hi there. All the guys i meet are the same, no car, miserable, and usually have alcohol probs. Where can I go to meet nice guys, who are intelligent, good to chat with, and can have a laugh with? Bars seem to be full of men interested in one thing, so WHERE do these intelligent men hang out????????\n  Sense of humour and being spontaneous is a must.\n  Am I being unrealistic??
204002
No, I think you are being realistic.  I think intelligent men probably hang out at bars and stuff too, but they probably aren't as brash and stand out like the others.  They are probably more low-keyed.  One way of possibly meeting some is thru your friends and family.  Hopefully, they would be a good judge of character for you.
373398
Your avatars lookin a little Brokeback Mountain-ish lol your Q caught my eye cause I go to the gay club (with gay guy friends) fun isnt it? im not gay but I have a ball I love the guys there anyway yeah try some beers...cheer up...take someone with you maybe...
179866
A lot of the good ones are staying at home wondering the same thing....where can I find her without going to a bar?...LOL, How about organizing something?....maybe you could canvass door to door in your neighbourhood...  advertising a singles event that you organize for a local charity. That way you can meet all the single guys AND be the ONLY one at the event that they ALL have already met!
529861
Hey guy.  Don't beat yourself up so much.  Maybe you are just looking in the wrong places.  There are people out there for everyone.  You will see that the Abercrombie types tend to be attracted to the Abercrombie types.  The bears are usually with other bears.  If people told you that you are cute, you probably are.  I know you have a lot to offer and the right guy will come along.  Just remember the attraction has to be reciprocal.  That's what makes the dating scene hard some times.  But it goes beyond the physical.  Find a group where you have common interests and mingle with that group.  Someone probably has a 'friend' who is gay that you might like.  Don't give up.  You need to be more upbeat and not sound so depressing.  Life is what you make of it.  I am single right now and am actually kind of enjoying the break.  Good luck.
308017
NOT in a bar, any more than heterosexuals looking for LTRs. You aren't that different from the rest of us. Bars are for one-night stands.\n\nTry one of the three churches that won't stone you to death for being "possesed by the devil" - MCC, Congregationalsist, Unitarian-Universalists.\n\nWork on a gay rights political committee.\n\nWork for a straight politician with the balls to admit you guys are human and stand up against the right-wing crazies.\n\nTake it slow, obviously. It's harder for you than for the straights; all anyone in a gym, sierra club hike, book group or night class who asks a lady for lunch risks is a turn-down. You can spoil a casual friendship fast by asking someone out if they don't play in your league.
33248
Go to places that interest you, like maybe a book store, or local band's concert. But don't try looking around a bar, b/c you'll only find guys that want one thing...Good luck!
93202
Casual dating with no commitment whatsoever?  Where do I sign up?!?  \nAre you kidding, guys love this kinda stuff.  They think they'll be able to get in your pants and then hang with their friends whenever they want to.
202614
I am a very nice guy... answering your ad for this honor of conversation. I would highly suggest gay.com for their chat rooms. All across the world, where ever you are, great men are there to chat with you. Best of luck, Jonathan
674342
Hmmm, maybe you just arent going to the right places.  I mean, if you go to a bar and you are attractive, guys dont care much about personality there, so you shoudl do just fine.  So, I guess that raises a real question- are you actually as attractive as you think?
270254
Boy, I just LUV this questions! I'm wondering the same thing.. I think they're all sex addicts (and it's a clanny 'perv hangout!') Boy oh boy. (It's not me that thinks so, eh?) I say skip the dating sites.. I can't find anyone worth a darn in this small town (of l,500) either. Everyone 'knows everyone else.' So am I really stuck or what?!? Yeah, you are sharp.. when they want to be friends, it's just sex.. (yep.) Real men wanna make you happy and take you out to dinner, a show, be considerate.. (right on!) I think you are on the right track .. don't give in!!! later
628716
ahh... finally a chance for me to share all the wisdoms i have learned by bein "one of the guys", and literally, this is ALL the wisdom... if ya wanna get laid, wait outside the bar after close. the girls who were there lookin for some dick are all gonna be standin outside, hopin to get snagged up in the last sweep the guys make on the way to their cars.
