She's young, determined, highly principled and industrious - but the constantly varying needs which seem to be driven entirely by emotions are more than I can cope with.  Need to keep her but have to find a way out of this mess!
211538
Talk to her...tell her how much you value her as a worker, and all the reasons why you do; but explain that it would be helpful if she adopted a little bit more of a professional behavior on the emotional part. Ask her to practice at expressing her problems in a reasoned, unemotional way; and to consider that there are other people working with her who can not keep trying to adjust to her varying needs. \nGood luck.
101208
I struggle with this too.  You keep on keeping on.  You surround yourself with people who are supportive of you.  And you do fun stuff in between to tie you over.  Keep your chin up and remember to let out some emotion through exercise.
189530
unfortuantely she won't grow up because nobody makes her- you "enable" her (I hate touchy feelie psycotherapy words) to do as she sees fit by not making her face reality and responsibility. Tell her that when the lease is up, she's gone- she HAS to fend for herself- suggest that since she has so much money to spend at bar, maybe they'll let her move in there- also, talk with Dad, and try to make sure he won't fold and let her in to mooch more, if she can just mooch, she'll never learn to be responsible for herself.\n I know it seems "mean" and "unkind" etc., but her being shielded from reality is much meaner and more unfair to her in the long run- tell her you love her, and BECAUSE of that, the free ride is over- good luck, and grit your teeth- it won't be easy.
655777
i think she needs to get out a bit more often!
79614
Open your eyes young one, realize that this isn't healthy for you emotionally or mentally.  Walk away while you can, because the longer you're in it, the harder it gets.  Be strong and think about what you want for yourself---NO DRAMA!
510805
sounds like she either has very low self esteem, or she is being rebellious for some reason.\n\nnot really easy to convince her that she is ruining her life. she'll have to figure it out on her own. sometimes we need to make mistakes in order to learn from mistakes.
563521
I'm going through the same thing.  Stay strong.  Stick with your gut feel.  She very well may be a sociopath but that's entirely up to her to get professional help.  My therapist outright told my wife to get help.  My wife insists there's nothing wrong with her.
256699
If she stays with him, she is not only hurting herself but him as well. He may be a great person but eventually she will come to resent him because he is not "the one". She is also keeping him from finding someone that really loves him and someone he has a spark with. I hope that she finds what she is looking for. I have also been one that picks the ones that don't want to commit. I wish her luck and hope whatever she decides to do it is the right choice for her!
424572
I absolutely do that.  I also take everything personally from her.  I can't seem to keep the balance and perspective that I have with everyone else.  The only option I can think of is to try and distance myself but that seems so strange.  You like them because of the emotions they create.  It gets better over time but as long as I care, it is hard to stay truly focused on them and be totally supportive.
447841
It might take some tough love.  Unfortunately many people in her situation develop a sort of addiction to the attention her problems and suffering attract.  Unless you can find a way to break the pattern, they will continue to use their situation to try and manipulate everyone around them.  \n\nYou should consider taking a tough love stance with her and tell her she has to get her life together if she wants you to have a normal relationship with you.  Refuse to be manipulated and allow her to create crisis after crisis to which she wants you to respond.\n\nI can only make some educated guesses for you, so just take it as some things for you to consider.
311351
Try to find something positive you like about her and focus more on that than her faults. You recognise that she is very 'needy' and she is probably afraid that you guys would abandon her. Your best bet is to always tell her that she is a wonderful person. Try to get her involved sometimes in some events to make her feel useful. For example, if you are organising a party, make her responsible for the food or decorations, anything to keep her busy and wanted.\nSoon she would realise you are not a threat for her son's affection.
