My husbands buddy is causing problems in our marriage. I have spoken my peace,yet my hubby feels that I am just jealous and refuses to give up his weekends hanging out with his buddy. I work every weekend so when I get home I want to be with my hubby...It was not always like this. This has been going on for about a year. I am at my wits end! His buddy is a smart*** that thinks he knows everything about everything!!! I have begged and pleaded to no avail. Am I wrong to expect my hubby to respect my wishes that his buddy only come down every so often? My marriage is in jeapordy...
199814
No, your not wrong.  A guy deserves to have his friends, and your not going to like a lot of them, but he needs to also respect you and how you feel.  It seems to me that since you work on weekends there is obviously time for him and his friend to hang out, and that it shouldn't be a big deal to send the friend home once you get off work so that the two of you can spend time together.  A marriage is about compromise and committing to what is important.  In this case what is important should be you and the compromise should be a little less time spend hanging out with his friend.  Doesn't seem like a lot to ask keep the marriage going.
240116
I agree, the hell with the wife. It is obvious you dont care about loosing her but what if you keep your best friend and he sleeps with someone you really dont want to loose. Not worth the risk to me. Get rid of both of them!!
581459
I agree with incan princess ...\n\nThe problem is really YOU !!\n\nFirstly ..you go snopping around his things . you have no respect for other peoples privacy... dont you have a job or something to do instead??\n\nWere you thinking that you where helping a realtionship by doing so ??\n\nNext ,you put out this question up on Yahoo answers and lable it for ladies only.\n\nI am married too .. do you know that i too know many things. My wife is beside me write now ..\n\nwe both agree that you need to change your attitude towards things and your relationship. Show some respect towards your husband. Its probably your behavior that lead him to do what he is doing ... in the first place !!\n\nAnd yes .. for gods sakes .. dont bring a baby into this world  - then go for a divorce. Poor child ...\n\nDisappointed with you !
497451
just explain to him that u had a little too much to drink, and in ur point of view they were being quite rude to your husband!! apologize for overreacting and try to let it go.  \n\nat this point it doesn't really matter who's "fault" it is, because u both acted as u did at that time, under the influence of alcohol and a party atmosphere.  sometimes people get upset when someone kinda "ruins" the mood... =T.  try to loosen up a bit.. u could've complained to ur hubby (oh i can't believe those people, so rude!!) u didnt' have to cause a scene... u know? but u were defending him, so it's not like u intended to do anything wrong.  it's over and done, try to let it go, and promise to try to stay "Positive" and deal with things together instead of giving strangers a piece of ur mind for no important reason. good l uck
12129
i think maybe you need to find a compromise between the two. You can ask him to not have his friend sleep over, but dont ask him not to visit. having close friends is really important, and if he and his bud are as close as they sound it will cause some tension between you and your soon-to-be hubby. Let him know that you feel left out when his friend is over, and that you feel like its causing you to have resentment for that friend, which is obviously something you dont want. hopefully he will take a minute to think about how things are affecting you, and alter his behavipr accordingly.
411747
Dear Omar,\nAm sorry to hear about your wife. It must really be tuff to hold out like you have. In my opinion, I dont think she would damn you for taking on a female friend. I realize it gets lonely especially for a guy. I empathize with you.  You know, I understand you want to stay faithful and probably have thought, what if it was me. Well, my friend, you ARE being faithful, as far as I know. Only God is the judge of what you do. And God knows your heart, whether you are being malicious or not. I don't believe he wants you to be with out companionship. Now sex is another story. You will be taking on alot of guilt because you are not free of your wife in your mind or heart.And suppose you get so involved you fall in love with this person. Then what? Do you chuck your wife and go with her? It is such a fine line as to what to do in this case. I mean what do the docs say about your wife? Is she brain dead? Is she losing body mass by laying? Is she deteriating, What? I say, just be careful not to add additional problems to your life that you may not be able to handle. Choose someone that clearly understands the situation and keep it plotonic(yeah right, huh?). Its nice to know you have someone to talk to and go to dinner and have conversation with, right? To go for walks and the movies. I know what you are talking about. So really you have to make that call and when you do make sure you have a clear conscience.
