i'm a 16-year-old girl and i've never been in a relationship before. i've never been kissed, etc. i've noticed, though, that i think in my past i have had crushes on some of my girl friends. like i'd think about them a lot during the day and when i did my stomach would knot.\nthere's this one girl who i know is straight but we're really good friends. she's been in my dreams a lot recently and i've even imagined kissing her. i also get a heightened sense whenever we hug or she looks me in the eye and stuff like that. is it possible to know if i'm bi or lesbian even if i've never been in a relationship?\nand if i am, any suggestions on how to meet girls in the same situation? cause all my friends are straight. plus, i go to an all-girls high school so supposedly there are lesbians there but i can never tell who..\nthanks.
209236
It depends, do the feelings such as the 'knot in your stomach', come from a curiosity to explore the beautiful familiarities of your bodies, or does it seem to stem from an emotional, love, reaction.\nI personally experienced my first same sex encounter when I was 19 years old. I am now 44. I had several since. I do not consider myself bisexual or homosexual. I consider myself straight, because I could not fall 'in love' with another woman. I couldn't see myself 'marrying' another woman either. What I did have were sensual experiences with women friends. Listen to your head, your heart. Are you merely appreciating this girl's beauty, and are fantasizing sharing intimacy or do your feelings run more deep.
140666
Thanks for the laugh! I like how you think. I never felt like it was a choice for me. I did not know I had the ability to feel romantic love for a girl until it happened out of the blue when I was 18.\n\nI felt so close with my best friend that I just naturally felt inside that I wanted to really love her for who she is. It just sprung up within myself on its own. I wasn't around gay people prior to that and nor did I ever think about it. Is that a choice? No.\n\nTo me it just means that I love the person as a soul for who they are and that my eyes do not care what shell (body) they come in. The heart is blind to what love looks like.
279329
I went through this same dilemma. I came out during my sophmore year of highschool. And there was the most drop dead gorgeous guy there. His name was Gary. Let me tell you. Anyways, I wanted to be with him very badly, but did not know how he felt. So I befriended him. We started hanging out, and stuff like that. Well two years went by and still nothing. Well in December of our senior year a bunch of us were out at a  party. His girlfriend was there and everything. (He had this girl for 3 years now) Well I went outside for a smoke, and he followed me outside and complimented me on my new glasses. Ok no big deal. Well we sat there and talked, smoked a few cigs and went back in. My best friend and I decided to get into the hottub. We had been sitting there for about a half hour or so when Gary came in. My best friend got out and went to go get a beer. I mentioned that my shoulder was buggin me from a fall I had taken earlier that week. So he reaches over and starts to rub it. Then we kissed, and ended up ditching the party and ****ed all night long lol. The next day he dumped his girl and him and I have been in a relationship ever since. So even the most straight acting guys may be gay. You just never know!
524840
This happened to me 17 years ago. I was in high school and there was this beautiful woman named Jennifer. Her mother was a teacher at our school and she was prom queen.. We use to stare at each other for days. One day she gave me a picture and wrote on the back. " I'm glad I finally found someone like me". She never told me what it meant :( . I think she wanted to tell me she was a lesbian but couldn't because of society. I was openly Lesbian in High School.. Now days have changed and maybe she will tell you. Try to mustard up the guts to ask her to do something with you. Then maybe you can get closer and be in the situation to ask her how she feels about lesbians...
424479
Lol, you really sound like you're dying inside. If you'd really like a tip, don't ask her first if she swings your way or not, that's more than just an unromantic question, that's a killer for whatever possible feelings that a straight girl may have on you. Express your feelings, classic way is giving gifts. Spend more time with her on common interests, see if she is also interested in speding time with you. Best  chance for you is to cultivate a great relationship, and not drop the "I like you real bad" bomb.\n\nBelieve me, if you spend a lot of time with her, she will know. Girls are very perceptive. Then slowly show her that you'er falling for her. Poetry works for me, but I'm not recommending it to you if you're not into sappy stuff, whatever rocks her world.\n\nAnd after all your wooing and pursuing (not agrressively), if she's scared of the relationship going "gay", she will drift away, if not, you can steal a kiss one moonlit night and check out what happens.\n\nSlow and cool mate, slow and cool.
499741
The important thing here is that this is all about you...........where does the object of your affections come into it other than that? You've given no info about her so there is no way of knowing if she might be attracted to you as another female or if you are confusing friendship with more because of what you seem to need from that friendship. If, for example, she is a married woman, or in a hetro relationship you could put the friendship at risk if you 'declare' your feelings. You don't mention ages...............you may have a 'crush' which may pass with time.
456930
Advice from a bisexual woman, don't ever make "girlfriends" with your girlfriends if you are interested in have a relationship (physical) with them.  Meet some women who are bi like yourself and make that your bi circle of friends.  Straight women do indeed get nervous around us because they aren't sure if we are checking them out or trying to have a 3 some with them.\n\nTry these sites\n\nhttp://bicupid.com\nhttp://adultfriendfinder.com\nhttp://groups.yahoo.com/NYBiSexualWomen/\nhttp://plentyoffish.com\n\nGood Luck
25734
just ask yourself do you like to look at other guys only or both guys and girls. if you think some guys are cute you could be bisexual and if thats the case it's ok just act normal and talk to a girl as if you are straight and tell her that you bi but don't put as a bad thing.
626480
hmm well you may just not feel comfortable around men yet you are still young and I know that I didn't really start to feel comfortable around guys till I was sixteen or so.....experimenting with girls is not going to be as akward because you have the same body parts and it's familiar......you need to take time lookat pictures of women and see how it makes you feel do the same with men ......you may be a lesbian and if so rock on who cares but don't put that label on yourself yet....you may also be Bi-sexual  just take time and see how your body reacts to photos first then feel it out for awhile don't experiment to much your still young and have plenty of time for that......\n\ngood luck\n\n<3
450481
The best thing is to go with the flow. But one caveat--that does not mean ignoring the feelings you are having about other women. I think, if you feel inclined, you should pursue it just a little--like maybe stop by a gay/lesbian bar. One thing about bi or lesbian relationships there is not all the sexual pressure that in the hetro thing. It is much more about emotions (though sex is very good). Girls will be able to relate to you on the level you are at. Just be honest about your feelings and see where it goes as far as connecting. \n\nFrom what you say it may be more that you are lesbian rather than bi. Although, it is possible you are not at all and have just had bad luck with guys.\n\nOpen your self up to the possibility--beyond fantasy dreaming.
391612
It is normal for both sexes to do this. You can love someone, but still check others out or wonder what it would be like to date them. If it never gets past that, then thats fine. If you love the person you are with and never cheat on them, the thoughts that cross your mind are meaningless and only makes you human. \n\nSometimes by thinking of other girls, you realize that you are happier with the person you are with and it enforces you current relationship.
676980
I'm not a guy but I am going to give you advice that might help.  I would say if that happened the person who is already openly gay, needs to be tender and take things slow.  They also need to let their friend know that they are understanding and accepting of the fact that if they want to stop things at any point they will respect them for that decision, I would think just in that case as you would if it was a male/female relationship, act on your feelings and if you aren't feeling it then back away just like you would any other relationship.  Good Luck!\n\nP.S.  As for what some people said about oh he must be BI or how can someone straight be attracted to a gay guy?  Well for that one, the same goes for women.  I was with men most of my life and then I met this girl (one girl) I started a relationship with her, was with her for almost 2 years, and we broke up now I have a boyfriend.  I wouldn't call myself a lesbian or bi, I tried something it didn't work out, so I went back to what I truely like.  As a lot of people say, noone is really BI, they are just confused~
178318
Okay, don't cry.  That is why they are boys.  I am sure you are a beautiful girl.  I had the same issue when I was your age in school. The boys would always go for the really thick girls that looked like they flunked 3 grades.  I used to wonder "what is wrong with me".  I found out that it wasn't me at all.  Some of these girls were fast, meaning they were easy.  They put out and what boy isn't going to be interested in some fast girl that can't say no.  I know it is hard and it was for me too.  Try not to pay it any mind.  I have seen these same girls and boys now since they are adults and my have they changed, and not in a good way.  Don't get down on yourself.  You WILL have a boyfriend but don't get hung up on this.  Just relax and don't think about it so much. I am sure if you are as pretty as you say you are that some boy probably already secretly admires you.  Hang in there, it won't be long before someone sweeps you off your feet.
321192
Hi angel. I am sorry that you are going through a tough time with your mate, and that your friend is also. \n\nI want to start by warning you that I am a lesbian, so I may be a bit biased on this matter. If you are looking for opinions from straight people, feel free to move on.\n\nIt sounds a lot like you are feeling real emotions and a connection with your friend. I can't tell without meeting her whether she is feeling the same way about you, but I would definitely suggest following your heart. Don't let society's ideas keep you from doing what your heart tells you is right.\n\nI would suggest not just coming out and saying "I want to be with you", or by kissing her. You really dont want to destroy the wonderful friendship that you have.\n\nAn example of a more subtle way, would be this: Next time you are talking together, and you are discussing your troubles with your mates, find a way to give her a hug, and hold the hug for a good bit longer than you need to. Then, pull back and look her in the eyes with tears in your own eyes, and a smile on your face, and just say. "Thanks, I needed that, and I love you." Then, hold her gaze with your own, and see what her reaction is.\n\nThis way, if she has no feelings for you in that way, she is free to consider it as simply an in-need-of-comfort hug, and she won't be insulted by the action. However, if she is feeling the same way, she shouldn't be able to resist the eye-to-eye look you will be giving her, and she will kiss you.\n\nI hope you have a wonderful experience with your friend, and whatever happens, please don't let your friendship suffer.
450753
dearie i went through the same thing with this group of girls in highschool. they were pretty, popular and they wer all the dream girl type with straight a+ gpa and every one wanted to be them. and i was pretty smart as well so i got put in the same class as them for 12th grade calc. and i had the same problem as you, around them i couldnt think of anything good to say my mind always drew a blank. and i got all miffed too. finally after a looong time i figured out that although i have no selfesteem probs and i know im pretty my mind had aldready put htese girls on a platform on my mind because of what other people said and i couldint act normmaly around them. but this was after i graduated so i never got to make friends, shame. but dont worry you arent lesbian or bi (not that it is bad)\nmy advice is to start thinking of them as normal people same as your friends
474907
Don't ever let anyone tell you who you should be friends with. If you are more comfortable being friends with girls, then be friends with girls. Whether you are homosexual or heterosexual, it shouldn't matter. There are many different men and women who feel more comfortable being friends with the opposite sex. \n\nIf you are heterosexual, the other guys are probably jealous because you have so many female followers. They either see it as you can date them easier, or that you are keeping the girls from dating them. Either way, it is not worth your time nor your efforts to deal with someone who is going to put you down because of your friends. \n\nIf you are trying to figure out your sexuality, then you should try talking to some homosexual peers, or a counselor. Sometimes just finding out if your feelings are shared by others can help. \n\nGood luck, and if you would like to talk more about this, please don't hesitate to e-mail me...I'm always here to help!
45016
how old are you?it might be a phase that you are going through or you might just like woman which that would make you a lesbian.most people have had fantasies or true experiences with the same sex but i think that is normal.you will know whats going on in time and so what if you like boobs they are beautiful and i am a woman too but i like the male gender they make me feel so much better you know what i mean