When he yells at me and we almost "break up" it seems like we barely even have a "honeymoon" period but the last time we got into a fight he got a little physical with me and ever since we have had a REALLY good time (not typical)...Since his abuse is escalating could that be why the honeymoon period is nicer or is it possible he really has changed for the better? I'm so confused.
216042
Well he is stepping up the control and the abuse. Almost like testing the waters so to speak. He seeing how much he can get away with. He may have realized he took it too far, and my regret his actions. Unless he gets help he is not going to change.  You will change though.  Each time he abuses you he is taking apart of your soul. You won't even realize it. Before you realize your entire life will be based on his reactions. The cycle of abuse is hard to stop. The only thing you can do at this point is get out while you still can.
453704
this reminds me of my relationship.. it's hectic. give him some time.. you already apologized to him. Tell him to call you whenever he feels like talking to you. GIve him some time you already said sorry so that's good that you've accepted your error.. but yea goodluck... try not to disrespect each other.. once you disrespect each other then it's really hard to work things out... and remember everyone has arguments... just be straight foward with him and tell him that you already apologized to him and to please not be in a bad mood... communication is the key! goodluck hopefully he's not moody anymore... and ask him why he's moody maybe something else was making him moody :P
511010
Dr Phil will ask you if you want to be slapped silly. That's how ridiculous you sound. C'mon, salvage your pride for God's sake. Walk away and don't turn back. It's always like this when we're in love, we think we'd die without the person, when you're over him you'll realise it was nothing after all.
67923
I would reccomend that you do some real tough self analysis, Im not suggesting that your nuts, Im talking about looking deep within yourself to see why you want to be with this man? Your evidence is ;\nhe has been emotionaly abusive to your children.\nhe has been emotionaly abusive to you\nhe may be trying to get you to do things you dont want to  \n          He knows you and you know him, ask yourself, do I want to go through this again, do I think he will be good to my children this time?\n          It sounds to me like he has many issue's to work out before he could be a good husband and father. I'm sorry if this sounds very judgmental, but I have very little patience for abusors. I feel that the victims of abuse need to be taken care of first and kept safe. If he wants to become a person who will be good for you and your kids let him do it first then consider reconciliation.\n     This way you will not have to deal with more abuse from him, no one needs hear put downs from their family, and you wont have to deal with any guilt you would have for allowing him into the lives of your children and him doing more emotional damage to them.
296291
oh you're not in an abusive relationship at all are you? he was you wrapped around his lil finger and you don't even realize it. wanna know where this is gonna go if you don't grow a back bone and leave him? you'll be dead in a ditch somewhere and it'll be his fault. if he loved you back he'd trust you enough to let you do your own s.hit without havin to make you call ever 5 f.uckin mins. you need to stop and pay attention to what your gut is tellin you bout this guy. i wouldn't be surprised if it's tellin you to leave and not look back
402172
Are you and he fighting alot? That's the interesting thing about love and marriage; First The relationship is sweet and charismatic and may stay this way for a long time. Then as time goes by you'll both have other main intrests and concerns. This is not at all strange by the way. I got married at a very young age and didn't know the guy long enough first. This may have been what happened to you also. I went back and forth to my ex for about 3 years before I finally followed through with the divorce.
495947
Interesting.  I just broke up with my stubborn boyfriend who also is very mean when he drinks.  Although he is one stubborn guy, he acknowleged that he was a person he didn't want to be when he drinks.  He made a big effort to cut back, at least around me, and it did help.  I think it says a lot about your relationship if he isn't willing to at least TRY to cut back.  It's not like you are asking him to stop having a good time, if he's mean, that is just not okay and it shouldn't be accepted.  I'd suggest talking to a couples counselor.
55362
Marriage is a big decision.  Perhaps your fight has caused him to reexamine the relationship.  This is a good thing -- if more people slowed down and examined their relationships to determine whether or not they were compatible before jumping into marriage, we might have a lower divorce rate.  What he is doing is being cautious and you can't fault him for that.  He still cares for you.  He just wants to make sure you are the one.
