aiight heres tha deal...me and my boyfriend been going 2gether 4 some months now,and its all good&gravy (even though we got our issues) but before we hooked up i was 'talking' ta dis other boy n he got locked up, now hes in prison-till 09 (i knew him ALL my life),i told him i would wait for him.however my boyfriend now wants me to move in wit him next year,and he already got plans 4 us...he already want me 2 have his baby...BUT ma dude in prison got plans 4 me and him when he get out.i love 'em both but i don't want to hurt anybody's feeling & i know i was wrong for doing this but what should i do?
200962
Okay Miss B,\n\nWoman to woman, I am going to be straight with you. The guy that is in prison is going to have an extremely difficult time with employment and other things that require a criminal and credit check. Are you willing to carry him through that? You will more than likely be his sole provider until he is able to find a job. If the guy you are with now really loves you and is making an effort to treat you well and commit to you, why ruin a good thing to wait on someone who is going to be totally dependent on you? I know it is a tough situation to weigh, but you have to also think about your role in both their lives. Are you going to be willing to sacrifice things for the guy that is in prison? Are you willing to get rid of what seems like a nice guy, to wait for someone who is going to have multiple issues?
118153
Dear girl, Oh my... I wish you had asked for advice 2 years ago; perhaps much of your pain could have been avoided.\n\nYou say you two have NOT been in a committed relationship for over 2 years and you are still with him. WHY are you still in this relationship? He's NOT committed to you and hasn't been for 2 years! Is he sleeping with other women? Are you sleeping w/ other men? Have you even thought about the risk of HIV and AIDS? You two have a child now. And my dear, why did you get pregnant with a man who hasn't been committed to you? You should never have sex with any man who is not committed to you. He gets sex, you get hurt. It happens every time. Unfortunately, you are not the  only one getting hurt; you have made a baby and brought your child into this situation. \n\nDo you two still live together because you have a child, or because it's easier than moving out? Let me ask you, does he support you and your child financially? Are you you paying any of the bills? Are you paying bills for your baby? If your baby's father is not supporting you 100% emotionally AND financially, then you are better off leaving for good, once and for all. I am sorry to say this, but it sounds to me like he may be using this "money issue" as an excuse and he doesn't have the guts to get out of the relationship. Some men can't handle being fathers, especially if they are not in love with the baby's mother. Having a baby brings a couple in love even closer, but couples who are not in love do not get closer after the baby is born.\n\nI wish I could tell you otherwise, but I definitlely think it's time for you both to be grownups. Living the way you both are is not the adult, responsible way to solve this problem. Make an agreement regarding the child's support and visitation and part company amicably. Many women with small children meet other men who do love them and will be committed to them and their child/children. My father met my mother when she was a yound divorcee with a 2 year old and married her and proceeded to have 2 more children with her. They were married 53 years until he passed. There is hope for you to do the same.\n\nIf you are not good with $$$, then take some money management classes (@ a local school, community college, aid center). You will need these skills whether you are on your own or not. \n\nIf you were not honest regarding $$$ with your partner, then I suggest you get to church, temple, etc., and you start being honest with God and yourself. Remember, you have a child you need to be teaching good values to now. If you were honest, then you're okay there, but going to a place to have a relationship with God will still be powerful for you at this time. \n\nYou CAN start a new and better life. Don't give up on yourself, no matter how hard it may be at times!
220378
im sorry. i thought i was in love with my bf too. he was 21 and i am 16. he always forced me to do things with him and to him i didnt want to do. if it wasnt for him i would still be a virgin. i never was willing to do anything he wanted me too. he was alot bigger than me too. and he abused me, verbally, physically,and sexually.untill he got me pregnant and forced me to have an abortion(somethin i regret so so much and never would have done willingly)after that i finally got up the courage to dump him and i found a guy my age. i know this isnt what u want to hear(trust me, i know, i heard the same things)but i dont think u should stay with him( i realize u might not want to take advice from someone that is younger than u by like a year)if he forces u to do anything sexually then he doesnt really love u or care for u. ur just a sex toy for him to manipulate. im sorry this is happening to u, it is somthing i wouldnot wish on anyone, u should know what i mean by that, its a horrible and emotional wrecking thing to go through, im still not over it nor will i ever be the same again. i have to go to counseling every day of my life for probably the rest of my life, i will probably be taking a high dosage of anti-depressants for the rest of my life because i let him take me too far before i was brave enough to stand up to him and get rid of him. my question for u is how long are u gonna wait, how much are u gonna put up with untill u break it off b4 u have life altering events like i did. i promise u that ur life will never be the same after  u put up with to much, it sounds to me like u have already put up with to much. please dont stay with this guy. do u know that him forcing u to have sex with him wether it be oral or casual, it is rape. i wish u the best and i will be praying for u. please contact me at purplollipop1606@yahoo.com and let me know what u decide. im very worried for u and id just like to know if u end up okay.
