I had a very mentally intense affair for about a month, it was great but it abruptly.  I asked her to give it a try but it seemed she just needed an excuse to get out of our relationship. About more than a month after all ended I get a phone call from her last night, she sounded either drunk or I dont know.. and souded like she was wirh someone else..anyway I was saying "hello" Hello?" and she didnt answer and they were singing something!! she didnt answer and it seemed more like they were making fun of me so I hanged up.\nI was thinking of doing something....... maybe sending her a n email saying "thanks a lot for your phone call last night.. that was really sweet and mature"
207182
Just ignore it. She sounds like she's really not moved on. If she had she wouldn't be thinking about you and making silly calls.
435393
well.. if you like the stress, drama, and heartache of this relationship, open your door to her. but if you want any chance of stability, don't answer her calls anymore. This is not a mature or stable relationship. All i can say is.. the sex must be good!!
345924
First thing, you're way overanalyzing.  From someone who knows, it just leaves you with sleepless nights.  \n\nYou told her how you felt, can't regret that (there were only two ways it could have gone)  I'd rather do that, then regret not telling someone how I felt about them.  \n\nI wish you a speedy "moving on",  recovery will be much swifter when you do.
336884
Usually a man will tell the woman when he is breaking up, but one time I was just blown off, and never heard from the guy again.  It was so weird because we had gone out, talked on the phone at least three times a day, never had a fight, and the last conversation we had was really normal.  Then one day he didn't call me back after I left a couple messages, and I never heard from him again.  Granted, it was a really new relationship, but it seemed to be heading somewhere.  I really hope he's in a coma or something.
105828
rite now you dont have any reason to be worried! u know females have this tendency of leaving their past relationships hanging and tend to forget that they always catch up with them which then affects their current affairs.  if there was anything much to tell about that call, maybe... maybe she'd have told u coz i strongly believe she owes u tht one. if she starts acting funny, its better u dont stress but simply call it off until she decides what she realy wants: her fling or U. dont be afraid of loosing her, fact that this is happening, shows u might get hurt somewhere down the line if u' not careful!
266341
sorry that things didn't work out.. I am 27 and had a relationship i soooo wanted but it didn't happen for me.. but now i have an even better relationship.\ni believe no real relatioship should be complicated.. i try to stick with the "if someone wants to be with you then they will" It sounds a bit like she is keeping you emotionally hanging on by talking to you each day and that's very unfair, i think you should take some time to distance yourself from her and ask her not to contact you every day, she doesn't need to know ya business, she gave up that right when she split from you she probably only wants to know it to stop you from moving on.. but you really should, once she sees you doing that then she will either realise how crazy she is being and jump at the chance to be with you for real or she will move on also.. either way you will know how she really thinks and feels and move on to better times with or without her.. good luck
569625
well in a way it's a good thing that you're avoiding her..but dont like shut her out completely. once she realizes that you've moved on,she'll probably start to miss you. you know? hah,i sound a lil silly,but i guess what you're doing is okay. give her a call,see if she's in a talkative mood. you can tell if she doesn't wanna talk if theres awkward silences,or if she comes up with a lame excuse to get off the phone. : ]
421135
Obviously there were some serious problems in your marriage.  Seeing as how she's now your ex-wife, you're asking this question a little late, and asking if of the wrong people.  You should've asked her.  If you have a good relationship with her, you might try to get it out of her one day, maybe she'll tell you what happened with her in your relationship.  If I were to bet on it, I'd bet you took her for granted, you stopped courting her.  She felt like you didn't care about her anymore, so she went out and found someone who does.  I'm not condoning her actions, because I firmly believe that marriage is a lifelong committment, and you fix the problems in the marriage, and divorce really isn't an option.  But obviously you weren't giving her what she needed in your relationship.  Sorry......You probably need to just move on with your life.
276261
I know what is going on here, I had the same thing happen to me to, she broke up with me and then one day she called me and kept calling me. She probably made a mistake by breaking it off, and now that she realizes that, she wants to try to reconcile that and see if there is possibly another chance that you two might get back together. Don't be surprised if she says, "I miss you" the next time you two talk if she hasn't already said it. Hopefully all will work out for you, take care.
165456
'he got caught up in some bullshit and ended up having sex with one of my friends................just read that back and see if it makes any sense!!!!!!\n\nNOBODY gets 'caught'up in something that makes them commit the ultimate no-no.  WIse up - people do things because they want to and they think that they can get away with it.  The reason he has called you again out of the blue is a slight mystery but trust me if he had realised what a mistake he'd made and wanted to get you back he would have done that 24 hours after the event.  He's just bored and is seeing how far he can go with you.  This whole episode is probably to hype his ego that he could get you back again no matter how badly he has behaved.\n\nDo yourself a favour and show him the door with a very large size 9 up his backside as he leaves.\n\nEveryone is worth more than this.  You have to toughen up and not let people rule your future.  If they bring you love and happiness let them in - if not get rid of them....for good!!!!!\n\nHard but true.\n\nGood Luck!!
