New to the army life here.  About to enter it fully in about a month.  Husband is due to graduate AIT in less than a month..I just wanted soldiers and their wives to tell me their experiences..How much time they actually spent home, deployments.  Just would like to hear some stories.  Kind of give me a broad idea of what to expect.  So far it has been 6 months and he came home for exodus.  It has so far been hard, but I am adapting..and from what I understand, I have to adapt more.  hah.  So yeah..anything would be appreciated.  I like hearing things first-hand.
200958
If he is regular army (RA) you can expect him to be deployed quite a bit in the next few years as the operations tempo is probably going to be pretty high. So, at least for the time being, get used to him being away. \n\nAlso, if he wants to make this a career, get used to moving around a bit. You will have the opportunity to live in different areas of the country as well as different countries, not always of you and your husband's choosing. It's a difficult lifestyle, one that many civilians don't and really can't understand. But take comfort in the fact that other military wives (and husbands if the female is a soldier and the husband is a civilian) are in the exact same boat as you, friends are easy to make.
102068
Okay... you've got a lot of good advice there. But let me tell you what the hardest thing to deal with when deployed and you send all your letters and good things from home. Believe it or not, open ended letters. Those are the letters that say everything is great, and I got hurt. Everyone is fine, and Johnny's arm is doing better. Everything is wonderful, the electricity will be back on tomorrow. It may sound silly, but when away from home for an extended period of time, even the smallest thing on your end seems like a crisis on the other. So please take my advice, when you write about what's going on, both good and bad (we do want to know everything when deployed) make sure that he knows, that you've explained well, that all is okay. And please don't send him anything that will melt in the heat. All the best to both of you.
625355
Your friend really has to exhaust all her options before considering joining the military. I joined the Army reserves 5 years ago in hopes of using the money to finish college and make a better life for my family (mother and sister). Well 5 years later and my unit has been deployed stateside and to Iraq  back to back. I havent had enough time to finish my college courses that I started back in 2000. There is money available for college such as GI Bill and army tuition assistance but in most cases it pays for 75% of your tuiition. The army's basic training is not all glits and glam its very hard work physically, mentally, emotionaly not to mention if she has young children they will be without their mother for 9 weeks of basic training plus the weeks or months that must be spent in training for you MOS(military Occupation Specialty) and if shes deployed thats another 6- 18 months overseas and believe me family is what she will miss the most. If I could do it all over again I would have sought wise counsel before signing my life away. Although the experiences have been once in a lifetime and I was able to move out of chaotic circumstances I always wonder what if I never joined the military where would my life be and how would it be different. I have changed and my mindset has changed. I never discourage people from doing what they feel is best  I'm just offering my experiences   God bless
439825
They pretty much work with you and what you want as much as they can.  However, you shouldn't need a "break" from BCT.  It's only 9 weeks and it's better to get it over with.  You'd be better off to try to work it so you can go to BCT, have Christmas at home and then start AIT.  Honestly, you don't want to be forced into taking Christmas exodus.  I don't know if it's changed, but exodus used to count toward your leave.  Kinda like mandatory leave.  If you take exodus that soon after joining, you'll be in the hole for leave days.  I know, because this happened to my hubby.  Then, when he came down on orders for Germany directly after AIT, we had no time together because he had no leave saved.  He went strait overseas and it took me 6 months to get there.  Just something for you to think about.  Ask the recruiter if exodus counts toward leave because if it does, you don't want to start in the hole.  \n\nAlso, in all honesty, you and your family need to learn to spend time apart.  Especially holidays.  I know you don't want to hear this and some will think I'm mean, but it's the Army life.  Our daughter is 9 and hubby has been home or able to help for 2 Halloweens.  He's been gone about half of her Christmas' and in our 18 years, I can't even tell you how many missed holidays or special days.  It takes a special and strong family to be a military family.  I hope you and yours are prepared for the lifestyle.  It's a hard life, but it's a good life.\n\nGood luck and thanks for your willingness to serve!!