118672
Do they have his undivided attention? Is he going to get out and do what it takes never to go back?....Babydoll, I don't know your jailbird, so I can't make any comment about whether or not he'd be worth waiting for, but I can tell you this, with absolute certainty: Loving an inmate is a VERY HARD ROAD....it's about slogging through endless paperwork, it's trying to keep up with rules that seem to change every week, it's waiting for incredibly expensive collect phone calls that might or might not come and when he doesn't call, praying with all your heart that the phones in the day room are just either too busy or broken and that he's not hurt or on lockdown, it's becoming obsessive about checking your mail and the heartsick feeling that comes over you when the letter you want so badly isn't there,it's about getting writers cramp and spending $20 a week on stamps and stationary, it's about dealing with either keeping it secret or dealing with disapproval of the relationship everywhere you turn and mostly it means living in a future you can't be sure of and that really does take a toll.\nIf I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, but I've loved the guy for over 20 years and I can't quit now...and I'm almost 40, so it's not as if I'm spending my youth dealing with the Dept.of Corrections...think carefully, Sweetie, it is a hard, hard thing to do and no guarantees
324543
There a guy just like that in my life, I used to confine in him cause he was a good riend and he told me once that he like me and I should be with him even if it was a secret relationship, I told him I can't do that cause no matter how my bf hurt me I still love him and I am not going to leave him. I made my decision based on the vibes I was getting from the other guy. You need to ask your boyfriend's brother about his whereabouts on particular days. Use you woman's intuition, most of the time it is right and on clue. You need answers and you need them answered. But tell that guy exactly what is on your mind. Don't completely trust him. Take everything at face value and question other things completely.
306293
I am a single mother of two kids, ages 13 and 14, and i go to college full time.  I just ended a relationship with my boyfriend because he said i didnt havent time for him. He was always bitching so i fired him.  Anyway, i can see where you are coming from.  I talk to someone who lives far away, and i seem to feel like i have known this person forever.  He is really great!  Although, i do seem to have feelings for him, but i really dont think that will work out because of the distance between us.  If he lived closer, and to be honest, with everything that is going on with me now, im not ready for another relationship. Maybe when i get out of school, but for now, just me and my kids and my school work.  Of course, the kids come before everthing.  Anyway, not sure how to give u a straight up answer.  It could go either way.  Good luck with school. I think its great that your doing all that.  Im not working right now and going crazy with it all but i will graduate in December of this year and it will be all worth it!  What ever u do, dont let a relationship come before your son and your schoolwork.  You are working hard at a brighter future for u and your son.  You can do it!  You dont need a man to take care of you or your son. Does the guy live close by?  Anyway, I think it is possible to love someone you never met, but is it wise?  It seems kind of scary, but i wouldnt get my hopes up.  You have to be aware of the possible dangers, even if you talk to him all the time, doesnt mean that you truly know him.  Watch yourself, for u and your son.  We have some real sickos out here.  Anyway, good luck with school and dont give up.  I cant tell u how many times i wanted to give up.  Just watch yourself.  Bye for now!
380324
Have you had your baby yet?!?!?  Last I heard you were nine months pregnant.  Seems like that's the more important issue to take care of before you hook up with another guy.
447793
YOUR IN LOVE AND YOU'VE GOT EACH OTHER. HE JUST GOT A JOBL, THINGS ARE GOING TO BE VERY BLESSED IN YEAR TWO. SAVE THE MONEY, STAY IN AND PRAISE GODS HOLY NAME!!!\n\n\nGOD BLESS
504396
Call the Courts of whatever city he is in....I think you should not listen to these other people saying you should not marry someone in Jail.....You cant help whom you love and if you feel you love this person no matter what then do whatever it takes to marry him!  When you are in love you will always love that perosn.....Unconditionally!   I hope you figure out how to marry him!  Hes lucky to have his girlfriend out there supporting him, trying to make you two "one".....Let me know how everything works out!  And Good Luck!
