My husband and I have been married for 8 years.  For the past few years he hasn't wanted to make love to me.  I keep trying to figure out what I am doing wrong.  We have a great relationship other than that.  He is more interested in porn than in me.  I talked to him about it before but he never will tell me why.  I am tired of asking/talking about and have given up.
205068
Because he is more interested in porn! SOunds like he has an addiction...which is not your fault. He needs help for his addiction. You need to drag him kicking and screaming into counseling if you want to help him. GOODLUCK
365846
This is a classic example of what porn can do to a marriage and people. Everyone thinks it is so harmless and even suggests that they see nothing wrong with sharing it with their mate as it is not really cheating. I think they are wrong because people do get addicted to it, and marriages have been ruined because of it. If you and your husband are not religious, this may be a time to find a church to go to. I know I will get thumbs down suggesting it, but you both must have morals or you wouldn`t be caring about what this has done to your marriage and would go and file for divorce. If you do not want to go to church, as least pray together so that you can heal and find forgiveness. Do you workbooks, and do not give up on one another. If he has cried and admitted to you he did something wrong, I honestly think he is sorry to have hurt you so deeply. Please forgive him, as this will set you free of the pain that it is causing you, and it will encourge him to be a better husband to you. Good luck, and God bless you both.
294495
I am the same way.  I've been married for 4 years now and I can count the times I've came.  It's not my husband, he's pretty big and really good in bed.  He figured out how to make  me come with really hard work.  I told him about it instead of faking and he really went out of his way to try to please me.    \n\nLike you, he is also my second, my first was just sex and I didn't like it.  It took me 6 months to figure out that I wasn't' pleased to tell my husband.  \n\nOUR SOLUTION:\nWe got toys and when we make love, we make sure we have enough time to warm me up with or@l and finally make love.  Tell you husband about it.  Trust me he's gonna want to make you the happiest woman alive and he will do what ever it takes to please you.  Communication, communication.
316740
He's hurt and doesn't want to repeat it. Yes, you love him, but he's already shown he's not open to it. Why force the issue?\n\nYou could be strangers 8 years later. Be thankful for that and work on moving on.
330872
My wife and I went through something like this. I use to wear diapers as a fetish. I still have the desire but dont act on it. I told her about it before we got married. She thought it was silly but tollerated it as long as I didn't ask her to take part or wear a diaper. But what almost drove us apart was that I started talking to girls online that had this fetish because they understood me and my wife and I never talked about it and she got jealous. She thought I was looking for someone to replace her. I love her too much for that, I just wanted to find someone who I could talk to that didn't think it was weired. I would search for people to talk to and sometimes they had girly pics that they shared and it kind turned into something not much different than looking at porn and what woman wants their husband looking at pics of other women. But, she did not threaten to leave me because of it. By the way, she has worn one a couple of times just as for play and I think that helped us communicate but she really doesn't have the desire to just put one on and act as a baby. She eventually didn't mind me walking around the house in one and wearing one under my clothes and that helped a lot too. She let me be me and our love got stronger because of it. After 7 years of marrige we have kids now 2 and 3 years old so diaper wearing for me got less and less and I actually stopped wearing them because we became more involved with a Christain life style. I think this is my ministry now, helping people work though stuff like this. \n\nSome advice, if you love him for who he is, then the diapers wont matter. If you try to change him other than his diapers, you wont last. Let him have his space for his desire if you can live with it but dont make him choose between you because no matter he will do it behind your back. As long as it dont lead to things other than just wearing and role playing as a baby if that what he likes. Just let him know how you feel and how far you are willing to let him go. You can make some rules too. Everyone has desires that someone might find weird. Once a diaper lover always a diaper lover. I dont know why this is and no one has the right answer. It is hard to understand the reason why someone would feel compelled to get security from a diaper. Just like I have a hard time with people being gay. But I will let God judge them and judge me. There is no real answer and some people choose to just tollerate it but there is no reason you have to unless you want to. At least be thankful he told you about it before. I decided to stop wearing because I wanted to change my life style not because my wife had a hard time with it.
129282
Thats exactly how me and my husbands relationship started!  Thats so crazy and I always thought that I was the only one.  \nAnyways, you can simply ask him what does he like about you and if its not strictly sexual, he should be able to tell you with no problem.\nIt also sounds like he's scared of commitment, and you can be patient if you feel he's worth the wait, but dont allow yourself to be hurt in the process.
478150
You need to discuss this with him.  There could be a myriad of reasons for his lack of desire.  It is possible that he has fantasies that he is embarrassed about sharing with you.  Come up with some fantasies of your own so that he may feel more at ease about discussing such topics.  If you are able to get past the taboo nature of the sex topic, you will see a much more rewarding sex life.
97712
Not making love for over 2 months is not normal behavior.  Feeling anger about it is justified but not healthy behavior.\n\nTalk to your husband.  Find out the cause of why you two haven't made love in 2 months.  Let him know you feel resentment about it.  Later on you can worry about how to spice things up.\n\nSuggest counseling or seeing your pastor/priest/spiritual leader.\n\nGood luck!
272031
Sounds like a GREAT GUY! I've never seen porn but I have seen the effects it has on marriages, families and relationships. Porn is a disease that effect the mind..maybe your husband understands that and does NOT want to become a pervert..like some have
450050
its actually a pretty common problem, he probably has ED (erectile dysfunction). There are meds that REALLY work, i think cialis is best. he probably will be pretty sensitive to talking about it, so bring it up gently. you don't want to be plagued with this your whole marriage. also, you need to be able to communicate about EVERYTHING, even sensitive topics like this. good luck!
