I have social anxiety, and have tried many different ways of ridding myself of the problem.  I've seen three therapists, been on many different medications, but something inside of me won't let me get even one step closer to being normal.\n\nI'm not shy around friends or people I'm close with, just around people in power and women.  For example, I need to get my medical records transferred from one doctor to another.  I know the original doctor will ask me why I'm transferring records (the reason being, I don't feel like he's done a good job), but instead of talking to someone at his office directly, I left a message on his answering machine at night.  Also, whenever I see a cute girl somewhere, I have this deep desire to approach her, but I just can't.  I feel strange even making eye contact.  I'm especially awkward in situations where I know someone, but I'm not sure if they remember me.  I just don't know what to do, so I try to avoid the situation as much as possible.  What can I do?
217188
It sounds like you may have some self-esteem issues as well as social anxiety.  Maybe you need to request to a therapist that you focus on your self-esteem and assertiveness and by focusing more on that, I'm sure you can overcome your social anxiety without even having to resort to medications.
181221
You may have an anxiety disorder called social phobia.\n\nSocial Phobia, or Social Anxiety Disorder, is an anxiety disorder characterized by overwhelming anxiety and excessive self-consciousness in everyday social situations. Social phobia can be limited to only one type of situation, such as a fear of speaking in formal or informal situations, or eating or drinking in front of others, or, in its most severe form, may be so broad that a person experiences symptoms almost anytime they are around other people.\n\nPeople with social phobia have a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being watched and judged by others and being embarrassed or humiliated by their own actions. Their fear may be so severe that it interferes with work or school, and other ordinary activities. Physical symptoms often accompany the intense anxiety of social phobia and include blushing, profuse sweating, trembling, nausea, and difficulty talking.
602469
You might want to check out information on Social Phobia. This is one of the most common forms of anxiety disorders (more common than Agoraphobia). Over 7% of the population suffers from social anxiety disorder.\n\nIf you have social phobia you usually worry that others will notice your anxiety because of your blushing, sweating, shaking, or difficulty getting your words out, (for example).\n\nOther fears triggered by social situations include:\n\n    * I'll look uncomfortable or awkward\n    * I'll seem weird or strange\n    * I'll appear stupid or incompetent\n    * I'll look embarrassed\n    * I'll be boring\n\nThese fears tend to be triggered when just anticipating the social situation. You may also have noticed that, after the event, you often feel bad or worse when thinking about how you "performed". How you actually felt in the situation can play a big role in this "post-mortem". \n\nThe Social Phobia/Social Anxiety Association, a non-profit organization, seeks to educate about social phobia:\nhttp://www.socialphobia.org/\n\nThey list some good self help books here:\nhttp://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/bookstore.html\n\nYou should talk with your doctor and ask for a referral to a psychologist who specailizes in Anxiety Disorders.
63634
It sounds like you suffer from anxiety disorder as well as some depression. They usually go hand in hand. I would recommend talking to a doctor, there are some support groups as well as self help books you can get. The self help books may be a good start if you are not keen on socializing with others just yet.
341403
Have you tried approaching people? I know approaching people can be scary but whats worse? surly you have seen certain groups having fun. Pick out someone and approach them & suggest you go to  a movie or grab some burgers after class. Try not to get your feelings hurt if they cant. Maybe they have plans already, Maybe they arent intrested. Try it a couple times. Exchange phone #s. Most people are scared to approach people. The diffrence between them & you is they already know people, you dont. wich is worse? Feeling slightly embarresed by approching someone. or Crying in your books every day? Good luck. Use some of that old confadince, you can do it!
322078
Sounds to me like you need friends who will encourage you and be confidence builders. You're going it alone and your shyness is holding you back and this is where good friends will step in and give you support. Reach out, make friends who will help you feel more secure about yourself. Some of us here list our emails and message links to be of help. Take advantage of this and the experience others may have that can offer you support and advice as friends should.\n\nBest Wishes!!
152314
Don't worry,you're normal...you just don't want other people to feel uncomfortable with you around..you want to make them feel happy..you always think about others instead of yourself.That's good but you HAVE to learn to love yourself too.Don't let people take you for granted.Hope this answer helps..
64331
Everyone feels shy sometimes, but being too shy can hamper many aspects of your life.\n \n \nSteps:\n1.  Determine why you're shy in the first place. For example, are you scared of what someone might say about your physical appearance? Remember, there's an underlying reason for how you react in situations.\n \n2.  Act as if you're not shy. In private, behave as if you're oozing confidence. Hold your chin up, stick your chest out, add a swagger to your walk and speak firmly. It may seem ridiculous, but you will see results when you're out in public.\n \n3.  Practice making eye contact and smiling in your interactions with others. Strike up casual conversations with strangers about weather or current events.\n \n4.  Look your best. One way to improve self-consciousness is to always look good and limit ways you can be self-critical.\n \n5.  Lower your fear of rejection by imagining the worst possible outcome. If you approach someone, they may say "no" or they may just walk away. Absolutely everybody has been rejected at some point, but no one has to dwell on it.\n \n6.  Look and learn. Watching friends or even strangers who aren't shy is a good way to learn some tips first-hand.\n \n7.  Feel positive about yourself, don't get frustrated and have fun. Remember, the real goal is to find someone who will like you for who you are.
275239
You get over your shyness by, if necessary, making yourself talk to someone. I know it's not easy. I'm shy too. But I MAKE myself talk to people and when conversation is started, then the next logical step is dating. Smile, and be friendly to men where you go....grocery store, gas station, post office, etc. There are a lot of good, decent guys out there, and one of them is waiting for a nice Lady like you. Good Luck!
