I am a muslim in a homosexual relationship with a western man and I am having trouble separating my religious beliefs and my partner.I need some assistance
216603
I believe you should make dua to Allah and ask him for forgiveness and to make it easy for you to avoid this wrong from your life,seek the advice of a trusting Iman to see if he can help you through this weakness and don't post such personal questions like this leaving it open for the above people who are enemies to the laws of Allah (may he guide them as well) to use as there board to express there hate rd and further move you from the right path.  I will remember you in my dua.  Asalamu a lakum
490298
Your in a tough situation, because your GF has got loyalties tied between two things at the moment. You and her religion ( and we both know those two subjects don't go well hand in hand). I am guessing your GF would be questioning allot at the moment, there is nothing that you can say to ease her mind really because its such a delicate situation which involves you. I would just tell her that you understand that she is going through a bit at the moment, and understands if she needs space, but tell her you do love her and you will stand by her what ever her decision. Just make sure that your there for her emotionally and physically because she will be having a hard time at the moment. Religion is very important to some People its only up to her if she can choose love over her religion. I hope she does : ) \nThe best of luck to the both of you
352339
I can see that you are in a tough situation.\n\nI don't have any easy answers. In some ways it seems that your brother is trying to provoke a response - maybe he's testing your and your family's ability and willingness to love and accept him despite his difference.  Maybe he thinks 'I'm going to get treated badly in my culture and maybe my family anyway" so his behaviours that put people off are a way of shielding himself from letting people get too close, so it won't hurt as much if he does feel rejected, or so he can tell himself that any rejection is because of dumb things he DOES (like being rude) instead of because of who he IS (like being gay) - it's less painful that way.\n\nYou are in a unique position of being his sibling - one of the few people he will know and have a relationship with virtually from the cradle to the grave.  My suggestion is that, since you live in a Muslim culture, he already knows what Islam and Allah and the Imams think of homosexuality, and he doesn't actually need to hear it from you.  What he needs from you, as his brother? sister? is your continued love and support for him.  \nI know that my mother doesn't really understand my sexual orientation, and she probably isn't HAPPY about it, but I'm so grateful that when I came out to her, her response was to genuinely try to understand, not preach or argue, and to acknowldege that my experience (that of having fallen in love with a straight woman I could never be with) "must have been very hard for" me.  There was a lot of wisdom in her response.\n\nLove him.  And when you disagree, stay calm and suspend your judgement, and maybe even honestly try to learn what it's like for him.  Leave the lectures and the judging to other people - he;ll get enough of it, trust me.\n\nChristians in my culture can say and do some pretty horrid things toward people like myself, but there are also many, many supportive Christians.  A lesbian friend of mine and her sisters (also both lesbians) grew up in Pakistan, and moved to Canada as adults.  Though I've seen the movie "Fire", and heard them talk about their own experiences, I know I can't even begin to grasp how difficult it must be to be a queer person in an Islamic nation.  \n\n(Perhaps that's partly why Irshad Manjii, Canada's most outspoken feminist, reformist, Muslim lesbian woman, is as outspoken as she is.  I don't know.)\n\nPeace. Shalom. Salaam.
348754
Find a new boyfriend.\nRelationships are complicated enough; add on different religions, and relationships become impossible...\nHaving a relationship with someone of your own faith will prove to be a bit less complicated.
201473
you didnt mention the culture. if there is something like hindu involved then you are fighting a losing battle, family is first and foremost, to disagree with that causes alot of friction for him and you in and out of the relationship.
421127
first you should stop making this so complicated. in your heart you know what you believe in. as far as the other religions are concerned,leave that to god......
446966
keep on advising him with any way u can,but don`t be too pushy cause it might have an opposite effect\nin the end he has to open his heart, cause alhedaya can be only obtained by him opening his mind ad heart to islam , and to the light of islam
165788
Ideally, marry for love and keep your beliefs, which are your spiritual selves, personal.  Regarding children, it's so very important that they not feel pulled or pressured.  From day one in the relationship, look at all possible belief systems, including atheism, and show respect for them.  Freedom to believe whatever is right for you is such a precious freedom, that children should never feel compelled to take on their parents' religion.  Be certain that this is the basis of understanding between you.  Then, marry for love.
423303
I know how you feel. I have / is going through something similar to your experience. I married young, I wasn't a very religious person neither was my husband at that time. As months went by he started to get more religious and more involved with our church and he started dictating the way I should dress and the way I should act. Forcing me to do many things in the name of religion that I hated.. subsequently, because of this I started slacking of on my religious duties.. I know it is wrong but he made me hate the religion and everything that has to do with it. Religion stops at the bedroom door.. God did not dictate what you can and what you cant do with your wife/husband . It's bringing pleasure to the person you love and in doing so you are being a good person. Trying a different position or trying something new is not sacrilegious. The problem is.. you have wonderful sex with your lover, but that is scars .. and you are left in the meanwhile with an unwilling partner and many temptations.. I say don't get tempted to have another affair.. you will only complicate your life with the lies, hiding and sneaking. And believe me it will only make you despise your husband more and you feel more frustrated with the relationship. Try to talk to hubby again.. explain to him the severity of the lack of passion. If that doesn't work my advice is, consider your options.. are you willing to scarifies the marriage and your position in the society to fulfill your sexual desires or can you find means of self satisfaction..an uncomplicated affair ? You might be a better person because you won't feel as guilty as you do right now and have some peace with your self and with God... Best of Luck...
