so i have two really good friends. they are both cutters. and one has even attempted suiside a few time. they both have gotten caught before and had to deal with their parents. they both are thinking of cutting again. well the suidial one is already and the other one is basically on the edge. i know being a good friend i should tell on them b.c i know how bad this can get.. the only problem is if i tell on them. they'll tell on me bc i used to be like them and i used to cut and if my parents found out they would home school me take me to many shrinks. they would ground me until forever. make me break up with my current boyfriend and never trust me again. also my sister would feel like its her fault b.c i started when i found out she was sick with a horrible disease and already feels responsible for all of the bills and then would feel so horrible for this. my parents would feel like failurs. should i tell on them knowing it would mess up my life or can i still try to convince/help them
201990
I know this must be really hard for you. I understand what you are going through, and know that i can't help you fully through words, but i will try, for your friends' sake. Now cutting is a dangerous thing, if you rupture a blood vessel you're pretty much dead. You say that they are really good friends and they cut, and one is sucidal. Now, you also want to help them but you are afriad of ruining your personal life. Now let me ask you a question. Do you love your friends? If so you would do w/e it takes to keep them safe, even if it means sacraficing yourself? It's like...would you jump in front of a bullet for them? If so, tell someone you really trust. It doesn't necesarially have to be a parent, and after you tell them and want to help them, go to them and talk to them from your heart how much you care about them. And ask them please not to tell anyone about what you did. If they are good friends like you are then they won't. Please take my advice because i don't want to see anymore death...
490883
ok i know exactly how you must feel. I have done this exact same thing. I used to cut and eventually felt so bad i told my friends and they saved my life basically. but then i went through a rough time during my senior year in high school and started doing my own pericings. I did two of them. And omg did they get infected! tell your friend that if she wants her ears peirced to get it done profesionally. this could be a new way of her hurting herself. i mean 3 is kinda excessive. just sit her down and express your concern hopefully she will listen. besides the infections that come with at home pirecings are awful and can be dangerous. *also if she is pericing cartalige she could over do it and make it break. i did this and now the top part of my left ear droops its embarassing as hell*
10957
I used to be a cutter.  I would do it becuase I would have so much emotional pain, cutting myself would hurt physically so it would take my mind of my emotional problems, instead I could focus on the physical pain.  \n\nI stopped becuase I went to a psychiatrist and got medication for depression.  That helped A LOT!!!\n\nAs far as what to say to your friend... my friends never knew what to say to me (my best friend talks about it with me a lot now that I don't do it anymore).  I actually scared them a lot.  Maybe just let your friend know that it scares you when they hurt themselves.  Then try to get them to go get help for it.  You can talk about the underlying issues, but if they are at the point of cutting then unfortunately they most likely need professional help.  That is a sign of a psychological disorder.\n\nAt work I have seen several kids that do this.  They give reasons for doing it anywhere from my reason to wanting to see what it would do, to wanting to kill themselves and just "hoping i would cut deep enough".  \n\nSo like i said, talk to your friend.  Try to find the underlying issue, and get them help.  Be there for them.  Good luck.
284933
You souldn't cut ur self. it's gonna make something bad happen or something. I'm sorry ur parents are decorced, but don't get urself in the middle of it. it's not like it's ur fault!
663593
You have to sit down with your friend and have a long serious talk with her and tell her how much your nervous for her because of what she is doing and how she can get hurt from all her negative actions.You shouldn't try to make her feel guilty by saying you'll start cutting again because that won't help and it won't persuade her because  she'll just say she has the right to get high as much as you do cutting.Let her know that if she doesn't get rid of her habbits that you don't feel comfortable with her having she could lose you as a friend.Don't get mad at her or yell be calm and be the best possible friend that you can and motivate her into becoming something better and hopefully she will reconsider.If she doesn't listen to you,you must tell an adult you trust and they can take it from there.
119065
The fact that you feel bad tells me that you are a decent person,but if it's been four years and they aren't even talking,you did nothing wrong.With age comes wisdom,as a53yr old man I say let sleeping dogs lie.Now I know some people would disagree with me and I respect that,but I can't think of one good reason to tell.Go with your heart,do whats best for you and your friend,whatever you decide,good luck.