407552
You have tons and tons of company!\nCheck out http://www,prisontalk.com\n\n(and be thankful it's only until March, I have 3 people I care about inside... two are lifers and I won't get my baby brother back until 2014)
340517
They there bubby! I gave you an answer last month regarding your BF who is in jail and demanding you send him money... I thought by now you would have left him because it sounds like he's having an extra marital affair in there, or he's paying for his drug habit... Quit sending him money now... E-mail me personally and lets talk...Been there and done that scene many times with my significant other and eventually caught him cheating on me so I left him after our 14 year relationship... He kept bothering me and wouldn't find a job and expected me to support him and finance his drug habit, so I went home clear across the State of Alaska, and you now how big our state is... Since then, I've got my life back, a new job and making more money and saving and planning on going on a vacation to meet this guy I met on the internet and hopefully take him home and start my life over again..... I occassionaly miss him and think about him but life goes on.... So I weigh the pros and cons of our past relationship and stop thinking about him and pat myself in the back for taking my life back towards the positive side and don't plan on returning to him... I used to go to the library to use a computer to check my e-mail, but since then I have been able to buy my own computer and alot of other things that I couldn't buy when I was with him..... I look forward to hearing from you Tracer and think positive and things will work out for you.... Otherwise do you have IM/chat so we can talk without having to wait for each others reply? So let's chat and come up with some alternatives to ease your pain.... I have yahoo messenger...
295107
I was in this exact same position a few months ago. \n\nI hadnt known him that long, however. \nI was thinking the same thing when I first got with him. \nWell, now it is definitely worth it to me. I am engaged. \n\nHeres my advice. \nIf you honestly feel that he is going to change (I dont know what his crimes were.) than I woudl say give him the chance. My fiances crimes were violent and drug related and I still gave him that chance (completely unaware of what could have happened.)\nMy best advice is if you do give it a shot (which I hope you will because evryone deserves that second chance.) \nBE PREPARED! \nThere may be a few slip-ups. (for example: if his crimes were drug related, expect maybe drinking or maybe pot somking.)\nBe patient and set yourself a limit and stick to it. \nDont ever let his betraying behavior get in the way and make rules before you start into a relationship. \n(no drinking, smoking, doing drugs...whatever.) \nThis way you have the law laid down and you and he both know where the relationship will end. \n\nIf its important to you, it should be important to him as well. \n\n\nGOOD LUCK SWEETIE!
599460
Is he in love with you? Is your husband in jail? Ummm. I say you have a serious problem. How old are your children? Follow your heart - it is the only way to be happy. Even if other people will get hurt.
225266
You have to do something, you can press charges by aking help from organizations that deals with this. They will give you free lawyer, counselling, etc. After he's in jail, forget about him and the hurting experiences, move on girl, you deserve more than him and you should be happy.You are still lucky because he showed his true colors and you're not married yet and without kids. Trust me, it's like hell!\nBe happy girl, you'll find someone who will respect and love you all the way! Best regards!
634992
I wouldn't keep waiting....it sounds like he's just dragging you along.  You've waited a long time.  Break up with him.
22459
This is going to end badly for everybody.\n\nIf the person with whom you're cheating also knows you're cheating he probably is going to be very happy about seeing you re-commit yourself to your boyfriend, especially after having been with him for four months.  On the other hand, if the boyfriend finds out (does the other guy know him?  if so, he may tell your boyfriend about your illicit relationship)from someone other than you THAT is going to be really ugly.\n\nSo, if you want to stay with the boyfriend then tell him what's been going on, and then break it off with guy #2.
326643
talk to him. you love him whatever the decision is. i think it is important you two make up your minds first. does he want to stay with his girlfriend and why is it that the two of you always end up together. easy answer i guess. but does it make sense to give in every time you meet? do you want to progress - or do you love him and want to know better..? last but not least.. just enjoy that there's someone special like this boy in your life. guess he will be there always whatever your decision. good luck.