Who defines the qualities of a good wife or husband? Are there certain criteria that makes one good or not good?  What if you can't fulfill all the qualifications- do you have to give up your sense of self in order to meet your spouse's "ideal"?
203224
To be a good wife, you must be loving and caring, and loyal to your husband. Did you ever  say to him, "I would do anything for you", and really mean it?  Well, if you did, and you still provide such care, then you are a good wife.  But, it does not work one way.  Eventually, even a "good" wife gets tired of neglect and abuse. So, in order to be a really good wife, the man must also be a good husband.
196421
no.. what makes one good at sex is a creative open mind.. a willingness to try new things and experiment..  It has nothing to do with being married or not..
277451
Marriage vows should mean something.  Two wrongs don't make a right.  Stick with the person you vowed to love and make it work.  If you both leave your spouses, whose to say it will work, you might regret leaving your wife/husband and it could be too late.  Don't give up so easily, work at your marriage, it'll be worth it.
171282
Look in the mirror. You are looking at a married woman. Why did you get married in the first place if you weren't prepared for a commitment.  "I do" doesn't mean " until something better comes along". Forget this guy unless you are able to remain "just friends". I feel sorry for your husband!
358098
Well the perfect wife for me is someone that I consider my best friends. One that can take a joke without taking it seriously. One that I can vent with in bad times and one that will be the number one person I will call when I have excited about something. One that shares great communication good/bad with me. One that loved to be passionate and affectionate with me. This one sounds lame, but I love it... One that ask's me to go to another room while she gets dressed to go out with me (asthough I am picking her up, but I am just in the next room) because her being all the above things just makes her beautiful to me enough but seeing her open like the bedroom door knowing she got all ready for me is the ultimate. She has to get along and be well loved by everyone including my friends and not bad mouth beautiful women. Men hate that!
119692
Why not??Who else has grown to know your likes and dislikes, pros and cons, ideals and hobbies, interests and virtually everything about you?? Is that not what you need in a relationship?To me, good friends are perfect matches in relationships.Generally speaking..
96194
Actually good and bad boil down to perception of the person.  For some what is good to them is bad for another and the other way around.  It just depends on the person and their perception of it.
201316
Not bad but selfish.  You cannot make yourself feel passion but you can make yourself feel intimacy and committment.  If you are unwilling to do that then let your husband go for his sake, not yours.
270850
I think people are misunderstanding what you are trying to say. Perhaps a language barrier yes?\nYour husband is smart, but you are smart also.\nI know you are trying to say you are being a faithful\nwife and you want to be a perfect wife for him. Also you may be trying to say he should not be suspicious because you are trying to be the best wife.\nThose are real feelings you are experiencing.\nA thing called a womens intuition. Sometimes if he is suspicous of you its because he is a suspicous person himself. Your are married only one year to get to know him.\nGoing out 3 years does not give much of a chance to really know a persons habits. Age is another factor too. Let him go his path for now. He is not in the building stage of your relationship. He is not doing things to make you both grow as a couple. He as to value marriage. He has to change his ways now. You have to encourage him to not let it continue to go his separate way. It is not the same path. If you suspect him more you have to say to him not to bring home social disease. Get it out now and begin healing and loving. Ask him why did he marry if he still needs to stray (wonder like a cat).\nYou value marriage and you want it to work out, patience is most likely one answer. Good Luck.
441538
Talk about her personal strengths, for instance; she is a very trust worthy, dependable, hard working and honest person. Give some examples that will justify her good qualities. State how long you've known her and describe qualities that a landlord would be interested in, ex; is she a quiet person, friendly, does she have kids are they well behaved is she married are they a good couple does she have pets are they well behaved, things like that.
