My fiance hasn't seem his boys in over three years and he really misses them.  Three years ago his mother died and he slipped into depression, now he is getting his life back together and we have a baby girl.  He has called the BCSE to ask for help in finding her and they said it was private information and only if he was DYING could they give it out.  He had no proof he was DYING, so that was the end of the road there.  But I see that he REALLY wants to see his boys, or at least write to them!  He use to get them every other weekend and every other holiday (court ordered) but we don't have the money to get a lawyer to get this modified and like I said we don't even know where she is.  Is there ANYTHING we can do?   I really want to make him happy and maybe let him talk to his boys by father's day and get to see them before Christmas.  We really don't have any money, so we can't even do the people searches online.  She is unlisted.  THANKS!
207605
Yeah, it may be a shady way of doing it, but if his child support is not coming out of his paycheck, I mean, if he goes and pays it, stop paying it.\n\nSave the money and put it away so that when you go to court you can pay it right away.  \n\nOnce his ex quits getting money, she will call the court and file papers.  He will get served to appear in court.  She will be required to show up too.  When he gets there, and the judge asks what is going on, he can tell the judge he was trying to find his kids.  He can tell him he has all the back money he owes, but that he had no other way to find his kids.\n\nThe judge may get a little mad, but technically if he has the ability to pay the money he owes, they won't do anything to him.\n\nAlso, if he has court ordered visitation every other weekend or whatever, and she never had that changed while your husband was going through depression, she is in contempt of court for not letting him see his kids.  But like you said, it would require a lawyer to find her.\n\nHere are some other ideas.  Try doing some google's for her or the kids.  (If I google my name it goes right to the website of where I work) Check for school web sites.  Does she have any family?  Do you have any idea what city or even what state she may be in?  \n\nAlso, you can mail a letter to her old address and at the bottom you put "Address correction requested."  Make sure your return address is on it and make sure you write the request big and bold and put some extra postage on the letter...I forget how much extra it costs.  If she left a forwarding address with the post office, they will put a sticker on the envelope with her forwarding address and mail it back to you. :-)\n\nThere are some less legal ways to go about it, such as if he has her SSN and birthdate he can try to obtain a copy of her credit report (like through the annual free credit report thing) and it will have her most recent address.  \n\nAnd you would be surprised how a little being nice can help you.  You or your fiance can try calling places she used to work.  Make up a story that sounds good, say you are with a charity or something and call her previous employer.  Say something like, "Hi, my name is So-and_so and I am with the American Red Cross.  I am trying to reach So-and-so"  They will say she no longer works there and you can ask if they know where you can reach her.  You will probably get farther than your fiance with this type of stuff because people will be more suspicious of him looking for a woman.\n\nOr try calling some of the children's old friends.  Or anyone you think might have contact with his ex or the kids.\n\nI am quite good at this type of stuff, feel free to e-mail me and I would be happy to help you.\n\nGood Luck.
491394
It is so good to see someone looking for their mother. I am a mother trying to find her daughter. I love her so much and would do anything to see her and tell her. Look in the court house where the last time you knew of her and see if there are any public records. Look in the phone book, or call the information and ask for her name. Did you know any of her family, a brother maybe? I would love to help. There are sites where you can put your name and age where thousands look for lost loves but I quit looking there because there were sooooooooo many of them. I placed a call out here where maybe someone might have heard of her. Her name was Deborah Janean Huff born oct 29 1974 in Kansas City Kansas and raised in kc missouri. Good luck sweetie.
340517
They there bubby! I gave you an answer last month regarding your BF who is in jail and demanding you send him money... I thought by now you would have left him because it sounds like he's having an extra marital affair in there, or he's paying for his drug habit... Quit sending him money now... E-mail me personally and lets talk...Been there and done that scene many times with my significant other and eventually caught him cheating on me so I left him after our 14 year relationship... He kept bothering me and wouldn't find a job and expected me to support him and finance his drug habit, so I went home clear across the State of Alaska, and you now how big our state is... Since then, I've got my life back, a new job and making more money and saving and planning on going on a vacation to meet this guy I met on the internet and hopefully take him home and start my life over again..... I occassionaly miss him and think about him but life goes on.... So I weigh the pros and cons of our past relationship and stop thinking about him and pat myself in the back for taking my life back towards the positive side and don't plan on returning to him... I used to go to the library to use a computer to check my e-mail, but since then I have been able to buy my own computer and alot of other things that I couldn't buy when I was with him..... I look forward to hearing from you Tracer and think positive and things will work out for you.... Otherwise do you have IM/chat so we can talk without having to wait for each others reply? So let's chat and come up with some alternatives to ease your pain.... I have yahoo messenger...
