To make a long story short, my husband had a barely 6 month old daughter when we got together.The baby lived with him in his parents house.So of course the MIL & SIL took over the responsibility of taking care of baby.(The biological mother came to see baby only when she wanted.She gave my husband custody when baby was 8 months old!)I started doing alot to take care of baby.Had problems with SIL trying to get the baby to call HER mom.We moved into a place of our own.Baby (now 5) has always called me Mom.We didnt plan on it that way it just kind of happened.She doesn't know any different because her biological mother hasn't been around enough.We have 2 other children. I feel the same about all of them.MIL has gave me problems since day one.She is very childish.We do not talk.MIL treats 1st grandaughter better than the other 2.She calls me all kinds of names and talks about me all the time.(then she wonders why I don't let my daughters go for a visit w/o us)It is hard on us all.ADVICE?
203718
I appreciate you for taking care of the step daughter.  Do not worry about your mother-in-law or sister-in-law.  People always talk and wait for opportunities to find faults. Play your role as a mother to all your three kids and be happy.  You be a good mom as you have always been.  Remember your stepdaughter knows of no other mom other than you and to her you mean everything. I am sure your husband will understand this and try to make his mother understand. Good luck.
503220
Please address this issue with the parents.  find out how much interaction she gets with her parents and the newborn.  This could be a key in why her behavior is bossy and might indicate the parents attitude about the newborn.\n\nTry teaching the child how you do your work and incorporate her into the routines.  This might sound weird but she maight be trying to see where she fits in in the family and she might be trying to justify her existence and usefulness to the family.\n\nI have more but will need more information on the home life to be more complete in my answer.
37175
block their #s from your phone. write to your in laws (return reciept) and tell them point blank: this is MY husband NOT your little boy. you've done all the raising of MY HUSBAND that you will ever do. mother in law, if you have a husband then HE needs to provide for you. MY HUSBAND does not need to provide anything for you. that's YOUR husband's job. and to sis: do you have husband? no. then you are your PARENTS responibility. go get a life i got mine. and tell your husband to get a SPINE and use it. he chose you not his sister.
471030
sounds like a typical mother in law. Nothing you say or do will help. The best advice i can give would be to try not to let her get to you. I think it is a mother in laws job to make our lives miserable. If she doesnt think she is bothering you maybe that will stop her. So, just ignore it and dont stress on it,
297608
Here is arecent one.  My mother in law has been ranting and raving about throwing me a baby shower since January (Im due at the end of this month)  \n2 weeks ago she tells me that she doesnt have the money anymore and she would rather just take me to the store.  So I was dissapointed, but I had to deal with it.\nSo my sister in law ends up inviting some relatives over from my dads side of the family ( I am not even close with them, she just planned the event so that I would get some seriously needed gifts) She never met Danny's mom so she didnt even think of inviting her.  it was a small get together with under 10 people.. no big deal but a great gesture!\nSo long story short, the monster in law is not speaking to me now.  Mind you this was a surprise shower I didnt know until I walked in... not only is she not speaking to me but neither are his 2 sisters.  I could have the baby any second and I feel like this tension is not only unecessary but really hurt ful and mean. \nThere is my story!
198379
Do you know that 7 in 10 women do NOT get along with their mother-in-laws?\n\nI'm also one of that 7...it doesn't get easier but there are ways of dealing with them.\n\nGo buy "Toxic In-Laws" by Susan Forward, it helped me understand & deal my MIL & FIL better...they can't be "fixed" nor will they change.\n\nThere are also several other books out there dealing with this topic...just look up "Toxic Inlaws" on Amazon.
409186
Oh yay, parents.\n\nFact is, she has no bearing on what you and your hubby do in rearing your children (biological or not). You are the functional unit. Tell her that. If she doesn't respect it...reduce the time she is allowed to be around you two. Tell her that you love her, but you have to keep the best interests of your family at heart and she is meddling in business she shouldn't bother with. Tell her that she either stopps or you will have to disallow visits with the kiddos to keep their best interest at heart.\n\nGrandchildren are a privlidge not a right. \n\n\nShe is your momma and I know you love her. I hate it when this type of thing happens. She is jealous of something, maybe it is because she wants to monopolize your love or maybe she is just alone. Tell her you want to help her and have her be a major part of your life and your childrens life. Offer family visits to the psychologist. Grandparents are a blessing and I know I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't have had my Dad's Mom and Dad involved in my life. However, it was a healthy involvement...\n\nI am sorry you are stuck in the middle. That sucks so bad.
