i want some really funny blonde jokes, that are long?
202096
A Blonde went into a Department Store. To buy her boyfriend a Birthday Present. She walked up to the clerk. And said i want to buy this TV , its my boyfriends Birthday. The clerk told her to leave, get out of the store. so couple of hours later. she comes up and says to the same clerk. i would like to buy this TV. The clerk said i told you to leave the store. and not come back. so the blonde leaves. and returns wearing a wig. and tells the clerk she wants to buy this TV. The clerk said i told you to leave this store and not to come back. And the blonde got pissed and asked him how did he know it was me. the clerk told her well for one that's not a TV its a micro wave oven
158636
i heard that joke before-its funny- heres another:\nThree blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the Pearly Gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one\nsimple question. \n\nSt. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and is thankful..." \n\n"Wrong!, You must go to HELL" replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?" \n\nThe second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents and celebrate the birth of Jesus." St. Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head in disgust on the Pearly Gates, tells her she's wrong and to go to HELL, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?" \n\nThe third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously.\n\n"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." \n\nSt. Peter smiles broadly with delight. The third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."
392941
some funny ones herehttp://www.boredtodeath.co.uk/videos.php   or herehttp://www.yikers.com/pranks_funny_videos.html
86234
TRY THESE...\n\n1\n\nA bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in comes four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"\n\n\n\nSoon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices join in raising the roof, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"\n\n\n\nFinally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"\n\n\n\nThe bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautiful child's puzzle of the cookie monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"\n\n\n\nThe blonde who brought in the picture pipes up, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2 - 4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"\n\n\n2\n\nA blonde was driving down the motorway when her mobile phone rang .It was her\nhusband, urgently warning her: "Honey, I just heard on the news that there's\na car going the wrong way on the M25. Please be careful!" "It's not just one\ncar!" said the blonde, "There's f***ing hundreds of them!"\n\n\n3\n\nA blond gets tired of it all and dyes her hair. She's now a brunette and feels *much* smarter. Everyone tells her she's smarter. So she goes for a drive in the country one day and stops in a lane which is blocked by a herd of sheep. She gets out, talks to the farmer and says, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?"\n\n\n\nHe looks perplexed but says, "Sure."\n\n\n\nSo she says, " Uh....157?"\n\n\n\nHe says, "My God, that's correct. Take a sheep. "\n\n\n\nSo she wanders among the herd. She likes this one and that one and finally is very attracted to one that wags its tail and likes her. She picks it up and puts in it the car.\n\n\n\nThe farmer says, "Can I make a deal with you?"\n\n\n\n"Sure, " says she.\n\n\n\nHe says, "If I can guess what color your hair really is,\n\ncan I have my dog back?"\n\n\n4\n\nA man entered the bus, with his pockets full of golf balls and sat down next\nto a blond. The blond kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging\npockets.\n\nFinally, after many such glances from her he said, "It's golf balls."\n\nThe blond continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally asked, "Does it\nhurt as much as tennis elbow?"\n\n\n5\n\nA blonde is roller-skating down the board-walk one day. She's just skating along in her lycra pants, smiling at everyone, listening to her Walkman. \n\nShe decides that she really needs a haircut. She skates into the first salon she sees and goes up to the hairdresser and says, "I need a haircut." The hairdresser checks her out and says, "OK, sit down and take off your headphones." "No way!" shouts the blonde, "If I take off my headphones, I'll die!" "Then I can't give you a haircut," replies the hairdresser. \n\nSo the blonde gets up and leaves and skates further down the board-walk. She sees another salon, goes in, and says to the hairdresser, "I need a haircut... but you can't take off my headphones or I'll die!"
604596
please pardon me but, \n\nhow do you drown a blonde?\n\nput a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
253499
Thats a good one!!! A cute clean joke!!!! Keep em coming!!!
