I need to leave where I'm staying but choose to say so my boys have a father. Is it absolutly necessary?
208659
If you are staying in a relationship for your children, you are making a big mistake! I did the same thing and have regretted it since! When I left my ex-husband, it took awhile, but eventually my children were much happier. He can still be a part of their lives. Make yourself happy and your children will be happy!\nHave you ever heard the saying, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" It is very true!
243383
You can make a stand without losing them.  They may not agree with what you have chosen to do, but you can let them know that you are an adult, capable of making your own decisions and if they can't at least respect that (whether they like the decisions or not) then it is going to hamper your relationship with them.\n\nIf they start to harp on something when you are there, stand up for yourself.  Let them know that if they can't allow you to be an adult, you are going to have to leave.\n\nAs far as the weekend and calls, sigh, they are having a hard time letting go.  My guess is you are either the first out of the house or the last out of the house.  Either way it is hard for a parent to lose their child, accept they are an adult, etc.  I am almost 30, married with 3 kids and my mother still thinks of me as a child.  So it doesn't just go away, but you can manage it and let them know "hey thanks for your advice, but I can handle it on my own".  Let them know you will come when you can, call when you can, but that you have other responsibilities and commitments to uphold and you can't guarantee how often your visits will be.\n\nFor good measure though, and to make them feel important, every so often ask their opinion about something.  :)
651194
Sounds like a confusing situation you are in.  As for him, unless the court says you cannot be around during his visits she and he cant do anything, his visitation time is just that, his.  As long as he is around and wants you to be a part of his child's life and no Court has denied you being there, you can.  \n\nA court can deny you being there if you've got a bad record and she requests it directly though.... and the child doesnt stay overnight in your home, especially if you are trully married.  But honestly it doesnt happen that much.
581964
Do you really want to shake up everyone with this.  You are going to be telling a man the son he thought he had isn't his, a man he thought wasn't his, is his and most damaging is that a young boy's father isn't his father after all.  Unless there is some medical reason, leave this one alone.
457376
He's obviously an @ss, I would get some psychological help for your son as soon as possible so he doesn't end up with abandonment issues and blaming himself for his biological (only) father not wanting to see him. Good riddance to him, sorry for you and your son.
215424
Leaving a relationship does not mean that your child should have to be with out a father.. thats the first issue... you like many many other couples with children split yet still both parents maintain a healthy relationship with the child... Unless he is a terrible father then there really is no reason to take your child and split forever... Second issue, Have you addressed this to him yet? If not then that should really be your first move. Once that happens, and after ALL the horrible emotions spill out from the both of you then you will start to understand why he was tempted to stray, sometimes there are no *good* answers, but it is possible that once its addressed and he realizes that he could lose you than perhaps he will start to change the way he behaves, at that point you will have to decide weather or not to take the long journey to repairing your relationship. It wont be easy whatever you choose to do. However, you MUST address it!! even if you choose to stay with him he needs to know the hurt that he is causing you and he needs to make a choice on wheather the relationship is worth him working on. Good luck baby and I'm so very sorry to hear about what your going through. Just dont let him become the victim whatever you do.
148574
I FEEL THAT IT WOULD BE UNFAIR TO SEPARATE YOUR SON AND THE  ONLY MAN HE THOUGHT OF AS DAD, IT'S UP TO YOU AND HIM TO RESOLVE YOUR DIFFERENCES BUT DO NOT CAUSE THE SON PAIN BEACAUSE OF YOUR SEPARATION, IF HE DOES GET SOMEONE ELSE AND I AM SURE HE WILL, JUST BELIEVE IN ROMANS 8;28 AND MARK 11;23-26, FORGIVE AND GO ON.
215005
Ok, I can't find a law stating that.  My inclination is that whoever told you that is wrong.  If your son is moving and wants to stay and everyone agrees, you should be able to go to court to modify whenever you want to, no waiting period.  That doesn't make any sense.\n\nGood luck.
