I was in a cult for 12 years. When I left, I felt emotionally & spiritually dead. I got out 11 years ago, but still dream at least twice a week, that I am still with them.  It is never the same dream, but I am back in the cult in the dreams & feel emotionally & spiritually suffocated in them. I feel one needs to forgive to move on, which I try to do, but still the dreams come.
210512
Have you try professional help? You seem to be suffering from post traumatic stress. \nThere are many place that can help you.In the meantime, try keeping a diary with your thoughts. \n\nSleep with the radio or television on. It has been shown they will effect your dreams. Try to set the alarm clock so that you will wake up suddenly. If you wake up slowly you are more likely to remeber your dreams.
135509
There is no quick fix.\n\nI often feel sorry for people when they see themselves as "saved" just because they took on a new belief. I respect the teachings of St. John of the cross who explains that unconsciousness must be transformed by the light of consciousness. In other words, you have to be present enough to see, feel, and experience your demons rather than pretending they just went away because you believe something.
193070
I think that often we gain perspective with age.  Often the people trapped by cults are younger people who are searching for something and haven't found it yet.  They are easy prey for cultists. People often leave cults of their own accord when they get older and they can, as you say, step back and consider what they are doing.
477837
I need a little more information to know what kind of advice to give you.  But in general, I have had a few times when I felt the war for my soul.  My faith in God and my belief in his love for me saved me.  Plus angels sent to protect me and deceased loved ones who might be able to help.  \n\nThe demons will always try to hit while you are at your weakest and use any thing to make you believe what you are hearing them say.  I have always questioned the words I hear.  They will lie to make you believe but they also cant say that they are from God.  The lies will not be the same twice.  \nI have not had any experience with exorcism or demons who will not leave when I have told them to go.  And used the Lords name to send them away from me.  \nI have a few different incidents that whether they were real or a dream, I still have a strong impression from them and what I saw or heard.\nI hope you find the advice you are needing.
2972
OH YEAH ... not a very good feeling, being detached.  I have also felt like I was, literally, in a dream.  It was weird, like no one saw me but I saw them.  It wasn't like I was being ignored, just as if I was watching "life" go on and kinda like I was a ghost.  Is that what you meant?
129330
In Oct. 1985 i had a near death experince..it happend at the result of a motorcycle accident.it is a very long story for me to write but im in the process of writting a book,in short.\n\nafter the accident i got up and thanked god that nothing happend to me,but when i looked down i saw my own bloody body is lying down on the road,at first i was extremely scared.coz i didnt know who am i?and who is the body is lying there.after following my body to the hospital and hearing that they pronounced me dead.i thought of my mother and in an instace i was at home and could read my mothers thoughts.i was there when they got the phone call from police letting them know i was dead.and right after i travelled through the tunnel.at the end of tunnel i saw my dead grandmother standing.i also saw my cousin who had been drawned years earlier, a lot of dead family members but before they can embrace me suddenly my dead dog jumped on me.boy i was happy to see him.a lot more happend when i was there.i cant write about it coz it will take hours to explain,finaly i was told it is not time for me and i had to return.i resist it.and i said there is no way i will go back this is home and i want to stay.they told me that they will show me a hallograh,it was a about my purpose to fulfill,and they told me i dont remember anything after they show.next thing i woke up with incredible pain all over my body with a white sheet over my face.i removed the sheet.first thing i saw was a nurse screaming halelua.it is a miracle.my experince is incredibly close to betty eddie's experince the author of embraced by the light,at first i didnt realized what happend to me and after years of reading i slowly grasp the reality.after that my state of conciouness has been alterd.i know stuff without knowing why.i hear people and dont know why.people around me consult me before opening up a bussiness they think my opinion will help them.if i feel bad about something they dont do it.i dont realy know whether im right or not.but this is what they feel and believe.about your husband,i promise you he is healthier and happier than ever,every day he is watching you.sending numerous siganls to tell you he is ok and he is with you.but you have to educate yourself and practise to talk to him.it is easy.it just needs your determination and commitment,i talk to my mother who died in 1996 all the time,she has warned me about a lot of dangers.you are destined to wake up.continue searching,a lot of good thing will happen to you by 2009,i promise you,YOU WILL WAKE UP,just listen to your intuitions,listen to your higher self,you will know the truth,it will come your way.\nmay love and peace be upon you\nrobert\n*ps for years i havent talked about it.but it is not a secret anymore.thousand and thousands of people have NDE,humanity is ready to hear about it.we are destined to wake up.by dec. 21, 2012 the one that are suppose to wake up, they will,we are destined to become 4th dimension enteties,just pay attention to your surrondings,try to see it.time for the change of conciousness has arrived.
