Ok, so my girlfriend and I have had some trust issues. I wrote about what's going on previously with her mysterious phone and text messages. I ended up telling her I was leaving her unless she called the girl who was texting in front of me and changed her phone number. Now- how do I go about regaining my trust?
204266
first off, dont listen to the people telling you to get a man. they are just people who dont get enough sex. secondly, i have severe trust issues because i have been cheated on by EVERYONE except my current girl.yes, im a lesbian. Give it time, do not ask her to prove herself, let her do what she is going to do, if she does what you asked her to, then give it time, it will take time sweety. if you want to talk more, octabreaker, or email me octabreaker@yahoo.com
459216
Wow, buddy, it sounds like you really did screw up.  That sucks for you.  If you truly want to try and make things work with this woman, slow down.  She's probably really hurt right now, and she doesn't feel like she can trust you.  Start with little things, like a sweet email.  Send her an ecard to apologize.  Show her by your actions how much you regret what happened, because we all know actions speak louder than words.  The biggest thing, though, is to back off if she asks you to.  It may hurt like Hell, but you could earn some of her respect back if you comply with her wishes.  Best of luck in finding your answer.  I hope this helped even a little bit.
235873
There's not much you can do.  If you tell her, you risk the chance that she'll think you want to get back together.  Are you really sure your not just being paranoid?  Not everyone plans their life around their enemies.  If you really have proof, just go up to her and ask her if the other guy is what she really wants. hope it goes well.
601580
You may never regain the trust she had for you. You can suggest counselling and also don't try to rush it. You have a lot of bad marks against you and really need to prove yourself to her. Also have you thought about what will happen if you get back with her? What made you get into the affair in the same place? Will this reoccurring bad behavior surface again. I'm don't deny that she loves you but just doesn't want to go through the pain of betrayl again. Take some time and get your priorities straight. Good luck
87076
This is all about trust.  If you know in your heart that you can never trust her again then you have to let her go.  A relationship without trust will never work and if you continue the relationship knowing you can't trust her then you are just wasting your time and hers.
93078
Well she's quite insecure about your relationship. Reassure her that she's the only one and do little things to build her trust. If it don't work, dump her ass.. You don't need that.
246562
you answered your own question. if you are that insecure, you should just leave her alone. you say she trusts you, so why don't you trust her?
562335
I think when you mess up in a relationship it's hard to earn your trust back. It's the HARDEST thing in the world, and I say it b/c there are things that I said to my fiance over 5 yrs ago that he still brings up to this day ~ and vice versa for him. But talking always helps... I would say if you really think this guy is Mr. Right go up to him on Saturday and talk to him. But if your out having a good time, just continue to have a good time and leave the serious talks for another day, just try to be good friends again AND then see if you can get back together. I think sometimes it's hard to be hurt or confused and jump right back into the same situation, but if your confused and you have fun then he will remember what he likes about you or he'll find out what he doesn't like about you... but either way your better off knowing which is how he feels. \n\n~ Good luck
117920
Your girlfriend is scared that you will leave her. Have you been unfaithful in the past? This is feeding her fear. You should not change your feelings about honesty and openness, this is a good thing in a healthy relationship. If you told her the information in an arrogant way, then you may be creating this situation yourself. But, if you were diplomatic and caring when you told her, then the problem is hers, not yours. If her lack of trust is annoying you or getting you down, then think about ending the relationship as arguments will only feed her insecurities and make the situation worse. If you love her enough to keep reassuring her and you can do this without changing yourself, then stay with her until the jealousy subsides. But be aware that it will always be around.
401030
Earning trust back is hard; it takes time.  But start of small, show her that you care and that you are indeed there for her.  Try to take her out, even if it's just as friends.  Don't try to get ANYTHING from her.  Make sure you don't hurt her again and make sure she knows that you won't.  Get her something special that will show that you are putting thought into her and how you really feel.  Take the time to call her daily, talk to her.  Even if it's just texting her to say "Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."  It's okay to still tell her that you love her [if you do] But don't try to move onto her too fast.  Give her some time and let her realize what she wants.  But just make sure that she knows you care.
484025
To be honest your best off ignoring it if both you and your girlfriend trust each other this should not be an issue anyway. The ex is more than likely only doing it to annoy you hoping it will cause problems so don't rise to it. She is with you not him :)
374785
she cheated, it doesnt matter who it was with. you have to decide if you're willing to forgive her and trust her that she won't  do it again.
