I am 20 years old and afraid to have an orgasm. I have tried vaginal, oral, clitoral,g-spot, and just about anything including toys. I can get right to the point that I feel I am gonna explode, then I break down and cry hysterically, because I am afraid. Not that it is painful or anything, I am just a chicken, and my partner and I have virtually no sex life now, b/c of it. HELP please!!!
205377
Why are you scared? What is it in particular that scares you about it? Is it that you feel like you won't be in control? Are you afraid that you might embarrass yourself when you have an orgasm in some way?\n\nYou need to work out why you are scared, and work on the underlying cause. All I can suggest is that you try to relax. A glass of wine, a nice bubble bath......try masturbating while you're in the tub and feeling relaxed. Maybe even ignore that fact that you're crying and scared and continue anyway???\n\nHonestly, there is NOTHING to be afraid of. It's such a good feeling, and I feel bad for you that you're missing out on it!! If you're scared of embarrassing yourself, then try doing it on your own, where no-one will see your reaction. If this continues, you may want to consider seeing a sex therapist as someone else has suggested.
119558
when you are having sex ,just imagine your past foreplay.if it doesn't work then, meet sex therapist b/cos you may have organismic dysfunction.
447164
This is definitely an issue that you should address with your gynecologist.  You need to be sure that you are speaking with a doctor that is concerned with your issue as well.  Often times, women have to find their nitch (so to speak).  You have to find your best way to obtain an orgasm.  Try experimenting with yourself.  Toys, massaging shower heads, etc...\n\nAlso try visiting a website called www.talksexwithsue.com.\n\nI found that she is very informative and knowledgable about all things that have to do with sex and orgasm.  she also has a show on Oxygen you might want to check out.
542442
why would you be afraid of a good sex drive. what you need to do is find a woman who shares your passion, and no matter what hey may claim, there are ALOT of healthy young women out there that have a very srong sex drive and feel the same way that you do
360665
How long have you been trying? Both in the sense as to how long ago you started masturbating, and how long do you mastubate for?\n\nIf your clit is starting to hurt, then you are applying to much pressure. Just rub it lightly, you can also try using a lubricant so that your fingers just glide over it. Try vasiline, or lotion if you don't happen to have any KY around the house.\n\nAlso you need to have plenty of time, trying to rush yourself to an orgasm will always leave you frustrated.
332180
Just like everyone has a different favorite color, everyone has their own technique that works for them.\n\nYou will have to keep experimenting until you find the thing that works best for you.\n\nSome basic pointers – a vibrator usually helps a LOT – and not thinking about having an orgasm is essential – you can’t force it – keep thinking about whatever your fantasy is and it will happen.
574195
I have orgasms in my sleep all of the time.  That is because for me orgasms are mental, emotional and psychological.  Penises don't get me to have an orgasm.  A tongue, fingers, but not penetration.  I think this is very very common.  Only about 32% of woman can orgasm with penetration alone.  Did you ever wonder why the clitoris is on the outside?  It is because we are designed to be sexually stimulated without the penetration.  Some women can have orgasms with penetration, but its about 3 out of 10.  \n\nYou can try a few things.  You can have penetration and have him or you stimulate your clitoris during sex.  You can try different positions where his pubis rubs against your clitoris during sex.  You can read the Kama Sutra positions and experiment.  But don't put yourself down because of your anatomy.
488223
Have more time for forepaly rather than intercourse.\n\nYou are absolutely right that this is a question a lot of women have. They are looking for the "Look, Ma! No hands!" orgasm. According to Shere Hite, only 30 percent of women orgasm through penile thrusting alone. This is not about failure — this is about anatomy. Consider this: when a man masturbates, he stimulates his penis, which is loaded with nerve endings. During heterosexual intercourse, his penis is stimulated in a similar manner. For a woman, the nerve endings are concentrated in the clitoris. (There are as many nerve endings in the clitoris as there are in the penis!) During intercourse, her vagina is stimulated, but her clitoris is not. The woman who orgasms through intercourse alone may be feeling pressure from her partner's pubic bone, or feeling sensation from one partner's hand touching her "love button" or clitoris. Another way women orgasm with their partners is by masturbating in front of, or with, them. In that way, there is a bit less pressure on intercourse, partners can take a risk with each other, AND partners can teach each other how they like "it." Remember, sex is not inherent — it's learned. \n\nIf you have other questions, try reading Lonnie G. Barbach's, For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality, or Shere Hite's, The Hite Report. Barbach developed and ran therapy groups for pre-orgasmic women. The value of Hite's book is reading about women who describe their experiences in their own words. Have fun practicing!
