We are married for only 10 months but my husband is no more the same person whom i married...?\nWe are married for 10months but it seems my husband lost interest on me. He has a typical fantasy. He wants to see me as a hore! He doesnt want to have sex regularly. He claims that he loves me. He wants too see me having sex or something like that with another guy! Is it normal? Do you guys know someone like my husband? He only likes to masterbet by seeing some sexy navels only..is something missing? I want to be happy with my hubby..how can i?
206275
I've heard about those kinds of fantasies, but it's really pretty sick.  If he truly loves you why would he want to share you?
132312
Looks like your letting how you feel confuse you to how things really are. Seems like your husband tries hard to let you know he appreciates you, at least from what it sounds like.\n\nIt sounds to me like you are insecure about your weight, and that you veiw yourself as unattractive. You are trying to solve the problem without, when the problem is within. No ammount of encouragement from your husband will help you unless you make up your mind to be encouraged. It sounds to me like he loves you dearly, finds you very attractive, and wants you very much in his life. Don't let your feelings lie to you and tell you otherwise. It seems to me like you are interperating things from him that he doesn't really feel, because that is really how you feel. It's not him that thinks you are fat and ugly, but you are afraid he does. Again, from what you've told me, I'm fairly sure he thinks just the opposite!\n\nNow, if part of the problem is, as you said above, that he isn't more interested in sex, don't nessisarily look to yourself as the cause. He may be busy at work, which leaves him tired and stressed at night. He may have some difficulties in that area, perhaps something clinical. You should both sit down and talk about this, together, and be patient with him, not nagging, whiney, or demanding, but letting him know how you feel, and listening to his side patiently.\n\nIf you are contributing to this part of the problem at all, it is probably from your insecurity, not your looks. If you feel ugly, and act like you feel ugly, you will make yourself seem less attractive. Don't keep thinking of yourself as unnattractive! Remember that your husband loves you, he wouldn't likely have married you if he didn't think you are attractive! Be confident, quit looking at what you think are your flaws, and concentrate on what makes you attractive. Think of yourself as attractive, and you will BE more attractive simply by how you act from it.\n\nI hope and pray everything works out well, and God bless!
283592
Honey, I am 28 yrs. and have been with my fiance for a total of 10 years now. In the beginning, we did have more sex than we do now. How long have you two been together? I totally disagree that it means you are not in love with him. I have more love for my man every year that passes by, even though now we aren't intimate like before. Sure, we love to be with eachother, it's just not the most important thing on our list to do. We have grown to be totally comfortable with that and it doesn't mean there is something wrong...that's my opinion anyways. You should try new and exciting things, even if it is just a laugh with eachother.
186425
Its possible that both of you are trying to fill the roles of wife and husband. What I mean is not seeing each other as people,not dealing with things as they are but trying to do things as you think they should be dealt with. Maybe he thinks he should be in charge, telling you what to do what to spend. I think its time you 2 have a good long talk and find out how each of you really feels clear the air. Oh one other thing to think about your at that stage in a relationship where your past the first glow of love and seeing him as he really is, time to work at the relationship build it up or see if it can be worked out.
514250
Here is my advice\nFirst sex is at least 75% mental, Your husband is just trying to spice up your sex life. During sex he probably does like the thought of wife swapping  but before and after he would probably not want to try it. The easy way to tell this is ask the question. Does he talk about it when you are not having sex or just when the hormones are flowing during sex?  What my wife and I agreed to was this " What we say during sex is not to be taken seriously and only meant to be fantasy"  That is a perminate agreement.  So we are both fee to bring up all sorts of things during sex without having to worry  about how the other will feel about it. It make the fantasy's more real but safe.
128072
I'm with you on this one - my husband is the same way. I had to take five years of CONSTANTly telling him how hot he is - make sure he KNOWS how attracted to him you are...jump him...frequently..let him know you only have eyes for him. I mean sadly repetitiveness is the key...it's just like, he can hear it 10000 times, but until HE believe it, it's not going to work.
