See, I had this guy that I loved. But I tried to leave him alone because it was obvious that he didn't feel the things that i felt. So i moved on to a guy who got locked up in dec. But I couldn't talk to him because he is in jail. Well the day after i finally decided to leave the one i love alone, the one in jail called. We had a good conversation and then yesterday, the one i love called me and left a messsage saying he loves me. What should I do?
208656
Sweetheart, all u need to do is search your heart and soul and u will find the right answer for u!  Which man would it absolutely kill u to never see again?  THATS the man you need to choose!  He is the one u love and need to be with!  You need to sit down and think things completely thru and make sure u r doing what is best for u and your future.  Life is way too short to spend it with someone u do not love.  YOU HAVE to go with the man your heart aches for!  Any other choice would not be true to you.  And you always have to be true to yourself above all else!  Good luck to u!
340517
They there bubby! I gave you an answer last month regarding your BF who is in jail and demanding you send him money... I thought by now you would have left him because it sounds like he's having an extra marital affair in there, or he's paying for his drug habit... Quit sending him money now... E-mail me personally and lets talk...Been there and done that scene many times with my significant other and eventually caught him cheating on me so I left him after our 14 year relationship... He kept bothering me and wouldn't find a job and expected me to support him and finance his drug habit, so I went home clear across the State of Alaska, and you now how big our state is... Since then, I've got my life back, a new job and making more money and saving and planning on going on a vacation to meet this guy I met on the internet and hopefully take him home and start my life over again..... I occassionaly miss him and think about him but life goes on.... So I weigh the pros and cons of our past relationship and stop thinking about him and pat myself in the back for taking my life back towards the positive side and don't plan on returning to him... I used to go to the library to use a computer to check my e-mail, but since then I have been able to buy my own computer and alot of other things that I couldn't buy when I was with him..... I look forward to hearing from you Tracer and think positive and things will work out for you.... Otherwise do you have IM/chat so we can talk without having to wait for each others reply? So let's chat and come up with some alternatives to ease your pain.... I have yahoo messenger...
93556
I have bad news for you: YOU are playing *him*.  He's been nothing but honest with you, and you're not being honest even with yourself.  You know how he feels, yet still keep in contact with him... because you like the attention.  He makes you feel good about yourself.  But you're only stringing him along.
215735
Are you sure you want to put yourself in that situation. It doesn't really sound like a start to a healthy relationship.  Why is he in jail? Does the reason he is in there bother you at all?
90765
Oh, Honey...I feel ya! I don't know your jailbird, so I can't make any comment about whether or not he's worth waiting for, but I can tell you this, with absolute certainty: Loving an inmate is a VERY HARD ROAD....it's about slogging through endless paperwork, it's trying to keep up with rules that seem to change every week, it's waiting for incredibly expensive collect phone calls that might or might not come and when he doesn't call, praying with all your heart that the phones in the day room are just either too busy or broken and that he's not hurt or on lockdown, it's becoming obsessive about checking your mail and the heartsick feeling that comes over you when the letter you want so badly isn't there,it's about getting writers cramp and spending $20 a week on stamps and stationary, it's about dealing with either keeping it secret or dealing with disapproval of the relationship everywhere you turn and mostly it means living in a future you can't be sure of and that really does take a toll.\nIf I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, but I've loved the guy for over 20 years and I can't quit now.\nIf you want more input from people who won't immediately say "Ewwwww, he's a criminal! Drop it." check out http://www.prisontalk.com\nIt's a wonderful online community for the friends and loved ones of inmates.
118672
Do they have his undivided attention? Is he going to get out and do what it takes never to go back?....Babydoll, I don't know your jailbird, so I can't make any comment about whether or not he'd be worth waiting for, but I can tell you this, with absolute certainty: Loving an inmate is a VERY HARD ROAD....it's about slogging through endless paperwork, it's trying to keep up with rules that seem to change every week, it's waiting for incredibly expensive collect phone calls that might or might not come and when he doesn't call, praying with all your heart that the phones in the day room are just either too busy or broken and that he's not hurt or on lockdown, it's becoming obsessive about checking your mail and the heartsick feeling that comes over you when the letter you want so badly isn't there,it's about getting writers cramp and spending $20 a week on stamps and stationary, it's about dealing with either keeping it secret or dealing with disapproval of the relationship everywhere you turn and mostly it means living in a future you can't be sure of and that really does take a toll.\nIf I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, but I've loved the guy for over 20 years and I can't quit now...and I'm almost 40, so it's not as if I'm spending my youth dealing with the Dept.of Corrections...think carefully, Sweetie, it is a hard, hard thing to do and no guarantees
235976
U don't do anything, just keep loving the person. He will need your love and support while in prison. A lot times love ones are forgotten about when they go to prison. Never let anyone tell who to love and not to love. Make your own choices.
