This is the story. I am 27 and have moved to Japan working for 3 years now. My plan is to go back to the states by the end of this year with my term is finished here. I have got to know this Japanese girl 3 month ago, as we started dateing and was soon fell in love. She is very serious about the relationship as she believes that I would take her with me and move back to the state. I really like her too, but do not want to make that decision so soon with so little time to know the real her and also realizing we still have communication problem from the language barrier. (She can not speak English). Due to our cutural differences and perspectives in relationships, we been arguing endlessly as we have disagreed with each other on a lot of things. My interest in her has weakened, but she still think things could work out and still loves me even I have acted the lack of interest in her. How do I break up with her without hurting her knowing she is not the one I want to end up with?
210755
thats just the thing,if she loves u then there is no way u can do it without hurting her.she will hurt.but what u need to do is tell her what u have just told me.tell her that u dont think she is the one and that u think that she will find someone who will love her verry much.tell her that u love her but ur not in love with her(if thats the case)let her know all of this cause the longer u wait the harder it will be to do.but just try ur hardest to let her know how u feel and try to make her understand how u feel and understand that she will find someone else who will love her and she will love back.good luck and hope it works out
646156
Don't rush her, if it is to be things will work out for you in time.  Good Luck :-)
601946
withdraw yourself for some time. don't make it worse than it already is! she is 10 years older than you. even if she loves you, she might also be totally confused now.\n\ntime will solve it.\nin any case, you did enough because you told her about your feelings. don't go crazy if she is quiet. get yourself busy with your own things for a while. maybe you can make peace some time later.\n\nlook. I also did like this with my closest male friend two weeks ago! (what a coincidence). but here the reason was different: I fell in love with HIM. and we also had a fight before that.\nof course we had, cause everybody was expecting something else from the whole relationship than he/she got!\nso it is the same: we don't talk and also don't write now.\nI told him not to!\ncause I can't take it any more, cause it hurts, cause... blahblahblah!\n\nbut the truth is that now after two weeks I calmed down and I would really want to make peace - if I only knew how!!!\n\nI think it is best you give her and yourself TIME.\n"and time can do so much...\noh myyyy love.. my darling, I hunger for\nyour touch\nalone"\n:-)\n\ncomm'on, put some good music and cheer up.\nyou are not the only one on this planet who messes up friendship for love!\nhere is another one, hellooo there!\nbut this one, over here.. ye she is female.\n \n((maybe you want a younger woman than 31? can we exchange ur ex-friends? instead of writing them poems? well, I haven't started writing poems yet, but I must tell, I am not far from it!!!\nI already sent him songs! hm.\nit is only the world cup keeping me mentally busy now, otherwise I would be writing poems and crying all day!\n\nI am OLNY 25, by the way! don't despair, the sea if full of good fresh fish!!!))
671191
Yes! Long distance relationships CAN work out! It is A LOT of hard work. I don't know what country you are from and what the customs are there, so I don't know how relevant or plausible my advice will be.\n\nAlways tell her your true feelings. Let her know your worries. Don't forget to tell her how much she means to you, OFTEN!\n\nAlways treat each other with honesty, trust, understanding, respect, and be willing to compromise and to communicate thoughts and feelings openly. This is the basic foundation of a relationship that both people need to work on to make it work, especially for a long distance relationship.\n\nIf you've both been waiting for each other six years, I don't think there's much to worry about. Once you have earned the money, go back and see her. Tell her and show her how much she means to you. Talk about both of your futures.\n\nFight for your relationship, but also be realistic. Sometimes no matter how much both of you care about each other, there are other things that get in the way, such as time and physical distance. Long distance relationships can work, depending on how willing both people are to put hard work into the relationship.
242632
Hard to say. I've been in love with the same guy for the past five years and he lives on a different continent. My parents are very strict and it was hard on us for a while. I thank my lucky stars he stayed by me and waited it out until I was able to contact him again. However, it depends on how long you've known the girl, what her feelings are for you, and your own past. Have you fallen for girls before? Is waiting for her worth it if you're only going to be with her for a few months when you're together? You need to answer allot of questions first dear.
313339
well it depends i know that i almost took a break from my realtionship because i was also frustrated but i din't.  i decided that if i really wanted this realtionship to work i have to talk out my feelings so he could understand.  if you really like her or love her ask if she would just try to talk to you explain her fellings to you.  this will not only bring you two closer but will also help you understand her needs better....good luck
26997
Omg...there is so much to say about long distance relationships...I just got out of a long distance relationship about a month and a half ago, there are many many many things you should consider before pursuing a long distance relationship....we only lived about an hour and fifteen minutes away from eachother, but there will were soo many times when I Was having a bad day and just hearing his voice WAS NOT enough!!..you are going to want and need her by yourside at times when she can't be!...there will also be a lot of long, cold and lonely nights that you have no choice but to spend by yourself.I am not knocking long distance relationships, but you should really make sure you are ready for such a big step! you will have to be a strong willed person in order to make it work,because it is not easy! there will be times when you will see other couples together hand in hand, and wish it was you and her, or maybe a happy couple on T.V, but no matter what it is you will feel the pain of not being able to be with her as often as you would like especially when couples are all around you!.. but it isnt all bad though, sometimes it is very exciting! it also depends on how often you will be able to see eachother. we used to see eachother at LEAST every other weekend if not more, but it was still super hard and lonely when we werent together! my advice to you is that if deep down in your heart you really think that you guys can make it work, then go for it, and the wisest thing i can tell you is DO NOT LET OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS INFLUENCE YOUR DECISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so many people will have something to say about it, and will tell you it wont work and try to discourage you, DONT get discouraged...One of things that  kept me and him together for so long is that we didnt care what the hell other people thought about what we were doing, and in this type of situation you need to do the same thing, or else its not going to work, because people can be VERY convincing sometimes, and you just might end up missing out on one of the best things in your life!
