...when he's not around.  This has caused a trust issue between he and I, although her accusations are not at all true.  It's just another one of her manipulative lies.  I don't want to cause a rift between my husband and his daughter but I also don't see this issue getting any better. She doesn't want us to be married and has said so many times and seems to stop at nothing until she gets her way.  Serious answers only, please.
212295
I'd say that the best thing to do is sit down all together and try to hash this thing out.  I went through a period of really not liking my stepdad when my mom got remarried, so its a normal reaction, particularly if she was close to her mom.  But the answer is no, do not divorce your husband immediately.  The best thing to do is to try and and figure out what you can do in order to make life at least tolerable for all three of you.  I realize that yes, step-children can be a pain, i know, i was one of them, but really, its possible to work it out.  You just need to sit down between the two of them and figure it out.  And if your step-daughter refuses to engage, just acknowledge how she feels, but tell her that you're not planning on going anywhere, so it would be best for both of you to make this work.
609992
I don't think that means he doesn't believe you, but you're definitely right that he is avoiding controversy.  Unfortunately, with a teenager in the house, there will be plenty of controversy, and you will have your share of arguments.  It's normal for a teenager to start to question his/her parents' authority and way of doing things, but this is also the stage when you and your husband need to show a "united front" whenever issues are raised with your teenager.  You won't be sending him the right message if the two of you don't agree on the message you're sending him, and if only one of you is sending the message and the other one is avoiding it, then you two are not sending the same message.  I think you should sit down with your husband, start by saying you are very concerned about this... and tell him why you would like him to get more involved for the sake of your son.
261558
No. What she has done is very inappropriate and in my mind, VERY selfish. I imagine she wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of such a thing should you have done that; am I right? Bottom line is this - it is not right for her to spend an evening like that with a man who is not her husband. Period! The mere fact that she kept this from you is an indication that what she did wasn't right. Deep down, she knew this would upset you and rightfully so. But if it were so harmless, she wouldn't have kept it from you in the first place. I think to help resolve this situation you should ask her what makes it "okay" for a married woman to do such a thing? I'd also ask her what makes her think that you should be "okay" with it as well?!
22321
This is an experience that I dealt with with my "ex-husband". When I caught it, I challenged him on it. He came up with so many explanations that I finally gave him an ultimatum. I told him that he needed to chose between the internet and me. He was also looking at adult porn. He said he would quit, but one day, I checked history, and found that he lied to me. Not only that, but while I was online, I didn't realize that his instant messenger hadn't been closed, and an IM window popped up from a girl who said "hey sexy"! When I looked at the messenger, I realized it was his, and not mine. I told her who I was and she said "What are you doing on his computer?" I told her that it was my computer, and that he was sleeping in my bed. I asked her if she wanted me to wake him up. Well, she was fuming at that point, and started saying things like "Oh, we're just friends, and also that they had never met, she was only playing around". Well, needless to say, I showed him the door real quick. I live in Ohio, she lives in Indiana. When he left, guess where he went immediately??? LOL! Indiana, of course, and he married her 6 months later. Funny thing is, they are divorced now, and since then, he has been engaged to 3 other women, 2 of which dumped him for the same reasons, and he is planning on his 3rd wedding with his new fiance this year. I've always been told that "leopards never change their spots". That's some good advise that I got from my mother. She is very right!!! \n\nMy advise is....don't get caught up in the whirlwind of the lies. They only get bigger and better as time goes on. If he's doing it now and says he'll stop, he'll do it behind your back! Cut your losses and find someone who truely cares about you and your feelings!!!
314430
This sounds to me like my situation a few years ago, phantom pregnancies, if at all posible ignore this person's remarks lies and rot she is a very unhappy person and trying to drag up b/s for you to get upset and angry about ignore it [it will not go away]but still ignore it or speak to her as you are speaking to a child and tell her to grow up
200281
There really no such thing as little white lies, a lie is a lie no matter what way you look at it. He is becoming good at lying. You thinking its a little white lie, is helping cover up his actions. The people he is hanging out with could be other women, since he lies about it anyway. If you are loosing your trust in him from his lies, than how can you trust the marriage. Let him know that you love him and let him know that he needs to come clean with you or your going to separate, not divorce. But, being separated from him may make him realize what he has at home. It will also improve your feelings for him. Right now its confusing, please don't keep making excuses for him. Cause those lies will become an everyday thing for him.
