My boyfriend & I have always had a very good sex life. Now a days, We have our foreplay ( where he is erected) but right before he is about to go in me, he loses his erection and gets soft in the matter of 5 seconds..any advice or suggestions of why this could be happening. Im starting to think maybe I am not sexually appetizing to him? He is only 21 so I really dont think he has a physical problem. It really bothers me and makes me feel low. I need to know if any other men go through this issue and what they did to resolve it. I need to be in a happy relationship and not having sex is tearing us apart. I just find it so weird that we used to be extremely sexually active and there was never any issues, and all of a sudden...now he cant even keep it hard enough to actually have sex. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
210972
Believe it or not his age or if he is sexually attracted to you could have absolutely nothing to do with it.  If he recently took any medicine I mean anything, that can have an effect on it and make is erection not last as long.  He also could unconsiously be having some issues.  If a man feels insecure or any sort of problem then they can experience other issues.  Believe it or not women and men both can have problems like this.  The environment you are in, the stress of your day, little things can make a man lose his erection or a women to not remain moist.  See I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 33.  He has that problem sometimes, and I know you may think it is because he is older.  But little things like a stomach ache can influence his performance, if he is tired it can alter it, if we have sex a lot in one day it can just be that one time, and then 20 minutes later he can be fine.  But if you make it a big deal, that can also be a problem, because if he feels insecure about the fact that it even happened the first time, that could be the problem.  If he felt insecure the first time, everytime there after he could be thinking about how he hopes it doesn't happen and then it might happen just because he is thinking about it.  I would just try to work on keeping him going through 4 play first, then once he seems to be completely into it then try sex, but if he goes to lose his erection go right back to 4 play and try to keep him hard, don't just stop because that could make him more insecure.
218100
I think your fiance has a lot of issues that you guys need to work out before you get married. But hold out on him and he will initiate sex soon enough, trust me, you can hold out longer than him.
277020
it sounds like he has excitement when in the bedroom but it's a good thing for you. Just tell him how you like it. but he is the only one who actually knows if he had sex before you or not. I would think that he's been waiting for you and now he has you so he can't help himselve and goes faster and longer. i wish you the best of luck. i think it would be best to get a guys point of view because they would now.
357738
It could be someone else, but not likely because that wouldn't make him half erect or come to quickly.  High stress jobs and health problems usually cause ED and usually viagra fix's the stress parts.  I'm sure someone will suggest that maybe he's gay, but there again, doesn't explain the weak erections.   You are in a tough spot and i'm sorry for ya.  Try to talk to him, as hard as it is going to be to do, and yes his feelings will get hurt most likely, and explain to him your problem.  That he needs to put out a little effort to make sure you get your pleasure too and that you love him, they are other ways for him to please u and his still get his.  If this doesn't work out, best advice is for you to move on and get another boyfriend, cause even though u love him, u are going to be very miserible and will end up falling out of love and cheating.
360343
my balls ache only if my gf turns me on incredibly and after that ... nothing. Then not only my balls, but my stomach as well are aching as hell. It's not that the balls are aching all the time if a boy don't do sex....this is just an excuse. So i'll give you a valuable advice - DO NOT turn on your bf unless you've got any further intentions:)))) But to be easiest to compare it - just imagine how do you feel at the first or second day of your period, although it is not the same but just for the protocol.....
598980
Sounds like he's trying to let you know what's going on...you're not listening.  If he's in good health overall (not overweight, smoker, etc) then it could be due to him holding out for you, preoccupied, stress, etc.  There are a lot of reasons why men lose an erection.  A lot of the time my b/f holds out for me and then when I'm good..he's good with that.  He's held out so long, it goes away.  He's usually ready to go again in 10 mins, though.  The fact that you cheated on him really doesn't help.  He may be picturing you doing some of the things you do with him, with someone else.  He's going to be questioning every new thing you do in bed.  "New tricks?  New man?"  It's all about communication.  Let him know you're concerned and really LISTEN to his responses.  You two will work it out if it's meant to be.  He needs to truly forgive you for your mistake and move on if he wants to make it work...you'll need to bring his trust level back up.  Hope I helped...
372941
No, it is more likely medical than psychological (although it could be either). The first thing he needs to do is go to his doctor, explain the situation, and have a full physical. Men have problems with erections for a number of reasons physically, including diabetes, circulation issues, weight issues, and several other health issues not faced by women. If he is medically OK then you have to address psychological reasons. . . anything from guilt to lack of desire to a bunch of other issues. \n\nMedically there are treatments that are relatively simple.\nPsychological, not as simple. \n\nGood luck.
313703
I'm so happy for you two!  Great job on waiting.  \n\nI know you two have waited for the sex but I'm not sure if you guys have done the all the things that lead up to that point.  There is a lot of fun to be had with foreplay.  Also, keep in mind that he will have an O within minutes of you guys starting your festivities.  Hopefully, he can go the distance and be able to get it back a few more times.  If not, there is no rush!  Having good sex takes patience and willingness to learn and experiment.  Don't forget to talk to each other about what you like and it wouldn't hurt to read some sex tips books together.  (Not a suggestion on how to pass the night but just in general.)\n\nI don't know if you guys are in a hotel or what but I would make sure that some chilly water and a snack with substance is on hand for later.  Also, a friend told me that she wished she had a pretty robe to wear when she came out of the restroom in her lingerie.  Since it was the first time for him to see her in that kind of dress she felt a little awkward crossing the room in such attire.  \n\nIt sounds to me like you already have it covered.  You guys waited so it will be unusually special, the strawberries are tasty and cider is very good (both flavors).  Just the fact that you are planning and being thoughtful covers your side of being romantic.  Make sure that he doesn't rush because the more anxious and rushed you are the less pleasurable it will be for you.  Have fun!
