ok i party from time to time with my cousin/friends and my girlfriend agrees not to go and just let me go out and have a good time. but i always want her to go. but i constantly get mad at the fact that when she gets drunk that she talks to my cousin....example..when i needa run up the road for a second and i ask her to go she just wants to stay there..
217956
This is a trust issue.  Do you trust her?  What makes you so upset that she talks to your cousin?  And he is your cousin.  If you cant trust your girlfriend, you should at least trust your cousin.  Leave this alone, if something does ever go wrong, let her go and be thankful that you found out about her while she was still your girlfriend, and not your wife.
141308
You have a problem here.  You need to tell her how you feel.  How much she hurts you and how it hurts you to see her abuse alcohol.  She had a drinking problem and needs help.  As long as you continue to spend time with her, she will hurt you.  In a minor way, you are an enabler for her because you do nothing to stop her.  Yes she has a self control problem.  If she doesn't listen to you or gets defensive about it, tell her that until she gets her act together, you just can't spend any more time with her.  Tell her that she embarasses you, injures you and hurts you deeply within.  Tell her that until she can give you the respect, consideration and friendship that you have been giveing her, you can't afford to spend the energy and emotion on a losing cause...that she is draining you emotionally and physically.  Otherwise, she will keep using you (that is what she is doing) and abusing you.  It is tough to do this and she may get mad and be verbally hostile to you, but it is for her own good...and yours.  Good luck.
209405
it sounds as though you really care about her as a person, and her behavior hurts not only herself but you too, but  your best bet would be to stay clear of her.  Holding her up when she drinks to hide the fact she is drunk, (because she is embarrassed) clearly shows she knows what she is doing is wrong, yet continues with this behavior. Don't be an enabler to her co-dependent nature. Some people have to fall flat on their face before they admit that they need help. Also hanging with a person like that will give you the reputation of being an drinker also. you said you have tried to talk to her and she won't listen, so chances are if you tried again to talk to her you would get the same response. If she comes to you and asks you why you are steering clear of her simply tell her that she offended you and she clearly needs help and that you care about her as a friend and because of that you are not going to enable her to continue with that type of behavior. If she seeks help and her behavior changes you will consider hanging with her again, but you can not and will not allow her to drag you down to her level. It will be difficult, but in the long run it will help you both.
183631
wow so um try talking to your cousin about both of you waiting to see if maybe there is someone else for one or both of you then tell her how you feel and what you want to do if she cares for you both she might refuse to come between the two of you. i hope all goes well and if it doesnt there is more then likely another girl out there
73643
From everything you said it sounds like you resisted her fairly well. What I don't understand is why you wanted to hang out with her in the first place. Did you want something to happen between the two of you? And if she is a so-called friend she wouldn't have been making the moves on you knowing you have a girlfriend. I would not tell your girlfriend about any of this, unless you are intending on breaking up with her. If in the future someone mentions it to her and she asks you, then you need to be honest with her about everything.
142274
I am somewhat in this same situation.  I was a drinker when I met my bf and he has since asked me to quit (or only drink when he is around).  He knows I tend to be more "open" or social when I'm under the influence of alcohol and that scares him, and he has every reason to be (i am a heavy drinker and have been known to black out).  I guess it depends on how much she is drinking and how often.  Do you see yourself EVER being able to accept it.  I'm sure you have tried talking to her about this already, hence the fighting.  Please, next time, express your fellings calmly, genuinely, and with love.  If she is 100% defending her actions without even so much as considering your feeling on this, it may be a lost cause.  (From experience, the more defensive she is, the more difficult the situation, there may be more to what she is doing).  If she loves you, she will at least consider what you have to say. \n\nAlso, you may want to re-evaluate your marriage.  I'm no counsler, but I've known from my own relationships that sometimes the spark burns out.  She may just be seeking the "new" that she misses from when you 2 met.  Is rediscovering those "new" feelings with her an option?
347566
It's a difficult situation since you don't live in the same city. Your girlfriend is used to spending time with her friends because you are only there every other weekend. Since your girlfriend is used to her friends all the time that you are not around, I do not think it is too much to ask for her to spend some quality time with you when you are in town. She can balance her time on the opposing weekends between you and her friends, but she picks her friends when you are not in town and then picks her friends when you are in town. Since you say that her friends are your friends too, I think a reasonable compromise would be for your 1st weekend in town to hang around the friends and have a good time (but with some alone time), and the 2nd weekend of the month to be your time with each other and no interruption. If she can't agree to that and insists on calling up a friend to join you, I would question if she wants to be with you and, based on that, if you want to remain with her.
373588
I was always told that in any relationship there are signs and signals to watch for that will give you a heads up as which way the wind is blowing in the relationship.  If the two of you planned to celebrate your birthday...alone than that's what should have been done.  To arrive there, with friends, and already drunk is jusy wrong.\n\nIf someone else invited this girl and he knew about it ahead of time then he should have told his friends, in private, that as soon as you arrived you two were going to leave because there are bad feelings between you and this girl.  Once you arrived at the hall that's exactly what he should have done.  He might have been able to do so had he not been drunk!\n\nYou know those signs and signals I mentioned?  There were two of them right there.  He rearranged the plans the two of you made and he had  total disregard for your feelings?\n\nI'm going to ask you your question:  Shouldn't you leave him?  Why would you stay with someone who ignores your wishes?  Do you enjoy being treated that way?  Forget him
17504
Tell her you don't want to be around her when she's drinking. Be honest and open about the way she acts and the way she makes you feel. Then find something the two of you can do together that doesn't involve liquor.
