my friend moved in with a guy and let her daughter move into her house. Now my friends relationship is over and she has moved into a rented place, but her daughter is still living in her old house and refuses to leave. My friend is in serious debt, and I'm worried about her. What should I say or do to help her?
201301
If the daughter does not pay rent, she can be evicted.  When the daughter leaves the house your friend can have a locksmith come in a rekey all the door locks.  The daughter would have to break in and then the police can be called.
79962
well, you should not expect your friend to use you. Although, its a good idea to "keep it in the family".  Business sometimes gets involved and it should not. You really don't have a right to be upset.  Let them pay the high closing cost that they may not have had to with you.  Maybe they will regret not usuing you, but don't expect friends and family to go thru you.  Don't let it ruin your friendship either.
199440
Well you seem to be going through alot! I am sorry! I will be praying for you and your friend! I wish I had all the answers -but I don't! Off course you want to help her- she is your friend- but it sounds like she needs help you can't give her! You need to decide do you want live with her! Can you deal with all the drama? Really search yourself- because she is going to need support and a lot of help! I wish you the best! You sound like a really good friend- when she will let you be her friend! A word -- never cheat! No matter what a person says to you! Just not a good plan! You take care- if you like to talk- http://360.yahoo.com/cloeenloe
125752
Do you have a friend that could stay there on the day that she is moving out?  If so, ask them.  Instruct them what is yours, and if your roommate starts taking things that are not her, instruct this friend to call the police and have her arrested.\n\nGood luck
58443
Just keep being there for her.  He is obviously controlling and sounds like he may be abusive.  She should seek some type of counselling to find out why she would stay with someone who controls everything she does.  In the meantime, she needs friends like you who are understanding and are there for her.  Keep seeing her and trying to get her to seek help.  You're a good friend.
29838
I had the same problem with a guy that moved in with me. I wanted him to pay some rent to me, along with half utilities and groceries. It seemed only fair since with my school and work schedule he was there more than I was. He always complained and still does afterwards about how he paid part of my mortgage, but seriously, had he lived anywhere else he would have had to pay rent too. We ended up breaking up about a year later for various reasons, but the one thing I was definitely happy I did was to make him pay his way. Honestly, you should really look at it as a roommate situation and not a girlfriend situation. Would you let one of your friends live with you for free? Or even a complete stranger, which happens many times if you're looking for a roommate in a new city? Although I know my boyfriend at the time was a little resentful that I asked him to pay some rent to me, I'm glad I did. So yeah, I would talk to her and work out a reasonable payment she could make to you for rent, then still charge her for utilities. A good way to do it is to sit down and determine what kind of an income she will have and talk about a reasonable number that she will be able to afford without hating you later. As for her parents, they need to stay out of it. If they want their little girl to live somewhere for free, tell them to open up their basement to her. Shes a big girl, in or out of college, and it is about time they let her do her thing. And since it is your condo, they have absolutely no say in how much you charge her or for that matter any thing about your finances. Anyway, I hope you work it out. Good luck!
394348
Someone once told that they never LOAN money, they give it, because if the person asks for it, they evidently don't have any money and they really need it.\n\nChalk it up as a lesson learned and understand that your blessings (money and all) do not come from people, but from God. Thank him for putting you in a position at the time to help someone and continue to do good. God will take up with this friend what she owes, because the bible speaks of debts! \n\nIt is a personal choice whether or not you continue the friendship, but it goes without saying that you should not give her or her family any more money. You live and you learn; people have ALOT going on in life and don't always do what they should or what is right. We all just have to trust that God will convict people and maybe one day, when you don't even expect it OR God will give you an unexpected financial blessing through the hands of someone else. Take it from someone who knows!
368442
you need to really explain how devastated you are about him moving to your parents. your parents should be more understanding, but they might just have your best interest in mind? why would they oppose from having your friend over to YOUR house? is this friend a bad influence or something? well, try & that is all you can do. it is hard to get used to people moving away, but time will help. i suggest talking on the phone will help as well.
79950
I hope you took the time to warn her about how crazy people are out in the world.  There probably wasn't anything you could have said or done to her to keep her safe at home.  My daughter left when she was 15 and she didn't keep in contact with me except for a couple times a year.  She quit high school in her 2nd year and I couldn't force her to go.  \n\nI sincerely hope your daughter has good friends to help her out there.  If you know her friends that she is with or near, maybe you don't have to worry if they help take care of her.  It's the not knowing that really hurts.\n\nMaybe you could get her a cell phone and keep in contact with her that way.  God Bless you.....)(
66381
This is an Issue your Friend is going to have to sit down with the Ex, and have a heart to Heart about. \n\nalthough he probably has no desire to grow up. Eventually tings will reach a point and it will force the change. \neither the Friend will do it through court. (if she is willing to collect evidence for a judge to review) or something in life will knock him down. \n\nJust remember You can't change him \nBe there to support the daughter, so she does not suffer needlessly.
304550
Hi.  Can you see if he will go through counseling before doing something so drastic?\n\nWhy can't you keep the house?\n\nI would get a good lawyer either way.\n\nYou think he is your friend now, but wait until the anger hits.   Find a good support group, and focus on taking care of yourself right now. \n\ngood luck to you.
131304
This is difficult with friends involved. I was in a situation similar, except I was the roommate that moved out. I continued to pay rent as well as the ultilities since it was a <i>contracted</i> agreement. The moved-out roommate should still have to pay for the utilities only if he was there when you first signed up for the utilities, therefore making him responsible for the utilities just the same with the rest of the roommates. If you wanna be soft with him, just ask him to pay for the non-usage based utilities since it's still somewhat of his responsibility.
320764
I have two friends in the same situation. He does the same thing. \n\nShe's taken over the finances to insure that they won't lose the house. By giving him an allowance and making sure he can now see how much they are saving and spending she allows him to be involved and hopefully he learns how to cope. She makes him pay certain bills but nothing that will land them in trouble if it doesn't get paid. This way she's helping him take some responsibility. \n\nAs far as doing housework he's the same, you've enabled him by being his surrogate  "mother" he doesn't feel the need to do these things. Start making a list of things that have to be done and things that he needs to be done. You can try and train him like a dog (yes it sounds crass but it's true) when he does something good give him a "treat" what it is you'll have to  figure out what it is yourself. There was a study done in england where the wife used dog training tricks on her husband and it actually worked so maybe it's worth a try. \n\nObviously you two were very young when you got married and with two kids it's going to be tough. I would suggest going to a counsellor together. If he won't go, go for yourself, it will help to talk things through with someone and get a different perspective.
167261
Moving in with a friend is a risky thing, especially if you are afraid of getting sick of her. It can make the best of friends the worst of enemies. I lost a best friend doing the same thing.
176309
It isn't breaking in if it is your property and has been left vacant. IT HAS BEEN 6 MONTHS!\n\nI am so sorry you're in this situation- being screwed over by your own daughter like that.  I hope you can mend fences later about this.
82153
get someone you trust to watch the child on the day you are to be out and don't leave until you are arrested. sounds nuts i know, but if you believe you are in the right then the courts need to see it. don't be bullied because you are a single mom. defend yourself and your 'rights' as you would defend your child and his/her 'rights'. have some of your friends watch the house and once you are arrested your friends trash the place. it will end up costing the l.l. more than the 2 or3 months rent he lost.\n\nmy ex's x-wife did this (not leaving) and ended staying free for 6 months (and a couple of court datees), but in that time she was able to save enough for down payment on a house.
379565
She can't legally hold your belongings, but it sounds like you owe her money even if nothing was in your name.  Pay up and be a grown up and then get your crap outta there.