I been from Maine to Spain,\nAustin to Boston,\nI seen 48 goats doing it in a 10 acre lot,\nI gots a barrel of sheeeeeeet and a yard of cock-a-doodle-do,\nand nuff hair to choke ya,\nI'm a swiller, I'm a writer, I'm a mean bullfighter.
211523
Life like my live love ...
83245
Hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!!\n\nNice one! Love that little Cockney accent you put in the sentences Aye!
595029
omg! so funny! i got some:\n\nin front of a farmer's field: you don't have to pay the farmer for crossing the field but the bull charges\n\nON TOP of a fix-it shop door: we can fix anything!\nON the door of the same fix-it shop:please knock hard door bell is still brocken.\n\nLOL!
323783
I WENT OUT TODAY WITH MY LADY-O\nTO OTHER GIRLS I BADE HELLO\nTHEY ALL WORK IN MY BORDELLO\nWHERE THE COPS DODO A RAID-I-O\n\nI HAD TO WAVE THEM ALL BYE BYE\nTHE JUDGE SAID IN JAIL ILL DIE\nI POKED MY LAWYER IN THE EYE\nAN GAVE MY FRIENDS A BIG HI-FI...............VE
528376
Complete the words ( the funnier the better )?\n1 if i had 10 fish in a bucket I would be doing better than Michael Richards\n\n2 i had a freind over for dinner and we never talked about it again\n\n3 oh no the monster ate my friend who came over for dinner\n4 follow the yellow brick road -take a right at the lady crushed by the house and keep going until you see the 1st apple tree.\n5 today the traffic jam was too long i made toast\n6 games to play in the car count the people on the cell phone\n7 there is something about thanksgiving stuffing\n8 when it rains cats and dogs I stay inside\n9 i told him that he would be shark bait -but i was wrong...he was actually jail bait\n10 when the worm has turned -it is time to get some more tequila
310167
He meant one of those mechanical bulls like they have at bars. He probably has one in his house. They are quite fun. I set the record at the state fair last year. For the championship I wore a short skirt with no panties. Everyone was cheering for me. I got to meet the Governor and everything.
191463
1)Me and goat cross to the other side (lets call it side B)\n2) I go back to side A and take the carrot with me. I leave the carrot at side B and take the goat back to side A.\n3) I leave the goat at side A and take the lion to the side B where the carrot is.\n4) I go back to side A and take the goat to side B.
222984
Brain Stew\n\nI'm having trouble trying to sleep.\nI'm counting sheep, but running out.\nAs time ticks by...and still I try.\nNo rest for crop stops in my mind.\nON MY OWN! HERE WE GO!\n\nMy eyes feel like their gonna bleed.\nDried up, and bulging out my skull.\nMy mouth is dry...My face is numb.\nFucked up and sprawled out in my room.\nON MY OWN! HERE WE GO!
576458
lol funny bumper stickers\n\nMy Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom \nAll Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets\nSome people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. \nAll men are idiots....I married their king. \nEver stop to think, and forget to start again? \nConsciousness: That annoying time between naps.\nMake yourself at home .....clean my kitchen\nI thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck \nWhisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."\nAdults are just kids who owe money. \nWho are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? \nI'm just driving this way to get you mad.\nKeep honking, I'm reloading.\nHang up and drive.\nI said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.\n\nok this is a true application from the girls father to the guys lol i was lmao and i still am \n\nAPPLICATION FOR PERMISSION\nTO DATE MY DAUGHTER\n\nNOTE: THIS APPLICATION WILL BE INCOMPLETE AND REJECTED UNLESS ACCOMPANIED BY A COMPLETE FINANCIAL STATEMENT, WORK HISTORY, LINEAGE, AND CURRENT MEDICAL REPORT FROM YOUR DOCTOR.\n\n1. NAME__________________________...\n\nDATE OF BIRTH___/___/___\n\n\n2.HEIGHT__________________WEIG...\n\n3. SOCIAL SECURITY#______________DRIVERS LIC#_______________\n\n4. BOY SCOUT RANK__________________________...\n\n5. HOME ADDRESS______________CITY/STAT...\n\n6. DO YOU HAVE ONE MALE AND ONE FEMALE PARENT?_______________\nIF NO, PLEASE EXPLAIN_______________________...\n\n7. NUMBER OF YEARS PARENTS MARRIED?____________________\n\n8. DO YOU OWN A VAN?________________MOTORCYCLE...\nTRUCK WITH OVERSIZED TIRES?___________WATERBED?____...\nDO YOU HAVE AN EARRING?____NOSE RING?____BELLY BUTTON RING__\n\n9. IN 50 WORDS OR LESS, WHAT DOES DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER MEANS TO YOU?__________________________...\n\n10. IN 50 WORDS OR LESS, WHAT DOES LATE MEAN TO YOU?__________________________...\n\n11. IN 50 WORDS OR LESS, WHAT DOES ABSTINENCE MEAN TO YOU?__________________________...\n\n12. CHURCH YOU ATTEND?_______________________...\n\n13. WHEN WOULD BE THE BEST TIME TO INTERVIEW YOUR FATHER?_________MOTHER?_______...