554650
I'm a woman and I'm an American and I don't drink till morning.  I don't go drinking with guys.  That is crap.  That is her.  Non of my friend do either.  My husband doesn't drink till early in the morning or I would kick his butt.  We might drink 2 beers on the weekends.  She is a drunk and is going to destroy her liver.  I don't know how to say this nicely to you....but dump her.  You don't want a drunk.\n\nP.S.  It sounds like she is one of those college kids that they do stories on that end up killing themselves with alcohol.  Every year there is some college kid that drinks themself to death.  Do you want that to be your woman?
656424
In my opinion, this sounds strange to me. Maybe her boyfriend said something to her about you after you and your fiancee' left that night. Since you just met this couple awhile back, he may be using you as an excuse to break up with her. Or he may have found you very attractive and keeps telling her that. That would make any woman upset. Whatever the case, she is mad for something her boyfriend said, not what you had said. For the dirty looks, and she tells you to go find a hobby. The man had something to do with this. If it happened to me, I would go on with my life. I don't need friends like that to ruin things for me.
566097
I met my wife 3 years ago.  As I looked at her for the first time I thought to myself "If I don't ask her out I will regret it for the rest of my life."  So, I walked up, introduced myself and started having a normal conversation.  Then after about an hour I said that I had an important meeting that I was going to be late for (it didn't exist, but made me look impressive :) but could I have her number because I would love to take her to a party my friend was throwing that weekend.  Well, my friend wasn't throwing a party so I made him throw one.  I spent $300 on alcohol and called everyone we knew.  It was on hell of a rager.  So, the moral is lie your ass off, but only for someone you could see yourself with the rest of your life.  And don't make the lies so big that it will piss her off when she finds out.  My wife loves the party story and that I was willing to do all that just to get her to see me again.
61002
well if she could forgive you then you should beable to do the same for her , not that you have to but thats what is right . the both of you have to make agreements to who and how you wil get drunk with others when the other one isnt around , i had to do that with my gf for the same reason , by doing that we removed the abilities of people we dont trust to take advantage of the situation of a drunk mate , but its up to you and her to make the rules up to what sutes each other , but only if you think you can handle it . staying with some one who has cheated on you can prove to be very hard to hold suspisions back , and not let them eat you up , because it wouldnt be fair to both of you to string her around when youknow you cant handle it , and if she didnt mean for this to happen she will live with guilt for a long time , so dont rub it in if ya know she is hurtin over it
360432
My girlfriend and I were having similar arguments.  She thought that I chose parties over her.  We were dating for 5 years and took a break for a couple months and recently got back together.  It is easy for your friend to be influenced by his friends, and his friends (especially if they are single) would like nothing more than for him to break up with you so they could have their "buddy" back.  Your boyfriend needs to stand up for you in front of your friends, or else they are going to walk all over you in front of you and behind your back.  You need to talk to your boyfriend and see if he is willing to stand up for you.  If he is then definitely give him another chance.  If he doesn't want to hear it from you then you should probably look elsewhere.  Knowing he will stand up for you will make your relationship stronger, but if you think he is too easily influenced by friends you are in dangerous territory.  The best of luck to you.  \n\nKen Holmgren
101184
if that's what she wanted to do then that's her although I've never experienced that before, I dont even want my boyfriend to see me having sex or do sexual things with someone else, and most definately dont want him to do it, but like i said she shouldnt feel bad because you gave her permission, but once you two get into an argument dont bring that up because you told her that it was cool, and if she ever want to do it again, you already gave her permission, how could you let another guy touch her anyways, or let her touch another guy? I cant see it, if my boyfriend's gone be with someone else, he's going to sneak and do it
445691
In my experience alcohol can definitely assist people in doing things they wouldn't normally do without alcohol in their system.  I don't think you would do anything stupid because of the fact that you are aware of this fear you have of acting innapropriate.  It's the chance we all take when hanging out with friends who are drinking, that they may do something they wouldn't normally do.  If she is a true friend she will laught with you and tell you to stop your just being drunk.  If your obnoxious when you get drunk however she may not want to hang out with you anymore.  Maybe you should just be honest with her and get it out in the open so that you both may enjoy the evening and you already know how she would react.  She may surprise you and tell you that she would be delighted to make out with you.  '-)
504919
Thats so cute.....but seriously make her understand that is you two were to be BF/GF then you could go to jail and then you two could never be together.  i sure she doesn't want that now does she?    Tell her that you'll call her on her 18th birthday but untill then keep her chin up and keep looking.  You could say that she will be missing all the fun with her freinds because none of them will be able to hang around with her because of you.  get her to see the down side of it.  Or what you could do is pretend your her BF and do everything she doesn't like and then she won't want you...you'll be a free man!  Call it returning the favor.  Good luck!!