My husband asked for a divorce; I don't know what to ask for exactly. Here's the info:\n\nWe have 3 kids and 1 on the way\nHe has had 1 affair that I know of and can prove\nWe own a house together\nNeither of us have alot of money to hire lawyers and go full force in court\nHe's been in the National Guard for 6 years and just signed for 6 more.
208946
-Make him file and pay your attorney's fees.\n-Child support until the kids are out of college.\n-He pays health insurance coverage for the kids, even after he leaves the Guard.\n-You continue to be the beneficiary on any and all current life insurance policies, even after he remarries.\n-1/2 his pension, even after he remarries.\n-The house.  Even is you can't afford to stay there forever, you can sell it, retain the equity yourself and buy something more affordable.\n-Alimony.  You're going to need it to make the mortgage payment and pay for upkeep of the house.\n-The most valuable automobile you own.
293927
if you tell him it will probably cause him to mistrust you. funny thing, if his wife's a good liar he's GOING to believe her. YOU NEED PROOF: something so good that she can't lie her way out. if there are kids involved he will keep the best part of his family in the divorce.  family looks out for one another, it's your duty to find the proof
209873
I am currently a military spouse and if I could do it all over again I would have told my husband to just get a job in his major and not the Army.  The Army takes care of us, they have some great benefits probably the best in the world.  But none of that is worth risking your life for.  I'm not anti-Army, I'm just living the life supporting my husband.  We have a 3 year old, and he just came back from a deployment in Dec and possibly will be leaving again within a month.  Imagine a 3-year old asking for his daddy everyday while he is fighting in a senseless "war".  If you can't, it's pure hell.  I don't recommend military life to anyone unless you are single and times are REALLY hard for you financially.  There are alot of sacrifices you have to make in a military environment.  I have some research for you, go and find out the divorce rate for military servicemen, its beyond the means of high.  I think I just told you the reason why!!
18254
I wouldn't think you have much to worry about. I have spent many years in custody court. Usually fighting for child support. First off, depending on the state, usually the courts like to keep children with their mother unless she is really unfit. Second off, he is living with his parents. Shows he has no way the keep himself let alone 4 kids up. If he really wanted the kids, he would have to have a home for them, with enough bedrooms, and beds, and be real active in their lives, school, church, activities, etc.. Then he would have to show the judge why they shouldn't be with you, EX.. you are unfit, never home, alcohol or drug abuse present, and that the children are in iminent danger staying with you. From what you have said sounds like you have the kids best interest at heart. Trust me, judges have seen and heard it all when it comes to just using the custody hearings to upset the mother. Be calm and tell the truth. It does work! Hope this helps you!
593926
nooooooooooo he has no rights to ask you that and then he is remarried?? tell him to mind his business at home and send your child support payment on time.. that is what.\nthe only thing he needs to know is where to send the money i hope you slapped his ass with child support and i hope he has supervised visitations with the kids if he was abusive...you better talk that over with your lawyer.and do not let him intimidate you you have to be strong and direct with him,good luck honey.
362640
Stop whining...Is life good for you?  If yes, then let it go, it's only been 1 1/2 years.  I could see if you were past 3 or 5 years.  Give the man time.  You have obviously never been through divorce before.  He's gone through it twice!  Do you know what that does to a person?  Give it a rest for a little while and if it's meant to be it will be.
113877
What does your heart tell you...also make sure your in love with him and not just his children or you just may end up being the baby sitter, if when you say he has 3 children, means they live with him.  Also beware of baggage, I don't consider the children baggage, thats part of the package, but the ex is another story...has he been divorced long?  Whats the child care arrangement?  does he pay alimony, child support and need your income?  Other than that if its a family your looking for...I would think he would be sincere in wanting a partner to complete his family.
162495
I'm confused. Divorce was discussed on Saturday. Today is\nMonday. Were you in Divorce Court this morning, finalizing\nthe Decree? Are you a part of that group that says three\ntimes, "I Divorce You", and then you're divorced? You are\nnot divorced yet. Are you? Is this the way it is today?\nSay divorce once and it's over? Are you absolutely sure\nthat you're getting divorced? Could this just be a Fight,\nQuarrel, Spat, Disagreement, Bluff,Etc.?                  \n   Ask yourself, "What kind of man was he Friday, that he\nwould leave on Saturday, (he did leave, right?), after\nvowing eternal togetherness? There's something wrong with\nthis picture. Stop. Think. Can this be real? Don't invite\nreal pain in, if this isn't real. Can this man be the type\nof man that would do this to you? Could he do this to his\nchildren? If he is just that type of man, why would want to\nstay? If all of this is real, you will have to endure the\npain for awhile. How long and how painful, will be of your\nown design. If you have real, loving friends and family, it\nshould be easier. Seek the care of the good people you know.\nBut. Be sure that the sky is really falling, before you\nget yourself all lathered up. This could be a temporary\ncondition brought on by who knows what. It could be that\nyour man is a good man, and he's having troubled thoughts.\nGet professional help if possible. Or seek the wisdom of\nthe wise. God Bless You and your Family.\n  P.S. I kissed my Grandmother good-bye last week, and a\nclose friend Friday. It does get better.
53719
So, he has a conditional residency right now? If he does, and you guys got a divorce before the two years, he loses it. There's a reason they put conditions on it, they want to make sure the marriage was authentic and not just to get his residency. I don't know if there's anything he can do because this is going to look bad in the eyes of the BCIS. BUT you are the U.S. citizen, so it's more likely that the court will grant YOU the custody.
637967
Why, so you can stay married to someone that wants a divorce?  Strange, strange, strange world we live in.  You should file and set the hearings and if she doesn't show up, you get everything.
