I split from my ex nearly five months ago an have only seen him twice since then an still think about him all the time whats wrong with me?  I know I still love him but I dont want him back so why do I keep thinking about him? He wants me to meet up with him again soon should I go? Not for sex just for a chat an maybe a kiss but no further.
216420
You must accept that it's over before you can begin to heal.  Forget about them and move on - you are in control of your thoughts.  Challenge your thoughts... which will change your mood, feelings, and behaviour.  But, you'll have to do it over and over again until it sticks.
179110
STOP THINKING ABOUT HER AND HONESTLY SPEAKING U MAY NOT BE READY TO SEE SOMEONE AT THE MOMENT BUT SINCE ITS BEEN 5 MONTHS I WOULD RECOMMEND YOU ATLEAST START TALKING TO SOMEONE THAT REALLY HELPS.GO OUT MORE OFTEN DO THING YOU LIKE TO DO.I KNOW ITS NOT EASY TO GET OVER SOMEONE THAT FAST BUT TIME HEELZ EVERY WOUND.
331763
whats with him and ex's?  Youre an ex he's back with, now you're concerned about another ex.  Alarms went off when I read this. You need to be sure you're who he wants before you get hurt.  Give him a chance to be certain what he wants before you invest your heart into this once failed relationship.
573951
He is taking advantage of his freedom and figuring things out.  Stop stressing about him and enjoy the other things you have in your life.  Not that that's easy though... There is always the chance that he might come back... but why do you want to be with a guy who broke up with you?  So that he can do it again later on down the road?  I think you should work on moving on... don't wait around for a guy that is probably sleeping around right now.
348093
I have felt like this so many times!  It sounds like you guys are spending too much time together. Maybe spending less time together would help.  So when you are apart you miss him and then it seems like a treat to get to see him.  Then when you finally get to see him it will be exciting.  If this feeling continues maybe you should think about the fact that maybe you really don't miss him, you just miss having someone around.
572709
Wow, your situation sounds like mine!! My ex was older than me and he got over me way too soon. I wasn't ready to see him with his new girlfriend and i got upset. After being in a situation like yours, i think you should move on. It will be hard and the feeling of love with still be there, but i would forget him and just move on. You never know what is out there unless you go for it and forget about your past!! It sounds hard and you may not want to do it.. but seriously get over him and give yourself some time to heal before finding someone else. Don't just jump into a new relationship either. Really deal with the situation and make sure you're feelings are gone before getting with someone else!! Good luck :)
141767
take your time to heal. Don't call him. If you feel the urge to call him take it 1 day at a time( like an addiction). Occupy your time with something else. If you are sitting around and not doing anything you will start to think about him. It is good that you ended it now, because if you would have waited it would hurt more than now. Tell yourself that it is over and you two will never be together again. Look at breaking up like this; you are now one step closer to finding the one you are meant to be with.
441713
I've been in love actually i'm still in love with my ex.  I write her everyday and we talk every day but she tells me that she can not be with me becuase she needs time to heal from when i broke her heart.  So i'm giving her time.  All the time she needs.  I know that in the end it will work out because we both love each other.  It sounds like you have it just as bad as i do so i say you don't let go and you keep talking to each other and anychance you get to go see her, do it.  Eventually there will be a path created for you two to be together.
163429
First off, did you all of a sudden realize the current relationship was unhappy only when your new savior arrived? Or was it already crumbling? If the former is the case, then the fact is you're looking for something new and need a copout. But if the relationship you had was already on its way out, then let that fall completely out and see how the new thing goes. I warn that this may just become a quick fling. Infatuation in rebound over a long-term relationship occurs extremely frequently. But if that's what must be, then let it be. Just understand that you're probably not on the way to a new romance with the sitter's brother, but rather a stepping stone on the way to recovery with the soon-to-be-ex. I hope that if you take this course of action, you do not end up regretting it and realizing you had it so good with the ex and now it's too late because an impulse got you to think you found something that just wasn't there with an old flame.
