It seems today in this stage of life,,,,,,that the courts don't care about adultry anymore.  So how can it affect you if you date before you are divorced?  exactly what could happen?
211186
Alot of things,but each person's case is not the same. Go out to a club and ask people who've done it!!! Some people who are divorcing are okay with it,while some are not!
624731
None of the above ... I'm in the twilight zone of not divorced , not married seperateness that does not go away... cause when neither cares to remarry and yet you are still friends , why divorce?
314473
I've been on both sides of this. I lost my mom when I was only 4 years old. My dad remarried almost right away. I was too young at the time to say anything. But later he divorced her and started dating again when I was like 12 years old. None of my siblings were happy about it. We wanted our dad to ourselves.  Well, they got married. We haven't always liked her or got along. But, my dad is happy and that's all that mattera. I've been on the other side too. I dated a man who had two teenage kids. Him and his wife had divorced recently. The kids did not want their dad to date. They made life very difficult and caused me a lot of heart ache. I really liked them and just wanted to get to know them. In the end I simply couldn't do it anymore and I left. He's dating again but I think he's talked to his kids since then and they are a lot more accepting. Moral of the story: If they make your dad happy try to be happy for him. I'm sorry for your loss.
401469
according tu UK Law, its 50/50.  If you have a pre-nuptial agreement, it is not always enforcable by law.  The courts take into account who has the lesser income, that person will almost surely be granted at least half of what you own jointly, be it houses, cars, money in bank etc and if you're a housewife looking after kids, then you and the kids have to be provided for on an ongoing basis.  All wills are null and void that you've made BEFORE your marriage, because by default, your partner becomes a beneficiary if you die.  If your partner was deliberately trying to break up the marriage to eat into your possessions, you have to give evidence for this (eg adultery) and well, you need to speak to a lawyer really, if you want to see justice done.  You can contest whatever your partner claims against you if you feel s/he does not deserve it.
57768
The only dumb question is the one you don't ask.  But you're absolutely right.  Divorce is a very sad but true fact of life in today's society.\n\nThe underlying reason is probably how materialistic and selfish this society has become.  It is no longer "I need to do my part and be patient", instead it's "What have you done for me lately".  \n\nPart of it maybe the fact that men and women communicate differently.  But that's always been the case throughout history.\n\nThe other part of it is permiscuity.  Statistically, 80% of divorces are because of infidelity.  The reason this has become so is directly attributable to pre-marital sex.  People will continue to deny this, but the statistics are very clear.\n\nThink about it from a psychological point of view.  Once the heart is broken (i.e. after one's first love), it can never be put back to it's original state.  The emotional scar may heal, but it will never disappear.  This creates mistrust between the sexes.  Ultimately, people get numbed to it and it becomes a predatory game.\n\nAlso, after leaving the first partner, one becomes very curious about all potential partners.  Whereas if intimacy is saved for the institution of marriage, then the partners learn how to fully satisfy each other without any temptation from outside the marriage.\n\nThe problem only gets worse with every generation.  Once a child grows up in an environment that does not hold marriage sacred, then they will end up taking it even a step further.\n\nWe all have to learn to "love the one you're with".  No one is perfect.  Instead of listening to that little voice in your head that nags you about how annoying your partner's habbits are, learn to love those habbits.  They are what makes your partner who they are.  \n\nWe have to learn to appreciate the good and the bad.  After all, it is for better or for worse.\n\nAnd God only knows best.
91768
No one wants to be alone so I can understand your fear.  Daydreaming about being single and dating all over again?  Well you say that your husband was the only man you were with so your inexperience with the dating schene may be a little distorted.  Now I am not saying if you split up that you would not be able to find someone else.  But the dating schene has changed in 18 yrs.  Also, having kids and expecting someone to accept them can be a concern, but there are men out there that will.  I guess what I am saying is that when you daydream about something and then act on it, you may wind up in a nightmare.\n\nAs for the marriage, it is tough when one individual feels as if they put out more than the other.  I will assume that you have talked to your husband about this since you say you separated several times.  I will also assume that you have been to counseling to help in solving your issues.  But I still think you can find happiness in your marriage.  \n\nDo you feel as if your husband if asked would be willing to change???  Are you willing to examine what is bothering you inside about being with your husband???  Do you understand what divorce can do to children caught in the middle???  There are consequences to every action and dissolving a marriage is very serious.  If there has been violence or infidelity then I can understand.  I am not saying that these two reasons are automatic divorce, but they make a strong arguement for leaving.  Any other reason I think can be helped.  You say you give a 75% more than him.  Well If you gave that to solving the problems even if you were the only one initiating the change could go a long way.  You just can't continue to do what you have done in the past.  \nSpliting up didn't seem to work for you as you came back together, so your daydream must have not been your reality.\nI think you need counseling and he definitely needs to be involved.  I wish I had an answer on how to approach this.  But I would say just don't give up for the sake of giving up.  Some how you have to let him know how important this is to you.\n\nIt is up to you if you want to keep the security and comfort of your marriage.  It is not impossible to start a new relationship.  A lot of people here at answers make it seem like getting a divorce and remarrying is easy.  I don't agree with this and it is tough when you are on your own.  So beware of the advice you may receive and try to work on what you know and not dream about the unknown.  \n\nWell once again, Good luck and I'll pray for you\n\nWT
79412
Yep it is hard to get back out there after being with the same person for a long time.I Have been divorced for over 3 years separated for over 6.If you just got a divorce you probably should not jump right into a relationship.But is hard to be alone so find yourself some old friends and hang out.If you are interested in a certain type of activity hang out there and find people with same interests.I myself cannot wait for the racing season to start at the dirt tracks....And am looking forward to going to hang out and drive the go carts in cottage grove.So hang where you are interested like baseball game... and find someone female that is interested in same things and build from there.I am also from Minnesota. Good luck.
