Not that my cheating was right, but my husband cheated and never confessed. My conscience is killing me, but why tell if I don't have to?
207624
Now what do you think ? Why would you ever tell him if there is no way for him to know, Put it behind you ask GOD to forgive you and move on. If you tell him it is over.Believe me men never let it go,they may say they can but it is something about their ego it just eats them up. Do not tell him
633638
Ok, you are totally in the wrong; cheating on your husband. You need to resolve the issues you have in that relationship first - the issues that led you to the cheating, THEN examine what you really feel for this guy. He is completely right for not opening up to you all the way, but you both have crossed a line you can never go back over.
279049
Been married 26 years and have never cheated once.  Never thought about it once, never been a position where I was tempted to even once.  When parents raise you correctly with high morals, cheating is not really much of a temptation.
128512
Those of you that have said no to this, but have commented on why people cheat, and judge those that do, have really got no right to judge/comment unless they have been there and done that themselves or have been on the receiving end. As for me, yes I have cheated. Nearly 5 years into my marriage, we started having alot of problems. We weren't spending quality time together or communicating and there was no sex. When I tried talking to him on a deep and meaningful level, I got no input from him. I told him repeatedly that I was unhappy in our marriage and even to the point where I asked him if he would come to marriage counselling with me. He refused! I spent more and more time on the internet chatting to my friends until I got talking to a guy from Germany. Eventually, I was telling him about my marriage problems and how unhappy I was. From what started out as a friendship on the net and someone to talk to once or twice a week, ended up developing into something more and talking every day. It got to the stage where I hardly spent any time with my husband at all and he knew I was chatting on the internet. This guy from Germany told me he had developed feelings for me and was flying down to Melbourne to meet me. I kept it quiet from my husband and told him I was going away for a couple of weeks and that we needed the break. I picked this guy up from the airport and we drove interstate together and holidayed for two weeks. Yes, we had the most wonderful time together and when it was time for him to leave, he wanted to come back to Australia again and visit me. I felt so guiltly for cheating on my husband that when I returned home, I told my husband and also told him it was over between us and I moved out of the house. The guy from Germany and myself continued on with our relationship for about a year. The second time he came here, he spent a month with me in Melbourne where I was living at the time. Sadly though it didn't work out because long distance relationships are just too hard to maintain and there was no future for us because I found out in the end that he had no plans to marry and live in Australia. Some people think that people who cheat on their partners are scum, well most often than not, the people that are the cheaters, suffer as well. I'm not condoning cheating and I'm sorry for what I did but I not only lost my house (I left it to my husband)and security, but I nearly lost my family as well because they didn't agree with what I had done and my brother-in-law disowned me for awhile. If I could take back what I did, I would, but as the saying goes, what's done is done and my advice is to anyone that is thinking of cheating on their partners, don't! He'll end up finding out and if he doesn't, you'll have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life (if you have a conscious). For 2 to 3 years after I left my husband, I was an emotional mess. I cried constantly for the hurt that I brought upon my husband and also my family. If your marriage is in turmoil, communication is the key to a long and lasting marriage, so try and talk things through, seek a marriage counsellor if you have to and if all else fails, tell your partner you are leaving before you do something you will regret later! Life wasn't meant to be easy and you have to constantly put the time and effort in to make a relationship work! I learnt the hard way.....
675317
men are pigs generally; so I never  can trust my husband does not matter how much he acts lovely .\nI have not been cheated yet !! but it is possible  because \nmen are pigggggs.
