I've recently been debating why people want to appear so genuine and caring to others, just for the sake of not hurting their feelings. Why is it bad to tell the truth? Honesty is the best policy, is it not? And please don't respond with hippie bullshit about how we should all be nice to each other to start world peace and there's no need for being mean. I don't buy into that crap.
213120
I beleive you can say anything if you speak the truth in love.\n\nThere are times where I had to say things to people that were really senstive issues like bad oral hygene or people that are very self absorbed.\n\nTruth hurts but it also sets you free. The Bible says in Proverbs 27 that wounds of a friend are better than kisses of an enenmy, meaning a friend would love you enough to hurt your feelings to make you a better person and say the truth even if you dont want to hear it.\n\nFor example I wanted to get married more than anything in the whole wide world and I met a man who is now my husband, there were people in our family that were relatives that did not share our enthuiisiam for love.\n\nOne realtive had a family meeting regarding the two of us getting married and let me tell you I was really angry and mad. \n\nBut in all fairness we did not have jobs. no benenfits and she expalined to my parents that my fiance would never make a lot of money and that I would not be able to stay home the way my mom did. I did not have a teachable sprirt at that time either.\n\nBecause this person cared enough to "burst my bubble" of joy\nmy parents have a clear picture of what my husband and I would have to face.\n\nThis realtive was my mother in law. We are living on our own, we both work, and my mother in law till this day tells us and others how proud she is of us for waiting and not rushing into marraige.\n\nIf you love someone speak the truth in love. Some of the closest friends at our church are the ones who take us aside and lovingly point out where we need to improve.\n\nAntoher question are people being nice to be genuine or aviod conflict? I feel it is more important to be genuine than it is to be "nice" I hope this is of help to you and this was a very good question
248524
I believe honesty is the best policy, but don't be honest just to relieve your own pain. Being honest about a mistake often hurts the other person more than you think. Sometimes its best to just keep quiet and live with the guilt... and hopefully the knowledge that you made a mistake and will never repeat it. \njust_a_guy_in_florida@yahoo.com
111894
politeness can be a form of pretentiousness... like most politically correct thnigs, you're taking into account the feelings of the other person.  it's okay in my book to be polite.  \n\nin your details though, it looks like you're leaning towards asking about those 'little white lies' we tell to spare someone's feelings.  i know when to mince my words, and i have no problem doing this as needed.  it's a valuable social skill (sometimes a survival technique) to have and to be able to use, as long as it doesn't become a habit.\n\nreconciliation::: if what i truly feel will be hurtful to the other person, i tend to err on the side of caution, especially with people who i don't know very well.  i'll bite my lip and pretend to be polite, all the while knowing that no real harm is being done.
627239
Honesty is the best policy.  If he doesn't like you being honest, then he really wasn't a friend in the first place and is only after one thing.  And that isn't friendship.
207323
You have to be honest with yourself and trust yourself before others can trust you. Would you trust you if you were any of these people? Why? Whynot? Answer these questions to yourself. You could admit to these people that you do occasionally bend the truth, but as you said, not to intentionally hurt anyone. Let them know that deep down you are an honest, trustworthy person.
358606
It is always better to tell the truth.  Lying in any situation is unsound, and usually betrays a lack of courage - the courage to say "I don't want to answer that", or "Well, yes, you are a bit fat, but I love you anyway and if you want to change it why don't we work on it together?" or something like that.  Lying, ultimately, can only ever hurt you, and the person or people you lie to.
59851
I find honesty is the best policy, however if I now its going to hurt someone to much I give it the ole bambi rule-- if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all.
410742
What? Of course its not wrong to be kind/honest/friendly/caring! Its part of being human to do this. If you don't ever, you are a psycho. If you do it all the time, you are Ghandi or something and people should build statues to you.Without those four things, society would fall apart. Horrible and ugly? I hope your friends are just kidding. Besides, no one should tell someone else how to live their life. You are you. If that you is a good person, so much the better. Too bad your current friends are so weird and mean.\n\nSomeone who merely talked about those four things might get boring after a while. Someone who acts on them never will. Keep it up!
301709
When you post a question, you have to expect people to be rude and some to  be nice.  Isn't that what this is for?  I's only someone's opinion whether good or bad.  Don't let it get you down.  If you have a question, then you have every right to ask them.  Please don't get offended by the few who are idiots. OK?
45987
I prefer to be truthful. I find myself embellishing stories sometimes, and when I realize that I am doing it (sometimes it just comes out!!) i catch myself and rephrase it to be more honest. I want to be someone who people believe they can trust in, so I speak the truth.
565379
If you believe in something strongly then telling the truth will only make life easier. You will have a load of..If another person is involved then you should approach the problem rationally and take into account other person's point of view and respect it if you really care about the person.
16383
People hate the truth, because it often hurts. The funny thing is, you need to balance how much a relationship means to you with your desire to tell the truth. You don't want to burn someone who means everything to you for something so trivial as truth.\n\nGood Luck!
30788
Ok- being truthful... I have never been that bold to blatantly say "hope you like Hell" or some other form of it.  Have I thought it?  amybe, if the atheist was being really beligerant in his/her discussion of my beliefs vs. theirs.  \n\nBut typically, the person doesn't want an arguement, they don't want some platitudes, and they definitely DO NOT want a condescending, holier-than thou, poor you who don't understand kind of attitude.  They want truth, they want honesty.  \n\nSo I don't think I have ever been that rude to enother person.  I just wish that people who don't believe would also be tolerant of those of us who DO. We're not stupid, or rednecks, or just too ignoratn to be "enlightened".  We're people.  I think I might post this question from the other side, would you answer it?  \n\nThanks for forcing me to be honest- I really had to think and make sure.  I like your question.
120359
You answered your own question.  Wouldn't it be great if nobody told lies?  We would be able to count on what was said.  We'd get used to hearning the truth, even if it wasn't always pleasant.
46663
People lie to build self-confidence in my opinion.  Reprecussions of being untruthful is people get hurt and you have to tell more lies to cover the first lie.  You always get caught!!
540054
It's impossible to never lie.  The idea that total honesty makes you a good person is false.  If your best freind is dating someone that they are extremely happy with, and this friend asks if you agree that their new love is attractive, what do you say if the answer is "no"?  You lie!  Your friend isn't taking a survey, they're just looking for affirmation of their happiness.  If we were all made with built-in lie detectors we would all hate each other.  Being a good person isn't about telling the truth all the time.
230844
Just because someone asks for and gets honesty does not mean that it does not hurt sometimes.  We all have our unspoken expectations as to what we want someone to say to or think about us and it's only natural to feel disappointment when that doesn't happen and something else is said or done instead.