My family has no idea I'm a lesbian.  I don't look like the stereotypical version of what they think homosexual women look like (neither does my girlfriend).  We spend a lot of time together, in fact all of our time together, and still they don't know.  I know I'm sort of chickening out, but I kind of wanted them to just figure it out.  Unfortunately they haven't.  What's the best way to tell them.  (And yes, several members of my family are incredibly religious.)
209234
one day when your around your family and she is leaving kiss her good bye on the mouth and go from there if she is who you want to be with dont let your familys opionion affect your decision if they love you they will support you and if they dont dont worry about it
54195
some people choose to have a third party present, such as a counselor or a family member who knows, but it is not advised for your partner to be the one present when you are coming out. don't do it in public, and don't do it out of anger or frustration. try the "we need to talk" routine so they know that whatever it is, it is serious and important to you, and that you need their support. tell them that you are coming out to them because you believe they will treat you with respect and continue to love you unconditionally. however you do it, good luck, and always remember there are more loving, tolerant people out there than bigoted ones.
278979
Its not about what your family members want. It is about what you want. You love who you love and I don't believe anyone can choose their sexual preference. I undersdtand it is hard (my mum doesn't like that I am bi either) but you just gotta do whats right for you. Your family will come around and accept you if they really care (and I am sure they do) it may take time, but you be who you are.
235408
You can't "make" her understand. You can explain it to her. After that, it's up to her to accept your point of view or not. Hopefully, she is mature enough to be able to accept you and your family relationships without nagging and meddling.
510897
Cookie, I know what your talking about. And I believe that the coming out experience for some people are much different than for others.  Perhaps for some it was hard for them to be accepted at home, so they are out in public. Some actually hid for so many years that coming out is like a rebirth to them and their excited and it's like a new life for them. They can finally be free and not enslaved by being closeted any longer.  I don't think that some homosexuals really care who we think they have sex with. They know that straight people have questions and some are very helpful in answering our questions. Yes I am straight. But I have a gay son.  And I also have a straight son, that equals two great kids! What I can tell you is that it is a process that a family goes through. There are different stages that a gay person and their family goes through. And this is evident in their behavior when they become relaxed and can be themselves. I hope this helped abit. I am a PFLAG Mom. Parents Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. If you had more questions you can email PFLAG and they will be more than happy to answer your question.
270812
I think that because it's a very tight-knit family it is hard. You always aim to make your parents proud, and hispanics grow up in a religious, Catholic setting in most instances. I know growing up that there were extreme homophobic undertones at most family gatherings. When my cousin came out as bi they were extremely nice to her face but were so cruel behind her back and told their children to stay away. You can usually sense the dislike there and family especially extended family seems so much closer and in your business, they tell your parents things and try to get you to straighten up their kids. One uncle asked me, "How many girlfriends do you have in college?" I said, "None." and his reply: "You're not becoming a fag are you?" Just too machismo.
410748
Well, chances are that most people who love you already know, you just haven't confirmed it yet.  Stay calm and think good thoughts.  Being gay is not terrible, but some people may need time to accept it.  Try setting aside time, free from distractions, and tell the person.  If it is a friend and they react poorly, don't push it, let them figure it out.  Continue to be a good friend, but if they choose to not be  good friend, consider yourself lucky to be able to sort the wheat from the chaff so easily.  Your family will love and accept you- you are family.  It is better to be honest and true, living your life fully as a good person, that force yourself to live in fear, lying.
592549
I dont think you can ask her to become a lesbian.  Like "hey you wanna be a lesbian with me". If shes not a lesbian already shes not a lesbian.
430784
You would definitely be accepted by me if i was your mom. Gay people cannot help being Gay . Why should you be treated like an outcast by your family, you are their son anyway. It might come as a shock at first but they will get over it. I personally love Gay people, i find them amusing, funny and very very witty. It is nothing to be ashamed off.
149784
If she identifies as a girl, and you identify as a guy, then wanting to do her doesn't make you gay!   Some of these responses are crazy.\nDo whatever makes you feel good and makes her feel good--they're just body parts; maybe she feels like it's a really big clit and not a penis.  \nRegarding keeping secrets--that's up to the two of you.  It's hard to keep lies hidden.  It takesa lot of energy and can hurt you both.  Then if somebody finds out, there's the hurt of being lied to plus all the energy you wasted.  If you think you'd be physically hurt/beat up or something from telling your family, that's different, but in general I believe in being open.  It's her body, though, so realyl she should make the decision about how open to be.
492785
Its something which you have to sit down and explain to them. If you are uncomfortable about addressing the whole family, then speak to them one/two at a time. If you are uneasy about your family, then get some LGBT friends and come out to them - knowing that you've got people on your side will make it easier to come out to other people (including your family).\n\nYou're probably feeling uneasy because you lied to them. Chances are, you also lied to yourself. You need to explain this to them, and mention how difficult it is coming out in a homophobic society. You only have to look at the amount of LGBT counselling resources to appreciate the difficulty LGBT people have in coming out.