24320
Well, has he ever said he didn't love you when he cheated?? People can love someone and still cheat on them. However, just because you don't trust him, doesn't mean he is cheating. Trust is something that people have to earn, and once that trust is broken it can take years to regain, if you ever do. My concentration would be on letting go of the past. You can't battle the present if you are still fighting with the past. You have to accept that in the past he cheated, and that you chose to stay with him. This means you have to give him a fresh start. This will not be easy to do, but remember, if he is getting falsely accused or reminded of his past that eventually the past will repeat it's self. This ia a time of rediscovering the love you have for eachother, and getting to know eachother better. He also needs to be doing everything he can to make you feel secure in your marriage and in his devotion to you. If he is doing certain things that r making you feel as he is cheating, it is best to tell him that these things are bothering you. If he continues with them anyway, then you might have to look at the situation a little more closely to be sure that he is not straying on you. But, don't let jealousy and self insecurity alone ruin your marriage. Yes, I agree that alot of women have an intuition about these sort of things, but, on the other hand, sometimes it is just a jealous heart looking for something that isn't there. And, when the latter of these two is happening, perfectly good relationships end. Talk to your husband, find closure for the past, and start new. Find out what each of you want and need from the relationship on every level and enjoy loving eachother. My heart goes out to you, I know you are not in an easy situation, and you have alot of hard work ahead of you. But, if you can rediscover the love and passion that once filled your marriage it will all be worth it. Good Luck tou you.
89404
sorry to hear you let it get that far, i'm sure you are too. normally, i would say talk to your mate. but in this instance i would have to say you need to figure out in your head and heart what you really want and get you priorities worked out. your children are the ones who would really suffer for your indiscretions. i'm sure that is not what you want. but if your husband finds out, i don't think he'll be very understanding or forgiving. i wouldn't. but if you wan to save your marriage, then i would focus entirely on my husband and my marriage and making him happy. kiss butt, in other words. secretly, of course. one day, if you feel your marriage is strong enough, then you can tell him. the only thing that is going to help is your conscience. honestly, you may learn a bigger lesson by having to carry this secret and not burden your husband with what you did. sorry.
53800
Joe, I can relate to your situation. My husband is in work release and right now he is accusing me of the exact same thing. Just when I think that we have gotten past this something else pops up and we start this mess all over again. Are you positive that there is an affair going on? Speak to your wife in a loving tone and really let her know that this is bothering you. Let her also know that you won't stand for any lies. If she is unfaithful then the pressure of you being nice is going to make her feel guilty that she will admit to her wrong. Just so you know, I have never ever cheated on my husband and I wouldn't ever because of the love and the respect that I have for him and myself. Marriage is a give and take and both husbands and wives need to do this more and more. Good luck and may God bless you through this journey.
58301
Your first option is to ask him.  Make sure you don't do it as an attack, or he'll probably cover it up.  Also, if you do it as an attack, and he isn't cheating, then he'll feel resentful and feel like any trust you two had, is gone.  Another option is to ask a friend {or PI} to watch your husband for a while.  Call him at work to see if he's there, find out what he's doing if he's "working extra hours"  Check emails, internet history, phone calls in and out, and so on.  Don't be afraid to pop in at lunch to surprise him with a home cooked meal.  This will give you extra time with him, make him feel special, and also thwart plans if he's trying to cheat.  Also, see if there are people that are with him often, that you feel you could get an honest answer from.  But honestly, I think asking him first, in a very soft and subtle tone, is your best bet.  But remember, never ask a question you can't handle any answer too.  I don't mean don't get angry or mad, but make sure you're at a place with yourself that you can hear what he has to say to you, no matter what his answer is.  I wish you all the best, insecurities, whether real or not, always hurt.
647812
Well, if I had a husband and I suspected him cheating I would first come out and ask him! Heck with pretending to be someone else. It's pretty much how well you know him also, a woman will always have to trust her instincts if you suspect him being a cheat then look for clues, if he keeps cheating it won't be long before he gets caught, no matter what a cheating spouse sooner or later WILL get caught. That's why I'm divorced now, but I was the one that cheated and yep! I got caught.
397672
Yes my Hubby cheated 3 years ago,We did seperate for about 3 months, anyhow we ended up working it out..We got way to comfy in the marriage and things started to go downhill,And then the unthinkable happened..My first thought was divorce when i found out..as i said i moved out..But until your put in this position you just never know ..I felt if i could LEARN to trust him again and of course forgive him for what he did knowing it would take ALOT of time and patience on his part for the damage he caused to me, Then i would be willing to try it again..Today we are very very happy, The best our marriage have ever been.. And its taken awhile but i believe it was worth it. We have been together 17 years now..But if it ever happens again, I will be divorced..And no LOOKING BACK!
