I have been with my fiance for 6 years now, back in 2002 I got drunk and cheated on him....which I hate myself for and regret completly. I came clean and told him what happend. Well I just recently found out from my best friend (whom is also my fiance's best friend) that my fiance cheated on my back in the end of february. Well my best friend made me promise not to say anything to my fiance cause he promised(my fiance) he would let him be the one to be honest and come clean. Well my fiance hasnt....what do I do????? I cant go on pretending to be happy around my fiance, but I gave my work I would wait to really truly get angry and go off on him until he came clean!!!! Help please
214433
oh please dont let this eat at you.. it will blow up on you.. address it now... you dont have to tell him how you know although it may be obvious, but you never know.. rumors have a way of getting around.... just be honest and maybe pry until he lets it all out.. who knows it may not be as bad as you think and you dont want to jump to conclusions... until you hear his side you cant be happy
602176
Believe it or not, this just happened to me last night.  My boyfriend was married for 11 years and they split up 9 months ago.  We have been going out for the last two months.  Last night, after about two beers, he looked me right in the eyes and said "I love you so much Ch*&^%)(*%$#."  I couldn't believe it.  He kept telling me he was so sorry and I know he felt terrible, but It is eating at me today too.  I know it was an accident and he didn't mean it, so I have decided to just force myself to stop thinking about it.  I know he loves me and I know he doesn't want to go back to her.  He is very loving and attentive in so many ways, so my advice to both of us is to stop being so sensitive and admit that our boyfriends are human.  They make mistakes, I wouldn't want him to crucify me if I were in his shoes.\n\nGood Luck.
153789
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this man knowing that you lied to him about being a virgin?? Do you really want to live with that guilt? I don't know how long you two have been together, but you have already gone this long lieing to him, why would you want to go the rest of your life continueing to lie to him? As some of the others had said it's true that not everyne bleeds the first time, but still this is the man that your going to spend the rest of your life with, if you lie to him about this, it's going to make it that much easier to lie to him about other things. Think about the decision that your making. Think about if the roles were reversed and put yourself in his shoes, if this was him and he wasn't a virgin wouldn't you want to know before you both make a life changing decision? I myself am about to get married and my fiance and I have the best communication ever, I have told him all about my past and he has told me about his and we still love each other regardless of the decisions that we made before we were together.  If he really loves you than he will accept the fact that you were honest enough to tell him.  If he doesn't accept your past then maybe he's not the right man for you.  But morally, honesty is the best policy.  Be honest with the man and see what happens, if he gets mad at you and breaks off the wedding, then at least you know where he stands. But don't lie to him, just to make life easier on you.\n\nGood luck
503054
Stick with your fiance...in the end, he will prevail.  Long term relationships aren't easy and they require some work.  You can get the lust back into your relationship with your fiance, you just need to spice things up and talk to him.  You both need to talk to each other about trying new things, tell him what you want him to do and what you like...otherwise he'll never know he's not giving you what you need or want.  This guy may be a good bootycall but not worth losing love over.  You just want excitement and to feel your heart jumping again.  The best way I found to satisfy the thirst for those feelings, have your girls' night out and dance and flirt but don't let it get too far...score some free drinks and then go home and have hot wild monkey sex with your fiancee...lol.  But who I am to tell you how to live your life.  Do what you feel is best for you...follow your intuition.  Best of luck!
179512
You still seem to be focused on your own feelings. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it. Why are you bringing up hurt feelings. He has said that it is over and he forgives you. You seem  to be dwelling on it as if you feel that he didn't punish you enough. Sometimes you have to accept that everything will not get the necessary 'closure' that we all need. He might be the type of person who likes to work out their issues quietly within himself. He might be one of the types of men who heal better by just having time and thought. If he feels you are pushing him so you can have some kind of GUILT RELIEF and call it closure, he just might leave. You feel taken for granted but guilty about what you did. You want closure. You feel like he doesn't love YOU. You don't talk about it (You and he). You are willing to talk. You have changed.  He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't see the change. I would be tired of you if I was him your whole thing seems so self motivated and yet you are the one who messed up. It depends on what you did because if you cheated, honey he will never forget that and you will have to either stick in there until he is ready to completely forgive you or you can let him find someone who is more interested in the word WE and not HE and I.
316228
First of all remind him that he told you this stuff when he was drunk. He will either apologize to you or tell you that's how he really feels. If you confront him about it by asking him what he was trying to prove by telling you this when he was drunk; he will be in a position to either deny it or confirm it. If he does tell you that he remembers and meant it, then you can tell him how you feel. Good Luck!
171533
is there any reason to tell him other than to just get it off of your chest? if there is no way he is ever going to find out about it, then dont tell him. Even if it happened a long time ago, he could still feel betrayed. like i said. he has all the right to be pissed if you told him already. but if you guys are good friends you will be able to forget about it over a couple cases of beer.