114482
I was once a lesbian, but have since chosen to be with a man. I have a lot of friends who are still lesbians though, and I understand why they choose to be like that. In the cases that I know (including mine), fellow females understand the psyche of their own gender. It's true in most cases, since a lesbian (even if she's a butch lesbian) would still be a girl, and girls get what other girls need and want in a relationship. Of course, there's also some people who just wish to experiment. I would advise that you talk to your friends, learn about what it is about lesbianism that attracts them, and accept them. It is NEVER easy for a gay person to come out, and if they trusted you enough to tell you about this, that speaks a lot about what kind of a friend you are. I am glad that you accept them, and that you want to understand. Frankly my dear, you might never fully comprehend until you are in THAT kind of relationship. But, I admire how you are going about with your confusion. Just be a friend to them. It is their choice. Their lifestyle. And they are your friends. =)\n\nI hope this helps you out. =)
422450
I can't claim to know anything about your problem, I'm a straight female.  But it just broke my heart to read your question.  This must be so difficult for you.  I don't know what to tell you to do, maybe you should try to wait for the right person to come along before you say anything, at least then you would have some kind of support.  I can't speak for your parents, of course, but if my child came to me and told me he's gay, I would be loving and supportive, a parent always loves their children, no matter what, at least that's the way I feel about my child.  I just wanted you to know I feel for you and wish you the best! :)
420028
I'm not sure what the actual question is here... is it a bad thing that he might be gay? What would you do if he was straight? If you feel like you need to act, just make sure that he knows that you love and support him no matter what. If he is gay, it will be extremely difficult for him to admit it to you and your family. The next time you're talking to him you could bring up one of your gay friends in passing (or make one up if you don't have any) so that he knows that you are okay with homosexuality (assuming he is gay and assuming you're okay with homosexuality).  However, just because he doesn't share his personal life with you doesn't necessarily mean he's gay. My brother is straight but doesn't particularly like to divulge information about his personal life to any of us.
252255
You could do like everyone else and have them log on here.  We'll tell them for you.\n\nBut if you insist on doing it yourself, I suggest you wait until they start asking questions like "Where do babies come from?" and "Why does my little sister have a vagina and I have a penis?"  \n\nYou should handle them individually and not at the same time because they are not the same age or gender and can't process the information identically.\n\nAnswer all questions honestly and leave the stork to parents that lie to their kids.  And whatever you do, don't villianize sex, but simply say that there is a time and a place for everything.\n\nNOTE: Your goal is to make them as comfortable as possible when discussing sex with you.  Don't overload them, and never scold them for stuff that is only natural.  If you do, you can be assured of being left out of the loop when it comes time to discussing whether or not to have sex with their BF or GF.
199490
What is my life like?  Pretty boring honestly.  \n\nThere is some oppressive sh*t that you have to deal with, and it sucks that it comes from both sides.  When I told me ex boyfriend I was bi, he called me a whore and we don't speak anymore (we were very friendly after the break up and shared a lot of mutual friends so this was a big loss).  He came from a VERY fundie family, so this was a hugh shock to him.  My parents assumed I would never have children.  People whom I expressly told I was bi would call me a lesbian, joke that I was a lesbian, or tell others that I was a lesbian.  A little good natured ribbing is fine, but at some point you have to wonder if that isn't some repressive biphoibic thing rearing its head right there.  Men I don't know are the WORST.  They will not hesitate to harass me and my girlfriend on the street for wearing a pride pin or holding hands, and if they see us dancing or kissing at a straight bar, forget about it.  They will be all over us, propositioning us for sex, groping, grabbing, and when you blow them off, they get angry and rude.  That really is the worst part for me.\n\nFrom gay folks the reaction is mixed.  Older gay people really don't "get" it, but they're usually not rude about it to my face.  They grew up in a binary world where gay was gay and straight was straight and ne'er the two shall meet, so I can forgive them as long as they're not mean about it.  One of the interesting things about being bi is that everyone tells you about their little bi moments -- including gay people.  Two of the most popular most active most effeminate gay guys on campus made it a point to tell me that they actually think they're more bi, they just don't want to be open about it because they would loose face.  Around campus, gay folks are almost uniformly polite to my face, but we're a small batch and word gets around, so I know some of them (lesbians in particular) have been saying that I was just a straight girl who was curious and trendy... that ended when I got a serious girlfriend (2 years).  Again, some people make comments about how my girlfriend and I are lesbians or call us a lesbian couple or talk about a lesbian marriage -- even though neither of us is a lesbian.  It's kinda weird, sometimes there is just not another good word or phrase that fits, sometimes it feels like this passive agressiveness because they don't believe that you're bi anymore since you're with a girl.  \n\nOtherwise, I live a painfully normal life.  I go to school, I have a cat, an apartment, friends.  I go out, I stay in.  I visit my family.  I shower and eat and breathe and all that jazz.  Other then a few isolated occurances and relationships and patterns, being bi doesn't affect 90% of my life.
494668
There are things you cant tell your sister no matter how close you are! Sometimes it is easier to tell friends. I have many gay guy best friends.