I liked this guy a year ago... of which I persuaded him to cheat on his present gf. He did, but then never told her. I stupidly said something to her later in the year, and it blew up in my face. I gave myself space from the guy... until now. I thought I had problems with new guys I've been trying to know and like, but I'm starting to realize that I may just still be in love with the guy from last year. When does the "first love" thing wear off, if ever?
202373
Thoughts stay with us until someone keeps us company the time you think of him is when your alone and have time to think. One think about people they always want what they have not got. So stay busy it will work ever time.
86326
Hi, this is Cat...After 1 1/2 years did you not know how he felt about you? If he's clammed up, obviously he wasn't ready to hear how you felt about him. Usually a guy will be responsive how he feels way before a year has passed, he might not say so, however his actions will speak louder than words. I suggest you give him space real fast, leave him alone for a couple of weeks to a month to think and to chill out. He's probably afraid of commitment or he does not feel the same about you. Do not approach him again regarding this issue, he may bolt like a wild horse and never come back. Instead just be a friend to him for now, if it's not too late. Lesson well learnt, you know what to do next time.
280205
I can associate with this question.  It's hard to lose your first love, because you know that all the memories you had together is shared by only you now.  A world of emotions go through your mind and it's tough.  I think in time this gets a little easier to accept.\n\nAs far as your current guy goes, just remember that he is the one who is here.  He is the one who has been with you for 6 years.  He needs your love or you might lose him.\n\nSeek out a therapist or a good friend who can sit and talk with you for a couple of sessions.  Sometimes just talking about it helps.  Maybe that's why you resent you current guy... because you feel uncomfortable talking about your ex with him?
408170
Oh, man.  Has this not happened to anyone???  Mine was so bad I announced a vow of celebacy to one and all and eradicated the words 'date', 'love', 'marriage', and several others from my vocabulary and spent two or so years studying every religious text and book on philosophy ever written and getting black belts in several martial arts.\n\nThen one day I met somebody who'd been just as verbal about relationships and became good friends.  And whammo!  There it  was - like a 2x4 right between the eyes, simultaneously after a few months.  We then spent 24 hours completely denying it and going on about not ruining our friendship.  After 24 hours, we were going, "Um, weren't we NOT going to do this?"  Eight and a half years later, and we're still together and greatly bemused by it all.\n\nSince then I've met quite a few people who'd given up on love, and a similar thing happened.  It's almost like screaming up at the Gods of Irony, "YUP, never gonna date again, ever, EVER!!!\n\nI think you really have to mean it though.  So, focus on some other goal in life, make a point of making sure you're friends with somebody first before dating them, because I've since discovered that every lasting relationship I know of started off with a firm foundation of friendship, and one day when you least expect it or even want it, you'll get the 2x4 to the head.
91604
I've gone out with 5 guys all together and the fifth is my soul mate.  With the other four, I rushed into the relationship because I felt no one cared about me.  I didn't want to be left out so when they showed any interest I was hooked.  When I met my current boyfriend, I decided I would take things slow and be very cautious.  We've been together for two years.  We've been through A LOT of trying times and are still as much in love as the day we met.
436656
Yes it's very possible. However, it's going to take time. \nYou're obviously not over this girl. I really believe that for as long as you're holding on to this girl, you won't be ready for a new love. \nI'm assuming she's your first love? It's going to be hard because naturally we compare everything and everyone to that one person. She was perfect in every way, right? and you want your next to be just like her; totally understandable. But honestly, we can't expect to find that same person again. I think that you may need a little more time to get over her; and I'm sorry to say, but you do need to let her go. It's hard to let ourselves open up to new options and personalities when we're still so engrossed on one option. \nAnd, I'm sorry, I'm not one to tell you how to move on and let go. It took me almost 3 years before i could completely let go of my first. But it will happen, i think the best thing you can do now is find out what you can learn from that relationship and try to figure out how, because of this relationship, you've become a better person. Then use those factors to find what you really need.
567866
My first love...gosh..this question brings back memories. His name is Derek. I was 15 years old when I met him. I had never kissed or even held hands with anybody before. I remember the first time we kissed. We were at a mutual friend's house and we walked outside together. I knew what was going to happen and I was so nervous. I started rambling on and on avoiding eye contact. Then I pointed up to a star that was shining really bright and I go "Hey, Look at---" and before I could finish my sentence he turned my face to his and kissed me. It was so sweet, so innocent. I will never forget that first kiss for the rest of my life. Derek and I were together for a year, but of course we are young and we came to a point that we were ready to experience being with other people. I still talk to him from time to time, just to see how he is doing. Even though we aren't together anymore, he will always hold a special place in my heart.
