I was hoping that someone could be understanding, but I've noticed that there are women out there who get thrills out of testing guys, when it comes to relationships, how am I supposed to handle this in order to succeed? if I mess up and wish to continue on the same person, how do I correct the mistakes made? I honestly have a hard time speaking to women and am so scared of messing up. I want to succeed and am in need of help.\nI had no idea that alot of men were still in school, being evaluated. PJ
203676
You had no idea you were being evaluated?  That is the same thing you are doing to the women.  It's not supposed to be head games and drama.  But everyone in a relationship is testing to see if that is the right person for them or if they should go else where.
369237
Well, I have to say that I am sorry that you have run into a woman who could not appreciate you for who you are and what you have to offer, but I have to say that all women do not blame all of our problems on men.\n\nI am a firm believer in the fact that it is fairly unlikely for any problems involving more than one person to be the fault of any one person. I do believe that woman are very capable of contributing to the problems and successes of their relationships. \n\nTo me, the issue really becomes are we both able to acknowledge and accept are our role in the storyline of our relationships. Just as I think it is unfair for all men to be categorized, I believe that it is unfair for all women to be categorized.\n\nBoth men and women are capable of doing some low down things and of being disrespectful to their mate, neither sex is immune. The whole thing comes down to having the ability to recognize right from wrong, having the ability to treat one at least as well as we hope to be treated, and the ability to refrain from participating in behaviors that are hurtful....and finally, having the ability to tell our mates that if they are not giving us what we need that the relationship has to end. (And I don't mean that just from the prospective of a woman...we are all guilty of it)\n\nSo in essence, it comes down to being able to effectively dialogue one with another to maintain a good, working relationship.
365439
You don't have to speak every thought you have. You need some social skills thats all. You are coming on too strong. Guys like to do the chasing. Back off and let them.
272920
You had a real loser, and I want to assure you, not all men are that way. There are some, just like there are some bad women, but the vast majority of guys I know, respect their women very highly. I raised two boys myself, and I taught them from an early age that ladies are special, and must be treated with dignity and respect.... treat them the way you want to be treated. For a guy to treat you the way he did, he is a disgrace to the male gender. I apologize to you, on his behalf. I am sorry Mam!
643020
Finding a decent guy isn't that easy. I'm speaking from experience here. I'm 25 and in less than a year will finally be finished with my Ph.D., and have found that most guys are untrustworthy. But I do know that there are a very few decent ones out there. Maybe try looking in different places, like museums, church, the theater, etc. If you ever want to chat about this or anything else feel free to drop me a line
199368
Some men are insecure about being approached by ANY women. Also, many men are afraid to approach WOMEN.  The prettier the more difficult to approach a girl -- because they're afraid of being turned down.  \n\nI'd continue to do what you're doing--work the odds.  Just because you get turned down sometimes, doesn't mean you will always get turned down.  Just make it clear you're interested -- stay approachable.  Guys are so weak about being turned down.  And they play the double standard by acting like women are too agressive if they do the approaching.  Not all though.  So you've got to play the odds.  Trust me, it will all work out.  Just hang in there.
77616
Its how it goes. I am sorry that you had your heart broken. It's just how it unfolds, you shouldn't worry too much about your past relationships, move on to the future ones. I think I have an understanding of most women, but then again I have a hard time figuring out why men act the way they do. In the end I only know why I do what I do.\n\nWomen aren't evil in my opinion. There are good and bad members off all the genders. The main thing to focus on is how you behave and act in a relationship.\n\nKeep on looking and don't lose hope, there is love out there for everyone. Believe in true love.
110400
How about, \nI was just wondering what you are doing later, or if you have a class with her say, do you understand what is going on in...insert subject here.  Or you can try the old, my God you are the most beatiful girl here, could I take you out sometime...good luck, let me know how it goes, The 8 ball has a good feeling about this!!!
204182
Forget about what is being said. People will do anything for easy points. I say, keep doing what you doing and being a playa isn't easy. We players, have reputations to protect from those who want to be like us. Just play it and set it up smoothly. Besides, that's what women are good for. Once they all find out, just play it off like a rumor being spread and move onto the next. DON'T TRIP!!! TRUST ME, HOMIE!!!
538405
You are just nervous. It is natural to feel some doubt after all what if you get rejected. What you need to remember is that men find assertive, positive, and direct women to be irresistable. Long story short just Say It already.
493525
Kudos to you for realizing that that boy (note, he's not a man) was an idiot.  Anyone who would put you second to someone else, disrespect you, and hurt you is not worth anyone's time let alone your time.  Every woman deserves respect and every woman should demand respect.  I reccommend hanging out with any close female friends you might have.  Rent movies, eat your favorite foods, have  good time being with people who are worthy of being in your company.  Finally, take up something you've always wanted to do, be it a sport, yoga, knitting, scrapbooking, rapping, dancing, cooking, the list could go on and on.  Be adventurous, concentrate on yourself, and congratulate your reflection in the mirror every morning for dumping that immature sack of baggage that you now no longer have to be burdened with. (If he was able to make fun of the woman he was supposed to care for, what else was he doing?)