221870
The first few days will be the hardest.  My husband and I have been married for a year.  Out of that year, we've spent 6 months together. My husband  was in Missouri for 2 months, we spent 2 weeks together, then he was off to Germany.  Now, I'll get to Germany next month, and he leaves for Iraq in August, for a year.  You'll get used to it after a while.  It's all part of being a military wife.  Don't let yourself think about it too much. Keep busy!  Hang out with friends or do something with your family.  Try to stay occupied at all times.  Trust me, things will be great once he gets back!
40725
I am not a soldier...anymore.  I was active duty army for 2 1/2 years and also did a tour in Iraq.  I am now a soldier's wife.  My husband just left a week ago.  I know what you are going through.  You need to understand though that when he says he doesn't want you to worry...that's the truth.  I told my husband before he left that I don't want to know if he gets fired upon, has to shoot anyone, etc.  I would rather just stay in a lovely state called denial. LOL  When I was in Iraq I made that mistake of telling my mom when I was shot upon...I never told her about another incident.  I didn't want her to worry. (Keep in mind...is was there in the beginning)  Give him some time...hopefully he will start having some stories that he cares to share soon.  I am am yahoo messenger quite a bit...my email address is in my profile.  Keep your head up...good luck!
613021
deployments are hard...i'm going through my first right now.  We're 8 months in....and it's going really smoothly besides the loneliness factor.  I'm by no means a professional at this, i'll just give you some tips that have helped my husband and I through so far.  \n\nFirst off...i try to send him something twice a week.  Whether it's a package with beef jerky and books and games, or just a card with some pictures in it....it keeps him going. He loves getting the mail, and it gives him something to look forward to.  \n\nUnless he's a big writer, don't expect too many letters.  There honestly isn't that much to say about what's going on over there. Either he can't tell you...or he doesn't want to.  Leave it at that.  Don't question him.  It's hard.  \n\nThis first deployment will make or break your marriage.  You need to be strong and supportive of everything he does.  Just remind him how much you love him, and miss him, and how proud you are of what he's doing.  Being a military wife is the hardest job in the military, because you're the home base and the shoulder to lean on.  Again, just be strong.  \n\nIf you leave on or near base, there are FRG's you can get involved with.  That's a family readiness group in case you didn't know.  They personally didn't help me much, but they'll keep you up to date on deployments and things happening around base that you might be interested in.  \n\nMAKE SURE you have power of attorney.  It's next to impossible to do anything without it.  3 words...power of attorney.  \n\nNow what to expect...expect sleepless nights.....alot of worrying about where he is, what he's doing, when he might get the chance to call again.  There are blackouts CONSTANTLY, sometimes my husband can't call for a week.  Again, if you live on or near a base, from my personal experience, you're just another military wife....they aren't that sympathetic.  \n\nIf you have any questions, or just feel like you need someone to talk to....feel free to contact me, i don't know much, but i'm going through the same thing you are.  Good luck, and god bless....you'll do fine!!!
79789
My wife is deployed. It' a little different for a husband most of the support groups in my area say they are for wifes. It's lonely not to maention we have 2 small girls so It's also scary knowing that I am all they have for now. I just write or E-mail daily and count the weeks till Oct. when she gets home.
572489
As a soldier, I am getting sick of not seeing my spouse. We have been seperated for 14 months. We both serve - him in Afghanistan and myself to Iraq. That being said, being in Iraq and seeing it first hand, I know that we cannot pull troops out of Iraq until stability is reached and the Iraqi government can sustain themselves. Unfortunately this will take years.
645139
I think that maybe at first it might be kind of hard for them to leave their friends,especially when they are teens.Because your not sure where your husbands duty station is gonna be.But once you find out you can call there and ask about what kind of activities they have on post for teens and get some kind of idea of whats going on there.I guess you know that you don't have to live on post if you don't want.But I also know that it is a relief knowing that all your bills are paid except your phone,cable,etc.The cost of living is high in alot of places and that makes it harder when you do live off post and your kids might enjoy that better.It might take some time but I think they will adjust and  they'll be okay.As for the deployments I guess I would have to say nobody is ever prepared for those and it all comes down to everyone has to support the other.Living day to day knowing your husband could leave for a year or so is never easy on anyone.I hope things work out for ya and the kids do okay.Have your husband keep checking his AKO and hopefully you will find out where your going so you can get prepared early.
