i have been in my current relationship for about 5 yrs now, and although it's had its good points its had a lot of bad points. He can be lovely, but also can be mean, moody, and he has lashed out once or twice. the other night i went out with friends and i ended up at one of my freinds houses, and we talked, and he sed he liked me, but we were both drunk. i like him, and we kissed, but there is sum1 else he likes to. i don't know if he really likes me or was just drunk. help? what should i do?
206366
First, break up with your abusive boyfriend.  Then also realize that your other 'friend' just was just totally drunk and trying to get laid.  There are lots of guys out there.  Go out with one of them but not the two you've mentioned.
347379
Partying and drink doesn't prove anything - it sound like you have an amazing relationship with your boyfriend, don't let a night of fun and being drunk mistake you for him not loving you. You said you both love each other, and that is not worth throwing away.\n\nIt sounds like he was careless, but if he said sorry etc... i'm sure it was a mistake...
531245
Honestly, it sounds like your friend was taking advantage of you. And that's probably hard to believe since you two are so close. Men like kissing and fooling around with women and they don't really care who the woman is or about her feelings. Maybe he is lonely and hadn't been with a girl in a long time and you were just there so he decided to fool around with you with out considering your feelings. I'm sorry but he doesn't seem like a good friend. I'd try to find other friends and spend more time with them. It doesn't mean you have to ignore him completely. But he obviously doesn't care about your feelings and you should hang out with  other people who will. \n\nAnother possibility is that he might have been confused and wanted to kiss you to see if he might have had any feelings for you as more than a friend. Then he realized you two can only be friends. \n\nHowever, I think that the first might be more correct. He was not being respectful or considerate. Even if he wanted to try going out with you, he shouldn't have fingered you. He could have asked you out on a date but not go so far. I think he was just being plain selfish and took advantage of you. \n\nI would advise you to forget him and find another guy. But if you still want to try to get closer to him and get into a boy friend-girl friend  relationship, I would advise you to give him some time, but always treat him well, but don't really hint or talk about romance. Just show him you care by your actions. If after a while, it still didn't work, ask him out and say that you would really appreciate it if he could at least give you a chance. Tell him you think that you two would get a long great and that you want a chance because it's worth getting to know a girl who loves him so much. But don't let anything too intimate happen between you two on the first dates. He should respect that. Good luck! I hope everything works out for you!
365628
OK what is the background?\nhas he always drank a lot when he does drink, and if so how did  treat you then? what about when he isn't drinking how is he then?\ni don't know the details to me it looks like he is angry at you for something, but doesn't know how to talk about it, is he resentful about someone you know, or is he jealous, does he blame you for something in his life that isn't going the way he wants? if this is a behavior that he often has, you need to get out. if it isn't then he needs to talk to you about what is bothering him. but the most important thing is he needs to quit drinking, that is never the answer.
247245
dear,\ni have been(in a way I'm still) for 5 years with a man who had, more or less, the same problem.I told me that he cannot be happy if he was going out and not drinking . So...when we were out with a group of friends, after a while the alcohol was more important than me.\nI don't remember how many times I left a place alone, leaving him there already drunk.\nThe point is: do u deserve this?\nNo darling, u deserve much more than a stupid man who cannot be happy without his drinking!find a man who is there for you!
299923
yu should here both stories frist but if she was drunk then how does she know what he was doing but if he loves you then i don't think he would do that but why would you friend say that he did that to her  but i would talk to both at the same time.
495296
you have been together long enough to know what hes like and what he is capable of. dancing is just dancing. he cared about your feelings thats y he didnt go and he told you, that was his way of saying, i love you and i wont go for you if you know what i mean, even if he made you feel bad im sure he loves you. you have to stop being jealous, also its healthy for him to hang around his friends and you should go out dancing with the girls as well. see how he reacts to that. in the end, only you know what he is like. so is he trustworthy or not?
264423
Wow sounds like theres not enough trouble in your life if your going out looking fot what might have happened...I'm sure there are ways of figureing it out. altest at the time the possible incident possibly occured ....geeeeee..how bout chalking it up to experience and not getting so drunk you dont know what happened while apparently being with someone you obviously dont trust.........again i say geeeeeeeeeeeeee
483654
Continue doing what you are doing because apparently it's working. There is no bad blood and you two are getting along so don't change on him, because that will not guarantee that i will stay like that, and if you like him, its best to keep it as friends thats from experience unless he has expressed that he likes you. If not then you gotta suck it up because its better to have not said anything and keep him as a close friend than to say something and chance losing him as a friend.
