Ok,I had a boyfriend and i really loved him but he broke up with me and one of my best friends who knew i still loved him alot is now going out with him. Now I have a new boyfriend and we've been going out for about 4 months and I feel really bad about still loving my ex and leading this new guy on, i was wondering wat the easiest way to break up with my boyfriend would be without hurting him to much and getting my ex back. I have tried bein friends w/ my ex because i have no other choce bc i see him all the time but it hurts to much seeing him w/ my friend. HELPP
203083
you have to be strate and tell both of them
245566
I have been in the same situation 4 months ago.I went with my ex's friend.Let me tell you that did'nt work out!!!You will always have to see yor ex,and when he moves on to another girl,well that is just unbaerable.Find someone new and exiting.OUT WITH THE OLD AND IN WITH THE NEW!!!
163420
Seems to me the best way to address the situation is to be forthright and talk to him about your concerns.  If your decision is to move on to find someone more accessible to you, then say that.  There is no real way to break up with someone that won't result in hurt feelings.  But to be true to yourself and the most fair to your boyfriend, tell him how you feel and what you want.  Personally, I would recommend doing it face to face, even though it may be uncomfortable.  You may want to continue seeing one another after talking about it, but if it does end, be able to step away knowing that in the long run it may be the best thing for your both.
404977
You need to think about your status right now. How do you feel about your ex boyfriend? Why did you  leave him? And then ask yourself why exactly it is you want to see the guy you met, and why exactly  it is that you  like him. \n\nReflect on this before making a decision. It's never a good idea to start something new while on the "rebound" because you might make wrong decisions and someone could end up getting hurt.\n\nThe one thing I've always had problems with while being on the 'rebound' is hurting the  'new guy'. I would talk about my ex and say i was mad at him all the time, but what it meant was I was still thinking about him. \n\nIf you find yourself constantly talking about your ex; either negatively or positively, i would definitely steer clear of starting something new until I was confident that I was ready.\n\nBest of luck!\n-Mick
92830
How you break up with your boyfriend is entirely upto you.  You must realize that it has to be done.  Now, when you do should be done ASAP.  The longer you stay with him, the more it will hurt.
411921
I never got that whole if I date him no one can. if you guys are over, and you agreed to see other people then get over it, your not a very good friend if you wont let her have a chance at happiness. I don't see anything wrong with it if she was a good friend, but if she just stared at you and asked you why you were mad, that obviously tells you she's kind of a jerk, she obviously doesn't care about you or your feelings, considering you just told her you were still in love with him, if I started dating my friends ex I would have at least shown that I was sorry for causing any pain, but some thins cant be helped, such as holding back feeling for a guy, dang,...  then I'm sorry but if I were you I would have brought her down. keep in mind though that if you guys are supposed to be together you will and if he wanted to see other people then maybe you deserve better, unless it was your Idea in with case, WHAT ARE YOU BITCHING ABOUT. its not fun but remind yourself of 2 things first of all that she deserves the chance at him, and second of all that you may still have a chance of getting back together with him. I got back together with mine.  Good Enough?
543844
The grass sure is always greener on the other side, isn't it?  You left boyfriend number 2 because you were thinking back to boyfriend number 1 and wanting to to back with him.  Now you are with him and you are thinking back to number 2 and wanting to be with him.  Do we see a pattern?  Don't judge him (number 2) by how he treated you when you broke up with him for another guy!  Even the best guy would be slightly peeved and act out a little.  Instead of constantly thinking about what guy you want to be with, think of who you want to be.  Maybe this misery is your heart's way of telling you that neither one is right for you.  If you really don't feel that's the case, then realize that you decided to be with number one for a number of reasons and remind yourself of those reasons.  Don't keep going back and forth, that gets really old for everyone involved really fast.  \n\nBasically, my advice is to get away from both of them.  It will be hard not to think of the good things and miss them both, but you can do it.  Make a list of the bad things about each one!  That should deter you!  \n\nGood luck!
597076
I'm in the same boat honey. I'm trying to get over this guy who only wants to be my friend now.  And yes I want that, but every time I hang out with him I want to hug and kiss him like I used to, which wasn't too long ago. What my friends tell me, and what I'm now telling you, you need to break away from him for awhile. Try not to call him, as hard as that is, and just give your heart and head a break from him. And maybe in a couple weeks or months, or however long it takes you, you'll be able to hang out with him with no feelings other than friendship aimed at him. Also another good way of getting over him, is trying to date other people, even though they won't be him and you'll be comparing them all to him, it'll be a stepping stone, and eventually you'll meet that guy and not even think about your ex. Hope this makes sense and helps. Good luck.
334989
Sounds like a great friend. Don't rush things, it's better to have a great friend than an ex-boyfriend. If he decides to change his way of thinking and date friends, I'm sure you will be the one he comes to. but for now just be happy you can spend time with him.
526711
Tell him that you are very sorry that you hurt him. I don't know what happened to make your relationship go bad...but I know that if I was dating a guy and we broke up for whatever reason I wouldn't want to hurt him. That would make me hesitate to break up with him. Maybe you could point out whatever difference that broke you up is now resolved. Tell him also that you could start out very slow as friends and then get to the dating stage evenutally. If you really love this guy you will be willing to take as long as it takes to win him back. Good luck.