626284
This is a very long answer! I am sorry, but I had to write this! Bear with me....\n\nAs a woman who is 50 and who went through her own mid life crisis (and divorce and self reinvention) over the last ten years and  who felt very much as you do now, I would like to share some things that helped me to get out of negative self talk. I have learned how to view mid life as a wonderful time of growth, which got me out of a bad mind set.\n\nHon, the first mistake you are making is defining yourself and your personal value on whether or not you have a boyfriend or husband. You are not unique in this mindset. I did the same thing, but no one defines us or determines our self worth and value, EXCEPT ourselves. Thinking that a man will define your self worth and your placement in this world will only serve to make you depressed and feel as alone as you do now. The only person who defines you and your self worth is YOU. No one else can do this. Instead of thinking that someone else is responsible for definining you, LOOK WITHIN. You are a unique individual, with your own skills, gifts, ideas, mind and thoughts that make you who you are. If you only seek out men to define and complete you, you will feel alone, as you do now. You feel alone and empty because you are not looking within yourself to find the things that you possess to bring you self nurturance and self love - to define the woman you are now.\n\nMost women define and value themselves as complete when they have a boyfriend or husband because we are socialized by our families and the media to believe this is the case. We are taught that to be of value we must achieve the ultimate goal in life: to get married, have a family, own a house, and so forth. Those of us who decide to have a career, in addition to marriage, are taught that having "it all" makes us more worthy. If we choose not to marry or have kids, then something is wrong with us (although this is changing, thank god). If we wind up getting divorced, we are viewed as being failures and that because our marriages failed, we are not capable of having a relationship or worse, something is wrong with us. Married friends may shun us (or not), family members query us about whether or not we are dating, or if we will ever remarry, and as a consequence, we feel anxious and apart from society. We feel as if we are outsiders looking in. When we believe this, we feel lost.\n\nDivorce is hard, especially when you are in your mid forties and going through perimenopause. That adds to the confusion and the negative feelings we have. With hormones rising and falling, we feel different and are different in many ways. It is a time, generally - and without divorce - of questioning and assessing our lives, what we have accomplished or didn't, what we want to do in the future, and what changes we want to make. We fear aging and growing older, and dying too young or too soon. We fear the changes our bodies are going through. Our looks change somewhat and we feel old, ugly, less attractive. Even though this is a scary  and a weird time in our lives, we needn't feel this way. Experience and wisdom comes with age, and even if our bodies are not as firm as they once were, and even if we gain a bit of weight or have tons of gray hair, we are still beautiful. I feel better and more beautiful NOW than I did in my twenties and thirties! I may not be as thin as I was, but that is okay - I accept and honor the woman I am now. I receive the beauty I possess now with welcome arms and more confidence than I ever had before. Why? I accept the woman I am today. It gets better, really and you CAN GET THROUGH IT.  \n\nSome suggestions: One of the best things I ever did when I got divorced was to go to therapy with a psychologist who specialized in divorce. She also held a weekly group session (for an hour an a half) with her other female clients (6 or 7 of us) and we worked together on finding our paths AND releasing our hurt, and anger towa
213851
I look most for creativity and open-mindedness. A unique person who isn't afraid to do things a little differently than the common stereotypical. Secondly I look for health in both mind and body. If I am going to be with someone, I want her to have stable and controllable emotional health and concordantly a flourishing body. This is the pure truth and if the standards are too high for some, then so be it.
534505
Sorry.  I think the obsessive pursuit and concern over narcissistic "self-esteem" is actually a primary root of most of our culture's maladies.\n\nAt its worst extremes, the preoccupation with "high self-esteem" simply goes delusional - just witness some of the responses to blunt criticism in the American Idol tryouts for one obvious example.\n\nNo, sometimes you really don't have talent.  And sometimes you really aren't qualified for that job.  And sometimes you really are a louse and treated your spouse poorly because you're too selfish and self-absorbed.  And yes, adultery is wrong and it doesn't make it okay just because you're trying to "find yourself."\n\nSee what I mean?\n\nIf instead we took more time to THINK OF OTHERS and the impact our actions have on the world around us, we'd all be better off.  It's time to stop pasting our noses up to our mirrors and remember there are others around us.\n\nBest to you.
182477
A Wife of Noble Character is definitely something I aspire to be.  I fall short all the time, but all I can do is keep on trying.    \n\nI especially love where she is described as being able to "laugh at the days to come." (Prov 31:25)  It helps me a lot when I'm getting stressed out or worrying too much.
238383
I think u need not ask.If u were married,would you dare intertain such a behaivour from your spouse?I gues not.Imagine, you being with a man who has an infidelity record, what makes you think that he will change?Singleness is the best time for self development.Recent moral systems makes us think that being alone means being lonely.Your pattern of thinking has been influenced by such,but you can still redeem yourself from such abuse.Inevitably, the right man which ethics and true love, will come along.Who knows, he might be someone you have neglected due to ou thinking that he didn't fit right into your scale?You will be suprised who it might be.Leave the rottern bugger alone.
146674
I think that love and kindness plays the most important role. \n\nThink of the little things- kind words and thoughtfulness on a daily basis and taking time to talk will hold your marriage together. Grand gestures, great sex and money are nice, but aren't the glue that holds it together. \n\nHope this helps.
281109
I am not sure what does "too good" mean, but I think I can understand your friend. She feels more comfortable with "bad ones" because she might need not to be as careful as with good ones. If you have to make an unavoidable decision that may hurt someone, that you feel much better if you already consider that person as "bad". "Too good" people may look more sensitive and easier to hurt. My mother-in-law seems to belong to those "too good" and I do have problems sometimes to explain her that I don't need her interventions, help and so on, in a way that won't hurt her. But if she were some *itch, I would have no problem with that.\n\nI think what scares us and makes us uncomfortable with good people is something bad in us that become transparent in their presence. But it does not mean that we (your friend) are bad. Everyone has the bad side. but, what makes us good or bad persons is how do we control this bad side. i do believe your friend is sweet, but I understand her as well.