565509
Record your calls if possible. Then you can hear when you're sober what you are saying and in what tone. It is possible he is trying to play some kind of guilt trip. Keep in mind though, that some people do become angry drunks. Some mellow, some cry, some get mad. I noticed in my earlier years that the mood I am in at the time I have a drink seems to be escalated if I continue to drink. If it is an issue with the alcohol, then why not stop? If he is this great love of your life, which would you rather have the bottle or him? Plus if you have an issue with the alcohol, think about what may happen if you do get married and have children?
387157
Sounds like he just wanted to hang out with a friend... and this would probably go over nicely with you if you liked his friends. People's friends reflect who they are. I think the issue here is, are you willing to accept your boyfriend, and his friends, the way they are? He has something in common with these friends and that is why they hang out together. Wouldn't it be nice to have a boyfriend with friends you truly liked? Don't pick a fight about this.. it is who he is. What is there to fight about? I'd take a long, good hard look at your companion and decide if he's offering you what you want.
350328
You probably don't want to hear this but...I don't think he loves you, I think he likes you and he was probably horny. If I was you I would just keep him as a friend and start dating other people and leave my options open. Good luck.
41810
sure sounds like a drinking problem's probably the 'real' problem. He sounds inhibited, and the drinking at least for a time lowers his fears, nervousness, insecurity, inhibition, guilt or whatever levels ... addictive behavior...do you honestly believe that your honest feelings are at fault? Sounds difficult, complicated...and, perhaps, getting worse. Whether he's having 'commitment phobias' or just expecting you to do as he says, or whatever he's perhaps not discussing, he sounds 'out of control', but he wants to 'be in charge'...something in him might be feeling ashamed, low self-esteem/image, and, he's demanding that you follow his routine, with implied not much room for spontaneity, let alone you feeling love(-d), safe (at peace, unperturbed) and valued -- but, how can he value you, if he's troubled about who he is -- or, why else drink/escape, and then try to use sex with such timing, like drunk clockwork. It sounds like your feelings are good, clear, trying to communicate...your feelings are innocent, your true companions/guides...BEST WISHES...in finding (out) your way(-s)
585291
Well dear, the English language, although among the richest, is still poor to express certain issues. \nLove! Is Love a feeling or a property of a person? I think the second! Thus, if you are a person who love, then you love and you love everyone and everything! That is great! Congratulations!\nNow, since you love, you love your friends, also, regardless of their customs, attractions, wills, etc. What you are asking in if you should do what you do not like, am I right? \nIn the case you do not like something, you do not do this, because your closest and best friend is yourself! Yourself will never turn you down, or at least more than you will do to her!\nALso, we have many friends who either drink a lot, or smoke or take drags, ..., we get with them and try to influence them to soemthing we consider better! Others are doing thing we consider them fine, although those activities are not our style! Etc. We get together with them. We enjoy what we can communicate each other! Same way with your friend! You remain friends, but you should do what you really want! If you cchange, your friends will not like you any more, you will be done aanother person! If they like the new you and the new you is less good that the previous, run away, those might not be good friends, might not even be any kind of friends!\nNow, if she would bring another boyfriend, what would you think? How would you react?\nIt all depends on how you feel, what kind of girlfriend she is, what you want out of this relation, ...\nI might enjoy both of them and look around for another relation!!!!
317703
does he talk about how he likes other girls around you a lot? if he does, then he might just think of you as a really good friend, as someone he can always count on and trust. but...if he doesn't, then that just might be your sign to make your move. but don't go into it too fast, or you might end up driving him away. i had a guy friend like that, and we did almost everything together. a lot of people said that we would be cute and good for each other since we always did everything together. well, after a while we started dating and it took about 3 days to realize that it was way too weird and we stopped dating. luckily we stayed friends.  but I've also had friends in your situation that had started dating, and are so happy together. it depends on what you're willing to do and sometimes risk. i hope i helped you at least a little bit and wish you good luck!
212931
Well it could be a few things. She could be just messing with your head becouse she finds it funny when she's drunk. She could like you but is somehow embarrased by you so she dosn't want to date you. Another possibility is she dosn't want to "ruin the friendship". The only way your going to know for sure its to have a serious talk with her. If its a matter that she dosn't want to ruin the friendship, you have a hard choise. Accept it or you can try to explain to her that the lack of a relationship will ultimitly ruin the friendship(which also could ruin the friendship.). After all what is a relationship other than a friendship taken further?
226453
c'mon don't be so hard on yourself. of course he likes you enough to spend so much time with you. however, it would be wise to be cautious and tread carefully. why look for signs, just enjoy the now. it does seem you are happy right now, so don't question and don't let doubts prevail.all the best babe!