130268
Three things:\n\n1: I hope you have NOT reproduced.\n\n2. I recommend you get a &*%#$@ good divorce attorney.\n\n3. I'll personally finance your wife's attorney. You are the most discusting MAN I have ever had the misfortune to run across.\n\nYou should count your blessing mister, because your wife must see and love something about you. I fear if you didn't have her you would be alone for a lifetime. If you do not love her, or want to be with her then leave....but DO NOT humiliate her with your screen name and rude, vile, ugliness that you put up for the WHOLE WORLD to see..... You need to learn respect. Didn't your Daddy teach you anything? Or maybe that's the problem....he did! \nAND REMEMBER MEATHEAD......\nWHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND.\n\nAND STOP USING THE EDUCATION SECTIONS TO SPREAD YOUR EVIL POISON....THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE ASKING REAL QUESTIONS!!!
367816
Go on the trip...figure out what u want.....DO NOT GET MARRIED IF you are in any kinda doubt......DIVORCE IS HORRIBLE......\nWhen there is no question in your mind or heart.....Then you are ready.....\nPeace....
116130
I'd say be prepared to do it.  However, you should tell him well before you're ready to do it.  Let him know that you're not happy with this, and let him know what the consequences are going to be.  That'll force him into a decision that he has to make soon anyway.\n\nYou gotta look out for the kids, and if it means leaving your husband for a while (I doubt you're thinking about a full divorce), then that may be what needs to happen to give them stability.
57144
Sorry this is so long, but bear with me.\n\nThe law begins with the premise that you are the father and share in the obligations of your own child's upbringing. What you are asking is to have an exception or an easing of the costs based on need because of financial strain or unfairness due to the inequity of paychecks. Your side will be the one to have to convince and persuade because her side has law. In the end, even a good persuasive argument may not stand if there are no laws with which to draw on in your favor.\n\nLook closely at your side then. I am not trying to attack your side by these questions. I am merely saying that such questions may be asked by the legal decision makers or legal financil aid providers and you need to know your side has the strength to convince. Here are some questions to be prapared on:\n\nIs your limited income due to irresponsibility - Did you have to get a new job because you were fired from your old one? Have you wasted reasonable opportunities to have a better job - For example, do you have a degree and qualifications for a better job but chose a low paying job instead?\n\nWill your income likely grow again in the near future - Eight years ago we moved to a new state and my husband had to begin over again on the payscale. We began that first year on less than 18K, but we moved up quickly to now being quite comfortable by regional average income standards. If you are likely to move up in pay, that will be taken into account especially if you are asking to be excused altogether from the burden of support.\n\nHow much money is needed to raise a child in the location in which this child is being raised - Surely 70K/year would be far in excess of expenses where we live and perhaps where you live. However, if your child is being raise in many of the large cities in the Northeast or California it may take about that much to survive there.\n\nIs the $70K all the income from your wife's side? Has she remarried and has her husband's income too? If so, is that 70K a combined income from her own and her husband's income?\n\nHave you provided more than monetary support? Have you been a father beyond the child support payment? If you have been actively engaged in your child's life you will have a more convincing argument than if you haven't had anything to do with him.\n\nWhat were the conditions leading to divorce? Obviously if divorce occured because she was unfaithful you will have a stronger side than if you were unfaithful or abusive. Some would think that if you messed up in these ways you made your own bed and by paying you are reaping what you have sown.\n\nHaving such information as her being able to afford Cancun while you are barely able to afford groceries is very helpful, but make sure no holes can be poked through it. Did she really use the child support money for that vacation? Was the vacation specifically in the child's interest. It doesn't sound like it, but again it is your side that will have to do the proving not hers.\n\nOK. That is the end of the questions. I hope you understand my motives are just to make you realize that you will be the one with the uphill battle. If you are using an overworked public attorney and she has an elite, smooth talking lawyer your side cannot afford to be unprepared for such questions.\n\nI do feel for you. I want to tell a true story that I feel applies when it comes to grace under unjust circumstances. I know a pastor who lovingly was counciling a man who asked him for help. This guy was having a secret affair with the pastor's wife the whole time that this pastor poured his energies into being a help to him. It all came out when she got pregnant. The pastor wanted to save the marriage in spite of it. Instead, she began lying and demanded a divorce. This poor man lost his pastorate becauset he congregation didn't want a divorced man leading their church. Because he lost that job, he couldn't get full custod
134847
Yes!  Your first priority should be to your kids.  They aren't safe with your husband and you need to get them away now.  Call legal aid or see if you make payments to a lawyer.  Or see if in your state you can file on your own.  Make sure you have proof of whatever accusations you are going to bring up in court.  Document everything, it will help you later on.  Also depending on the ages of the kids, I would ask for supervised visitation due to him still talking to the perp.
135195
I'm not a lawyer but I have 23yrs of law enforcement experience. You really didn't give enough info for me to say. It depends on many factors; such as what were terms of your divorce, why he hasn't been in kids' lives, financial support, his reason for sudden interest and any claims he's making to help him gain custody, any personal problems or negative actions by either of you,etc. Assuming you were awarded custody originally and there were not and are not now any extenuating circumstances that drastically change the original status of his behvior/situation or yours or the children and he basicly just decided he wants custody chances are slim the court would change the managing conservator status you hold unless he can show you to be an unfit mother. He might be able to negotiate visitation rights but doubtful the court would disrupt the children's lives without just cause.
493313
I think Prisons have free divorce help, he needs to ask. If not, the papers are free on line. With no children, and no assets, he should have no problem filing as a low income person in the state, or one of the counties he is incarcerated in. Just needs to check on the computer for prices in each county.