Well, I've been trying to find a girlfriend for many years... but one problem I have is that all my dates, they all want to have sex within the first 3 or 4 dates (and some in the very first date), and that freaks me out. Call me a Christian or just a traditionalist, or a conservative, or whatever you want, but, I don't get this women. If they want to have sex with me after just a couple of dates, then they probably had sex with every single guy they dated (which could be many... yuck). So I'm wondering, do women really like sex (without being married) or do they just want it to make guys happy (because they know us guys are very "weak" when it comes to temptation) and avoid being rejected by the guy? - by the way, I wish "normal" women to reply to this question, I'm aware there're some really crazy girls out there. I always thought that a woman who waits for marriage (or at the very least engagement) has a lot of self respect, and hence, it makes me give her "extra" respect/trust.
212503
i admire the last statement of your question - the self respect piece - women don't understand the fact that they're self respect is compromised when they have pre-marital sex - besides, it's unlawful for those reason and for reasons of maintaining a monogamous relationship.
60920
I think that people that save sex are to be highly respected.  I myself am waiting until marriage.  Sex, when thrown around too much, becomes stagnant, and it takes more and more to please the person, just like a drug.  Studies have proven that those people that have only had one or two partners in their lives, no matter how active they are together, are much less likely to get bored with each other.  He takes sleeping with someone seriously, and we all should.  We're talking about an act that God made so that two people in love, who are intimate on every other level, ie mind, personality, spiritually, can now consumate and become fully one in each other.  Its so beautiful when done as its supposed to be.  Sex just for sex ends up being shallow.
677229
It's because some women are very greedy and they just want what they can't have.  Have you every wanted something, but were told you couldn't have it?  It's like that.  I'm not saying it's a good thing.  On the contrary, I think dating married men or women is terrible, but the reason they do it is because if they know someone is unatainable (married or seeing someone) they will go after that person to prove that they CAN have him or her.  I'm sorry about this double-date thing, by the way.
264881
Both women and men want sex. Some more than others. For myself, I love sex obviously but only when it is with someone i am comfortable with and love. IE I want the relationship aspect and the sex will then come. I;m not just out for sex.
636128
Is NOTHING wrong with you. We have almost all of us had this happen at least once, if not many times. Why men and boys do this is that we let them. Go over there and knock on the door and ask him what gives? And no matter what he says - move on, but at least you will have had the chance to let him know what he did was not cool with you. Learn from this and don't do it again. Also, dating or sleeping with a guy in your neighborhood is never a good idea - if it goes bad you are living adjacent to the 'enemy', the 'ex' the 'bastard-jerk that broke your heart' and you may have to watch other girls come and go from his place. Never smart.\n\nAs far as keeping a guy interested after sex - the only way to do that is to have him be so interested in you that he will be willing to date you for at least 90 days exclusively and to not have sex without protection (both of you). If he does that - then after you give it up - he will still be interested nearly 100% of the time. Doesn't matter what age guy - 14 or 54 - they are all the same this way. If you give it up before you have a relationship and intimacy and other things to keep him around - he will be gone after the thrill of the hunt is over. He will be moving on to the next conquest. Boys and men are usually not gonna date anyone seriously that they sleep with right away - they may not admit it but they see you as the slut that gave it up pretty easily to try to win their affections - not as the girl they want to introduce to their Moms.\n\nLearn this now so you can move on yourself. Any guy that is really into you would have wanted to wait. Also, they would have called the very next day or that following evening.\n\nIf he is playing games - which he probably is - he will already have made moves on other girls by now.\n\nAlso, like the other post said - how many other guys will he think you do this with? And more importantly for you - how many other girls has he done this to that you have now technically slept with - and all they guys they have been with and so on and so forth. Be more careful with your heart and body from now on.
452085
The prevailing culture is hard on both men and women, in different ways.  Sexual intimacy before marriage can cloud and compromise judgment.  It releases oxytocin, a bonding hormone, in women, and they form an emotional attachment to a man who may not be the guy they truly seek for a lasting relationship.  I think many women offer sex because they're afraid they won't have dates if they don't.\nSince sex is so freely available, most men take what is offered indiscriminately, and then find themselves with women who are emotionally attached to them when they may not return the feeling.  These Yahoo questions are filled to the brim with that scenario.\n  It's a recipe for a big, messy disaster and for one failed relationship after another, so that both men and women become sad and shopworn.\n    Kudoes to you!  There are plenty of women (everywhere, not just in church!) who would consider you to be a real jewel.
94760
The only guys that try that are trashy guys.  If you quit attracting trashy men and stopped giving them the impression that you WILL go to bed with them on the first date then you will start to attract guys with a little more class and higher caliber.  \n\nIncidentally, I'll bet you HAVE had sex with more than five guys on the first date.
64844
I have actually seen documentaries of people aged 14-20 where they ask the guys questions like: Do you want your future wife to be a virgin when you marry?, Or are you comfortable marrying a girl who has slept around?, etc. and the answer over and over again has been that they would like to marry a virgin.\n\nIt seems a lot of guys want to play around sexually before marriage, but will go looking for a "clean" girl when they are serious about settling down. \n\nA lot of very sexually active girls are in for a huge shocker when they want to marry.
294220
The reason they want you so much is that you are a rare person. Wonder what percentage of the population has had ONLY one sex partner? VERY SMALL PERCENTAGE, I BET! I admire you for not having multi partners. You found what you wanted, and you stayed with him. Way to go! But the guys just want you because you're practically a virgin, at least to them.Hope that answers your question.
