I have this friend who I have known him for 6 years, and we are really close pals, but the main problem is that he is strangely popular amongst everyone (friends and strangers) just coz he is fat, and I envy him coz I usually get ignored by people when he's around, especially if I introduce him to my new friends, then they suddenly have more interest on him than me, which really pisses me off! How can I make this seem positive to me? I need help coz this is haunting me for over 3 years!
217991
Hmmm... well first of all think about why you like him? could that be the reason other people like him too? \nMaybe it has nothing to do with him being fat, normally and sadly to say, being fat is a disadvantage to people, but perhaps because he is fat people don't see him as a threat.\ninstead of feeling pissed off about it you should realise you must have really good taste in friends if everyone likes him. It would be worse to have a friend that no one wanted around. \nAlso when people meet someone new for the first time,they tend to make more of an effort to make the person feel welcomed into the group and that is why they will talk to him more as they already know you . \nPerhaps he is funny and kind and is interested in other people and not just himself. Also if you are getting pissed off this will manifest itself and you might come across as cold or moody and that doesn't attract people. \nJust try and relax about it, be happy to have this person as a friend and try to focus on the good things about him and not just this one thing,\n \nIn life, if we have a belief about something we tend to look for confirmation of our beliefs...you believe your friends ignore you when your other friend is around so you constantly look for confirmation and signs to reaffirm what you believe....you will find it. If you change what confirmation you are looking for ( such as, my friends are really comfortable with me and like me) you will find that also...focus on the positive not the negative...it is getting you no where.\nhope this helps but you have to work at it.\n\nps: if you do as WELZENN suggested and make fun of him it will make you look dislikable and jealous and he doesn't deserve to be made fun of. that is not the way to treat a friend.
473210
Sounds like you have a good heart and an open mind. My advice is to just let it go. A person like you will have no trouble making more friends, and maybe these two will grow up a little and it'll work out. Don't worry about it in the meantime. Just look on the bright side, you know you're a good friend no matter what.
550536
well one way to find new friends is try to come up with things you have in common with this person or you could just go up to them and say what you feel to this person because then you and this person will feel better and who knows he may feel the same way...BEST OF LUCK!!!
189035
If they are really your friends then they won't get mad/jealous of your other friends.  Some people are insecure with themselves, and get upset when all the attention is not focused on them.  You do not want friends like that. You want friends that are there for you, understand you, and love you no matter what.
167408
sometimes you got to be very social. you have to be everyone elses favorite person and soon he/she will realize your not to bad. in fact you're realy good. don't worry about him for now just leave him alone and get back to him when everyone or most everyone else like you.\nhope this helps i've had to do it to
647669
Well, i had a friend with your very deliema. Basically, you relize something, and thats the guys who are going to notice you for your personality aren't going to notice your body nearly as much. More or less, you have to speak up more, seem smart, get involved in common little debates that make you seem smart, and get the word around you exist. Sooner or later someone will come along, but remember, theres going to be more body lovers than personilty
294630
After looking at your other questions, answers and myspace page I can understand why he doesn't want you around. \n\nYour "self esteem issues" about being fat come across as being very fake and a "look at me! look at me!" tactic. \n\nYour constant comments about being pretty come off as being desperate for attention.\n\nYour only real supporting evidence for being a "perfect" friend is having good grades, being pretty, and dressing in preppy clothing.\n\nLastly, the biggest thing (which I'm betting is his main reason for separating you from is daughter) is your attitude towards black people. You are without a doubt, a racist.\n\nYou come across as being fake, arrogant, insincere, and racist. No wonder he's booted you out of their life! If you want to remain friends with her, you're really going to need a complete attitude make-over.\n\nOften times, the people with the worst behavior are seen as representing their entire race. You need only ask a European what he thinks of americans and you'll see what I mean. We all get labeled because of people like you.
104122
I think your instinct is totally on. Let sleeping dogs lie. Now, how do we stop the propaganda that happened years ago? You have to prove to these people and show them the real you. Your peers must be part elephant, for them to remember and hang on to, 2 year old gossip! Are you sure that someone isn't keeping the gossip alive by some chance? That may be your problem. Any how, talk is cheap. Action speak louder than words. When you go to school Monday, you raise your head high, brush your pearly whites and smile. Make eye contact and start saying hi. If the chance presents itself, do favors or small tasks that could help them out. Waiting this long to try to correct a problem has put you in a bad position. But not a permanent position. Following this simple guide line, you will be alright. As far as your friend, the next time something like this happens, talk to her right away. It sounds like to me, she could be jealous of you, and want you to be her friend alone. But you can change that too. Just include her in with the things you and your new friends will be doing. Now its all left up to you, to take charge and end this once and for all. You go Girrrl.........!
530402
One thing I've learned through the years that what you and your friends feel is cool now, won't be when you grow up.  Who cares what other people think.  You should give it a try and see what happens.  If they were such good friends, they would want you to be happy.  Who else knows but you?
647618
Hey, that sounds almost exactly like me.  But i've learned to live with myself and be happy.  I'm always the one sitting alone at luch, but you know what? I've actually come to like it. Maybe i'm weird, i don't know.  But i would rather have one or two really close friends. You always know where you stand with them, unlike having masses of people who call themselves your friends because your popular, then bail when you need someone the most. You never know if you can trust any of them.  To me, being a loser is cooler then being popular.  I'd hang out with you before i would the popular kids.
359319
me also before i had this same problem.only thing you have to make so many friends.and choose a good friend from there.share everything with her/him.you will be strong.\nokay.
79466
be who you are. don't change who you are to become popular, then you'll have all of the friends who only liked you because of how you look or something. if they only like you because your popular.. who would ever want friends like that. also you'll be changing who you are for others. son't change. if you're not popular, then be friends with people who don't care what you look like or what you believe. those will be the good friends you'll be glad you have. one person who likes you for you is better a bunch of friends who like you for who your not
448946
Your ex-friend sounds like a real B-word (lol) Be yourself and if people dont like you then forget them. Dont change yourself to fit in with other people EVER. You will make friends eventually, dont worry about it. dont be needy. Good Luck!!
244757
the populare people usually switch friends and stuff since of all the drama\nyou dont need to worry about being popular \nbeing popular isnt a big deal at my school and no one cares about the "popular ones" just be friendly to everyone even if they are mean to you and dont deserve it OF COURSE YOU WILL MAKE FRIENDS
288481
Wow...you must popular.  No matter what you say, it's going to hurt.  Just be nice and say "you are cool and all, but let's be friends!".  Then never call them.
34759
well, there is something you have to learn in life, and it might as well start now. there will be people like this.\nYou need to accept it.\nAs for solutions, when she brags make it your thing to build her up more. she sounds insecure, so if she is bragging about being so popular, tell her that you think its great that she gets along well with so many different people. If she is looking to you for affirmation of her awesomeness, give it to her and she can move on.\nHow does she embarass you?
562609
yes you should see a counselor to seek more information and help with this situation. it sounds like you are attracted to being popular more than being attracted to him because despite his disrespect towards you, you choose to stay around because of the popularity you've gained. it's important to look at this situation and decide which you value more. respect from him or the popularity amongst peers. i understand the importance of being 'accepted' but it shouldn't dictate your values because you are the one who decides what you will do with your life and not someone else.