A few of my boyfriends friends have cheated on their longtime girlfriends. I don't know if it's a regular occurance or if it's only happened a few times. They are really good guys to hang around with and are close friends with my boyfriend. But I just dont' trust them now. What is the likely hood of my man following suit and doing the same? I know when a group of guys get together, they drink too much, lose track of time and can be totally stupid. But is it common that if a few guys do it, it's sort of made it acceptable for all guys within that group?
206301
Well, Ma'am, ask yourself a question....Do you trust your boyfriend to be sane and sober all the time?First off, a practise is certainly not always acceptable to a guy, even if his peers are also doing it...in that case, we guys would all be doing doope, smoking,drinking and in short being entirely antisocial.But we aren't,are we?Do not worry,Ma'am....even if boys drink, they do stupid things, yes...embarrasing thing,yes...but hurtful things, no.
422039
Trust is hard, Im going through that same situation myself. But Ive come to realize that always checking up on them teaches them how to be more deceiving.  If they are doing something it will come to light regardless of you checking up on him. Searching for things is a very bad habit. You should only search when the suspicion is there, if there are no signs of infidelity let it go, you might find something innocent and that will just fuel the suspicion and drive you crazy. If they are going to cheat they are going to cheat there is nothing you can do about it, when it comes to light then deal with it, dont wait for it to happen.
84111
He's probably cheating or looking for other women to cheat with.  Once a cheater it's always in their nature to do it again.  You're probably better off leaving this guy and moving on to someone else that makes you happier.
226841
WELL, IT IS NEVER GOOD TO KEEP SECREST FROM YOUR GUY, IT IS A BOMB JUST WAITING TO EXPLODE. YOU SHOULD TELL HIM. BETTER YET IT REALLY ISN'T APPROPRIATE FOR YOU TO BE HANGING OUT WITH OTHER MEN AND TAKING THINGS FROM THEM WHETHER YOU ARE BEING A GOOD GIRL OR NOT. WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF THE TABLES WERE REVERSED. IF YOU SAY YOU WOULDN'T MIND OR CARE THEN YOU DO NOT LOVE THIS MAN. I BELIEVE THE ONLY FRIENDS COUPLES SHOULD HAVE ARE FRIENDS THEY BOTH HANG OUT WITH. YOUR FRIENDS BECOME HIS AND HIS YOURS. SAVE YOU HOTNESS FOR YOUR GUY AND GIVE HIM THE CHANCE TO GIVE YOU THE THINGS THESE OTHER GUYS ARE OFFERING. DON'T BE NIEVE, THOSE GUYS ARE AFTER ONE THING, AND YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT. DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH THEM OR YOUR GUY CAUSE YOU MIGHT END UP LOOSING HIM.I THINK IT IS STILL CHEATING MAYBE NOT IN ACTION, BUT IN THOUGHT AND THAT IS JUST AS BAD WHEN IT IS DELIBERATE.HAVING FEELINGS LIKE THIS MEANS YOU ARE IMMATURE AND NOT READY FOR A STEADY RELATIONSHIP. SORRY THE TRUTH HURTS.
335593
Once a cheater always one, believe that for alot of reasons.  Biggest one is they feel it's ok to do it, or they wouldn't have done it.  second is that the trust is gone, and it will affect the relationship, and therefore, giving them more reason to go out and find someone else.
309768
It's my opinion that it doesn't matter whether it's a woman or a man...I, myself, would not get serious or even date someone I knew had not be faithful.  Even if that person was unfaithful only once.  I could never trust them.  It takes a lot of &*$^%* to cheat!  I've been the victim of one who cheated on me.  We were married.  It seems to be a thrill that they seek, even when the consequences of getting caught could devastate their life.  Who would be stupid enough to take that chance?   I don't understand.
587671
What makes you think he is cheating?  If you can't trust him, how can you have a good relationship?  A relationship that lasts has a lot of trust and honesty between the two people.  You have to ask yourself why do you think that he would be cheating?  Though, past experiences could cause you to think that way.  You should always give them the benefit of the doubt.  Plus, an hour away isn't too far. =)
125710
Honestly, cheaters are cheaters.  Even if these things did not mean anything, which they likely didn't sicne they are in cyber world, he would probably mess with  them if he had the chance.  If they live nearby, it is probably just a matter of time before he gets with them.> Sounds to me like he likes flirting with danger, and unfortunately, most times people get swept away by the games they play.
433799
guys will be guys - I don't think you could say guys cheat ( that is what they do ) , but i think you could say that women cheat , because they should not do that - so it is cheating   --- I hope this helps you - email me if I didn't make myself clear
659317
First of all your not the scum he is. If he is cheating on her with you then he will cheat on you with someone else. Since your relationship with him has been sexual I would tell the girlfriend. She has a right to know what she has been exposed to. I am not saying that you have anything but the guy may be seeing several other women and not just you. It is also very common to be angry at the other woman and not yourself or the guy. If you look at this logically then you would see who you should be angry at. For the last two years this guy has been leading you and his girlfriend and God knows who else on. When you found out about the girlfriend you probably thought that he would dump her and stay with you. It doesn't always work that way. If you dont tell her and leave the guy you are always going to be second guessing what he is up to. You are always going to be comparing yourself to his girlfriend and you will never be happy. Telling his girlfriend would only be fair to her. You have known about her and have seen what this guy is like. Maybe his girlfriend needs an eye opener. And the guy deserves to be alone.
