I have been friend for 2years 6month, we been have sex for 4months, we are bestfriend, i just got out a bad relationship with this guy, that i was schedule to marry. My bestfriend just got out a relationship as well. but he still but a label on the relationship as we are just friend. I explain to him i want more than friends and stated that he want a person to be his best friend and lover. i am schedule to meet his family this weekend, why is my exboyfriend get out of jail on july 82006, i believe my friend is scared that i am going back to my ex who i was in the relationship for 7years, i told him i am not going back to him. that i love him and i love with him.
210947
what's the question here.  You guy wants to be your friend and your lover.  Sounds like he truly cares for you, and he is having you meet his family.  He just might not be ready to fully commit himself to the relationship since he just got out of one.  Just be patient.
584106
you say our in love with your closest friend and you have been friends for 2 years if he is a good friend and you LIKE him why would you think of dropping his friendship, it's not like he is lying to you or cheating on you. I have been in this situation a few times (always a bridesmaid never a BRIDE) but I almost always chose to keep the friendship going. It is easier to deal with the fact that he doesn't want to be sexual then to not have a friendship at all.  I hope you will make the right decision that is best for you  Good Luck
37125
These things do hapeen between friends sometimes, especially when you are younger. As time passes you may see that none of this really matters and you and your friend will have to come to an agreement that exes are off limits. I dont think you are a bad friend, but I think you two need to get together and have a heart to heart.
53265
I married my best guy friend and we were married for 8 years.  We had EVERYTHING in common.  Same taste in movies, t.v. shows, food, friends.  Only one problem, no sex.  We never had the chemistry that you can only have with true love.  We were always just best friends.  He never treated me poorly and we got along great and everyone thought we were the perfect couple.\nWe finally parted ways and are still very good friends.  I am re-married and he is engaged and both realize what we had was never really a marriage.  We got married for the wrong reasons.  I mean it's great to be with someone you get along with, but if there's no spark it's not going to work.  You will both be unhappy and always wanting more.  I am with a guy now who I enjoy being around and that challenges me.  We don't have the same interests, hobbies and friends but I am happier than I ever was in my first marriage because I am truly in love with him.  Sure I love my ex husband and always will but it's more like brotherly love than anything.  Hope this helps!!
123490
Don't call him.  You may think that it would be good to get together with him but in the end it will not result well.  A friend of mine went through this with a guy she dated for 2 years.  since you were together for so long there may be a part of you that will always have some feelings for him and the same could go to him having some feelings for you.  I think he is not used to this new relationship and thinks about what he is missing when he is not with you.  It will be for the best if you don't go back to him.  I wouldn't call him or hang around him very much because it will only make those feelings stronger.  Find a good group of friends that aren't exactly mutual friends that you two made when you were in the relationship, and hang out with them.
245019
His problem might be the way that you refer to this long time male friend in terms of endearment... as someone who has been there for you through the good, the bad, the ugly, etc. \nNobody wants to hear that, and it's not going to boost his self confidence or trust by being compared to your other male friend. \n\nI'm wondering why you're going out with him, instead of the friend who has given you much already?\nIf you're not attracted to your friend, then you should decide who you want to be with, and who's going to be there for you when YOU need him. \nOtherwise you're going to keep on hurting the man you're with, \nby wanting to keep your options open when you feel the need to find alternative support from another guy.
304501
i'm kinda reading your question in a funny way. i'm not sure if i understand it...he wants to be with you but not have sexual relations? hmmm...i still think i might be reading a typo on your behalf. \n\nif that's the case and you fear it has to be attributed to you gaining weight, then i think it is justified to feel concerned. if he is not sexually into you because your size, and you feel awkard and emotional, then state exactly what friendship means to him. if it just means 'i love you but we are just plain old buddies now' then i would probably be inclined to take some time off from him.\n\nlove gets thrown into the equation like butter to bread and sometimes that definition tastes different in others peoples mouths. maybe your tasting a different flavour or the flavour he is serving isn't to your liking?\n\nif you don't feel comfortable being 'just friends' and you think it would be to hard to sustain, then leave the ex where it should be: in the closet along with all past memories. just because you have slept with each other does not mean that the love their can go any further. the emotional state your are in is valid for it concerns affairs close to your heart. take care.
621327
A ex is a ex..  that is why they are called ex's.  There is nothing wrong with being friends with an ex.  I am friends with an ex.  We talk on the phone about evey 4-6 months.  He calls at Christmas and that is about it  We ask about the kids and how each other are doing.  End of conversation.  \nSo, I say she is not comfortable with you.  It is truly hard to be in love with someone whom you have only known for 6 months.  Not imposbbilbe, so she is has a greater bond with the ex.  But then my question would be why did they break up if she feels it necessary to text and talk to him all the time?\nJust because her family is good to you is no reason to be treated like the thrid wheel in your relationship.  \nShe is selfish and wants the best of both worlds.  As for the sex issue, you didn't seem stressed over that.  But meds can have something to do with it and I would sugggest she contacts her Dr and lets him know the side affect and he might be able to give her something else. If you truly love her and I mean in love with her you will and can work through this if not.\nYou have only invested 4 months so move on and someone out there will appriciate your for you.  You will not have to prove yourself and should not have to prove yourself to anyone who loves you,  Nor should you be lied to or feel there is no trust level when love someone and as I said truly love someone.
