I'm 25, had boyfriends, I went through a painful break up 9 months ago...I'm far from ugly and stupid but I just dont have any luck with men...most of my friends are married at this age. I have a nice job, friends but I'm afraid I'll never find my special one:( I recently broke up with a guy who was nice to me but I just didnt feel any spark and I do want more...is it okay not to settle for less? is it okay to be single? my love life sucks. I would really appreciate honest opinions on being single
207371
Don't be with someone because your friends are married, or your relatives are married or the what not.  Be with someone because you LOVE them and want to be with them.  If you don't feel that way about a person, you're better off not being with them so that they don't get hurt in the long term.  \n\nAs a chronically single person, I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with not being with someone.  I've had probably what seems, at least to me, the worst luck in the universe, and if it isn't, then I'd hate to meet the person who has had worse.  I am very unsure that I will find my soulmate some days.  \n\nI'd like to tell you that you're just looking in the wrong place or that some day you'll just get completely and totally swept off your feed.  I wish that for you, as I wish that for me, but nothing is certain in this world.  \n\nIt is your life.  You should do what you think makes you happy.  If you want to take a break from dating, do it.  There's nothing wrong with showing up alone to places or just being happy with your life as it is.  There's no shame in realizing that a relationship with a guy ain't gonna make you happy in the long term.  \n\nBecause, if you do find your true love, he will give you that spark.  \n\nBest of luck and best of wishes.
322142
Maybe you should just be single for a little while!  From what you are saying, you just don't want to settle...there's nothing wrong with that!  Nobody should settle!\n\nTake time off of the relationship to just get your mind straight!  Have a little fun!\n\nYou don't have to be in a relationship to feel whole!  \n\nIt's crazy...you sound a lot like me, except I'm 22!  I'm older than that in my mind though!\n\nGood luck to you!  You can get ahold of me through messenger if you want to talk!
672687
b/c u were once content/comfortable with ur situation and u don't like change.  but that's part of life, if u don't take that chance then u will never know the outcome.  plus ur heartbroken and it scares u b/c u don't want to go through it again, and u're thinking 2 urself is this going to happen again?! U said u've never been single, there's a first time for everything.  word of advice --- quit looking for someone (enjoy time to urself/w/friends), let that someone find u. cause sometimes if ur not looking 4 love its looking for u. and don't be so negative @ moving on. good luck
498913
It's totally normal. I just realized last night (one-year post break up) that I spent nearly 5 years with a man who never loved me. Wow, did that ever change the way I look at the world. Who knew I could have been so STUPID, let alone for so long? Sheesh, part of my identity is being the smart, nerdy, goody two shoes, and I really don't know what I am if this isn't what I really am. Time to reinvent myself, I guess? \n\nHopefully, it is not circumstances such as this that have led to your revelations. Don't let it get to you. Look to the bright side and take the opportunity to find out who you are, and who you want to become. \n\nI was just watching a clip on CNN today that was discussing young married couples in Hollywood, and why they fail even after it seems like they were going to make it. Turns out your brain does some major changes during the ages of 20-25 (for women, I bet for men that change doesn't happen until like, 39 or something, given their slower rate of maturity, hehehehe) and that if you are married after 25, the chances of success/happiness are much higher. Now, interpreting this to a non-relationship type situation would lead me to believe that you can't really know yourself until about the same time. Experiences you have between now and then could be the most important ones in shaping who you eventually, um, turn out to be. So live life, have fun, and don't do anything you'll regret (more than once!)\n\nGood luck!
286888
Speaking as one that was in a 25 year marriage that failed, when it first happened , the LAST thing I wanted was another relationship right then. I went out with several ladies, and I really liked some of them, but NO realtionship! Years later, I think I'm now emotionally ready for one. He probably cares a great deal for you, and in time, I see a future there possibly, but not now for sure. Just be patient, love him, and you just might get the man of your dreams. Good Luck!!
304622
First of all,let me say this.In all the world their are millions of men out there,I am sure you have not met them all yet.Next thing,you are evidently not with your soul mate yet seeing that you broke up,that's not him,not the right one yet.When you meet that special someone,you nor he will even think about breaking up.Your life will be so wonderful you will feel joy from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.Remember when  your relation-ship starts to sink,let it sink and go out for a new boat.Don't try to force something that isn't going to work. And always,I mean always,in your life when a relationship or anything else doesn't work out for you,be extremely happy because what you are not seeing on this day is that there is always something better down the road waiting for you.Be excited because you haven't met that person yet and wonder who that person will be. Fate can be good to you if you keep your head up and keep those eyes and ears open. You will always find that true love when you are not looking.True Love will find you.Happens everytime.Now get up with that sad self of yours and fix your face,put on those nice clothes you have,go out to greet the wonderful world full of men just waiting on you to arrive in their world. There is someone out there that you haven't met yet who feels just like you.You will never meet this person sitting home and feeling sorry for yourself. And by the way,put a great big smile on your face.Your smile and happy hearted attitude will attract that special someone that will be eager to come into your life.No more whining and crying,go get dressed and get out there.Be Happy that you are rid of your (Nightmare),get prepared to meet the man of your dreams.
