Whenever my gf gets angry,she looses her control and always talk of breaking up,but after I talk to her for some time then again she becomes very normal as before.What should i presume from all this?Will this relation work in future? (She has introduced me to her parents as her luv)
199481
Hey!!! Ur case is really a love dilemma <wink wink>...To be honest with you, that relationship will not work in the future....One thing is that ur gf get angry at you and begins to say things....But the eternal threating of breaking up with you is well...lame....She is just trying to make u feel bad..\nDon't let her play with ur feelings!!! If she really loves u, then she should not be saying that kind of thing...Even if she is mad.....Plus, she is not apologizing for being so bitc**** with you!!!! I know that she has her feelings and that she gets mad, but hey!!!! THere are two involved and dancing that Tango....She should consider your feelings too!!!!\n\nGood luck!!!
644006
She needs to be sure, this won't happen again. She is not sure if coming back home will prevent her of going through this experience again. It seems it was very traumatic to her, she doesn't know if Worth to investor insist on this relationship...perhaps the pain caused to her was almost the size or bigger than the all pleasure she has of being with you. She is confused and trying to figure out, what she feels about you, love or disappoint.\nTraumas, change  people feelings pushing them to be more protective.\nYou can't expect that after a very ugly fight with psychological trauma, she simply come back home and you guys get together again. People need time to heal.\nI think you are in a very bed situation, sorry to say that.\nIt seems you are very close of loose her if you haven't lost her yet. Now, if she comes back, you will need to rebuild her trust on you again, for she open herself for you again and the love float.\nAnother thing, I think you should take some time to think about the fight too and reflect, because someone whom really cares about another, shouldn't have the behavior you are having, or you are immature and have no knowledge about peoples feelings, or about yourself. Don't think I am offending you by telling you are immature, I am just trying to help you and as I always say, honesty is the best option to find the right solution for our problems.
121359
My friend, it is very normal.  You love her and she loves you.  The only reason that it doesn't get resolved before you go to bed is because neither one of you can step down off that high horse in time.  And venting every once in a while is not a bad thing.  As long as the love that you both feel for each other is still there.  If you don't have that then you don't ahve anything.
602107
Have you tried to talk with your girlfriend about how you feel? When my sweetie feels like nothing is special, she talks with me and says "I miss when we used to ..." or "I feel like we are in a rut, do you think so too?" She usually gets the ball rolling and brings her dissatisfaction with the status quo to my attention. You can do the same. \n\nAnother idea is for each of you to list all the things you like and don't like about the relationship and compare your lists. You probably already know this, but when sharing your lists, do so in a positive and non-confrontational way.\n\nThen again, if this all sounds like too much work, figure out what you would like in the relationship and talk with her about that.\n\nJC
422531
How old is the girl...perhaps she feels she is not ready for more...\n\nI sugguest that if you are both of legal age then you sit her down and talk to her, lack of communication is one of the biggest factors in relationship breakdowns...maybe she is just waiting for you to make the move...perhaps she thinks your not ready yet...or maybe she believes no sex before marriage...\n\nit could be a wide range of things...talk to her....
263715
She still loves you. But the difference is that she's not in love with you. Sometimes pain and disappointment is so great till it's not worth the salvage of the relationship.\n\nYes, she angry because of the hurt and doesn't want to be in this situation anty more than you do. Just give her sapce and take care of your responsibility.
25757
Communication is so totally the cornerstone to a relationship....I mean...a *good* relationship.\n\nI've been on both ends of this; fed up and worn out from not getting along and all the tension.....and on the other end....to just be with a cold-hearted woman. It hurts both ways, but for different reasons.\n\nThe communication that I was referring to could be.......maybe your 'ex' is just not in tune to you and what you feel, and when you feel it. That may or may not be his fault. Meaning.....he could either be emotionally barren (his fault), or you could give him unclear, conflicting messages (not his fault). But anyway, he may not really know you are at that level of sadness *until* you cry. Up to this point he may think you are being mean or cold to him, to which he responds to you in kind.....not understanding what's going on in your mind or heart. When guys get angry....I'm *kind of* like this too (to a degree)....we like to blow up, be left alone, and then later.....we're cool,\n\nHe may have interpreted your reaching for him as 'tenderness' when he wasn't in the mood for tenderness. He may have felt frustrated by the sentiment change....arguing one minute and then a display of love the next.\n\nI'm not discounting the fact that....he could just be a flaming jackass.\n\nWhen it was blatantly obvious he had hurt you tho, maybe the nice feelings he actually does have for you were touched and he wanted to offer compassion.\n\nI doubt his feelings are fake. Communication of feelings and thoughts are so important. To learn and understand how someone shows their love, and then accept that as it is given instead of trying to change them to give it the way we want it. People have to talk honestly, not laboriously, but to just talk....have fun, and pay attention and really learn who each other is as a person and how they communicate.\n\nSometimes it *is* best to go separate ways, and if that happens to you, I'm sorry for you both, but that means the person you (both) are meant to be with is still out there somewhere.   :)\n\nEither way I wish you both luck. Relationships are a tough gig.
656278
By being honest and stubborn and even if that hasn't worked yet, it will. I'm sure she knows you care for her and wants to be with you, but there are probably tons of reasons why she just can't let herself trust you. Oh and don't ever threaten to leave her unless you really plan on going through with it completely and NOTHING she can say will change that. Especially if that is something that she fears.
