okay i have known my now boyfriend for three years and i have been tryin to get hin since then well me and finally got together and thing are goin great, well his ex suddenly pops up and says that she loves him and misses him and needs him back. well now he unsure of if he wants to stay with me or take her back. i dont know what to do. HELP!!
205526
be caring and supportive. Tell him how you feel about him. He has to make the choice but being there and not pushing can go in your favor.
234543
First off, he can't be your boyfriend if he is already with his girlfriend. Right now, you are the "other woman", so to speak.\n\nI would advise walking away from him and getting on with your life. IF his relationship is as bad as he says it is, and IF he LOVES you as much as he says he does, then knowing you are getting on with your life and showing no more interest in him, might very well help him to make a choice. I wouldn't give him any ultimatums either. Just tell him you that you are moving on. If he does end things to find you again, then he was speaking the truth to you. If he doesn't, then you know he was a player...was having his cake and eating it too.\n\nKeep your self-respect and dignity by walking away. By staying while he is still with his girlfriend, you are giving him everything he wants, and you are getting nothing for yourself, except a lot of pain. You are worth much more, you know...and if he doesn't come to you single and free, then believe me, there is some great guy out there that is going to give everything of himself to you alone and no one else, cos he WILL recognise your worth!
110731
You are not alone! If any one has gamble in love, then, at one time or another they too, were in this situation.  A few weeks ago I seen a segment on TV about a woman who actually makes her living helping others that have broke up from their mates. This is how devastating a breakup can be.  The first thing she did was make sure the person did not become a couch or bed potato.  She said you have to get back into the world as soon as possible.  I realize that you are more concerned about the daily thing, and seeing him all the time.  Just, get up every morning, always fix yourself up and dress 'hot'.  Lean on your friends when you have to see him or be in the same class with him. Everyone has that one friend that makes you laugh alot, you need her now more than ever. Continue your life as close to normal as possible. Scope out someone else that you might be interested in dating and start conversations with him. You may not be ready, but get ready. Your X will see that your life has not stopped because he walked out. And by moving forward and keeping a good appearance and attitude, he will definitely take notice. I don't if you want him back or not, but moving on to another relation ship always makes the other one feel rejected and if someone else wants you, so does Mr X. You got the power..now, GO GIRL!!!
66713
Been there, done that. It's funny how our minds and emotions can ruin a good thing. One thing that I hightly recomend is getting your self esteem up. It's tough, but once you are sure and proud of who you are, you don't loose that. As for getting your ex back. It may or may not happen. Give him his space now, thats is what he wants. If for some reason he also has a change of heart, you 2 can work things out then. But for now, respect his decision. Take care babe, im rooting for ya :)
497672
While it sounds like you once had a lasting relationship with this long term guy, it is obvious that things weren't working for him when he was close to you.  He left you because he didn't want to be with you, nothing more, nothing less.  \n\nAs a guy I know when we look to come back, we all come up with so many excuses as to why we left, how much we now know and understand, how foolish we are, and how much we miss you.  Bla, bla, bla!  \n\nBottom line is if he is smart, he knows how emotionally attached you are/were and is playing it in his favor because he is lonely or that his reason for leaving you (if it was for another girl) isn't working out in his favor (sex only takes a relationship so far). An instant fix is to get back with you until he recalls why he left, gets his booty call from you, or until something better comes along.  \n\nYou are safe with him, but because he left once, it would be a very safe bet he would take off again once his old feelings or someone hotter comes around.  Believe me, if you go back with him, it will happen again.  You would be wasting your time.  Move on!  Holiday season doesn't help with emotional stuff like this.  \n\nKeep in mind, HE LEFT YOU...you owe him nothing not even a second chance.  He should have thought about that when you were asking him to come back before you became involved again.  As a guy, it is tempting to want/take something you feel you can't have.  In a sick way, your sityation offers a challenge for him to see if he can get you back one more time (ego thing) and be better/win over the new guy.\n\nSounds to me like you are very young, (under 25) and got involved with someone new before you got closure with the old guy.  Just as the guy who left you, you are doing a disservice to your new "love" if you even consider being torn.  How would you feel if he was dragging an old flame into your relationship?  \n\nIt seems like you have a real issue of being alone.\n\nIf it was me, I would break up with both or stay with the new guy, but in the future, take 4-6 months off before you get emotionally involved with anyone else.  Today, neither one of them seem to be that special (seems to me like you are carrying emotions for both and have made things complicated for everyone).  If I was dating you and I found out I was only as important to you as a guy who by choice dumped you on your ass, I would be so checkling out!\n\nDo some healing/reading on divorce/relationship recovery and always remember and learn from what your prior boyfriend did to you.  Follow and recall his past and current actions not his words (that stuff is easy).
345505
If I had been in your situation, that would have bothered me terribly.  You just have to remember that your boyfriend wasn't with you (maybe he didn't even know you) when that happened.  He wasn't thinking about saving himself for you...maybe he thought SHE was the one.  But he's with you now, which is far more important.  Maybe you just want to be extra careful before you two sleep together...make sure he's the one, so you don't repeat his mistake.  But honestly, these days, finding THE one the first time is difficult and unlikely.  So maybe you should base your decision on whether you truly love him.  If you do, you'll have no regrets.  Love is something special and rare...even if/when it's gone, you'll remember how great it was and your decision won't seem like the wrong one.  Most importantly, cut yourself some slack, too...no one's perfect, not even your boyfriend.  Best of luck!
