Now let me clarify, he only kissed her, but that is still considered cheating to me.   \nThis happened over a year ago, I chose to give him a second chance, simply because I believe everyone deserves one.  He hasn't done anything wrong since then and I sincerely believe he will never again.  I love him and he loves me.  He knows what he has to lose.  We have grown since this.    \n\nBUT:\n I still get upset when we run into her.  OR someone asks me about it.  Is it always going to be like this?  Will I ever reach a point where it no longer bothers me?
214908
it will always bother you but if you believe he wont do it again then let it go and enjoy each other.....only time will tell and im sure you dont want to spend that time dwelling when u could be having a great time with him...you said u gave him a second chance,,,,enjoy him,you obviously thought he was worth the second chance
92238
The problem is not with the girl. She is not part of the relationship. Your husband has a lot of work to do to gain your trust and confidence back. HE has to show that he has changed. Otherwise, he did it once, he can do it again. It has to come from him. A solid explanation of exactly what happened and why it won't happen again.
179512
You still seem to be focused on your own feelings. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it. Why are you bringing up hurt feelings. He has said that it is over and he forgives you. You seem  to be dwelling on it as if you feel that he didn't punish you enough. Sometimes you have to accept that everything will not get the necessary 'closure' that we all need. He might be the type of person who likes to work out their issues quietly within himself. He might be one of the types of men who heal better by just having time and thought. If he feels you are pushing him so you can have some kind of GUILT RELIEF and call it closure, he just might leave. You feel taken for granted but guilty about what you did. You want closure. You feel like he doesn't love YOU. You don't talk about it (You and he). You are willing to talk. You have changed.  He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't see the change. I would be tired of you if I was him your whole thing seems so self motivated and yet you are the one who messed up. It depends on what you did because if you cheated, honey he will never forget that and you will have to either stick in there until he is ready to completely forgive you or you can let him find someone who is more interested in the word WE and not HE and I.
93730
sweetheart, it hurts alot. i've been there. you are right in not being able to trust him. it's not always the case that there always a cheater, but it's almost foolproof. if he's done it before, why won't he do it again when he finds someone else that's more attractive to him? all you can do is wait out the pain. it hurts and it sucks, but try and move on. go out, have fun, meet new guys. you don't have to get married or anything, just go out and have fun. i hope this helps you sweetie, at least a little. if you'd like to talk to someone that's been there, you can email me. poetic_disturbulance@yahoo.com
582840
"Kinda cheated"?  LOL.  Anyway, being young teens and in a relationship with "cheating" for 11 months makes me think you should both move on.  Just my 2 cents.
437430
Very, wery possible. No once aperson cheats it is higly likely they will do so again.\nAdvise him, to take caution.\nPerhaps it would be best for him since the past cheating is knowledge to forget this gal. Find him someone more stabel.\nHE could get into a bad realtionship with this gal and relly get hurt\nSounds like she wants to jump from one man to another.
362720
This is his issue, he needs to resolve this one himself...He needs to know tho, that not everyone is the same.  Because he was cheated on before doesn't mean it will happen again.  What you need to do is move on, as hard as it may seem at the present moment, in the long run it will be fore the better.  Just know this is not you, its him and don't wait, he will come back with the same issues.  \nI was in the military and i have seen oh so many times relationships end because of one or the other cheating and heck how do you know he wont cheat? it works both ways...If he really truly loves you maybe you can work things out but, know this trust is number one in a healthy relationship, no trust, no relationship....He really needs to fix himself before getting involved with anyone....
633994
Being someone that has cheated in the past I can honestly tell you it could go either way. I did before, but will never do it again. On the other hand I have had a boyfriend cheat, say it wouldn't happen again & it did. So I guess it depends on the person &/or relationship.