178201
Sex is very important in mine and my husbands relationship . I will be honest and say for two weeks we have not had sex or talked much about anything and we always had talked before . After my husband went to  work today I emailed him and asked him what was going on . He says he's been tired and under a lot of stress at work and has a lot of stress because his brother lost his kids . I have been so sad the past week just because I didn't feel loved or wanted . After he talked to me about what was going on I felt a lot better but sex helps people feel more loved and wanted . To me sex and talking is a big part of a relationship .\n\nAngel
46773
Wow I would think the opposite would be the case. More interested. \n\nI can affect your marriage especially if he wants to try things your not comfortable with. \n\nIt also sounds like your husband has 3 things you need to learn how to deal with. \n\n1) highly visual in regards to sexual stimulation. \nthis shold be a fun one for you. learn to teash and fill his (voyeristic side) it's actually common for men. after all our ("NEED" for sexual fulfillment) is based on our (Physical) responce to stimuli. \n\n2) Unmet "NEEDS" in the marriage. ( His Needs, Her Needs) at some point you started ignoring one of his 5 basic "NEEDS" when that happens he begins a process of withdrawing from the relationship. \nhis need went unmet so he withholds one of yours. now your upset and withhold another and he responds. \nonce one of either of you "LOVE BANKS" become empty your now suseptable to an affair. mainly because some external "person" began filling one of the "NEED" not being met at home. the problem can be fixed though after an affair it then will need professional help to solve. \n\n\n3) The books listed below can help you understand each of your 5 basic "NEEDS" as well as help you understand his unique "love language" ( the 5 love languages) which is basically words or actions that he accepts as messaages of love from another person. during dating you sends this messages uncounsiously. but after marriage we forgot what we did while dating and stop sharing the message of "LOVE" in a format he would understand. more time then not your sending signals in "Your own unique language" but he forgot the code also and no longer understands your language\n\nI hope that helped. if you have questions send a shout. \nI listed the books below that I quoted from. \nMay God Bless your family and help you find reconsiliation.
48128
Sex is important to a marriage of course, but communication, trust, respect and friendship are VERY important. There is something going on with your husband and just reading your question, he seems to be distant and it does not sound like it's just about the sex for him. Try and give him some time of pampering him...massage him without touching him sexually, just make it relaxing. If he likes a favorite food & TV show set that up for him too. Don't bring up any conversation during this "his" time. Just let him know that you love him and you are there for him if he ever needs to talk about anything and say nothing else. If you make him feel safe and that you are his best friend, that is the beginning of intimacy and then on a different day, ask him if you can talk and be honest with him that you miss your physical relationship with him and ask him if there is anything that the two of you can work on together to try and bring intimacy back into your bedroom. When you share with him how you feel, don't be accusatory but just say "I feel" and also truly listen to how he feels. Good luck. Marriage is always something we have to work on.
643863
has he tried any foreplay? i have learned that foreplay is important for my wife to have a pleasurable experience. \n\nalso, distractions could definately be an issue because i am in a similar situation as you are. my wife has mentioned that she was uncomfortable with the living situation so its hard for her to "be herself" at times...i have learned that the atmosphere has to be just right  for a woman.
534978
Yes, something is wrong.  It doesn't matter how often you actually have sex- every day, every week, every month- as long as both of you feel contented. You are unhappy enough about it to be asking this question, so something is going on that isn't quite right.\n\nI've been in a low sex marriage (sex less than once a month, sometimes no sex for six months + at a time) for years and years and believe me, it isn't going to get better over time.  You'll end up being the "pursuer" sexually and emotionally, as I am with my husband.  Seek outside assistance now, while your relationship is still fresh enough for you both to invest in addressing this issue.  Otherwise you'll end up like me- wondering if you chose the wrong mate, wondering if it's still possible to fix it, wondering if platonic friendship is going to be enough for the next 40 years.
564806
First, you need to explain to him what he does and how it makes you feel.Honesty and communication are the most important part of any realtionship.Next, the bedroom.Spontaneity and variety.Always mix things up.Never plan it.Try different things and if your open to it, toys.Life is short and a marriage is very important.I think keeping it fun will keep you both interested and actually enhance your sex life.BUT, you need to communicate there too.Talk to him and see what he likes, what he dosent, and where he draws a line.Maybe find out what his fantasies are(doable ones).This will definitely keep your sex life interesting.For toys, try online ordering(very discreet) or if you want to go look, try Spencers or Priscillas.There are many adult stores  that have womens interests in mind too.Have fun and congrats on your preganancy.
420618
The question to ask is whether your or his sex lives are unfulfilling.  Does he return to this online porn/webcams because he feels the sex with you just isn't that phenomenal?  If he enjoys your sex but just likes doing these other things, I don't see the problem, unless it affects YOU- i.e. you feel your sex life suffering because of his pornographic predilections.\n\nSome people do, indeed, become addicted to pornography, and it becomes a problem when it interferes with their lives or they can only be sexually aroused when using these materials.  Otherwise, it's just something he likes to do.  Still, it seems to be upsetting you, so the thing to do- the best thing, always- is to talk to him about it.  Don't set down an ultimatum or forbid him from doing it, just try to find out why he does it, express your feelings about it to him, and go from there.