Is having a kid worth it knowing that one day he/she will grow up and favor his/her spouse over his parents?\n\n\nVote for the best answer here.\n\nhttp://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ar7KSubXZn.R8YFDoRpdeFXsy6IX?qid=1006040607194
200106
I choose an answer, but I also understand where you are coming from.  What I hope will give you comfort is the knowledge they side with their spouse in order not to be divided.  (a united front and all)
631396
Just be patient with them and let them get use to the idea that you are now engaged. This is a initial reaction, and as a parent I know if my children are serious about a decision I might not like, I will eventually be won over by them being more mature than me. If your parents try to break you up, prepare your self's so that there is no miss communication between you and your fiancee', so their attempts will fail. The fact that you are of age and not luring this over their heads, and want their blessings tells me your probably both a pretty mature couple. In the meantime, just stay fast to your engagement, stick together on this issue, and give them time to realize that you are going to get" married" in time, and I bet eventually they will jump on the band wagon, and you and your financee' will have full support of the families.
179952
Don't worry about your parents...They will come around no matter what decisions you make.  I lived with my wife before we got married and we are doing great 4 years later and have a beautiful little 1 yr old girl...It helped living together before we got married, because when you live together, you see the real side of married life and what your partner is going to be like to live with.  Sometimes people change after you start living with them, but you will definitely know if he is the right one after this.  Good luck!
60840
I got married @ 19, it would have probably been better had we waited. You change some much from 19 to 31. There is a comfort in being with someone you have known for so long.   But, overall I don't regret it, other than one huge mistake on his part, we have had a good life and 3 beautiful kids. P.S. For me the twenties were the hardest
127620
I'm really pleased that you are considering giving your baby to a gay couple it shows that there are a lot of good people out there who are willing to help us (I'm gay myself)\nAs for an advice I think you should stick to your opinion and even though I don't have any advice to give you (Sorry)\nI just wanted you to know that you are not the only one struggling with her parents (Mine don't know I'm gay)\n I know I haven't much of a help but I really hope you would name me the best answer because if you do I might have the chance to go to Germany to see the soccer world cup (Yey!!!)
633600
I can not believe some of the people on here giving answers the way they do. Honestly, no one on here can tell you what to do because everyone is different. My parents were married at 19, and they love each other very much. My grandparents are the same way. It doesn't mean it always works, because it doesn't, however people need to stop offering their views and opinions like it is fact. There is no answer to this question, because no one no yahoo knows who you are.
14096
That all depends on you. Do you love him enough to wait for him to grow up? Unfortunately, some men never grow up--especially if they were not even there when their own child was born (unless there was a good excuse). I can't say for sure about your husband. Only you deep down know if he is worth waiting for. On one hand, you did take vows and you do have a son together. On the other hand, he cheated on you (gut feelings are almost always right), and he doesn't even see his own child. You technically shouldn't be seeing others while you are still married but if this person gives you the support you need then I don't see why you shouldn't. Do what you think...and I mean REALLY think would be the best for you and your son. Good Luck.
114390
I am in that situation right now. I had a one night stand and got pregnant, which I was told I could never have children. The guy and I got together but we weren't in love. We made our bed so we are lieing in it. It isn't our son's fault that we didn't use protection. Besides I am happy I had my son. We feel that even though we are not happy, in order for our son to be whole with a happy life, that we are sacrificing our happiness. Divorce is really hard on the children and being raised by a single parent is sometimes difficult. All my son's friends are being raised by a single parent. Most of them come to our home to eat dinner and get dessert which they don't get at home. They hang out at our house cos their parents are out on the weekends trying to find another mate. One has gone down the wrong road, the other misses home cooked meals, the other one misses his dad doing father-son things even though there is visitation. If there isn't any abuse involved, I would say stay until they are out of high school.
646496
Everyone thinks you should have a baby coz they have been conditioned to think that all normal people must have kids especially after they marry. Now they do not realise that exceptions exist. Bide your time, listen to them but do not get upset by their comments.
324947
possibly, i talked about kids like that about a year before i proposed so maybe he's thinking of getting married good luck to him and u if he pops the big question...it's nerve racker!
10777
Do you love him enough to stay with him if the kid is his? You have a very difficult decision to make now. If you trust him...you have the potential to be happier than ever and marry him spend your life with him and never have another problem like this...however, there is also the chance that he will do the same thing over and over. You need to evaluate your wants and needs and decide if he gives you those things...if he does in abundance then I think you have your answer. I hope the choice you make is the right one. Good luck with this!
