I need to write a speech about anything that is funny and it needs to be 5 minutes long.  Got any good ideas
211895
Perhaps the idiocy of people on Yahoo! Answers would suffice.
158673
hmm i haven't been on here for a long time but you may wanna try jokes.com?\nor www.bored.com
557336
If it was funny...you might want to try comedy central channel...link provided...let me know if you find it...I could use the laugh!\n\n* ok, that was priceless...lol. Thanks for the laugh and added link for future reference.
454612
Online Speech Bank\n\nIndex to and growing database of 5000+ full text, audio and video (streaming) versions of public speeches, sermons, legal proceedings, lectures, debates, interviews, other recorded media events, and a declaration or two.\n\nhttp://www.americanrhetoric.com/\n\nhttp://www.americanrhetoric.com/speechbank.htm\n\nhttp://www.speech-topics-help.com/good-persuasive-speech-topics.html\n\nhttp://www.historyplace.com/speeches/previous.htm\n\nhttp://library.albany.edu/usered/dr/speech.html\n\nhttp://www.history.com/media.do\n\nhttp://yahooligans.yahoo.com/school_bell/social_studies/history/speeches/\n\n\nSpeechTips\n\nLooking for Good Persuasive Speech Topics?\n\nhttp://www.top101persuasivespeechtopics.com/\n\nhttp://www.speech-topics-help.com/index.html\n\nhttp://www.goodpersuasivespeechtopics.com/persuasive.htm\n\nhttp://www.leeogle.org/byron/bhs/library/persuasion.htm\n\nThis is a very good site with very easy to follow step by step instructions.\n\nSpeechTips.com Your free guide to speech writing and public speaking for eulogies, graduations, best man, father of the bride and any other public speaking engagement.\n\nhttp://www.speechtips.com/index.html\n\nhttp://www.speechtips.com/preparation.html\n\nFREE Articles on Public Speaking\n\nThis site has so many tips that I was unable to pick any, you will need to see for yourself and see which, if any are useful to you.\n\nhttp://www.public-speaking.org/public-speaking-articles.htm\n\nThis site seems OK but once again see what is useful.\n\nhttp://members.shaw.ca/toasted/services.htm\n\nI liked this one.\n\nThe fear of speaking to a group of people is one of the most common forms of social phobia. Here are several suggestions for working with this fear.\n\nhttp://www.rpeurifoy.com/anxiety/pubspeak.htm\n\nPublic speaking do's and don't's\n\nhttp://www.lifehacker.com/software/feature/public-speaking-dos-and-donts-161531.php\n\nGood luck.\n\nKevin, Liverpool, UK.
300203
ideas: the immigration rallies, your favorite celeb, eulogy for a relationship (breakup speech, you could even do some couple in the news ie brad Pitt and Jennifer whatever), historical figure (Nelson Mandela, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman), you could write a eulogy for your creativity (tounge in cheek), or a toast to something minute like a paper clip, or hydrogen
98134
www.ebaumsworld.com is a great website. If you get good at soundboarding you can prank call your friends!
270553
good luck, power point presentations are about the most broing thing ever.  try to make your speech more exciting so you're not just reading slides.  nothing is more boring then that and people feel like you wasted their time.
453470
Giggle (small one). I've heard it before but we need more clean jokes like that :)
41356
Look at some of Dave Barry's articles. he writes short humorous articles about a variety of topics. You could go through some of them and it might give you some really good ideas. good luck.
565659
Definitely try to include a little humor.  \n\nThe poem The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost might be useful to you - it can give all kinds of ideas for your speech.  You could talk about following dreams and stars, even when it is not the most usual or popular road to follow.\n\nTHE ROAD NOT TAKEN\nTwo roads diverged in a yellow wood,\nAnd sorry I could not travel both\nAnd be one traveler, long I stood\nAnd looked down one as far as I could\nTo where it bent in the undergrowth;\nThen took the other, as just as fair,\nAnd having perhaps the better claim,\nBecause it was grassy and wanted wear;\nThough as for that the passing there\nHad worn them really about the same,\nAnd both that morning equally lay\nIn leaves no step had trodden black.\nOh, I kept the first for another day!\nYet knowing how way leads on to way,\nI doubted if I should ever come back.\nI shall be telling this with a sigh\nSomewhere ages and ages hence:\nTwo roads diverged in a wood, and I-\nI took the one less traveled by,\nAnd that has made all the difference.
653218
funnni...\nkeep it up need so humour once in a while..\n*~*
630962
funny stories r to make people laugh and not sleep.
612130
There are numerous topics you could cover. Here's some topics that you can start with for your speech (they're based on current events):\n\n- Gas Prices: Will they continue to go up or down?\n- Will we travel in Space like we travel in cars in the near future?\n- Will we have a republican in the White house as our next president?\n- Will we have books in the future or will everthing be on computers?\n- Will robots become our new pets?\n- How small will cell phones get?\n- What is the future of music?\n- Will human genetics be able to be changed in the future?\n- Will extraterrestrials ever visit earth?\n- Will the war end in Iraq?\n\nThese questions should help you to flesh out what you want to say. You'll need to do some research on the topics though, but they are broad enough topics to get you started on your speech.\n\nHope that helps!\n\n~JYH
631351
go to           www.funnyjunk.com      or  www.wimp.com
375779
Try...\n\n www.jokes.com\n \n               Hope that this helps!!!
356860
GO TO ANSWER ... JOKES AND RIDDLES.... you can get a good idea to start off with....\n\n\n\nGUDLUCK....and by the way i also have a movie called...\n\n\nMOMMY MOMMY WAKE UP.....ITS TIME TO SLEEP....\n\n"oldskul"
207524
Hi,\nI don't think an "after dinner" speech necessarily has to be funny.  I don't know the assignment, but in Speech 101, I assume that your teacher is just trying to help you learn how to be composed and to learn to speak in front of others.  So, what I'm saying is, I don't think it's so much about what you say as how you say it.\n\nWhat about something like, "I've very much enjoyed sharing this wonderful dinner with you.  You are some of my closest friends and I'm so glad that we could be together this evening..." etc.  \n\nIf it's more for a business dinner, then  you could do the same type of thing, "I would like to take this opportunity to say how grateful I am that we could be here tonight as colleagues and as friends.  I hope you have all had a wonderful evening, as I have..."\n\nI'm just writing really fast, but you get the idea.  You'll be fine :)  Take care...