205233
Maybe he has erectile dysfunction and doesn't feel like he can talk to you about it.  Maybe it is a similar issue, why do Women always jump the gun, unless you want it to be over and in that case why would you ask us (Yahoo people).  If you are ready to move then don't try and find every little 'bad' thing about your man, just do it.
306867
Stop worrying about coming and just think about how good it feels.  I am a woman, but I think it is probably about the same.  I have to think about how good it feels even when I don't feel very sensitive.  Think whatever it is you think right before you come and I think it will help.  However, I don't know if you have tried other postions or what, but my hubby loves me to be on my stomach with my legs together and his stradled over mine.  Whenever he's getting too tired to shoot he just flips me on my belly and puts it in and then puts his legs outside mine and is usually off in a minute or two.  I think it works cause I squeeze my muscles together around him, which is only easy to do in this postition.  Best wishes
538908
Sex will be a little harsher, and he may have trouble reaching a climax. But if he had to have it done and you love him, you'll get over it. Try not to let him know how much better it used to be, because he can't get it back, and it'll just make him feel awful. You'll get used to it after a while. \n\nOn the other hand, if he was uncomfortable before because of his medical problem, it should be better for both of you now. WARNING: You must avoid making him get erections until the area is completely healed - probably at least a month. Getting aroused will hurt terribly - so hands off for now!
208909
There's nothing wrong with you.He says he's attracted to you and you do have sex,just not that often.If it bothers you I'd ask him whats going on.Tell him his behavior makes no sense to you, it makes you feel insecure and you need to know why he does this.I'm sure the two of you can work it out..good luck!
626506
It's time for some counseling!  If he won't go, you go!  You need someone to bounce things off and to get good solid objective input from.  \n\nHe may be in a personal slump himself.  If he has very little sex drive and is tired a lot, he might have low testosterone, it is not an uncommon condition.  Suggest he have a complete physical, just to make sure everything is okay, tell him you are concerned about him and want to make sure everything is all right physically.\n\nIt may be he is worried about a lot of things, and doesn't know how to communicate, or doesn't feel he should.  Guys often think they should be strong and keep things to themselves.\n\nWhat I am saying is, it might not be about you at all, though it is definitely affecting you.  And it could be that he doesn't like you bringing up the subject, so he pulls more into himself, and goes to the TV and computer to avoid interaction.\n\nI feel for you, I know this is a very difficult situation.  Don't just let it go on!  Get some outside help, at least to vent, and possibly to help the two of you communicate better.\n\nBest of luck to you!!
585885
It sounds like your man has low testosterone. This is very common for a guy his age. He can get a blood test by his doctor to see if he suffers from low test. This can be caused by lack of exercise, bad diet, overweight, lazy, and just age. He could try over the counter natural formulas to get him back in the saddle again like enzyte. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Many young people in their upper 20s are going through the same thing now days. I would get him started with finding out what is causing the lack of wanting sex before trying to get new positions established.
497353
when me and my guy got 2gether im a woman by the way we loved each other instanly but whenever we got intimate he couldnt reach full erection yet if we were messing about thered be no trouble but that carried on 4 a while until we told each other how we both felt wed never shared our feelings with 1another, but soon after that its like he never had erection problems, strange hey he told me after that he was unsure about his size and didnt think he was man enough 4 me, (hed kill me if he knew i was telling people this) but then when i convinced him and showed him hes more than enough 4 me he got over it 1year later and weve got a brilliant sex life but now weve got more of lifes other problems, ha\nhope this helps\ntake care\nx x x x
87498
It sounds like he's just really afraid of getting hurt.  I wouldn't say your relationship is only sex though, you've had some great deep coversations and have been friends for a long time.  I definately think there is the potential for a good relationship here.  The only thing is, he needs to be on board.  Don't try to force a relationship if he's not ready.  Talk to him about it, and try to gain his trust.  Sometimes when someone has closed themselves off for that long, they have a hard time opening up again.
42504
Don't worry honey. I know it's not a nice prob2 have but it's not serious. Sometimes it could be stress or distractions.\nDon't let him drink or at least limit it b4 sex as that makes it hard 2 keep it up. encourage him,never let him feel pressured but seek for ways to enjoy yourselves in foreplay and sex. It may take time and patience but this is temporary. as for his age, it doesn't affect it. Some suggest having sex in different surroundings.\nWhen my boyfriend had that problem  i asked a friend of mine(male) to advise me but he said it was stress and so my boyfriend and i switched to early morning sex b4 he would be thinking about problems at work or other things. after a month, he was fine.\nGuys most of all need to know that you think they are the best and sexy. When their confidence is up, they are more likely to stay up. \nso just keep at it, build his faith, don't pressure and have fun. Also try new things.\na practical tip is after or b4 the bj, put his hand on top of urs and let him guide u in how he likes a hand job. This is a real turn on and he will know how to do that.