415895
I don't know what I can say that will help you but I can reassure you that you are not the only one. My ex disappeared for the first 6 yrs of my son's life and then reappeared acting like he was the best dad in the world. He constantly contradicts what I say (ex.: my son has dental sealants and can not have sticky candy because it will rip them off but he insists my dentist is a head job who doesn't know what she is talking about, he also tells him he doesn't have to listen to the stupid things I say, that my son doesn't have to be responsible for anything -he's 10, and so on). He also created a tape using one of his friend's to play for my son. The contents consisted of this impersonator telling my ex that I did not love my son, I did not want my son, my ex could keep my son, etc. My ex also has no problem with my son seeing pornographic materials lying about his household. My son told of this and more to a Children and Youth Services agent who told me even though what my ex was doing was inappropriate it was abuse. Now for the grand finale, I stopped my ex from seeing my son for 3 months because he informed me he moved back in with his child molesting mother whom my son was to have no contact with and while the investigation was taking place and I was trying to modify the custody arrangement. During this time he filed contempt charges against me, initially sending to the wrong address (one that didn't even exist) so I missed the first hearing. I later received a visit from a constable telling me if I didn't go to the next one I would be sentenced to jail. I had proof that he sent it to the wrong address before we had the hearing. At the hearing my ex couldn't decide where he was living or for what amount of time, stated I had denied him my son longer that occured, and brought forth info that his mother was recently forgiven for molesting her sons (my ex and his brother). The judge decided that he knew my ex had lied about the extended time but I was also in the wrong because I should have known (even though I lacked the resources to find out and frankly my ex should have informed me since he knew, I forgot we are still supposed to wipe their asses even after we are no longer together) that his mother was forgiven for her most heinous act and that he was no longer living with her. Never mind the fact that we had contact since I stopped letting him take him  and my ex could have mentioned it, never mind the fact that my ex couldn't even figure out where he was living, and never mind the fact that not once did I tell my ex he could not see him, that he could not take him, I WAS STILL IN THE WRONG. I was in the wrong for trying to protect my son. My fiance summed it up nicely, the courts are currently favoring the men. The court does not take the child's welfare into consideration just what they want as they are deciding.
457376
He's obviously an @ss, I would get some psychological help for your son as soon as possible so he doesn't end up with abandonment issues and blaming himself for his biological (only) father not wanting to see him. Good riddance to him, sorry for you and your son.
672522
None .  I'm sorry you have to go through something like that . I will remember you in my Prayers tonight . My kids went through that and now they don't speak to him b/c of empty promise's on his part .But my kids are fine and they have a awesome father in there life that Loves them more than words can say . I pray that is what will happen in your life . May God Bless and Keep you in his warm embrace . Rest in knowing that he is the one missing out not you.
194535
Please re ask question, complete with son's name and area of the world...I'll do my best with what you;ve given me but more specifics would help channel energy directly - So thoughts to Irina , blessed be, help for you and your son right now to get through this lifethreatening time. Please know how much you are loved that, how much you are neede here, we pray for you and ask for recovery and help ffrom your spirrits to make this be right for you your son your family and friends .
396028
Bonjour, and so sorry, how hard it must be. You have been through a lot of hardship, and your boys. Your question stated that your boys are anti american. But really you know that this is a symptom of a larger problem not about America. This is about your boys' grief which boys are not socialized to express or handle. Your boys were abused or witnessed abuse. They are suffering inside. They have split loyalties between you and their father. How terrible it must be for them to feel that torn. This points to the amount of denial your boys are in regarding the abuse. Kids love and idolize their parents and blame themselves often for the problems of the parents. This is a survival mechanism of the human. On top of this they are taken away from anything they felt they did have control over in their environment-their old schools and friends. Their way of life. Their language. Their culture. You cannot make them love America, or love your new husband. I think you all need family therapy (excluding your new husband for now) or maybe the school counselor can help. Ultimately, do not oppose them or give them Shoulds and musts" but join them in their sorrow, their pain, give them the words that they have been denying. Honor their reality. It is as real as yours. Not wrong. Just different. You are trying your best to give them a good life, I am sorry they don't have the emotional maturity to understand this. But actually, if they are behaving badly it is because they feel safe with you-an honor and a privilege, but very difficult. They are communicating their deepest and darkest pains with you in the only way they know how. Love them in and through this, and seek counseling for yourself if no one else will go. Love yourself for being courageous and the mother that is there for them when the father was being abusive. Good luck sister.
114917
i know this is a hard situation, but think of the kids. if he doesn't want to see them and doesn't even feed them when they go, don't send them.  it will be very difficult for them but in time they will see that he is very bad for them and they are better off without him.  kids are resilient, be strong and be there for your children and love them a little extra to fill the void in their lives they may feel at the moment.  god bless and my prayers are with you and your children.
