Heres the deal: my current fiance has an ex he dated for four and a half years before me. They were friends last year after we got together so they talked occasionally through e-mail. She started to cause problems between the two of us last year by saying mean things about me and she dosent even know me. Then we moved to New York this past christmas (where hes from) and she connacts me through myspace cuz shes sees his picture on my page. Ive messages her a few times and she "seems" nice but keeps talking about how happy her and my fiance were. Now she has added him as a friend and is trying to talk to him too. I guess what im asking is should i just blow it off as being harmless? Cuz she claims to happy in a new relaitonship, Or should i put my foot down and tell her to leave him and i both alone?
199290
I don't know anything about myspace but I suggest (if it can be done) that you block her.  That way, she can't keep contacting you.  I fear she is a wolf in sheep's clothing.  She is after your man or she wouldn't be telling him things about you.  She may claim to be happy in her new relationship but if appears not to be true.\n\nIt could also be that she is one of these ladies that had no problems ending the relationship with your man but doesn't want anyone else to have him.  \n\nNo matter how you look at it, she is bad news and is trying to cause problems.  I suggest that both your fiance and you block her from making any further contact.  Why confront her when it is unnecessary and she won't listen anyway.  Do a block!
580561
My best advice and somewhat from my own and friend's experiences...it's not a good thing.\nI am still very close to one of my ex boyfriends but we keep it to phone conversations here and there and I believe it's possible to still be friends with someone even though you realize you don't make a good couple. \n\nThe part that concerns me about your situation though is the fact that he is spending quality time with his ex.  I don't think that's ok and if he wants to spend time with her it should be done in a group setting (if they still have the same friends) or you and her husband should be there too and make it a double date thing, that should be the only time he spends with her.  \nOr if they work together, then that would be the only other exception.\n\nI would express to him that it makes you uncomfortable and you don't think it's ok for him to continue a relationship where he invests time with her...if he enjoys her company that much than why isn't he back with her?  \n\nI would ask him to make that change and if he loves you and wants to be with you than he will understand.
68276
explain to him how disturbign and hurtful ti si to you.  its quite disrespectful.  teh only person you shoudl ever give up friendships woth ex's for is your spose.  I am only engaged and i wont speak to any of my ex;s out fo respect for my man.  Expalin to him how disrespectful it is and that you want him to stop...he wouldnt approve of you doing the same would he?
192055
Your ex is an ex for a reason...& I'm sure you remember those reasons, don't you?..So why would you look back!!...Give you new friend a chance at least, if not, move on...There's always bigger & better fish out in the sea..
534650
Well I wouldnt put myself in this situation.  Quite frankly if you dont want someone talking to their ex, you have that right and shouldnt be judged poorly.  I am not down with that either, so tell her when she is done with his problems to come and find you...if you are still availiable.
12623
Go for it. Your ex should not have any say over who you date. That's why it's called "ex."
350060
You should speak with him about it and let him know how you feel about it.  If it were vice versa, ask him how he would feel?  Don't jump to conclusions until you discuss it first.  See if he will take it off or what is explanation is first.  I know that some people can remain friends after they break up, some do not want anything to do with their ex's.  If he wants nothing to do with her, he should take her off.  Communication is an important part of a relationship.  I hope it works out.
411921
I never got that whole if I date him no one can. if you guys are over, and you agreed to see other people then get over it, your not a very good friend if you wont let her have a chance at happiness. I don't see anything wrong with it if she was a good friend, but if she just stared at you and asked you why you were mad, that obviously tells you she's kind of a jerk, she obviously doesn't care about you or your feelings, considering you just told her you were still in love with him, if I started dating my friends ex I would have at least shown that I was sorry for causing any pain, but some thins cant be helped, such as holding back feeling for a guy, dang,...  then I'm sorry but if I were you I would have brought her down. keep in mind though that if you guys are supposed to be together you will and if he wanted to see other people then maybe you deserve better, unless it was your Idea in with case, WHAT ARE YOU BITCHING ABOUT. its not fun but remind yourself of 2 things first of all that she deserves the chance at him, and second of all that you may still have a chance of getting back together with him. I got back together with mine.  Good Enough?
657588
Do not reply to his message. The emotional baggage that would ensue from you two remaining friends will blur the boundaries of having a friendship versus a more intimate relationship. If you do feel the need to reply, reiterate to your now ex-boyfriend that you wish to end the relationship and that being friends is definitely not an option. If her replies further with emails, phone calls or person to person visits, do not respond. If you see him in public, speak and go about your merry way.
