cheats or 'has an affair' whith someone else why yall are stull married and you find out, is that a good enough reason to file a divorce? i mean, all of your trust for him has completely disspeared, but when you married you did pretty much promise to love him no matter what. What do you think?
200850
Yes, I see it as an excellent reason for a divorce.  As you said, the trust is gone.  And, on top of that, sorry to say that once a cheater, always a cheater.  You would never be able to trust him again as odds are, he will cheat again.\n\nHe committed adultery.  That is an accepted reason for divorce.
185587
Sure it counts as an affair but let me ask you this, are you a Yo-Yo? I mean she sends you away for 5 months and then all of a sudden has some Epiphany or a string and you come rolling back up it and she wants you back and then you are suppose to kick people out of your life and go back with her? Does she have your testicles in a jar and is holding them for ransom or did you get caught cheating on her in the beginning and that's what caused all this I want a divorce crap? Something tells me you are not giving us the whole story here Bud!!
361071
Yes I've cheated.\n\nIts often a difficult question for most people to answer.  Why did I do it?  I felt very betrayed, unworthy, and just plain not good enough after my husband cheated twice.  I needed to know I was still beautiful and worthy of a man's love and attention.\n\nNot once did I feel I was betraying his trust.  It felt more appealing, like vengeance.  \n\nNo, I've been accused of cheating in other relationships.  I strived more to prove that I wasn't.  The thought of actually doing it never crossed my mind.
349422
Unless you had some interest in the Ex, why did you talk with him a couple times?  Obviously, you felt you were doing wrong, because you hid it.  Now, AFTER you get caught, you whine about how much you love your husband, and how you want things to work out.  so touching.  Odd that you weren't all that concerned about NOT doing something your husband would consider being unfaithful, when you expected to not be found out, but AFTER getting caught, you are sooo worried about your marriage.  Just a guess- Did your husband have a problem with this guy before?  Did he specifically ask you not to have anything to do with him?  Did you promise hubby you wouldn't have anything to do with that ex?  Lady, you may find that some things just can't be fixed, and saying "sorry" AFTER getting caught, means very little.
122671
Married or not if you have a commitment with someone you should not cheat. You should ask yourself if you are wanting to cheat on someone, why not just leave that person and let them move on to someone who cares for them. I consider cheating when you do anything intimately with another person other than your significant other. That could be holding hands, intercourse, kissing, and even sharing and in depth meaningful conversation. It is wrong because you are taking something sacred from your partner. People, I think cheat because they need some kinda of reassurance that they can attract someone other than they're partner. This is caused by low self esteem. If you are contemplating this don't hurt your partner for your own self gratification. ITS WRONG
93025
My husband cheated on me shortly after we got together...but I did say he's my husband, right?  He swears up and down to never do it again, it's hard to forget, but I have forgiven him and am still, after 2 1/2 years trying to forget.  It's not easy, but I love him too, and don't want to let go.  He respects me for forgiving him, and since I gave him a second chance, he will be faithful to me.
573306
Well, men and women alike cheat. Not everyone mind you. We are all different and have our reasons for cheating or not cheating. Speaking on behalf of men, my personal opinion is that if a man cheats, he does think about it, even if its at a subconscious level. I have never cheated on anyone I have been with, but that's my choice. I prefer to end the relationship if I feel that I want to be with another woman. Cheating isn't worth the headaches or the risk of losing someone you might care about.\n\nI think if someone cheats, they have very low morals and isn't someone worth being with. This is why I believe that most people get involved in serious relationships too early in life. They should be out there having fun and enjoying their youth. There will be plenty of time to get involved in a serious relationship. Once we learn what love is really about, we can make better decisions on who will might want to spend the rest of our lives with.
540164
As much as I'm against divorce it really seems to me that you should have never married the person you are with.  Did he ever make you happy?  Anyway\n\nThe truth is you are wondering if this considering the situation could grow into a real serious committed relationship.  Unfortunately it probably won't, the guy you are with will always know and remember that you met him while you were cheating on your husband.  He may like you enough to really think in his heart that it won't matter but deep down it always will it will come out later.  I'm really sorry.\n\nHonestly you need to do something about your current relationship before anything else. You need to either get a counselor (what i would recommend) or get a lawyer (what others may recommend).  As someone else said right now anybody looks better than your husband in his current state.
442160
when men cheat they try and lay blame for the reason on the one who is hurt, the victim. they are just trying to get u to depressed and down and believing it was your falt so u won't lay blame where it really belongs. i would divorce him, and get some alimony out of it. he is not done with this woman yet, he doesn't want to divorce u because he might have to give u too much financially, or split the assetts fairly.
564749
there are many motives behind an affair,the old line it just happened is a crock of bull,it is given much thought and for men i think it's a challenge for women it is a emotional thing the sense of being needed, attractive to another man.men also need to see if they still have it some do, some don't,  some never did,regardless of the reason it is wrong.if your sex life stinks make it better try different things,being a women i can't completly answer why guys cheat but i feel it's an ego thing or maybe their spouse is truely a louse in which case she has no reason to complain we women know men like / need  sex and if we are completly against making love then let him go no man or women should be forced to live without it unless it is for a medical reason,in that case then you should find other ways to satisfy each other.
