My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 ½ years.  We are moving in together this September.\n\nI graduated college in 2004 and am starting to reach that point where I am ready to settle down.  I’m where I want to be in my career and am financially stable.  My boyfriend will not be graduating until summer of 2007 (he is 1 year older).  We’ve talked about getting married sometime in the future and have even discussed where we want it to be held and how much we want to spend on it.\n\nThing is, I know he won’t have the money for a ring for a long time to come.  In addition to that, I want a long engagement in order to have the time to plan things.\n\nHis mother is a devout Catholic, and I would like to retain her respect.  I know she would feel a lot better about us living together if we were engaged.\n\nI’m going to be buying him a new computer for his birthday this fall (which also happens to be 2 days after our 6-year anniversary), and I was considering proposing to him then.
212078
you definitely should. isn't it time that the both of you made another step toward the ultimate commitment to each other? you have been together this long and have already talked about getting married. i think you should do it. god bless both of you.
334681
I was engaged to my husband for four years.  We have now been happily married for almost 10.  We took our time, because there were children involved and we didn't want to put them through divorce again.  However... we were sure we wanted to be together and married from the moment he gave me the ring.  Maybe you should give the ring back and tell him to propose again when he is sure!  If you love him and hold out hope, you two could keep dating.  This would just make it very clear to him that he needs to "poop or get off the pot".  Give him a little time, some men tend to need a little kick in the butt.  GOOD LUCK!
659040
You can push... but pushing for "the ring you want" might push him away.  Not only are you pressuring him for marriage, but you're also pressuring him for an expensive ring.  Unless he sh*ts money, thats a huge issue.  I understand people might grow up with a dream wedding or dream ring or even dream of by what age they would get married (ie: a life plan... married by 22, kids by 24...etc) ...but if you really truly love this man and feel he is for you... than you should understand sometimes, those visions we had before have to be adjusted/sacraficed a little bit to fit with HIS visions.  There are two people in this relationship.  What if he didn't imagine getting married by his age? And you'll find out in the end the $20,000 Tiffany's ring or getting married by age 24 or having a boy first, than a girl... doesn't really matter.  It won't make the marriage perfect/last which is what matters most right?  And if getting "the ring you want" is simply THAT important, understand you might have to wait for him to put some money together, but express your feelings so that you aren't disappointed and will hold it against him.  Men are not psychic believe it or not :-)
133121
Well, seems to me you all need to spend some more time together!  IF you all are really serious about getting married then you all should be at that point in your relationship to communicate well with each other.    It's ALL about communication, trust and love.\n\nIt'll put your heart at ease to give him a call and meet up face to face to talk about everything you two are feeling right now.  It's a BIG step to take and everything should be out in the open with you two and comfortable with your decision.\n\nGL hun and hope all works out for you two!
22573
OK, hon. First of all, you don't need to prove your love to him. No matter what anybody says. No matter who you date, they will never be good enough for mommy and daddy. (Unless they pick the person) Second, don't focus so much on love. Give it time. I don't know how old you are, and personally I don't consider it an issue. If you focus on love, you will be heartbroken if things don't work out. I'm not saying set your standards low. I am not saying don't love this person. What I am saying is spend time with him. Enjoy the relationship. Don't get married young. And for gods sake don't get married without first living with the person. People seem VERY different when you have to share space with them. Trust me about that one. Don't rush. True love doesn't need a wedding band. If you love someone, being with that person should be enough. Sex is nice, but even that isn't necessary. The company of your significant other is all that is necessary. If you two love each other than that is all that matters. Marriage and sex are over rated. (Sex is nice, but still over rated) If you love him then your parents will eventually come to the realization that he is sticking around. They will either come to accept it, or they will disown you. I know this. I have been married. I was only 19. I told my parents the day before. At first they accused me of being crazy. They made some pretty insulting comments, and I told them to go fuck themselves. They learned to accept my wife and even grew to like her. You are your own person. Heres a motto that my stepfather taught me. "If you don't fuck me, feed me, or pay my bills......Go fuck yourself!" Your family is an important part of your life, but you didn't choose them. You were born with them. You couldn't change who they were. Your boyfriend is somebody that you chose to bring into your life. Your parents should respect your decisions. And if they think you are a fool for being with him...... remind them of who taught you. What examples did you have to follow. They are the 2 biggest influences in your life. Whether you know it or not. Everything that you have witnessed from them as a child has molded you to be the person that you are today. Everything from not enough hugs to the overprotectiveness. They have made you who you are. If they are unhappy with that, then they should try to do a better job next time.
196477
If you are postponing proposing I'd say you aren't yet ready to take the step of getting married. It takes a lot of courage to admit that. It doesn't mean you don't love her. I imagine you do love her. You just aren't ready to take the step of getting engaged. If she's truly ready and you are not, then you need to talk about it. You may have to set her free if you don't think you'll be ready for a long, long time. You both need to be honest with each other about what you want out of this relationship and act accordingly.\n\nAlso, talk to God. Pour your heart out to Him. Ask Him if marriage with this woman is what He wants you to do with your life. Listen with all your heart and soul for His loving guidance. God Bless.