637982
I would let her know where you are coming from. It also depends on what level you are with this person. Are you married? Girlfriend? Dating? In any case, you should let her know where you are coming from and that you want to come to some kind of understanding on how you are going to resolve the issue. \n\nP.S.\n\n2 wrongs do not make a right. Communication is key here. Talk it out.\n\nAdditional Details\n\n1 second ago\nOur relationship is very good because we communicate and everything its just sometimes she says the wrong things and I let her know . . . . eventually\n\n\nMy response: It appears as though she is not to sure how to communicate her feelings and in turn says things that hurt you. She also could be saying these things because she is unsure of how you feel so she is trying to get a REACTION out of you. SHE NEEDS REASSURANCE. Communication is still key.
173708
I think there might be some mental disturbance. Both of you need to see doctors, it happens sometimes in such relationships, as you would admit its kinda different then normal. More over are you sure you are completely healthy?
560235
Hey, hun. I went through that. It was like we never broke up.  After talking we decided to pretend it never happened. Now she and I regret it. But talk to her. You both probably want to get back, a fight shouldn't be the reason you break up.
617194
Maybe it was a stressful day and she is over reacting because she doesn't know how or where to take her frustration out.  It would be easier to think all her problems would be solved by a simple I'm sorry (even if you dont mean it) than for her to go on thinking she's alone in a very very stressful world.  Try that tactic.  Choose your battles.  Some are just not worth the fight or the outcome.\n\nI do think she is over reacting.  I don't think you should be angry that she doesn't know where to take her frustration out.  Just say I'm sorry and enjoy having her as your love for yet another day.
29679
That happened to me and it was the end of the relationship.  We met in college, had a long-distance relationship, then together for several months, then she moved 4-5 hours away after getting fired and getting a better job.  She wanted to marry, or at least live together openly, while I knew I couldn't marry her (too neurotic, too much fighting) and tried to hold on to the passionate girlfriend/boyfriend relationship indefinitely.  So it had been a holding pattern for several months, and her moving didn't really change it.  Soon she told me of reciprocal interest with a co-worker, which in retrospect I think was trying to drive me off, but I didn't bite and was actually friendly with the jerk.  Finally she said, "I think we ought to cool it and date other people".  I was in shock, but I remember what came out was, "You mean you want to break up?"  I don't remember what she said but the upshot was I wasn't going to share and she didn't try to work out a sharing arrangement.  Eventually she married the jerk.  I got an invitation to the wedding but I never answered and broke off contact.\n\nSo through the lens of my life experience, the relationship is on its last legs and you're looking for the kill.  I think the more honest and humane approach would be to present an ultimatum to get off of hold or break up, or just leave if you're not committed enough to force that issue.  It may seem cold, but it's better than getting into the jealousy thing with other guys.  I know being left for another man was much harder on me than being left out of general dissatisfaction, and it killed my interest in follow-up friendship (that part might be a blessing).  Someone else's story might have a different moral.\n\nGood luck,\nhouyhnhnm
475109
I guess you need to talk to.....YOURSELF!\nAsk yourself a few questions like:\nWhy do I want to be with someone who brings out my anger?\nWhat makes me hold onto a failed relationship?\nWhere is my anger coming from and who is it really directed at?\nWho else makes me feel so angry?\nDo I want to keep this pattern going or am I ready for change?\nIts really hard to change choices in men, and it takes a great deal of personal insight, so get to work!
204074
First of all, he has to earn your trust.  His actions, especially when he gets mad at, appear to be what erodes that trust.  I think you two need to talk about how you handle such things as fights and disagreements before you start living together.  Every couple has to define what is acceptable and what isn't.  I think if you can find trust during the times when he is mad then the rest will follow.
566467
Ask yourself if you can trust her. If you can't, regardless of if she is truly being honest or not, then how can you have a healthy relationship? It sounds like there have been issues with trust with her in the past, and games to make each other jealous. Is that the kind of relationship you want to have?
601175
Okay, here's the thing...\n\nI've had one relationship with a girlfriend where I felt that I was deeply loved and that love was also reciprocated by me.\nIt comes down to the old nagging cliché. She used to hen-peck me all the time, and I'm sure I did the same to her to in my own way. But my point is, when you do have a fully reciprocated and loving relationship, you care about those comments, propbably trivial things most of the time but sometimes more significant. Because I loved her (and trusted her) it mattered deeply what she thought of me and I would be prompted to change. Maybe not immediately, maybe there'd be an argument and doors would be slammed and sofas spent the night on, but when you calm down and it all percolates down, you want to be that much better, for them(!), so you change.\n\nIn summary, we all are in a constant state of flux, of changing from one day to the next due to the experiences we have. But a loving relationship provides you with a mirror, to see who you are in others eyes and where you need to improve. And because you love that person and trust their judgement, you accept those criticisms and act accordingly. And it can only work well if it's mutual.\n\nJust to complete the story of the girl - we split up! :( She was going on from uni to work a year in France and 2 or possibly 3 years in Japan, we agreed between us that it would be heart-breakingly frustrating to keep the relationship going with such little time together to work on it. We both spent the next few months after separating feeling like the bottom had dropped out of our respective worlds, but slowly and surely we healed apart.\n\nThe happy ending: I now enjoy a relationship with her as perhaps my all time best friend - a friend for life. It still matters just as much what she thinks of me and I still find myself tweaking the engine according to her tuning specs. We are no longer an item or 'in love' with each other but we certainly do love each other deeply and trust and respect one-anothers opinions.\n\nI am very happy with that.