Just come out of a long term relationship. At the moment I don't feel that I want to be in a relationship again, or for a very very long time. I'm not interested in other women. I feel I won't get anyone better, and I can't stop thinking that if I do get another then she wont ever be as good. Has anyone else ever felt like this, if so did you ever get over it? Sorry if this sounds weird.\n\nExtra info : Lasted 2 years, it's been 8 weeks since we split.
202821
you will get over it trust me!!! Give it time! Keep busy
305699
That's a real tough one. And millions of others have been through the same thing. I am not going to lie to you and say it'll be easy, especially since you work with him. It's a process that you have to go through taking one day at a time. I think it's a pretty sure bet that if you got back together that the same thing would happen again.You may love him but he has to find his way back to you if and when he realizes that it's you he really wants to be with. So as hard as it is, let him work things out for himself. If you have close friends or relatives spend some time with them and if you have interests then try to keep yourself busy without over doing it. It's hard, but I think a person has to learn to try to relax as much as possible in a situation and not allow depression to creep in and get a grip. Don't let obsessive thinking get the better of you. In a sense it is an opportunity for you to learn to enjoy just being alive and being your own person. Some men and women keep making the same mistake bcause they either let someone back when it's not wise because they love them and are lonely, or they get involved with someone new, too soon, and the cycle repeats itself. Like I said, don't fixate on it, but try to enjoy each day as much as you can. You will have down times, but over time you can and will recover and you may discover a brand new life for yourself. So allow yourself to grieve a little but let yourself have hope for your future too.
241421
It's normal.. we all go through the same thing.. (I mean unless we had a flamin' bad break up that is!) Does the current bf know about this? ..and deal w/it? He sounds like a kool dude if so. It'd be hard, but could ya like change where ya R hangin' out, so ya 2 don't meet up? I kow it's rough if ya got the same friends, right? If ya have a bad breakup ONE of the good things about it is you got a TON of bad info. to use mentally to get over the bad dudes. I mean if he beat ya up, dissed ya, you gotta make that memory a WHOLE lot better.. (helps ya get over the hurt.) How long it been since ya broke up? It'll get better, I promise! If it's too new a hurt, I think it's kool ya got wit another guy already too.. later-     melancholia
392110
time really is the only solution..........ive had breakups not wanted and only after time has the pain and desire mitigated.........hang in there..........great people will come into ur life and u'll find better.
110731
You are not alone! If any one has gamble in love, then, at one time or another they too, were in this situation.  A few weeks ago I seen a segment on TV about a woman who actually makes her living helping others that have broke up from their mates. This is how devastating a breakup can be.  The first thing she did was make sure the person did not become a couch or bed potato.  She said you have to get back into the world as soon as possible.  I realize that you are more concerned about the daily thing, and seeing him all the time.  Just, get up every morning, always fix yourself up and dress 'hot'.  Lean on your friends when you have to see him or be in the same class with him. Everyone has that one friend that makes you laugh alot, you need her now more than ever. Continue your life as close to normal as possible. Scope out someone else that you might be interested in dating and start conversations with him. You may not be ready, but get ready. Your X will see that your life has not stopped because he walked out. And by moving forward and keeping a good appearance and attitude, he will definitely take notice. I don't if you want him back or not, but moving on to another relation ship always makes the other one feel rejected and if someone else wants you, so does Mr X. You got the power..now, GO GIRL!!!
159203
I don't know of anybody who didn't feel horrible after breaking up. A bond between two human beings is a valuable, special, particularly fragile link. Why not remember the good times you both had? Here's something else to keep in mind: there was probably a reason you both broke up. Was it something you needed to do? There may be a valid reason. And above all: these things take time. You can't expect to jump out of bed the next morning singing and dancing, but it's also equally unhealthy to obsess all the time your ex-boyfriend and your ended relationship. "If the problem persists, it may be necessary to seek professional help," we hear that all the time, but if the problem lasts longer than you think it should, it's probably a good idea to talk to a psychiatrist. ( A female psychiatrist would more likely have experienced what you're going through.)To occupy your time, you could go out with your friends, donate time to a charity, express your feelings through art or writing... however, and I am not trying to disrespect your feelings by any means, you seem a bit young to be dating. Enjoy life.  You'll have the rest of your life to worry about men and boyfriends. You're young, so why not not spend valuable time, instead of thinking of boys, learn to better yourself? Learn to speak German; learn Karate. You'll empower yourself and your self-esteem will rise. I personally wish you the best of luck.
