My girl and I met my senior year of college and lived together for five years.  We never had any problems getting along in or outside of the bedroom.  She asked many times for engagement but for reasons outside of her. I would give her a date just to by more time, this happened 4 to 5 times. I know this was an A-hole move and thats the main reason I am able to cope with what happened.  The past dec. she gave me a new years ultimatum which was impossible.(I should have been saving)  I told her feb would be better and she was done.  Jan she was distant, and broke it off with me by the end of Jan. and told me not to get the ring.We still talked everyday. I didnt listen got the ring and before saying yes told me she had slept with her ex and had considered being with him.  I forgave her and she is great.My problem is that she slept with her ex before she split with me&lied to my face about what was going on no less than a 100 times.  She was always so true before, is she ruined?
211023
She may be ruined...If you can trust her, you two will be alright. If you have any doubt you relationship will tarnish faster than that ring.
122677
SOMETIMES WHEN A RELATIONSHIP REACHES A POINT, THERE IS NO TURNING AROUND.  YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW YOU WANT THIS AND FORGET THE PAST AND MAKE A COMMITMENT TO MAKE IT WORK.  JUST FORGET ALL THE MUMBO JUMBO AND START FRESH.  DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THEN, LIVE IN THE NOW.  IF YOU CAN'T STOP FOCUSING ON WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST, IT WILL NEVER WORK.  AND IT IS POSSIBLE TO START NEW WITH A RELATIONSHIP.  I SPEAK 100% FROM EXPERIENCE.  I KNOW THIS IS A DIFFERENT SITUATION,  BUT LISTEN TO MY ADVICE.  IT WORKS.  JUST ASK HER IF SHE WANTS THIS OR NOT.  IF SHE HAS ANY DOUBTS, THEN SHE DOESN'T.  SHE MIGHT EVEN NEED SOME TIME JUST TO SORT THINGS OUT.  SIT DOWN AND HAVE A NICE LONG TALK TO HER AND DON'T BRING UP THE PAST; ONLY THE NOW AND THE FUTURE.  GOOD LUCK.  IF SHE LOVES YOU, SHE'LL STICK WITH YOU.
617747
Yes! it sounds to me like you two are definatly in love. and if she didn't give you a good enough reason, like "i met someone else or i want to explore my options" then i think she still loves you, it is just too painful for her to be apart for so long. so i think you need to talk to her. dont just go over there and pop the question right away. but talk to her, make her fall in love with you again and then tell her you need her and that you two need to spend the rest of you lives together...then... "will you marry me?"
576569
Peace B,\n\n  I got you on this one money.  I was married and my ex cheated on me.  Now I know that is more severe than your situation as the difference is the covenant with God thing.  However, a promise is a promise in anyone's eyes.  and a broken promise wreaks of selfishness.\n   See, if a person wants to be with you, then they will be.  It's as simple as that.  And if they end up doing something with someone else, that means they're unhappy either with themselves or you.  But not enough to leave.  So things can be salvagable.  However, it takes time and trust for that to happen.      \n   So, if you really want to stay in that relationship, you have to get honest answers from your girlfriend.  Like why she cheated and why she didn't just leave or say something if she was unhappy.  Ask what made her stray from home?  It's been said that if you'll cheat once, you'll do so again.  The million dollar question is does SHE really want you or just the security you bring to her situation?  And if she wants you, how committed is she to you the person? \n   Here are some DON'T DOs:\n\nDon't start clocking her time.  If you treat someone like a child, they will rebel.  Make her responsible for "HER".  As was the case originally, the truth came out.\n\nDon't stop being who you are and walking on egg shells.  Try to return some normalcy to your relationship.  It may be hard, but it's worth it.  \n\nGet her to talk to you about what's up with her.  And if you fight all the time, just end it.  No relationship is worth that much hardship.  Learn to accept that sometimes, it's not meant to be.\n\nGet ya sex life on track.  Cause if it ain't good at home, it'll sure be somewhere else.\n\nHope that helps.\n\nPeace and B well,\n\nJ
574359
I think you need to make the decision in this situation.  She isn't going to decide... obviously.  Tell her that as long as she's seeing her ex, that you're going to be seeing other people too... and do it! She's going to run all over you if you don't do anything about it.  If you show that you're not afraid to move on, maybe she'll rethink the situation and dump her ex for good.  Good luck!
404395
Well, if she really cares about you, then some stupid pact she made would be null and void! Duh! If she cheats, then oh well for her. I'm sorry, I really am. But honestly, if she does have sex with this guy, then you need to break up with her. Ultimatums are wrong. So, tell her go and have fun, but you just know what you have to do if she comes back with the news of her little pact continuing for yet another break- even though she claims to be in this relationship and it means a lot to her. If it really did, then it wouldn't even be an issue. I mean, why have sex with him, when she has you- someone who cares about her, who doesn't just want sex? There really isn't anything YOU can do. It all seems to be left up to her at this point. I hope she makes the right decision. But hey, if she doesn't, then it just wasn't meant to be. trust me- there are girls out there for you to fall in love with, who won't even consider sleeping with another guy! You need to go find her, in the case that this one cheats. Honestly, I wouldn't trust her anymore! I mean, how could you? She basically told you she's going to cheat on you. I mean, damn, come on.
425457
Honey, You no in your heart what she is doing to you. I no it hurts and the whole thing sucks but we all been through it.It's right there in our face and we refuse  to see it.If you keep after her she will tell you point blank that she doesn't love you any more and she has been seeing her ex for awhile now.Don 't let her do that to you,beat her to the punch.Tell her you don't care what she does because you have been seeing someone for over 6 months now and you love her.I no you won't take my advise. You don't no me but I am giving you good advise so please take it. I hope everything works out for you.If the pain gets to hard for you, don't think about tomorrow take it a minute at a time or a hour what ever it takes. Don't let this girl get the best of you.
