thank you for the advice-there is another problem-i'm 25 and 31-we've been together 1 and 1/2 years-we have sex all the time but it's getting a little boring-that's why i tried the spice-it-up approach-he's not into that- he's not into pron-toys- nothing it's vanilla-he can't keep his hands off me-but it's blah- we are open with each other we've talked about it- he's perfectly happy- he gets me off- but it's not enough-any suggestions?
217354
Can't you hear the alarm bells ringing? It's doomed unless you moderate your demands.
670898
Ask him for more play time.  Perhaps he could perform oral on you and use a vibrator on you to help you reach orgasm.  The once he has helped you out, you can make love.
9786
First define "normal"!!  I am 35 and he is 47 and we have been together for 6 years, living together for 6 months, and on average I'd say we have sex with each other 4 times a week.  Usually it is weekends 2-3 hour marathons 2-3 times a weekend as well as about twice during the week before saying goodnight!  I have found that too often can sometimes take the fun out of it so when you start seeing signs of sexual "overdose" it's good to refrain for a week or so and don't be afraid to experiment with new positions, places etc in order to keep it alive and fun!
177285
Sweetie, without knowing what you two have tried in the past, it is difficult for anyone to know what to suggest. Since I, myself am a bi-woman who has been in a relationship with the same woman for about 6 months now, let me suggest what we do. Sometimes we will go to a sexy underwear store and check each other out with different new things on until we are so hot for each other that we have to leave. Maybe go to an adult store and get some kinky ideas there. Into s&m? Spanking? Bondage? Maybe get a new toy or two. Definately get some fantasy magazines. Sometimes we "park" in a secluded place and make-out like teenagers. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping together? How about camping? It is so refreshing to "get back to nature". Find some sleepingbags that zip together. Be creative, hon. Even on a tight budget you could go to the grocery and pick up a few cans of whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and some cherries, Then make a girl sundae out of each other before eating each other up. YUMMY. Have fun and enjoy.
301227
As a relationship matures the everyday things come into play and the newness will wear off . A lot of people don't stay the course because they like the giddy and fresh feeling of a relationship . They think the relationship should always have the same feeling as it did when it was new . It will never happen . We as human beings get comfortable with our relationships and we start to take things for granted in all aspects of the relationship , that leads to the mundane eveyday same old same old . Then boredom sets in and we start to think that the grass is greener on the other side . It isn't , try to switch things up . You could set up a date night and do something special . Try some role play and act out some of your fantasies . Get creative and use some toys with sex . Good luck
258699
You have to decide is this forever problem.. or a "Im just not feeling it" problem.\n\nIs the root of the problem.. you.. him... outside inclunces.\n\nIf you are not feeling it.. and then not being there for him in the bedroom.. things will become damaged.\n\nMen very very often equate love to sex.  Right or wrong.. its a reality.   If you are able to share yourself with him, then you will at least give him a belief that things are ok.\n\nIf you think the problem is not a forever, then I would recommend having relations..but also let him know there is a problem.. and try to work with him about it.\n\nIf you think its all over, then stop the sex and get yourself out the door to move things to where youw ill be happy.\n\nIts better for him and its better for you.  You don't want to be feeling like a "whore" having sex with someone you do not love just for a life.  (Please understand I am not saying you should feel like that.. but that is the natrual next feeling).
472032
I think it's pretty common for a woman in your situation to have a lowered sex drive, but I think it's good that you're concerned and want your groove back! Talk to your doctor, there may be something simple you can do. It could be as simple as a vitamin deficency. Most likely, you're exhausted....or maybe you've got some resentment feelings toward your partner that you haven't wanted to explore...Try to think about that and if you have some, talk them out with him. That may make all the difference! Also, sex leads to more sex...the more you do it, the more you want to do it, so have fun and go for it!
196765
Why don't you two try and rekindle the passion by going out one night. Get all dressed up, looking hot....GGo out dancing, see what happens...Maybe its not boredom at all, maybe its something else. Talk to him too!
658446
If he isn't satisfying you sexually then find someone who can. Trust me it will only get less and less. Try being around him nude more. Or maybe try something a bit more fun, http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0962962813?v=glance\n\nIf you can't drum up his enthusiasim with seductions like the ones in 101 nights then maybe talk sex more often. Try keeping sex talk just talk, no pressure to preform. Talk about fantasies, ask him to tell you his fantasies that he thinks you might be offended by. Communication is the number one key to sexually satisfying relationship. If you can't discuss topics like preformance anxiety, jealousy, fantasy, or sexual expectations. then you will never have as healty a sex life as you can. Maybe suggest going to a strip club together
200633
4 years damn, well put on a sexy nighty and meet him at the door, if that doesn't work, talk to him about couples therapy or sex therapy.ohh another thought, if you aren't getting any from him most likely someone else is. ask him and tell him you would like to see some changes. maybe he wants you to show some initiative
8939
Don't look elsewhere, this is actually pretty normal.    Try talking to him and telling him that you'd like to be more intimate.  DOn't make things into a chore, like "eat, drive to movies, blah, sex"... Usually, I find that a good makeout session will be enough to rev up your latent sex drives!