460826
I think its a very personal choice for them alone to make, my hubby and I have been married 22 years this coming Friday, we have no children and chose not to have them, it wasn't a decision we made lightly at all, we sat and talked about it over a long length of time before we decided it was a choice we were both happy with, my reasons for not having children are very personal and too upsetting to talk about on here, my husbands reasons for not wanting children are because he has a very rare heart condition, so rare nothing can be done for him and he is one of only 5 people in the world with this condition, after disgusing things with his specialist we chose not to have children, far too many risks involved and too painful to lose a child before it reached 5 years old as was our prediction off his specialist, we have found it quiet hard over the years not having children, but some choices have to be made in life and that was ours, the one thing that really hurts us both is when people find out we have no children and it was our choice not to have them they think were child haters or wierd for not taking the risk, yet these same people have expected us to give our time up together of a weekend to babysit their kids for them so they can go out as they have such a hard life with there horrible kids been monsters all week long, double standards for them as always, but for us no, were just the odd couple for making the right choice for us.
242766
Brilliant!\nAbsolutely a wonderful idea!\n\nMy own mother could have spared me a DREADFUL first AND SECOND marriage...but I did not listen to her!\nSo, I paid the failure price!\n\nMothers know their children FAR and away better than the children know themselves, simply because they have watched HOW that child makes choices from the first day of its life!!!\n\nI believe this with ALL my heart!\n\nMothers also recognize traits in the child that are known sometimes only to the mother herself, because she may have had them or still have them and knows they are not optimum in Life's choice making!!!\n\nLet you mother choose someone, you will have the final say, after all, the chemistry has got to be THERE for YOU !!!\nBut, trust her instincts and guidance--she loves you like no other human will EVER love you in your Whole EXISTENCE AND only wants GOOD for you.\n\nI believe this even though you and I have never met!\nSome things you just have to Trust.
274132
I do not buy that.  Having kids is an amazing adventure, and you should not miss out on it.  However, do not do it unless you have the time and money to devote to them, and the confidence that you will both be together to raise them.
492256
staying for the sake of the kids will not give them any benefit, as time goes on and your kids grow they will notice things arent how they should be and will in time feel awkward, and often end up rebelling against both parents, some even leave home asap, i know quite a few old school mates who had done this, growing up in the kind of environment that you have at home now.......
326795
Would it ever occur to you that some people DONT WANT TO have kids? Not everyone is out there wanting to just be a baby machine. Some people want to have a career or travel and have other priorities that do not include having children.\n\nAnd just because you decide to not have children does not mean you should stay single. Doesn't everyone deserve to be happy?\n\nNot everyone should have children - should someone who is addcited to crack (but is married) have kids? Uhhh probably not.\n\nDon't be so closed minded.
22573
OK, hon. First of all, you don't need to prove your love to him. No matter what anybody says. No matter who you date, they will never be good enough for mommy and daddy. (Unless they pick the person) Second, don't focus so much on love. Give it time. I don't know how old you are, and personally I don't consider it an issue. If you focus on love, you will be heartbroken if things don't work out. I'm not saying set your standards low. I am not saying don't love this person. What I am saying is spend time with him. Enjoy the relationship. Don't get married young. And for gods sake don't get married without first living with the person. People seem VERY different when you have to share space with them. Trust me about that one. Don't rush. True love doesn't need a wedding band. If you love someone, being with that person should be enough. Sex is nice, but even that isn't necessary. The company of your significant other is all that is necessary. If you two love each other than that is all that matters. Marriage and sex are over rated. (Sex is nice, but still over rated) If you love him then your parents will eventually come to the realization that he is sticking around. They will either come to accept it, or they will disown you. I know this. I have been married. I was only 19. I told my parents the day before. At first they accused me of being crazy. They made some pretty insulting comments, and I told them to go fuck themselves. They learned to accept my wife and even grew to like her. You are your own person. Heres a motto that my stepfather taught me. "If you don't fuck me, feed me, or pay my bills......Go fuck yourself!" Your family is an important part of your life, but you didn't choose them. You were born with them. You couldn't change who they were. Your boyfriend is somebody that you chose to bring into your life. Your parents should respect your decisions. And if they think you are a fool for being with him...... remind them of who taught you. What examples did you have to follow. They are the 2 biggest influences in your life. Whether you know it or not. Everything that you have witnessed from them as a child has molded you to be the person that you are today. Everything from not enough hugs to the overprotectiveness. They have made you who you are. If they are unhappy with that, then they should try to do a better job next time.