164126
I would not be in any realtionship untill I figured out myself.  I had a void for 27years and felt the same way.  I would scream out on occassion "GOD IF YOU'RE REAL HELP ME!!!!" and nothing would happen.  but one day I got on my knees and said "GOD, I love life and people and want to be a big part of it, please help find the way and I will live your way."  I sware to god my life changed.  I dropped a drug and alchol problem and have zero desire to return. (trying to fill that void) I went from my longest relationship of nine months to being happily married about 2yrs later.  I am still married and have 4 beautiful and incredible children.  No exaggeration I love life truely and feel like I lack nothing.  We all have issues to deal with but we all don't to have voids to fill. (Sorry so long)
323367
I actually had a dream that my family moved and it was a terrible dream and a bad situation.  We had just moved about a week before, so I blew it off.  About a month later my husband lost his job for something stupid and we moved.  When we got to the house we got our U-haul stuck in the mud in our yard and at some point I was looking at the U-haul and the house, and it was just the same as in my dream.  It didn't make me feel ant better knowing that I had dreamt it.  Best wishes
233858
You and she are in my prayers.  I had a really awesome best friend who went into a diabetic coma in her sleep (she was type I DM) a few years ago and never came to.  I know the feelings you are experiencing and only God can comfort those who suffer because He truly knows their hearts and what is going on.  I pray you are able to find comfort =)
522751
I am sorry,  my grandmother has lost her will to live after my father died three years ago, I do not believe you will ever get over it, I think you may be able to one day accept your child died,  but you will always grieve and feel your loss, I am not sure the goal is too get over it, I was devastated when my father died and I know this cannot compare honestly if my children died, I would probably semi lose my mind at least temporarily. and I know I would become a humanitarian worker on the international scene for human rights watch or red cross, in the thick of things. and I would have a very nomadic lifestyle, however I still  feel the hole that was ripped open in my soul the day my father died, I do not believe it will ever go away, church made me feel worse. the funeral was horrible .I told the priest he was full of it ,and so was his religion ,which offered no comfort .and I informed him  that my father detested religion,I can relate to not wanting to hear the empty god comments. what surprisingly helped me , was a support group for grief victims ,people who had the same or similar experiences .I would have never  joined a group like this, but it was a service offered ,because I donated his organs.and amazingly just the pamphlets generated from the group touched me and helped ease my grief, I know it sounds like it will do no good, but It is truly worth a try, for you to get in touch with other parents who lost their children, I know I saw a persons 360 page on yahoo ,the mans child died and the support from the online community was amazing .I am not sure this will help you as much as a real group ,but not feeling alone in your anger is crucial to feeling better, it is most difficult to hold on to yourself or soul ,if you believe in that, when you are filled with misery ,it is so much harder to love yourself,life, or anything than it is to hate .and making that human connection with others that can truly understand you rather than dismissively wish you well or try to say something they think you want to hear, is the first step in regaining the feeling of control and a new perspective , I also encourage you to visit my 360 page and dont read it ,cause I am bad and while I try to remain positive, I do tend to gravitate to the darkside at times, but go to my friends list  find Skyes avatar click on it and visit skyes page, this beautiful woman is a well of positivity, and spiritual well being .and just reading her blogs make me feel better and I am sure they can touch your heart as well
590002
Yes. I have a very difficult time forgiving myself for many of my shameful actions, even though I've asked the Lord for forgiveness. In fact, some of the things that I regret I still ask forgiveness for, many years later. I know I don't need to, but I just feel so incredibly terrible about those things. I want so badly to be the person that God wants me to be. I want to have Christ-like qualities. It is so hard for me to understand why I can't get there! I struggle almost everyday with self control (especially control over my tongue). I would give pretty much anything to consistently maintain my self control, and yet I can't without God's help. I have found that if I forget to pray before I go to sleep (and thus forget to sincerely ask the Lord to allow His Holy Spirit to be with me every second of the following day to help me with self-control), I have a very hard time the next day. If I do ask, it's so much easier - I mean VASTLY different. I don't know why it seems as though God wants me to request help every night, but I'm sure He has a reason. Probably to get me to rely on Him more. That would be a good reason. When I lose my self-control and yell at my little ones, I feel so much remorse. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so my 4 and 2 year old are the ones who try my patience.  :o)  That is to be expected, and is not their fault (sometimes it is, but not usually)! I want to be a calm and predictable mommy, but it's very hard for me. That's all I have to say, as I am tired now and need sleep.  :o)
6413
Kiara, no.  You are not alone in your feeling.  But may I make a suggestion?\n\nI grew up in a family where people routinely stabbed each other in the back.  It was a very unhappy place, and for most of our lives, certain people within the family came to resent others....this has lasted a lifetime in some instances.\n\nBut you have a choice to make, and let me tell you how I made mine; I came to know the love of Jesus Christ.  So no longer is my life about, who did what to me.  My life is about how to learn to love others unconditionally, as God loves me.\n\nYou have a choice to make too; which end of the pencil do you wish to use in your life?  The one that is continally writing down the offenses people give you...or the one that is continually erasing offenses, always forgiving, showing kindness with no expectation of return?  I can tell you one thing for sure; the second choice above will bring a life of peace and fulfillment; the first a life of bitterness and resentment.  The choice is yours to make.
152435
Have you seen a horror film lately? The brain stores alot of information from what we hear, feel, see, sense, smell and touch even subconciously. It is likely that you felt fear sometime and the brain never let go of the emotion. You did not state how many nights, you've been dreaming this same dream. If you want an interpretation of your dream, as in a literal interpretation, you can check out dream guidelines. But as far as i know, death in dreams is more likely to be followed by death or grieving in real life. \n\nAlso, what is your religion? You could cast out your nightmares in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. \n\nEver heard of the word "twilight?" It means your half-asleep and half-awake. This could explain why you wake up feeling the pain you felt why dreaming.
189001
I know exactly what you are going through, and you have every right to be angry with God. I know I was, screaming raving angry for over 10 years after I left. And then I found a few answers, although at some point I just had to choose to make peace with myself and move on. One of the answers; God gave each of us free will, he will not go back on his word and take it away, not even when it is abused.You are here, which means he gave you strength to survive, and he can help you make peace with your past. Also, several times in the Bible life on Earth is referred to as a test. May I suggest a place that really helped, isurvive.org is a wonderful place.\nAnd, as far as "scientific facts", I know that is intro classes to both sociology and psychiatry you learn that people of faith do tend to live longer and with fewer occurrences of depression. To be fair, this is true for anyone who is spiritual, not just Christians.
