My Sister Is 15 yrs Old And Has Been Talking To people On The Net, I Confronted Her, In A Relaxed And Understanding Manner, And Told Her Delete And Remove Contact With Boys That ARe Way Too Old, But She Has Recently Been Lying And If I Butt In It Would Be Showing A More Controling Brother Which I DOn't Want....She Does'nt talk To Me Or Trys To Avoid The COnversation, I See It As, \n1.If I Intervene She Will Just Find Other Means Of Hiding Her Secrects\n2.Should She find Out The Hard Way Of Life, People Cannot Be Locked Up Forever\n3.Help
210371
It shows me that ur sister is in the stage of being a rebel than to listen to her older brother which is YOU.  If you butt in her life,but it will make u look like a controlled brother for you.. Amen, I understand you too. I felt the same way with my brother years ago. Thank goodness hes still making through in this life. What i did was? Back off and was sweet talking to him about girls and be more open with him .. He became more trustworthy  and be able to share more personal questions which i didnt realized he would have gone that far than me. Of ocurse, i am his older sister. I always at best advices and suggestions and the rest is up to him. He learns more from me and looks up to me as a role model.. U see i didnt want to be a controlled sister. ITS A TOUGH CHOICE.  Let your sister go and face the real world of whats shes going through .. best be on her side and be a good brother to her . open up with advices and suggestions without scolding or controlling or commanding. Give her a story with reasons and let her think . thats how i handle my brother.  we now are best freind than before.HE told me that i was the best sister he ever had. So u can learn from this example. its hard but its their life, not ours. we had our wild days, of course!\nhave faith and keep on eye on ur sister.. Hope everything will be allright between you two!\nSmiles
392143
First of all you have every right to say that she is not allowed in your home. Especially since you have a 15 year old. That is the prime age for someone like your niece to be able to influence her. Secondly, just because she isn't high at the moment you still shouldn't let her in your home. She may not act high but could be and you would never know. Stick to your guns on this one and don't let her in your home. I know what's its like to be around someone like that and its not fun. They don't want to get help but expect everyone to be at their beck and call and when they aren't they go crazy. She will eventually realize on her own that she is losing her family. Hopefully, its not too late by then. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I hope I have helped at least a little!
633030
Would you let her if she were 15? If the answer is yes, then you don't care for her brothers more... you just don't think she is old enough yet to hang out by herself. (Which she isn't, in my opinion.)  She is trying to guilt you into letting her hang out by herself, which is unsafe. Don't let her control you! You are the parent, and she needs boundaries that she must learn to live with. Let her know that when she is older, she will be able to go to the park by herself, but that you are worried about her safety. Anyone who would say that your daughter is ok by herself at 11 is either a child themselves, an unfit parent, or a predator hoping to find a little girl alone in the park.
457635
Yes, you should tell her for 2 reasons \n1- if she ever finds out you knew and did not tell her, she will have one less person she can trust and maybe even will cut her contacts with you (I don't know your sis and how upset she might get) \n2- If your sis knows the truth she can have closure and maybe stop not trusting men (maybe far fetched) as he left because he likes guys and not because of something she did
576566
That's just sick.  No matter how respectful and nice this guy may seem he's really a total creep.  I'm 24 and there's no way in hell I would hang out with a 13 year old unless I was related to them.  It's obvious he's going to mess up your sister so badly.  Tell your parents about what this guy is doing.  Your sister may hate you for telling on her, but when she's older and more mature she'll be very thankful.  This guy can screw her over for the rest of her life, or cause her years of therapy.
122352
from what i have read , you need to tell him this is your, brother and i have brothers, as well ,as far as this woman she is a mother of a.19, year old boys are closer to there fathers, and if i read this right, a,17, year old is still by law a juvinile, at her age that is well in my opion, peverted, on her get your brother away, as others, here have told, you tell him , in my honest opion , that is craddle robbing, she is old enought to be this,17, year, old boys, mother in my opion again get him away, like others, here have told you , not worth doing something, stupd over my best goes out to your brothers, family, as for her, no commet, on , cradle robbing, ?
641868
I don't see a problem with it. I had a mate before who was afraid to talk to me bacause he started goin out with my sister and he was a couple of years older than her too. All depends on what kind of mate he is.
72280
First of all I would get my 17 year old sister out of that situation,if your Mom wants to be stubborn,let her be,but get your sister out! She didn't ask for that. Nothing is free in life,if it was,trust me I'd be first in line!!! Its time your Mom puts the needs of your sister first instead of her own!!!
511063
I'm older, and my children are older than you.  I can tell you as a parent, I'd want to know.\nIf your sister won't take steps to protect herself, then you should give your parents the opportunity.\nThe guy sounds like predator and your sister is likely attracted to the attention he give her.\nThis is incredibly unsafe for her, and could get him a host of trouble also.\nI hope you have the courage to do the right thing for your sister.