265784
you called him and didnt leave a message,now that is not good. leave a message. then he really wont have no excuse. if he dont get back to you, forget him. i know its hard when you like someone, but i know you would be saying the same thing to me if i had your prob. leave a message saying how great the other nite was and how you are looking forward to his cal. gud luck. x
319374
wow...I'm in the EXACT same position. I could've asked this question because I'm going through the same thing. I've been absolutely infatuated with this guy and don't know what I will do once he leaves. It's so difficult but the best way to get through it is to find another guy. It sounds much easier than it really is because no one compares to "him."
656052
i don't know what to tell you...this is a touchy situation...i understand the situation you are in because i have experienced similiar things....it's hard when you love someone and they act like that...you know deep down in your heart that sometimes it's best to go on with your life without this person and never look back....but it's so much easier to say then do.. you have to just take one day at a time and look at things and ask yourself...Is this what I want to go through for the rest of my life?  Weigh your options...look at the advantages of your relationship with him compared to the disadvantages of it...this is something nobody can tell you what to do...you have to not only follow your heart on this one but you have to consider what your mind says too...
419130
When I got deployed I was lonely and called my x whom I broke up with cause she treated me bad. When I returned I realized I just needed a security blanket to get me through till I was in a familuar place again. Your his security blanket. He will be great till he gets back in his groove, then you'll be on the back burner again. Go for the other guy.
284250
Sitting around, wondering & doing nothing won't get either of you back together. If you think it's worthwhile to try again, make the first move & see what happens. I'm not saying go all out and tell him outright. That's just me & I'd much prefer the guy to take the lead to let me know where he's headed. Just call and say Hi or leave some kind of messsage that let him know. See what he does next. Be prepared for the worst though as he may have moved on. At least you won't spend your life wondering.
149294
The "he's a liar" chick above me is an idiot. SHE'S not too judgemental, huh? Hehe. Of course everyone in jail is the DEVIL! (I'm being sarcastic). \n\nJail makes you think about things that you would normally take for granted: ie; your freedom, your hobbies, the people you love, and so on. I have a feeling he's never wanted to admit he loves you, because that usually overcomplicates things to an unnecessary extent. But now that he's incarcerated, he's had time to understand what life is like without you, and time to reflect on how important your relationship really is. As a result, he's finally come to the conclusion that he does love you, and he wants you to know it in case you two should ever be permanentley separated for some god-forsaken reason. I've been in his shoes before.\n\nOh yeah, and the guy who said "look to see if his pupils expand" is also on his own planet. Where the hell did THAT come from? Look, if his pupils expand, he's on acid. If they don't, he's not. And that's that.
257734
he's in jail now what can he do for you while he's in there. you need to think whats best for you & ecspecially this child. i know a couple guys that did the same thing to their girl so they had support while they were in jail than once they were out it was like screw you. You deserve better good luck!!
278210
Sounds like he just wanted an excuse to leave. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but its the vibe I get from your description. Try to move on and find someone who will love you and be honest with you. Best of Luck.
296291
oh you're not in an abusive relationship at all are you? he was you wrapped around his lil finger and you don't even realize it. wanna know where this is gonna go if you don't grow a back bone and leave him? you'll be dead in a ditch somewhere and it'll be his fault. if he loved you back he'd trust you enough to let you do your own s.hit without havin to make you call ever 5 f.uckin mins. you need to stop and pay attention to what your gut is tellin you bout this guy. i wouldn't be surprised if it's tellin you to leave and not look back
66384
wow...well i think that u were feeling like u could have either one of the guys, it was ur choice, but now that one is trying to move on u feel like u have to have his attentions back cuz ur losing some of ur control...i don't know, but i think u should really pray about it and try to b honest w/ urself...if u really luv ur bf then don't leave him for someone u like! but really i don't kno everyhthing about this so...i hope it turns out well!