610087
Poor thing. Have you been burned recently? I feel your pain. Ok. Mind games. Men have egos, huge egos. When a woman he thinks is his (and 'only' his) is seen with another man, even a friend or anything similar, ego says "Hey, if other egos sees my lady with someone else, I am less of a man. This is unallowable. I should make her jealous to make her focus on me." \nThis is a broad generalization of course, but it seems that this is the case a lot of the times, and guys hate to admit that they are not in control of the situation. Everyone judges us by the kind of mate we can find. If you have a chunky girlfriend, you are a chubby chaser and cant hack a fine chick. If you have a fine chick, guys envy you but also try to ruin what you got. Its a bit of a juggling act, and mind games are just one way to juggle so many balls in the air at once. On behalf of the thinking man, sorry for the mind games, its a defense mechanism.
79674
I think it important to assess how you behave in a new relationship. Are you perhaps a bit too full-on? Are you maybe even trying a bit too hard? I have a friend who is in a similar situation to you. She is a great person with a great personality but she has never managed to have a relationship that lasts more than a couple of months. Guys break it off because like your situation they like her but just feel that she's not compatible with them for a relationship. She's got loads of friends, but no boyfriend. this is because she's so outgoing and full-on. She tries hard to impress and guys just feel like they can't relax and get into a proper relationship. Shes a great laugh and really fun to be around but could they talk to her about problems? Could they share a secret with her? Could they just snuggle up with her and not have to have an exciting conversation? No. Just relax in a relationship. Don't be afraid to be a bit vulnerable and girly. let the guy take the lead a bit. Let him try to impress you. good luck.
584859
Your man suffers from very low self-esteem.  He’s telling you these things to let you know that other women desire him.  The only problem is that more than likely, these women don’t exist.  Give this exercise a try, wait a couple of weeks and tell him a guy tried to hit on you when you were out.  He will become jealousy.  If so, my theory holds true.  \n\nUltimately, you really want to eliminate this problem as soon as possible.  Tell him how it makes you feel and ask him not to tell you these types of things.  Personally, I’m not into game but it sounds like he needs a dose of his own medicine.  Good luck and God bless.
359585
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa....... where is this coming from??\n\n*smacks HER upside the head* (yes......she's a she. Why she uses gorgeous hunky avatars is beyond me.....but God they are gorgeous to look at!)\n\nOk.....who said you were bad at relationships? And you are so not destined to be alone. *smacks her head again* You are adorable. You're funny..... you have depth.... you have intelligence.... you've got honesty and DEFINITELY have integrity. And you have more than that...... but I'm stopping with the list. You KNOW what I mean. \n\nMay I be so bold as to say.... relationships work and fall into place once we find ourselves. That ole silly line about no one can love us until we love ourselves has a bit of truth in it. You have to understand yourself first. What you need..... what is important to you. Where you are going... how you are going to get there. \n\nOnce you do... its amazing how your confidence level goes up. Simply because.... you have focus. Without focus......gosh our mind and goals and wants and needs are scattered all over the place. so we feel like we are failures at relationships merely because we are failures at keeping ourselves together long enough to focus on a relationship. I hope that makes sense in some small way. \n\nThe key is......knowing what you want... but knowing WHY you want it. You have to spot what is good and what is good for you. Not just what is before you.  You have to go thru some bad experiences as well. The have to have seen the bad to recognize the good. \n\nPlease never feel you are destined to be alone. You are destined for such great things. Besides...... you have great people cheering you on. ;)
662798
Stay Strong Grasshopper, and never say "never!"  Nobody can see what lies ahead for tomorrow, but its important to try to prepare and set yourself up for success.  I'm sure both man or women are glad to have friends either online and/or in person, but its hard maintaing them and staying close, so it only seems fair to say that the conversations, and content must remain exciting and spontaneous.  :)
225987
Love is treating me real bad. Three different women want to have sex with me this weekend, but ... \n1) one of them is married, and 2 live with boyfriends.\n2) I have a girlfriend who lives in another state. I haven't  cheated yet, why start now?\n3) I am skeptical of a woman who solicits sex from me. I just am. All the fun is in the chase. That is where intelligence comes in. How can I be subtle with a woman who is oblivious to the subtle things in life?\n\nThis may come as a surprise but I have had enough sex. I am ready to shut the game down, but every girl I meet thinks I am still a player.\n\nI'm serious I have got to have a girl with a brain; no compromise. I don't care beautiful a girl is. What I want to know is; can she spell beautiful?\n\nSo ...