Your children will definitly be affected and so will you even though you think you don't love him. Stay committed to  the vow you made and learn how to be happy where you are. Many people because of unhappiness chooses divorce as an option and it should never be an option. Be an adult and communicate how you feel to your husband and see a marriage counselor. Please don't be like everyone else and take the easy way out. If he is not abusing you or mistreating you, be happy. He may be the best thing for your. I've been divorced for 2 years and dating is hard. Sorry men, but these men out here are a trip. Trust me, the grass is not greener on the otherside. Don't you know many people would love to have what you have. That is why they date. My advice is to stay and make it work because it can.
276951
Not sure why the other kids live with dad, but you got to answer what you want first, then it's maybe what he wants, as long as it agree's with your wish's, it's your body, your life.  I assume separated means not divorced, that could make things kind of messy come court time yes?
461989
Legal separation is not the same as divorce.  If you want to remarry you need to get a divorce.
467288
It's not wrong to want her but if you're getting a divorce, u might as well sleep in different beds or better yet, one of u move out of the house.
637967
Why, so you can stay married to someone that wants a divorce?  Strange, strange, strange world we live in.  You should file and set the hearings and if she doesn't show up, you get everything.
222513
You got divorced for a reason.  Remember that reason, and move on.
254597
Are you not wanting the children?  My exhusband spends no time with his children and well as upset as I was about before I am no longer upset.  Full custody... physical custody or sole custody?  I would go ahead and sue for sole custody removing him of rights to the child so it is no longer sparatic and emotionally draining or damaging to the child's self esteem and well being.
588184
Separation does not mean divorce.  You still have to get the legal paper work done.  Check with your state to see how this is done.
376847
I am usually whole heartedly against a divorce when a child in involved, but if he doesn't want to go to counseling and try to turn things around, then divorce him.
70035
Your spouse may be awarded part of your retirement in a divorce, but if they re-marry, they will lose it. VA benifits may not be awarded to a divorcee.
194487
Talk to a lawyear. You can't just leave while court in underway. You need to try and win sole custody of your children than you can leave the state. The thing is, you need to prove to court that you are afraid of your husband, and that you are afraid he might hurt the kids. Lawyer will help you put everything together, use your bad experience with your husband as evidence for abuse. If you ever went to hospital or kids because of his abuse use that even if you said you/they fell.
658667
No-fault divorce is divorce in which the dissolution of a marriage does not require fault on either husband or wife to be shown. It occurs on petition to the court, typically a family court by either party, without the requirement that the petitioner show fault on the part of the other party. Either party may request, and receive, the dissolution of the marriage, despite the objections of the other party.\n\nModern "no-fault" divorce came about because of widespread disgust among lawyers, judges, and the general public with the legal fictions that had become commonplace since the mid-20th century.\n\nPrior to the no-fault divorce revolution, a divorce could be obtained only through a showing of fault. This was something more than not loving one another; it meant that one spouse had to plead that the other had committed adultery or abandonment or some other similarly sinful act. However, the other spouse could plead a variety of defenses like recrimination. Often, a judge might find that the defendant had not committed the alleged act, or that both spouses were at fault for the fact that the marriage was dysfunctional. Either way, the judge would refuse to dissolve the marriage.\n\nSubsequently, at some point the two spouses would each find some other person they really loved, and then would seek to marry that other person. But first, they had to get rid of their existing marriage or risk prosecution for bigamy.\n\nNew York was notorious for its "collusive adultery," in which both sides deliberately agreed that the wife would come home at a certain time and discover her husband committing adultery with a "mistress" obtained for the occasion.[1] She would then swear to a carefully tailored version of these facts in court (committing perjury in the process), the husband would sheepishly admit to a similar version of the facts, the judge would convict the husband of adultery, and the couple would be divorced.\n\nIn most other states, especially California, the most popular grounds for divorce was cruelty (which was unavailable in New York). For example, by 1950, wives were pleading cruelty in 70 percent of divorce cases in San Francisco.[2] In case after case, wives would testify to the same pitiful facts: their husbands swore at them, hit them, and generally treated them terribly.\n\nThis procedure was described by California Supreme Court justice Stanley Mosk in a passionate dissent:\n\nEvery day, in every superior court in the state, the same melancholy charade was played: the "innocent" spouse, generally the wife, would take the stand and, to the accompanying cacophony of sobbing and nose-blowing, testify under the deft guidance of an attorney to the spousal conduct that she deemed "cruel." — In re Marriage of McKim, 6 Cal. 3d 673 (1972) (Mosk, J., dissenting) [3]. \nNeedless to say, such empty procedures were appalling to both lawyers and judges, who felt that it made oaths meaningless and threatened to destroy the integrity of the American justice system (by making lying in court into a commonplace occurrence).\n\nIndeed, as early as the 1930s, a treatise on American family law had complained:\n\nIn divorce litigation it is well known that the parties often seek to evade the statutory limitations and thus there is great danger of perjury, collusion, and fraud .... In many cases no defense is interposed, and often when the case is contested the contest is not waged with vigor or good faith.[4] \nStarting in the 1960s, numerous commentators pointed out that it might be best to recognize that two spouses who were determined to end their marriage would get what they wanted by any means necessary. Therefore, they argued, the law should adapt by providing a straightforward procedure for ending a marriage, rather than forcing a couple who just couldn't get along to choose between living together in "marital hell" or lying under oath in open court. The most prominent
138465
Get in contact with a lawyer, have them advertise in the paper in the Legal section (like 30 or 90 days) they will tell you, if your husband doesnt respond or put up a fight you will automatically be granted your divorce.
76933
Have the wife get a divorce from the husband.