612551
Try this:\n-If you have to ask yourself "Did I cheat?" or "Is this cheating"... then consider it cheating.
642718
Well, hon, unfortunately you are trapped in a self created mess and you will have to face the consequences of your actions when they are revealed. Do I think your husband knows? Of course he knows! He may not know about it in concrete, factual terms, but he knows something is going on based on your actions, behavior and the subtle clues you've left behind. Unfortunately, when we are thrust into the throes of lust and passion, even though we tend to think we are being secretive and subtle about it, we aren't. In fact, we are screaming it across a loudspeaker. How? By the way we dress, act, and so forth. According to a private investigator I know, 98% of the partners of people that are having affairs KNOW that this is what is going on because they have "intuited" it. Thus, your hubby is asking probing questions to verify what he senses in you. It is possible however, and you need to be aware of this, that others have seen you with your lover, and may have reported it back to your husband. Again, as subtle and as cool as we think we are, we aren't. People watch.\n\nDo I think you should confess? Yes I do. This is risky because he may become so hurt and betrayed by your actions he may file for divorce, but this is a chance you have to take. Remember, as an adult you have to be responsible for your actions in life, and you have to sometimes pay the consequences for your actions. He may want to divorce you, or maybe he won't. In fact, he may want you to go for marriage counseling together to work it through. But you won't know this for sure until you carefully and sensitively discuss this with him. \n\nChances are he is going to want to know why you did this and you are going to have to look deep within yourself to find the root causes of your actions. You absolutely must take ownership of your actions, and apologize accordingly. You can't change the past now, but you can remedy it by acknowledging what you did and taking action to resolve the problem, build trust again with your partner, and forgive yourself. Look within. On the surface many of us venture into affairs because we want a different kind of attention from another man than what we are getting at home. Sometimes, we are drawn to someone because they possess something that our partner doesn't and we find it captivating. Sometimes we want to spice up our lives and have a bit of adventure, just as you said. But usually the root cause of our actions, beneath the excitement and forbidden nature of it all, is that we feel unappreciated, unloved, and undervalued by our partners and think - hope really -that someone else will give that to us. What we want, in effect, is a boost to our low self esteem, which is something we can garner from within ourselves rather than having to get it from outside sources.\n\nThe bottom line is simple: You are going to have to face the music, hon. I know you are scared of this, but maintaining a secret will create a larger wedge between you. This is far more damaging to a relationship because relationships must be built on honesty and trust, and without that, you have nothing. Relationships with secrets are doomed to fail because secrets always have a way of coming to the surface. And finally, unresolved issues between the two of you will affect not only your marriage, but your kids as well, and that isn't fair to them.\n\nI wish you good luck.
239551
I have never cheated. When I said my vows, I took them to heart. Besides, I could never do something so cold hearted or heartless. When your truly in love, cheating never crosses your mind!!!
63285
Nope, I've never cheated. I think it's not the right thing to do. You should just break up instead of just cheating on them...
491769
My opnion is I think you should tell her. What if she doesn't know...what if she doesn't think her husband is a cheat? I mean, I didn't. I had no idea until he told me. I'm glad I found out.\nYou have to follow your heart and choose what you feel is right.\nBut remember if this was you and your husband had a side dish, would you want to know?
546656
Dear,\nPlease do not ever work on guess and doubt when it comes the relationship with your husband. \nThe more improtant is his love with you...if it is intact.....do not spoil yourself in doubt...\n\nBut still if you have some strong proofs to prove it, talk to him very openly. Tell him why you doubt and let him to clearify himself also........make a open debate....do not hide any thing.....\n\nAnd if you feel...one day he will betray you...\nLEAVE HIM NOW.......show him women are not weak......