445287
Leave things alone and let it work itself out. You haven't done anything so if you start trying to fix it then it's only going to make you look even more guilty. He'll learn in time that you never did any of the things she said and he'll have to be the one to find a way to make it up to you. Let him see that your a stronger person then what she is making you out to be. and he will respect you more for it. I would just let him know that your not guilty but your not going to start trying to prove it to him either, and that he'll have to work it out himself. If you start having to prove things to someone you will be having to prove things to them from now on. If his going to believe you then let nature take its course. As for her why are you even friends with her. Dump her and if you do date her ex so what, that's why his her ex.
380449
Sweetheart - if he was absolutely hammered and said he had no recollection of doing anything then he must've been unconcious. From my experience when I guy is absolutely blotto then they are usually incapable of having sex at all! (if you know what I mean). \n\nYes, he may have been drunk, and yes, he may have regretted it but for him to say that he was so drunk that he didn't remember a thing.....don't believe it. \n\nPlus this whole thing about being angry with you - absolutely no excuse. I get angry with my boyfriend sometimes but I don't go out and shag the nearest bloke to me. \n\nThe reason why he's taken 3 weeks to tell you was probably because he was deeply ashamed, and probably scared that you'd tell him to pack his bags and leave. That fact that you guys have been together for 5 years makes things even more difficult to try and deal with so no wonder you think you're losing the plot! If this was a relationship that you'd been in for a year or less then I would advise you to dump the loser and move on with your life. But the fact that you guys have been together for 5 years - that says a lot. Plus, people do tend to think that if they can get away with something they ususally try to, so i applaud for your boyf for having the guts to tell you.\n\nYou need to seriously think about whether you'll be able to forgive him for this. People can think they can forgive a partner for cheating etc but what usually happens is that they don't. Every time you guys have an argument, the fact that he cheated on you may rear its ugly head. Everytime he goes out with the boys, will you really be able to trust him? Everytime he looks at another girl, how will you feel?\n\nWhat do you want from the future? Can you see this guy being the guy you settle down with? If you can, then you need to learn to be strong, forgive him and forget (in the best way you can) about this horrid little incident. \n\nIf I were you, I would sit down and talk to your fella and tell him exactly how this has made you feel. If you feel that you're strong enough to forgive him, and he promises never to do anything nearly resembling this again, then go for it and I really wish you both the best for the future. If you feel that you would find it impossible to forgive, then tell him that you feel absolutely so betrayed that you cannot see a way in your heart to forgive him, and that you must move on. It will hurt, but ultimately you'll be fine in the long run. \n\nRemember that time is a great healer, whatever you decide to do.\n\nGood luck chica! xx
170371
This will probably haunt you for the rest of your life if you don't come clean with your friend. Take her to a quiet place and just be honest with her. Remember friends should be able to tell friends everything! Of course you must expect her to be upset at first but if she is truly your best friend she should forgive you. Be honest. Tell her why it happened and why you are telling her the truth. This will also let her know what type of guy she is dating. \n\nI hope it works out for you.
515390
I understand your love for your fiance as you gave him a second chance in hopes of savaging your relationship with him.  There are a few things to consider here:\n\nThe 1st is that he has not been entirely up front with you about his side relationship which most likely means that he doesn't really want you to find out because either he feels guilty about it or he feels that you would be upset by it or both.  \n\nSecondly, for most men, if they have cheated on your once, they will most likely do it again because it gives them pleasure to be with different women.  Clearly, if I may be blunt, he isn't entirely satisfied with you and you can be the most perfect woman in the world, but to him, the excitement is no longer there and he'll need to find other women to please himself.  \n\nThirdly, either you're easily fooled or he's really good about hiding his "other" relationship from you enough for you to not probe him for the longest time. If this is going to be your relationship with him down the road, you're going to be always on your feet worrying about when is the next time your fiance is going to have another woman that you don't know about.  Its a very tiring game...\n\nI know you love your fiance and he should be grateful to have such a forgiving woman by his side, but how many times are you prepared to forgive him?  How about let's turn the table around and say if you cheated on him?  Would he be as forgiving as you?   \n\nGive your relationship with him a few thoughts.  Maybe it might just work out, but its not going to be easy.
318412
Watch my best friends wedding. She told him but it didnt work out but atleast she got it off her chest. If you dont tell him you will regret it for the rest of your life! Think long and hard if you already regret not telling him before it'll be 10X worse later! Good luck
141084
Tell him that you were deeply hurt by what he did and that it will take a very long time for him to earn your trust back. Tell him that you love him very deeply and you only want to love him more. Stop making cracks about it. It's pretty messed up. He probably feels horrible about lying (hopefully) and that will only make him hate himself more. BTW about it being a learning tool, don't believe that crock of bull. A previous *friend* that was a girl told me that she would teach me how to treat a girl right and all we did was make out, but I don't count that as a teaching tool, we straight up made out. I don't try to tell my fiancee' any story about it being a teaching lesson, I straight up told her: Before I was with you, I made out with another girl. I wasn't in love with her. I was infatuated with her. It was a crush and would have never become anything more. But that's about all you can do. Tell him to stop making excuses for his actions and that it will be harder for you to trust him in the future. He may never earn your trust back, but in the end, it's all up to you.\n\nHad something similair happen with my fiancee'. She lied about being raped. It really hurt me, probably more than your hurting right now. She earned my trust back, but i'm still very cautious!
