What Is the Best or Worst pick up line you have ever heard or used?
201873
Worst is- Ive lost my number can I have yous.\nBest is- Can I borrow a light cause its pretty dark in here sorry I just looked in your eyes.
553868
" Go piss up a rope."\n\n"You should really consider having a Plexiglas's window installed in your stomach so that you can actually see first hand what your head looks like while up your as*s."  \n\n"Go die or something."\n\n"Did your mother use you as bait to distract vicious dogs or something."\n\nand my most favorite one of all times...  "People are not chocolate, but if they were, they would be Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling."     \n\nI got that from Scrubs!  \n\nGod...I have a million of these...  I speak smartas(s...  I really don't have very much vocabulary beyond the come back...
43083
I have two: I love the second one.\nJoke #1\nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\n\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\n\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\n\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."\n-----------\n Joke #2\nTwo women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are\n comparing stories on how they died.\n\n 1st woman: I froze to death.\n\n 2nd woman: How horrible!\n\n 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the\n cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a\n peaceful death. What about you?\n\n 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected\n that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to\n catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by\n himself in the den watching TV.\n\n 1st woman: So what happened?\n\n 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there\n somewhere that I started running all over the house\n looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down\n into the basement. Then I went through every closet and\n checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had\n looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that\n I just keeled over with a heart attack and died!\n\n 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd\n both still be alive.
525656
"Hey kid".\n\nI turned to look but no one was there.  It was all quiet on the street this Sunday morning.\n\n"Hey kid" \nI heard it again. "Hey" I said back, hoping to find where the voice was coming from.\n\n"Come here" the voice said.\n\n"Where are you?" I asked.\n\nJust then my friend, Carl walked out of the pizza shop.  "What do you want Carl?"\n\n"Huh?" he gave me a strange look.\n\n"Didn't you just ask me to 'come here'?" I asked.\n\n"No, I just got out here".  He said. "Are you feeling alright?"\n\n"He can't hear me" the voice said.\n\n"Where are you?" I asked \n\n"I'm standing right here, dork" Carl laughed thinking I was playing around.\n\n"No there's a voice here" I said.\n\n"He can't hear me" the voice said again.\n\nSo hows that for a start on a three way conversation?
661525
UGH\nUGH\nDang that's kinda gross....\nBless your heart you've had a bad day!\nI would  have laughed in a fake voice and said please your an old man!\nOr\nWonder What Dad Would Think Of That???\nSay something so they don't think you liked it. \nTell your dad his friends have lost it.....lol\nI really don't know what I would have said. I would have been to shocked to have said anything...
75384
I'll tell you a joke.\n\nThere was this armless, legless girl sitting on the beach one day, sobbing her eyes out when a bloke walked past.\nHe said to her: "Hey! What's the matter, why are you sitting/lying here crying?"\n\nShe replied: "I've got no arms and no legs, and I've never been hugged before". So the bloke bends down and gives her a hug. She stops crying.\n\nHalf hour later, she's still there and starts crying again when another bloke walks past.  Same deal: he asks her why she's crying... She replies;\n\n"I've got no arms and no legs, and I've never been kissed before by a man..." So he promply bends down and plants a kiss on her lips. She stops crying and he walks away.\n\nSome time later, a third man walks past and she's howling like a new born.  He asks her what the problem is, and she gives him her sob story...\n\n"I've got no arms and no legs, and I've never been F&#*ed before!"\n\nHe shrugs his shoulders, picks her up and throws her into the ocean and yells to her:\n\n"Well, you're F&%#ed now!!"
581153
Hey Salasvexx................I see you're asking some sweet questions on yahoo answers.....ummmmmmmm.....how's about a date?  LOL LOL LOL HAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAA H AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  How is that for a pick up line?  (by the way, I'm married so I of course am j/k)  haaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaa
123721
the dumber the better, i once used "i'd swim through a mile of whale come to sleep with you tonite"\nanother great one; walk up to a strange woman place your finger on her lips and say "don't say a word, that way we won't f uck this great relationship up" and then take her out the door and back to your place
126204
you don't need pickup lines.  They are cheesy.  Just be yourself and go have a real conversation with her.  At first, say "Hi, my name is _______"  Be genuine.  It is not necessary to impress her, or seek her approval.  Turns some women off.  Be yourself.
471977
This had me crying when I first heard it...\n\nAn old man is riding in a lift with two glamorous women. One woman takes a perfume bottle out of her bag and sprays her neck. She turns to the other woman and says, "Romance by Ralph Lauren...£150 an ounce."\n\nThe other woman takes a perfume bottle out of her bag, sprays herself, and says, "Chanel No.5...£200 an ounce"\nThe lift stops and the doors open. \n\nThe old man steps out and lets off a huge rumbling fart. As the doors close he looks back at them and ays..."Broccoli, 49p a pound."
