I love him to death and I would give anything up for him. But he doesn't treat me the same. He is constantly telling me I cheating on him, when I never did or would do. He calls me names and has gone so far as to post a question on this very site calling me a whore. I don't know what to do. We have only been married a couple of months, but he acts so crazy and I don't know how to handle it and keep the both of us happy.
207893
I think that you should talk to him and ask him what is bothering him?. How long has he been accusing you of this?. Did something happen lately that made him start acting like that?. How long have you been married?. The first year it the toughest so hang in there and just try to be open and honest with him. communication is very important, i have been married for almost 19 years and i can tell you communication is very important
668473
this guy sounds like a lot of trouble, you have only been seeing him for four months and all these problems have problems have been hapening, you should be on your honeymoon stage but instead you have problems, maybe you should leave this guy and leave all thses problems. why stick with him whne he accuses you of drama, you dont need that , you need a guy to be there for you when you need him not when he needs you to bail him out of his problems.
640703
He's  a jerk, accept it now and move on.  \n\nHE WILL NOT CHANGE ONCE YOU MARRY HIM.
569406
Honey, you are not overreacting at all.  This man does not respect you.  I know it isn't an easy thing to do, but you need to get counseling.  Seems to me like he's manipulated you all these years.  You've lost yourself in this relationship.  I doubt very much that you are the same person you were before you married this man.  He's cheated on you so many times before, and your retaliation was to cheat on him again, of course, you felt terrible about this, because this was not in your nature.  You stooped to his level.  What you should do is leave.  It's going to be an extremely hard thing to do because you are, well, I guess I can say, you are pretty much addicted to this man.  Just like an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol, you know it's not good for you, but you keep drinking.  \n\nI don't know how old you are, but I can pretty much say that as you get older and you stay in this relationship longer, it's going to get harder.  I speak from experience.  I've been married now for almost 24 years with the same man.  And I am now realizing that I am an individual person. It took me this long to realize that I need to live for myself and not for my husband.  I've spent all my life trying to make him happy and he seems more miserable every day.  Why should I live with that, and why should you.  \n\nHow dare he stop you from working if you want to work.  That's a way of him staying in control of you.  Find yourself a part time job if necessary and open your own bank account, and every time you get yourself a little change put it in there.  Start planning your way out.  You will be so happy when you find yourself again.  And don't forget, God is there for you.  Ask him to guide you, believe me, He will.
185920
Whatever the case maybe he obviously doesn't respect you if he treats you bad period no matter who it is.  He cheated on you in less than months time apart. How much love can he really have for you ????????
593309
You are being used sweetie!  He is not ready for a serious relationship, and he is making sure he has you to fall back on all the time.  He is immature and selfish!  He is a cheater and cheaters very rarely stop cheating.  Get out of this  lost relationship.  He doesn't love you, he loves himself!  Toss the trash in the garbage where it belongs.  Don't waste another minute of your life with him.  There are many guys out there who will treat you with love and respect.  Your self-esteem should be rock bottom by now and this jerk is going to keep knocking you down and hurting you inside.  Get on with your life and I know there is someone out there who will love you for the beautiful, loving person you are.  Good luck!
323173
Wow, this is a sad situation, and I'm sorry you are in it.  Somebody once told me that even if you are married or in a relationship, sometimes you are alone.  It sounds like this relationship is nowhere between 50/50 on giving and receiving.  Think about it, you do everything he wants you to do, but in return he won't do anything for you.  What do you put up with that?  My advice is pretty straight forward.  You need to decide what you want out of this guy.  Then you need to tell him what you need.  If he truly loves you, he will give you what you need.  And if he does not give you what you need, I beg you to leave him.  Yes it will suck to be alone for a little while, but wouldn't you rather have the door open to someone who will give you what you need in the long term?  I wish you luck.
665177
I'm confused.. When you say you were speaking to other men.. is that all then? I don't see anything wrong w/that. You say tho 'he stayed w/me' and I don't know why he wouldn't (if it was just conversation.) You say he had a secret relationship.. was it sexual? You two both sound kind of jealous/possessive.. I mean I am basing this on the assumption there was nothing sexual involved in any of this. (If there was, that's a different story..) Let me see here.. He treats you like crap.. I take it that's the real issue on hand here.. I think men are kind of like babies (I'm married to one.. lucky me..) or they want their cake/ to eat it too.. they want us to cook and clean (and spread 'em) but on the other hand they want their 'freedom' to screw around on us at the same time. (We can't do anything along the same line tho..) that sux, right? He stayed because he's been with you and while the other gal's 'something new/exciting & different' you're the one he's 'used to living with' I am thinking. (Hell, this is depressing me!!) Hey, I DO think you've got value/self worth, dont' get me wrong! I'm just kinda bitter about men is all.. It sounds like my marriage of l4 years (boring.. I'm bored..) My ole man's an asshole (cuts me down) and then developed (or so he claims) e.d. so he tries to do the oral thing (doing me 'one big goddamned favor') on me for sex (but it's wearing thin or gettin' old I mean.. fast..) I want to dump him too.. (I think you want to dump THIS guy..) do it!! that's my 'valuable' advice for ya
343513
Ugh...what a mess. Look, no one is perfect and there are a ton of people on here who will tell you what a bad person you are because of this scenario. First and foremost, please remember no one has the right to judge you. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone hurts people...nobody is above this. Please don't listen to all the horrible words posted here. It doesn't make you a "bad" person...but you are troubled and confused and this situation is only going to lead to so much hurt and pain for so many people, especially the kids. I hate to say this, but most likely he will stay with his wife. I know you love him and can't imagine a life without him, but you have to right now. You're both obviously in marriages that aren't working. This is where you need to focus your efforts right now. If you're so in love with him wouldn't you want him fully devoted to you? I thought so. And if he truly loves you, then he'll want to be with YOU and only you. For your own health, well-being and safety, stay away from this right now. If there's any hope for the two of you, it will be later on when all the issues have been dealt with and all the pain has healed. I wish you all the best.
