i have a bi racial son and my new b/f who i have been with for a few months now doesnt say anything racial to my 4 year old but does use the n word when speaking about his race. what do i do?
203669
he is fine don't worry about it
126926
Racism shows ignorance, and total lack of respect! Unfortunately our wonderful country is full of MORONS! I'm sorry that your friend is making you uncomfortable, tell him that you would like to continue being friends but that the racial jokes are making you believe that he still has racial issues (either that or make some jokes about his race). Most of my friends are Hispanic (I'm Anglo) we all joke around, (but we know that it's just joking and we don't make each other feel out of place. If he is a true friend, he will understand your feelings and respect your wishes. Good Luck.
562330
It all boils down to values & upbringing, isn't it? Your guy has a point which is the conventional approach that kids should look up to parents NOT as equals which explains why he finds it disrespectful that your son calls you by your first name.\nHowever, as I understand it, you're a rather liberal person hence your ID "hippie mama," lol find it's not so much of a big deal. Though as long as your son is being respectful in other aspects in life i.e. he doesn't speak rudely of you in the presence of others or is well-behaved, it shouldn't be a problem. It's your call.
260528
I have the same problem with my family.  It got to the point where I wasn't even talking to my own mother.  You need to tell them that this is what makes YOU happy.  Maybe you can slowly start bringing him around (for dinners, b-days, etc).  This will show them what type of guy he is.  Most importantly, they need to see that he is a real person, not just a "black male."  Have him send your mom flowers or something-- just to show her how sweet he can be.  Don't sacrifice your love for their ignorance.  Good luck!
326764
Hi,\n\nFirst off, i've not got a 30ish son...but am a woman, my boys only a yr old.  :)\n\nI'd like to say all the usual..i'll support my son no matter what...if he feels like he should be a woman, then so be it. Or i often ask myself what i'd say to him if he told me he was gay one day.\n\nI'm not going to lie, i would be disappointed, but more for the fact of what society would treat him like than anything else. I wouldn't want my child to suffer.\n\nYour mother is from a different generation, she is bound to react differently to say what i will in 30 years time.\nIf you are her only son..then ofcourse she would love to see you married and have had children.\n\nBut, at the end of the day..she's your mother and loves you no matter what. She may be against it now, but it sounds like shes warming up to the idea.
187887
If you feel that by his "silence", he is uninterested in what you have to say about your child, then you should let him know how you feel, irregardless of whether it seems "a little silly".  Forget about figuring out "the puzzle of the male brain" - figure out what your own feelings mean to you and act upon them.
304044
If two people can find each other and connect, that's what really matters.  I always tell my kids, I'd rather have them be with someone of a different race they love that loves them and treats them well, than someone of the same race that doesn't.  Love doesn't know color.
508368
My parents were the same way when I dated outside my race and I didn't understand it, I was happy and they were ruining everything.  I think if you are happy with him then be with him regardless of what your parents say (I did).  They will try everything to prevent you from seeing him but in this situation they are kinda being selfish and racist at the same time.  There's nothing wrong with interracial dating (now-a-days).  Good luck with your parents accepting your happiness.
89573
I'm assuming your child is less than five. He is at that point where he is learning to interact with other children and looking to you to see what your response is. You will need to stay consistent with whatever behavior you expect from him. If you do not, you will raise a hellion and make it 10 times worse for yourself.  This is because he will push you to that point of giving in. It can be exhausting. If you don't like his behavior, remove him.  Quietly. Explain Briefly what you expect or give him time out for 1 minute for each each year of his age. (I.E. 4 years old=4minutes) Good Luck. See the web site below for more info.
525936
"...I just don't think it's proper for a person to date out of his/her race."\n\nbtw, I never said this..."but" cancels out whatever was said before it.  If I were racist, I'd come out and say it.  The above statment was said by many of my family members when my brother (who is white) announced he was dating a Korean girl.  It was also said about me when I was dating a half-Chinese guy.
80252
If you use both in a wobble way, that will really confuse them. Many parents don't react in a same way to the same things, but just according to their actual turn of mind  and that's what makes children very confused. Prove that you love them and will always love them, ALTHOUGH you ask for some discipline in some situations. For example: "If you want to go to a football match tomorrow with me (LOVE), you have to finish your homework on time (DISCIPLINE)". Say it in an assertive way and be rigorous. make him/her learn about the consequences of his/her behavior. But, KEEP YOUR PROMISES, DON'T DISAPPOINT HIM/HER and make him/her believe you.
333212
My son was born in Poland. His mother is polish, I'm Dutch. The time his mother and I were married we raised him bilingual. He know speaks both languages fluently, so he can understand both sides of the family. I think it's important to keep connected with your roots this way (too)
18755
You and your husband come first.  For your child/chilren it is important that your relationship can be a model for them in how they should relate to other people.  If you exhibit disrespect or lack of attention for eachother and focus on your child then he/she will develop a similar lack of disrespect for other people.\n\nIt is also important because your children need to know they are in a stable household and you ensuring that your relationship with your husband comes first goes a long way to facilitating this.\n\nGood Luck!
158047
Please don't mis-interpret this answer, I am not being a homophobe or anything!! To be honest, I think from your boyfriends parents point of view, your sexuality will over-ride any issues of race. For example, if they are fairly close minded and prejudiced, then they won't accept you on the grounds that you are gay, your race won't come into it. Similarly, if they do welcome you, this means that are open-minded people who won't have an issue with your race since they didn't have a problem with your sexuality. So in short, no I dont think it is harder for non-caucasions, but I imagine it is equally hard for all gay men
434632
To some families race is important.  If you read the bible, you will see why some families believe that races should not mix.  He is not the one with the problem.  It seems to be his family.  If he is not strong enough to break it to his family...he is not strong enough to be in an interracial relationship.
311170
Kids often do not think before they speak, especially if they are angry. They often try to hurt us, because they are hurting in some way. I would give your son some space until he calms down and then try to talk to him about not saying things that are hurtful and can not be taken back. Also, a little lecture on respecting his mother wouldn't hurt.
315182
Everytime my son says a new word. He is autistic and six months ago they said he would never talk and now he has over 100 words. Sure you can't understand some of them unless you have been around him, but it is still a "jaw dropping" moment.