332113
Oh my goodness....I have one.\n\nIt was right after I got out of a very long, very terrible relationship, yet it was before I met my husband.  I was sitting at my house with my roommate and one of those commercials came on TV for the telephone dating service.  TeleMates or something like that.  Well, I had been drinking just a bit so I decided to call it for fun.\n\nWell, I instantly was on the line with this guy who was a little older than me, who sounded really nice.  He described himself as being extremely nice looking with gorgeous blue eyes, etc. etc.  I was like "YES!!! Let's meet up for a date."\n\nSo a couple of days later, this guy was coming to pick me up.  I got ready for HOURS! (I hadn't been single in years, so I was so nervous about this "blind date")  My roommate was there, and a few of our friends were there to meet this guy.\n\nWell, we hear a car pulling into the driveway and my roommate runs to the window and is peeking out.  She turns around and starts laughing and she's like "He totally lied to you.  You are not going to like this."  I kept smiling, thinking that she was joking.  No, as it turns out, she was just being nice.\n\nThis guy looked NOTHING like he had described.  He had on huge thick glasses, he was like 4 inches shorter than me and about 30 pounds more than what he described.  He also had told me he was a great dresser, and lets just say this was a lie too!  The only thing he had in common with what he told me was that he had blue eyes!  That was it!\nSo this guy comes in and he's holding a rose, and I instantly feel like a b!tch for being so judgemental.  I thought, maybe he is a really nice guy, so I decided not to fake sickness as I had originally planned and take a chance on him. If anything, he could just be a friend that I hung out with.\nSo we go on our date.  He asks me where I want to go eat.  I tell him I'm not picky, I'm content with McDonalds double cheeseburgers.  So he decides to take me to a nice Mexican restaurant downtown.  We go in, and we're sitting there talking and sure enough, he is a nice guy.  So then he offers to buy me a drink.  I tell him I like margaritas.  He orders me the biggest margarita they have, one that costs over 10 bucks and comes in a cup that looks like a bowl!  So I drink the margarita.  He buys another one.  I drink it.  We finish eating and then we leave. \nSo he stops at a store, asks me do I smoke, I say yes.  He goes in, buys me several packs of cigarettes and a lighter.  And a case of beer.  I'm like WTF, but okay.....\nSo he gets a call on his cell phone and asks would I like to stop by his house, that his brother is having a "party" there.  I say sure, and figure if this is a trick, I have my pepper spray in my purse!\nSo we go to his house and it is only his brother there!  There is no party.  Apparently, I am the party.  So we sit around and drink some beers, have some conversation.  Then my cell phone rings and it is my former best friend (who is a guy) I talk only for a minute before telling him maybe we can hang out later, then hang up.  The guy I'm on a date with gives me this weird look and he's like "Was that a guy?" As I explain to him that it was my best friend, who I dated when I was 15, but since then, he's engaged and has two kids, he just looks pissed.  He grabs my purse up from bside me, shoves it into my hands and tells me he's taking me home.\nAs we're driving down the road, I start to tell him I had a fun time with him, and this dude just starts freaking out on me.  I remember he told me "You're nothing but a player.  You're one of those girls, you just play good guys like me.  Do you get off on playing people and doing them wrong?"  Of course, I'm like What the hell are you talking about?  So this guy proceeds to just b!tch me out:  I take you out and treat you right and you just screw me over.  That'
599060
You've got to be kidding me, this is the funniest thing I have heard all day! Sorry to break it to ya...but you are far, far from best of the best! hahaha LMAO  LOSER!
331772
My father's pick up line was:  "You must be a religious woman because your prayers have been answered".  As you can tell the man was an insufferable a**.\n\nHere's on of the oldest jokes in the world to try and if she doesn't get it she has no sense of humor and you need to go elsewhere anyway:\n\nHey, could I take you out to dinner and a movie or would you just prefer the cash?\n\nIt will either go over like gang busters or get you slapped but beggars can't be choosers.  Good luck.
455041
Those were cute, I really liked the last one. \nMy brothers used to say:\n"Hello....(pause).... yeah hold on....(pause)....Oh just kidding, no ones home right now, leave us your name and number... blah, blah, blah."\nEverytime I called and they said hello I didn't know if it was the answering machine or a person.
315652
A man met a beautiful woman and he decided he wanted to marry her \nright away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." \n\nHe said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." .....\n\nWhoops.\n\n\n\nOk, here is my real joke, the only other one I can remember in my flu delirium.\n\n...as told to me by my best friend when she was eight and I was ten...\n\nIf you are on the potty and you are not American, what are you?\n\nyou're-a-peein'.....
535123
hahahahahahahhaahhahahaha!  TOO funny!  I am still laughing!  I am going to use some of these one liners!  I'll send this to my single girl friends too!  Thanks for sharing!
616997
Here's some for ya:\n\n  A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left. \nWhen she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in fornt of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?'' \n\nShe looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.''\n \n\n  One day a teacher went into her class room and saw the word, “penis” written in small letters on the chalkboard. She erased it and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the chalkbaord, but a little bit bigger. She erased it and went on with her lesson.\nEach of the next several days, the teacher would come in to find “penis” on the board, a little larger each time. She went in one morning, expecting to dinf it again, but instead the chalkboard read: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.” \n\nCheer's