268628
What difference does it make?  Does it impact his relationship to you?  No...so you are just being nosey.  Many people view their religion as a personal experience and have no desire to share it with others.  Respect his privacy.
632659
My guess is that he didn't really understand what 'being religious' meant in your case. People differ widely on what that phrase means in practice, so he may well have simply misunderstood. When he found out that your religion prevented him from having the type of relationship he wants, he began to distance from you. Makes sense to me.
658988
If you are a christian, then I would say that that is not good.  You need to be in some serious prayer, b4 you cross the line.  Islam does not believe in the divinity of Jesus and it clearly states in the bible that the only way to the Father is through the Son.
539927
If you dont share the same beliefs in a relationship it can cause big problems, maybe not in the beginning but later on for sure... Its going to take a while for you to get over him but i think you should move on...
630168
im christian and married a muslim man,, his family made me confirt so i moved in with them and tried living there way,, i couldnt i made it a year (crying every night) then we finally moved out on our own and everything has been fine since.. just when we go to his family's house which is almost everyweekend i have to dress for them and act for them but then we come back home and im me again..... if you want to confirt then hey if you can do it great they are wonderful people with a great religion it was just to hard for me, now i do beleive alot of what they say and i have became a better person by knowing them.. \n\nif you really love each other things work them selfs out always,, we have been married for 7 yrs and have 3 children and ya the religion has its hard times but we always get threw it and we always will and i love his family there strange at times but they are the best people i have ever known\n\nok i had to add after reading some other answers ,, as far as the children my children are growing up great learning both religions and able to choose what they believe and as far as that movie that is bull shit its not like that now maybe many years ago but not now.. people have the wrong views on anyone who is different and i think that is so wrong ,
43807
You must be strong in your faith, but he may be steep in his religion.  If he hasn't proposed to you yet, I think you should travel abroad confident with the reality that he had time to do so, and didn't committ in that ultimate way.  Has he even brought that topic up?  Has he made a promise to you about it yet?  \n\nYou say its been 15 yrs; do you want another 15 more to go by, not being his wife?  I personally know of women who have had children with men, but not been married to them; both Christians and Muslimahs.  \n\nGo get your education girl.  Stop stressing.  Make that your goal for now.
21358
If you think your religious differences might be handled and you will be able to respect eachothers beliefs while you are together, you should be with him. Religious differences are often too important for a relatioship to  work, but if you are able to do it, don't let religion ruin the love of your life. And about your parents, I know it is hard, but you can not live your live always as your parents would like you to live it. If you are ready to marry, you are also ready to make decissions without your parents aproval. Be strong and defend what you decide. They will probably understand it with time, and if not, the problem will be theirs, not yours.\nGOOD LUCK
439190
My husband and I are atheists. He told me about his position before we married and I accepted it. I was an atheist in every way but by name, and just decided that I am what I am; I've been happy with the decision ever since.\n\nThat said, the argument they give about dating outside of their faith is almost the same one used by those who oppose gay marriage. They somehow believe that gay marriage is a threat to heterosexual marriage. My husband and I have discussed this before; our feeling is, if our marriage is somehow threatened by Bob and Dave's marriage, then we have other problems. Our marriage is our marriage; the only threat to our marriage would be a lack of love, respect or communication with the other. That's our problem, not something Bob and Dave created.\n\nIf you are strong in your beliefs, whatever they are, you rise to the challenge to defend them. Your faith (whether in God or in yourself) should not be shaken by association with those who believe differently than you. If anything, it should bolster your confidence to go out into the world. \n\nYour friend believes that all she does is based on faith at its very foundation. Frankly, she may be feeling very conflicted because you are a decent, trusting, and honorable person on your own - without having the guilt of religion as a motivator to be these things. In her mind, and that of her friends, you can't have those qualities without faith. Your relationship with her proves that you can; it's a threat to what she believes, and on some level she may be questioning her faith. You are not asking her to give up her faith. You are treating her with kindness, respect and are offering the prospect of being in a loving relationship. You have not shunned her friends because they are Christians, you embrace them as cool people who just happen to believe differently. \n\nI don't know what to tell you other than you seize opportunities when they're presented to you. I hope she at least considers how wonderful dating could be for the both of you. The only way you're going to know is to jump in and see what happens. If it goes well, you will approach any hurdles your differences present from a standpoint of love and respect. If it doesn't work, you will have given it an effort, and time will heal whatever heartbreak occurs.\n\nYou can't know how it's going to work without giving it a chance.