Everyone at work has been pressuring me & my husband & son to go to their church for the past couple of years. The past month they have pressured us the most. We gave in tonight & went with them. Even though everyone was so nice & welcoming we are not comfortable there. I am white & my husband is black & the church is all white ecept for one other guy. I dread going into work now cause the pressure to go back to their church will be bad now that we went tonight. I have a really hard time of knowing how to stand up for myself. I was in an abusive marriage previously for 13 years & it is so hard for me to defend myself. I just am not comfortable in their church. I grew up in the church I have been attending for years & that is like home to me. My church does not believe in pressuring anybody. I truly need some good advice on this please. My son & husband feel the same way.
212591
I know I am going to get alot of hate mail, but here goes.\nThe Bible teaches in Matthew 24 that the chruch age has ended.  We therefore do not need to go to church to worship God.  We can do it from the comfort of our own house.  When we fellowship, one has to remember that he is fellowshiping first and foremost with God.\nLog onto www.familyradio.com for more info.\nTo answer your question, just let them know that you are exploring your options by looking at other churches now, or you are still thinking about it, or you don't have time any more.  But of course, don't go to any because the church age has ended.
423303
I know how you feel. I have / is going through something similar to your experience. I married young, I wasn't a very religious person neither was my husband at that time. As months went by he started to get more religious and more involved with our church and he started dictating the way I should dress and the way I should act. Forcing me to do many things in the name of religion that I hated.. subsequently, because of this I started slacking of on my religious duties.. I know it is wrong but he made me hate the religion and everything that has to do with it. Religion stops at the bedroom door.. God did not dictate what you can and what you cant do with your wife/husband . It's bringing pleasure to the person you love and in doing so you are being a good person. Trying a different position or trying something new is not sacrilegious. The problem is.. you have wonderful sex with your lover, but that is scars .. and you are left in the meanwhile with an unwilling partner and many temptations.. I say don't get tempted to have another affair.. you will only complicate your life with the lies, hiding and sneaking. And believe me it will only make you despise your husband more and you feel more frustrated with the relationship. Try to talk to hubby again.. explain to him the severity of the lack of passion. If that doesn't work my advice is, consider your options.. are you willing to scarifies the marriage and your position in the society to fulfill your sexual desires or can you find means of self satisfaction..an uncomplicated affair ? You might be a better person because you won't feel as guilty as you do right now and have some peace with your self and with God... Best of Luck...
132375
Was raised in a house like that.  Believe me, I understand. I used to go to my room just to shut them out.  As far as the workplace, it's hard because you actually want to get along.  If we don't participate, people will soon learn that we are not going to fan their fires and turn away from us.  If they are face-to-face, I just have a blank stare for a short time and that reflects to them their words, not my reactions.
239466
My dear, I believe God wants you to talk to him. Even if it's just to say what has been happening. God works in strange ways, but I really think that maybe you should softly witness to him, as in not being too thick with it. I don't know why you two aren't together anymore, but maybe you should reach out to this man and tell that you are still very concerned and possibly(?) still have a very deep love for him. Please don't waste time reading a bunch of answers, there has to be a real reason for the dreams and feelings that you are having. Please call him today and ask if you could meet for coffee or dinner just to talk and catch up. By-the-way, as a step-mom I know how it feels to hear those words, whatever happened between you two CAN  be worked out. A real love isn't something to give up w/o a fight. He may have been using the bible to his advantage but fussing at him for it or talking down to him would probaly push him away. Either way good luck and God bless you for having such a strong faith. Please feel free to email me at mrsbrandyhall@yahoo.com if you just want somebody to listen and understand (of course I'll help w/ as much advice as you want). Let God work through you; don't fight Him on this.\nBrandy\n\n       (&#92;./)\n       (':')\n      (")(")
7849
Remember that there will always be people or messages that will challenge your beliefs.  If you believe God and in his only Son Jesus Christ in your heart, then nothing or no one can change that.  Don't let them doubt yourself, or even make you angry.  Try to show them how what you believe has affected you, but don't get in a fight.  Most of all, don't let anyone make you doubt your faith.
