My husband likes to watch porno on tv and the internet, but he doesn't have sex with me. When I confront him about the porno he lies, but I ha ve proof he's doing it? Why wouldn't he be satisfied with his own wife?
200181
First, you must believe that it is not about "you".  It is about him.  His pornography and masturbation have led him to compulsion and addictive behavior.  Pornography can destroy a person's ability to "make love". Some men try to tell their wives that the pornography is "priming" for a conclusion with them, but it is the priming that draws them back again and again, not the conclusion.  Some men say "all guys do it".  No they do not.  Especially when it gets to the point of addiction, and it is effecting the "real" relationship. I have always thought that if you have to hide what you are doing, then you must think it is wrong, or you feel guilty about doing it.  I think you have to treat it like any addiction, and get professional help.  First, the person has to admit there is a problem, and be willing to accept outside help.  Stop blaming yourself, and thinking you are not attractive and don't satisfy him.  It is not about you, it is about his "addiction".
128503
*shakes head* Woman... I would RUN so fast and so FAR in the other direction after packing my kids up!\n\nI dealt with a man for a year - who was addicted to all kinds of porn, tried to get me into working with him for a porn site, had a foot fetish, and the last straw was him watching chicks with d**ks do each other.\n\nIf it was a simple, stupid mistake for your man, then fine - but check the history on the computer for the next 4 weeks. See what the heck else turns up. This is not something that a 'normal' person would find exciting and enticing.\n\nMind you, I'm not against gays, porn, etc... most things are good in moderation  - but I just remember how much pain I went through trying to save my relationship after all the truths came out (after 8 months of being together) and how the last 4 months together were HE**. I'd hate for anyone else to go through that...\n\nGood luck... be well.
34597
As a married man, stay at home dad of 3 children, i can tell you why, but I have never cheated.\n\nYou hit the nail on the head when you said he has children.  The wife is no longer sexually active, her focus is now on the children & the man has become a spare tire in the family, only needed in emergency.  You see, the man is made out to be the bad guy here & he deserves it, but the wife has driven him to this point.  If he has sex, it is once a week at most, if he is lucky & she is like, put it in & get it over with.  When i got married, we used to screw almost everyday, passionately, now it is the lame azz something i dont even call sex.\n\nBesides the above, men are PIGS!\nWell, the simple facts are, men have a high sex drive & have trouble saying no.  I told my wife one time, if some fox came up to me & said i want to blow you, my pants are comin down.  I have never heard of any man turning down head or sex---EVER!  If it has happened, he should be in the guiness book of world records.\n\nAs far as him leaving his wife goes, all a line he is feeding you.  Like when i was in high-school dating my now current wife & banging all the other girls that wanted me to leave my girlfriend/current wife.  I fed them anything that got them into bed, knowing full well, i was not breaking up with my girlfriend.  Now, add to that, he has kids & pays all the bills.  If he leaves her, he loses seeing his kids when he wants to + he loses his house, possibly his car.  Plus, he is gonna lose at least half of his paycheck every month + half of any cash he has saved----NOT GONNA HAPPEN!\n\n\nIf you dont believe me, I want to date you too & I promise, I will leave my wife.
657756
Whats wrong with a little bit of porn? You shouldn't be threatened by it at all! Its a natural thing all guys- and to be honest with you a lot of girls- do. Why not be supportive of it instead. Be more 'hey baby' instead of 'eww porno's'. He's going to masturbate, and look at porn. Its a guy thing, let him do it- maybe even get involved. You know, 'lend' a hand?!
629253
The issue here isn't the porn, it's the sneaking around and the lying about it. That's your real problem.\nIt's only the beginning hon, unless you go get help now.\nMy ex started with magazines, then on to movies, then the Internet. At times he got so engrossed in it that I could walk right up behind him and he wouldn't know I was there. I'm not a prude and would do anything for him then, but yet he was so hooked on porn that I had to go without for 3 -6 weeks at a time. Finally, I was working nights, he was supposed to be home watching our son, who he had exposed to this crap "accidentally" a few times before. He was sitting in the recliner acting all comfy and sleepy. Just as soon as I had left the house he jumped up and ran to a local strip club, leaving our son unattended. After years of promises and trying I finally left him. Don't let that happen to you. Talk to him and then get counseling.\nI just wonder why there are so many women on here that are trying to make it sound like it's the woman's fault? Sad............
101470
Well, there are a couple of reasons I can think of. First, maybe he doesn't feel his wife is treating him well (emotionally or sexually) and what better way to improve the way she treats him that to invoke that monster of jealousy...that usually makes women go overboard with sex and niceties in order to keep her man from straying. The second reason may be that he simply wants to be honest with her...doesn't want her to find out from someone else.
133978
I think that it is cheating as well. Like you I am in the same boat. At first I was very angry and upset and so I asked other people if I was over reacting. The thing that sucks is that every one has their own opinion. I was getting different answers from them all. I say once you have seen one you have seen them all and there is no point to wanting to look elsewhere, otherwise what the heck are they with us for, just a recepticle? I am in a predicament my self but with strip clubs and porn so don't feel all alone. Keep your chin up and try to work on a resolution and compromise. I hope this helps a little to know that you're not alone. Just so you know if you let it continue to bother you it will become a trust and respect issue. So don't badger him to change because it won't work.