162431
Alot of good answers on here...I am going to give you an answer from the other perspective. I was a wife who was cheated on. Granted, we were only married 5 1/2 years but it was extremely painful. Imagine the person you love most in the world and have dedicated your life to coming home one evening and saying to you "I am seeing someone else and I think I love her." It makes your heart stop, your body ache, and the word "numb" doesn't even come close to what you feel. My initial response was "Oh My God NO! You can't leave me!" After a few days it was "Get the F**K away from me!!" If his wife were smart she would kick him to the curb. The two of you deserve each other. You are no better than he is.
429892
Yes!!!!!!!!!! It's ssttuuppiidd!!!! The lie's and cheating never seem to stop.. It seems fun and adventurous at first.. Then you really start to fall for the person, and it really starts to get to you when he or she has to go back home to wifey or hubbie.. You only have a part of his time, and the promises that are made really on the most part never come thru.. Do yourself a favor get out of it now and if it was meant to be they will leave and divorce the spouse and come find you... Good Luck...
587730
Please, please, please tell her or at least your best friend.  My husband cheated on me for years and a lot of people knew about it.It made the situation worse.  I feel like they were laughing at how stupid I was for not knowing.  I also felt betrayed by them.  They are NOT my friends; they and my husband made me feel like such a loser.  My husband and I are working on our marriage and he and I lost a lot of good friends over his cheating.  My life will never be the same.  I will never trust my husband again and a lot of joy at the 'little things' is now gone.
444247
Should they divorce and remarry their extramarital lovers?  I don't know.  It's not for me to judge another person's life or marriage.  I feel that the problem doesn't begin with the affair; the problem begins with whether or not they should've married one another or not.  It's a step "not to be taken lightly", and those aren't just pretty words that the preacher says at the wedding.  He really, really means just that.  Are they really ready for a lifetime of putting another person ahead of themselves?  I doubt it.  \n\nThe man and woman are both at fault...the other woman and her marriage are beside the point.  We're concerned mainly with this marriage between the husband and wife you speak of, right?  The woman, being Christian, shold be striving to find focus and balance in her own life, knowing herself and where she stands, knowing her own shortcomings, and bravely turning around to face her demons.  Unless you have a good foundation (one's self) anything you build outwardly will just crumble.  So she needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and see that she is not filling out her potential.\n\nThe man, regardless of his religious beliefs, still knows right from wrong.  His wife, haranguing nag though she may be, is still his wife and deserves his honesty and a measure of respect.  If for no other reason than to appease his own conscience that he has done all he can do.  She needs to be given the opportunity to change.  He needed to tell her that her behaviour is making him so unhappy and lonely that he wants to find another woman to take her place.  We all want and need the close companionship of another special person as we go through life.  It is unfair of her to deny this to him.  If she truly cannot offer that to him, it is her responsibility to let him go.  Same goes for her, if the husband had been maltreating her.\n\nPeople are imperfect.  If we base our marriages on the expectation that the other person will always behave honourably and kindly and selflessly, we're in for a shock.  Our spouses will screw up.  WE will screw up.  If you don't make allowances for the frailty of human nature, and prepare yourselves for the eventuality of needing to forgive them for their mistakes, you're stacking the deck against yourselves.
94747
I agree...you have been brave...however...most men do not do well with ultimatums so you might lose him.  HOWEVER if it's really meant to be, he will come back after a while, once he realizes how much life sucks without you.  If he doesnt, sit back and be happy that you're not wasting anymore time on someone who's not willing to be with you the way you need and want.  \nI live by this:  \n\nIf you love something, set it free\nIf it comes back to you...it's yours\nIf not, it never was.\n\nI am currently in a very very similar situation...so I truly do understand what you feel like.  e-mail me if you wanna chat melissakct@yahoo.com\n\nAs for some of the mean rude answers you recieved...ignore them.  Men do not only cheat for no-strings attached sex, perhaps he simply made a mistake when he got married and now realizes it.  It's only natural for him to see what else is out there before getting a divorce as divorce is a painful expensive process.  Perhaps assisting him in his affair is not the most moral thing we could do...but I don't think you did anything wrong.  And just b/c he cheated on her...does not mean he will cheat on you.  It all depends on his state of mind when entering the affair.  If he truly stopped loving his wife (very very possible) and already emotionally left the marriage...chances are he will not cheat again.  Only you know the answer to that. \n\nHope to hear from you.
551050
I think it is very selfish to do that, if you aren't happy then try counseling and if that don't work then end it, cheating is just selfish and dumb.  You know the consequence of doing it when you do so why even do that and hurt the person you are with if you could save them the hurt to begin with???  Great question!!
656050
Dump the loser, when people cheat or even try to cheat (sounds like he is) they now the pain and hurt that it would cause their wife or husband and yet they choose to go ahead and hurt them without regard.  That is certainly not the definition of love.  Move on no matter how hard it can be emotionally you will be the better person for it.