22352
I think those who waited until they found someone they believed cared for them had the least problems.  Obviously there are no guarantees; even waiting until marriage doesn't mean "happily ever after".  However, I think that being patient and waiting for the "right" one is more intelligent than letting hormones control you.  I believe this is true for both men and women; there are plenty of guys who think of themselves as "players" but are just scared of ending up with the wrong person.\n\nI think this a good time to point out that it's not just women who risk in a sexual relationship--it's just they're usually the only ones willing to talk about it.\n\nIn the end we all have to risk making the wrong decision to find that happiness we all want.  I did, and have a couple pretty nasty scars to show for it.  But, as the saying goes, the third time's a charm.
240
Alot of females lack an amount of respect for themselves. So they deem the amount of sex or the intensity of the act as a means of actually being with someone. Rather than establishing the relationship first and allowing the loving to be the icing on the cake. It's kind of like when we were kids and played make believe. However,the difference would be that we adventually snapped back to reality. As mentioned previously, woman are emotional creatures and once a guy hitz it the right way or tells us something we like to hear. Woman pretty much lose their minds...so sorry fellas but that's just the way it is...
173844
Your friend is an idiot.\n\nI won't date any woman who refuses to have sex with me. I also won't date a married woman.  Either one of these disqualifies the woman as dating material for me.\n\nLet's deal with married part first. I'll never understand why people start something with someone who is in a committed relationship.  That means the one in the relationship is cheating, and it's only a matter of time before you're in a commited relationship with this cheater, only now the cheater is cheating on *you*.  And the fact that the cheater cheats on his current spouse, even with no sexual contact, tells me that their religion can't be used to explain their behavior, because they only want to apply the rules of their religion when it suits them.\n\nNow lets talk about the "sexless monogamy" part of this. The reason why people "date" is because they are sexually attracted to each other.  If this doesn't lead to actual sexual contact and activity pretty quickly then what was the point?  Remember, this woman has already lost the right to claim that her holding out has something to do with her marriage vows or her religion, because she is in fact seeing other people.\n\nIf you are just friends, then why the pretense of dating?  If this "seeing each other" includes romance, and him paying for her in a lot of ways, but no sex, then she's just exploiting him.\n\nYour friend is a clueless dumbass, and I think you are 100% right to think she is just leading him on.
270254
Boy, I just LUV this questions! I'm wondering the same thing.. I think they're all sex addicts (and it's a clanny 'perv hangout!') Boy oh boy. (It's not me that thinks so, eh?) I say skip the dating sites.. I can't find anyone worth a darn in this small town (of l,500) either. Everyone 'knows everyone else.' So am I really stuck or what?!? Yeah, you are sharp.. when they want to be friends, it's just sex.. (yep.) Real men wanna make you happy and take you out to dinner, a show, be considerate.. (right on!) I think you are on the right track .. don't give in!!! later
216272
Did it ever occur to you that there is nothing wrong?  There are some guys who want to be virgins until married.  Why should that be an issue?  A guy has the right to say no and to wait until marriage.  Some guys don't believe in a double standard...they want a virgin so they will also remain virginal.
188199
I married and worship a girl who was a virgin when we met.\n\nIf she hadn't been, I would have treated her as just another girl and never married her.  \n\nWhat I mean is that she was far more special than other girls I had dated.  Why?  Because I knew that when she gave herself to me, it was something very valuable and a big step for her.\n\nAs I said, I still worship her.\n\nOh, and she has a personality and innocence that far exceed those of other women I know.  I view her as a rare angel.\n\nI think her willingness to stay a virgin indicated how amazing of a person she truly is.\n\nGirls who don't keep their virginity?  Well, they get divorced every day.  Why not dump a girl who has had another penis in her?  She's not THAT special
415484
i've only been out looking once.. \nstumbled upon it twice..and well, here's the thing..as a woman, i'm kind of looking for a guy who is sexual..and is going to give me what i want that night.. \nmindless, mindnumbing, meaningless sex.. but still a good time.. \n\nseriously, the last one night stand (not intentionally) i had was great.. we ended up back at my place around 2..and we uhmm ya know for a while.. and then had to take a break about 4.. we laughed, joked and had a good time before ya know.. uhmming some more..and then another break.. basically the morning ended with a lot of fun..and a lot more of uhmm..\n\nit's like i don't want to feel trashy after a one night stand, but i still want great sex.. \n\ni go into my regular bar..we get a lot of drifters in and out..i went one night with the intention of hooking up with someone..edned up leaving with someone else, and then hooking up with a completely different person.. odd i iknow..but serioiusly, i was determined to have sex that night.. and for some reason it seems guys decide to have a conscience now.. "i don't want to use you as a one night stand.. but can i get your phone number and we can hang out tomorrow?" wtf??\n\nthe next time.. i was just hanging out with people..and it just happend..and it was mindblowing good time.. \n\nso if you're going into a bar with the intention of a one night stand.. i would recommend going to somewhere you don't want to necessarily return to as the regulars will know the story..or go to wher eyo know you're going to get what you are looking for..
648090
I would not judge someones character based on fulfilling sexual needs on a 2nd or third date, but I would think tha having sex that soon, you might be thought of as a bit on the loose side.  I think I may be old fashionned, but I would think that maybe some kissing, or heavy petting (yah, how corny is that?!) could happen on the 2nd or 3rd date, but I'm not thinking sex at that point.  Well, I might be thinking it, but I don't think I would want to do it.\n\nBut it could also be that you spent alot of time using other mediums ... e-mail, IM, text messaging, telephone, etc, and that can shorten the timeframe quite a bit ... hopefully there is a good amount of honesty in those conversations.  I think that if there is alot of that, exceptions could be made where kissing could occur on the first date, as long as it's OK with both people.