578297
Babe, \n\ni must say as a woman myself i am surprised you took her back. If i ever cheated on my boyfriend i would expect him 2 finish with me. \n\nIf she cheated on you once there is a reason for it and alcohol's  not an excuse. And do you honestly think her mates would not lie for her?? come on you have pals you know how it works. They always say when someone cheats once they will most definitely do it again.\n\nMake a break, stop driving yourself mad the trust is obviously gone.
450240
Wow a lot of you are pretty hostile up here….  I mean you guys would've told Eve to dump that guy Adam and talk to the snake.  Tough crowd\n\nYou sound a little bit more like a guy (in thinking) than a girl.  I've heard the same line at bachelor parties.   Anyway you do have a serious issue here maybe to complex to answer.\n\nYour issue is multifaceted… on the one hand you're jealous of your boyfriend's past lovers…. sorry I used the word lovers but you need to accept that reality.  Also you feel you have not explored enough to feel comfortable in the long term relationship.\n\nAbout your jealousy.  It seems you are more jealous of his experiences and maybe their possible expertise than anything else.  It doesn't sound like he's thinking about them or even wants them.  The fact that he told you about them and you probably pushed him to give details, says that he's not trying to hide anything… he's being upfront… give him a lot of credit for that.\n\nNow I've been with some women in the past that could rock your world in bed… however they turned out to be psychopaths.   So again realize your boyfriend is with you not them.  These women are no longer in a relationship because they could not hold his interest the way you are.  He wants to marry you and be with you forever so they should be jealous of you !\n\nYou really need to tone it down on the jealousy.  Work hard to come to terms with this.  This will destroy a relationship especially if you continue to escalate it into something it's not.  \n\nThe other part of your issue is a bit more complicated because it involves the number of partners you have not had and you feel you are missing.   You feel it's not fair that he has had more sexual experiences then you.   You have to ask yourself do you want to get five guys to sleep with to fell even.  (By the way my e-mail is at the bottom of the page we can reduce this to 4).  What if you say you get 6 guys does this mean you're going to let him sleep with one more girl before you get married?    It's not fair but then again life is never fair.\n\nDon't get me wrong I do understand your yearning to try to be with others.  You only live once.  Others might teach you to do something sexually different and exciting but on the other hand they might be less capable than her future husband.  The other side of this “affair” is… you go out with a gentleman that interested in your adventure, no strings attached, just sex… shake hands afterwards…. he gets in bed with you, he is hot looking, you get down to his manhood... wow that’s big…. he makes love all night long and you come five times.   Now what .... you just learned that your future husband is not as skilled as you thought… but he will be with you the rest of their life.  \n\nIf you do this to catch up are you going to tell your future husband?   Wouldn't this now make him jealous as you are feeling?   If you decide not to tell him and keep your secret that might work.  But being in a few arguments with women I can assure you he might pull it out of your history bag and in the heat of an argument, say ..…”And I slept with Rambo” !\n\nYou said you’re jealous of these ex-girlfriend's for different reasons and you feel you will “never be… good in bed.     I think you may be confusing the number of partners somehow equals how good they are in bed.  Quantity does not equal quality.   \n\nIf you want to be good in bed you need to be good in bed… it does not necessarily mean more partners.  While a couple of partners might give you some new techniques, positions or STDs … it really comes down to you reading about these things, studying them, discussing fantasies and other ideas with your future husband and trying them out together.  Now he may hesitate at first… and say you're just fine (guys are so stupid) but push the point.  Hopefully he won't be the kind guy who says…
370899
Answers:\n1. Guy's are pre-programmed by nature to cheat. It's nature, and look how the animals interact with sex. they just seek pleasure and no commitment.\n2. You let him Cheat you. You showed something like "cheating is OK.\n3. He has a Cheater friend. It's peer pressure here.\n4. He has a broken family background: History repeats itself.
141440
This is tough.  Part of it is that you sound insecure.  You say he won't cheat but you don't seem to believe it.  Trust is hard sometimes.\n\nAll of us guys look at other girls (sorry it's true, we just don't act on it).  I wouldn't look at another girl when I'm with my girlfriend because I wouldn't want her to feel bad.  \n\nHe may like the attention of other girls because it makes him feel attractive. But he's not making you feel secure, making you feel like the only one so there is a problem.\n\nMost people do get jealous.  Try to have more trust him and believe that in yourself more that he wants to be with you.\nAs long as nothing is going on he should be allow to have girl's who are friends same as you are allowed to have guys who are friends.  Now if one tried to kiss him...than snap all means ;-)
16333
Most likely you'll never know unless you know how to get to the bottom of his secrets.With the guys I know, because I know alot, it usually means he don't wanna be wit you or he's cheatin, but usually when they're cheatin they still wanna act as cool as possible, or maybe there's alot of family or friend problems.And in that case just give him time to situate things because guys dont talk to people about their "hommies" or their "Fam".
36456
if a guy(ur bf) stays out all nite long.. hes just a dumbass, wanting to get caught... a guy whos cheating would just want a "WAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM" not a full blown date!\n\nof course this applies IF HE "IS" CHEATING. cuz he can stay out all nite long with his friends.
166172
I would be pretty upset if I found out my husband had “secret female friends,” I'm sorry I mean “private friends.” It sounds fishy. I would be suspicious. You need to ask more questions...If it is so harmless then why would he hide it from you for so long? Why are all of his private friends female? I wouldn't accuse him of cheating entail there was prove. But you should defiantly keep a close eye on this situation.