232678
My husband and I met in late October 2004.  Within two weeks, I knew we were going to marry.  We moved in together almost immediately.  Although, I did keep my apartment until we were married, but never went there.  We took several road trips together.  We were engaged on May 13, 2005, and married on July 27, 2005. We are expecting our first child in October of this year.  I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone  else.  We are both 28 years old.  I have never been married, though have been engaged a couple of times.  I have never been more cetain of anyone or anything in my whole life.  Yes, we get on each other's nerves every now and again, but Phillip is my family, my best friend, my lover and husband.  I can tell him everything and talk to him about anything.  I have no doubts, regardless of what may come, we can work it out.  For me, divorce is never an option.  I will stand by Phillip whatever comes because I care about him and I am certain he will never purposely hurt me.  I would rather experience the grandest love and then lose it than never have known it at all.  I say go for it.  If you feel it deep inside yourself, take your love as far as you can.
290873
Well... both of you are still pretty young.  You obviously have a pretty good idea of what you want in life.  Although, your boyfriend sounds like he's not quite ready to settle down.  From a guy's perspective, I'd have to tell you that this is a common thing at that age.  Believe it or not there's a period in our lives that we don't quite have a clear idea of what we want in life.  The part time handling of responsibility during school is something that is pretty easy to deal with currently versus the full time responsibility of being out in the real world fending out for yourself.  My advice to both of you is enjoy college life while you can and at the same time take care of business as in your education.  That's going to factor in quite a bit when you start looking for jobs.  If your boyfriend truly loves you, when you both get done with school, his focus might narrow a little bit more on what he wants out of life.  At that point it's probably a good time for both of you to evaluate the relationship.  Don't beat yourself up over-thinking this situation.  To answer your final question, I don't think you're wasting your time.  Someday you might reminisce of how great of a time you both had during college when you're both old and gray.
428439
If marriage is the goal for both of you, then anything over 2 years is pushing it.  Once you get to the 4 - 5th years, time to call it quits if no proposal was forthcoming by then.
251527
You should wait a few more years. Besides, part of your brain doesn't finish developing until you are 25 and it is the part that helps you with serious decision making. You can take him serious but you can only have one first wedding, you want to make sure it can last FOREVER.
169360
Hun you've only been with him for 6 months. It's a good thing that he doesn't want to rush things. It took me and my fiance a year and a half before we said the magic words "I LOVE YOU". Now we've been together for almost five years and are about to have two kids. Stick it out. It was worth it for me. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to, my email is flower_child69420@yahoo.com
34658
I think that you and your fiance should do what ya'll are comfortable with.  This is not your parents wedding, it's yours.  And you (hopefully) only have one in your lifetime.  If ya'll both want a big wedding, then by all means, have a big wedding.  If ya'll want a small one, have a small one.  There are pros and cons to each.\n\nA large wedding, as you've found out, takes a lot of planning.  While it can be the event for people to remember, or a way to show off, it is oftentimes EXTREMELY stressing (which is the last thing you want on your wedding day!)  Large weddings are also very costly.  You should think of how you would use the money that you would save by having a smaller wedding, perhaps a down-payment on a house, new furniture, or put it into a retirement savings account.  It's never too soon to plan these things!  \n\nSmall weddings, while not exactly the party that'll go down in history, are oftentimes more intimate, and mean more to the people involved.  They are less stressful (for the most part), and can help shorten the engagement period.  They are also usually a lot less expensive than large weddings.\n\nMy advice would be to sit down with your fiance and plan the wedding of YA'LL's dreams, not your parents'.  This is an expression of ya'll's love towards each other.  It may also make your fiance uncomfortable if he/she believes that you will do what your parents ask, even if it's not what you want.
277482
I think it is time to Chirp or get off the branch.  My wife and I had been dating for a while, I really loved her but did not ask her to get married.  She finally gave me a date by which to chirp or to get off the branch.  I chirped and it has been the best thing I ever did.  We have been married for many years and are more in love today then ever.  I would openly discuss your concerns with him and then let him know that you need commitment by say June 30.  If he doesn't make the commitment, move on to someone that truly loves you and someone that will make that commitment.  Too often, we stick with someone that we know is not right for us and then the years go by.  After it is too late, we realize that life is passing us by and we are in a relationship that is going nowhere.  I think people need to list the things that they want in a relationship/mate and then if after a few months they do stack up, they need to move on.  People really don't change much with time--if it doesnt feel right at first it probably wont get any better with time.   Good Luck!
512654
You should be dating at least a year before you get engaged - you need to get to know each other better, go through holidays, spend time with your families, etc. With more time, also, you and him can save up your money for the wedding, since you should be mature and paying for it yourselves.
317918
When you become engaged you have said "yes, i will marry you."  The engagement should last only so long as it takes to plan the wedding.  \n\nI don't understand engagements longer than a year really - but then I think one should live with a person before deciding to marry them (so you truly know what you are signing up for).  \n\nBest wishes my dear, for a long and happy life together!
341028
I'll have barely been with my girlfriend 2 months when Christmas rolls around, so I can speak from experience here.  Even if he has a lot of money, $250 is too much to spend this early in a relationship.  Considering that your birthday is close to the same time, the $100 amount that others have suggested would be appropriate.  Personally, I don't think he's obligated to get your parents anything unless the two of you have spent a lot of time with them and he's gotten to know them pretty well.  I commend your integrity for asking this question.  It's obvious you care a great deal about him to try to look out for him like this.
242526
My high school sweetheart and I got married about 4 months ago. I gradutaed in 2001, so we waited so we could make sure that we did what we wanted in life and also make sure that we truly wanted to be together and spend a life together. People change when they get out of high school, and especially if they are going to college. I would wait until the college years are over, because you never know what the future holds, and if you both make it during these years and nothing tears you apart, then go for it, the wait is worth the anticipation. Good Luck, and I hope you the best.