Hello. I kinda have a problem and I was just wondering could someone give me advice about it. So heres the problem, my boyfreinds friend is coming home from New York Saturday, for about 3 weeks, but I am not looking forward to it. I am jelous of his friend. His friend is straight, divorced and he has two kids, but I have a feeling my boyfriend likes him more than a friend. He always tells me "He's a Hottie!" and when he talks to him on the phone about him coming home hes like, me and you and the kids are going to do this and me and you and the kids are going to do that, and no where in the converstation did I hear me you and chris is going to do this. And also the fact he leaves like 1-2 comments on his mysapce a day, and I'm lucky if I get one a month, and his friend has my boyfriend number 1 on his top 8 and my bf said if I wasen't number 1 on his myspace his friend would be. And I know this trip is all about him coming to visit but I just feel like I am going to be left out. Am I just over reacting, or do you think its a problem? Thanks!
203520
definately tell your boyfriend how you feel. tell him that you would like to hang out with the friend and the kids and be included in the activities. Tell him your concerns. \n\nHe might just say that maybe he does have feelings for him, but it's not like anything would happen because the other guy is straight. of course this still hurts alot, if not worse.\n\nMaybe you could find a friend of your own. If your attention is all the sudden on someone else other than your boyfriend, it might get his attention, plus you will be happier because you won't be thinking about it the whole time. Your friend wouldn't have to be another guy, it could be a girlfriend. I definately suggest not to make it more than just friends though, because that would most likely be out of spite and just hurt you and your boyfriend way more. \n\ntell your boyfriend how you feel, see what he does. just play it cool. make some new friends. best of luck hun!!
584102
Tell him you want to meet the brother and his girlfriend first, maybe at a dinner. Or better make some plans that would have you and your boyfriend around them  most of the day on a Saturday.  That way you can get to know them better and hopefully tell if you would feel comfortable with them out of town.  But just going  away with people you don't know, sounds like trouble.
463359
Honey don't waste your time and energy being jealous and hurt over this.  You need to work on your own self esteem it seems.  Your energy would be better spent building your own self confidence.  And if this relationship you have with him is going to work it will have to include trust and communication.  If you had a problem with him going to a place like that you should not have made him believe otherwise only to bring it up later.  You say you don't think he would cheat so you must have some basis for believing he will be true to you.  And I can assure you if he is going to cheat it most likely will not be with the lap dancing stripper in front of everyone.  However, I certainly would question the solidity of what this relationship is based on now if I were you.  Doesn't sound like the actions of a man who respects your relationship to me  because regardless of his intentions his actions were very public and seemingly not terribly concerned how it looked.  Now you say he is going again even after you told him you were hurt by his actions. Does he respect you or not?  Do you really care?  You make sure you are confident and sure in who you are and what you stand for.  Walk proud and do not be swayed or controlled by the actions of anyone else.  I promise you any man will be more attracted to a confident woman who doesn't give a second thought to being jealous over such things as a juvenile boys will be boys outburst meant to boost his own ego.  You will be a much happier person and there will be far fewer nights spent home alone wondering what or who he is doing.  Take care of you and the rest will take care of itself. I promise.  I don't believe in jealousy.  It is  a waste of time and energy.
649858
Have you ever talked to him about this? maybe he has o clue how you feel, maybe he thinks you don't even want to go out with him and his friends. Ask him about it, tell him how you feel. If he is getting all defensive and really not wanting you there on Saturday, you may wonder whats going on, and you can still drop in on him one night. But maybe he wants you to come, or maybe you can make compromises where he goes out the one week and stays with you the other? Relationships always are about communication. If you let the other one know how you feel, you can work on a solution together. if he really cares about you, he will be willing to solve this problem with you. Good luck!
656424
In my opinion, this sounds strange to me. Maybe her boyfriend said something to her about you after you and your fiancee' left that night. Since you just met this couple awhile back, he may be using you as an excuse to break up with her. Or he may have found you very attractive and keeps telling her that. That would make any woman upset. Whatever the case, she is mad for something her boyfriend said, not what you had said. For the dirty looks, and she tells you to go find a hobby. The man had something to do with this. If it happened to me, I would go on with my life. I don't need friends like that to ruin things for me.