499776
Dude, I had one girlfriend in high school that lasted two months.  It took me a while to catch up on learning but now I can proudly say that I need more than two hands to count the partners I've had, and I'm 33.  The majority of people I were with were in a relationship with me for more than a year, so it's not like I constantly slept around.  At 28 years old I got tired of being a nice guy and decided to only make myself happy instead of always putting others ahead, and it has paid off well.  You still have to think with your brain more than your male appendage though.\n\nEven now I can still go to the clubs hanging out with my girlfriend (been together over a year), and I know the married couples that don't look too happy are envying me.  Just don't get married early and ruin it.  think of it this way too.  When you're in high school you really only connect with those in your school.  When you're in college the number of available women expands.  Then when you're in the real world it's a meat market.\n\nI can't say us males don't measure another guy in the number of women that he's conquered, but just play it safe and you won't have to hear from those same males on how many child support payments they make or avoid.
75988
I totally understand what you are going through. I've found that the best medicine is just get extremely busy doing what you like doing, spoil yourself, take more time for YOU. Deciding that you do not have to have a boyfriend, but keeping your heart open if a wonderful man just happens to walk into your life soon! I went through what you are going through a year ago, and now I am married to my best friend and the most wonderful mate I could ever have asked for, and we are truly in love!!! So never give up on your dreams to find the right mate, and meanwhile just enjoy life!!!                                                  You will find that the perfect mate was waiting around the corner for you. So just love yourself and love others and be the best person you can be right now. Have fun, life is what you make of it!
550463
I am not asexual, but have not found that special girl yet, have been single for alittle over 5 years and I don't mind.  I would rather be single and happy than in a relationship and miserable.  So, I am with you on this, I am not looking for my special one anymore.  I shy away from people who want relationships.
150807
Hmm it's hard to answer why a single person is single. I'm single too and I'm just as frustrated that I can't find someone and be happy like the rest of my friends. I think what it comes down to though, is you need to be happy with yourself first. When you're not, people will see that and it becomes a turn off or people become afraid of dealing it. Just from reading your question, you sound angry at the world. But really, you're the one that has to make it happen. Work on yourself first and I'm sure that person will find you, notice you. Good luck.
481680
If you are not ready & you recognize that - than don't stress yourself.  Yes you are going to miss the comfort of what it's like to have someone to hold and hug and all that other stuff that couples do but for now just keep it simple and stay focused on yourself and what it is you need.\n\nIt took me 5 years to get over my ex.  I didn't close myself off from dating completely.  I still saw guys occasionally and even dated a few for a bit, but I just wasn't ready for a serious relationship as I was still too hurt & angry.  Believe it or not, I even stopped having sex for those 5 years.  Not to punish myself but I just learned that sex is something special between 2 people who love each other that I couldn't succumb to meaningless sex with someone I didn't love and respect.  I sure missed having someone to love especially when you are at home alone on a Friday or Saturday night and all your girlfriends are busy with their boyfriends/husbands.  Honestly, my house became quite immaculatly clean.\n\nI'm not saying you need to spend your life in solitude for the next couple of years, just give yourself a break for awhile.  Develop some other interests, hobbies or sports.  I had young children, so that prevented me from going out & enjoying myself.  But if you don't have any restrictions holding you back, maybe it is time for you to do some travelling?  Just think about it...other than a job or school, why not get out and do something you've always wanted to do?\n\nBest of luck and remember, you don't need a man to make you happy.  Once you become satisfied with yourself and your own happiness & you can honestly tell yourself that you don't need a man to bring you the happiness that you require, that's when you know you are ready to possibly start a relationship.  You find happiness on your own, not with someone else.  Someone else only adds to the happiness you have already found within yourself.
584195
I am a few years out of a long marriage and have no desire to jump right back in...at first I was but the longer I am single the more comfortable being single I am becoming....and establishing finances, housing..activities doesn't allow me to consider settling down...its crazy enough doing the dating thing.
82557
There's likely nothing at all wrong with you. In fact, you sound very young...just the way you type. I wouldn't worry abotu finding a boyfriend. It'll happen. I haven't dated in a while and for right now that's the best thing for me. Take your time, examine your options, flirt, etc. Just have fun being young and NOT feeling the weight of a relationship. Above all, don't start going out with a guy you're not positive about just because you feel lonely or incomplete. That's not being true to yourself.
399349
Pft. There's nothing wrong with that. I know some other people who never had a boyfriend and they're well over 20. I really don't think there's much of a point in having a boyfriend if you're only under 15. You might not have a job with decent pay and there's not a lot of money that you're willing to spend on him. Also, if you're young and you just want a boyfriend and you can't really 'do' much with him, only just to hang out.. chances are you won't be together that long.
198378
When you are dealing with loneliness..read a book, watch tv, listen to music, or watch movies. \nI know its hard being single, but you dont need a man to be happy! \nYou probably do have so much to give, but take your time you have a life ahead of you. Right now worry about yourself. Make life plans. Write out pros and cons of having a relationship, make out a list of what qualities you are looking for in a guy. But, don't rush into anything if you aren't ready for it. A relationship is a major thing, cause you have to deal with both your life and be in his life at the same time. Please take it from someone who knows, I finally found someone to be with and I'm happily engaged, it took 5 years, but I waited and I found the man of my dreams!
258862
do what makes you happy and fulfilled, you don't have to please anyone else or society anymore.  I am 39, never married & no kids and I prefer that over ever being divorced and putting kids through hell because of my own not so good choices.  I desire to be married someday, just not to the wrong one.  It's cool to be unique and different anyway.  Follow the road less traveled!!  & your heart!!
110670
Unfortunately, your situation is normal.  I know that sucks.  I've been there too.  But as I got older, I had PLENTY of relationships (some I shouldn't have been so willing to rush into.)  Endure and have fun.  This soon shall pass for you.