I feel cheated. Born to parents that were old enogh to be my grandparents. Last child of 12. When I was eight, watched 3 of my brothers rape my sister. My whole childhood was #%!!, mother physically abused me. Not sexually. Daily beatings, the females wern't allowed to go outside or have friends. No TV in the house. The males got new cars @ 16, they could date, they coul go outside. I rember my punishments, one was to kneel in the corner on rocks for an hour, if you were caught looking away from the wall, another hour was added. The other was to get a serious spankin with wire.
205325
parents back then were that type of persons with their families, and they just were raised themselves that way and is not your mother's fault, but her, mother, and then her mother of her mother...and so on....nonetheless, you can make the change with your family and with you followed generations to come.....in your case, I can see that you have these hateful feelings about your mom, and brothers....Remember that things happens for one reason, you don't know why it happened the way it happened, but thank God, you are ok, even though you feel these feelings.....Try to forget if you can, try to do well to others and always, talk to others, the way you were treated like that others wont do what your mom did to you, and let this experience be of good use to others and forget all bad feelings and live a healthy life you and your family, God bless you and if you could Get a bible study..Good luck.
408441
Answer:\n\nNo I don't, but yes I do in some cases depending how it's done.\nI'm sorry, this is going to be kinda long...\n\nI'm not from Europe BTW, but I think this fits in here so please bare with me.\n\nI come from a family where you were beat for almost any reason: chewing gum too loud. Laughing too loud. Getting a B in a report card. Sleeping too long. Saying the word "No" to your parents, getting beat up by someone and you come home just to have your mother beat you up because you got beat up by someone else. The list goes on, but I won't bore you with the details.\n\nUnfortunately I was beat a lot. Maybe I was a hard to teach child but I tell you I got beat almost every day from the age of 5 to the age of 14.  I was not a bad child, I was just hyper-active and back then people didn't understand what that meant. I also had vivid imagination which clearly set me apart from my family.\n\nThrough all the weirdness and the hard times, I actually was a very happy little kid, but my mother was angry and she hated the world...she especially hated men, and unfortunately for me resembled my father who had abused my mother and then left her with 5 children to take care of by herself.  BTW if you ever wondered why Black women have a problem with Black men, it's because Black men did this sort of thing a lot in the 60s, 70s, and 80s.\n\nSo since I resembled my wayward father who abused my mother and left her, my mother was angry all the time, and she would beat the males in the family for all kinds of crazy reasons and I got it the worst.\n\nShe never beat you to teach you a lesson, or to show you where you were wrong, she beat you as a way to vent her frustrations out on men and life in general.  You could tell this by the way she was sort of off in her own world while she was beating you.\n\nAlso, when I say she "beat" you, let me describe what I mean by that.  She never spanked you.  A spanking would have not have even been noticed that family. When I say she beat you, I mean she really beat you. A beating in my family was a whole, family experience.  I think this was the only activity that we all participated in together.\n\nEveryone would show up in the kitchen along with the person that was unfortunately picked to be beaten (which was always me).  That person had to strip down to their underwear, and then the family members all would grab an arm, and legs so that their was no way that the person could escape.  They would all hold you down, and then the mother would come out with an extension cord and she would beat you for 5 minutes, and if you didn't cry or scream she would beat you for 10 minutes, and then after that you got to sit in your locked room without food for the remainder of the day and night.   This was a standard ritual in my sick family.  It was years later that I found out that not all families behaved like this. I thought this was normal for a long time.\n\nAll of these beatings did not stop me from getting into trouble at all. All it taught me was that my mother was sick, and it also taught me how to endure pain.  I still shop-lifted as a child, and I still made every mistake that a child could make.  No amount of beatings could ever increase my grade point, or make me a better person. No amount of beatings could ever have made me a good citizen of Earth.  No amount of beatings could have ever taught me to be respectful, or a responsible member of society.\n\nBeating a child or a teen without love involved is an empty act.  Telling a child that they are bad or are a waste of genetic material does not make that child learn. That child will only learn to hate themselves and think that hey are bad.  What my mother did was not discipline, so I didn't learn anything of value from her.\n\nIf you ever wondered why so many black men and teens are so mean and act they they don't give a crap, you will find out that they were treated like me when they were youn
447340
It feels like shit. However, you have to understand that everything ahppens for a reason. Also, you just tell the child.children the truth and then let them decide for themselves what they want to do a bout the situation. Lots of times, parents try to sugarcoat the truth and it only makes the situation worst. Lastly, everyone must come to terms with the situation and handle it like adults. People are allowed to make mistakes. That's what makes us human.