579129
How sad for you. You need to ask yourself if you and your unborn children are better off without her. If she doesn't show you any love or compassion, then she certainly won't show your children any, which will only hurt you more in the long run. Have you tried calling her and asking her why she would miss the opportunity to be in her grandchildrens lives? If she still refuses to talk to you, chalk it up to God's work and move on without her. What does your Dad have to say about all this? Maybe he could be your "rock" when it comes to dealing with Mom.\nGood Luck and remember you still have your Mother in Law to lean on and show you some support......I know because your story is the same as my daughter in laws and I love her as if she was my own.
365582
why don't you start with this:\n\nhttp://genealogy.about.com/cs/adoption/a/adoption_search.htm\n\nWe just found out my mother in law had a baby in the late 50's.  She was contacted by her son (who lives in Australia) and they've been corresponding ever since.  She was 'forced' to give up her child, and no one knew about him except my MIL and her siblings.  It was a very scary thing for my MIL to 'confess' to her family there was another child before them.  But it's a great weight off her shoulders.  She is happy to know her son had a good life and is not angry with her for giving him up.
554736
The fact that no other (immediate) family members have stepped up to take care of her does not mean that you should do it. Discuss this with your husband and let him know how you feel about it.\n\nAs a student, you are still learning and probably expect to take a full-time job when you graduate. How will you work outside the home if you are taking care of  your mother-in-law? Would your husband's family be willing to pay you for your time caring for their relative?\n\nThere are other things to take into consideration, but like I mentioned above, you need to discuss this with your husband and DON'T let anybody make you feel guilty for making yourself the most important priority right now.
297815
The best way is with honesty,integrity and respect.I don't know how you feel about her, respect wise, but you owe it to your son. She still is the mother of your child. You will be forever connected it that respect. \nThis what I would want/expect ( I have a 15 month old son too). \n1.I would want to know if my son and I had a place to stay\n2. Can I support myself and the baby without you, and if I can't would you help me?\n3. Will you continue to be in our sons life after the move?\n\nI know that it's much more complex, but that is the basics. Whatever you decide, please remember that you have a precious baby.\n\nIs it possible to work it out?\n\nDoes she know how you feel? Don't lead her in the dark. If she has to take care of that precious baby, she will need peace of mind so that she can concentrate all her energy on him. She needs the patience too. It's harder to be patient when you have so much to think about. Remember that whatever you do to her, you ultimately affect your son too.\n\nGive her the heads up so she can prepare her life  without you.\nTreat her with respect, even when you don't feel like it. She will probably be taking care of your son most of the time. The more civil you are to each other, the better for everyone.\n\nIf you cannot get along with her, just try to be civil.\n\nI hope that whatever choices/decisions you make, you have you son's best interest in the forefront.  He is afterall, the innocent one.\n\nBest Wishes.....
34802
My mother in law was the same way.  My husband didn't want to get involved because he said it was like a soap opera.  But then he did get involved and we no longer talk to his side of the family.\n\nYour husband needs to get involved for the sake of your marriage. She needs to tell you why she acts like that.  Most likely it's the same old thing of she feels like she is loosing a son.  Hopefully she would be willing to talk about it.  I started with a very polite letter but face to face would be better.  Work out a way that she can continue to be part of his life if that is what the problem is.  But your husband needs to support you!\n\nWe would e-mail and I showed my husband everything.  She would also yell at me on the phone and then tell him I was yelling at her.  He figured it out.  We went through counseling and she couldn't even be honest there.  So that is when we both said enough and don't have any communication with them anymore. You have to do what is best for your family.\n\nProof is always the best but your husband should trust you there and be willing to work out a solution.  But if your mother in law won't talk about it there isn't much you can do but avoid her.  But don't let it affect you. I ended up having major heath problems because of the stress.  It's her problem not yours!
