I came to Colorado to help out my family, In the process I lost someone I love very much and they want me back, I am having troube just walking away, But I also have a problem expressing this to my love, Asking him to wait, But then is it me that just can't wait,Does it have to be all or nothing, Win or lose? I don't know the best course of action, But I can't stand by and do nothing.
207407
When you truly love someone, you understand that sometimes families need each other. My dad only sees my stepmother, Kathy, a couple of times a month for the last 6 months. Her mother is aging and her father is dying of cancer. He is 87 and their is nothing really that any doctor can do for him short of kemo therapy. Kinda stupid to put an 87 year old man with advanced prostate cancer through all that, not to mention the daily 2 hour drive she must drag her mother along with to get to the hospital.  My father says, "I don't know why his doctor even recommended the kemo knowing his condition and what it would mean to Kathy, but I'm not going to take away the only thing she's got to hold on to."\n\nI think that is true love and understanding. How can you come between a family during times of crisis? If he is not willing to compromise I would just say to myself, "I gave it my best but I got to do what I got to do."
33989
Okay first breath...It hurts but you will grow so much more then you will ever know once you move pass this...Where were you on Saturday...My heart was so broke...I was told today to hang my head high and walk with pride and no matter what always know that you are better then that and you will hurt for a while and then you will see day light...Its not a matter of loveing to much or not enough its a matter of selfishness on the other persons part...Or just know that life moves and breaking up is part of that move and it hurst yes but time will heal all...Good luck
239214
I would. I will do anything for my daughters and my son and I know there is no chance of us getting together. Now, I know that's not what you meant, but the type of love you have for this person needs to change to the same type of love that you would have for your family members. I say that because I don't want you to miss out on having someone love you the way you love them and it sounds like you love this person very much to put their happiness over your own. But don't you think there is someone out there that deserves that type of love? And more importantly, don't you think you deserve to be loved like that? Continue being there for this person, but keep your eyes open for that other person out there that's waiting not only for your love but to love YOU in return....
283810
Damn, I wish I had his problems, I am a man and I am going through the exact same thing. It's hard when you want to be with a person and you feel they do not want you. I have tried going on trips just the two of you. If nothing else works ask flat out what is up? This was a good month for me, I got it more than once a week, I still had to beg a few times but at least I got it. I know for a fact it is going to be different this month, I will be begging more but I love her.
556819
You can answer this your self. Just sit and think about....does the thought of walking away hurt more than the Happiness and bliss you will feel if yall were together...never give up on love!!!!!
314171
Hi there again. Was thinking about writing direct but didn't want to bother you again.\nI had a break up last June after a 7+ yera relationship/engagement and it took a little (underexagerating) time to get through.\nThe fact that he didn't seem to be bothered by it at all made me even more upset. I couldn't figure out how he could just walk out and that be it. No contact, no explanation of why, no nothing. People need some kind of closure to move along the healing process and I didn't have that.\nWhen I finally started thinking a little more clearly (took about a couple months), I started to realize the reason he was able to walk away as cut and dry as he did. It was because he had already been done long before he'd walked out.\nI started being able to put myself on the outside, looking in instead of the inside, looking in (hope you understand that). Then I started allowing myself to realize all the things that weren't so great and hadn't been so great for a while.\nI went from a deep sadness and loss to realizing I was worth more than how I was treated by him, either directly or indirectly.\nToday I am glad he left and didn't ever try to contact me AND I'm also glad he left.\nMy belief (and I've seen it proved many times over) is the karma people like that earn will pay them back tenfold for what they uncaringly do to people.\nOnly you will be able to put this to rest within yourself and only in the time that is right for you.\nI wish you all the best in the world. And try to remember you are worth more than the sum of one cheating man.\nAlso, sorry this is so long.
202105
I'm not like miss conservative, but I don't see the harm in waiting a little bit longer to see where you two are in another month.. but it really is a personal decision.. and since you are asking here, I am guessing yuo aren't ready and he is?  Be careful, only do what YOU are willing to do without pressure from anyone.  That's very important for your self-respect.  ok?  Best of luck to you!
317522
Say your good byes now and rekindle when your closer again. No matter which way you go there will be heart breaks and aches. Be strong for her and you.