153824
I think you need new friends Genler . Sounds to me,  by all your questions, that your friends are sick individuals, do you live near a mental hospital or something? You need to get away from that place & your so called friends before you turn out to be a sick, inbreeding, mental,  pedophile, unless you already have. Your friend "A" has many issues probably dating back to childhood, this uncle "V" probably molested her as a child regardless she needs counseling & a straight jacket . Are you asking this to make sure other people feel the same way you do to prove to yourself you are sane? I think that is what it is. You need reassurance that you are not a mental water head like your friends.Here is alittle advice that I always practice to keep myself out of trouble or bad situations. When you hear a story or a situation, or a offer whatever your first instinct is go with it. You 1st instinct is always the best. You don't want to re think a situation, go with a different thought & then kick yourself in the A$$ later for not following your heart good luck
547377
aww yeah my best friend brooke... we help each other through some pretty hard times... she is suicidal and i am a cutter and we are the only people who can help each other,brooke really helped me get over my self mutilation, and she is not suicidal anymore. so despite our own problems... we always help eachother.
76546
You my dear need some serious help in counceling. How old are you? I started cutting at 13. It got way worse. Depressionn, not fitting in with my peers, parents expectations, grades and performence. I was 16 my first suicide attempt. Then again at 22, and did self mutilation to a degree of hospitalization that I hid from my family at 28. I got counceling, and am better now at 31. Depression is an ugly monster. Hiding it under long sleeves won't save you. Please get some help. If your parents wouldn't understand...try talking to a school councelor, or a priest. Even an older relative, aunt, cousin, sibling? You need to talk through your issues honey, or they will get worse till they consume everything about you.
208087
I am currently dealing with the same situation. I have found that by giving to much you leave nothing for yourself. People will use you if you allow yourself to be used. My problems are mostly from family. I have come to the realization that if i wouldnt let a stranger treat me poorly why should i allow my family to do the same. Eight months ago i made a list of toxic people in my life and have started the ellimination process. It is very hard, i wont kid you. But, It has to be done. You are already to considerate or you wouldnt have such a question in the first place. Write a list of people that make you feel this way and next to each name write the pros and cons of your relationship with them. Evaluate and treat accordingly. Your life is to precious and short and you deserve better. We as a society have been taught to give but we have never been taught to receive graciuosly. We dont know how to accept compliments. Writing off friends and family is very difficult but you are allowed to feel good any time you want without regret or remorse. Its more exhausting being nice than being honest and straight forward. As with any change you have to do it slowly. You will feel very bad for a time but keep your long term goal in sight and do not share your plan with anyone or they may try to convince you not to write someone off. You have to allow yourslef to be at peace with your decisions. It will be the loss of a friend or family , like a death. You must go through the mourning process. Be good to your soul and it will reward you. Stay focused and you will allow you to reward yourself with a healthy life full of wonderful people. Good luck to you and yours.\n\n\nJoe
539103
i totally sympathise with you and know how you feel...at the age of 14 i was diagnosed with aneroxia, depression and i sef-harmed (i still have some scars now...3 years later)- i was in denial about all these things but then one day i cracked and realised i needed help....i sat down with my parents and explained EVERYTHING....about what i was doing to my body....how i was feeling inside....and how i came close to taking a overdose.....i was referred to a psychiatrist and was admitted in to a psychiatric hospital for 6 months...im not trying to scare you and tell you thats where your going to end up because mine weren't just about the self-harming but what i will say is that you need to sit down with your parents..tell them not to speak because there is something you need to get of your chest and just get them to listen.....as for you saying that your mum was angry when she saw your cuts...it isnt an anger for example....if you damaged someones property....but an anger that is brought on by being worried, scared, feel like they cant help e.t.c...and probably why you never went to them for help...once your parents get an idea (i wont so understand because no one can ever understand unless they are going through it or has been through it) of what your feeling then get them to take the right steps forward to getting you psychiatric help and counselling....but DONT keep this to yourself.....im not saying its a 2 minute job to fix because even after i came out of hospital after being in there for 6 months i carried on self-harming but i still got to see a cousellor and psychiatrist twice a week.....now 3 years later i no longer self-harm but carry the scars with me.....i wish you much luck
146527
Well, what I do when my friends do this to me, I let them know it. My ULTIMATE best friend in the world has done this to me, many times. Basically, all I do is tell her that I'm kind of upset how we seem like we are drifting apart, then I comfort her by saying that if something is bugging her she can tell me. You have to be the one  to do something, she won't realize that she is hurting you. I wish you the best of luck.