309442
Life of the people involved will be devastated and will never be the same ever again.  In divorce there are no winners, all are losers, especially the children.  So, think a billion times before considering a divorce.  Everybody should be prepared and understand what's happening.
182931
Hey, I'm in my 30's.  Have yet to find Mr. Rite, kinda getting tired of Mr. RiteNow. (know what I mean) but as they say patience is a virtue!!!!  BLECH to that...LOL  As far as I'm concerned it's too easy to get a divorce, therefore yep lotsa divorcees out there to check out.. Would be nice to know "where" to find these single guys, cuz the bars suck for that unless ur into one niters.......GOOD LUCK on ur quest!!   :)
633785
I wasnt suprised at all, almost all hollywood marriages end in divorce... most people dont spend the rest of their lives together anymore and they dont enter into marriage seriously... They think hey once things start going down hill I have a way out. No one really ever tries to work through their issues and actually tries to change and grow in their relationships anymore... At the first sign of trouble with themselves or in the relationship, they split, because divorce is just an easy way out... Its sad but true...very rarely is a marriage forever anymore
146180
This may come as crude and rough to you - but its the lack of sex!\n\nMost divorces and breakups have 'lack of sex' as the real reason for them to occur rather then what most 'given' reasons!
451840
IF YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR OPINIONS YOU MUST HAVE RESERVATIONS.  I WAS IN A 2 MO. RELATIONSHIP AND WE MOVED IN TOGETHER, IT WAS THE BEST DECISION I EVER MADE, BUT WE WERE READY.  WE ARE BOTH DIVORCED WITH NO CHILDREN.  I HAD MOVED FROM NY AND HE LIVED ON MY BLOCK, WE BEFRIENDED EACH OTHER AND CLICKED, FRIENDS FIRST SEEMS TO WORK.  YES, I KNEW IT WAS SO FAST, BUT I CONSIDERED HOW I CARE ABOUT HIM AND FIGURED THAT WHEN AN OPPORTUNITY ARISES GO FOR IT, THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.  IF IT DOES NOT WORK, I KNOW THAT I MADE AN ATTEMPT.  I FIGURED LIFE IS SHORT, IF I DONT DO IT, I WOULD ALWAYS WONDER WHAT IF.  GOOD LUCK!
565577
Shouldn't. I lived with my husband for almost 2 yrs. before we got married. Only thing that's changed is I carriy his name. We just celebrated our 30th anniversary 6/4. The only thing different is a piece of paper! Why should that change a damn thing? However you do have to work at a marriage it's not easy and some people aren't willing to do the work. Other than that I don't know what else to tell you!
306456
Been there done that...whats up with the 23rd year...Its alot of years, you'll never forget the past, my marriage was great the first 20 years, but I could see the dis-interest building as the months after pasted by...and she too felt she was no longer in love with me, however I later found out her interests were directed toward another...suggestions..Seek marriage council advice, put forth a 100% effort to resolve such conflict, and if it doesn't turn out happily ever after, if there ever was an ideal time to be single , its with a good job, no mortgage and your child a grown adult...very simular to my situation...its was 2 yrs separated and 3 years since divorce and those conditions were blessings in disguise.
146486
As long as you are just dating, yes, the child gets more attention and love.  However, in a marriage, the spouse MUST come first.  This is the main problem with marriages today - putting the kids ahead of the spouse.  Why should you stay with someone who doesn't care about you and pay attention to you????  I love my children dearly and hope one day they have wonderful, sucessful, loving marriages of their own.  This will make my husband and I happiest - to not sacrifice our marriage for our kids sake.
158726
I'm in a similar situation with 3 kids (2,5,7).  At first I thought it would be better to be with a never-married single w/o kids; now I feel that it's better to be with a divorced man with or without kids because of the similar understanding and bad experience of divorce as well as the willingness and commitment to NEVER be divorced again, especially if someone has kids, there are too many people's lives our decisions are affecting.  I also need answers...thanks for asking and good luck!
68006
You did not say how long it was since your divorce, so I'm going to assume it wasn't that long ago. My advice to you is to wait and do some soul searching, like, "what do I want in a man" and " are there some things that I need to do to improve myself before I get involved again", plus a million other questions. I know this from experience, I was married for 15 years when I left my husband and I made some really bad choices because I jumped right into dating. As for the trust thing, that's a tough one 'cause I have major trust issues myself. The best way I approach trust is not to compare every guy to my ex and I do try to give the person the benefit of the doubt. Also trust does need to be earned so do not give to much of yourself to quickly-let the guy earn your love,'cause girl your worth it!! Good luck.