460135
I am not sure I am understanding what you have said in your question.  These are the points as I am =reading= them here, one at a time...but I have a hunch I'm not understanding what you meant to say.  Please correct or confirm:\n\nYou are asking if YOU have custody rights if the father is not on the birth certificate.  \n\nYou have said that the father will not allow YOU to have any visitation with YOUR son. \n\nYou have said that HE is not allowing YOU to have anything to do with YOUR son.\n\nYou have said that HE would not sign a Declaration of Paternity in the hospital.\n\nYou have said that HE was removed from the Birth Certificate.\n\nYou have said that YOU are the only one listed on the Birth Certificate.\n\nNow, to me, if you're the only one listed on the Birth Certificate and he has not signed a Declaration, you should have custodym plain and simple.  Of course, this also means that he probably also won't be required to pay any child support until you either get him to sign, get him on the Birth Certificate...and/or insist on DNA testing, but that's another story, at this point...\n\nYou need to get in touch with Legal Aid and get them working with you on the rights of you and your son.  \n\nHow old is your boy?
66283
This is a tough question. To start, i hope that whatever decision you make will lead you to happiness and that is the decision you need to make. You must take into consideration the life of your son. If you think that it is an unsave environment to raise him in, then you need to get out. I aslo believe in second chances, but after that it better not be an excuse that the person is giving to me after that. If you have already given him many chances, i think it is time to step aside, even if it is only for alittle bit, to let the situation cool so you can make a rational decision. My God help you in this troubling time. Please let me know what happens by posting a question answer statment. :-)
435031
Is the permission in writing or recorded on any court documents? If not then while I will say it is highly unethical for him do this I would say what permission??  I would be very uncomfortable letting my son move 200 miles away with a man I don't know. Also.. the visitation needs to get worked out BEFORE the move. Get it all in writing and notarized. That way if things go bad between your fiancee and his ex and it all goes to court you'll at least have that much to work with.  good luck!
168796
hey its your decision you can do whatever you want to do screw these people that say that you are too promicuious they just need to get some themselves!!! anyway i am the one that was asking about whether or not i should let my kids see their real dad ... and i agree with you ..i do let them see him whenever they want to and i will never keep them away from him no matter what my man knew this when he got married so he shouldnt have married me if he had a problem with it ..i was just trying to make sure that i wasnt being selfish!!thank you:)
519561
You are only feeling the way you do because of the idea of leaving everything that you have come to know and love. I am alot older than you I am sure, but I have moved about 8 times when I was young. We as kids had no say in where we were going and I for one hated everytime we moved I had just made new freinds. If your father feels like this is the best thing for the family and it will improve whatever lifestyle you have I say relax , go with the flow and when you are old enough to get out on your own and you really don't like where you are you can make that change. But as for right now, If it is going to make all of your lives better I say go for it. Seems like your parents are doing whats best for the whole family and KUDOS to DAD for including everyones say in the matter. Good Luck!
319247
good for you for getting out of something like that. I'm a single mother though, and the father in my case walked out on us. i have no intentions of tricking anyone into raising my kid. if i meet someone, i tell them immediately that i have child and if they don't like it hey too bad.
482166
no, i think you are doing the right thing. but, you should keep the pictures of his dad. so that when he is 18 and old enough to understand and make his own decisions, you can show him pictures of his father, so that he doesn't feel completely empty.\n\ni am a single mother due to domestic violence.
388978
Most people don't understand the situation, but I do. I also took my son and left in the middle of the night. I felt like I didn't have a choice. The thing is that I knew until we had filed for divorce that we had equal rights to the child. And I also knew I could take him anywhere I wanted to as long as I notified her as to his whereabouts. The restraining order is just to give him some leverage in court to say that you are a danger to the child, and to keep you from coming to where he is and taking the child because you  have equal rights to the child. My situation had a lot more involved than I want to talk about. Just because you can't live together doesn't have to mean that either one of you are bad people. As far as him taking the child, at least he loves his child enough to try to keep it knowing that you are not going to be together. I can't tell you that you will ever get it off your mind. If you just sit back and think about the situation and do the best you can, with the child's best interest in mind, it will be of some comfort to you. Just make sure not to do anything that will emotionally scar the child, or permanently damage your relationship with the child.
345151
Dad doesn’t have to compromise. He has every right to say NO.  You can go to court and ask for approval to move your child out of state.  You will have to convince a judge that it’s in your CHILD’s best interest to move and that it’s a significant enough reason to override Dad’s wishes.  How is you wanting to be closer to your boyfriend in your child’s best interest?  It’s not.  That’s in YOUR best interest.