394906
I think alot more people than you realize have felt this way. I have suffered form depression also and I have felt that way from time to time. Read my life story (check my questions about this). I have been in an abusive marriage for 12 years and I have not killed myself even though I have thought about it before. I won't do it either because I know that when i put my mind and spirit to it , i can be happy and accomplish anything that I want in life. I look at all the people that I would hurt and leave behind. Not only my wonderful little children but my family and friends who love me. Do you believe in God? have you tapped into your spiritual side? That is what helps me everyday. My brother killed himself 2 years ago and caused so much pain and suffering for every one of us. please don't do it. Continue with your therapist as I will and you can email me whenever you like. Please don't do it. love you, V.
171366
When I was 14 I saw a kid beating up a chubby kid.  His friends were laughing at the chubby kid(big boned  lol)and they were hitting him.  All of these kids were skinny.  So I just couldnt take it anymore and started to seperate them.  I pushed the other kids off of him and started to swing some punches but they ran.  The kid that was getting bullied thanked me and said they always beat me up.  I felt so angry at those kids.  3 months later I saw the chubby kid again and he said that those skinny kids never hit him or talk to him anymore.\n\nI felt so happy :)  I felt GOOD inside and I still feel good!\n\nEDIT: Oh sorry I didnt see  "cultural" in your post.  But this story still kinda relates to this. I guess....
223435
yes I was caught by my mother, of all people, she was not pleased I'm an Irish roman catholic convent girl I was not supposed to do things like that. Little did she know I have been masturbating since before I even knew what it was.
13423
I feel very sorry that your family is living this way.  I am putting some links here that should be able to give you a place to start.
301591
although i wasn't abused as a child, i had a terrible experience when i was a teenager, i was date raped. i understand what you're going through and i know it hurts alot but you need to find the strength to move on with your life. anger and hate won't take you anywhere, it'll just make you bitter and it won't give you peace. i know what i'm talking about cuz i too dwelled on with my past for the longest time and i almost ruined my life. \ndon't worry though, better days is just around the corner, you just have to hold on and work on to getting well again my friend.\ni'll pray for your recovery!\nGod speed\n\np.s.\ntry to read this book: your past does not define your future by bo sanchez (this book is published in the philippines). this book has really helped me alot.
373270
I didn't, I was an only child and instead of being treated like a princess (like I am!) I was more or less banished to my bedroom and slapped a lot-that's probably why I am such an insecure, immature attention seeker that I am now, but at least I treat my kids well x
320420
I lived a very sad life as a child.  I seen when my father hit my mom for no reasons, never took us out anywhere, and never showed me and my brothers any kind of love. I am not going to go into details because it would not fit.   I guess you can say I am a traumatized person from events that happened to me.  I grew up being scared and unsecured about myself.  I hated myself.  When I was eleven, my uncle who married my mom's sister, tried to rape me, but thanks to god I got away on time.  School helped to distract me from my problems at home until I got to high school,  in highschool I had really serious depression.  I did not want to go out with my friends.  I did not care what I wore to school.  I did not care what people thought about me.  I tried to kill myself about five times, but somebody always stopped me.  Thanks to god I found the love of my life who cares about me and makes me happy.  He knows about my childhood and does the possible things to help me forget my past.  Ever since I married him I have lived so happy,  he is very inspirational, he makes me feel like I am someone.  I feel so grateful to have him.  At this moment I regret all the things I tried to do to take my life and I realize that their is somebody outthere that can actually change your life into good.  If you really want specific details e-mail me.