155154
It's a week since you asked.  Maybe it all worked out in the meantime.  \n\nIt sounds like he's not very good to you when he's around his friend.   \nMaybe you could ask him why?  He might not have realized.  \n\nHope it works out for you.
469980
Sure he likes ya.. (he is crazy about you!) It shows again and again in what you write above! YES you are perceptive about that 'guy code.' I think he's got to work some things out in his head .. this is hard to do BUT it will pay off.. Give it a couple more months. Don't push it! You know one important thing (and it's a biggie) that this guy has got 'good morals..' If he's being respectful of his friends (I think it's kool) think how great and respectful he will be of YOUR feellings?! Am I right? This guy sounds like a real keeper, hon. You are doing o.k. too by the way by playing it cool.. keep it 'casual.'  Play back his 'hey, what's up?' to him. (Real kool how he stayed w/ya and slept there, didn't touch ya.. that what ya wrote, right? he was awkward in the morning..) He sounds like he is not going to cheat on you. (He sounds like a real dear.) I say GO for it!!!!!!
516437
Ouch!!\n\nOK to me you are doing the right thing in being honest and stopping the sleeping part of your new found friendship with this lady but I cant help feel this new friend is trying emotional black mail on you if she is living with her ex as you mentioned and who isn't to say she isn't sleeping with him why she has been with you?\nI would be more concerned about STD in this situation than her letting go.\nJust stand your ground and be firm and stick to what ever you decide.\nI think your current relationship will rekindle if you both put time and effort into it like you are.\nThey say a break is as good as a holiday.\nSadly some people can think they are in love because they are craving for any type of attention which they could be lacking in there own life or present relationship so they go and search for it else were.\nWe are all guilty of that at some point of time in our life! If we are honest.\nSo once someone nice like you seem comes along and gives them that attention and gives them the inner emotional needs like sex or comfort,then financial help and any other type of assistance whether its companionship or just a cuppa and chat and most times can be taking out of context making it hard for you in this case to break away or "get away".\nSadly some people cry wolf when they see another vulnerable person like them selves which is an easy target to latch on to.\nAs she has found with you!\nPlease just end this other connection with this other lady but sadly I cant help feel she may start giving you a hard time if not your partener of 2 years. \nAs she will feel jealouse of you going back to her and most probly wonder what is wrong with her for you to leave her after a month but honestly this her thinking and doing and not yours.\nDont fall for any emotional words as they are based on making you feel guilty..\nBe strong..And good luck.
241421
It's normal.. we all go through the same thing.. (I mean unless we had a flamin' bad break up that is!) Does the current bf know about this? ..and deal w/it? He sounds like a kool dude if so. It'd be hard, but could ya like change where ya R hangin' out, so ya 2 don't meet up? I kow it's rough if ya got the same friends, right? If ya have a bad breakup ONE of the good things about it is you got a TON of bad info. to use mentally to get over the bad dudes. I mean if he beat ya up, dissed ya, you gotta make that memory a WHOLE lot better.. (helps ya get over the hurt.) How long it been since ya broke up? It'll get better, I promise! If it's too new a hurt, I think it's kool ya got wit another guy already too.. later-     melancholia
417117
I know exactly what you are going through! I was always worried either of them were going to pull the question "Me or Him" or "Me or Her". Luckily I talked to my bff and she and I agreed on walking to school together and my bf and I walk home together, while she and our other friends walk home in an opposite shorter way home. If you end up doing something similar make sure it's even for both your bf and bff... my bf had basketball practice after school on Wednesdays so that also gave me and my bff more time together, while from 4:30-7:00 pm on Sunday nights I would go to church with my bf... so it was even and no relationship was broken... and my bff and bf didn't have to spend any time together!!
