i got married 1st march 2006 and i met him for the first time in 2003,march!he is an american and im iranian and because of my study , we can not live together!before we get married,he was too intrested about each and every thing !we used to love each other more i feel but now he seems too busy and when ever he sits for chatting or calling me he tells"i am scrificing my study and sleep for you"!he sometimes gets too kind but most of the time he tells that marraige sucks ! although my dad pays every thing for my life and he does not need to pay any thing for my life or study!i try to be sweet to him and his family !i have no problem with his family but i think he does not want me any more i have to ask if all american men are like this and im only expecting him too much?how can i make my relation stronger ?im sure he is loyal to me!no doubt about this part!and i love him madly!
199248
he sounds really stressed, try and not be so intense, Life should be made up of segments of things.. ie, friends, family, work, hobbies it sounds as if your life is just all about your relationship, make urself happier in other aspects and definatly calm down on the pleasing him and making ur relationship stronger, do things that'll make u a happier person, not just him.
242178
Marriage is an important step, but in America, the guy acts his best while he is dating, etc and his real self comes out after he gets married. If he yells at you and is fussy and mad now, what do you think will happen later? He will beat you to a pulp, girl! That isn't love. I love my neighbor's dog more than he loves you, because I would not yell at the dog. If you think you won't be happy, you probably won't be. Your dream of living in America can turn into a nightmare with the wrong guy. Keep looking and lose the jerk, imo.
216094
Please don't take this the wrong way, but why are you getting married?  Getting married should mean you've found the one person you don't want to wake up another day without.  It sounds like your heart isn't sure.  When you've found the right one to marry, he'll fulfill all your wants and needs. It sounds like you may not have found that 'one'.  I'm not saying your fiance isn't a great man, but if he doesn't have your whole heart, and mind, and all your passion, it seems hurtful to marry him.  I wish you the best, and pray that you'll put a lot of thought into your marriage since your action will affect a lot of people.
266805
he probably has some really heavy stuff on his mind right now. if you talked of getting married and starting a family, then he may just be in a place where he has to think. i would say that all you can do is honestly tell him how you feel, not angrily or accusitorily, and give him room.
43171
Maybe they are not upset that you got married maybe they are upset at possibly your age that you got married at or maybe they got upset at it his race. There are a lot of different facots or maybe they thing he is preventing you from doing something in your life that you should be doing. Some more detail might help us give you some more advice. Help shed the light. But your best bet is to really sit down with you parents alone and really ask them what the problem is and what it really bothers them and ask them to give your husband a chance. And also make sure you husband show them who he really is and why he realy deserves you as a wife.
362448
Oh, poor guy... Just listen to what you're saying: you're basically TRYING TO MAKE HIM marry you. With that kind of attitude, I don't think that guy will marry you without doubting himself whether this relationship will work. If you try to push him here, what else does he have to expect, once you're married and live together? He won't have a second of freedom to breathe - that's what you're telling him.\nDon't get frustrated. If he doesn't propose just yet - he's got a reason to do that. Either he is trying to make a surprise for you, or maybe, he is still trying to figure out how will this whole marriage thing work. If you think he's not really planning to propose - then why in the world do you insist on him to do that? If he does plan to propose and waits for the right moment, you're pushing that moment farther and farther away, because you're thinking about it all the time, and he can't propose to you by surprise if that's all you think about. Maybe, he's been carrying a ring in his pocket for weeks now. But when you two meet.... "Hi, honey, when are you going to propose to me?" -" Oh, yea, I was just going to do that..." Sweet surprise, isn't it? Give him time and space, let him get ready. It's a big step in both of your lives. And it's not every day you get married.\nBtw... Me and my gf have known each other for almost 3 years. And yet I still haven't proposed to her (even though we too talked about marriage many times). We are still figuring out each other, trying to understand the relationship better and soften out sharp egdes, which have a potential of ruining our relationship. Once we both think we've got to know each other well enough, then we'll start making plans of a wedding. Until then, we enjoy each others' company and get to know ourselves really well. One thing neither of us wants to happen is to find some really bad surprise about another person when we're already married. Way too many relationships brake up because they started too quickly. If people in those relationships would get to know each other before dating - maybe they'd never want to date another person and save tons of nerves and time.
255383
It is very clear that he has a short fuse. He doesnt handle responsibility at all and he feels like you dont do much. You should probably explain to him in a nice clear firm voice what you are feeling like and what you need from him and you may want to ask him if there is something that you are doing to make him act this way. To every action is a re-action. You both have to be willing to work at the relationship and you will always be working at it. All you can do is make sure you are doing everything you can to make him happy and make sure he really fully understands what your needs are from him. Then you go from there, if he doesnt listen to you and your doing everything he needs from you and he comtinues then you need to go to the next step which would be counseling. Basically if he is not willing to put forth any effort to make your life better and happier then you really do not have a marriage there. And then at that point you may want to play the hard role , if all else fails you can just act as though you dont need him. Start going and doing things on your own and with the kids and do everything else as far as the household but dont pay as much mind to him. ( Start moving on with your life) That may very well stop him in his tracks. Start doing to him what he does to you and if he really does love and care for you he will see it and just tell him "thats what you've been going through and you only done it to make him see it first person."
