My ex-hus has had reg contact with the chldren, i.e 1 night mid-week and 1 night on a weekend, Fri or Sat.  He also used to pick them up from school when poss as I worked 3 full days.  I am now work so I can pick them up from school.  My son has said he misses his dad picking him up from school and would like to see more of him. Father has now said, due to changes at work he will have them 2 nights mid-week and two sat night in five.  I have said this is not acceptable as he cant spend quality time with them mid-week when they have school. I have suggested he has them two full weekends and I do in the month and he has them one night mid week if work allows.  He has said no, this will affect his social life. The chldrn will be devastated.  Can I stop contact and seek a consent order allowing the chldrn quality time at the weekend with him.  Harsh, but i feel i need to fight my chldrns' corner and force his hand to see them properly. Can he stop their maintenance in interim? thanks
203597
I'll answer the last question first... no he cannot stop maintenance payments. Whether he see's the children or not, they are still his children and must provide for them, which includes covering the cost of food, clothing, education and the roof over their heads. However depending on your circumstances (new marriage, wage increase etc) he may not have to pay maintenace for yourself.\n\nBack to your first question, if he wishes to go against any arrangement which is already in place, and you feel that it is detrimental to the health and well being of the children you should approach either your own lawyer (or the court if this is where the agreement was arranged) and get this sorted under legal process. \n\nAt the end of the day though, the court will try and impose an arrangement which is in the best interests of the children AND which is reasonably amicable. You mention 1 night midweek is OK but not 2 nights midweek .. because of their school, you would need to explain why that extra night would be detrimental. \n\nAt the end of the day the only thing you can WIN in court on your childrens behalf is maintenance, no court can FORCE someone to see their children, I would suggest you sit down first and talk this through, and have a practical look at the effects of any arrangements on your children. And being practical does require you both to look at your working schedules too.
625201
well actually i have been to court for this and have been told that your ex can do that if he wants as long as he has someone there to watch the kids and not leave them alone or with someone not known to the child, who cares if they dont know you or you dont know them, as long as the child knows the babysitter. it is his weekend and if he wants to be away from his kids on his weekend then he could.you have your weekends and he has his, he could do that if he wants and so can you.good luck.
241397
ok hunny been there done that.  with your sweetie i cant give a guarenteed answer but i had that problem with my son's father when we were together. he thought it was his responsibilty to look after his mom.  last straw for me was when she "borrowed" 200 bucks to take his sister back to the mainland for ferry and gas and i found out that she used it to go bowling. man i was pissed beyond recognition since the money came out of my account which i used to pay ALL the bills and he wouldnt ask her to pay it back. in your case hes the child and unless they are unable to work or seriously something wrong with them then his responisbility is to you and his children.........however many kids there are and his parents should know that their grandbabies come first and foremost. doesnt matter whose kids they are they are always first and shame on his ex for trying to stick him with two kids that arent his. personally i wouldnt put up with whats going on but maybe make a really big chart and stick it up somewhere really obvious (maybe in the bathroom right over the toilet where he presumably STANDS every morning to take a piss and cant miss it) and put up a couple column where you detail the money your bro gives you for gas and the money his parents drain out every month and ask him how if hes going to support his parents where is the money going to come from for paying child support plus all the monthly bills. family is only as important as you make them and he needs to get rid of his and be a big boy. if they want to know his every move maybe perhaps you should suggest to his parents that he get his old room ready so he can move back in it or offer to move your entire family his kids your kids an all into THEIR house so that they can be in control and you can stay rent free and they can babysit.  all else fails change your phone number refuse to open your door and have all the accounts put in your name with only you being able to access them. or as suggested by the others then by all means kick his ass to the curb............ but thats up to you and how much more of this you are willing to deal with.
376261
You  have  not  mentioned  what  position  your  custodial  parent  is  taking  .  .  .   what  have  they  said  on  your  behalf ?        Also,   there  might  be  a  legal  aid  department  at  your  college  or  a  college  nearby  with  a  law  department.   Approach  them.\nAs  you  are  smart  enough  to  be in  college  already,  I  am  sure  you  will  be  skilled  in  avoiding  or  minimizing  contact  with  any  adult   you  don't  wish  to  deal  with  .  .  .  the  court  may  order  visitation,  but   it   could  end  up  being  a  15  min  coffee   visit   at  a  public  restaurant  .  .  .   don't   do  it  on  campus  as  that  would  encourage  them  to  come  there  again.     Meet  at  some   public  restaurant  you  do  not  normally   frequent.
356283
Why not see if you can get a free consultation with a lawyer or someone who can look over the papers and tell you what they mean.  It seems that if a parent didn't want visitation, they wouldn't be able to force it.  I mean, how would it be in the best interest of the child to send them to spend time with someone who wants nothing to do with them?  It wouldn't be doing the father or the child any good.  They shouldn't be concerned, especially if he is paying support and not causing any trouble with the girl and her mother.
518170
When I left my first husband, he chose to punish me by refusing to visit our son. Our son is 22 and his dad hasn't seen him since he was 18 months old. You can't force the dad to suddenly becaome a good person when he isn't, but you can affect your son psychologically by how you deal with it.  I guarantee your son doesn't care about the paperwork. If there is a man who is treating him like a son, that's good enough for a healthy self-image. Even if there isn't, you can keep him healthy if you keep a healthy attitude yourself. Be very careful that signing over parental rights isn't about YOU punishing your ex.