155096
Wow. I don't think your being unreasonable with how you feel, but she did just start a new job. Lord willing, there will be more annaversaries, but she is probably very stressed right now from the change. Give her some time. If she doesn't want to party, ask what she wants. Find something that works for her and you. She will probably do better once things get easier.\n\nThis breaking up and getting back together thing concerns me though, and might have something to do with it all. Sounds like something hasn't been going right in your relationship. Perhaps something neither one of you is even aware of. You might want to get some councling on this.\n\nBut you should sit down with her and talk to her about the lack of attention she's giving you. I wouldn't expect her to e-mail you back every day on her cell, and she may feel smothered by too much attention. It may be that you aren't giving her enough space, and she's withdrawn. It may also be that she enjoys your e-mails, even if she doesn't respond all the time. Talk with her about how she feels about it all, and ask her if you could improve in any area.\n\nGive it some time and be patient, but she should do her best on this to let you know that she cares about you, and that even with the new job, she still loves you and more than intends to make time for you. This may not happen instantly, so don't be too pushy, but do be plainspoken and truthful. But, if she refuses to at least care about your feelings on this, and that not caring continues, you may want to look into finding a new girlfriend.
381141
Apologize again- letting her know you are not trying to get back together, that you just feel sincerely sorry for what you said and that it was uncalled for etc. She may be worried that she'll have to do the rejecting bit again, and no one likes that!
157672
Did you do something that you should worry about?  \n\nIt's very hard to gauge people over the phone.  If you didn't do anything wrong then you shouldn't sweat it.  May be she was on the phone with a girlfriend gossiping and forgot about what she was going to tell you.
601580
You may never regain the trust she had for you. You can suggest counselling and also don't try to rush it. You have a lot of bad marks against you and really need to prove yourself to her. Also have you thought about what will happen if you get back with her? What made you get into the affair in the same place? Will this reoccurring bad behavior surface again. I'm don't deny that she loves you but just doesn't want to go through the pain of betrayl again. Take some time and get your priorities straight. Good luck
652456
The last time I answered an "urgent" question, the questioner never came back to pick a Best Answer.\n\nBut, anyway, here goes...\n\nIf you're going to play that silly game of "I'm busy over here with my friends" then be prepared to suffer the consequences. Basically, you snubbed her a number of times and she ended doing a "f*ck you too, buddy" on you. Then you wonder why...\n\nWakey, wakey. If you're ever going to have a chance with this girl then you need to stop playing games and communicate with her normally, treat her with respect and just let it lie for now.\n\nIf this is how you typically behave then we now know why she dumped you.
314171
Hi there again. Was thinking about writing direct but didn't want to bother you again.\nI had a break up last June after a 7+ yera relationship/engagement and it took a little (underexagerating) time to get through.\nThe fact that he didn't seem to be bothered by it at all made me even more upset. I couldn't figure out how he could just walk out and that be it. No contact, no explanation of why, no nothing. People need some kind of closure to move along the healing process and I didn't have that.\nWhen I finally started thinking a little more clearly (took about a couple months), I started to realize the reason he was able to walk away as cut and dry as he did. It was because he had already been done long before he'd walked out.\nI started being able to put myself on the outside, looking in instead of the inside, looking in (hope you understand that). Then I started allowing myself to realize all the things that weren't so great and hadn't been so great for a while.\nI went from a deep sadness and loss to realizing I was worth more than how I was treated by him, either directly or indirectly.\nToday I am glad he left and didn't ever try to contact me AND I'm also glad he left.\nMy belief (and I've seen it proved many times over) is the karma people like that earn will pay them back tenfold for what they uncaringly do to people.\nOnly you will be able to put this to rest within yourself and only in the time that is right for you.\nI wish you all the best in the world. And try to remember you are worth more than the sum of one cheating man.\nAlso, sorry this is so long.
209678
Maybe she gave the guy a ride out of the goodness of her heart.  If you explained to her that it really bothers you and she ignores your request to stop it she is either being stubborn (he's not going to tell ME what to do) or she does not value your feelings on the matter.  When SHE said "let's take some time off" she could have been just trying to get back at you for making the suggestion in the first place.  At the very worst you've got yourself one of those girls who enjoys stirring things up to make the relationship a little more edgy and thrilling like it is in the very beginning when you're in the "does he/she like me or not stage????".  Have you ever seen the movie "Play Misty for Me?"  Extreme case.  They like to pull back to "show you what you might lose", then they panic and try to reel you back in very fast so you won't really try to get away.  Your idea af a break is a REAL GOOD one.  But set an actual time like a week or 10 days and agree NO CONTACT.  Tell her that you will not only NOT answer her calls and texts you will not even listen to or read them.  Assure her that you will not use this time to cruise for other girls.  That's not the idea.  The idea is to see how much you miss THIS one.  No cheating!  Good luck.