262972
It would depend on which way the ball's rolling.  Is it that YOU don't feel the spark for your husband, or He is no longer attracted to you?  If you don't want to, it could be from being tired from your duties as a mother, in which case you need some rest and some time off, maybe a night or two away with your husband.  It could be from post-partum depression, in which case you probably need to see a Dr. (don't ask Tom Cruise).  If HE is not attracted, walk around the house naked.\n\n(added later) I like opyankees idea, about the panties at the dinner table.  Awesome.
103553
Ummmm, this may be a bit tough, but why might he want to go through that?  I had an old wanna-be track me down and call me in the middle of the night a month after I was married.  Did I want to open old memories with her?  Nope.  Put me in a bad spot over something I was not interested in the first time around.  Forget it and move on.  Your fantasy is probably not his.
509731
I can totally relate to where you're coming from. I am also happily married to an amazing guy who sounds a lot like your husband - attractive, sweet, dependable. Yet I sometimes think about other guys I've been with (even brief relationships from back in high school!) or develop big crushes on guys I meet (see my latest post for details). \n\nI can also give you advice as someone who has followed her feelings and tried to "have it all" and the cake, too. A few years ago, I had a very brief affair - which I then confessed to my husband (also detailed in an earlier post). I was very fortunate that he forgave me, and now almost 4 years later we have a child together. The thing is, the affair totally wasn't worth it. Not only did I hurt my husband, who has been my best friend for 10 years, but I went through an emotional hell (and a deep depression).\n\nI can see a lot of similiarities in our situations because I am religious also. That can cause even more angst when these sexual feelings arise, because you feel so much guilt from them. What I've come to recognize is that the feelings are normal, but you just need to be careful not to act on them. It's OK to think about other people from time to time, to fantasize as long as you don't start spending all your energy wanting it to come true. \n\nIn your case, since you've been with this other guy in the past, it would be really easy to fall into it again. My advice is to stay away from him. Enjoy the memories of the exciting sexual moments you've shared in the past, and remember that you're an attractive person to other guys. Use it to boost your confidence and feel good about yourself, just don't act on it. Hope that helps! :-)
251592
WElcome to marriage.\n\n"The longer your married, the longer you go without sex."\n\nNothing it's fine, so long as you still feel attracted to your man. If not, then you need to do some soul searching are you still in love or just to lazy to move on
132833
You need to stop this fantasy ASAP. All you are doing is creating drama - You are either bored in your marriage, or are having problems that you'd rather avoid. Maybe you're thinking he can get you out of a situation, or "rescue" you in a sense.....Maybe you're not happy with where you are at in life at 34, and are trying to relive certain aspects of your younger life, before you made the choice to become a married woman...? Whatever the case, please recognize this for what it is......An unrealistic diversion from your REAL life. You can't possibly fix whatever is going on with your marriage until you devote to it 100% - And the preoccupation with this young (kid) will interfere with that. My advice would be to come back to reality, before you take this attraction to some other level, and come back asking what you should do then........
419724
OK I can see trouble in my answer but here goes. Your being a beautiful sexy woman can be part of the problem...KEEP READING answerers before you pound me.  You husband was taught he was not worth anything...therefore he cannot understand how you could possibly love him and want him.  The reassurance he needs must be hard on you especially, checked your profile, as you have a small child.  YES to counseling. But also a BIG yes to making sure that you make him feel special with the baby in the house.
2519
Hun, i know what you are going through, I have been there done that and get this, i am not even married....my fiancee and i have been living together for almost a year now, engaged for almost 2 and yes, the sex drive has gone from 100 to 0...for him, not for me, it's still strong as ever. when i asked he always told me he was tired or just wanted to cuddle or something like that, so yeah, i know how you feel. i am sad to report however that he was hiding something from me....his addiction to porn....he'd rather look at pics and vids than be with me...pretty low huh? well anyways, we are still together and trying to work through the issues and yes things are looking up....so just hang in there and hopefully things will start to get better!