193172
Ask yourself if you really love her. Long distance relationships are really hard. If you can't keep it together because she is so far away, then end it. Love requires sacrifice
174702
Accept her decision if you sincerely care for her. If thet time is right things will happen for the two of you. I also think that you should really think this realtionship through! You say you have been together for three years yet you have only seen her for a total of six weeks thats not healthy in a realationship. Did you ever think that she might have someone in her country? Just think it over and if she is still the one ask her to marry you. Good Luck!
443456
Too busy moving for three months??? Not a single email...im...message on your phone...nothing???  I think maybe you need to give the girl you are currently dating a chance...dream girl sounds too good to be true.  If she tried im'ing you wouldn't you have received an offline message???  \n\nDon't you think it's unfair to the girl you've been dating to just all the sudden say oops sorry found the other girl I was talking with three months ago so see ya later?  I mean you must be attracted to the girl you are currently with or you wouldn't be dating her...if dream girl is the one for you and it's meant to be you will find each other when the time is right.  \n\nHow serious are things with your current girlfriend?  Have you moved past the just getting to know you stage where you are both still seeing other people or have you made some sort of commitment?  You now have a third party in the picture and need to consider her feelings as well.  I hope you think long and hard before making a final decision...you know the grass is not always greener on the other side.  Also have you thought maybe of just having a friendship with dream girl first...if there is one thing I have learned it is that friendship first makes a huge difference in how a relationship will progress.  Exploring a friendship while dating someone else may give all of you a chance to see what the future holds without hurting someone's feelings.  Who knows maybe you and the girl you are currently dating will decide that you are just better off as friends...there are lots of possibilities...try being honest with your current girlfriend and get her advice...you may be surprised.
97253
I met this guy at some chats last year. We realized that we were really serious about each other.He proposed that he find a really good job in my country (we're one oceans apart), just so that he can be closer to me.He's not here in my country YET but yeh, he got a GREAT job already and he's arriving at the airport THIS SUNDAY!!!!! I'm very optimistic about our relationship face-to-face.. It's definitely going to be better than chats.. at least we can touch now ;) Just take note of this. If he's serious about you, ask if he can go to YOUR place. You'll know how much he's serious then. \nAnd it also depends on how serious YOU are about him. Think about it yeh? Good luck!
337290
What do you want to do?  If you care about her and want to be with her, give her some time - it sounds like she'll come around, since she obviously still wants you to be a part of her life.  If you want to move on, that's a whole different story, but you need to decide whether what you want is in sync with what she wants, or whether it's time for you to find someone else.  Personally, I don't think a month is a long time - if you wait it out until she's more comfortable with herself, in the long run you two will have a stronger relationship.
217072
Patience. You just need plenty of patience. It might work out, it might not. Just play it by ear. Don't do anything that you don't feel comfortable in doing. Best bet would be to wait for an opportunity to arise to see her. That opportunity might happen, or might not. Whatever you do, don't rush in without thinking. Patience is the key and let the relationship develop. You'll know when it can't grow any further. You'll start treading communicating to her.
354504
You know, it's hard to have a long distance relationship.  Don't ruin the celebration.  Wait until your next get together, and say you think your studies and distance between you mean you need to take a break from being an official couple.  It's not really anything against her, but you just can't break up at a birthday celebration, not cool.  You are smart to be conscious of not leading her on.  Remember that breaking up is about you, not the other person. Think long and hard about why you need more time to yourself, jot it all down and you'll be able to come up with a perfectly nice way to let her down easy.  You never know where you'll be in future.  You don't want to be mean.
330622
I think you need to give more details on your situation because I don't know what you are asking. What do you mean by you are "seperated"? \n\nDid you two once go out as boyfriend and girlfriend and was living much closer to each, but now live far apart but now the relationship is long term?\n\nAnd what do you mean you have problems talking to her on the phone? Describe what the problem is.....\n\nMore details please...
422531
How old is the girl...perhaps she feels she is not ready for more...\n\nI sugguest that if you are both of legal age then you sit her down and talk to her, lack of communication is one of the biggest factors in relationship breakdowns...maybe she is just waiting for you to make the move...perhaps she thinks your not ready yet...or maybe she believes no sex before marriage...\n\nit could be a wide range of things...talk to her....
410757
She is moving waaaaay too fast!!  (My own opinion, of course!)\n\nYou are going in the right direction.  Distance can be a wonderful asset to building a relationship.  If forces the two to go beyond that initial "lust" and "infatuation" stuff and build a truly lasting friendship as well as deep relationship.  But, if one of the members is pushing for drastic change, well, I would be a little leery and wonder why?\nIf this is something you both want and think is going to last a lifetime, why go storming into it before you really get a chance to build that solid foundation?\nBut talk to her, keep building the way you are.  I believe in slow and lasting rather than wham bam, and gone!\nGood luck!