I just found out my boyfiend is a porn star by lots of people ihe been in over 20 movies since we been together do you think that it is cheating and i should dump his asss or is it just for the money? Should i break up with him?
203127
He should of been up front with you from the get go, and since \nhe didn't, then maybe you should break up with him.
346111
dump him. I wouldnt really waste time on a guy that is doing stuff behind my back.
414377
Fact:\n\nmen look at porn to escape from something they are running away from something they are not dealing with.  I am not suprised you feel unnattractive! - this is abusive behaviour and totally disrespectful to you.\n\nI don't think it has anything to do with the fact that he finds you either ugly or attractive. It is to do with him and the effect of what he is doing is making you feel like you are the one with the problem but you are not - he is the one with the problem and he needs to sort it out now.\n\nIt seems like he has a pretty serious addiction and is neglecting you in place of porn.  If he doesn't want to talk with you, then he will have to talk with someone about it if he wants to remain in a relationship with you.  This cannot go on and he is not accepting responsibility for his addiction and apologies aren't going to change this.\n\nI think you feel used and responsible for what I am pretty sure he has lured you into those things you now feel really guilty about. But  he is addicted to porn, has been even before you got together as an addiction doesn't start just because of what you two did together.  His behaviour has it's roots from an earlier time and has just grown over time.\n\nYou are not guilty for sharing what you thougt was some fun between you - that was seperate from any porn he engages in and doesn't make you responsible for what he has done and is still doing now.  The videoing will have nothing to do with what addicction he has, so please don't feel guilty for his problem.\n\nPorn is very destructive and any person who jusifies it in their answers have no real idea as to the damage it causes.  It is a real relationship killer and is abusive.  Give him the choice of either getting help for this problem or to pack your things and leave him to it.  He will continue to be like this the longer he chooses to be in denial about it.\n\nWhat you did with him wasn't wrong or bad and didn't cause the addiction he has. No amount of sexual adventer between two loving couples can create an addiction to porn - it already has to be there inside the person and he had this even before you got around to adventerous sex.  He made his own choices and you didn't help him just because you had some adventerous sex togther.\n\nHe crossed the line of love and intimacy with you in a way that is totally disrespectful to you.  What he did with you was a shared intimate thing but didn't give him permission to then jerk off with fictional women outside of the relationship he has with you.  This line has been crossed and he cannot allow his apologies to make up for what he is destroying with you.\n\nHe cannot love you nor respect you and so he has to change or be left to his addiction.  This is just awful and truly feel awful for you.  You do not deserve this and you are probabley better off ditching him however difficult this might be, it has to be done because he will continue to abuse you like this by not meeting your sexual or emotional needs - that is abuse.\n\nWhat you have done right is be committed to a serial porn addict and love him regardless and unconditionally and shared an intimate and loving relationship when it was one.  So how does this make you wrong in anyway? - You gave him all that a committed girlfriend could have done and more and he is the one doing the neglecting and abusing, so what is he doing wrong? - this is the question.\n\nHe is doing everything a dysfunctional person would and is abusing your trust and love for him, so he is the problem not you. He will be the one making you feel guilty for what he is doing, so now he either has to stop, ot you walk out on him.
303383
i wouldnt break up with him over that. relationships are more than just sex. if i loved him and cared about him it would just be a little obstacle that i would overcome. love, as they say, conquers all!!
180464
Well its not cheating but it does fuel lust.\nI'm not saying its right , but its what men do..LIKE TO LOOK. \nStrippers are usually about the money and an ACT. \nMost strippers and I'm not saying all are lesbian and talk really bad about the men backstage of course. Especially when they tip bad. \nNot all clubs are actually allowing touching it depends on the state and area laws.\nIt obviously makes you feel uncomfortable.\nAsk if you can go with him to see what the club(s) are aboutt hat he goes to.\nIt may ease your mind or you will know if this is going to be a potential problem.\nKeep in mind when the money runs out usually so does the interest.\nTry stripping for him. \nYou can get more personal than strippers can.
538702
For starters there is absolutly nothing wrong with you. I was where you were years ago. The last straw was when I actually caught him fast forwarding during our time. I never told him to stop watching them but if we were in bed & he wanted to watch one I would tell him to turn it down or go to the other room. As for the BJ part HAH If he wouldn't give me the special perks I wanted HE didn't get his. Eventually any man will get sick of his own hand. My husband has always had a huge sexual appetite though. I found out later that he didn't have a porn addiction, he's into voyeurism. He liked the sneak peaks also the thrill of being caught. Try to talk to him again with a genuine interest of finding out what exactly turns him on about the movies without getting defensive. You might find that it's really something quite simple and possibly even fun for you to do together. You may have to stray from your comfort zone a little but don't let it compromise your morals or it will just make you resent him and you. A few years ago he stopped watching them as much because it was the same thing in each one. Of course them we got internet which opened up a whole new field. Our computer stays in the living room so anything he does now has to be when nobody it home so that helps. We been together for 12 years now. It's been rough but we have made it this far. If you do all you can and he STILL won't give you the proper attention that you need then there's nothing left for you there.