288808
You sound like a great wife, he should be glad to have someone who supports him so much.  I'm kind of in the same situation.  I kept my day job and work full time while I attend night classes to earn my degree and then I can move on.  It's really really hard having a full time job and being a full time student...but I'm glad to see that you and your husband know that the work and the payoff is better than him being in a miserable job.  I really doubt your husband is too old to start learning new things.  However, as far as marriage, keep in mind that if he takes night classes or even if he quits his job and gets a new one while he goes to school...he won't be around as much and he'll have more responsibilities.  Me and my wife sometimes don't see each other for awhile and argue sometimes, but it's not that bad.  Good luck!
53800
Joe, I can relate to your situation. My husband is in work release and right now he is accusing me of the exact same thing. Just when I think that we have gotten past this something else pops up and we start this mess all over again. Are you positive that there is an affair going on? Speak to your wife in a loving tone and really let her know that this is bothering you. Let her also know that you won't stand for any lies. If she is unfaithful then the pressure of you being nice is going to make her feel guilty that she will admit to her wrong. Just so you know, I have never ever cheated on my husband and I wouldn't ever because of the love and the respect that I have for him and myself. Marriage is a give and take and both husbands and wives need to do this more and more. Good luck and may God bless you through this journey.
657384
He is basically an insensitive jerk. You and your hubby are one unit, if one gets hurt so does the other. He publicly displayed an argument the two of them had online, you are right to not trust him because if he gets in an argument with you he'll probably be putting stuff online about you as well.  Venting his  frustrations with your husband's  is acceptable but he chose such a public forum that you obviously had access to, which makes that unacceptable. Since he and your hubby are determined to be friends again, the best you can do is to simply remain polite to him but don't confide in him ever. Good luck.
73118
He has some serious problems with control. I would think if this is the way I wanted to live. He has no right to tell you that you can't do something. He is your husband not anything else. K
506785
I would be more concerned about why your Husband told you in the first place, could it not be that your Husband is lying, I am not saying he is, but you have to look at it from both sides, and try to rationalize everything, Men do sometimes lie about this type of thing, to make their partners jealous
62385
I went through a similar situation....what I discoved was that it wasn't anything I had done, but the people he was housed with were either jealous we had a strong relationship and they didn't or just "got off" on seeing other people "hard time". They have a lot of time to think in there, and their own insecurities get the best of them sometimes. Hang in there! My husband has been out for 1 1/2 years, and everything has worked out. I wish the same for you.
268229
Forget subtlety.  Tell him outright you don't like it and if it happens again you will tell your husband.  He doesn't sound like much of a friend to your husband, and hubby would probably be better off without this jerk for a friend.\n\nProtect your marriage, protect eachother.
337884
From your description of your man, i find that he is an idle man who calls you ten times in a day. He can be OK for your friend but not worthy of being your husband. He will not be able to support you as his wife. Forget about him , my dear child, find some other desrving person.for marriage. Your well wisher.
478230
Yes...I was married for 18 years and the last few years felt like this all the time OR didn't want to be at home when he was there.  As hard as it was I realized it was because we had outgrown each other and weren't making each other happy.  We have since separated and are living our own lives.  We are MUCH better off as friends then we were as a married couple.
182179
if you want your marriage to work you are going tohave to draw a line under it. i know its easier said than done. try and think of the good things in the relationship whenever you feel yourself distrusting him, thats what i did.
42156
of course first of all you must talk to your husband. tell him all that you know about his computer "games" and tell him how he makes you feel and how he has been treating you. give him time to talk. be open honest and blunt. if you are blunt to him he will be to you. don't spare andy feelings this is your life if things don't work out with your husband then take it from there but don't betray him even if things turn for the worse (divorce) my advise is spend less time with the friend ( i know it will be hard) and more time with the family. Try to salvage your mariage before you indulge your short term desires. Be patient and have will power. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS