My in-laws are very intense - they are from a totally different culture and speak a different language! We're going to stay with them for a month - help please?!
213708
This will be a big test of your love for your spouse if you can pull this off without wanting to get out of the family completely.  I would suggest that you go in with an open mind and a servant heart.  Show interest in the things they find interesting--especially if it is in doing things a different way than you do.  Be willing to help out with chores--not to take over--but to go along side those working to show you are wanting to be with them and learn how they like things done.\n\nMost importantly, find time for time alone with your spouse and don't vent your frustrations to him, even if he is venting his frustrations to you.  And find time alone where you can clear your mind, re-commit yourself to being a learner and servant and have a cell phone so you can call up a friend you know you can vent your frustrations to!
552859
Well, I wait a few moments to listen and figure how great their grasp on my language really is.  Appearances may deceive.\nYes, I'll speak slower (since I go fast easily) and more deliberate, and definitely use proper English (no slang, sometimes no contractions, and generic terms).  \nI might ask them to teach me something from their language (thank you, or hello, or some blessing).\nSounds like your husband provides a little entertainment!
394808
A 'knee jerk' reaction would be to poke them both in their  eyes with a Sharp stick.\nHowever, what if you had completely misread the situation, it is possible isn't it?\nSo the 'correct' response is to walk away.\nIt is really unlikely that these staff people would deliberately insult you, even if its just because you may understand their language.\nI lived for some time in a tourist type village in North Wales UK,\nI picked up quite a lot of the language and spoke to the locals in Welsh whenever I could, they mostly always spoke in their own tongue to each other.  \nIt has always surprised me when I now hear English people talking about the Welsh  using  their own language  in their own country, as if there was a big conspiracy going on .\nIf a group of overseas people are  together in America or the UK they will be much more comfortable speaking to each other in their Mother tongue, so give them the benefit of the doubt!\nThen poke their eyes out!!!\nHope this helps??
297608
Here is arecent one.  My mother in law has been ranting and raving about throwing me a baby shower since January (Im due at the end of this month)  \n2 weeks ago she tells me that she doesnt have the money anymore and she would rather just take me to the store.  So I was dissapointed, but I had to deal with it.\nSo my sister in law ends up inviting some relatives over from my dads side of the family ( I am not even close with them, she just planned the event so that I would get some seriously needed gifts) She never met Danny's mom so she didnt even think of inviting her.  it was a small get together with under 10 people.. no big deal but a great gesture!\nSo long story short, the monster in law is not speaking to me now.  Mind you this was a surprise shower I didnt know until I walked in... not only is she not speaking to me but neither are his 2 sisters.  I could have the baby any second and I feel like this tension is not only unecessary but really hurt ful and mean. \nThere is my story!
465272
Remember that mother in laws had mother in laws too.  If you get along with your mother in law, then just act normal, have fun and allow her to make the main decisions; it is of course her kitchen.  Accept her suggestions with grace and all should be fine.  If she loves to cook, she already knows what has to be done, so ask her when you get there, what she would like you to cook - whether its the potatoes, cranberries, etc.  And if you are not sure how to cook them, ask her, make her the center of the cooking and don't try to make it a competition.  Good luck
639138
GIVE HER SPACE ..AND MAKE PLANS TO GO OUT AS A FAMILY AND ONLY YOU AND HER AND IF YOU HAVE KIDS REMEMBER IT NOT THE KIDS FAULT YOU ARE THE ADULT AND YOU NEED TO OPEN UP ...MAKE HER FEEL YOUR THERE IT WILL BE HARD BUT HEY ...THAT HOW YOU START THE BOND ....................AND YES SHE IS PART OF YOUR HUSBAND LIFE SO ...MAKE THEM BOND ALSO SO SHE WONT FEEL YOUR IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM....LET THEM HAVE QUALITY TIME...ALSO...SO IF SHE IS HOME SICK PLAN TO DO THINGS OKAY..AND BE A MOTHER TOOO...OKAY..SHE IS A DAUGHTER BECAUSE SHE IS IN YOUR LIFE A HEY 3 WEEKS IS NOTHING ..SO HEY SHE NEEDS TO EAT SO HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH HER ..OR SIT WITH HER AND TELL HER .....DO YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING AND ......HEY SHES JUST 11 ...SHE IS A CHILD..
585183
Sorry you are dealing with 2 psychos that don't know their place.  I'd ignore them as much as possible, but I would put my foot down if they tried to run your life. Your hubby is going to deal with them as he chooses b/c they are his family, but I think they need to see that you are not to be messed with.  When you say no, don't waver.  They can leave if they don't like it.  Let them try to manipulate all they want. It's up to you to not allow them to mess with your life.  Your husband will see them for who they are. And he may step up and tell them to back off in private so they save face. But either way, you can't control him or them....just put your foot down.  Good luck. My mother in law is a manipulative witch.  My husband just  wants to move far away from her and gets tired of her behavior, but feels he can't change his mom.  I think he's right.
576745
You have to keep in mind if their are children involved they will always be the first priority.  You should never expect a parent to choose you over their kids. In-laws I'm a bit shaky on. But you are  not the only person w/this kind of anxiety.
214280
Keep your wife on your left side and your mother in law on your right...(the right kind of distance for both, and works well for you from what i hear!)...\n\nAs for your father in law, you dont have eyes in the back of your head do you?
75303
That is why they are called in laws..just ignore them back if they won't accept you. Try your best with them but if that isn't good enough for them than leave them alone...Lady
159837
Well you could write them a letter about how you feel and leave it at that! And then go on with your plans together. They will either learn to live with their son's decision or they won't.\n\nThe parents aren't the ones in this relationship and if you both love each other, do what you need to do to be together. DON'T NOT be  together because of them. they are not in this relationship you both are, and you two should be happy. They'll get over it, it may take years, but at least you won't have to worry about your mother-in-law butting into your business, right off the bat.
308621
It's your mother. Screw other people and what they think.  Move her into your house and let the brother in law and husband fight it out with each other. You and your mom can watch from the sidelines.
669424
Congratulations !!\n You did the right thing, you where very polite with you rejection, keeping the door open (very important) and you didn’t brake the most important rule “never mix family with business” \nI take my hat of on you, its very tough feeling handcuffed to your in-laws, the intention is good – I know, but would you & your future wife want them to know how much money you have, they will have the tools to get into your financial decisions, even if it is with a grin.\nAll couples fight!!; all bosses and employees fight at least once (even if its nothing)\nYou will be caught in the middle !! your boss = her father = your wife
286783
I can't stand my inlaws!! They are so fake! They act like they like me but, behide my back they talk about me. I have acually heard her talk about me! I can't believe they can be that way! I had tried so hard in the begining to get along with them but I stopped that a long time ago! I guess first impressions mean alot because that was when she brushed me off when I said hello. If my husban is not home and she calls I don't pick up the phone and she knows I'm home. I know that get's her upset. But I love it!! So my suggestion is focus on your fam and avoid her! But ofcoures say hello once in a blue moon. I know you not getting along with her came create unwanted problems in your relationship! Best of luck:)
474006
Relationships with in-laws can be so difficult.  I know it is none of my business, but why in the world are you living with them?!!!  It would be really nice if you and your husband could have a place of your own to live.  It would not fix all the problems, but it would certainly help out a lot.  You and your husband need to stand together whenever you confront your in-laws.  Maybe your husband needs to do the talking for both of you so they will know that you both agree with what you are confronting them about.  It will be difficult for your in-laws to accept that you and your husband are one now and that they should not interfere in your marriage.  And what is the deal with them not letting you two open your own bank account?  Aren't you adults?  Don't you have your own money?  Why is it any of their business?  Why is your husband letting them control the 2 of you?  Is he having issues "letting go of mommy's apron strings" or something?  \n\nI would suggest that you both see a family/marriage counselor and ask him to help you find a way to deal with your in-laws.  I have a similar problem with my in-laws which almost broke up our marriage, and our couselor suggested that my husband and I confront them together in a loving manner.  He said that if they still refuse to respect me and refuse to change the way they treat us, we need to stop being around them.  In my opinion, you and your husband need to make a decision to put your marriage first if you want it to survive, and do not let anything or anyone come between you.  Find a way to move out.  I'm assuming it is their house since your mother-in-law has removed your belongings from the rest of the house.  You and your husband need to put some distance between yourselves and his parents.  He needs to let them know that he has a family and responsibility of his own now that they cannot interfere with.\n\nAs for how to deal...  That is so difficult.  Continually forgive them for the things they do.  Don't hold on to grudges.  Don't let anger eat away at you or turn into hatred.  It will ruin your health, your marriage, and your whole life.  Continue to stand up for yourself and for your marriage.  And also remember that when you have a child, things are most likely going to get worse with your in-laws, so be prepared.  I wish you the best and hope that you can find your own place to live and maybe a family counselor as well.
614160
The root to your problem lack of conversation,....If there anything not right goin on , the best way to solve it is to talk openly to each other. Say your husband is up set over something that happen between his in-laws & him sometime ago, n he's not happy being with them....but for me at least he's willing to join you guy for a week. For me that's fair....Talk to your husband n make him feel good for his sacrifice....Then your job is to tell your family that your hubby has something to do........Time will heel things.....But never ever compare anybody with the past or with another person....Things can go very bad.
437883
Well, you've got to do what you've got to do, but be prepared to alienate (at least) your brother-in-law and his wife.  It sounds like he is very self centered and, I would bet, the boss in his family (strong type A personality).  I don't know where it will stop, but there will be a lot of really stinky stuff floating around-and may never dissipate.  A person with his personality will definitely blame you for the problems that arise.  From what you have said he thinks his time is far more valuable than others and, therefore, will not understand your anger.