Is this supposed to be love?  As women, why do we let the men in our lives abuse our spirit?  Some of us repeat the same mistakes repeatedly?  Anyone have any theories?  Religious or otherwise?
212861
are you talking rape? or pressure to have sex? cause if your are i think that it's htat men have learned that it's ok to take advantage of women. \n\nalso women have become so dependant on the attention of men that we will do anything for it even that which we would not wish to do.\n\nalso since you said it was ok to bring religon in, there is a pasasge in teh bible about the fall of man and the first sin, and the curse on man because of it.\n\n16 To the woman he said, \n       "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; \n       with pain you will give birth to children. \n       Your desire will be for your husband, \n       and he will rule over you." \n\n 17 To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and \nsinned,"\n       "Cursed is the ground because of you; \n       through painful toil you will eat of it \n       all the days of your life. \n\nso basicall he told women that we would want to be with men, and they would use force against us because of our sinfull nature.\n\nit doesn't have to be that way because of the coming of jesus, but we still let men rule over us and men still do wrong things for physical pleasure.
605711
Did it ever occur  to you that people don't do everything to gain something for themselves but only out of love?\nPeople who are interested in helping you believe in God only want to share what they have found with you. \nYou are still free to reject it and they should respect your choice.
629942
Third time was the charm for me.  But if I had not gone through the 2 bad marriages, struggled through the tribulations, cried the tears, grew the backbone, etc...I wouldn't be the person I am.  I would not be worthy of this wonderful love I finally found.  My grandmother used to say God is cruel, but His cruelty is refining. Hardships refine our souls. Make us better people if we let them.  Love has to be hard because we need those lessons.  But remember, real love is kind, thoughtful, truthful, real love never belittles, or injures.  Real love is sometimes silent.
279541
Thanks for asking.I am fine.Track record for relationship love was yucky. Have great children,wonderful sisters thats all i need. Thought for years whats love got to do with it,Then lucky for me 2 years ago I found out.Everyday with him i find out more. Our world is just that.OURS we put ourselves in some messes clean some up and pretend the others are someone else's problem.I'm fine I worry about our generations to follow
385324
I would say by your question that a woman has just burnt you pretty bad. There are men out there the same way. I hate it when a woman or man takes another person that loves them so much for grant and then burns them. Like the old saying goes...one bad apple spoils it for the whole bunch......not all people treat other people badly. If they really did love that person they would NEVER treat them bad. If two people really do love each other there is no reason what so ever to manipulate the other for power, or anything else for that part. It should be 50/50 no  matter what.
373418
relationships, and love for that matter, are not supposed to be judged/prejudged based on one event.  love is a decision to commit, not blind faith based on perceived symbolisms.  God has a reason for everything, every time.  It's not just the "ME" and the "NOW."
155471
Are these girls still living? \nAs long as women still think it is normal to be beaten up by men who profess to "Love" them they will never be fully emancipated. Come on ladies it's the 21st century for gods sake!
499782
First of all, as a fellow brother in Christ, I want to commend you on your commitment to save sex for marriage. Too often we see people today giving into the pleasure of a few minutes, only to suffer a lifetime of pain and hurt in the future.\n\nI don't normally answer questions on here, but the situation you are in is too similar to mine for me to ignore.\n\nI have been a Christian all my life, and constantly seek to glorify Him by living and dedicating my life to Him. I also believe that sex is the ultimate expression of physical love, and is the most special gift anyone can present to the person that they want to dedicate the rest of their life to. If someone commits premarital sex, they are giving that gift away, and tarnishing any future romantic relationships they may have.\n\nNow, obviously, I am a virgin; and am extremely proud of this fact. I cannot wait to let my future wife know that I've saved myself for her. Instead of channeling my energy and resources to fulfill sexual needs, I instead look to strengthen my character and serve others.\n\nBut I've recently fallen for this girl.... She's a born again Christian, who was saved this past summer. However, her previous life was filled with sin, as she drank and had sex with guys before me, enough guys to number on 2 hands.\nI was so devastated when I found out. I was literally torn because I only had one romantic relationship before this point, and had only gone as far as a kiss.\nNeedless to say, I was more than a little hurt. In fact, I don't believe anything or anyone else hurt me as much as she did when she told me that.\nI was ready to just end things at that point.\n\nBut then I remembered. If God, who is the only one who is perfect and holy, can forgive us for all our sins without judgment, who are we to judge others and use their past against them. If she really came to God after her mistakes of the past, and surrendered herself to his forgiveness and mercy, then she is literally, emotionally, and spiritually a new person.\nGod calls us to forgive one another, and if a perfect God can forgive our sins, both past and current, without question (as long as we are sincere!) and love us with the greatest love of all; shouldn't we as Christians (who are also guilty of sin) replicate that love toward one another?\n\nI'm not saying it's easy. My heart aches and burns daily from the suffering that her past brings to me. But I trust that God will allow us to overcome this obstacle, and allow our relationship to prosper. As the first guy she even kissed after God came into her life, I know that she's changed.\nI'm going to continue to trust in God that He will allow me to get over her past; because who she is now is someone who makes me happy and has allowed me to experience love.\n\nIf you really love your girlfriend, pray about it. She's a new person now, she has Jesus in her.\nPlease keep Jesus Christ in the center of your life and of your current relationship. That's the only way that your relationship will be able to reach it's true potential.\n\nBe blessed.\n\nIn Him....