\n\n14. ANSWER BY FILLING IN THE BLANK. PLEASE ANSWER FREELY, ALL ANSWERS ARE CONFIDENTIAL (THAT MEANS I WON'T TELL ANYONE)\nA. IF I WERE SHOT, THE LAST PLACE ON MY BODY I WOULD WANT WOUNDED IS THE ________________\nB. IF I WERE BEATEN, THE LAST PLACE I WOULD WANT BROKEN IS MY _____________\nC. A WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE ______________\nD.. THE ONE THING I HOPE THIS APPLICATION DOESN'T ASK IS _________\nE. WHEN I FIRST MEET A GIRL, THE THING I NOTICE FIRST IS HER ________\n(NOTE: IF THE ANSWERS STARTS WITH A T OR AN A, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES, KEEPING LOW AND RUNNING IN A SERPENTINE FASHION IS ADVISED.)\n\n15. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE IF YOU GROW UP?________________\n\nI SWEAR THAT ALL OF THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICA AN TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION,ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.\n\n______________________________...\nSIGNATURE (THAT MEANS YOU SIGN YOUR NAME)\n\nTHANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST. PLEASE ALLOW FOUR TO SIX YEARS FOR PROCESSING. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED IN WRITING IF YOU ARE APPROVED. PLEASE DO NOT CALL OR WRITE (AS IT WILL CAUSE YOU INJURY)\n\nlol ur moma  jokes \n\nYo mama's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."\n* Yo mama's so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levi's?"\n* Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.\n* Yo mama's so stupid, her idea of safe sex is locking the car doors.\n* Yo mama's so stupid, her shirt says TGIF- **** go in first.\n* Yo mama's so stupid, her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.\n* Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen
442751
La Chupacabra!\n\nSorry.\n\nJust don't call yourselves the steers.  A college team in Texas is called that.  ('steer' means a castrated bull)
249773
Memorable Quotes: I learned that when you are willing to make sacrifices for a great cause, you will never be alone, because you will have divine companionship and the support of good people. This same faith and cosmic companionship sustained me after my husband was assassinated, and gave me the strength to make my contribution to carrying forward his unfinished work. \n"I believe all Americans who believe in freedom, tolerance and human rights have a responsibility to oppose bigotry and prejudice based on sexual orientation." \n\n"Segregation was wrong when it was forced by white people, and I believe it is still wrong when it is requested by black people." \n\n"Women, if the soul of the nation is to be saved, I believe that you must become its soul."\n\n"The value of life in our cities has become as cheap as the price of a gun." \n\n"In this country. we vigorously regulate the sale of medicine and severely limit the advertising of cigarettes because of their effect on human health. But we allow virtually anyone in America to buy a gun and virtually everyone in the nation to see graphic violence." \n\n"When I say I was married to the cause, I was married to my husband whom I loved -- I learned to love, it wasn't love at first sight -- but I also became married to the cause. It was my cause, and that's the way I felt about it. So when my husband was no longer there, then I could continue in that cause, and I prayed that God would give me the direction for my life....But then I finally determined that it was the King Center, because Martin's message and his meaning were so powerful....So I felt that my role, then, was to develop an institution, to institutionalize his philosophy, his principles of nonviolence and his methodology of social change, and that's what I have spent my years doing."
126360
HA - thats a good one.\n\nAnd who thought to tug on a cows breast and drink the stuff that came out.\n\np.s Mozzerella is a cheese that is actually made from the produce of a male bull - ever wonder about that?
145421
I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable,\nI sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world.- \n\nWalt Whitman
425883
i thought it was so hilarious!  \n\n"Have you ever broken a Puerto Rican dudes arms for sweatpant money?" -Darnell\n"I heard the Irabs were looking for more oil, they should probably drill into your face, god your face is greasy."- Kip\n"I was watching a john travolta movie about your face today, dirtbag.  which one, saturday night fever? No grease!" - Kip\n\nwell those are the only ones i can think of now, but there are a ton! i love it!!
474969
How about "our goats are the Greatest Of All Time". or "our Billies have Nannies for our Kids"
623531
There must have been a lot of requests for it.\n\nSoooo.....following along the Yahoo Train-O-Thought.....if we have bullfighting, shouldn't we have cockfighting as well?\n\nAnd maybe some gladiatorial combat, too?\n\nYou know, i could go for some good old throwing rocks at hornets' nests right now. Anyone with me? You listening, Yahoo?
124143
Does your mom smell like a cows butt??  How many times have you sniffed goat meat to make a comparison??  Dumb way of thinking.