32862
a blonde is driving down the highway in her car. she sees another blonde in the field next to the highway, rowing aa boat. she gets out of her car and says to the blonde in the boat, "what are you doing out there in a boat?"\nand the other blonde says, "this is like, a sea of wheat, duh." and the blonde by her car says, "it's blondes like you that make blondes like me look so stupid. i would go out there and kick your butt right now, but i can't swim."\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - \n a blonde and a brunette are on top of a building. if they both jump off, which one will hit the ground first?\n\n\nthe brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -\n  the pope told 3 nuns to go out and commit a sin. the first nun goes out and steals a car. she comes back to the pope and says, " i stole a car." the pope says, " drink from the holy water and you will be cleansed." so the nun drinks from the holy water and she dies. then the second nun comes back and says, "i robbed a bank." the pope says, "drink from the holy water and you will be cleansed." so she drinks from the holy water, and she dies. then, the 3rd nun comes back and says, " i poisoned the holy water."\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
363354
haha that is hilarious\nwhats the diffference betwween a blonde and a brick\na brick only gets laid once
194896
The best black humor is Blonde Jokes ...\n\nBLONDE TERMINOLOGY BLONDE JOKES\n \n \nAnally -- occurring yearly \nArtery -- study of paintings \nBacteria -- back door of cafeteria \nBarium -- what doctors do when treatment fails \nBowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U \nCaesarian section -- district in Rome \nCat scan -- searching for kitty \nCauterize -- Made eye contact with her \nColic -- sheep dog \nComa -- a punctuation mark \nCongenital -- friendly \nD&C -- where Washington is \nDiarrhea -- journal of daily events \nDilate -- to live long \nEnema -- not a friend \nFester -- quicker \nFibula -- a small lie \nGenital -- non-Jewish \nG.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game \nGrippe -- suitcase \nHangnail -- coat hook \nImpotent -- distinguished, well known \nIntense pain -- torture in a teepee \nLabour pain -- got hurt at work \nMedical staff -- doctor's cane \nMorbid -- higher offer \nNitrate -- cheaper than day rate \nNode -- was aware of \nOutpatient -- person who had fainted \nPap smear -- fatherhood test \nPelvis -- cousin of Elvis \nPost operative -- letter carrier \nProtein -- favouring young people \nRectum -- damn near killed 'em \nRecovery room -- place to do upholstery \nRheumatic -- amorous \nScar -- rolled tobacco leaf \nSecretion -- hiding anything \nSeizure -- Roman emperor \nSerology -- study of knighthood \nTablet -- small tablet \nTerminal Illness -- sickness at airport \nTibia -- country in North Africa \nTumor -- an extra pair \nUrine -- opposite of you're out \nVaricose -- located nearby \nVein -- conceited
158673
hmm i haven't been on here for a long time but you may wanna try jokes.com?\nor www.bored.com
508639
LMFAO great jokes!!! Love your sense of humor it is wonderful!!
649688
its a long blonde joke..\n\ntwo brunettes and a blonde are running from three cops. they gain to about a mile ahead & the only thing in site is an abandoned barn. the first brunette says lets hide here, theres no where else to go. so all three of them go in there. there is nothing in the barn but some old burlap sacks & the brunette goes, lets hide in here.\n\nsoon after the cops come into the abandoned barn to find nothing but burlap sacs. the first cop goes, there is nothing in here but burlap sacks, i don't think they are in here. so as he exits he kicks the first burlap sack & the first brunette goes "meow" the cop says, see its only a cat.\n\nthe second cop says, yeah your right they arent in here. so he kicks the second burlap sack & the second brunette goes "ruff" & the cop goes, nothing but a dog.\n\nthe third cop says what in here? and he sees the third burlap sack moving around. he uses his flashlight to see inside of it & he kicks it, and hears the blonde yell " POTATOES!"
355501
here's a good one that isn't too short. \n\nA blonde and a brunette are watching the news, where a man is going to jump off a building. The brunette says "I betcha 10 euro that he'll jump". The blonde says "I betcha 10 euro that he won't". So they accept. \nThen the man jumps. The blonde starts to give the brunette the money when the brunette says "I can't take your money, i saw this on the 5 'o' clock news already". The blonde says "Yeah, I saw it too, I just didn't think he'd jump again"!!
646900
These were sent to me in an email one time.\n\n\n********************************************************************\nA blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. \nHer boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"\n\nThe blond replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."\n\nThe boss feeling very sorry for her says "Why don't you go home for the day. We aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."\n\n"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." \n\nThe boss agrees and allows the blond to work as usual. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blond. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying. \n\n"What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks.\n\n"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that her mom died too!"\n\n************************************************************\nDid you hear about the two blondes that froze to death in a drive-in movie?\n\nThey went to see "Closed for the Winter."\n\n************************************************************\nWhy did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? \n\nShe heard that 1 out of every 4 children born in the world was Chinese.\n\n************************************************************\nA blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. \n\n"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.\n\n"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. \n\n"What?"sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"\n\n"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest." \n\n"So then?" asked the doctor.\n\n"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." \n\n"So then?"\n\n"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."\n\n************************************************************\nDid you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? \nThere was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.\n\n************************************************************\nA blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. \n\n"Look, said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses." \n\n"I know,"agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames.\n\n************************************************************\nA blonde was shopping at a Target store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.\n \nThe clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos. It keeps things hot and some things cold." \n\n"Wow!", said the blonde, "That's amazing, I'm going to buy it!" \n\nSo she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk.\n\n"What's that," he asked? \n\n"Why, that's a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things co
521918
That was too funny!!  I also am a blonde.  However, I am confident in my own intelligence level to appreciate a dumb blonde joke.  I find them quite entertaining!!!
275040
I like the jokes... but I can only take about 15 minutes of people yelling at me.. calling me retarded or talk spanglish.. \n\nits funny.. in moderation\n\nChris Rock would be the funniest of those you mentioned
211077
lol heir are some blonde jokes ok\n\nQ: Why did the blonde have square tits? \n                              A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes. \n\nQ: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?\n                              A: Gifted! \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?\n                              A: Shine a flashlight in their ear\n\nQ: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?\n                              A: Nothing. They've never met because they are always apart.\n\nQ: Why is a blonde like a door knob?\n                              A: Because everybody gets a turn. \n\nØ