My children and I are estranged, but I want to see my grandchildren.
205488
Personally, as a parent, I think they are a bad idea. \n\nI do not know your situation, but if there was a reason I was estranged from my parents, its probably enough of a reason that I would not want my children around them either.  My child is mine to care for and raise, and I should not be forced to let him visit with people I do not want him visiting with.  Not to mention the complications it would bring for all the partied involved because of the feeling between you and your children.\n\nAlso, my son has a deadbeat father who is not a part if his life. He does not know his biological father and never will.  Should the court be able to force me to allow tha parents of his deadbeat father to visit him?  Then I have to explain who those people are and why his father is not around...\n\nBUT, I don't have grandchildren, so I can't give you an opinion from that perspective.
569309
Do you want contact with your children? Then you need to step up and fight for them. California is pretty fair when it comes to dads. Your children have legal rights to have contact with you. Unless you are found unfit for some reason.  Do you have a court order? You need to find an attorney within the jurisdiction from the lastest court order. Good luck and you really need fight for this. Your kids need to have contact with their father, it may scar them for life you don't want them to think you abandoned them do you?
496103
I would explain to them both that it is unfair to put you and the children in the middle.  They are both grown men who should be able to talk it out and it not try to keep it their problem not yours.  You know what I mean
118273
You both need to sit down and talk with them. Let them know what your boundaries for this are. They have to let you go at some point. And if you don't talk to them it'll make it harder. Tell them to look at it from your point of view. It's not like you'll never see them again right? You will still be close enough to visit and see still. If they can't accept that then they are not being fair to you. You will adjust to your surroundings if you truly want to be there. It's all a part of growing up. Moving on and getting used to new things.
256006
I don't think anything much, really. Your love is the best thing you can give them. Just make sure that you make them feel accepted; sometimes, older people are afraid that younger people consider them as inferior and therefore tend to take everything more personally. So treat them like the normal people they are. Remember that they were once babies, once kids, once teenagers, once young adults... So don't try being all "what can I do for you? Don't do that, you'll hurt yourself" and stuff like many people tend to do. I know that comes from a good intention, but the truth is, a lot of times, grandparents don't want that from their grandchildren. Sometimes, they just want to be treated as friends, to feel young again... And yes there is a grandparent day. It's september 11, I think.
149559
My advice is to sit down and talk with your wife. Find out why she left you and try to resolve the problem. If you do get it resolved, your kids will listen to you and your wife. If it doesn't, talk to your kids. Find out why they went to stay with your wife and inlaws. Agian, try to resolve the problems. If those problems can't be resolved peacefully with your wife, get a lawyer so you can have time with your kids too. It's not fair to you to  have to sit and miss your kids who you love while your wife gets to see them all the time. You should both have equal rights to see them.
229616
I would like to see someone younger.
507160
You really have to watch what you say, diplomacy is required!  You want to be able to see both of your grandchildren, so be careful of what you do say.  It's very important not to appear judgmental to your son.  Tell him that you look forward to spending time with your grandchildren; but be careful not to appear to have a favorite!
178695
What a terrible situation!\n\nThere is a site you can visit that will tell you what your rights are in your state.  The link is:\n\nhttp://www.grandparenting.org/Grandparent%20Visitation.htm\n\nHere is some of the advice from that site:\n\n"If you have specific questions concerning rights in your state, contact:\nwww.grandparentsforchildren.org \nG.R.O.: Grandparent's Rights Organization, (248) 646-7191.\nThe National Coalition of Grandparents at (608) 238-8751\nwww. grandparentchildconnect.org \nThey'll give you up to date information concerning the laws in your state.\n\nGeneral Suggestions:\n\nYou can find out about a local contact by logging on to \nwww.grandparentsforchildren.org, Learn about the laws in your state by logging \non to www.aarp.org. or www.gu.org, or calling GRO at 248-646-7191. Also \nsee www.grandparentchildconnect.org.\n\nIt's always a good idea to consult a local lawyer to learn about your specific rights \nin your state. Try legal aid or the local bar association if finances are a problem.\n\nAlso consult Dr. Kornhaber's book "The Grandparent Guide" for specific advice, \nsupport and guidance. You can get it from your local bookstore or library or \non-line at www.amazon.com."\n\nGood luck to you and your family.
