Is having a long engagement a good or bad thing?
199643
It honestly depends on the two people involved.  My husband and I met on Matchmaker.com.  We literally met, dated, became engaged, married, purchased a house and had our first child ALL within one year!!!!! Now I know this isn't typical  BUT we just knew.  We are soooooooo happy and have been together 5 years :)   And oh..........we only knew each other 6 weeks before becoming engaged! :)
501474
Line of communication is a huge thing. I have been married for 11 yrs and above all else this a huge factor. No good marriage is easy. You have to love that person and like them because passion comes and goes and you need that friendship and unconditional love to fall back on
226470
yep, Married him,,,,we were friends for like 4 yrs we ve been married for 1 yr 4 months and to be honest it is the best thing I could have ever done, it is working just so great we don´t need to pretend anything we know each other like the palms of our hands we still can talk like good friends listen to each other ,,The secret of it i guess is to keep on being best friends many ppl forget their spouse should also be a friend to them and limit their relationships ...he knows my past I know his and we don´t use it against each other instead we use it to understand the fears that may still be a part of us..=)....Nope we didn´t really feel atracted at first I was *engaged* , he had a gf...time went by I had another bf...broke up ...and then I began noticing I had fallen for him I asked him about his feelings and I was lucky he felt the same way for me..
334681
I was engaged to my husband for four years.  We have now been happily married for almost 10.  We took our time, because there were children involved and we didn't want to put them through divorce again.  However... we were sure we wanted to be together and married from the moment he gave me the ring.  Maybe you should give the ring back and tell him to propose again when he is sure!  If you love him and hold out hope, you two could keep dating.  This would just make it very clear to him that he needs to "poop or get off the pot".  Give him a little time, some men tend to need a little kick in the butt.  GOOD LUCK!
336313
there's nothing wrong with open communication but long distant love can sometime wear you out mainly because you spend most of the time thinking about that person and then when you finally talk you explore everything which is not good try and talk about all things at once and don't look at it at being a long distant conversation try to make plans to get together face to face and see how well things work that way you can learn more and form and closer relationship when your apart
65454
It really depends on the situation at hand and the couple as to whether or not it is too fast. I knew a couple who married after only about 6 months and neither was financially stable which caused problems in the marriage etc. and it ended in divorce because they were both pretty unhappy with the situation. Another couple I know dated for 3 months and then married and they've been married for almost 30 years. They were financially secure. I think being financially secure is a main thing to look at. you dont want to put any extra stress on the relationship because right after you are married is supposed to be one of the best times of your life and the most enjoyable. \n\nOn another note, dating long term doesnt hurt anything either. I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now.
432489
An engagement is a serious step in planning a future together. It seems he asked you to marry him as insurance to keep you tied to him while you go to college, without understanding the implications. I think you should give back the ring and wait until you finish school before making life-long commitments to a person. Especially if you won't see him.
150641
Its tough. Ive been in one for 5 years now.  It takes sacrifice, patience and dedication.  I am currently engaged and don't regret any of it.  You have to be strong and willing to talk on the phone just about every... day.
456152
I'm 20 and my fiance is 21.. weird... same ages.. we've been together for 3 years and engaged 1.. we will have been engaged for 2 and together 4 when we get married next September. I don't think age is an issue.. you have to do whats right for you when you're ready, you can't put a time frame on love  :) if you and your boyfriend want to be engaged 20 years and have a 10 year honeymoon, by all means.. do it ... do whatever makes you happy.. life is too short to worry about what other people think =)  good luck
36138
It all depends on the couple. Some people may feel they have moved too fast and think they should hold off on planning a wedding just yet. Sometimes a couple who is engaged a long time may be holding off because of their job, they  are moving around and don't have time to plan a wedding right away, or they are needing to finish college. There are lots of reasons. Money is also another reason--some people may not be able to get married due to financial reasons.
126130
Good for you if you were loyal. It is better to find out this things early in a relationship that late on. Now you can move on to a real partner.\n\nThe way you feel is the way you feel. There is nothing wrong or right in it.
635286
I think it all depends.  If you've been in a relationship with someone for a long time and you know they'll be back, then it's ideal.  Military wives do it all the time when their husbands go and fight.  However, if you haven't known the person for very long, and have never even met.  IE:  Online love.  Then screw that.  There's no point in having a long distance relationship with someone you don't know REALLY well.  Long distance relationships often fail because you two can't even be together that much, causing a series of emotions that aren't healthy.  If you're in a long term relationship, make sure it's right for both of you and you're not just doing it because you can't let someone go.
95263
ive been with the same guy for 3 years, and we have been living together for almost a year. there is nothing wrong with it as long as its for the RIGHT REASONS!!! BUT it is a huge step in a relationship (u learn A LOT more about the person) and its a good idea only if youre pretty sure it will work. Personally, it works great for me- then again my guys like my best friend- we rarely fight and we get along really well.
357931
Honestly, i think if a 4 year engagement is ok with her, then it would be acceptable.  It really only matters what you two think, and if she is ok with that, then it shouldn't be a big deal.  Personally I wouldn't want to be engaged that long, but its all personal preference for the couple involved.  However, I am just wondering, what is the big deal if you would get married before you are done with medical school?  Are you two living together now?  If you are then it shouldn't be that different than if you were to get married before you're done with school.  If you are living in separate residences or are living in separate towns, then I understand not wanting to marry her and deal with the stress of adapting to married life and having to deal with medical school. \n\nCongratulations on your decision to marry the woman you love and with medical school!  Those are two very exciting events!!!!!!
467114
Of course your fiancee will be hurt, who wouldn't?  Don't stay with someone and marry them if you're not absolutely certain.  You're just putting your happiness on the backburner for someone else - and you don't need that either.  It's never too late to call anything off - even if you're walking down the aisle already.  You haven't said "I DO" yet.  Unless you want to end up another divorce statistic, I'd say call it off.  Marriage can be very rewarding and wonderful if you find the right person and I think that's what you should do (find Mr. Right, not settle for Mr. Right Now)
164793
Depends on if your in love at the time or fallen out of love or been dumped.  I don't think it is overated but I think it can be painful experience when you lose at it.
648795
I am engaged to a wonderful man who had the same problem growing up.  He has always said that the best thing he could do under those circumstances was be himself, and although it was not always easy, things always managed to work out for the best in the long run.  I am certain you probably have heard that before and it was probably not what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth.  Best of luck to you!  Hope it works out!