545977
He probably didn't want the akwardness of the situation....plus if he is your EX why would you stop to talk to him while you have your boyfriend with you, and he has his FIANCEE with him?  Its understandable if you guys still keep in touch but there is no need to cause drama with someone he is willing to Marry and possibly start a family with.  My advice would be to forget about him and move on, Im sure thats what your boyfriend and your Ex's Fiancee would like as well!  And if you see him again just smile and keep walking!
267443
First of all you need to tell your ex to get over himself! Hes the one that messed up therefore he shouldnt be trying to get back at you! And even if lets say you were the one to cheat first then oh well lifes tough and he needs to move on! You and the "new" guy shouldnt even pay attention to your ex. I mean he is your EX hence the word EX as in he doesnt matter anymore! You guys should just ignore him and be happy!!
676297
I would tell her the truth,. that there really isnt anything going on with you two and her friendship means to much for you two to let a guy inbetween you. Shes feeling insecure because she can see how easy it is for that guy to get another girlfriend in short time. Can you imaigine if he did secretly want to go out with you? Then what.\nI'd give your ex and her some space and not even get close to that situation untill he finally breaks it off with her...Believe me he will real soon.\nRemember shes only the rebound girl...aint that sad.shhhh dont remind her of that point tho....heheh
611970
have u ever heard someone say, "U DON'T KNOW WHAT U HAVE UNTIL IT'S GONE"?? If u were good to him, he will realize it OWN HIS OWN....he will soon think about u and the good thing he let go of....DO NOT GO AFTER HIM.....if he left u and he knows in his heart that he loves u, HE WILL COME back.....he may still have that emotional attachment but he is SUPPOSED to be with U!!! if in the end, he decides not to continue the relationship with u, then u should view it as HIS LOSS, NOT yours. U SHOULD REALIZE THAT IF HE WANTED U & HE LOVED U, HE WOULD BE WITH U & NOT WITH HIS EX!!! THINK ABOUT IT!!!
172887
Dear, west girl\n\nI really believe if he really wanted to be with you he would leave her and be with you. He might say he loves you but he don't cause if he did he would not be with her he would be with you all the time.Don't put yourself through all the hurt of taking him back all the time and then getting hurt again by him leaving you again. Its ok to still love him , but who have to go on and quit being hurt by someone who obviously hun does not love you and is going back and forth between two women. I hope you do the right thing hun
597072
I would confront him and ask him for the truth.  How long have you been together??  Do you trust him??  Do you love him enough to stay with him if it is true??  I think that the chances are if they are just friends, then they probably didnt.  Only they know and you need to trust what he says.....if you really love him.  If you dont trust him, then move on......I would also ask him why she was there in the first place.  Was it to make you jealous???
273588
Your ex is your ex for a reason. Remember that. It sounds like you have a good relationship with this other guy, I think you need to let your ex go and forget about anything that might take you back to him. You are not being fair to either guy by running to the other when you have problems. Instead, get on yahoo answers to help solve your problems...lol! just kidding. But seriously, you need to move on with this new guy. You might feel things for your ex and that is natural because you have a past together...but it's just that, a past. Time to look to the future and move on. Good luck!
100402
No. You need to let your girl handle it. Tell her you support her and that she is more than welcome to ask your help if she feels she needs it. My question to you though is what is your girl telling her ex? Is she making it known that she is seeing someone else and is happy in that relationship? Let your girl know that you have no problem stepping in to take care of the situation if her ex won't listen to her.
382808
well hun, before you ask us the questions you need to ask yourself some, Do you love him? Is he kind? Does he love you? Is he a good provider? and most importantly: DOES HE LOVE YOU? i personally think that you sound like you love this man, but i think you should give it time, see if he may be back fooling around with his ex. and another question, are you and his ex close? (you say she lives with you right?) well always remember this: GUYS COME AND GO, BUT FRIENDS WILL BE THERE FOREVER. good luck I hope you make the right choice, keep us posted plz!
261910
Perhaps he realizes that he's losing his control over you and you are interested in someone else.  Follow your heart, was the reason for the break up valid?  Is it still valid?  Was it silly and stupid?  If any of those apply then he is where he needs to be, a ex.   Guys are funny, they think that they don't want you, and don't, till they see you with someone else, like your life stops because you was with them.
666129
I would say it all depends on the situation. Since you all have so much history and two beautiful daughters, I would think it'd be better to get back together, but that may just be me. Don't do what people on here say, just take the advice and build off of it. Maybe he got scared for some reason and pulled out of the relationship because he didn't know what to do. If you love him and you know he loves you, then I would give it a second chance. If it was meant to be, it will be. I know that's probably the worst advice line I could give you, but I've found out that it is pretty true. No matter what happens, I promise you both will be okay. Good luck and follow your heart.\n~Grace