350066
He's a bully. If you stay with him, get used to a life of walking on egg shells. I bet he was "sorry" later and tried to tell you he didn't know what made him do it, or said you "made" him do it.  It's not a mood swing, it's a precursor to more verbal and emotional abuse.
609251
People who are abusive, whether it be physically, verbally, or emotionally, are number one, as a male, more likely to do this to a female.  Because they do not have the guts to go against a male.  And yes, they will come back and apologize, and then do it again, and apologize, and do it again, and apologize, and do it again, and apologize, and do it again, and apologize.  See a patten here?  People like that, depend on the kindness of others, to not go up against Them, and to demand that this type of behavior be stopped.  When You say a special friend, if You mean abusive, You are correct.  And You are not doing them any favors, by allowing this to continue.  His self esteem is real low, and chances are more likely than not, this stems back from His Childhood.  And there is also a reason in Your past, that allows this to seem like the norm.  Doesn't mean You can't try to help Him, You just have to be out of harm's way to do so.  He needs some Anger Management.  That is where I would start.  And Be Careful, this is only going to escalate, get bigger, larger, more difficult to handle, intensify, go awry.  Don't set Yourself up for a life like this.  If Your a Minor, get your Families assistance.  You have to shine light into the darkness, unless You want to be left in the dark, alone, one day, to deal with it by Yourself.  If You think that I am being overdramatic, don't do anything, let things stay the same way, and then write us back in a couple of months, if You can.  I have worked in this area, for many years, where this is almost an every day fact of life.  Some get lucky, some don't.\n\nGod Bless
406534
Wait until the new wears off or he gets under pressure, or whatever that may trigger him. If you were my sister and \nI found out you were seeing him again, a few mates and I might have to pay him a call....but then if we had made the call in the first place, when he did it before...\nOf course it depends on the abuse, what some call abuse is not, and some take beatings and call it okay. More information really  is needed.
13515
listen sweetie...\n\ni don't want to upset you or anything, but i've had experience with this issue.  what you're talking about is not really fighting.  it's called jealous and controlling.\n\nyou and your boyfriend aren't really fighting.  he is getting very angry and accusing you of things that he has made up in his head.  you are trying to cool the situation down while trying to defend yourself, all while trying to make sure that he knows that you love him.\n\ni don't know how long you've been going out with him and i don't know how angry he gets.  but on the real, you should tell him straight out that he has to stop and you won't take it if he continues.  if he does continue, you should leave him.  i know it sounds harsh, but trust me, however bad it is now... it will get worse... and worse... and worse.
654469
Sounds like he's doing drugs.\nIf he has been physically abusive it is time to get out no matter how much you think you love the guy.\nThere is someone else that will treat you better.
330029
Breaks are ok like this, logical and smart.  He's being very mature.  You not going to like how I say this, and I honesty don't know a better wait, so i'm sorry in advance.  But this is your warning from him if I'm reading what you wrote right, your behavor isn't acceptible to him and he's not going to put up with it.  If you can't control it, you might want to move on, save yourself the divorce later.  Hope you don't, sounds like you lucked up and got yourself a good guy.  Alot of girls would love to be in your shoe's.  Don't blow it.
217010
That is inexcusable and if he does not agree to counseling immediately and promises to stop the violence and rages leave. Get out. It is bad enough he is perpetuating the cycle of abuse, but he is trying to rationalize it because of what happened to him. Bad news.\n\nDon't get caught in the cycle. You are obviously aware it is wrong. Even if this doesn't work out, make sure you get your needs taken care of afterward in counseling or some kind of group setting for victims of abuse. Good luck and much love.
599167
Sounds like a loser to me.  The more comfortable he gets with you, the more likely he will start to abuse you, physically or verbaly.  It doesn't sound like you are in a very good situation.  You should get out of it.  Nobody should tell you what to do all of the time and the jealousy thing, it kind of makes me scared for you.  Good luck!
394378
I honestly don't have an answer for you because of these being the only details given.  I can tell you to leave this relationship as it sounds miserable and he is emotionally abusing you.\nHTH