125357
I spent a little time in Tempe, and walking in the bike lanes is a good way to encounter people - people who'll run ya over!  Ever been hit by a bicyclist who's not paying attention?  I have, and despite being a b*i*g strong guy - that hurt!  Get the heck back onna sidewalk, dude!\n\nSome people do want to be surrounded with people.  They function at their best in a room jam-packed with other folks.  They absolutely thrive on the noise, the odor (!), the hustle and bustle, the unavoidable bodily contact, and all that.  And some folks abhor such situations.  Niether type of person is a perv.  Each is perfectly within the "normal" range of social interaction.  Each is, if all else is equal, just as successful at life as the other. Although often the folks who like big crowds of people will try and tell everyone that they're the more successful, studies show that's rarely true.\n\nAfter that's said, I suspect your case is a bit different.  It is a bit unusual to go to the lengths you describe to avoid personal closeness to others, but it is not necessarily a sign of a problem.  If it appears that your aversion to physical proximity to other folks is messing up your life in a serious way, then you may benefit from some counselling.  Ya probably don't need medication, so don't let the idea of immediately being prescribed a pill scare you away from looking for someone with professional credentials to help ya out.\n\nOkay, so you're not sure you have a real problem.  The mental health professional can help you ease your mind in that regard - I, too, tend to shy away from large groups as well as some individuals - and I'm a health professional!\nSome groups I just don't want to deal with, and some individuals, putting it bluntly, scare me.  Oh, I'm perfectly capable of defending myself physically, unless the other dude is a real giant - but I'd just rather not have to confront that possibility.  Did that for years in the Army and I'm just tired of it.\n\nI tell you all this knowing that you have your own reasons for avoiding certain groups and certain individuals, to help you realize that you aren't necessarily "abnormal".  But ya know - it really might help to clarify that with a mental health professional.  If there's really nothing terribly wrong, he or she will help you realize that and you can go on living the sort of life you choose, rather than trying too hard to live as you think others expect you to.  Easiest way to get started is to visit your county office of mental health and ask to speak to an intake person.  Don't be afraid of telling the receptionist why - that helps them set you up with the right professional person.  And don't wait - get your questions answered and get on with your life.  Good luck!  Man, I'd love to be in Arizona right now, instead of wet, chilly ol' New York State!  You lucky, yo!
379234
Hi,\n\nJust to let you know a lot of people feel the same way, but try and relax and take a few deep breaths and tell yourself that you can do it.\nI was shy when i was a child but working in a hospital has made me more out going.\nA great book to read is Feel the fear and do it any way:- By Susan Jeffers. \nYou can get it in any good book shop or library.\nT.
301578
I can relate with you as even I am an introvert but I try my best to step out of the comfort zone. Make a conscious effort everyday to say Hi to everyone you know. That would improve your confidence with the people you know. Once you realise you are being accepted by them, you will slowly gain confidence and then you can try the same with meeting new people. A casual talk on the weather or the surrounding is the perfect ice-breaker. Its all in the mind, and once you conquer it no one can stop you from being an extrovert.
446366
I know how you feel, many people do.  I get anxious about being around people I am unfamiliar with.  As for starting new things, I've just found that it gets better with practice.  The more new things you can get yourself to do (start small) the easier these things will become.  When you do acomplish something, give yourself praise for summing up courage.  \n\nThis does sound like social anxiety disorder.  My psychology professor said that a great first step in conquering S.A.D. is by simply smiling or saying hello to people as you pass them (like at a park, or in your neighborhood).
54889
Steps\n\n   1. Talk to a psychologist, psychiatrist, or a medical professional who can help you deal with the condition. Whether your medical practioner prescribes medication, cognitive therapy, or any other form of treatment, they should be the ones you should contact.\n   2. Surround yourself with a support network. It can be friends, family, or anyone you feel will help and support you. You can join a support group. Do research on the internet, it's a treasure chest of information. Having people around who care helps a lot.\n   3. Retrain your brain. Put up little post-its on the wall, fridge, mirror, behind the door. Wherever you can see them. Write messages like "I am a beautiful person". "I am deserving". "I am happy". "I can do anything I put my mind to". Or any other inspirational phrases that you can think of.\n   4. Take baby steps with a little bit of exposure and treat yourself when you have completed your goals. For example, if you have a fear of taking buses, one day get on a bus and stay on for 1 or 2 stops. You're slowly exposing yourself to the situation that you are afraid of, and slowly learning to conquer your fear. This is what they call baby steps. Don't start big, start small. \n\n------------------------------------------------------\n\nFor more help on social anxiety, visit:\nhttp://wiki.ehow.com/Bring-Severe-Social-Anxiety-Under-Control
418778
You are right, they do feel awkward.  This leads them to ask you a lot of stupid questions in an attempt to have a conversation, which makes you feel awkward because you are shy.  It feels like prying.  Try and think up something you can talk about that will engage others-- maybe a hobby or some interesting book you just read.  Be a little more proactive and it feel feel less like an inquisition.
380536
I've been threw this, and i got over by challenging my self every day, try just a few things at first like saying hello to strangers(but be careful of wich strangers) then go further every day, like trying to strike a converstion with some one new, have things of interest ready(yeah you'll have to do some work) like games, politics, sports etc. and when you feel like the conversation is diying ask for and explination like on baseball ask for the rules. Becouse people like to talk...alot.\nAny way, this is how i got over this, hope it helps, and dont be afraid, after all its just people, have fun!
570269
talk to a doctor, it sounds like you have some unresolved issues from the past, and maybe social anxiety disorder