i am 20yrs old and live with my parents while going to college near by. recently i have brought up the idea that i would like to start dating, their answer was that i'm "not ready". i have met a nice guy that i really like and start going on dates with him; when i told my parents of that they told me to stop whatever i have going on with him. their ideas are for me to finish getting a degree before dating, they think that i'm going to do something bad or end up getting pregeant or something; however i know better. my question is, should i continue seing that guy even thou they would be upset and yell if they find out i still see him or should i stop and follow their wishes. in other words be miserable or make my parents happy?
202464
As a parent, education is #1 in our home as well. However, you are 20 years old and assure your parents that you understand their concerns and that they raised you well enough to know the "dangers" and "stupidity" that comes with your situation. They will never stop worring, that is their job! I say, have your relationship BUT, do NOT let it interfere with your college! No surprises and take it slow! Good Luck !
377536
It would have helped if you would have stated your age and his....but any older younger relationship in the teen years is bad news....sorry.  \n\nThey are your parents they have your best interest at heart.  They don't want you pregnant (surely not in the best interest of you or the baby), the don't want you pressured for sex by an older guy (who has more than likely been sexually active and more than likely wants sex from you), they don't want you getting std's.\n\nYou may not be silly, you may not be naive, but dating an older guy is never a good idea.  If he is out of high school, you just aren't in the same place in life.  If you are in 9th grade and he is in 12th....he is probably just after sex. \n\nTwo people have to be in the same place in life for a relationship to work.  My hubby is older than me, but we were older when we met and married, both done with college, both in good jobs, both living life on our own....we were in the same place.  \n\nSorry you had to change your plans, but you live in their house, it is their rules.
310546
if he is not leaving for college what's the problem. you will have plenty of time for your parents to change there mind. if they like him ask him over for dinner with everyone. if that doesn't work out do not worry time is on your side. life will bring you many things to come. enjoy today if he likes you he will be there tomorrow. if not it maybe was never meant to be. what you want today is not always what you want tomorrow. there are plenty of fish in the sea.
413139
I was dating my husband (who is 4 years older then me) for 3 years before I told my parents (we are from 2 different cultures) because i was worried that they would be upset.  When i did tell them they didn't want to meet him.  My mum actually cried when i told her because she was so against it!! They met him after 4 years of us being together.  8 years later we are still together and we have been married for one and a half years.  My parents absolutly adore him now.\nWhatever is meant to be will be and if it's supposed to last you will get through anything together!!
102435
I think everyone struggles with this at one point or another with their parents.  I know I have.  The main thing is you need to make the decision for yourself.  Who is it that you are going to be growing old with....certainly not your parents.  It's difficult to cut those ties between being an adult and still being viewed as their child.\n\nThe "adult" thing to do, is tell your parents it is ultimately your final decision.  Tell your parents, respectfully, that you will find out through trial and error which man you will ultimately spend the rest of your life with, but in the end it is your decision, not theirs.  This does not mean you love them any less, but their support and love are needed in different ways at this point in your life.  On the other hand if they do view their opinion about something do not ignore it.  Place it in the back of your mind and think about it.  Sometimes a third party can see things that an individual may not see due to the emotions involved in a relationship.\n\nGood Luck!  I know I have let some good ones go because my father "didn't approve", through time and the wise words of my aunt, I have learned what I mentioned above.  In some ways having that "adult" conversation with my parents, they show me a higher level of respect then they did before.\n\nDon't spend your time "proving" anything to them, you will only make yourself tired.  Parents and loved ones will choose to see what they want.  Only you and your boyfriend know the whole dinamics of your relationship.  Just don't be "blinded" by any red flags.
383917
um no your way to young for him right now wait til your 18. if anything happens to you now with him then hes responsible for it. And then think would you parents be ok with it to if you went out with him. I don't think they would be pleased to hear that.
458585
I personally think that if your not the type of person to sneak round then you shouldn't have a problem. Just point out that you have always been honest with them and that you don't want that to change but you think that you seriously need some for freedom. Take it slow, suggest being a loud out for parties or something or to just hang out with friends don't jump immediantly to dating but you might want to mention it. I got one of my friends to do this about a couple months ago and now she has a boyfriend and she goes out all the time, with her parents knowing too.
633370
When I was 16, my boyfrind was 20 ...and my parents said the same thing...but I stayed with him...they still disagree, but now im 19 (and living with him)and hes going on 23...its not as bad as parents think. As long as you are with someone you care about and he doesnt hold you back at anything, then i would say you are fine. I have been through the same thing. And am still going through it. Parents will be parents i have come to find out. Just go with your heart feelings and dont let anyone take that away from you-ever....if u neeed to talk you can im me or email..either way. i'd love to pass on some advice...
14135
I don't see what the fact that you work from home would have on whether someone wanted to date you.  At least you are working and supporting yourself.  I think it would be fine.  Maybe they are worried that because you are there all the time, you would be up their a$$, who knows.  Perhaps the fact that you are so adamant about wanting to get married is a bit much for a new prospect to deal with.  You shouldn't ever rush into marriage.  To me, that sounds more like what the ladies problem would be.