620363
NOT TO BE MEAN SWEETIE, BUT YOU SEEM TO BE POSITIVE HE'S NOT CHEATING.  NOW REALLY, HOW CAN YOU BE SO POSITIVE?  IS HE JUST THE ONLY MAN WHO WOULD NEVER CHEAT?  HE MUST BE.  AND AGAIN, I'M NOT SAYING THIS TO BE CRUEL.  IT'S JUST THAT YOU SEEM TO BE BLINDED AND I'M TRYING TO OPEN YOUR EYES UP TO THE POSSIBLITIES.  IT WON'T HURT AS MUCH, SHOULD YOU FIND OUT AN AWFUL TRUTH.\n\nI THINK IT HURTS MORE WHEN YOU'RE COMPLETELY BLIND SIDED AND YOU'RE LIKE WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?  WELL I'LL TELL YOU, A SEMI TRUCK JUST CRUSHED YOU, YOUR LIFE, YOUR HOPES, YOUR DREAMS, ETC...............\n\nAND I'M NOT SAYING HE'S CHEATING, CUZ I DON'T KNOW HIM.  POOR GUY, BUT HIS BEHAVIOR DOES INDICATE SIGNS OF CHEATING.  IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH YOU.  MAYBE HE'S GUILTY, MAYBE YOU MAKE HIM EXTREMELY NERVOUS.  MAYBE HE'S SHY.\n\nTHE ANTS IN HIS PANTS, WELL SOUNDS LIKE A GUY WHO JUST KEEPS ON GOING AND CAN'T STOP FOR TWO SECONDS TO TAKE A BREAK.  THAT'S NORMAL I GUESS, AS NORMAL AS NORMAL GETS.  THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM.  THE PROBLEM IS HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU.  THAT'S THE BIG ISSUE HERE.\n\nYOU REALLY NEED TO EITHER KEEP YOUR FEELINGS ON THE DOWN LOW, OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE ANY OTHER SIGNS LURKING AROUND AND CATCH HIM WITH HIS PANTS DOWN; OR YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN WITH HIM AND TALK TO HIM. COMMUNICATION IS A HUGE THING IN A RELATIONSHIP AND PEOPLE FORGET THAT.  HOW MANY RELATIONSHIPS WOULD NOT BE SAVED IF ONLY THE COUPLES WOULD SIT DOWN AND FREAKING TALK THINGS OUT FOR ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!! GEEZ.\n\nSO TALK TO HIM, TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL, ASK HIM WHY HE'S AVOIDING YOU.  IS IT SOMETHING YOU SAID, SOMETHING YOU DID?  FIND OUT WHY AND DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH, AH IT'S NOTHING HONEY, YOU'RE JUST BEING SILLY.  OR HEAVEN FORBID HE GET IRATE WITH YOU AND PUT IT ALL ON YOU.  CUZ BABY GIRL THAT'S ANOTHER SIGN OF CHEATING.  THEIR GUILTY AND WHEN YOU CALL THEM ON SOMETHING, THEY PUT IT ALL ON THE OTHER PERSON.\n\nI WISH YOU LUCK AND HOPE THAT YOU RESOLVE THIS ISSUE WITH YOUR HUSBAND.  CUZ I FEEL FOR YOU, I MEAN WHY DO WE GET MARRIED IF NOT FOR A LOVE, A LOVER, A COMPANION, A FRIEND AN EVERYTHING?  ALSO I FORGOT TO ANSWER YOUR ORIGINAL QUESTION: DO I THINK YOU'RE OVER REACTING?  HELL NO!  SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT.  YOU FIND OUT.  TAKE CARE.
303873
Confront him and Break your engagement, his not worth it, you deserve better. Dont let him sweet talk you, he did it once, he'll probably try again if you give him a second chance
25139
Well something like that is hard to let go. Because it keep replaying in your mind. If you are afradi of this happing again more than likely it will happen again. Because I had a ex-fiance that cheated left and right. He also told me that he would never do it again. But he did. Once they do it they contuine to do it. So your best bet would be to move on with your life with out him...
500751
I don't mean to be judgmental but the least of your concern should be telling your bestfriend about it.\n\nYour concern should be first and foremost is the way you've been behaving (especially if it's still ongoing) and why did you allow yourself to be in this kind of situation and deceived the person whom you consider to be your bestfriend.\n\nI know that you are very much aware that what you're doing is downright wrong.  People will be telling you a lot of things with the foremost emphasis that you need to stop.  Maybe these will fall on deaf ears.  Maybe it will not.\n\nAnd my prayer is that it don't, that you will choose to act upon the situation and come to the realization that you are not only hurting your bestfriend but you're hurting yourself as well.\n\nYou've allowed yourself to be the "other woman" and settled...