242106
You've already gotten a lot of good (and bad) responses.\n\nThe key to any relationship is communication. And I think this is obviously where you think you have some problems. I assume you guys are comfortable talking about everything else. \n\nFor one, you need to talk to him. Pour your heart out and let him know where you stand. After 5 years, things do get stagnent. He may think your sex life with each other is fine where it is. You need to share with him your desire to spice it up.\n\nSometimes what holds a guy back is stress. If you have an opportunity, get a babysitter for the night/weekend, cook him a romantic dinner, turn off the phones, play some relaxing music, and talk the night away. Give him a back massage. Let him know he is loved and that he's appreciated. Ask him what he would like in your sexual relationship from you, to spice things up. \n\nBring up some options: Role Play. Having sex in a different part of the house (having sex in the same bed for 5 years can get old). Getting dressed up. Watch a porno together. Have sex with the window shades open. Turn up some music. Turn off the TV. Candles. Clean sheets. Go dancing. Go on vacation. Go to a Bed & Breakfast. Go to the beach. \n\nI've also seen a statistic once out of Europe that found that men find their partners more attractive when the household chores have been done. This maybe more related to stress.\n\nThere is sooo much you can do to help spice up a sexual relationship, that I think you should make the first move.\n\nAlso, don't make him feel bad for any fantasies he has. He's a guy. Sometimes you can even play into his fantasy. If he wants to have a 3rd party, but you don't, then by all means do not. But you can pretend:\nOne night, while you guys are about to have sex. Undress him completly. Tie his hands to the bed post and blindfold him. Once you've done that, tell him that you have a surprise for him. Tell him you've invited a female friend over to join the two of you, but she doesn't want him to known who it is, so he must keep the blindfold on. Pay a neighboorhood kid a dollar to ring your doorbell. When it rings, cover him up in a sheet, and tell him to keep the blindfold on.\nThen you get changed into a lingerie, put on some different perfume, put on makeup, change your hairstyle, etc. Go to the bedroom and tell him you're letting your friend in and that you just want to watch. When touching him, change your style. Have fun. Remember, the brain is the largest sex organ.\n\nOnce you've gone through some sort of process to spice things for him, tell him your fantasies you'd like for him to help fulfill.\n\nBest of luck to you. If nothing else, just remember to "talk".
95550
Someone in the relationship has to at least try and keep it interesting.  You want excitement?  Get excited.  Get out of the rutine.  Surprise him.  The bedroom isn't the only place for sex.  How about a quickie in places where the possibilities of getting caught are 7 in 10?  \nCome on use your imagination and read Cosmopolitan there's a lot of really good stuff in that magazine.  Trust me.\nGood luck!
19706
I agree with the previous response. There should be something more to this relationship than sex. When you guys aren't sexin' what's his conversation like? Does it go beyond sex? If you're trying to be with this guy in the long-run you've got to look at when all the sex dies down & Viagra isn't working--can he entertain & please you mentally? Can he love you without the sex? \n\nOther things to look at is if he seems bored with you if you're not giving him sex? Does he take you out in public? Or is this strictly behind the scenes? Does he call you just to talk or check-up on things? Or does he only call when he wants the booty?? There's a lot of things to look for in a man to tell if he's strictly about sex, but you've just got to open your eyes & see. I waited almost 1 yr. before I gave up any sex, becaue I had to be absolutely sure my man loved me for me. Not for my puss puss.
104060
May be you need to be stimulated more .Tell him what you need.Increase foreplay.Ask him to stimulate your clitoris ,opt for a diferent position like dogggggy style where in your G - spot will be stimulated .ALL THE BEST
117461
So tell me one thing? Why is this your problem? He's your ex for a reason. Whether he got bored with you, or you got bored with him being bored all the time, this is still his problem. Let him handle it. Unless you want to jazz up his sex life by showing him all the new things you've learned since he left you (or you left him), I would just change the subject and move on to other things.
313703
I'm so happy for you two!  Great job on waiting.  \n\nI know you two have waited for the sex but I'm not sure if you guys have done the all the things that lead up to that point.  There is a lot of fun to be had with foreplay.  Also, keep in mind that he will have an O within minutes of you guys starting your festivities.  Hopefully, he can go the distance and be able to get it back a few more times.  If not, there is no rush!  Having good sex takes patience and willingness to learn and experiment.  Don't forget to talk to each other about what you like and it wouldn't hurt to read some sex tips books together.  (Not a suggestion on how to pass the night but just in general.)\n\nI don't know if you guys are in a hotel or what but I would make sure that some chilly water and a snack with substance is on hand for later.  Also, a friend told me that she wished she had a pretty robe to wear when she came out of the restroom in her lingerie.  Since it was the first time for him to see her in that kind of dress she felt a little awkward crossing the room in such attire.  \n\nIt sounds to me like you already have it covered.  You guys waited so it will be unusually special, the strawberries are tasty and cider is very good (both flavors).  Just the fact that you are planning and being thoughtful covers your side of being romantic.  Make sure that he doesn't rush because the more anxious and rushed you are the less pleasurable it will be for you.  Have fun!