157646
The fact that your attentions are on someone else makes me question the relationship with the first guy. But decide who you like better and make a definate choice. It may end up being the wrong choice, but you will learn from it and hopefully be more wise the next time.
253885
All I can do is tell you about my first time. I was totally in love, but the guy wasn't. It was nuthin' nice. In fact it was, on the whole, a totally awful experience. When I realized he didn't really care about me, I was devastated. I had thrown away the most precious gift I had to give a man on a jerk who just wanted to say he'd had a virgin. Don't be in a rush, sweetheart. I'm not saying you have to wait for marriage, just make the first time with someone really special. Make GOOD memories! I love you.
478165
I very much remember my first love to this day and its been 7 yrs! We both are now married and I have 2 children and he has one. I know this by word of mouth. I will never forget him. I believe it is like this with your first love! Maybe he still loves you truly? and he doesnt want to be around u! Its hard to say, but when I was with him 7 yrs ago he said he will always love me as I said the same thing. I have never loved the same way and will never love the same way as i loved him!! Good Luck1
636631
My boyfriend thinks his first love is his true love..but you never end up with them.  But..you can also have a deep love for another maybe even deeper..and your first love can still be your true love.  I don't know...I think there's something special about the first person you ever loved..it's a new experience, a new feeling, and I think maybe part of it's falling in love w/the feeling.  It's like experiencing anything for the first time..then the more you do it, you get used to it and it's not as exciting you already know those feelings.
554017
I just can't say the name.  Major crossed signals.  He liked me, I didn't like him.  I liked him but was too indecisive.  This went on for about 8 yrs.  Then suddenly I discovered I loved him.  Like I was finally seeing him for the first time.  It was like a bolt of lightning & I realized we were perfect together.  I finally got up the nerve to tell him I had come around, and before I got the chance to say anything, he told me that he had started dating my good friend.  \n\nI was shocked, but I figured it wouldn't last; I knew in my heart eventually he'd come crawling back to me.  I mean, come on, how could he not?  :)\n\nBut love was cruel... instead of him coming 2 his senses & sweeping me off my feet like in some Hollywood finale, I somehow ended up in their WEDDING.  You have no idea how much that sucked.  I drank myself silly that night out of a broken heart.  *sniff*
99745
Well, you can never ever ever forget your first love...unless you get konked on the head and get amnesia or some such like that. Heh. ^^; Anyway, it's normal to hold your first love higher than the next. You want the next to be just as perfect and wonderful. It is possible that he isn't the right one either, but you shouldn't ruin the relationship you have with him just because the love you feel is different. Best of luck hun! ^^
85936
How do you feel when you are away from this person?  What are the qualities you like about him?  Are they the inside ones or the physical ones?  When you have truly found love you will always want to be with that person.  They will be everything you ever dreamed, and of course they will still have flaws, but you will be able to overlook them.  If you are still thinking about the first guy what is it about him that keeps you thinking about him?  Does the new guy have those qualities?  Just some questions for you to ask yourself.  I hope that helps!
278393
well...recently...I ended up cheating on my last boyfriend because he disappeared for two weeks then came back and ignored me for a week and I didn't know what was going on so when an old friend of mine put the moves on me about 50 times within one sitting...saying "no" got to be to hard. I should have just left, but I was so upset...I don't know what I was thinking.
237164
I hear ya hunny. The same thing happened to me nearly 4 years ago. When we broke up I took him off my aim list and didn't talk to him for about a year because it was just too hard. He also started seeing someone about a month after we broke up and he is still with her. It does get easier but it is a very very slow process. You just gotta build up talking in general before you can start talking as best friends again. It was just last year that we could start talking like buds again. If he was your first love you may never get over him but eventually you will have to put that behind you if you want your friendship back.\n\nJust try and give it some time, Best Wishes!
580614
I'm sorry things didn't end well for you, but you mustn't make assumptions on what happened. Not all of us are heartless like that. I know I'm not. I was in love, actually am in love, with this guy who had left for the Army. Well I waited for him and never did I stray my eyes elsewhere. When he came back, I knew he might get deployed for a year or more at any time, but never one did I ever think of just forgetting about him. I would've waited for him as long as necessary. Unfortunately, it didn't work out for us, but it wasn't because of that, there were other issues. My point is, don't despair, just because one relationship went sour. I'm sure someday you'll find that girl who will wait for you as long as necessary because she truly loves you. :)