48162
I am sorry to hear that. The same thing happened to me a long with physical and mental abuse. \n\nI sought counseling and I am well again. Not everyone is bad and not eveyrone will treat you like crap. \n\nHave you explained the situation to your partner?\nthat helps as well , believe me.
620958
i've gone through a lot of emotional issues from the time i was little. My father as an abusive ex-drunk and my mom has always been somewhat verbally abusive. How do i feel about it?I hate the fact that i was never really allowed to have a care free childhood and hate having memories of my dad beating me up or having to leave my house at night because my mom and dad had fought.
470265
I really, really, really, really, really, really, really dislike my stepfather.  In fact, I always wished he'd cheat on my mother so she'd leave the bastard.  Unfortunately, I am not so lucky.\n\nHe was very emotionally and verbally abusive.  And because of him, my mother and I have a very strained relationship.  She chose her husband over her daughter, and didn't protect me from the abuse.  But, oh well.  Life sucks sometimes, doesn't it?  My parents will be the ones to deal with the consequences of their actions.
213005
Abuse. The sad thing is I probably would have stayed in that relationship a lot longer. But, then it happened! I had my son. The day I had him I knew I would never allow him to be exposed to that kind of a life. I remember thinking to myself, "My husband may be good enough for me but, he will never be good enough for my son because he doesn't care to change." Thankfully, now I know he wasn't good enough for either of us. I left the day that I got out of the hospital and never returned. My son and I lived happily ever after.
594373
I have had 6 people in my hurt me very badly.  Because of their combined hurt and pain I find it very hard to trust anyone.  I aIso find it hard to believe that there are any good people in the world. I don't trust my child with anyone and I have taught her that the world is a big place filled with people that are looking to get one over on you.  I am a perfectionist wanting only the extremly best for my daughter.  I am also wayyyy over protective, but I am working on it.  I am also kinda a loner because I can't let people get close to me and know my true feelings about anything.  I also teach my daughter (and I know that I shouldn't) not to get close to people because once you do, they will leave you.\n\nMy father- went to prison when I was 7 years old.  Next time I saw him I was 22 years old, and he was in a coffin.  No I haven't gotten over it, still affects me some days.\n\n\n\nmy ex husband- walked out on daughter.  reminded me of what my father did to me, not over it 100%.  probably never will be.\n\nmy husband (married almost 5 years)- had an affair.  Nope, not over it yet.  I am not expecting me to be over it any time soon due to the fact that he willing did this and willing wanted to tear out family apart.  I filed for divorce, but he is trying to make things right.\n\nmy then best friend- for having an affair with my husband.  Lying to my face and then laughing about it behind my back (yeah I overheard a converstation about her laughing about having sex with my husband and how clueless and dumb I am about it).  I am still angry with her in sooo many ways, but you know it was her loss.  I am a great friend to the few people I do hodl close to my heart as friends.\n\nthe man that molested and raped me for years- This has affected me sexually, mentally, and physically.  I have gotten over the fact that it happened to me and my mother did nothing to stop it or protect me from him.  I know that he has an illness that makes him attracted to children, and that is his problem.  I tell anyone I know that might come in contact with him to be warned. \n\nmy mother- mentally and physically abusive to all 4 children.  I have only gotten over this one because I know that she lacked the skills or knowledge to provide anything better.
661904
Somebrowing said "Hey parents, babies still don't make themselves."  High five to you, woman! I feel very fortunate because when I grew up, chores and privileges were delegated by age, not gender. My brothers and I were all taught to be self-sufficient and responsible. Our parents both had careers and were excellent role models for us. I can do basic car maintenance and my brothers can cook and sew....and vice versa. \nWe all had the same curfews based on age and were expected to let our parents know where we were at all times. I think boys and girls can both have many privileges and a great deal of freedom if they act responsibly.
292131
no,i have a much better life than you, I am rich and have one sister and we have a maid. Also my parents don't believe in beating children. maybe you will one day be like me. hahahahahahahahahhahaahhah like that's ever going to happen.