Im really down and out here today, i met my ex in a nightclub Saturday night and we kissed etc, spent the time there in each others company, told me he was still attracted to me etc. Anyhow he came back to stay at mine (we didnt have sex or anything, we never had gone that far even when we were going out) just slept and kissed and he went the following morning. Im just feeling really down today about it, as i think i still have some feelings for him. At the same time im probably angry with myself too as I gave in to kissing him etc...I know I wont hear from him again for a week or a few weeks..he was still texting me once a week or so, last saturday night was the first time we had met since we split last summer....i know he could have been with some other girl saturday night but he seemed to choose me...im just really mixed up and i really want to text him to ask him if we are ever going anywhere again? how can i remain strong enough to carry out like nothing happened?
207207
It's time to move on sweetie.  He's just keeping you around as a back-up.
78046
It doesn't sound to me like you ever wanted in the relationship to begin with. Your first feeling is usually the right one. So i would just contact him and tell him that you understand that the relationship is over and that it is probably for the best, but you would like to try to go back to the way things were before you started dating. It is not possible for some people but for a select few it works. Besides you said the sex wasn't great anyway and that is the only difference between a relationship and a friendship.
493338
I think it is too soon for you both to be in contact with eachother as you say it's too painful right now.  The best thing to do for the moment, until you get your own head sorted is cut all ties.  I know it might be hard but you need to straighten your own head and heart out first and be strong enough before you can be friends with him.  You are not in the right frame of mind now, it is too soon since you broke up, and staying in contact might only cause more pain.  I broke up with my ex in June and we haven't been in touch since.  I know at the start it was very hard as I went from hearing from him everyday to nothing but, now I'm a lot stronger.  I'm happier now that it's over as we weren't right for eachother but if I stayed in contact with him I know I'd probably be still hurting and in the same situation right now.  Time is a great healer and WILL make you stronger.  Just give yourself some "you" time.  Hope it works out for you!
114298
she was probably confused.  thinking what is she doing and then feeling guilty.  maybe she wasn't over him yet.  it took me 5 years to get over my ex.  this kinda stuff doesn't happen over night dood.  dont take offense.  just try to be a good friend and supportive. good luck!
226045
With time, I think there is a good possibility that the two of you will get back together. To find somebody that you enjoy being around, and that you find interesting , is RARE! He obviously enjoyed it as much as you did, so why wouldn't he be back? It's soon for him I know, but just give him time. It's okay to call and see how he is, just don't push(hard to do I know). If the two of you connected, and I believe you did,  just be patient. He'll be back!
18393
Honey I'm not sure what to tell ya.  Don't give up on him.  Do you have anyway to contact him?  You should tell him how you feel.  I don't know why he hasn't talked to you in a month.  That concerns me a little.  Like I said, don't think bad, think good.  Hope things work out for you.
188705
i think you wanting more with him then he wants. you both on different pages. i dont feel he is interested in you though he may have given you those type of signals on the weekend you spent together. try talking to him and telling him how you feel, if he doesnt feel the same then move on and dont waste your time with him.
582583
First, I respect your courage for writing here, but I would take the most serious advice from those who know you best... those closest to you. There aren't enough details in your story for anyone but those who know you to give you good advice, but a lot of people have similar feelings. When I was single I always pined for my ex's... the bad times didn't register and all I remembered was the good times. This doesn't mean that they didn't happen and that what drove me from my now ex's wasn't real. We did break up for a reason, and our incompatibility was something to be considered. No matter what you do, even if you did get back together, you can't relive a memory. This isn't to say you shouldn't talk to your ex or figure out what you're feeling, but I'd say take your time with it. If the feeling is really real, if the relationship is meant to be, then it's worth waiting for. A lot of times things seem good at the time, but if we waited, we lose interest or realize what a bad decision it was. Even so, you have a fractured relationship, and it's going to take a lot of care and thought to bring it together... either way, protect your own heart and take your time. Find someone you really trust and talk to them about it and let them speak into you... tell you a no bs assessment of what they can see from the outside. Even if you don't agree with them, it'll get you thinking. I wish you the best with your relationship, whether it's meant to be repaired or not. God bless you,\n\nBrian
616518
I know I'm still in love with my ex - he ended our 2 year relationship very suddenly with an e-mail & I am finished with\ndating, men, relationships, love. He was the last man I ever plan to be involved with - I've had enough.  Good luck with your situation!