594140
The best thing you can do is approach your friend and tell him how you feel. You don't want to ruin the whole trip because of one person. If he understands then you can ask him to possibly go with her another time. Either that or you could tell him that you aren't fond of seeing hm all over his girlfriend and that you would like it if he stopped. I have been in this position before and what I did was tell her that it bothered me that they did that because it was disrespectful to me and my other friends. Perhaps you could try something similar to that. But what you really need to do is approach him and tell him how you are feeling. Don't bottle the feelings up. That's not good for your mental health.
643094
Wow, I am in a situation similar to yours as well.  My next-door neighbor and I grew up together, and I found out that he had a crush on me since we first met each other, which was about 7 years ago.  I was in a long-term relationship with my ex, but me and the neighbor remained friends throughout the whole time.  We didn't start getting closer until the summer of last year, when we started hanging out more and more, and I finally saw a different side to him, a kind, considerate, more gentler side.  We became fast friends and I started developing feelings for him.  We eventually talked about it and we aren't together now (mainly because he's in the military and is about to go to Iraq---he didn't want a relationship while he was over there), we have been talking and thinking about the future, because the feelings are definitely mutual there.  To make this long story short, you should tell your neighbor how you feel about him.  Who knows, he could have the same exact feelings.  Take things slow and gradual, and something could eventually escalate from that.  I'm very happy right now, even just as best friends, and even though it's hard for us to really hide our feelings for each other, I definitely know those feelings are still there.  Wish you nothing but the best!!!
563185
The way I see it, is he isn't really interested. That is was different just emailing each other, but when she goes for a visit, his number is changed, and no contact until she is well out of the area. And now she is moving there, and he is very busy..... One: I would find out if he is married, or has a live in girlfriend. Two: ask him straight out what the deal is. Also you say she wants to cont the "childhood" romance.... she is all grown up now. And she really doesn't know him as a person, it sounds like he has changed. But I think she should ask him if he wants to have some sort of releationship with her. Or if he was just carring on a email romance?? Tell your friend good luck, and I hope she doesn't get her heart broken.
596382
He has an insecurity complex. He's hoping if he focuses all his attention on her that she will never leave him. Most of the time this behavior 'smothers' the other person & it backfires on them. It has nothing to do with you personally. It is his own insecurity. Just let it run it's course & when he comes to you bummed after she dumps him, tell him how it made you feel & how it needy he looked to all his friends. He'll agree, but prob continue the pattern the rest of his life. Sorry
650922
Maybe you should stay friends. Boyfriends come and go. Friendship is (or can be) forever. He sounds like a wonderful friend.
342106
Since he has admitted to you that he has slept over at his ex-girlfriend's house, and since he has not changed his yahoo profile (not even after you have reminded him)... I think you should wait till he changes the profile, and wait to see if he mentions not sleeping over at his ex-girlfriend's house anymore, before agreeing to be his new girlfriend.\n\n Also... if you feel it is best to wait till you meet him, before agreeing to be his girlfriend, then you should definitly continue to insist that it is the only way you will do it.\n\nYou and your wishes/needs are important... so, if he does not agree to do it the way you need him to do it, then it would mean that he is going to do what he wants to do, and that you do not matter to him enough, that he would fiulfill your important needs.\n\nIn successful, caring/loving relationships... the needs/wishes of a partner DO matter (ARE important)... because each partner is VERY important to the other partner.\n\nWhat it all comes down to is>>> if he really wants you to be his girlfriend... he obviously needs to first be your boy-"friend"...friends certainly do care about one another's needs/wishes.\n\nI think you are already dealing with the situation in a wise way... don't let him push you into making the decision of being his girlfriend, till YOU are ready to do it.\n\nIf you give in to him about it before you are ready, then he may expect you to give him his way about other things that are against your wishes... just remember>>> YOU MATTER.
61291
I'm not emailing you...sorry, I don't need any more friends but it sounds like your not even interested in this dude. Why would you even consider dating him if you don't even like him? Remind yourself why it didn't work out with you guys to begin with and just tell him your not interested anymore. Or if you think there might stillbe something there spend some time with him as a friend. No sex or kissing...really just friends for awhile.