499160
Listen girl...\n\nthe majority of relationships that happen.. the majority are brought together because people are best friends...\ni mean, best friends do get together in some cases.. right? you agree with me... so you know..\n\nmaybe your man is best friends with his Ex.. and they still feel that brotherly - sisterly connection... then there's nothing you can do about it... \n\nbut just.. don't worry about it... all you can do is just trust him.. and besides... since he goes out with his ex... why not take advantage of that.. and go out with some of your guy friends... use it as a sort of an excuse.. "You go out with your ex... why not i go out with my guy-friends"\nI know it's childish, but hey! you can have fun that way...\n\nand i'm sure your b/f has fun with his ex...\nno girl.. not that kind of fun.. lol...\n\ntake care
74168
It may be hard for him.  Don't get too upset, after a year's relationship that is probaby a very uncomfortable situation for him.  He is right to tell you not to spoil your life because of him.  Maybe he also felt you were still hanging on for some reason or another and thought the best thing for you, personally, was for him to not be around.  Sounds like he is a nice guy and things just didn't work out.  I would move on.
354044
You guys live in a different state.  What do you expect to happen?  Do you expect him to be alone?  What has failed here is your understanding when people are far apart.  It's your responsibility to be realistic, not him.  It would help if he did his part, but that's not the issue here.\n\nIt's you and your false expectations about relationships-particularly when you live far from your mate, in a different State.\n\nSorry sweetheart.  \n\nI'm guessing he said that not to hurt your feelings and he has no intention of doing so, but he's a human being and so are you.\n\nCall him and tell him that this is not realistic and to maintain a friendship.
161932
If your mear friends then why have you been going out for 2 years???? Let him go, you will only end up wearing your heart on your sleeve in the end. You can't be friends with someone that your "in love" with, it never works. Sorry, but end it all right now, you will be much better off in the end. He has made his point VERY clear. Move on....
374603
No.  I am sure you are still his best friend.  He is just into his girlfriend.  Give him a call and try to schedule a time at least once a week.  Unfortunately, it does happen, when someone gets a boyfriend/girlfriend, they "forget" their friends for a little while.  You can let him know that it isn't healthy to spend all his time with her, that it is important to spend some time with his other friends too.  It isn't going to be the same though.  Try to get him to spend some time, like once a week as a guys night out, or once every week.  You haven't lost him.  He is just distracted at the moment.  \n\nDon't give up on him.  Best friends stay together and are there for each other when needed.
87498
It sounds like he's just really afraid of getting hurt.  I wouldn't say your relationship is only sex though, you've had some great deep coversations and have been friends for a long time.  I definately think there is the potential for a good relationship here.  The only thing is, he needs to be on board.  Don't try to force a relationship if he's not ready.  Talk to him about it, and try to gain his trust.  Sometimes when someone has closed themselves off for that long, they have a hard time opening up again.
225329
The just friends thing, I never really understood.  If you two are attracted to each other, if you two love each other - than how can something bad happen?\n\nYou say he knows more about you than your husband of 20 years did?  If that's true, than he knows your faults, he knows what your like.  If he's not scared what's the problem?\n\nI believe your best friend should be your mate.  You always have to be friends in a relationship.  So I would say - life is too short not to try.  Try you could lose this special friendship as you call it but think what you would gain.\n\nSomething else to think about - if you don't.  He's going to meet someone someday, your going to meet someone someday - you'll probably drift apart some.\n\nI don't think you should have regrets in life.  Sounds like if you don't try you'll always wonder what if...\n\nOops just want to add - I don't know how long each of you have been divorce.  I think you both might be carrying baggage that you don't want another relationship to fail so your scared.  You need to look at what happens if it works...
273761
If he's not your boyfriend and you wouldn't feel comfortable going any further than you already have - TELL HIM, before you agree to go out again.  If you're honest with him from the outset, then at least he'll know where he stands with you and can make his own decision whether to pursue you as a sexual partner, to just remain friends or whether to fall away from your life.  You, too, will be able to feel confident that he understands what you (don't) want from your relationship with him.  \n\nHe might not like you (if he feels you led him to think he might get something back or considers you to be selfish) but he'll respect you for being honest.  From this base you could both agree a new direction for your relationship.\n\nKeeping quiet and getting anxious about what he might want of you, should you ever meet again, IS selfish and self-destructive. Selfish because you are not allowing him to know what you are thinking and to give his contribution in how your relationship proceeds.  Self-destructive because you are getting worried (stressed?) by excluding the one person with who you could resolve that anxiety.\n\nI guess what I'm trying to say is: no matter what kind of relationship you want to have with this guy, it'll be no kind of relationship if you don't communicate.\n\nBest wishes going forward
416039
Yeah darlin' it sounds like you're feelings are stronger than his at this point, sorry.From his point: I think it's hard to be best friends w/ a member of the opposite sex when you're  involved with someone. He may feel like he's betraying her. She may be putting some sort of pressure or negative input. \nAbout you  feeling "used" when he comes back after their break up... (which BTW their future break up is 99.9% probabable, statistically)..though I do see your point,  if you understand human nature, and as you get older you'll see this same thing again and again, very common, because people change, life is change. Change can be difficult, especially in relationships. \nNow as for numbering your friends in a ranking system, and should you call him this lable or that lable... I think once you guys can get past that "disastrous system" and began to see all the people that you really enjoy being around as your "closest friends" without the number/lable system, I believe there will be a lot less hurt feelings and heartache between all of you. Not saying we didn't do the same exact thing when I was your age,and it sucked being  #2,3 or 4 then, just as it does now. But since I did survive my teen years, I want to share that with you! My advice to you is to be the best friend that you feel comfortable with being to him, and her, without crossing the boundaries and getting into their "relationship space". He's your friend, she's your friend until either of them stops being what you consider to be a friend, at which time they are no longer a friend...\nMeanwhile use YOUR energy on YOU not him!  Good luck girl...