522660
no idea WHAT you are talking about\nyou've been married 10 years and he wants other women now?\numm, he's not too committed  to you then
351110
Congratulations on the dramatic weight loss!!!!!\n\nMy guess is that your husband is probably feeling a little left out.  What guy wouldn't, if you devoted that much energy into your weightloss.  Especially if he's used to you paying more attention to him.  Or maybe he is like most guys that have been married for a long time.....\n\nWhen we are together for a long time, we sometimes forget to keep flirting, dating, and making the extra effort to treat our partners like out #1 choice.\n\nWe sometimes tend to get a little self-absorbed with our own problems, obligations, and responsiblities.  We forget to actively try to fulfill out partner.  We assume that out mere presence fulfills them, that since we are there, then they should feel loved.\n\nWhen a new hobby, child, project, or habit moves in (in this case, your weightloss) then sometimes they feel slighted.  We forget that our perception of something is not exactly out partner's intent.  We react before giving them a chance to clarify their intent.  We assume that they meant something rather than just asking them.\n\nAnd sometimes we forget to pursue them like we did when the relationship was new.  When a relationship is new, our bodies go into overproduction of certain feel-good chemicals (adrenaline, dopamine, norepenepherine, endorphins, etc) and we feel that rush........which usually lasts for about 36 months, unless we take measures to stimulate those chemicals to be produced.\n\nAfter 36 months, that chemical overproduction usually subsides making way for new chemicals that promote long-term acceptance and comfort.  Kind of the way our metabolisms slow down by age 30, and we need to make extra effort to stay the same size and shape.\n\nThis is when it starts to take longer for our bodies to respond to each other, and we may even thing the fire is gone, or that we are no longer in love.  Big Mistake!\n\nSometimes, when one partner makes extra effort to take care of themselves or look good, then the other partner feels threatened, insecure, like they should be improving themselves, too (but they lack the motivation to).  It's like pulling the rug out from under them, once they got comfortable with the way things were.\n\nYour best bet is to not go tell him how you feel, but to change your behavior. guys are not socialized to talk about feelings, and often don't know how they feel.   Guys are more actions-oriented.   If you change your behavior, then he will automatically respond differently to you.\n\nRemember his ego needs.  We all want the same things from others, but guys especially are sensitive to things they would never ask us for or tell us about.\n\nRemember to appreciate him, to respect him, to challenge him, to admire him, to need him, to pursue him, flirt with him, treat him like you think he's sexy and deirable, that he is skilled and powerful, and sought after.  Treat him like your #1 choice, and that you are lucky that he loves you.  Do this daily.  Give this freely, without exception or conditions.  Even when he's a crabass, take the high road, and love him anyway.\n\nTry to walk in his shoes.  Tell him how you think he must be feeling once in a while.  Even if you're wrong, just guess how you would feel if you were him.  It shows him you are aboe to see beyone your own perspective.  Seek to understand before expecting to be understood.  This is how you teach him how to treat you.  He learns how to do the same with you.  You inspire him to act differently by modifying your own behavior.\n\nHe might possibly be feeling intimidated by your drive and your success, and maybe a little inadequate or emasculated.  Let him know that he's the man.\n\nIt would be self-defeating to let your self-worth be determined by his approval.  Don't change yourself too much to try to please him.  Make him come to you with what he needs, and be willing to give it to him.  Chances are he just wants to be the man, to be powerful, attractive
126439
Decreased sex is completely normal in a marriage. It's your responsibility to spice things up in order to keep the passion alive. Try in on the floor, in a public place, use toys, do something taboo, anything new. Continue to give each other compliments especially about each others bodies and what you like about it. Be naughty! It's not just the mans job to keep it going, take the initiative and he will appreciate it I promise!
133329
For a minute there I thought I wrote this.Or maybe we've married the same man.lol.Why do they expect us to get all....excuse the saying...hot and horny from boob groping.I really cant answer u but please let me know what people suggest.The only suggestion i have is grab him roughly (u know where) when he least expects it.Let's see his arousement then!!!! lol.