506785
I would be more concerned about why your Husband told you in the first place, could it not be that your Husband is lying, I am not saying he is, but you have to look at it from both sides, and try to rationalize everything, Men do sometimes lie about this type of thing, to make their partners jealous
241266
Richard, I realize that you are upset and losing sleep, but you've got to simply stop posting the same question over and over and let people answer it.  Otherwise, you'll just get a lot of stupid answers from people who just want to get easy points.  Also, if you are really sure, and I mean SURE, not just suspicious about your wife lying to you and you feel she was with another man, perhaps this is not a match made in heaven and you should consider other avenues.  Like a trial separation.  Or marriage counseling.  Divorce is always an option, but as a last resort (unless you know in your heart you are in a truly loser relationship as I once was 16 years ago and made a hasty exit).  Again, try to relax and let your answer get some good responses and give some more details about why you believe she is lying to you.
433845
Sounds like you have nothing to worry about, just let your husband know how much you appreciate him not hiding anything from you and let him give this women the closure she needs. Then she should back off, if not your husband sounds like he would tell you.
452631
Wow, the deception will not go away. Really once it has been done like that it will just happen again, and again. The only way she will stop is if she never did it in the first place. Maybe she will find a man she can be honest with, but once that line has been crossed it is so easy to just do it again. I am speaking from experience. I have finally found the one man I can give my life to, and he always comes before me. You just need to find that one woman. I truly believe if she has a heart felt apology she means it, but when things get sticky is when it is so easy to do it again. You just have to never do it even the first time. My advice to you is pick up your pieces and start putting your own life together. The rest will follow suit. Maybe not when and how you like it, but in the end, just stay true and good to yourself, things will be as they were meant to be. I have empathy for your sorrow and wish you a short road to get to your happyness!
244224
Girlfriend you are a true Christian, but come on. You are going to have to confront her and let her know that she really needs to increase her circle of friends. It is commendable that you open your heart and home for your husband's ex, for the sake of your step daughter but you have to set some boundaries...because she is totally taking advantage of you. I would take her aside and  tell her Enough is Enough! You would rather her take the responsibility of dealing with the child as a parent. While you want to be there for the child you are in essence enabling this woman to pawn of the reality of her personal responsibility off to you. She obviously knows not to engage your husband so she gets in any way she can.  Think about it.
13126
Lying is part of the Affair. First print a hard copy of the BLog, and all Emails for future referance. Chances are it has gone farther and she is covering it up. \n\nThe only way to get through the lies is to catch her in the act. I suggest you contact a private investagetor to look into the matter, They have knowledge and resourses that you would not have, plus by having a third party you get honest information and not biased based on how you feel. Now if you learn that she is not cheating, "yet" then I suggest you work on the relationship before she does. \n\nI would suggest you seek help in counciling. Your not going to be able to resolve the issue by yourself. She is looking at other men probably due to an unmet "NEED" at home. You can read books like those listed below to help identify what those needs are, but until you begin meeting the "NEED" your self, and expose the lies you have no chance of saving the marriage.
333417
I understand completely my husband and I have a very similiar situation. And I too do not trust him and he does not trust me. I think to make things work you have to learn to let go of the past mistakes and learn to forgive even though that maybe in order to go on together you must try to trust. But if he continues to betray you then you need to do what is best for you and your child.
157792
YOU KNOW I HAVE HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME ALOT. ITS JUST JEALOUSY. THEY ARENT HAPPY WITH THEIR LIVES AND THE RELATIONSHIP THEY ARE IN. THEY SEE THAT YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT THEY WANT SO THEY MAKE UP THINGS ABOUT YOU SO THAT YOU FEEL INSECURE ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP. MAYBE YOU AND YOUR HUBBY SHOULD CONFRONT THEM TOGETHER AND SEE WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY THEN. USUALLY THEY ARE DUMB FOUNDED AND CANT SAY ANYTHING. BUT DONT WORRY ABOUT THEM. AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THAT THEY ARE RUMORS AND NOT TRUE YOU SHOULDNT WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING.
242795
Leave her alone, let your son and future daughter in law get on with their lives. If she is having an affair, that is really your son's problem. If he's asked for you to snoop, then tell him that one should never marry a person they cant trust.
300672
Why waste your time confronting her when it is him that your really mad at.  She didn't force your husband to cheat with her, she just happened to be the one he cheated with.  After all, who knows what story your husband told her.
147845
Since your husband's name is on her birth certificate he is her legal father, even if he's not her biological father. The two of you are married now. You've made a commitment before God to love, honor, cherish and be faithful to one another till death parts you. Are you ready to trash it this quickly? You and your husband need some serious marriage counseling before it's to late to salvage your marriage. If he refuses to go, go alone. At least you'll have some help dealing with his horrible behavior. I don't know how any one could not love such a precious little one. He knew it wasn't his and he married you. Made a commitment to you. He needs to learn (through counseling) to deal with the fact that he's her dad! To heck with the biology! I pray the 2 of you can find a way back to the love that brought you to the altar in the first place! God Bless!