370594
Not sure I get the question but I was with my ex girlfriend for 3 years and I thought I was in love with her then one day I sat back and thought "I don't actually like her, let alone love her". The revelation kicked me in the ass and after that I couldn't bare to be in the relationship with her anymore. She is a wonderful human being and very beautiful as well but I just felt nothing! I completely devistated her but even now, 6 months after she has gone, I still feel nothing for her! Odd!
321988
Dude, you sound just like me. My wife left me last July.  We had been together for 7 years.  We didn't have kids, do you?  I think that might make a difference.  Anyway, I turned 28 2 days after the divorce was final.\n\nYou have every right to feel scared.  Since we were kids whenever we hooked up with our exwives, we never really went through the dating scene that you are about to enter.  I see that some of the peeps are advising you not to enter in to a relationship, but you arent asking about a relationship, you are asking about dating, gotta keep that seperated.  If you are anything like me, your world has stopped spinning and you are all sorts of messed up in the head.  Don't let that part of you bring down the rest of you.  For me, it was real freaking important psychologically to know that I could still pull tail.  Let me tell you, it was not that hard.  Just so you know, I am nothing special.  I aint Mr. GQ.  I aint some gym rat either.  I tell you that because I always see dudes our age at the bars all GQ'd out looking like they live in the gym and I never thought I could compete with that, well don't.  You don't have to.  You don't want the bar flies that chase those dudes anyway.  \n\nFirst thing you gotta do is get your mind right.  You are a dude that was faithful to 1 girl from the time you were an irresponsible kid till now.  You havent been in bars chasing skeezers every night since you turned 21.  You are a good dude that is different than those type of guys.  You understand relationships and women.  You know the expectations of a woman and will naturally meet them.  Things like calling, being thoughtful, etc. are hard for dudes who have never been married, its natural for you and women love that.  Girls that are our age have the same concerns that we do.  Good girls are looking for good dudes and are willing to give you a chance if you can present an acceptable formula of traits.  You know you can.  \n\nI have dated 5 girls since my wife left me 9 months ago.  1 was a girl that I knew from highschool, (work that circuit).  3 were girls that I met via my job that worked for other companies, and the most recent one was an acquaintance of one of my friends wives.  If you are anything like me, your friends are all married and the wives know that you are a good dude, thus willing to set you up.  Keep your expectations real.  You know deep down the level of girl that you can pull.  Work all angles and dont listen to anyone who gives you a time table.  You need female companionship to get your esteem up.  Take it where you can get it.\n\nYou'll be alright.  It'll all work out for you my man.
432588
Had many of the same feelings when I first met my fiance.  Luckily they have subsided a bit and am now more able to lead a more "normal" life.  I still do think of her quite often and by no means does it mean that I think or respect he any less.  It's just that the initial honeymoon stage has worn off, took about 2 years and so am a little more grounded now.  Best of luck to you and yours.
49995
Letting go is hard. You need to let yourself heal before you date again because you're on the rebound. The girl that worries sounds like a sweetheart but you need to be honest with her and tell her that you're just not as ready as you thought you were for another relationship. As for getting over this girl, acceptance is the key and the first step toward recovery. I've been there, I know. You have to allow yourself to go through the grief stages, and yes, it's like grieving over a death because it is a death in a way. You'll got through many emotions but it is a necessary path that you must take. This girl does not deserve you and if you have to get mad and hate her, do that if it works for you as long as it doesn't harm anyone. Avoid all contact with her because for now, it's keeping you tied to her. Heal first then perhaps you can be friends. If you feel you need counseling, than get it. There is no shame in it. Another thing you can do is to work out at the gym. It helped me a lot and when you see your body starting to change for the better, you begin to feel better about yourself and more confident. You will get over her, sweetheart but it will take time and effort on your part. God speed and good luck. =)
583276
How long has it been since you divorced?  You just might need more time.  You'll know  when you're ready for a serious relationship again.  Take time to find yourself again and reassess what you want out of life and in a mate.  If you don't feel you're doing ok on your own, seek some counseling.  It really does help to talk things out and put them on the table.