309806
Yes, of course your right...Umm since when does a snooty nosed 15 year old girl get off giving adults orders, especially to you whom she has absolutly no connection with. And because she is only a minor, there is no court on this planet that would even consider giving her any custody rights whatsoever as she has no connection with you or your child. Hell, your ex is also in the sh#t for mandatory rape, if he's going out with this girl and doing the business with her. If I were you, I would move away from all of them to give you at least a mental rest, they all sound like hicks and do you really want your child growing up around people like that. If she continues to do this, I think you need to ring the police yourself and tell them about the situation between this girl and your ex, or ring up a mental health team to come out and get her, she sounds pretty bonkers.
84463
I would only say something if you really feel the need to stand up for your brother, I would do it with them both standing right there so that way there is no he said she said crap going on between them talking about you. I would only do that under extreme cercumstances though. It matters how close you are over all to your brother, I mean if you can talk to him about anything i would definitally say something to him in private, something like dude is it just me or do you seem unhappy here lately, not really blameing her but if it is because of her he will come out and say so, if he asks you what you think i would go ahead and tell him but in the long and short of it if she makes him eat dog food on the floor every night for dinner and he still loves her, support him in his pick for a future wife. You might not like how she treats him over all but it looks like he does, maybe you havent gotten to know her well enough yet, Or maybe he hasnt, who knows. But i would definitally deal with this in a tender way, maybe your mom or dad can say something to him, or you can go to them and voice your concerns, they could probably get away with saying something to him easier then you could. I dont know ive never really been in that situation but i can see it going bad easily if its not delt with care :) I hope that helps
222388
If talking was the solution. we would not have all these pervs... trying to get with kids over the net..Preteen,teens, even so adults  seem to think people on here tell the truth, which we all know is not the case. Better to ck. now then have the detectives tell you about it after there gone...Have you checked her My Space I am sure she has one.Also try www.keykatcher.com ( I Have a teenager)  Hope it helps,moving the computer sounds good also.
477957
I would let your brother deal with her since you don't want her to come between you two.  That could potentially happen if you confront her directly and your brother picks her side.  Talk to him about what he is going to do about his wretched wife.  In answer to your other question people do sometimes change for the worse but usually they were bad to begin with and just hid it until they were comfortably ensconced.
561435
Is the cousin who is making the outcry an adult or a teen?  If under the age of 18, you are supposed to report the outcry to Child Protective Services, even if she has a history of lying or whatever in the past.  Doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to be believed.\n\nAlso, is the alleged perpetrator around children currently?  If so you have even more of an obligation to report it, to keep those children safe.\n\nStuff like this does hurt families, but it is better to deal with the problem than to just ignore it.
95621
A 21 year-old male who is allowing an individual under the age of 18 perform any kind of sexual act (whether that act involves penetration or not) on him is committing child molestation.  He is breaking the law and potentially psychologically hurting a CHILD.  And most molestation occurs within the family.\n\nInstead of talking to "lots of people" who cannot do anything about it, talk to authorities or someone who can. If that means talking to the girl's mother/his aunt, then do it.  Unfortunately, if you don't have hard evidence it will be very much a "he said, she said" situation with the possibility that you will not be believed.  If you don't have hard evidence for authorities, they won't be able to do much either.  You may have to simply go to the aunt and tell her you strongly recommend she not allow them to spend time alone together anymore.  \n\nThe sad truth about some of these types of situations is that the younger child is sometimes thrilled that they're in an "adult relationship", and will do anything to protect the person who is sexually assaulting them. Either that, or the person who is HURTING them is a family member and the child feels like family loyalty is more important than self-preservation.  The other sad truth is that loved ones of the perpetrator usually don't want to believe that "junior" or "juniorette" (yes, there are female molestors) could be capable of "something like that".\n\nStuff like this DOES happen a lot, and a lot of it goes unaddressed because no one wants to get their hands dirty... and then those who do it know they can get away with it.  Send a message to your roomie that he can't get away with it.  If he wants to experiment with his peers, then fine.  Leave children alone.
186796
There's definitely something going on and I'm sorry to say but she's no good for you. Obviously she's not really caring about how you feel about anything and is using you for financial support. And if she really loved you, she wouldn't get mad about you confiding in your brother. At least you didn't confide in another woman's vagina...for crying out loud. You have your freedom to do confide in anyone you want. Not only is she restricting you but she's also using you. You need to step back and re-examine your true feelings for her. Perhaps you're just in a comfort zone and that's why you want her back. Agree on the break and go out and clear your head. I'm sure that you'll find what you really want...listen to you heart. It knows exactly what it wants...are you listening?
251669
Normally, my advice would be to stay out of it BUT, this time, I would recommend that you say something...especially since it is your sister and she was in public not even being discreet!  Please do not confront her in front of someone though...do it  when you are alone together.  \n\nTell her that you saw her with a guy that was not _____ (her husband) and that you saw them holding hands and kissing.  Tell her that, since you stumbled upon them be accident, so can other people who know her.  \n\nDo not tell her that you saw her on someone's page...it will look like you are deliberately spying on her.  Do not include that information.\n\nYou would be not overstepping your bounds to ask her why she got married if she is going to hurt her husband and tell her truthfully that you don't want to see him hurt.  Good luck!