447695
My son was able to get a work permit that allowed him to work certain hours at 14 and a few more hours at 15.  Stop in your school guidance office to ask if your state does anything like that.  (He had to get signed off at school and through our village to do that). \nWhile you are in the guidance office- you might want to talk to someone about what is going on at home that your parents are acting like this.  \n\nIn the meantime- you can babysit. \n\nGood luck
158119
omfg! im sooo sorry to hear about that, your parents are fucking sick bastards i have to say! They sound like there are seriously menatally ill and need professional help!\n\nI have to say your bf sounds lovely for taking care of you and being there for you, i would personally give him a hug if i saw him.\n\nHave you reported any of these incidents when you were younger to the NSPCC for example?\n\nYou are past 16 so therefore, intitiled legally to leave home and im sure the local council could set you up in a new estate away from your parents. However, although you are past the age of using childline and NSPCC you can always call the smaratins for more help and advice who could arrange your house setting and also prosecute those demon parents of your so you can get your just desserts.\n\nIf you ever wanna talk just email me or message me on madness17@hotmail.co.uk\n\ni sure hope things improve for you and best of luck for the future xxx\n:)
60273
Hi itstight38@s...,\nI'm sure your grandfathers friend knows how you feel and all is forgiven. My answer to your question is on the day my 12 year old son was killed he asked me if he could stay home from school and I told him no. There are times I wish I could take it back but in my heart I know that when God calls you home there is nothing we can do but except it. I know where my son is and I know he's in a better place than I am and I hope God will let me see my son again when it's my time to go home. Thanks: Blueladybug
83490
Oh can I relate to/with you on this one!!! I have four kids. He has one. I love this man dearly but making my four walk a narrow line and expect the best is great until it comes to his son who can do,say,etc. what ever in the heck he wants! I simply told him about it. After all, I can live without a man or find another one but my kids are all I truely have and can not be replaced. Equal...the whole house and everyone in it. No one is more special then the other when it comes to discipline! If you are in the wrong, it is our job as the parent to help set the child back down on the right path! Good luck and remember, eventually your kids will notice and hold it against you for not doing or saying anything! Good Luck!!!
134132
I teach at the minute and am the child protection officer at school. I also do support work in a children's home outside of school hours. Obviously both involve working with vulnerable kids. The vetting that you have to go under to get these jobs is immense, so you won't really leave yourself open to any allegations. Once you start, you have to follow set guidelines anyway, so there shouldn't really be a point when anyone can accuse you of anything. One thing to be careful of, is that if you are with a child who is really vulnerable and a bit emotionally unstable, try not to be alone with them, because then obviously if they do make any allegations, it's your word against theirs, and in today's society, you'll automatically be branded unsuitable to work with young people
406663
If he didn't leave you a number in which to contact him while away, sounds like he's up to no good....and the people he either works or socializes with have probably been covering him, so I think you will have to wait until he returns ....at which point, I'd set him down for some serious talking...good luck!
575915
I agree with you.  When a parent doesn't use their right to visitation, then suddenly wants it all, that has got to do damage to a child.  The system is so overloaded that they can't do a case by case review and then limit visitation for an elusive parent.\n\nIf you can, try to talk to your ex and explain what your child's fears are.  See if before he takes him for 6 weeks, he will visit him as much as possible.
178229
I just got back from Germany for six months and was with AFS. I didn't learn about my family until 2 to 3 weeks before I left. One kid didn't find out until a day before leaving, and a few kids heard in June. A lot of the teens that I talked to, didn't hear until much later during the summer. I was actually starting to get nervous about it myself. For me though, it's more fun to hear two weeks before you go because you get more excited about the whole thing. Then your family will usually call or get in contact with you a week before you leave and then you will totally be ready to leave the house. \n   I know your probably getting pretty nervous about your family and if you even get one. Don't. There was one kid who didn't get placed, but they let him stay at his liasons house until they found one. \n   I wish you luck, and if you have any questions, feel free to email me. It will be the time of your life!!!!
649396
what you need to do is talk to your Lowery and see what you can do to keep in touch whit Ur children as much as passable so it says that you have regular visits with them you should contact my mom because she is try to get her kids back to and i was the first one to come back and she has 6 more she wants back.bttrflynow@hotmail.com plz it will help you a lot
388978
Most people don't understand the situation, but I do. I also took my son and left in the middle of the night. I felt like I didn't have a choice. The thing is that I knew until we had filed for divorce that we had equal rights to the child. And I also knew I could take him anywhere I wanted to as long as I notified her as to his whereabouts. The restraining order is just to give him some leverage in court to say that you are a danger to the child, and to keep you from coming to where he is and taking the child because you  have equal rights to the child. My situation had a lot more involved than I want to talk about. Just because you can't live together doesn't have to mean that either one of you are bad people. As far as him taking the child, at least he loves his child enough to try to keep it knowing that you are not going to be together. I can't tell you that you will ever get it off your mind. If you just sit back and think about the situation and do the best you can, with the child's best interest in mind, it will be of some comfort to you. Just make sure not to do anything that will emotionally scar the child, or permanently damage your relationship with the child.
459200
I know this is a hard situation...my biological Dad left when I was 2 yrs old. I'm now 32 and have never seen or heard from him. Maybe your Dad is just more comfortable talking about the 3 stepdaughters because he knows them better and it's something to talk about to keep the conversation going. You've come this far, I'd probably go ahead and meet him while I had the chance. Then at least you've satisfied your curiosity and met him and then you can maybe put it to rest. You never know, it may turn out better than expected. I say go for it...you never have to see him again if you don't want to.Also, next time you talk to him tell him that you have some great kids and tell some stories about each of them.