452469
Ok, I know I'm gonna tick some people off with my opinion so do what you feel you gotta do......I use to be involved with them for about 15 years until I finally figured out what they were all about and kicked them to the curb....even if they don't all do what your co-worker and his wife are doing...trust me when I tell you that they are trying to be slick, they try to be reeeeeeeeel nice to you with all that sharing stuff in hopes of gaining your trust in hopes of you letting your guard down so they can put the squeeze on you to take a bible tract or start talking to you about Jehovah while all the time looking for an opening to invite you to the Kingdom Hall.  I've learned that you HAVE to be as you put it BLUNT AND DIRECT to them or they will NEVER leave you alone.  And he has alot of nerve telling you that you need to work on being so blunt when they need to work on taking NO FOR AN ANSWER if you were being REALLY blunt he and his wife would've understood by now that you don't want to hear that crap.
436275
I call this bullying, especially the bits about not giving you your work and shouting at you in front of other people.  Is there a personnel department or union you can see about this?  If not, I suggest you look for another job before you get symptoms of stress.
426272
Jesus slapped the taste out of the Pharisees mouths by his words.  I imagine he would do the same to those judgemental people at that church.  You made a mistake, you have accepted the outcome, you realize and admit that you did wrong, now can't they just put it aside and help you raise your child?  Apparantly not.  You are very right for leaving that church.  The Bible never said we must go to church to have a relationship with God.  It does talk about not forsaking the gathering together of believers though.  Talk to other people who believe in God (not only Christians)...as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens the countenance of their friend.  God bless you and your daughter.  Thank you for bringing her into the world.  =)  I'm sure God would be pleased.
190822
I tried to work on my brother since I became a Christian 5 years ago.  He would come to church then he would not.  Nothing stopped him frlom being him (lacking love)- cursing ALL THE TIME for no reason even.  Hated people tremendously.  Did not trust anyone.\n\nSix months ago, my daughters and I were stranded (my car would not start) after a Youth function at the beach.  As we knew we're having to wait for some time, I was led to do an Intercessory prayer - I asked the girls and they chose to pray for my brother & his family to come to know the Lord.  It lasted for at least 20 minutes or so - then the tow truck came.  That was the beginning of REGULAR prayers to God to open their (my brother & family) hearts to hear HIS voice; that they would hunger & thirst for God's Word in their hearts; and prayer that God would speak to them thru us.\n\nAbout two and a half months ago, their son was the first to come to our Youth group - then my brother - and then now the girlfriend.  We are now on our 5th Tuesday of bible study which THEY (my brother & his family) had requested.  \n\nMy brother changed his work schedule to be home on Tuesday nights.  Our studies sometimes last 2-3 hours of intense dissection of each verse in a chapter.  I see the humbling transformation taking place.  He no longer starts fights/arguments at his work; he speaks much gentler to his family; he reads the Bible every single day (sometimes hours- just so hungry for God's insight); my daughter said that recently he caught himself cursing and immediately apologized (that's UNheard of!).  And here's the icing on the cake.  Even my father (uncertain faith) has been there to join us each week -questioned a lot of things in the beginning and now started to see clearer and clearer - Halleluiah!\n\nDid this happen because of me?  NO, I really don't think so.  I believe that when we ask for God's help & guidance in terms of witnessing to others, He TRULY will be there for us and the people you're witnessing to. \n\nWe're still waiting for his daughter to join us.  Four NEW passionate believers out of five - is NOT BAD AT ALL!  I strongly believe that God has not given up on my niece.  The Lord is still working on her heart - it's a promise that I know will come to pass.  What an amazing God we serve!\n\nAlways pray for God's blessing before witnessing that HE would speak thru you - we're just instruments of HIS!  Plus living what we're preaching - - - Walking the talk is very, very important!\n\nGreat Question!  May God be with you as you continue to share the living light with them!