582583
First, I respect your courage for writing here, but I would take the most serious advice from those who know you best... those closest to you. There aren't enough details in your story for anyone but those who know you to give you good advice, but a lot of people have similar feelings. When I was single I always pined for my ex's... the bad times didn't register and all I remembered was the good times. This doesn't mean that they didn't happen and that what drove me from my now ex's wasn't real. We did break up for a reason, and our incompatibility was something to be considered. No matter what you do, even if you did get back together, you can't relive a memory. This isn't to say you shouldn't talk to your ex or figure out what you're feeling, but I'd say take your time with it. If the feeling is really real, if the relationship is meant to be, then it's worth waiting for. A lot of times things seem good at the time, but if we waited, we lose interest or realize what a bad decision it was. Even so, you have a fractured relationship, and it's going to take a lot of care and thought to bring it together... either way, protect your own heart and take your time. Find someone you really trust and talk to them about it and let them speak into you... tell you a no bs assessment of what they can see from the outside. Even if you don't agree with them, it'll get you thinking. I wish you the best with your relationship, whether it's meant to be repaired or not. God bless you,\n\nBrian
582031
Let your boyfriend go regardless if you're in love with another man or not.  Nothing hurts worse than being in love with someone and them not loving you back (believe me, I know!).  It's sounds like your ex hasn't been trying to look YOU up, so why bother?  I'm still in love with my "first love" but all I do is hope he's happy and in a place where he wants to be.  I've been married to someone else for over 12 years now, have 3 kids and love my husband.  You may just want to let both go and be by yourself for awhile...think about what type of person you want to be and not who you want to be with.
90003
I sometimes still think of my first love.  They will never leave that piece of  your heart, it is ok to think of him, as long as you don't act on it.  Everyone thinks of past loves.  It is totally normal.
497672
While it sounds like you once had a lasting relationship with this long term guy, it is obvious that things weren't working for him when he was close to you.  He left you because he didn't want to be with you, nothing more, nothing less.  \n\nAs a guy I know when we look to come back, we all come up with so many excuses as to why we left, how much we now know and understand, how foolish we are, and how much we miss you.  Bla, bla, bla!  \n\nBottom line is if he is smart, he knows how emotionally attached you are/were and is playing it in his favor because he is lonely or that his reason for leaving you (if it was for another girl) isn't working out in his favor (sex only takes a relationship so far). An instant fix is to get back with you until he recalls why he left, gets his booty call from you, or until something better comes along.  \n\nYou are safe with him, but because he left once, it would be a very safe bet he would take off again once his old feelings or someone hotter comes around.  Believe me, if you go back with him, it will happen again.  You would be wasting your time.  Move on!  Holiday season doesn't help with emotional stuff like this.  \n\nKeep in mind, HE LEFT YOU...you owe him nothing not even a second chance.  He should have thought about that when you were asking him to come back before you became involved again.  As a guy, it is tempting to want/take something you feel you can't have.  In a sick way, your sityation offers a challenge for him to see if he can get you back one more time (ego thing) and be better/win over the new guy.\n\nSounds to me like you are very young, (under 25) and got involved with someone new before you got closure with the old guy.  Just as the guy who left you, you are doing a disservice to your new "love" if you even consider being torn.  How would you feel if he was dragging an old flame into your relationship?  \n\nIt seems like you have a real issue of being alone.\n\nIf it was me, I would break up with both or stay with the new guy, but in the future, take 4-6 months off before you get emotionally involved with anyone else.  Today, neither one of them seem to be that special (seems to me like you are carrying emotions for both and have made things complicated for everyone).  If I was dating you and I found out I was only as important to you as a guy who by choice dumped you on your ass, I would be so checkling out!\n\nDo some healing/reading on divorce/relationship recovery and always remember and learn from what your prior boyfriend did to you.  Follow and recall his past and current actions not his words (that stuff is easy).
55834
Firstly, I personally believe you can never completely stop loving someone if you truely loved them once. So yes, in my opinion it is possible for you to get some of your old feelings back when you meet your ex again. I guess if that happens, then you have to weigh up your options and decide what is best for you and what direction to take.
18393
Honey I'm not sure what to tell ya.  Don't give up on him.  Do you have anyway to contact him?  You should tell him how you feel.  I don't know why he hasn't talked to you in a month.  That concerns me a little.  Like I said, don't think bad, think good.  Hope things work out for you.
25605
Sometomes when we give up something we're used to having around, it's rough. Your ex was a habit to you, and although you may never be in love with him again, you are wanting another relationship, or at least someone else to love. Plus you probably still really like him (as a person), and you're confusing that for love, when really you're just sorting your feelings out right now.
80924
To me if the break-up was that bad, you wouldn't even be this close to getting the option of getting back together. Anything is possible and in almost 2 years people change a lot. What's so wrong with getting to know who you are now? Don't think of it as getting back together. If you didn't have a past with him, would you still want to get to know this guy right now?