352794
No way man. An ex is an ex for a reason. I'll give you a link to go to and read why you shouldn't even be talking to her. If you want any chance of getting her back go no contact. Start dating other woman and let her find out. She'll come crawling back and saying everything you want to hear. Don't buy it. She just wants what she can't have and when she gets it BOOM you mean shyt to her again. There's a 1 in 100000 chance that says she wants you back for the right reasons. Move on. The damage is done. She's damaged goods and you'll never have as healthy relationship as you think. She may say she wants to see you happy in the long run and personally you'll be happier without her. She won't allow you to move on until she's stable in her own life. Don't let her mess with you. And don't even be her friend. Until you are totally over her. Nothing you say or do is going to get her back. I PROMISE. Good luck and find you a new woman. AT CHURCH
161241
Coming from experience, and in my case, I was engaged to someone about 14 years ago and about 2 years ago, I was in my homestate for my grandmother's funeral. I came through my ex's hometown and there was alot of unresolved issues at the time he broke off the engagement without a real reason. I decided to try to find out what his story was and to wanted to know why he did what he did. I mailed a long letter, asking the questions and searching for the answers I was looking for. He hurt me pretty badly by leaving without a real reason and he got the letter and wrote back. If you do decide to contact an old ex about unresolved issues on why your relationship ended, after you get your answers, move on. Accept the answers and accept that as closure. If your ex wants to be "friends" after the both of you aired it all out, my advice would be, don't be friends. Afterall an ex, is an ex for a reason. If you try to be "friends", old feelings will stir up, you could fall back in love with that person and you'll end up paying for it at the end. My ex wanted to be "friends" and I agreed to that but here it is 2 years later, I decided it was too late to try to be friends and realized he was never a friend in the first place. What my ex did was hurtful and I decided a while back that I didn't want anything to do with him period and I ended the friendship. I realized that he was never a friend in the first place. Get your closure, get the answers you're searching for, and move on. As for your wife, she is right, you know. Why open a bag of old wounds? You're with your wife now, stick to the present, don't look back at the past. There is really no good reasons to try to "resolve" anything. As for the ex's sexual abuse, she needs to deal with that.
445287
Leave things alone and let it work itself out. You haven't done anything so if you start trying to fix it then it's only going to make you look even more guilty. He'll learn in time that you never did any of the things she said and he'll have to be the one to find a way to make it up to you. Let him see that your a stronger person then what she is making you out to be. and he will respect you more for it. I would just let him know that your not guilty but your not going to start trying to prove it to him either, and that he'll have to work it out himself. If you start having to prove things to someone you will be having to prove things to them from now on. If his going to believe you then let nature take its course. As for her why are you even friends with her. Dump her and if you do date her ex so what, that's why his her ex.
189175
Wow... this is interesting... I guess it's really none of my business, but it sounds like someone is dabbling into infidelity! Because if I remember right, I swear that you bragged about being engaged... interesting.\nAnd I'm not from Little Rock.. I'm from So Cal. My high school was called Littlerock. Since you seem to read my page like a crazy stalker I'm surprised you didn't know that.\nMy advice: Stick to your fiance and don't be such a skank!
484025
To be honest your best off ignoring it if both you and your girlfriend trust each other this should not be an issue anyway. The ex is more than likely only doing it to annoy you hoping it will cause problems so don't rise to it. She is with you not him :)
613234
You should have a discussion first with your friend.If she's doing this to you then she's not your friend but your enemy!\nAnd talk to your ex too.Tell him what you feel for him.Maybe he feels the same way.Talking to him is the only way to clear things out...
270319
Sounds like she's a little jealous.  It didn't work out between him and her so she doesn't want him to work out with anyone else.  I think it's more of a hurt ego actually.  The question is why is she so concerned about your feelings that she has to tell you about all his downfalls?  Do the best you can to just ignore it.  It doesn't sound like you two are any type of friends and she's not physically there to make it harder to deal with so when you check your emails and you see her name, just click on that little X and you're done with it.
324413
First untangle the mess you've got your life into, how you do that is up to you but if you keep going on like this you'll soon get ulsers, Second, make it clear that the rules he applys to you and to his ex are the same all the way around. By that I mean if he can see and talk to his ex without you then you're allowed to as well. Third and most important, If his ex is so caring of his emotions and he values her opinion that much then why are they apart. Let him know that you understand he has to maintain a relationship with his ex for his daughters sake but you are his woman now and his job is to stick up for you when you can't do it for yourself. (Meaning he needs to tell his ex that if she cant say anything nice about you to him then he needs to tell her to keep her opinion's to herself or had better start defending you to her. He's a big boy and should be able to handel his emotions on his own, if not then he dosent need to be dating.)