325007
theres nothing i can assure to u cause most of us women....trust is like really a big deal for us...once uve done something its hard to gain our trust back..but just talk to her..theres nothing to lose now..just be honest and just show her ur sincerity...even if it would take a year just to gain her trust again...ull do that if u love her...and last thing...dont provoke her about that issue cause she might answer u somthing that u wont like even if she didnt mean it...good luck and next time....please dont cheat ok?before doing or even planning it again...think about her...and what if ur on her shoes?
253582
ugh welcome to my world! its very hard to gain trust again and ive been struggling with that for the past year with my bf. he is amazing and loving and the best person i have EVER met,,, yet i am always testing the waters and trying to catch him out in a lie. it drives ME crazy so i would imagine it makes him feel that way too. \n\none step is realising what you are doing, which has happened because you are here asking the question. trust is sacred and its hard to get it back even tho this is a new person who hasnt hurt you. what im trying to do is, whenever i have those awful 'ghosts from the past' flying around my head, i think about everything great that my bf has said and done, things that are so different from anyone else and make me feel important and loved. it does help but i have to really work at the demons. \n\nim aware that there are no guarantees in life, you never know whats going to happen, but living in the past is not the way to go. there are people out there who would not cheat - you're one yourself so it stands to reason there are others. thats what i tell myself too. i have major jealousy issues because every single one of my exes way back to the teen years cheated on me with a girl they swore was 'just a friend'. i cant stand hearing those words and they make my skin prickle. but that is in my head and in my past. \n\none of my friends just told me that i have to tell myself that i CANNOT LET THE PAST CONTROL ME. all these years i thought i was in control, always on guard, always trying to catch people out in lies, etc etc. i vowed i would never let myself get humiliated again.. but thats where my fault lies - i was looking for it, waiting for it to happen again and letting it control my life. that is not healthy. i am trying to just live day by day and not let those that hurt me in the past CONTINUE to hurt me by infecting my brain and causing me to not trust my bf. if he truly loves me he will not cheat on me... so the message to take from that is tha if he does cheat on me one day, he is not the right person for me afterall and im better off not being in the relationship anymore, no matter how much it hurts. but i dont think about that often either, i think about today and tomorrow and yesterday. and how much love my bf shows me, and little by little its helping me to erase the past.\n\ngood luck! dont let others tell you that you are nuts, its a very hard thing to get over for many people, especially if you were badly hurt in the past and more than once.
68850
Well I'm sorry to say this but she shouldn't have trusted him this much. I know she was so crazy for him because he was her firest bf even though she had never met him in person. You are her real friend and I think it's true that she never had any bf before, but what about him? He could have just lied to her about whatever he said. Maybe she wasn't this guy's first gf. Maybe he was playing around with her online after all just for fun. Then she started to get serious, which probably made him upset, so he just changed his phone # and everything to get rid of her. \nI'm so sorry to say this but there's nothing you guys can do. He doesn't love her as she does. It's just gonna annoy him if you try hard to find his new phone # and contact him to tell how much she loves him and wants him back. \nSorry...but I believe she learned something from this experience.
172994
If he's convinced that you've been cheating on him and can't be persuaded otherwise, then he has trust issues. If he doesn't trust you, how strong is your relationship? \nAnd do you really know what he's thinking? You sound humiliated, and what you really need is a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. So many problems can be sorted by talking openly and honestly. If you love him, then you have to be able to come to him with your problems. If you're not comfortable and instead would rather ask random people online to help you with relationship issues, then what does this say about the strength of your relationship?
77596
I was in your same position, man.  I loved her more than anything and then she left me.  Everything seemed to be going great for the year and a half we were together, then she suddenly dumped me.  A couple weeks later, I found out she had  been cheating on me for about a month.  That was the hardest thing I've ever faced.  Three months later, I still think about it and wonder why she would have ruined the wonderful thing we had.  I know in my heart that I could never take her back (as tempted as I would feel), because I would never be able to trust her the way I once did.  Talk to other people, girls especially, and try to keep your mind off of her.  She'll still haunt you in your dreams though, no way to stop that.It gets better with time.