38634
I don´t really think it is bad, but maybe you shouldn´t only focus on bars to hook up  with sby , single girls are everywhere and you never know when you can meet one. bars are not only filled with singles and it has some cons such as one night stands, girls/guys who are drunk enough like not to even remember your face nxt day...join clubs get a dog and take him out on walks, go to parties even if they´re the familiar kind maybe a cousin or a friend of your friends have invited someone who can be for you.. btw internet can be good too but has some cons like everything on this world, personally I was lucky and I met my best half online and now we are happily married!
528537
I totally agree with you babe. it took me forever to find a great man, and yes.. I generalized him at first and then I realize I was wrong. There aren't really any GOOD men  out here...Where the hell are they, thats my question gurl!!!! My gosh they expect us to be queens to them and then we get treated like crap, all I ever wanted was a mant hat can stand out from these sterotypical men, and it just seems as though you have to go to another world to get what you want. But yes i agree. hopefully society will help us change these men out here, because that is how they got the way they are...society.
592583
I am basically your male counterpart...so, I will tell you where you would find us.\n\nI am sickened by the thought of the bar thing too...so meet people and just do things..let it develop organically!\n\nWhat things do you like to do?  I mean the things you do that get you around other people.  Do them and be open, approachable.\n\nIf nothing comes up, then take a class...go to talks, events that you enjoy...(I met a woman "like you" a 7 years ago taking Aikido.)\n\nDO THE THINGS YOU LIKE..someone like you will be out there doing them too!\n\nIf you liked literature, we would meet at a reading from Edith Wharton...we might discuss the richness of the simple gestures she writes about...and there you are.\n\nI have always met people everywhere I have lived.\n\nI must confess, where I am living right now (a temporary situation in a small town), I have not succeeded in meeting anyone that I would be interested in spending time with.  \n\nHowever, I have not been out much around here...there is not much other than outdoors stuff that interests me here.  \n\nWhenever I travel I meet the most spectacular people...that drives me mad!\n\nI will be moving soon...so maybe when I get to a real town!\n\nDon't be afraid.
92593
Any guy who makes an intelligent or intuitive observation about me gets points. Any guy who approaches with confidence, but without being overbearing is pleasing. Any guy who feels open enough to talk about himself, but interested in asking about me, is a breath of fresh air. Any guy who takes it upon himself to underestimate my intelligence might get a drink spilled on him "by accident."
430556
Sounds like your standards are too low if you let the last few guys use you. You need some interesting, exciting hobbies to get rid of the stench of desperation.  Plus, you'll meet interesting, exciting men while you're at it.
17118
We're a bit slow in understanding... No, in se everyone wants a guy that's nice. We're just frightened that 'nice' is all he'll ever be. A man is supposed to be an animal sometimes: It's superficial, but with a nice guy it's only guessing if he'll ever be a challenge in bed. With macho-dudes you're 'sure' of a challenge, and whenever he's sweet, it's even a bigger party, for you know that didn't com easy for him... The rough guy with the soft heart is a stayer on the market. And even when he doesn't have a soft heart, you can always pretend for your friends he has and then they think you're a winner. It's also very 'in' to complain about your guy. Some girls bond by wining. Don't ask me where that comes from. But in the end I think philosopher René Girard has an answer: 'You want what is wanted.' Tough guys get promoted a lot (e.g. by themselves or by 'cool' friends). Nice guys don't promote themselves and get promoted by parents (not really a reference, parents are those people we don't want to become like). And since you want what others you admire want,... you end up with a bully sometimes. Good to know: we do come to sence. When we get to know this nice guy and he surprises us with some unexpected male talents,... Ding Ding Jackpot!