624108
Though you did not explain this in your question, I suspect your parents insist on group dating and I understand why. Please try to understand this from their perspective. They walk a very thin tightrope between trying to protect you from the vagaries of this time of moral turpitude in which we live today, while at the same time learning to trust you to make wise decisions, while having the fun that life offers.\nI question your boyfriend's frustration. I think his feelings illustrate clearly why your parents insist on group dating only. You must examine your own feelings. I assume you are a wonderful young lady, with tremendous potential, and your parents are simply trying to help you and others focus on your potential and not  your libido.\nYou are fortunate! If he really cares about you, he will understand that the situation works best for all involved, including him.
13324
Spend more time to really know about him before you make that kind of decision, time do mean a good testing for both side to see this relationship is real or not...plus you maybe still too young or have lot of other time to see more people or more things in a more mature view later time.\n\nMost important is how your parents think? try to seek their advice, try to understand what they say to you is reasonable or not. As it is surely TOO risky for you that so young and have to follow this man to another country...as what may happen if things not work out well? that will be a big price to pay not mention may effect your study and future as well.\n\nHope you find your answer very soon then :)
148840
Well, it you are at an appropriate age (15 and up in my opinion), and you are really interested in this guy... not physically please (remember...true love waits)... I encourage courtship... there's a book called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris, and it's wonderful (it's about courting)... that way you and your parents can be involved and there won't be any secrets and the respect can still remain. Believe me if you are open and honest with your parents and help them understand that you want a healthy friendship with this young man, there shouldn't be a problem.  Best of luck...es
653026
Do you have a job?  Or are you going to college?  I would suggest going away for college, at least 20 minutes away.  Your parents will physically have less control over you because you will be on your own and be able to do as you wish.  You will also meet tons of people in college and obviously it is good way to find yourself and figure out what kind of career you want.  You are 19, a legal adult.  You have every right to make your own decisions now.  The sooner you break away, the sooner your *own* life can start.  Good luck!
466539
Your relationship seems rock solid. Don't let anyone including your parents get in the way. Your parents care about you and want the best for you. They haven't taken your relationship seriously yet. Make your parents respect your relationship by investing more time in your relationship with your fiance and less with your parents. Show them you are perfectly fine on your own. Oh, by the way, marriage is cool too. Don't be afraid.
505511
Updated 11/14:\n\nAs I read this question I think this:\nA teen [atheist] should do whatever any teenager should do.  Try to establish communication, work towards mutual understanding, and don't lost sight of the fact that you are pretty much grown up and they are the ones who brought you safely to this place.   Respect is a powerful tool.  You can't win respect from some people no matter what you do, but you can choose to lavish it on others regardless of what you think of their choices.  No matter what their mistakes, your parents deserve your respect just for bringing you to this place.\n\nOK,  that was the update.\n________________________________________\n\nI'm in agreement with you that taking communion wouldn't be appropriate if you do not believe.  The communion is meant to be a way to share a unified faith experience.  Obviously, you don't feel that way.\n\nIt may be time, at 18, to begin discussions about making a plan to move out of the home.  Are you nearing college age?  Is a work/apartment plan appropriate for you?  We have always asked that our children make a plan.  One even chose a half-way house so that he could leave quickly without a plan.  (It was still a plan.)  Two have chosen college.  One went to live with another family for a time until she got a decent job and found an apartment.\n\nYour parents have a responsibility to the world (and to you) to bring you up to the point that you can make a reasonable plan for your future and embark on it.  They may not feel that you are ready, or perhaps it is not customary to let children in your culture leave at this young age. \n\nI suggest talking rationally with them about what is required to remain under their roof and whether it would be an appropriate time to make a launch plan.  Having a plan in place will take some of the pressure off of you, and it might help you comply until the time when you have reached your goal and step out on your own.\n\nI wish you well.  I'm quite certain that you will do well once you have a plan in place that suits you and your future goals.  Just don't lose sight of the future in your angst at the present situation, which I can see is intollerable.\n____________________________\nAnother thought before time runs out...\nEven atheists can spend a lot of time and emotion proselytizing.  Perhaps it would be good to check and see if you are trying to convert your folks.  Obviously, they believe strongly.  You believe strongly in something different.  Suppose you reach a truce.  Suppose you stop talking to them about your disbelief in exchange for them to stop trying to force you to believe.  A similar compromise could be reached that would best fit your situation.  (That would also help you to appear less "rebellious.")
583232
Hey, what do you think!   If you were ready you wouldn't be asking this question.\n\nNo you probably aren't ready.  If you are feeling guilty, ask yourself why.  and if the parents are home----come on.\n\nluv Ava
608133
If you feel things were going too fast, they were.  Be careful putting yourself in these situations, though.  If you go to a guy's house when his parents aren't home, he expects to get laid, especially if you start fooling around with him.  If you unwisely put yourself in this situation again before you're ready, tell him no first if you didn't this time.  Oh, & don't give him a sexual moaning no, as this won't get his attention.  Give him a blunt, firm, commanding no.  If you lash out violently right off the bat, he may reciprocate.  This is another reason it's wise not to go somewhere alone with him until you are ready for this possibility.  He could have felt like you led him on, & were being a tease, & then gotten enraged when you slapped him.  You're lucky, because this could have resulted in an asault or a date rape.  From now on, I hope you'll be wiser in your decisions, as this could have ended up being potentially dangerous.