612113
OK, so you go to strip clubs together, you buy him porn mags and everything has been ok ? So think about it, Why wouldnt it be ok for him to lookat porn online ? Its ok for him to read it and look at in magazines, so of course he is going to think its ok for him to do it online to. Now realize that this internet porn thing is all new to him, he has been opened up to a whole new world of porn and he is going to continue to look at it every day because there is just sooo much out there. I doubt that he sees it as not having a need to finish with you. Because every man will say the real thing is better than a hand. Im thinking he probably just jerks it so much in one day that when it comes down to doing the real thing he is just to worn out. Maybe just tell him whats on your mind and tell him next time hes looking at porn, to hold off from masturbating all day that way you can get all of the sexual tension released on you later. Basically, you need to talk to him about and see if he notices the change. If he does talk about it together and try to come up with a resolution together. Tell him how its affecting you and as a decent man he will try to help you out as much as possible. Maybe try sitting down with him and looking at the porn together and then when hes ready to jerk it, he will have you instead ?
641356
my wife likes to watch porn with me. I consider myself lucky with that. she likes to watch it more when we are having sex.
13872
It's funny sex and love are two different things. I'm sure he isnt trying to hurt you,but he is insensitive to your feelings. You should tell him what you want...not what you don't want. Part of being satisfied is rolling with what turns your partner on so they are satisfied. It's much easier to get yourself off if your partner is happy. Not to reward him for being selfish, but I would give a good acting job just once to see how he reacts if YOU are the one that is getting off to porn.
507169
Yes, it is too much to ask.  I don't see what having kids, him being on call, how often you have sex, or who you live with having anything to do with it.  You state these things but you don't say how they are relevant to your wish.  You haven't stated any reasons why he should not watch porn.  Now if you're saying that he watches it in front of your kids, masturbates to it as your in-laws walk through, leaves it on when he goes out on a call where just anyone could see it, and doesn't have sex with you more often *because* of porn, then you might have a complaint.  However, you say none of those things.
299339
Not knowing your husband, has there truly been any hostile action on his part to made you think your life is in danger?  Probably not, because when confronted he felt he would kill himself instead of do harm to his family.  It is purely the easy availability of the Internet that has caused so many men (and some women) to be curious.  If not for the Internet, he probably wouldn't have crossed the street to see a picture of a midget, teen, animal or corpse having sex. Men have high sexual curiosity, that was put there by God, as an animal instinct.\nMasturbation is a normal activity of mostly all humans, even those that are married.  That, no doubt, is how he eliminates his sexual curiosity once he is on the Internet.  However, for a man, being horny is one of the most reliable and renewable resources that there is.  How many men in the clergy have been outed for actually acting out on their own sexual curiosities?  How about Bill Clinton, Jesse Jackson, hundreds of priests, ministers and rabbis?\nDon't judge him for being human.  Judge him for taking on the responsibility of you and your three kids from a previous marriage.  He is probably as good a man as they come.
324758
Actually the statements about cheaters is not necessarily true. \n\none question to consider is how much time do you spend with him? is your week so booked you see him only at night before bed or do you make a consious effor to share 15 hours per week alone together. \n\nlike it or not both side in a marriage have 5 basic "NEEDS" if the needs go unmet then one side feels {cheated.}\nwhile just about every one knows men want sex. ( yep it's high on the basic needs list) rarely do people understand the other 4 basic needs they have for emotional stability. \nif your not providing all 5 then a void is open for another person to step in and fill the responsibility that is rightfully yours. the same holds true for men and their wives. \n\nyou can also learn his unique (love language) this is how he interpets (your actions twords him) as love. if he has a quality time ( love language) buying him gifts is not going to convince him that you love him. only time together will do this, \n\nGod Bless
608003
Does your husband watch porn or check out xxx web site?  Do you know if he masturbates?  If the answer is yes to any of the above, then it's not his sex drive that's the problem.  Most likely he's bored with and tired of you.  You've been married a long long time and most guys (whether they admit it or not) get tired of doing the same woman after too many years.  You were 26 when you guys married, and probably a nice young hot chick then.  You're now 50 and perhaps a bit baggy, saggy and old ladyish... you remind him that he too is also an old fart and not that hot young stud he was when he was in his 20s.  How does he feel about you otherwise?  Does he still love you and care about you?  Other than the sex thing how is he as a husband or as a father?  If the other things are positive then maybe his desire for sex or specifically sex with you has waned.  Maybe if he got some strange (not meaning to be crude, just honest) or some young chickie his attitude about sex may change and he may become a new man.
30544
Often men will turn to pornography to meet their emotional or phsyical needs.  They may feel that they cannot be rejected by porn, that they can be young again, that they can fantasize about being sexy.  Men may fantasize about both giving and receiving pleasure through porn (giving pleasure? you ask, well, the actresses are acting like they love what they're doing and men may fantasize about providing that pleasure).\nHowever, adiction to pornography does exist and can be a major issue.\nThe questions are:\n1)Is he addicted?\n2)Is he turning to porn to meet significant unmet needs?\n3)Is it merely a recreation that he enjoys and you do not?\n\nIf the answer is three then you should find a comprimise with him that you can both accept.  If he loved exploring caves and that terrified you, you'd probably work something out. . .\n\nIf it is one or two then you should be evaluating your marriage.  Counseling, practicing non-judgemental communication, and returning emotional and physical love to marriage are always good places to start.
184805
I like to watch porn with my husband to get us started when we have had a tiring day. You can get some ideas from porn but you should run them by your lover before you do anything you see on the screen, lol.
590532
Some men may feel their love life with their spouse is inadequate and therefore masturbate to porn to achieve sexual satisfaction. Or perhaps, they just want to get ideas to spice up their sex life.\nI think porn is good so long as it doesn't take control of the relationship like "Want to have sex?" "No, I would rather look at porn".