193252
What you can do is be happy that she is happy in another relationship, and move on. It may hurt, but that is the only choice you have. She is not going to come back to you right now because she is with someone, and unless your personality has changed signifigantly in that time, she will not be interested in you anymore. It sucks. Most people have a long list of people that they had to break up with before finding the one and they all hurt.
213513
how does it feel to be heartbroken? Well, it depends on how deeply you tresured something with the person who broke your heart. for me, it felt like HELL. But i got over it after about 1 and 1/2 year. when a broken heart will be healed depends on your own pace. Frankly speaking, i don't believe the guy said. it's too unspecific and invalid. that's like telling who you can be with and you can't be with. if i were in your place, i wouldn't think that he's doing me a great favor. But nevertheless it shows he doesn't like you. Learn to move on.= )
491208
Time heals all things! I was in the same boat about a year ago. I thought I was going to die, I wanted to die. The pain in my heart made me sick(literally), but then one day I realized hey it doesn't hurt as much as it did. It took me almost a full year to get over him, but now I am over him, and I just met the sweetest guy in the world. You just have to make yourself go out and have fun. I surrounded myself with fun happy friends and just made myself have fun. At first I was miserable, but then I started having a good time. Now I can be alone and not be sad. It just took time. I promise it will get better, just hang in there sweetie. If you ever want to talk, hit me up at clabarre81@yahoo.com.
507059
Guess one would question if you ever really loved your boyfriend of 1yr+ in the first place.  I can say from experience that when you break up with someone that you truly feel for, all you can think about is them and the thought of another relationship is the farthest thing from your mind.  But then again people react differently to different situations, and this may be perfectly fine.  The only person who really knows is you.  If you feel fine with how it all went down, then what does it matter what other people think, they're not the ones who live your life.  If you feel good then don't let anyone tell you otherwise, good luck!
467393
I know exactly how you feel, it's been 10 years since my fiancee died.  We never had that "fight" either.  I did the same thing, the dates, the sex, and NO it didn't feel right, didn't feel good because it wasn't with (him).\n\nIt's going to be hard to connect with anyone at first, because they will all be compared to her.  The men that I dated had to pass the "Rod Test" or they weren't good enough.  I know now that that was just my way of sabotage, trying not to feel, not to get too close. I've only had 2 real relationships, the first lasted only 6 months and the last lasted 3 years (ended a few months ago).  The difference between the two was that I had to try and figure out who I was again, what I wanted, and realized that I could love someone else again and that it's OK. It took awhile, there's nothing wrong with being by yourself, it's how you figure it out.\n\nSo answer your question(s), you can date but every date doesn't have to end in bed.  Every day that you wake up, move about the day, you are moving on with your life.  Some days will be better than others. There are days now that I still cry of the loss or  I smile cause I remember the way he made me laugh.  They will always be with us.  It just takes time.  When you are ready to have that relationship, you'll know, because that guilty feeling won't be there.
428042
I just don't see a feelgood way out of this.  Be honest with her.  It already sounds like you are compassionate.  Honestly explain your feelings, how long you've been feeling this way, how you struggled with it, didn't want to hurt her, etc but that you couldn't reconcile how you feelings evolved to living in a way that is in full honesty for both of you.  She's going to undergo grief and pain so there is no avoidance of that.  It really is hard to tell someone you care about as a person, knowing you're going to cause them pain, that you've tried, but don't feel the way you would like to feel anymore.  Many people deal with faded feelings in ways that cause even more problems down the line, cheating, avoidance, etc. It never makes the problem better so you know that it will take great courage on your part to get in the drivers seat and take the relationship to it's inevitable destination.  She was a whole person before she met you so hopefully she has the inner strength and faith to trust she will continue to be a whole person without you.