334924
I dont think that is a very good friend. If you choose 2 stay friends with her make sure you dont tell her anything you would want everyone else 2 know as well.Also I am sure she wouldn't want you 2 do that 2 her. Tell her how you feel or show her how it would feel by doing it 2 her.
324816
How can hurting yourself be the answer to anything? MY daughter did that for a while because her friends kept bring their problems to her and no teenager can handle another teens problems. I suggest you try to find an adult who can help you or maybe a professional. If you can't afford one they have places that don't cost you anything. I hope you don't cut yourself because you don't really want to hurt yourself I know it's a way of getting the pain out but there are other ways like I said talk to someone who can really help you with your problems, maybe you could talk to God and he can help you through your rough times. I wish you luck with what ever you do.
209854
first of all, i know people are going to answer MUCH differently than me, but I've been through this (more than once) with friends.\na BEST or REALLY GOOD friend, would keep the secret.  thats right.  dont blab.  if it bothers you, you need to talk to her.  ask her if you can help.  most people just do it for attention, others truly NEED the pain to stop thinking of what bothers them every day.  Some people think that theyre 'rebelling'\nAnd yes, she will hate you for telling.  Even if she does want attention, she'll still hate you.  kiss the friendship byebye. \nConfront her.  tell her it bugs you.  it scares you.  just tell her how you feel.  say that you knew that it would be better to talk to her about it than someone else.  they'll like to hear that.  it shows that they can trust you.  believe it or not, they smiled (inside) even if just for a split second.  \nDont get mad.  Don't say 'If you dont stop, i cant/wont be your friend!'  this, is also a good way to throw away a friendship.  \nDont push it.  If they say they dont want to talk about it.  Dont ask anymore.  drop it.  completely.  BUT...make sure to say that THEY can talk to YOU whenever they feel the need.  this shows trust.\n\nI hope i've helped.  But truly, don't tell.  Even if it doesnt ruin a friendship, it makes it very very awkward.  You wont be 'best' friends anymore.\n\nSORRY IF I WAS TOO BLUNT! :)
503118
Yes you do need serious help! How can you slip your wrists????\nWe have all got problems in this life,....cutting ourselves dpesnt help us at ALL!!!!!\nFirst thing you should do is not go near you dads friend for  while and if he asks you anything just say that you didnt encourage her to do it ( which I guess is the truth..RIGHT?????)\nSecond you and your friend should stop 'CARVING' yourselves!!\nIf you have a prblem talk to your parents but if you're not the 'italktomyparents' type of person then talk to your friend!! (seeing as you both have a special friend connection ..COZ YOU CUT YOURSELVES TOGETHER!!!!!!). You could tell your friend your problems and she could tell you hers...be open and make sure the conversation between you two STAY between you two!.\nOh and one last thing.........I am a human being so I dont have the power to change people.........(if I could I would change soooooo many! ) so I cant change you if cutting yourself helps you live then do it...BUT NO TO DEEP!! AND NOT TO MUCH!!\n\nI have to confess I have also cut myself varios times! CALL ME EMO IF YOU WANT!! xDD
110643
with all the great advise everyone is giving Please tell your mom but tell your mom that your sister felt better comming to you and ask your mom if you should tell your sister something that you may have not have thought of. I know the feeling of going to mom about this but mom needs to know and untell your sister feels better about it all you should confide in mom first with this. Even though it is comming from mom your sister feel better talking with you. Feel proud of this you have the best relationship with your sister and hold onto it while you can.