if your spouse were going to cheat, say for the reason of no sex from you, for whatever reasons, and all they WANTED from somewhere else is LAID! because you cant or wont, would you prefer to know this, how would you prefer to hear it,and would you consider it THEIR fault, even if YOU were the one to refuse to give it up?
207810
I would prefer to hear " lets get a divorce"
504478
If you want to do this now, how do you know you wont ever cheat on him again?  What do you think your soon to be husband would say if you asked him this question????  You might be surprised by the answer....
253951
you probaly cheated with your ex cause you still had feelings for him. maybe it was just to see if there was anything there. i dont know maybe the sex is great. whatever the reason is you did it. and your soon to be husband will never forgive you and you will have it thrown in your face everyday for the rest of your life. im sorry just either tell him and leave or take it to the grave. im saying this cause the same happend with me. i cheated and he said he would forgive me, but it was a never ending fight. we are seperated now.
656050
Dump the loser, when people cheat or even try to cheat (sounds like he is) they now the pain and hurt that it would cause their wife or husband and yet they choose to go ahead and hurt them without regard.  That is certainly not the definition of love.  Move on no matter how hard it can be emotionally you will be the better person for it.
421456
Well, it would have been nice had you used spell check first...\nYour question is hard to read for those of us that actually speak and write in English...\n\nSo my answer to this is, which marriage were you speaking of???\nI am on marriage number 3 and at my age it would be foolish to act like a virgin this far into my life...\nI know others that are in their 5th marriage;  you think they should wait too???\nJust exactly how much holier are you than the rest of us???\nMy previous 2 marriages had the exes walk out on me because of cheating, and I was not at fault...\nSo we should study that aspect more don't you think???\nI do not agree with your logic or attitude... Sorry...\nYou could never make it work...\nHow would you ever prove it???
200781
Ummmmmm wait a sec - do I have this straight?\n\nHe cheated on you - you forgave him and gave him a 2nd chance?  \n\nYou later cheated and he won't give YOU a 2nd chance?\n\nWell that about says it all if I have that straight.. he doesn't want to give you that 2nd chance because this is HIS way of getting out and 'blaming you for it'.  I bet he has another 'side'.... I'm so sorry, and realize that you have already punished yourself enough, and that you TRIED to be honorable and tell him the truth, and if you could forgive him and he won't you, he's being a JERK!  I'm sorry /comf!
287756
How was the rest of the relationship?  There's much more to a marriage than not cheating.  Did you appreciate her or take her for granted?  Love on her or hit on her?  Listen to her or ignore her?  Care if you made her happy or content because you were?  Many things can make a relationship go astray.  Step back and take a look thru her eyes.  \nAnd then there are those that just don't appreciate a good think or know when they have one.  Which one does this describe?
42214
If your wife had sex frequently before marrying, I sure do hope that you found out about this before you married her and that you have accepted her regardless of her past.  \n\nAs for having sex with her ex-husband, I also sure hope that she did this before she was into a relationship with you. If she had sex with her ex-hubby while married to you now, THAT IS A PROBLEM.
106730
Hey man I know where you are coming from. My wife just told me that cheated on me with another man about 2 months ago. I went nutts, but not too bad. Luckily she told me at our preachers house. After she told me I did not know what to do. Because in the bible it states that that is the only reason for divorce. I sat down and talked with her and the preacher. We agreed that we would stay together. I wanted to leave her but then I didn't. I love her so much, and not only because we have kids. I am still having a hard time getting over it. Like I said it has already been 2 months since she told me and I still can not sleep nor trust her. There are still times when I want to leave but I can't because I love her too much. Also you don't want to go out and do the same thing she did. It won't do any good, except have a burden on your shoulders. Just hang in there man. Pray about it and see what God wants you to do. God Bless!
564749
there are many motives behind an affair,the old line it just happened is a crock of bull,it is given much thought and for men i think it's a challenge for women it is a emotional thing the sense of being needed, attractive to another man.men also need to see if they still have it some do, some don't,  some never did,regardless of the reason it is wrong.if your sex life stinks make it better try different things,being a women i can't completly answer why guys cheat but i feel it's an ego thing or maybe their spouse is truely a louse in which case she has no reason to complain we women know men like / need  sex and if we are completly against making love then let him go no man or women should be forced to live without it unless it is for a medical reason,in that case then you should find other ways to satisfy each other.
334808
i think we all( guys and girls) would rather have unprotected sex but i think only the smart ones have protected. i don't care if he/ she doesn't have any STD's, i still wouldn't unless i were married. even then, your spouse can still cheat on you.
106683
People that cheat are selfish; they don't consider the feelings of another person until after the act is done. Then they're not really sorry unless you're willing to forgive them. But don't take the blame for someone cheating one you, it's not your fault alone, you may have missed all the signs, and made it very easy to do but it's not you're fault.
241588
why on earth would you get that she's been cheating out of that? she was trying to express to you that she is worried about the lack of sex, she's afraid you are unhappy and unsatisfied with the situation and she wanted you to know that it is because she is tired and not because she doesn't want you sexually. didn't you hear what she said? why are you looking for a hidden agenda? i hope you aren't like that all the time or your marriage is going to be hell. when women talk they say what they mean, just listen and you'll have the answers  you need. she was trying to let you know that she cares about how you feel about this and you hear that she's been cheating???? wtf!
222840
well it depends on why your telling him is it\n\na) you love him yourself and want to have him\n\nB) you love her and want her\n\nc) you don't understand why he is marrying her\n\nd) you know she has cheated and not faith ful to him\n\n\nif its a.b.c don't say a word\nif its D only say something if you have the evidence to back it up\nremeber noone knows what really goes on behind closed doors and just beacuse you may think that she is not right for him does not nesscarly make that true.
410807
Reverse the situation--what would you do if you found out your husband was cheating on you with your best friend?  \nIf your answer is "I'd join in", forget I answered your question.  \nBut if your answer is something like "I'd leave him", think about the consequences if your husband ever found about your indiscretions.
275770
Why did you both cheat?  Were you married, if not, why not?  It is not a game when you have children together, grow up, keep your hormones in check and your pants on.  Do it with your spouse, by yourself, or do without!  Affairs don't just happen, it takes no effort to cheat, no effort to do nothing.  No excuse for either of you.  I feel sorry for the spawn you have brought forth into this world.
639122
I firmly believe that an affair is a symtom of a problem and you either need to face up to the issues in your relationship or leave the relationship.  If a person just cheats because they enjoy sleeping aorund then maybe the problem is that they shouldn't be married in the first place