237941
Aww, this reminds me of My friend Lauren and I. We got together, she loved me, I love her, but outside pressures made it very hard for me to cope with Us. I understand where  your girl is coming from and I also understand where you are coming from. You can't make someone stay if they don't want to. And you shouldn't try if you see that they aren't happy. Especially if it starts to make you unhappy. I would suggest letting her do what she wants. Let her know that you care for her and want her to be happy and that you are there for her but draw the line somewhere. Let her know that she does hurt your feelings by doing these things and let her know that she can't be so flippant and careless. Lauren and I are good friends now and sometimes I look at her and feel a pang, but I know that we would have both been miserable if we stayed together with all the problems we were having. Sometimes its better to let something go to keep a friendship than to draw out a love affair and have it end in hatred...Oh yeah, I think that she should take some time to figure herself out without any outside influences from you or other guys or girls. The hardest thing to do is to truly know and love yourself. You are always your own worst critic....Good Luck!
196909
I can imagine how complicate it is to have such a person in your environment. Sometime it could be a member of your family, your spouse, and then it is much more complicate. \n\nIf you have such a person in your workplace, just remember one important thing; DO NOT feel sorry. \n\nHe/she is not so poor and weak and self-victimizing persons survive in this world very well. They use their "victim position" to manipulate with people, to emotionally and morally blackmail them, what is very exhausting. People in their surrounding usually feel confused, guilty, exhausted. They feel like they cannot help them, cannot do or say the right thing...\n\nDon't let him/her drag you in his/her vicious circle. If you find yourself feel sorry or sad, stop it. Don't empathize and don't try to help or offer the solution. Try to concentrate on your work and let her know it from the very beginning of your working day. If she starts to talk about problems, listen to her politely to some extend, then show her that you "accept" and "understand" what she told you and then either change the subject or tell her that now you have to concentrate on your duties. You can eventually tell her that she is the one who has to resolve her problems and that you cannot help her, but don't let yourself be a part of her problems. And don't be surprised if she reacts on it as if you are not empathic enough, you don't understand her or something like that. This is a usual strategy to make you feel guilty, because SOMEBODY HAS TO BE GUILTY, for her. Stay out and remember that it is not easy. If nothing helps, talk with your superior to eventually move you to another office.\n\nadditional details:\nYou obviously know him very well. You said that those persons are like chameleons and are very good in that. That is exactly the characteristic of manipulator. Don't blame yourself for feeling sorry and offer a support. It is normal human reaction and every normal person would do that. But if you feel permanently guilty and exhausted in communication with him, stop it. YOUR guilty feelings and exhausting are sure signs that you have a problem with manipulator. NOBODY HAS A RIGHT TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE THAT.
625675
she probably REALLY doesnt get everything she wants, but it probably does SEEM that way to you... if she drives you crazy, it might be because she is trying so hard  to be like you... you are her role model.....\n\nthe big thing to remember is that you are almost twice her age... she still needs alot of attention from you, mom and dad and family, whereas you probably seek most of the attention you need from friends and from family too....\nusually when you feel like a younger sibling is spoiled or bratty you really feel like they get all the attention and your left to your own devices...so to speak...\nthink about it...... and think about this too..... ask yourself, what can I do  to make things better? even though you might wanna knock her socks off sometimes, when you see her being bratty ask yourself why is she doing this...what does she need? who does she need it from.... chances are she is looking for attention, wanting to be noticed, admired, wanting feedback telling her that she is ok....  just like her big sister..  :)  \nthen ask yourself, what can i do to help her get what she needs?\nis she is just being bratty to spite you, then you need to ask yourself why does she want to do that.. what have you said, or done to make her feel like she has to do that....  \nif you cant see where you had anything to do with her behavior, then its time to go talk to mom.....\ntell mom your thoughts and observations, and see if mom sees what you see... then mom will probably handle the situation, or tell you what you arent seeing....\njust remember first and foremost.... bratty kids are usually just showing out because they need attention that they dont feel like they are getting.... and being only 9 she doesnt know how to say what she needs..... which only adds to her frustration.... \ntry it and see what happens..
89671
Don't worry about her. Check up on her every now and then, but alcoholism is a really strong addiction. She will have to hit rock bottom before she deals with it.
58603
Maybe she is losing interest or has other obligations she needs to fulfill and is concentrating on them!
415900
I am in that situation everyday. I have to work with someone that absolutely annoys me and is so difficult to work with. Because I am a mature individual and I want to display professionalism, I have to put my grievances aside in order to get the job at hand done.