144783
Yea, really there's no point... best case scenario (for him) his wife knows about the porn and doesn't care... so nothing accomplished...\n\nWorst case scenario... his wife is uptight and they have a big fight and she leaves him to go be another single mom raising kids... and you'd have to live with the fact that the kids had to grow up without a dad because you had to interfere with someone else's life...\n\nHe's not hurting anyone with the porn... if you really don't like the guy... find some way to embarrass him at work with it, but let him keep his home life out of it...
672706
Glad you can admit you're no good to him or any other good guys out there.  Break up with him, coz you're obviously not in love with him and you don't truly appreciate him, and it'll be better for him in the long run.  As for you,  I 'm not sure if you could ever find true love only because you may cheat on the next guy you're with.  I can only assume that you need a lot of attention, and ONE guy can't fully satisfy you.  Do him a favor, leave him...he doesn't deserve you.  Give him a chance to find someone who will love him and appreciate him.  If you're having seconds thoughts about being a whore, then hopefully it will be the last time he will forgive you.  For him not to move on from all this suggests that he has some sort of low self-esteem, AND you sleeping around just adds more to that.  Stop making him miserable, he deserves more than you.  Stop making yourself miserable by "feeling guilt".  If you truly feel this, you wouldn't have cheated on him again and again and again.  Once a cheater, always a cheater.  Good luck on finding the right guy, coz the next guy may not be as a doormat like this current one.  OR the next one will cheat on you too.  So take your pick, karma's a b**ch.  And as you've heard it, what goes around, comes around.  Also, I hope you didn't transfer any STDs to your so-called boyfriend(don't tell me he's just a friend).  You only have yourself to blame.
623405
just a thought...........break up with him.  why cheat.  im sure u wouldnt like it if your boyfriend was cheating on you.  to each his own i guess.
325489
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years.....we were each others firsts and everything....I still LOVE being intimate with him....We spice things up by like getting into Kama Sutra or a video....we actually went into a porn store yesterday together it was fun....Definitely encourage her to play with herself....i never knew until i found out for myself...i dunno how comfortable she is about this subject, but she can email me if she'd like help
437478
I don't know about you sweetie, but an addiction is an addiction, and he is addicted.  Marriage is Respect, Admiration Passion and Trust.  For sure the first two are not there, since this is grinding on you.  And Passion is a bit tuff, if he oogles 13 year old girls on the computer,,, eeewwwwww.   You may trust him not to betray you by cheating, but hey, I trust my dog too. You don't have a marriage, you just don't know it yet.  You have a rommate..... Porn addiction is about the toughest thing of all to cure. ..... next question is why did you marry this jerk???? and in my eyes, any guy addicted to porn is a jerk.  How do you not find this disgusting????  And why are you still there????  In your place, I'd dump him and get out of this marriage.....You'll only grow to resent this crap as the years go on.... If you have children, you want this guy to be their father?????Sorry, sweetie, you asked
459978
My view of it: lying is not OK. Looking at porno - it is up to a couple, whatever they agree upon - is the rule they set for themselves. Apparently, you guys agreed (or was it just you?) that he won't be looking at it. Now he is looking at it and lying about it. He apparently doesn't know how to TALK and re-negotiate the arrangement that doesn't work for him or the promise he cannot keep. \n\nI don't like when my husbant looks at porno. He knows it very well and he doesn't do it in my presence. I know that he didn't agree to stop looking at it, so I don't go after him. But I don't care about too much so I don't make a big fuss about it. I'm not saying this is the right thing to do. I'm just sharing what I do.
652111
I would not be happy at ALL I would consider this cheating, if not cheating then pretty darn close, if you are truly committed in a relationship you don't need to look else where and if pictures are being exchanged with nudity I would consider that looking elsewhere. \n\nGood luck--JammieGirl
274143
you are just giving him space, not breaking up with him.  you shouldn't get with this other guy.  i would consider that cheating.
493831
no.... it's just fantasy and not reality... that's all porn is, is he with you or them??? who does he lay down by every night and have sex with??? If you answered you to both questions- then stop thinking the porn is anything other then fantasy and yes all guys do it and yes it's normal... Instead of worry, join in it and tap into some of them fantasies he has....
348053
insecure a little,are there any other signs.unexplained money missing,new jewlery,or new underwear for him not tighty whitys?ask him what this big secret is a a true and open relationship knowing everything is what belongs on the table.Where where you for those two months?is he  worried that you were with someone else.keep those lines of communications open or your find yourself on the road to failure.Explain to him how much you  love him and that you feel that heis holding back on info is putting a wedge then listen to see what  is said.you may not like it,it could be anything.sometimes men who dont watch "porn" could be anything from simply having respect for a women the act of making love to he may have been abused in his life at some point this is very difficult for men to talk about the whole macho thing.listen be strong and find out the secret for both of your sakes.
650249
I agree with Annabannana. Dump him. Most guys will love it.