449613
Replace the stress with faith. Faith and fear cannot exist in the same place together.\n\nPray- God will not give you more than you can handle. He has told us that. So, with that knowledge.. he is teaching you something. Look for what it is....maybe its endurance.\n\nIf this gives you any peace... there are many I know who are going thru lots of trials right now. Great people, good members of my church. I think the Lord is preparing his elect for something that is ahead of us.\n\nRead scriptures and pray.......replace that stress with faith. Trust him...he does love you. He knows your very name, your very thoughts and heart.  You are a devine daughter of a Loving Eternal God. You are HIS daughter. That makes me feel fabulous when I am down. \n\nNow, go eat a big lunch and put a smile on your face. This too shall pass....
662446
The church I attend is more like a family in that we make it a point to be involved in each others lives.  We "deal with" the good, bad, and ugly (so to speak).  My wife and a good friend started a clothing ministry which provides clothing to the needy.  We are also working with recent African refugees that escaped the killings in their country and are now lost in this one.\n\nI personally am always looking for ways to help others.\n\nBy the way, this church "family" has a lot of us who are going on a motorcycle ride after church today as it is "Biker Weekend" here.\n\nCome visit if you're ever in town.
42044
Religion is a touchy thing.  As a minister, I cannot honestly say that I encourage the forcing of ones beliefs on another.  There just isn't precedent for it.  However, if the underlying issue is that what he says bothers you, that is something you can, and should, discuss with him.  If you should choose to, make it a point to not be confrontational.  If it comes across as an attack, he will defend himself, regardless of the reasoning behind it.  If, however, it's worded more carefully, gently, if you will, he should be more receptive.  The key thing is to pay careful attention to what he says.  You'd be amazed what sort of clues people drop in every little thing they say, in regards to how they're feeling, or what they mean by something.  Granted, I have no specifics in this case from with which to work, but in general, the above guidelines should be sufficient.
597024
Linda, Sweetie, one of the very FIRST things you need to learn as a Christian in Yahoo, is patience. You're gonna run into alot of these abusive comments, some people think they are being witty.  If they manage to get a rise out of you, they think they have somehow "proved" some sort of point.  I think they figure that Christians aren't supposed to get angry, or have hurt feelings, and when we react to such vicious comments, they can congratulate themselves that they have provoked us, and therefore, our God must not be real.\nWhen you really stop and think about it, they need our love and our pity much more than we need their approval.  Pray for them, but, don't let them push your buttons.\nGod bless you.
432767
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.  You must be feeling terrified right now.  I'll pray for you, your husband, the doctors and your children.  I'll pray that you are surrounded by strength and that you will absolutely feel comforted and supported.  And I'll pray that whatever happens you will all be well.
102958
Your husband is absolutely correct hon and you should listen to him for his heart is in the right place. I am a person who doesnt have much of a faith but was brought up christian and am with a Jew.  Quite the mix according to our families.  You just have to hold your head a little higher and know that your heart is where it belongs.  If it gets hard just let it out from time to time.  The comments will come but remember they are only words and when you are home and night you can close the door and not let the world inside.  I wish you luck hon.
288061
well, it kinda depends on what your issues with that church were.  Is it a church where you feel that you are being spiritually led and where you feel the leaders of the church including the pastor are looking for God's will in the church?  Those are the most important things...if you feel God's sincere presence there and that they are doing God's work.  Then you can overlook or work with them to solve other petty problems.  Good luck and God bless.
365638
I think that we all struggle in our faith one way or another. Questioning God's existence doesn't really cross most of our minds. We may question why He allows things to happen or we may even question our own Christian walk and our relationship with God. My pastors -and I've had a few in my life -haven't been perfect. In fact there was one who was my Dad's boss that treated his underlings shabbily and used the church vehicle for personal business. I think he may've even taken some of the better donations given to the church for his own. I do know that he was eventually caught by his bosses with his hand in the cookie jar and in adultery. He was speedily fired. As for weird things in a worship service? I recall visiting a Charismatic service to see what it was like. I met one of those pastors who held rather rambunctious healing services. You know the type.; they call you forward for healing even though you haven't volunteered or asked for it. He claimed -a few times- to be given a word of knowledge about some type of secret sin in some person's life. I found this made me extremely uncomfortable because I do not believe that God would humiliate an individual in this manner. Nor do I think that Jesus would compel anyone to come for healing. God is a Gentleman, and He never forces Himself on anybody. Neither should His servants