My guy used to hate  my best friend.  now I know that my male friend likes me. We have not talked in months. I know that means that my male friend backed out becuase I told him that if he really wants more to stp calling and e-mailing me.  I still miss him. I'm married 8 yrs, and known this friend 10 yrs. HE  is living with someone that I have not met yet. Should I e-mail him? Matbe he changed his mind??///////////////
203592
youre married. right, email him why not? you missed your ten years then rebond again but talk to him. make sure he respect you as a fren and only a fren. youre married remember that. and be happy for him if he has a soulmate already
502765
I did this once, and it changed everything.  We are still friendly, but not the friends we used to be.  Give him some time, and see what happens.  Most likely he just needs you to back off a little bit.  If it's just friends with benefits, sending notes about how wonderful he is is probably not a good idea.  Would you have sent something like that to him before the sex?  Probably not.  So don't do it now. Act the same way as you always have.  That was your agreement and you have to stick by it now.
619400
Hard to be friends with someone who will not share their interiors. It is in being open and disclosing with others that the bonds of trust and friendship strengthen. Not replying to emails, saying that you sent too many (especially if they were personal ones) sounds pretty small-minded and needy to me.\n\nI think that friendship and communication are possible only between equals. It sounds to me like he was treating you not like an equal but like something like a dependent, a child. In that case, and remember we do  not know your relationship with this guy that well, I would say to keep your distance.\n\nGuys are funny (not laughable, but strange) in the United States. They grow up very late, if they grow up at all. They are sort of like dogs: wolves that do not mature. BTW, did you know that? Wolves have almost the same genes, dogs are the permanent juvenile form, though. Anyway, guys remain little boys: needy, whiney, and very self-centered. Your former friend seems like that is his case.\n\nLive well and show him that he made a great mistake in ignoring you. You are well-worth paying attention to. \n\nThat is my considered opinion.
223703
My husband and I were best friends for several years before we hooked up.  We would date off and on, but nothing serious until we finally hooked up for good.  The best thing about dating your friend is that you don't have to pretend and your friend is not able to pretend either, since you know them so well.  The open communication lines are already there.  If you guys have a strong friendship, it should be able to weather just about anything, including dating.  Me and the hubby have an extremely strong marriage.  We have been married for 10 years now.  We never fight.  If one has an issue with the other, we just talk it out.  If you have feelings for your friend, go for it.  It probably took a lot out of your friend to ask you out.  If anything, not accepting the invitation could affect your friendship because they will feel rejected by you.  Talk to your friend, tell them your fears and you two can mutually agree upon the next step.  But, you will not get anywhere unless you discuss your fears with your friend!!!
29142
Even though that answer by Jason was funny as hell, I don't agree with it.\n\nI think it's best that you come clean and tell your long-time friend how you feel about him.  If he ever ends up with someone else and makes a great husband or whatever, you will always punish yourself for him being the one who got away because you were too chicken to tell him how you felt about him.  You can mention to him how you don't want to ruin the friendship, but feel the need to let him know how you feel, and even if he doesn't feel the same way, you can maintain the friendship.  Look at it like the lottery slogan; "You can't win if you don't play!"  Also, it can go one of two ways, it can be the best relationship you ever had, or it can end, and you can remain friends, or it can end and lose the friendship, possibly.  I think you should go with you gut instinct and your heart.  Your friendship most likely won't end since you guys go back to the diaper years.  I really think you should take the chance.  Keep me posted, or if you have any more thoughts....gemfow@yahoo.com
202466
option 3. he wasn't much of a friend before, and now that you have relationship baggage and nothing strong platonically to bind you from before, there is no friendship to revive here. too much complication and effort on your part. let him go and make different friends, see different guys, be free!!
606691
A lot of guys... not all, but a lot of them seem to act immaturely until they are at least 24 when they realize that they can't get by with it. With the e-mail thing I think he was testing you to see if you would send her anything. He may want to make you jealous who knows with guy because he seems a little off the walll with oh I have a girlfriend and then treatens you. Not a good thing just watch your back, he may not be a friend any more.
281100
i know exactly how you feel... well, at least i think i do.. i am in love with my best guy friend whom i have known for almost 11 years... we are reallyc lose and a week ago, he confessed that he believed that we were meant to be.. blahblah.. and then we kissed.. and it's been a week and i have a feeling that he's avoiding me.. he's always busy and within the last week, he called me ONCE... that's it. and it was for a brief conversatio. i don't know what is going on... its really hard to do anything.. because i know that we were friends first.. and i dont want to risk it..\n\nmy advice to you... confront him before you assume anything and talk with him... talk it through... conversation is the best option you have... dont do like what i did and talk it out. it will save YOUR HEART from a lot of pain....