72991
You have sexual anxiety that stems from this abuse earlier in life.  You  need to not be afraid to seek professional help in this matter.  Seeing a psychiatric professional does not make you crazy, or weird... and it shows that you are ready to get past the situation.  Until you can bring the topic to the surface and accept it then you will have intimacy issues for the rest of your life.  Please do not be afraid to seek help for yourself, because every minute that you avoid it is a minute of your life that you are allowing the sick and twisted individual that abused you to continue to control your life!  The longer this goes on, the more you are relinquishing your life to this horrible situation... swallow your pride and act on this before you waste anymore of your life living in fear
646365
What is an orgasm?\nIn 1953 a well-known therapist defined it as "an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tension". There are other definitions, but the word 'tension' comes up in most. Which suggests that when you have sex you deliberately wind yourself up just so that you can experience the pleasure of returning to normal afterwards. Bizarre!\n\nWhat happens in the body?\nThe technical stuff that creates all this tension is pretty amazing. \n\nYour heart pumps faster and your breathing gets heavier to fuel those tensing muscles.\nHormones such as endorphins and oxytocin are pumped round your brain and body, telling you this is fun.\nBlood is pumped to your genitals to create the tension that will ultimately trigger a pudendal reflex (muscular spasm of the genitals).\nThat reflex will result in your pelvic-floor muscles contracting between five and 15 times at 0.8-second intervals. This is an orgasm as we know it.\nA wandering neural pathway that bypasses the spine has recently been discovered, explaining why some paraplegics say they can experience orgasms.\nWhat an orgasm isn't\nAn orgasm should never be the objective of sex. You can have a great time with a partner, feeling aroused, sensual, intimate and loving, and not have an orgasm. Yes, it's fun - but unless you're trying to get pregnant it shouldn't be your primary goal.\n\nYou can't make someone have an orgasm. What you can do, besides physically stimulating your partner, is create a safe, comfortable and caring environment for them in which an orgasm might happen. \n\nOrgasm is not limited to the genitals; some people can experience orgasm without their genitals being touched. Some people describe the sensation as a "tingle"; for others the feelings go all over the body.\n\nFaking it\nWhy do some people - male and female - fake orgasms? Maybe because we tend to see orgasm as the signal to stop sex. If, for some reason, your mind or body doesn't fancy an orgasm you could be at it forever.\n\nMost people who fake it do so to please their partner. They feel they're letting them down if they don't make it. Instead of pretending, try and create a relationship where, if you're not in the mood or you've lost the momentum, you can say so honestly. \n\nQuality not quantity\nWe tend to make a huge fuss about orgasms in our society. Most articles about enhancing your sex life focus on improving orgasms or having more of them. But the intensity of an orgasm is not an indication of sexual satisfaction. If you want a good orgasm, you can do it yourself. If you want a satisfying sexual relationship, you'll need a lot more. \n\nIn psychosexual therapy, people are told about the 2-6-2 rule. Out of every ten times you have sex, the chances are that twice it'll be fantastic and mind-blowing, and the earth will move; six times it'll be nice but nothing special; and twice you'll wish you hadn't bothered.
412609
There is a way. It is a secret you learn from experience. You see orgasm is a physical thing with men. But women are a little bit more tricky its a mind and body thing both have to be on the same page. Try on top if you are waiting for him you will be sixty by the time you orgasm. On top you can accomplish clitoral and cervical stimulation by a rocking back and forth motion you will have to determine how slow or fast. but again I say you have to be mentally motivated. Good Luck.