638400
YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. IT IS ABSOLUTELY CHEATING. IF HE'LL DO IT ON THE COMPUTER, THEN HE WILL DO IT IN REAL LIFE. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. EXPLAIN YOUR POSITION VERY THOROUGHLY, AND IF HE CONTINUES TO DO IT, THEN LEAVE, BECAUSE THE NEXT STEP IS CHEATING WITH YOUR NEIGHBOR, BEST FRIEND, SOME PROSTITUTE ON THE STREETCORNER. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO LEAVE, THEN WAIT AROUND AND SEE. I ONLY HOPE THAT ITS NOT TOO LATE AND YOU END UP WITH AIDS OR SOME OTHER STD, OR END UP WITH KIDS AND HE TAKES OFF FOR THE TWENTY-SOMETHING DOWN THE BLOCK. ANOTHER THING THAT YOU CAN DO IS TELL ALL OF THESE INTERNET FLOOZIES THAT HE IS A MARRIED MAN, AND YOU WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF THEY WOULD LEAVE HIM ALONE. A LITTLE POLITENESS CAN GO A LONG WAY, AND IT WILL ALSO DEPLETE HIS LITTLE STABLE. GOOD LUCK, LADY.
651896
I think you need to move on, last month!  This guy is abusive to you!  It doesn't matter how much you love him or how much he says he loves you, he is abusing you and it will only get worse.  He is knocking you down, making you feel less worthy than you are and it will result in you thinking that no other guy will ever love you!  This guy is a jerk!  You are an adult human being, not a baby who needs to ask someone's permission to do anything.  Don't try to kill yourself over him, lose him!  He is not worth it.  Love is not supposed to cause you to want to kill yourself, it is supposed to be releasing, happy, joyful...something to look forward to every day of your life!  Not to dread what comes next.  Do not sacrifice your dreams, friends, family, hopes and everything else, sacrifice him!  He WILL NOT CHANGE!  Don't think that he will change for you or because he loves you or because you will help/make him change.  Only he can change and only if he wants to.  It will get worse and you may end up in the hospital or a morgue.  Would you want your children having him dampen all their hopes and dreams?  He has wasted enough of your life, let him ruin his own and you begin your life anew.  Good luck, PLEASE!
446125
I'm not sure what kind of input you're looking for but I think you got some pretty decent input.  I'd tell you the same thing.  I was married to someone like that and he got very abusive with me.  You should definitely dump him.  I wouldn't give someone like that the time of day and if you actually cared about yourself at all you wouldn't either.  You're trying to look for answers within yourself that aren't there.  You can't blame yourself for the way he is.  Hes got serious problems and you'll have the same if you don't get away from him!  Good luck!
119088
firstly im sorry to hear that\nsecondly, it might sound a bit disgusting but tell him to masterbate or something, to sleep with a whore is just wrong and dirty but to blame ones actions on someone else to me is an even bigger wrong doing as well as being filthy!\nhe needs to sort his life out, and to do it now and get his head in order.\n\ngood luck, my love\nlots of love,hugs and kissess\namanda\nx x x x x x
249552
yeah i would say the same as above, you can certainly find a better man to be married to....he sounds like a scumbag.....good luck to you
260661
Holy crap you sound EXACTLY like me. Keep doing what you're doing. Sorry to all the wives out there, but you have no obligation to anyone except yourself. He's the married one, so he has to take responsibility for his actions if she finds out. Enjoy yourself. Life's short.
549863
He needs your love. To lose your love would be a blow to his ego. You mention he goes to strip bars, could be his own guilt is what he is taking out on you and I will tell you from experience, it does not change unless you both get consouling. (s) \nI had the same in my first marriage, thought it was me, I'm almost 60 now and know it sure as heck was not me, he threw an iron at me when I came out in a sexy nighty. Called me every name one would call a stripper all the slutty names, not anything to make me feel pretty or sexy, I was too young to use my head . . . use your head, he sure won't use his!   He is married, that carries responsability and that means he should not be in a strip bar, he should be with you, one flesh, eh? Please take care of your self, try to get help as a couple if not, you get help enough to get courage to be more independant from him and make some good choices for your future. I bet you are beautiful!  Please trust me, it is not you! Your words and caring show you are!
74214
Well Jess, I can really relate to your problem.  I was also in a 5 1/2 year relationship with a guy who was also in law enforcement.  He cheated on me with 22 women while we were together.  He, too, lied about EVERYTHING.  He had a lot of friends in law enforcement who were married, and they were all cheating on their wives.  I don't know what it is about that profession, but all of the ones I have known have become unfaithful to their partners.  And as for this other guy you are seeing... okay, maybe you didn't sleep with him YET, but the simple fact remains that he has a wife at home and if he is calling all of the time and telling you how much you mean to him, then he might as well be cheating!!  And you never know, law enforcement personnel are some of the most biggest manipulators in the world... he may be telling you that he doesn't want to cheat so that when it does finally happen, you won't feel so bad about it!  I understand how this man makes you feel, but your emotions are getting in the way because you are going through such a hard time with your husband.  You have to make a rational decision about this.  I think the best thing you can do is to leave your husband... he is no good for you and never will be.  Also leave the other guy alone because he will be doing the same thing before long!  I hope I have helped you and if you need someone to talk to more about your situation, please don't hesitate to contact me at nisey513@yahoo.com... Good luck!