666429
OK, "marry her if you truly love her"??  What the fuck is that?  That's not an answer?  The girl obviously doesn't want to be with him anymore, so how is he supposed to marry someone who isn't with him anymore?  Jees, some people's kids, I swear!\n\nMy advice is to throw in the towel.  If you read one of my questions, it's not the same...but it's the same concept!  You are in love with her and she has given up on your love, correct?  I.E.-the coming and getting of all of her things brings the closure to the relationship-she has given up on the relationship.  I know it will be super hard...I've been there...it was even harder coz my kids were involved.  There will be a lot of decisions in your life that you WON'T want to make...but you realize that you have to!  Like this one...she's not coming back.  It's possible...in the future, when she realizes how stupid she was being...but as of right now and probably the next few months at least...she's moved on...you should try to, as well.  If you need to talk to someone about this, contact me!  I will try to help you through this...I've been through TWO extremely hard break-ups.  good luck!
328479
it sounds like she takes you for granted. And even though you wont listen to this.. you had nothing to do with her cheating on you. She feels she is missing something. We cant control what someone else does, and contrary to everyones opinion.. it is not a reflection upon us when someone decides to do something for themselves. I am so sorry to hear she did this to you. You do need to sit her down and talk with her. Maybe you guys can work through this, maybe not. But you wont know until you communicate. Good luck :)
139897
Sorry to say but most likely shes seeing someone else. Sounds to me like shes just calling you up when she has nothing better to do. I don't mean to be so blunt but I don't know how to sugar coat that one. She probably wants you to stick around because shes unsure of the guy shes seeing and wants you on the back burner in case things don't go well with him she has you to fall back on. Sounds to me like your a pretty good guy. At least loyal. You should just ask her about it. If she can't give you a straight answer then the hell with her. Just move on. Good luck and I hope I'm totally wrong and you get your girl.
105828
rite now you dont have any reason to be worried! u know females have this tendency of leaving their past relationships hanging and tend to forget that they always catch up with them which then affects their current affairs.  if there was anything much to tell about that call, maybe... maybe she'd have told u coz i strongly believe she owes u tht one. if she starts acting funny, its better u dont stress but simply call it off until she decides what she realy wants: her fling or U. dont be afraid of loosing her, fact that this is happening, shows u might get hurt somewhere down the line if u' not careful!
435059
have you done something that could annoy her? or probably she's having second thoughts on breaking up with his ex. maybe you should give her some time alone. but keep the communication line open. text her from time to time (but not too much), ask her how she is. but do not annoy her by texting too much. if this scenario continues for days, try giving her a letter and express how you really feel. tell her you really like her but having second thoughts on pursuing cause she might think you're taking things too fast. just be honest.
266341
sorry that things didn't work out.. I am 27 and had a relationship i soooo wanted but it didn't happen for me.. but now i have an even better relationship.\ni believe no real relatioship should be complicated.. i try to stick with the "if someone wants to be with you then they will" It sounds a bit like she is keeping you emotionally hanging on by talking to you each day and that's very unfair, i think you should take some time to distance yourself from her and ask her not to contact you every day, she doesn't need to know ya business, she gave up that right when she split from you she probably only wants to know it to stop you from moving on.. but you really should, once she sees you doing that then she will either realise how crazy she is being and jump at the chance to be with you for real or she will move on also.. either way you will know how she really thinks and feels and move on to better times with or without her.. good luck
398937
She obviously didn't want to be just friends since she tried to sleep with you.  She only said that because your saying no sex until marriage.  She obviously cant go until marriage before she has sex again.  I would assume she's hoping you will change your mind.
90719
I don't think you did anything wrong...unless you spoke to her in a harsh way...if you didn't then it's her over- reacting! If you both are that close...where you were thinking of proposing to her then I believe she should have gotton rid of those old pictures,unless she still has feelings for this past guy. Other than that I see no reason why she should behave like that. I'm sure you both will work through this...good luck.
170453
I understand what your going thru. My best friend is doing the same thing to me. I called her in November to ask her if she wanted to go out for her b-day and she hasn't called me since. I did find out that she is getting married(through a mutual friend) I have no idea what's going on w/her either. Like an earlier answer said, I'm sure she is probably dealing with something in her life right now that she doesn't feel so great about. Maybe she feels too bad to talk to you about it? Maybe she thinks you'll judge her. I would just do what I did. I called my best friend a couple of weeks back and left her a message on her cell. I told her that I didn't know what was going on but I still loved her and cared about her very much. We've been friends for 13 years and I have never judged her for anything she has done in the past and she can come to me with anything. After you've done that, all you can do as back off and give her some space. If she's truly the friend that you think she is(and like I think my best friend is) she'll come around. Just let her know that you are worried about her and want to make sure she's ok. If she continues to be this way, maybe you're better off without her. That's what I've decided.
53247
It is hard to move on but if she does not want to be with you anymore then you can't make her stay. Maybe your accusations pushed her away or maybe she just was not ready and thinks that she may need some time. Whatever her reason, do not push the issue! If you worry her then that will only push her away! There is nothing worse that someone hounding you. Just let her know that you do love her and that you are sorry that things have turned out the way that they have and let her know that you will always be there for her if she needs you. Leave it at that! If you want her back then live your life, don't mope after her. I personally know how hard it is to lose the one that you love but once I started going on with my life he wanted to get back together so he then seen how it felt to be "on the other side of the fence".