134480
I'm planning a wedding and dealing with a mother-in-law... \n(and we're in a similar situation)\nIf you want more people to come offer to pay for them!  I konw traditionally it's the bride's family that pays for the reception and all that... but if you would really like to have a few more of your family members there then I'd say offer to pay and talk to them about it.  It's a lot to ask for an extra 25-30 people.  That can be thousands.  \n\nAlso, Your son is a man.  Let him handle it.  But if you decide to get involved don't do any passive-agressive stuff cause that can get between him and his fiancee.  I'm sure if he had a problem with it he'd speak up.\n\nMy future MIL is always blaming me when anything dealing with her son is to her disliking.  They are adults making decisions and plans together.  Speak with them about it and make sure that you view them as doing this together.\n\nAnd this is just my 'blah blah blahing' but please try to make sure that you're not expecting too much from your son's wedding.  It is his wedding and his fiancee's  wedding.
664734
I'm sorry to say this, but it's probably in your best interest to isolate her from the life you are trying to have with your wife.  She is being disrespectful to you and your wife now, and nothing is going to change her mind.  You also need to consider what she might say to your children if she does stay in the picture.  She obviously speaks her mind, so she may tell them that she never wanted you to have them, or that they are a burden..ect.  You can hope she'll change her mind when the baby comes, but I doubt it'll happen.  I would start keeping her at a distance now.\n\nI had my first baby at 25 (married for 3 years) My mom was 47.  She never once said anything about being too young, in fact she was on cloud nine to be a grandma!  You are in a loving stable relatinship with a woman you obviously love and care for...why wouldn't you want to have a family?  I say put her in her place, and good luck.
477161
Sometimes, blood is NOT thicker than water. Your are his wife, and now become #1, in his life, along with children, if you have any.\nGoodness, what going on, it's a wonder that you both have not just said\n"enough is enough", and shut them out of you lives. Your husband is in agreement with you.\nWhy not discuss it with you husband, and tell him how you feel.\nYou do have to be rude to his mother, and stup to her level!\nSure, they keep ringing......They want you both to help them now.....\nWhat were they thinking before...that you both would just forget, and forgive?\nAsk you husband, if you can politely say.....Thank you for the birthday wishes,\nhowever, we have a life of our own now. I am sorry, but our hands are tied,\nand we cannot help you in any way....something like that.....\nLet your husband speak to them also.  No way, you both have made a life, without them,and put up with all the abusive language from them....\nTell them to move into the property that was put in the daughters name.\nDo not feel guilty!!!!  and do not change your lives, not with that kind of in-laws.\nGo girl, and your husband.....do not put up with it....you both only live once, and its Your Life and Your husbands!!!!
612132
Hi!  I am sorry about the situation you are in.  I used to be a step-mom but now I am an adoptive mother.  When I married my daughters dad I automatically became step-mom.  I then adopted them (by the way, my husband had to adopt them with me even though he is the biological father).  My name is now on the girls birth certificates as if I was the one who gave birth to them.  The natural mother loses all rights- even her name on their legal birth certificates!  I hope you can give your step-mom a chance.  It'll be hard, I know.  I was lucky, my girls were very little and I'm the only mom that they know and love.  Is she mean to you or jealous of you?  Are you jealous of her relationship with your dad?   Please figure out why you don't like her and maybe the both of you can work it out.  You are not being disloyal to your mother if you like the step.  You didn't mention whether your mom is still in the picture.  I assume and hope she is still alive.  If not, I'm sorry.  Please, for your sake give step -mom a chance.  The more allies you have on your side the better.  Besides, I know you must love your dad and there could be no worse heartache than seeing the two women closest to him feeling that way.  See it in your heart to be happy for him.  There must be something worth liking about her if your dad picked her for his wife.
337865
I think that you and your husband need to sit down and come up with a plan together. You don't want to hurt her feeling but at the same time you don't want this to ruin your marriage.  Explain it in a way that it would be better for her if she got a place of her own. This might sound wrong but if all else fails point out bad parts about living with the three of you----for example---- never quiet cause of the kid, too little space for all of you, things like that make it look all rosey and nice to live on her own.  Sounds like she needs to get a life outside of your family.  That sounds mean but what i mean is she needs to have friends of her own age.  Your husband and you need to be on the same page. How does he feel about the situation? does he want her gone too? I wish you the best of luck it is a tough situation cause its his mother.  GOOD LUCK!!!!