It was an ONLINE affair, they swapped naked pics of each other and talked dirty (only online, b/c she lives in cali whereas we live in tx) He says he regrets it, it was a sexual frustration and declares he's in love with me. The problem is, she WON'T stop calling/texting him, whereas he IGNORES her, she's really psycho...I'm scared shitless!!
200235
This is not forgiveable. Its only a matter of time before he decides to do the same thing with another girl, but in REAL LIFE. And the fact that he was sexually attraced to his cousin is just gross. Second cousin or not, they are blood related.
496467
Wow!  That's not an easy one, honey.  I don't think I could get past it either, even though nothing happenned, it would still be in the back of my head too!  I guess sometimes you have to draw a line.  For instance, when I go out with the girls for a night out w/out hubby, I enjoy talking with other men.  But, it's harmless, I do enjoy the conversation and flirtation, but I know that is healthy for any woman.  Now, here's the difference... I don't go out looking for it or take their phone numbers home with me and have private conversations.  That's clearly stepping over that line.  I love my husband and could never even picture doing anything intimate with anyone else.  I think you need to seriously consider what his intentions were.  Maybe what he was doing was harmless too, but if he is willing to give out his phone number and chat with her, that is a sign of taking the next step in my opinion.  And, the reason he immediately signs off when you catch him IM'ing her online, is a sure sign of guilt!  He knows in his mind he is doing something wrong, otherwise he wouldn't have to hide it.  Personally, I would never be able to forgive because it would haunt me, but that's me and I am a "ain't gonna take that sh!t type of person."  However, you may want to see a marriage counselor to see what the best choice is for you to move forward and past this.  I wish you all the best.  My heart goes out to you.  Good luck.  LOL.
597860
Given that you live so far away from each other, I would have to say that he found someone else, and is trying to see what happens with that person. I would get out of that situation!!! Do you really want to be a backup plan? Find someone who is willing to be there and not play games with you.
137822
She should drop him. He's obviously in a mid-life-crisis or something but she'll only end up hurt. I think he's a weirdo and he has no clue what he wants... maybe he's a-sexual but that won't be satisfying to her so definitely drop him!
314761
Sometimes the idea of loving a person is better than the reality of them.  I am not saying that this is anything against you, but perhaps he was more in love with the idea of you.  If he no longer has these feeings for you, and refuses to talk, then I'd say it's time to move on.  I hope he isn't a creep determined to pass STDs along to every girl he can.  If it's been four days, and he hasn't talked to you, then he lacks the respect to end things the right way.  It's being a coward.  As for why you are doing this to yourself?  Can't sleep?  Well, you were duped.  No shame in that, it's not your fault.  It can take a long time to get over a love.  Hang in there. Try your best to get some sleep.  When you are sleep deprived, you can not think correctly.
245515
Well if she isn't  up set about it, don't worry about it.  It's her problem not yours.  Sounds like it up sets your more then her.  Like some one else said if they are contacting her she left an e-mail add.  Her morals went to heck in a hand basket.
217369
I would be P.O.ed in the worst way.  What was he thinking?  I'd give some serious consideration to what he's done.  How many other things has he concealed from you?  Doesn't he know that behavior like that shows disrepectfulness for your relationship?  Clamp down on that now!
562077
He's bullshiting and he's playing you.. I'd raise my question about her present in his place. And what's the point of answering his phone when he has a hand 2. Unless his mouth was bz on something else.. Serious, if you want to continue your relation with him then straight this thing out. If not then he's NOT worth your time honey.
604758
Are you kidding me? My lady would have my nuts for earrings if I tried to pull something like that. No other women comes before her. Ex-lovers...Nope, don't even bring the name up. Not if i want to sit and listen to her bitch at me for the entire night. If she even thought I was emailing and having open communication with an ex. It would be my a**.  You are his women and he should have at least a speck of decency and stop it all together. If he does not your relationship will break down for sure.
579995
It's just ignorrance. Forgive him. He may not have the capacity to understand how inappropriate he is. With free speech comes the ugly side. Tell her that people like him may not be mature enough to get it. Thanks for being so supportive of her feelings.
666810
u need to tell ya b/f whats going on as far as her calling your phone. tell him how u truely feel about it. and have him tell her  to stop trying to pull you guys apart if he really loves you
642363
From what you said it seem to me what went on with buddies of mine when we were young and stupid. I have had buddies that could not stand their girls. And when the sex got boring it was time to bail. If they heard rumor from the girl's posse that she was thinking of dumping him, or that she had dumped him and he was not told yet. they would do a 360 turn and be the most charming you ever seen. To get her liking them again or take them back. Then they DUMPED HER. So, the official story is that SHE did not dump me, I dumped her. I think that is what he did. She came back, he had the power. And he used it. He was never really into her so much as to be the one to turn on and off the tap. She lost. She better just move on.
631389
Please help ?  Poor, pitiful Pearl.....  clearly you AREN'T "committed to a guy" (but what the heck, you tell him about your obsession with this other idiot and he doesn't break up with you, one has to wonder what the hell is wrong with HIM?)  You suffer from the "I-Can-Save-Him" Syndrome....all he needs is the love of a good woman!!  What a bunch of crapola.  You already know that this guy has fooled around with other women - thereby cheating on his girlfriend (he confessed to this) - and you have said that "every word that comes out of his mouth" is a lie.  Oh, right - but he said he loves you.   Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.  And so that is enough for you to debase yourself with such an idiot.  You are right - you DO pity him.  But you mistake that for love and, honey, it's not love.  It's not even a reasonable replication of love.  IT'S PITY!!!!!!  Leave him and his protestations and his fake declarations of love alone and pull yourself out of this hellhole of stupidity.  Leave him to some stupid girlfriend who also holds onto him (ever wonder why she continues to keep him in HER life ?  What do you suppose he is telling HER about how he loves?  How much pity do you think she is feeling for him these days ?)  Leave him to his shallow "I-Am-A-Victim-Have-Pity-On-Me-And-Love-Me" routine.  Have a little pride, girl - if not for you, then for the rest of us!!!
46984
how did he react to this? You need to let her know hes taken or he needs to step up and say I have a woman ,you don't need to be doing that shit!! She sounds like a little whore anyway!
177965
There are two big issues here that make his story suspicious.  I can believe that someone would txt message the wrong number once.  But why didn't he block that number and why is he giving his wife the silent treatment.  There is never an excuse for giving someone the silent treatment unless you feel guilty yourself.  And blocking a number is pretty easy to do.  I would be very suspicious.
349171
You sure he hacked it?  Maybe he's with your ex-girlfriend now and she let him use it.  Maybe you are the one bothering your ex-girlfriend and she let him get onto her messenger to tell you to take a hike.  This is a very very one sided story and I have a feeling you are not exactly innocent.
165456
'he got caught up in some bullshit and ended up having sex with one of my friends................just read that back and see if it makes any sense!!!!!!\n\nNOBODY gets 'caught'up in something that makes them commit the ultimate no-no.  WIse up - people do things because they want to and they think that they can get away with it.  The reason he has called you again out of the blue is a slight mystery but trust me if he had realised what a mistake he'd made and wanted to get you back he would have done that 24 hours after the event.  He's just bored and is seeing how far he can go with you.  This whole episode is probably to hype his ego that he could get you back again no matter how badly he has behaved.\n\nDo yourself a favour and show him the door with a very large size 9 up his backside as he leaves.\n\nEveryone is worth more than this.  You have to toughen up and not let people rule your future.  If they bring you love and happiness let them in - if not get rid of them....for good!!!!!\n\nHard but true.\n\nGood Luck!!