506074
At this point.  thanks for confirming the word I got from Holy Spirit a few moments ago....be back later, possibly much later.  I do cherish some relationships I have formed with believers and 2 people I saw saved.  But it is becoming harmful.\n\nBlessings,\nDavid
455816
Well, being a young woman waiting on the husband that God has for me, I can see precisely what you are saying. I am a confident young lady and yes I have had the upper hand with most of the men that I have dated. But I do not believe that it is because I am pushy. I believe that men have lost their rightful place in the household, men need to grow some backbone and stop letting women run all over them. I am not saying that a man should be violent to hold his place. He shold be firm yet gentle. Women also need to stop jumping into marriages that God didn't have favor over so then they would not have to show thier witts so much because the man that God has for them will respect them for what God has made them to be (by then, they woman will have already found herself). I am tired of my female friends who always have the same man problem when they need to find God and find who he made them to be. No man wants an annoying woman andthat is stated in the Bible because Solomen said it is is better to live on the corner of a rooftop than in a house with a quarrelsome wife.
386039
My "group" was all self-abusers.  That is we we're all either "cutters" or people who punished themselves some way physically and made ourself hurt in the process.  We were all also sexually abused by people we loved as children, which then confused us as we grew up to adulthood.  (What does it mean when someone who says they "love you" treats you that way?  Is that what LOVE IS?  That's one of your only examples of love and it is your father, grandfather, etc., so shouldn't you BELIEVE THEM?  So, I was invited to this group BECAUSE we had similar interests . . . \n\nI hope that your group does too.  It really helped after listening to OTHER PEOPLE who went thru what you did.  Even tho you wish they hadn't had too, it made you feel part of the world, not left out, freaky and alone like usual.  This should be the point of group to me.  To "connect" you to others, to show you that your not alone and that others have survived!\n\nIn group you should be free to talk about anything, anything that bothers you.
334304
I don't know how they can share their husband. Me personally I couldn't do it.I think these women have low self esteem and don't value themselves.I would be jealous and would constantly question his love for me. Guess, I wouldn't have survived in Biblical times...lol
230045
I actually said the same thing about my husband.  Around me he is totally different then when he is with his friends.  I finally just asked my husband what the deal was.  He looked at my puzzled, and replied that of course he acts differently around me.  I couldn't understand it.  He told me that the way he acts with me is how he wants me to see him.  The way he loves me.  The way he acts with his friends is just being one of the guys.   I told him that he cusses, drinks when he's with his friends but not around me.  He said he respected me to much to act that way with me.  Its a guy thing.  I've learned to live with it.
4110
FAR too many..\n\nI would say 80% of the women I know on yahoo either their previous relationship was abusive or their current one is.  Maybe thats why they come here....\n\nMental abuse abounds.\nControl issues top the list.\nFollowed by Attacks on self esteem\nPhysical abuse is alot more rare but I would still say 20% or so of the people I talk to have had a physicly abusive relationship...\n\nSomedays its enough to make you cry, and wonder why we are so sick.
465851
I've been married 28 years ,and it's still in doubt .It seems the spirit and the flesh are somewhat incompatible .You can do what you want, it seems to quench the spirit tho for a time .
189915
Dr. Phil addressed this on one of his shows.  He said that it can be an addiction and that it is not fair to the woman!!!  Each time it happens it is like a betrayal and it tells the woman that you are not what I desire.  Plus it hurts like hell!  I had problems with this personally and I almost lost the man I am about to marry.  We argued over this for over 2 years while dating and engaged.  Finally, he got some good advice from his Dad and told me that he would give it up if it bothers me that much.  It's hard to trust again after this happens but it is worth it if you love him.
662522
LUCKY,hmmm.......  pondering  ...huh    yeah..  ok...   what in the hell kinda questions is this.....do you think that we like to act that way or make others around us feel bad.....its not choice...its misery....sorry for your misinformation.....\n\nI know in your manly world that is seems awful and I am sorry but show some love for the women who are in the pain once a month...come on...