412451
I was with my last boyfriend for 3 and a half years when I met my current boyfriend. I knew very quickly that I wanted to be with my current boyfriend, so I had to break my ex's heart to make myself happy. (I've been with my boyfriend now for more than a year) It hurt my ex like hell and I felt terrible doing it, but I knew that I wanted to be with someone else. So I had to do it for myself even though I hurt someone I cared about in the process. Just be careful and tactful in the way you say things. Make sure you don't sound like it's all his fault.
159194
well i was once in that situation . and it was hard i guess what I'm saying is....do what u think is best and if u feel that your going to think about your ex all  night if u go out with that other girl it wont be fun. and i hope u know that time heals everything. maybe going out with the new girl would be fun and maybe your heart wont be so broken. well good luck
630079
well I know how u feel, coz I just got out of 3 years relationship, 6 months ago. He's still in my head, and I think about him sometimes. I tried to date but it doesn't work out, coz I'm not over my ex completely. Here's some suggestion, forget about your ex and move on. But if you can't then don't rush hooking up with some other guy coz it's not fair for ur new guy. Good luck sweetie!
331807
sorry to say but uve made ur bed now u gotta sleep in it.  I done the same thing last year me and my ex were going through a rough patch and i used that as an excuse to cheat i feltbad afterwards but my ex ended up finding out and even though we got back together we were never the same we could never find that spark we had in the beginning so we ended it.  It was very sad but were still friends just wish i hadnt made the mistake
75552
Did he actually meet the other person? If so, what did they do? The severity of his actions should give you a good indication of what you should do. If you feel that his actions were not severe enough to break off the relationship, then don't.  If you feel otherwise, then sever ties. It all depends on how you feel, because we (the answerer's) don't really know the situation you're in and the things you're thinking/feeling. \n\nWorst case scenario? You dump him, realize he was your soul mate, never get back together, get depressed, never date, and die alone.\n\nBest case scenario? You don't dump him, he is eternally grateful, both of you work things out, and you live long and fulfilling lives.\n\nAs you can see, there is quite a bit of swing in the spectrum. If you feel that he deserves a second chance (i.e. he's been faithful [until now], treats you well, is respectful, and didn't go through with the deed, then you might want to give him a second chance.  After all, it seems like he realized his mistake before anything *bad* happened, and both of you can learn and grow stronger from this experience.
245085
Ok this is from personal experience I had with a girl. The thing I'm gonna put my money on is that he's trying to make you jelous because he believes he's run outta options. I hate to be blunt but if your considered a really attractive girl in your school it doesn't matter how goodlooking he is but he may be scared of you, espically of approaching you directly. You also have to think of the way you treated him, you cheated on him, and also you pushed him away when he wanted to talk to him...well now its time to put youself to the test.\nI'm not sure of your age so i'm not sure if you can drive or not, but since your able to still monitor him IE knowing how he acts arond other girls I'm 100% sure he knows this information about his flirting and girl handeling is getting back to you. So you need to choose a night, time, and place and track him down randomly. Talk to him about it, I know the girl I went through with this I did the exact same thing and it would have ment the world to me if she had just tracked me down and come to me to talk about it. You've got to put yourself in his shoes and realize just how much you hurt him, its also possible he wants you to hurt some too since you seem to have been completly unaffected (from his point of view) from the break up. Once you've sat down for awhile and thought this over and you actually understand his pain and the hell you put him through (I know i'm being harsh but it'll help you in the long run) only then will you be ready to talk to him about it and salvage something.\n\nAnd if your not trying to salvage something or you know you'd never be able to handle a serious realtionship with him without cheating its best to just leave this be and go through the pain of losing someone.\n\nHowever from what you've told me about him and how i'm guessing how you feel I think its for the best that you two try and salvage a relationship. At the very least try and follow my advice about trying to put yourself in his shoes and feeling his pain, it'll give you a better perspective on things. \n\nGood luck to the both of you!\n\nFeel free to e-mail me if you need more help
331763
whats with him and ex's?  Youre an ex he's back with, now you're concerned about another ex.  Alarms went off when I read this. You need to be sure you're who he wants before you get hurt.  Give him a chance to be certain what he wants before you invest your heart into this once failed relationship.
68593
it looks to me that you want to text him back, if it's going to make you feel better, then go ahead text him. maybe their are reasons why he didn't or wasn't able to text you and  wasn't able to get back to you that soon, and I guess meeting him up and of course talking in person would answer all the questions that's been humming in your mind for quite some time now. Their is nothing wrong in giving him the benefit of the doubt.