615019
welcome to the club sister.  I don't think you have a problem at all.  I think that you are a free thinking and open minded person.  It's when you feel that pressure to conform and be like everyone else and resist it, that you truly begin to gain a greater perspective of reality.  I suggest you read "the herd" chapter from Nietzsche's "Beyond Good and Evil".  This is the book in which the phrase was coined "God is dead".  Don't let that scare you.  What I think he really meant to teach was that organized religion and the God they invent is dead.  He challenges you, in the chapter entitled "the herd", to ask yourself if all these things that people are telling you that "God" has said are indeed from "God".  Or, are they something made up by leaders of church to influence the masses opinions to get a desired social result.  That result is control.  Don't let anyone but God control you.  He wouldn't force control on you.  He doesn't want to control you.  He offers suggestions and you choose freely.  To me though, all this damnation and hellfire are not products of Christ at all.  Christ is like the sweetest friend I have ever had.  I don't live right at all.  I have done bad things in my life.  Yet, he has never left me.  People, on the other hand, have behaved terribly...  and for that matter... so have I at times.  I decided that I would not be controlled by "the herd" either.  People will accuse you of rebellion.  Rebellion it may be, but against whom?  God?  I don't think so...  The "herd", definitely.  I had to separate myself from them, and while it is lonesome at times, it is at least free.  Knowing God should never feel like being in a social or political prison in which you are interrogated and punished.  They're like religious nazis and they have confused social control with God.  Welcome to freedom sister.  You may find groups that you "fit" with...  I never did.  This is the tragedy of the genuine individual.  Perhaps you should start your own "group" on yahoo groups.  If you do, let me know, and I will join.  This topic is certainly worthy of discussion.  Don't feel like you are alone.  There are many, many, people who have went through this...
645645
7yrs?! i thought you would have been familiar with it by now?..lol\n\ni cant really answer yout question as i was once told that dreams are the one factor of the human brain's activity that hasn't produced any concrete scientific explanation.\nbut for most, dreams seems to strike a slight resemblance to our own life's proceedings and a person can usually make sense of their dreams by applying it to their real life's situation..\nfor example, a person dreaming about funerals or graveyards may have experienced a loss of loved one and this plays on their mind...\n\nin your case, the dream seems unclear, even after you've had it for several years.\nfrom my point of view, it seems like your dream is your subconcious state of mind and your true feelings in regards to your life..\nmaybe you feel stiffled?...trapped in job? or a situation that has been unresolved for a while?\ni really wish there were scientific explanation for why we dream...all we ever seem to conclude is supernatural mumbo jumbo from dream interpretation books..\nat the end of the day, i think you may have chosen to forget about an issue? bottled it up maybe?\nwhat you need to do is try and log when you have the dream and what is different in it?\nthere may be that you may actually be in a different house, but the fact that it has no doors and rooms means that u think it is the same one again..\nnext time you have it, write it down, describe it vividly and then if you have it again...you can see how similar it is...\nyou may find that there's something slightly different which may reflect a position in your life?\n\nhope it sorts out and you attain closure on these dreams\nmaybe one day we'l know what our dreams REALLY mean\nall the best
331221
I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years, during my teens. Throughout the relationship, I was physically tortured (not just beaten, by any means), sexually abused and raped on a regular basis, and forced to watch atrocious acts toward animals. When I finally got out, I immediately started smoking pot very heavily, and I assumed I was pretty much fine, except that I had clinical depression. A couple years later, I got pregnant and abruptly stopped smoking pot (and cigarettes, alchohol, caffeine and antidepressants). Suddenly Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder set in. All of these seemingly unrelated (to the abuse) sounds and sights began to bring on strong physical flashbacks of what it felt like to be sexually violated. 7 years later I am still fighting this every day. I have been to therapists, psychiatrists, counsellors and doctors and, although they have been able to help me with my other issues (depression, anxiety, self-esteem isues, etc.) they haven't offered any effective treatment for the Post Traumatic Stress. About 7 or 8 minths ago, I tried Reiki, and it has been the only thing to give me ANY releif from my PTSD symptoms. It's a lot better, but still there, and it REALLY sucks because when I get triggered, it actually feels like I am being touched "down there" against my will. Of course there is a lot of tension, anxiety, depression and anger as a result of reliving (and desperately trying to AVOID reliving) the physical sensations of being raped each day. I have never been able to work, because of this, but I've been told I do an excellent job of raising my daughter, who is almost 7. Though I may not have many conventional accomplishments under my belt, I feel like just having survived this, and also overcoming my addictions are HUGE accomplishments, and I don't know if many other people could have made it through what I have, and still have a positive attitude, and hope for the future. So, I'm proud of me!