580614
I'm sorry things didn't end well for you, but you mustn't make assumptions on what happened. Not all of us are heartless like that. I know I'm not. I was in love, actually am in love, with this guy who had left for the Army. Well I waited for him and never did I stray my eyes elsewhere. When he came back, I knew he might get deployed for a year or more at any time, but never one did I ever think of just forgetting about him. I would've waited for him as long as necessary. Unfortunately, it didn't work out for us, but it wasn't because of that, there were other issues. My point is, don't despair, just because one relationship went sour. I'm sure someday you'll find that girl who will wait for you as long as necessary because she truly loves you. :)
231293
Sad thing is some times the word family does not mean much to those who are coming into one.. I too am going thru a similar situation with my son.. I do not know what the best route is for healing this bridge. Maybe small steps ? such has a phone call just to say HI ? or a letter saying the same ? short and simple. No asking for nor expecting a response. Leaving the ball totally in the court of the son. Letting him know your Mom still cares, or you sisters, and want the contact, with out saying such, but leaving him able to choose the time and place when ready . Remember, 3 years is a long time, but it may take that much more time to come together as a family.. It would be easy to push, but you have to decide how far to go...
509472
I can only think of 2 things. \n\n1. you are trying to hard. I don't think it works like that. I've often in the past wished loved ones to come to me. Eventually, they do but it always happens when it's completely off my mind and I'm relaxed.\n\n2. Depending on how he left this world he may have not made it over yet. It could take time.\n\nQuick true story:\nMy cousin was a limo driver and picked up a psychic. The psychic out of no where said your father is sitting right next to you smiling and wants me to say hi.  Then went on to say his aunt still hasn't crossed over.\n\nThe father died 2 years ago. The aunts died 11.\n\nSo, sometimes they fight it. \n\nDon't think of it as he doesn't love you.\nThink of it as he loves you TOO MUCH to let go.\nIt will happen. relax
175453
I married a guy from another state while I was going to college there. We decided it tio be best to move back to my state due to the opportunities and family activities. However it is a small issue because he gets resentful sometimes when he isn't there for his mom and it is an extra expense to travel back and forth occasionally. If it can be avoided, marry a local or choose a neutral spot together...but we can't help who we fall for.
639204
Love is worth your life!! i would ask for a phone # or e-mail them but if they havent moved away yet tell him/her how you feel and if they are grossed out nor mad then you wont have to see them but if they love you back.....they'll try their hardest to make it work.
103312
damn this sucks pretty bad . well as you said you never made her any  promises so yes you should move along .since this is going to be painful for her regardless just be really honest with her and tell her why your leaving ...exactly why ...women have a tendency to try and pick things apart too much ...if shes in some sort of denial shes gonna have a hard time understanding why your leaving her  , as long as your really clear she wont have to judge herself too  hard and wonder what she did wrong . and by all means dont let hurting her stand in the way of you being happy ...but no i dont think you necessarily think you shouldve left earlier sometimes we like to hang on too long thinking that magically things are going to falll in place but it rarely happens that way damn im blabbing hahah sorry
425953
I feel your pain.  All you have to do is, go out with an open mind, and not expect anything to really happen, and that is (well so I am told) it will happen.   When you least expect it.  Don't try so hard.  Let it find you.  And it will.  I know, it is harder than just reading these words.  But, I am in the same boat.  Patience is a virtue.  Good Luck, and It will happen.
182672
My husband and I were married for just short of 4 years and together for a total of 12 when he passed away. Having been widowed for just over a year, I feel that I am at least qualified to offer my opinion on this subject. \n\nI have just started to think about dating here in the last month. It is difficult to say the least and you do have a tendency feel as though you are cheating on your spouse. \n\nThat being said, you have to think about what your husband would have wanted for you...would he really want you to spend the rest of your life pining away for him? And should the shoe have been other foot, what would you have wanted for him? These questions we must ask ourselves. \n\nAll things come in good time and grief and grieving are no exception it can take years to heal or it can take months, alot depends upon the type of death, be it unexpected or terminal illness. \n\nComing from the perspective of terminal illness, I can honestly say that a lot of my grieving was done prior to the actual event taking place. That, however does not mean that I don't miss my husband, I do, daily. But, we had these conversations for over 2 years and I knew what he wanted me to do. He felt I was too young and vibrant to spend the rest of my life alone and made me promise that when I felt ready, I would seek out another relationship. And to me, that spoke volumes regarding the depth of his love for me.
338400
My last conversation with my cousin was about baseball also.  It was at his little sister's game.  He was the coach.  They won.  The team threw Gatorade on him.  He tried to hug me and I pushed him away.  We were just kidding around but if I knew that was the last time I'd see him,  I would've hugged him, covered in Gatorade or not.  I've thought about what I'd say for the past 13 years.  I've gone over it a million times.  But it doesn't really matter.  I know he loved me and I know he knew how much he meant to me.  It's hard to even write this.  I believe in my heart when people die, they know who loves them.  Nothing more has to be said.  I do talk to my cousin, I tell him every day.  Don't stop talking to him because he's gone.  Your dad loves you and he knows you love him.  I'm sorry for your lost.  May you find peace.