123308
Well, let me tell U that I was in your shoes for many time, I had sex and it always felt good, I had orgasms but not during sex, I was so desperate, and frustrated, but one time I had sex with my bf and nothing happened that time, still he didn't give up, and continue doing things to make me get the orgasm.  After three months of having sex with him, and we had tryed almost everything, he told me that I needed to focus on the point, I mean, when I was doing it, I always was thinking in something else, and that didn't make me feel good.\nI found that the way to get the orgasm was being on top, so I did it, in the beginning it was really difficult, but at the end it happened.\nSo, my advice is: focus on the point that U're gonna get it, think that U can get it, no matter your past experiences, if U trust on yourself U'll be able to experience it.\nI'm telling U this, because now I can enjoy it, I have an orgasm during sex and in other situations, like o.r.a.l. sex, been m*stur*b*ated by my bf or myself. and it feels really great.
614428
Virgins on a wedding night are rare, indeed!  I was one.  Many people had some good advice for you, but there's something I don't agree with.  Just because your fiancé has had sex, doesn't make him an experienced lover.  The bottom line is that he's not yet had sex with YOU...therefore, he is inexperienced.  Every woman is different.  \n\nYour fear is most likely rooted in 1) the unknown...the "big mystery;" and 2) ignorance (I don't mean this in a bad or critical way.  I'll explain what I mean.)\n\nThe "unknown" will remain that way until you've joined with your husband.  But even after that first time, it will *still* be mysterious because you'll both have SO MUCH to learn about each other and about yourselves.  What you like, what you dislike, what really gets you going, what makes you giggle, etc.  Have fun learning all that stuff!  You're in this together.  Communicate with each other.  :)   \n\nIgnorance - Maybe you're scared in part because you have no idea what to expect.  Maybe you don't know your own body yet. This isn't something to be ashamed of; it's just a matter of fact.  The remedy for this is education.  You and your fiance should read about and discuss together what to expect.  How a man's body works, how a woman's body works, etc.  Talk with each other about your fears, expectations, desires.  And honey, do yourself a favor.  Examine your body.  Use a mirror if you have to, but get comfortable with yourself.  The more comfortable you are with yourself, and the more you understand about you and your husband, the more confident you'll be that first time around and the more fun you'll have exploring!  ; )  \n\nNow everybody told me I'd feel pain the first time.  I didn't.  Not a bit.  That was partly because I had umm...can I say this on here?  Well, I had an accident as a child that did away with "the veil that causes pain."  You know what I mean.  But sex can still be painful if you are not properly prepared...i.e. turned on.  This is where reading a book on the subject can help you.  Understanding precisely how your body functions internally and externally goes a long way to dispelling some of the mystery and fear.  And if you're properly "prepared," it's not going to hurt. \n\nSo, read together, talk together, talk to close trusted friends, and then finally relax and give each other the freedom to explore and learn.  Wishing you joy and much love.  : )
378037
hi mahe \nmy dear young boy, u r very intellegent, brilliant science bio. student having more than 80 percentage marks in XIIth standard, what u have asked earlier, i have seen all and what u have replied, i also seen all those. u should not worry about your anxieties regarding sex and sexual activities, it is very commen at your 20th age. masturbation is also not bad, but if u can control it, then it is better, even if u can't control it, don't worry, it is alright. i will also suggest to do masturbation to get rid of tension, whenever u feel. so don't worry all about this.\nfurther, i will advice u to prepare yourself for your cpmt, aiims etc. exams, so u can reach your goal to becoming a doctor, when u will be a doctor, u will answer to others about these things.\nwith best of luck for your enterence exams towards MBBS
141099
The more intercourse you have the better you get at things. If there comes a time where you are about to orgasm, pull it out and place your thumb over the head. It sometimes works. Have you tried foreplay first? Give that a go as well. Sometimes that makes you orgasm sooner than expected as well but if all fails there is always viagra.  It could come down to yourself being too eager as well. Take things slow and in time you will get better at it. All the best and hope you find the right solution to your problem.
178479
scared of what??? girl you better spread those legs eagle wide and let him put his face in it. that's the best feeling in the world. just relax and the orgasms are great.
6840
Don't have sex if you are not enjoying it. Don't get drunk just to have sex.\n\nIt might be that you have some sort of aversive feelings, maybe a phobia. It is not typical. I suggest you go to a reputable therapist and talk about this. It seems to be impacting your life and you will feel better if you can figure out some about it.