203994
I met a friend and I consider her as my bestfriend, during my hi-school days..She was my classmate only for 1 year, then we parted ways as my family moved to our province and her family too, our place seems like A-Z, on the first few months we had communications then it fades away..after 22 years, I was happily married w/ 2 kids and working abroad and 1 day I was terrribly surprised when I received an email from her..and she said that she never gave up on looking for me though I did..We were very happy then..her family still remembers me and my family as well..I'd like to see her very soon when I got my vacation, we've got so  many things to talk about..I love her, she is my very best friend.
44270
i wouldnt call if he doesnt answer it will just hurt u more how often do yall email each other? id just try to move on if your ment to be hell come back
318944
There are still some good guys left.\nThere is nothing wrong with him holding on to a happy time in his life. He and his wife obviously have trust for eachother and because he holds no grudges against you means that he rather have you as a friend that not at all in his life. Because he took so much time to contact you probably meant he is finally fully over you and wants to complete that with sharing his happy times with you and also make you realise that its ok to be friends.\nSo go for it but don;t expect more than a very good friend.\nGood luck!
226246
As he is your friend that you say that you are so close to, i do not think that anyone else will be able to tell you what you should give.  The only advice i can give is that, anyone can buy jewelry, etc but it is the silly things that count and would mean more.  You know this man, it would have to be some thing personal that you shard together.  Also you say your getting married, I hope you are not saying goodbye to your Friend? mar rage does not mean you have to get rid of your Friends male or female.
546894
you didnt do anything wrong, it was good that you were honest about your feelings. he is your best friend, and best friends are suppose to care about each other. you might want to have a talk with him, maybe there is something wrong going on in his life that he hasnt told you. but if he is a bad friend in other ways, you might want to stop hanging out with him so much.
567675
i'm so sorry to hear tht buddy, but i think you know u'r answer..its better to move on...if he was really intrested to maintain the friendship..he would have answerd to you or call u back how much busy he was at tht time....so its pretty clear tht he has changed...as they say..money changes pple...maybe one day he may realise tht he lost a good friend...so buddy...keep moving on.
293916
how long have you been friends??? frankly, it really should be okay because you've moved on, right? unless, your friend is your bestfriend and she knows how you still feel about him, then maybe that's another question...so, maybe you need to ask your friend what is going on...you know, talk to her or something...but if she's not that close, leave it! like i said, you've moved on right? go find someone else better...someone who deserves you... ^_^
356233
So what.  Friendship should not have that kind of boundary.  I unfortunately seen what has happened when something like this happened.  My ex-husband always said "I don't know what I would do if he found out one of his friends was gay."  Well back in 84 we found out my brother (his best friend) was gay.  He shut down most of the communication with him, and after we divorced he never spoke to him again.  He threw out a 25+ year friendship over my brothers sexual preferance for no reason.  My brother never came on to him or brought any "dates" around when they were room mates.  Don't throw it out, it hurt my brother till his death 2 years ago to loose a close friend because he was honest.  So what if he is Scots, sexual preferanc is not set by ancestry.  Accept him and let him know that you will still be his friend, also be there for him to talk to, he will have a difficult road and any support even to just listen he will appreciate.  Not only that you will learn more about him (mentally) by doing so.
598095
Not fair... thats a trick question!  Yes its good, if you have really been good friends that long then you each know the others likes and dislikes, none of the awkward "figuring things out" stage.  And you should have an idea how he'll respond to you... after all you're friends.\n\nHowever... if you want to screw up a good relationship, all you have to do is ask him out.  Actually, thats not true... its sex that screws it up.  Once that frontier is crossed you can't go back.  So you have to decide if the payoff is worth losing him as a really good friend.\n\nOne of my best friends now was one of my best friends before we had a relationship.  After we broke up things were strained until I told him outright we were meant to be friends and nothing more, it took a few years to develop the friendship again.  And one of my best friends married her secret crush from high school after they saw each other at the 5th year reunion... and they've been married almost 8 years now.\n\nSo yes it is good... and the payoff can be tremendous...  but if you guys break up, and he's not mature enough to handle just being friends again, you may lose a good friend.\n\nOh yeah... I say go for it, because you don't want to be wondering in a few years what could have been.  You can probably get him back as a friend, but you'll never get rid of the regret if you don't try it.