79855
It is great to let it go but it won't work since the underlying resentment will remain.  The best thing to do is try to calmly explain to your mom how deeply her words have hurt you and how they are detrimental to the children.\n\nYou need to clear the air.  After that, you can then decide how much or how little contact your children and you will have with her.  \n\nYou were right to remove your children from such a negative environment.  It is wrong of your mother to degrade you to your own children.  The good news is that your children will love you and won't pay attention to what she said...especially since you are removing them from the situtation.\n\nGood luck!
423586
I don't know what your troubles were but they sound pretty bad.  We support you and your great positive attitude.  I lost alot of loved ones in my family including my nephew when he was just 15.   I know what you are saying and thank God every day that I and my children are alive to share another day together.  God bless you!
478270
call the police and have them do a welfare check on grandma and the kids. Tell them the situation and have them report back to you. good luck to you.
229167
I would travel in to the future to see my childrens children :)
452722
Well it is all up to your son to get through to her. He seriously\nneeds to sit down and have long talk with her. He is the father \nof his child and has every right to take his child to visit  both \ngrandparent. It would be different if the grandparents were \ncontrolling, then yes she can have a say so. If she is a compulsive liar, then it hard to believe anything they say, as you \nalready know. They believe in their own lies. It hard to bring them back to reality. It's are up to your son to put his foot down as the\nother parent. They live together and there should not be a one \nparent rule. I'm a Mother and a Grandmother and I only have 2\ndaughters, but one of them is married and if he was a controlling\nyoung man, then I would have a say so. You as a grandparent \nhave every right to see your grandchild.  You say already you \nhave spoken to her already, well you need to keep at it. Maybe she'll give in. For what ever reason she has and as you said \nshe is jealous of you then keep asking the same question, WHY.\nThat is Good that you don't interfere in their lives or tell them what \nto do, and that is what you need to keep telling her. Sit down with\nboth of them and tell them you would be happy to spend quality \ntime with your grandchild in the week-ends. I sure do hope thing\nchange for the better. I told my daughter if my son-in-law was\nto ever keep my grandchildren away from me, then I would\nseriously take them to court for visitation rights. She told me, I\nhad nothing to worry about. Our relationship between my son-\nin-law and myself was rocky in the beginning. But after our \nbig argument, he had found out it was his own mother that was\ndoing are the lieing and turning  the story around. So now I'm\ncloser to them, then his own family is. I help them with the children to where his family doesn't help at all. So I wish you\nthe best of luck.
119251
Spend every waking moment left with the people that I love, especially, my kids.
86788
I realize it hurts you deeply, seeing someone you love hurting.  Accepting that we can't "make" anyone do what we would like them to do, in spite of how difficult that may be, is what we must do.  Accept.  It would be nice in life if we could somehow shorten the list of regrets for others.  Realistically though, we are unable to control actions of others, or in some cases, the lack there of.  Perhaps a FRIENDLY phone call, preferably from their father, inviting them for a visit.  Even if an "invitation" to visit your home is not a requirement, they may respond more favorably at hearing a simple, "I'd sure like to see you and the kids", from their Dad's own mouth.  As difficult as it may indeed be, you really may be better staying out of it, leaving the relationship (or the lack of) between his "grown" children and him.  Take ALL the energy that you have being distressed over this situation (in which the power is not in your hands to change) and direct it to the relationship you have with your husband.  Continue to be there for him, emotionally, physically.  Take care of EACH OTHER.  Invite friends over to play cards, or for a chat of "what's new" in their life.  It's time to put the focus on the two of you.  Like the way it used to be, perhaps.  Thinking of you.  Take care.
59314
Wow. That's a long time. I'm sorry for your separation. I know it must be difficult for you. My parents separated when I was a baby and I never met my real father until I was 16. In fact he never communicated with me and only kept up with my progress through his mother who my mom stayed in contact with all through the years. I wrote to him and told him I would like to get to know him and it meant so much to him. He wrote me a very touching letter that let me know he regretted not getting to see me grow up and let me know he would give anything to spend time with me. He moved within the year from his home in California back to his mother's hometown in North Carolina and we visited back and forth from my home in Virginia for the next five years until he died in a tragic house fire. I was so very, very thankful for the time I spent getting to know him and the rest of his family. I learned that I inherited many traits from that side of the family and the oddities I thought I had were simply that I was more like his side of the family than my mom's side. As we get older we all want to know about our past, our roots, our history. If you are open and honest in your communication with your son I have no doubt that he will be thankful to get to know you. It might not feel like the traditional father/son relationship, but you will have your own unique relationship as my dad and I did and I will treasure it forever. My only regret is that he did not live to see his grandchildren. Just open your heart and let him know how you feel. Good luck!