129655
do his parents live in lebanon? do you two plan to stay here if you get married? it's unlikely that his parents will change their minds. and i bet if you two marry he'll want to go back there, or at least have long visits there. it smells fishy to me. his parents are probably deep-rooted in their opinions; meeting you will be unlikely a mind-changing experience. be careful. it also depends on how long you've been dating. please tell me it's been over 2 yrs at least.
43807
You must be strong in your faith, but he may be steep in his religion.  If he hasn't proposed to you yet, I think you should travel abroad confident with the reality that he had time to do so, and didn't committ in that ultimate way.  Has he even brought that topic up?  Has he made a promise to you about it yet?  \n\nYou say its been 15 yrs; do you want another 15 more to go by, not being his wife?  I personally know of women who have had children with men, but not been married to them; both Christians and Muslimahs.  \n\nGo get your education girl.  Stop stressing.  Make that your goal for now.
292083
Your husband's behavior doesn't have anything to do with his nationality. Most Iranian mens are, in fact, very respectful toward their ladies.\nI have to admit that some Persian men do get a bit possessive (for lack of a better word), but what you describe is not at all the norm. \nIf I were you, I'd seek professional help.
676841
he need to do what yall wants to do. he cant please everybody else. he got to do what makes you and him happy. his parents will get over it, they will have to cause its his life. its no different than staying together, u just more commited to each other. he needs to think about it. he dont want to be mirsable trying to please them. they will evenually come around after yall get married, they got no chose.
147789
Probably because he truly cares for you!  Just because you're meeting his parents doesn't mean you two are getting married.  \n\nThat being said, if you are uncomfortable with the idea, you should tell him, and if he cares about you at all he should respect your feelings.
140334
Sweety if you aren't asking your husband this question then there is a big trust issue.  I would suggest contacting a US government agency esp. as there may be restrictions right now.\n\nQuestion to ask yourself - why doesn't he want to bring his Mom here?  Is she too frail?\n\nFollow your gut on this - and if you do decide to go, remember that a woman's place there is very different from in the US and you will be expected to follow local conventions or shame your husband.\n\nOne thing you didn't say is if your husband is Muslim - I think that would effect how he feels about it and his expectations of you.\n\nNo matter how kind or loving your husband is, now is not a really good time for US/Iranian relations so if you go precautions will be necessary for you and your husband.  \n\nYou sound newly married and if that is the case it would be natural for him to want you to meet his family and see where he grew up.  But only you know your relationship.  Did it happen too fast?  Does it seem too good to be true? Has he majorly changed how he treats you since you got married?  Those would all be warning signs.\n\nNo warnings sign there?  Then go for it, but take the State Department precautions as someone else reccomended - it would be the smart thing to do.
114669
As much as you seem to love this man I think you deserve a hell of alot better!  This man does not respect you as a wife or as a person.  He takes your feelings and stomps all over them.  He is being totally immature and sounds like a totally controlling man.  YOU deserve a man who is going to love you,respect your feelings, and wont run out like a spoiled child when u have a disagreement!  Temper Tantrums r for 3 year olds not grown men.  And the fact that he didnt even want to save the marriage and go to counseling says volumes about the kind of man he really is.  LET HIM GO!  Find a real man!  Life is way too short to be spending it in a loveless marriage.  I met my hubby in 10th grade in highschool and we have now been married 22 years!  My husband would never dream of treating me like this!  Cuz he knows Id kick his butt!  smile!  Get rid of him, let him run, let him take the cowards way out.  YOU told him u would file for divorce if he left again- and he left.  THAT alone says he doesnt care about the marriage.  I feel so badly for you, I know this has to be hurting you terribly and wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for u but unfortunately I cant.  But I do believe in you.  You r a strong woman.  YOU can do this and you will find a man who will truly love you I PROMISE!  Lose this guy and get yourself a real man!  Good luck to u
572138
This is how I feel about "getting" a man to marry you... I would be insulted if I felt as though a guy was marrying me out of pressure or because he feels obligated. Best thing to do is talk about what you want and go for it with someone that wants the same things.\n\nYou are young, and you have plenty of time. If you are sure that this is a guy you can spend your life with and you believe that he really does want the same things you want - stick around for a while, stop the pressuring, and see where things go. \n\nIf things don't work out, then next time, make sure that you have someone that wants the same out of life as you do, and within the same genera time frame, before you get too involved.
150461
You are both very fortunate in your happines.  Dont worry about what the world is doing.  Because it sounds like you BOTH are doing everything right.  Continue to love, respect, communicate and enjoy each other.  It takes 2 to make a marriage and a home.  I simply made a poor choice, and the problems erupted early on.\nSome of us dont get it right the first time.
278202
We have no way of knowing. It sounds like this is an arranged marriage.  Why don't you talk to your parents?  If that doesn't work talk to your Fiance.