372651
sorry to hear about your loss.  his spirit could be lingering...unresolved issues with family members who are still grieving, maybe.  it's hard to say.
659823
I know I still don't know what exactly happened, his "brother" David hasn't got back to me!  I didn't know him really really well but we have been talking for about 3 weeks now!  What a sweet guy!  Very caring about his friends!  No matter how busy he was he always found time to say good morning!  Or he would just write to say hi!  What a shame we lost such a nice guy!
137714
Sunflower- hon don't feel bad about that! You need him to come home- your kids need him to come home! I think it is a shame the Govt. doesn't pay for it! God wants them to help you! It is ok sweetie! If I had money I would send it to you too! I know how much you all miss him- he misses ya'll! I thank God for people helping you! I hope he comes home soon- tell him I said Thank-you for all he does for us! I appreciate HIM! Bye, have a lovely day! cloeen
532077
I personally haven't heard of this website before, but as soon as I finish this post I'll try it out. As a person who has had experience with that ruthless, relentless, egotistical and corrupted agency, I feel as though something needs to be done about them yesterday! I have nothing good to say about them, at all! \n\nYes, a system like cps is needed, but I'll also be the first to admit that with the way the agency is now, it could stand to be shut down for repairs and a overhaul! Since my kids were taken back in March, and I've dealt with the cps system, I have never seen such a group of  lying, power tripping, and corrupted people in my entire life!\n\nIt is a miscarriage of justice for the things they do to some families and get away with. I have witnessed it first hand myself and it blows me away. They treat you like you are guilty before you've even gone to court! They lie and twist the truth so bad that you have lost before you are given a fair shot at winning your case. And the poor kids, they are shuffled from one foster home to another, while the sorry a$$ social worker sits back and thinks of more hurdles for the parents to jump over before she/he decides to let you have even your basic rights as the kids' parents!\n\nThe foster parents are no better and if they have taking a liking to your kid(s) they will work alongside the social worker to do any little thing they can think of to make it harder for the parents to get their kids back. (eventually hoping to be able to adopt the child- if things head in that direction) They show up late for the vistations, if not cancel them all together! any flemsy excuse they hand to the social worker  for the late or missed visitations is good enough for her or him. Oh and also, when the visitations are missed, or the foster parents show up late, the visits are not made up or extended, the parents just have to suffer the time lost to see their kids! The foster parents watch and listen to every little thing you say, then go back and twist it to their advantage, trying to make it look like you're incompetent as hell to raise your own kids!\nMy favorite foster parents are the ones who've never had kids, but are "experts" on how to raise kids (yours too) and how to take care of them! That one still makes me laugh! \n\nBut to answer your question, no, I think we as regular folk don't have the power to do anything that would be sufficient enough to put cps in their place! No, this needs to be looked at on a congressional level, then and only then would some action start being taken against cps. Sounds easy enough, but it isn't! The hardest part is getting those big wigs in the office to admit that there is a problem! Until then, millions of home wil be broken up by C.P.S (like someone else said it, Child Punishment Services)
33225
Hey, why don't you try puttting this information on the News or Unsolved Mistery, or give it to the police, OR namesdatabase.com, they might be able to help you find your children. \nAre you sure, they're still carrying the same name and your surname. By the way,(where were you for all this years)& (why are you looking for them only now).\nAnyway, just want to say: Good Luck in your search, and Pray to God, he will assist you in finding your kids by faith you'll find them.\nAll The Best AND God Bless!
196840
e mail him see if you get a response call he poloce and put up a missing person add if it's that bad
669029
have  you tried going through the adoption disclosure agency and registering with them.    I'm not sure where you live, but i contacted the one in toronto, On, and they found my birth mother but she didn't want to see me and i haven't seen her in 45 years.  My e-mail address is devon_46@hotmail.com if you need more information about the agency and live in or near the toronto area
386601
Cas in Canada lie.Group homes are privately run. These places get major federal$$$ per child. They answer to no one. If they can hold child for one year "voluntarily" Then they are wards, in until 18.  I have heard of so much abuse of power it staggering. The only possible way for her to get children back is hire lawyer. In a second they stop all the Bull and back down.  All kids I know of in care were bullied by CAS into voluntary custody for 3 months. Back ground checks is an excuse to track down anybody u have ever known and probe and spin things.  Legal Aid covers lawyers for this situation.\n       CAS has no thought of giving kids back, marriage or no marriage. Most likely they will just start talking to everybody who has ever met you. They are free dismiss good things and exaggerate any bit of gossip from any anonymous source .