378105
well I'm only 15 years old but i think i can relate to your situation.  When i was in seventh grade i found my first love.  I loved him so much and we ended up being together for 2 years and 6 in a half months.  i broke up with him because he cheated on me once.  Since then i have missed him soo much. I thought that i needed him in my life to be there for me and to make me happy.  \n\nBut, i finally found someone else and realized that the feelings i had for my EX is nothing close to the feelings that i have for my new boyfriend. \n\nmy point is that you may think that you love him and miss him but what your really missing and in love with is all the good times and the great memories that you too shared together.  \n\nYou dont miss Him!!\n\nYou will  find someone else who will feel the same way you do and you'll be happier.
172663
hmm, tough one.\n\nI don't know the situation that you and him had that made you to break up.  But I'm guessing that he might have broke up with you.  Does not really matter much either way cause the end result is the same.... you two are not together.\n\nI think though that you did not have closure over the breakup and that you have feelings for him.\n\nWell, we see that he has moved on and that he has someone else now.  You feeling jealous seems to me that you still want to be with him.\n\nThink hard to yourself, why you two broke up?  Cause if you caught him cheating or the love wasn't really there after sometime....  Then getting back together MIGHT not work.  I'm guessing that you did not have a messy breakup since you guys are still friends.\n\nYou might be trying to hold on to memories of the good old times and think that maybe if you got back together you will have that again.  Trust me, it will never be exactly the same.  And actually its a proven fact that the human mind remembers things with an amplified emotion... that is you remember this great place when you grew up but visiting back later, you notice its not the same.  Cause your expectations are going to be set really really high.  And when it does not happen the way you remember you'll be really devistated.\n\nIf I were you....  I would tell him about your feelings if you trully want to get back together with him.  Cause this is a choice you both have to agree on, not just you.  But if you don't want, then I would say cut all ties from him.\n\nGood luck!
237164
I hear ya hunny. The same thing happened to me nearly 4 years ago. When we broke up I took him off my aim list and didn't talk to him for about a year because it was just too hard. He also started seeing someone about a month after we broke up and he is still with her. It does get easier but it is a very very slow process. You just gotta build up talking in general before you can start talking as best friends again. It was just last year that we could start talking like buds again. If he was your first love you may never get over him but eventually you will have to put that behind you if you want your friendship back.\n\nJust try and give it some time, Best Wishes!
661081
My b-friend and his ex talked the whole first year him and I were together.  She too broke up with him and I knew she really hurt him.  It drove me crazy too.  1)  I had to decide if I trusted my b-friend or not.  If I didn't trust him then I shouldn't b with him.  \n2) If the two of them ended up together then him and I weren't meant to be.  \nWe've been together for a little over a year, the ex has faded quickly.  Just hang in there, she's an ex for a reason.
380712
wow girl you have some problems.. those guys are going out with your friends, if you do make your move on them you'll prove to them exactly how loyal you are. and you just can't do that shyt to a friend, if you really do think of them as your friends. \n\nand if they ever do break up you should talk to your friend first before making your move on her ex. \n\nit's just a unwritten rule that you don't go out with your friends' boyfriends/exes. unless you really do want the drama.
638785
Don't feel guilty.  Get up and have a fantastic time with this new guy.  You aren't mourning, sweetie, you just broke up with someone!  Enjoy yourself and do what makes you happy!  Never feel guilty for doing something that makes you feel good!
284968
Remember when you least expect something, then usually something happens. Many people will tell you that the person  they fell in love with, had know intentions of falling in love with them. \n\nI would ask yourself why you and the ex-boyfriend ended the relationship. If you cannot think of any significant reasons for the break-up, then you may want to reconsider the second chance. If you ended with a nasty fight, then NO WAY!  That relationship is done and staying with him will only result in more turmoil. That is a fact! So do not settle for anything less then your fantasy man. If you do not set your standards high then you wont get what you want. That's a fact also.\n\nAs for the long term friendship, consider your feelings for him and ask yourself if you ever think about him the same way as other guys you have dated. If you have, even for a moment or in a hot dream that you had about him one night, then maybe you to should have a sit down talk with him about the consequences of trying to have a relationship deeper then a friendship. If it is what it is, then the conversation should roll off your tongue with ease. You should be able to talk freely about everything including the hot dream about him. Think about where you are in your life and think about weather a boyfriend has a place that fits into your life at this moment in time. If you are not sure or if you have something that you are dedicated to accomplishing, then I would say hold off on building a deeper relationship with your long term friend because thing will get complicated for you. The reasons are simple, if you deepen your friendship and it does not work out, the break-up will be very emotional and cause you to lose focus on other aspects of your life. This relationship will be much more difficult to end because you will not only break-up with your boyfriend but you will lose a friend also. Make sure you are prepared for what lies ahead before jumping into this one.\n\nAfter all this, Its sounding like maybe you should consider a date with the guy from work. What do you have to lose? Even if the date really sucks, then at the very least, you will have more experience to make wiser decisions going forward. Don't forget about the free diner you get with the date. Another reason is because sometimes a date with someone else can have a way of answering other questions that you may have about other guys. Don't underestimate the power of surprise, after all it is a surprise!\n\nLast important advise that I have for you is very important!  If you are sexually active in any way, now is not the time! You are in a place in your life where you cant make a decision about who to date. If you decide to give one of them a chance and then it does not work out the way that you planed, well you may lose the right guy if you did something that you end up regretting. Guys are very unforgiving sometimes even if they say that they forgive you. Trust me on that one!\n\nThere is no way to avoid some type of sadness as a result of your decision. Someone will be hurt! Do the right thing and do not make things worse for the one that will be hurt. You will remain a star in there eye and you will also leave a door open in the future if things do not work out with the guy you decide to date.\n\nBest of luck to you! You will need it. You must be really something special to have such decisions. Always ask yourself, "what is the right thing to do" and you will do the right thing! Have faith in yourself.