659317
First of all your not the scum he is. If he is cheating on her with you then he will cheat on you with someone else. Since your relationship with him has been sexual I would tell the girlfriend. She has a right to know what she has been exposed to. I am not saying that you have anything but the guy may be seeing several other women and not just you. It is also very common to be angry at the other woman and not yourself or the guy. If you look at this logically then you would see who you should be angry at. For the last two years this guy has been leading you and his girlfriend and God knows who else on. When you found out about the girlfriend you probably thought that he would dump her and stay with you. It doesn't always work that way. If you dont tell her and leave the guy you are always going to be second guessing what he is up to. You are always going to be comparing yourself to his girlfriend and you will never be happy. Telling his girlfriend would only be fair to her. You have known about her and have seen what this guy is like. Maybe his girlfriend needs an eye opener. And the guy deserves to be alone.
328479
it sounds like she takes you for granted. And even though you wont listen to this.. you had nothing to do with her cheating on you. She feels she is missing something. We cant control what someone else does, and contrary to everyones opinion.. it is not a reflection upon us when someone decides to do something for themselves. I am so sorry to hear she did this to you. You do need to sit her down and talk with her. Maybe you guys can work through this, maybe not. But you wont know until you communicate. Good luck :)
596382
He has an insecurity complex. He's hoping if he focuses all his attention on her that she will never leave him. Most of the time this behavior 'smothers' the other person & it backfires on them. It has nothing to do with you personally. It is his own insecurity. Just let it run it's course & when he comes to you bummed after she dumps him, tell him how it made you feel & how it needy he looked to all his friends. He'll agree, but prob continue the pattern the rest of his life. Sorry
99130
I'm sorry you had to go through this, I know how much it hurts when your spouse cheats on you.  I wish I could say you could trust him and that everything will be fine but the truth is he crossed a line and now that line really doesn't exist for him.  I'm sure he regrets hurting you but I doubt if he really regrets that he was with this other woman.  I tried to forgive my ex when she cheated and believe her when she said she wanted to work it out but ultimately she did it again and I realized I could never trust her again.  Trust is one of the basic foundations in a marriage and once it is gone it isn't easily repaired.  I think you need to decide what is right for you and if you don't believe you can honestly trust him again then divorce is your only option.
181043
Yep. It's worse that he still sees her...how did you find out that he cheated? Did he admit it to you or did you find out yourself? It's awfully hard to trust someone even if it was someone before you that they cheated on. Often the cheater expects and awaits being cheated on and the cycle continues.
217222
Good decision. But if it was the first time that he's cheated on you, maybe give him another chance. If not, then you don't need someone like that.
117618
first . . . your question didn't make sense . . . and if I get the gist . . . he cheated on you with her . . . \n\nSecond . . . you are to emotional . . . . calm down and relax and don't do anything stupid.\n\nThird . . . . dump him after you calm down
159710
asuming of course that ur man cheated, i`m kinda curious about the details of the infidelity, however it is common for a man who cheated to do it again, i know i have! yes i`m am a pig and i don`t deserve my girlfriend, and i know that to be certain... still she wants to be with me, go figure.  I`ve told her every single detail, and had given her a way out u know a choice!  she didn`t want it, i still enjoy a lot of her character and sense of humor and we get along just fine... except for the above.
173956
Well, I'm sorry, but it really doesn't sound like this boy has his loyalty values placed in the right spot in his mind. He toyed with this girl, let her toy with him in return, and kept secrets from you. That is definitely betrayel, and you have every right to be bothered and upset. Could you give him a second chance? Of course. Especially because he seems to be respecting your wishes now and not talking to her anymore. If he didn't care about what you wanted, he probably could have broken up with you and gone on seeing this girl. The decision really is up to you, though. If you feel like you can forgive him for this and give him another shot and staying with you (assuming that he has learned his lesson), then by all means go for it. But if you are still really bothered by this and think that it could definitely happen again, and he still has strong feelings for this girl, then maybe you should consider moving on. It would be very hard because you love him...but if he is not going to be loyal to you, your relationship would never last. And love is not very useful in a non-existent relationship.\n\nThink it over carefully. Talk with your boyfriend about what you are feeling, and see what he has to say about it. If he cares for you, there is bound to be something that he can do to make you feel better. Base your judgements off of a sound conclusion that you are certain of, and remember to do what you believe is right, and what will be best for both you and him. Sometimes decisions like this are all a matter of the heart, especially when dealing with forgiveness. I wish you luck!