229487
yeas sex is nice but what's on his mind when he comes home isn't sex probably as much as it is home itself. I haven't been deployed yet but boot camp lasted 3 months. When I came back I spent the day with my family and friends. My mom made me my favorite dinner and everyone brought me a card saying welcome back. Just surround him with the people and things he loves. Stick something out in the front yard if you own a house saying welcome home then Rank and Name. He deserves a lot of respect and love for going over there so make sure you give it to him when he gets back! Good luck hope August comes by quickly for you.
143005
I'm in Iraq right now. Me being on here should give you an idea of what I'M doing...nothing. What's it like? HOT! Alot of people do have it pretty rough over here though, but I wouldn't say the majority have it all that bad. It just sucks being away from home for so long. I don't think it's really getting better. They're gonna fight us as long as we're here.
641350
A lot of training but generally shorter deployments. Not home a lot but higher job satisfaction. If you can't handle that, tell him now, instead of telling him by phone when he's in a combat zone.
209873
I am currently a military spouse and if I could do it all over again I would have told my husband to just get a job in his major and not the Army.  The Army takes care of us, they have some great benefits probably the best in the world.  But none of that is worth risking your life for.  I'm not anti-Army, I'm just living the life supporting my husband.  We have a 3 year old, and he just came back from a deployment in Dec and possibly will be leaving again within a month.  Imagine a 3-year old asking for his daddy everyday while he is fighting in a senseless "war".  If you can't, it's pure hell.  I don't recommend military life to anyone unless you are single and times are REALLY hard for you financially.  There are alot of sacrifices you have to make in a military environment.  I have some research for you, go and find out the divorce rate for military servicemen, its beyond the means of high.  I think I just told you the reason why!!
339744
Read your papers everyday. Don't worry. I am a military wife and I know how it feels not to hear from someone who's over there. Don't think the worst. There are many reasons why they may not be able to call you. When my husband was over there, someone compromised the unit by revealing to much info to a loved one on the phone. Consequently, they weren't able to call home for two weeks. Also they may be moving and they may not be able to communicate in anyway. If you have contact info, write or email. Many soldiers (along with everyone else now!) have Myspace pages. See if they have one. Next of kin is contacted as soon as all of the proper procedures are complete. The person the soldier listed on his paperwork is the person that will be called. It is not always a spouse or a parent. After that, it is up to that person to contact everyone. But please, be patient, relax, and pray. Things are tough but you will be okay and he is ok.
550466
Having been in for 20 years and deployed many times, I can honsetly say that it has to be harder to be left !!  While I was deployed I usualy was kept occupied on the mission at hand, worrying about my soldiers etc...    My wife on the other hand though  had to keep our Household running,  all the bills had to be paid, the kids school and after school activities needed to be met (Taken to and from, all the practices, all the games) etc...  Our household still had to run and she was the one who did it and she had to do it alone most of the times.  Yes the FRG was there to assist and the friends were there to assist also but it was all on her shoulders to keep our household up and running.   I have always said that the role of the Military Spouse has never been properly addressed.  A Good Military Spouse is a rare gem and one that needs to be kept and appreciated (Something that Military Members need to keep in mind).  I thank God for my wife who dealt with the military during our service and all of the deployments.  \n\nThe Military Spouse   \n\nWhen the good Lord was creating military spouses, He was into His sixth day of overtime. \nAn Angel appeared and said, "You're having a lot of trouble on this one. What's wrong with the standard model?" \nThe Lord replied, "Have you ever seen the regulations? It has to be completely independent, must be sponsored to get on base, have the qualities of both mother and father during deployments; Be a perfect hostess to four or 40, handle emergencies without military orders, cope with the flu and move around the world, have a kiss that cures anything from a child's torn valentine to a soldier's weary day, have the patience of a saint when waiting for the unit to return stateside, and have six pairs of soft hands."\nThe Angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pair of hands? No way!" \nAnd the Lord answered, "Don't worry. We'll make other military spouses to help. Besides, it's not the hands that are causing the problem - it's the heart. It must swell with pride, sustain the ache of separation, beat soundly when it's too tired to do so, be large enough to say 'I understand' when it doesn't, and say 'I love you,' regardless." \n"Lord," said the Angel, touching his sleeve gently, "go to bed. You can finish that tomorrow." \n"I can't," said the Lord. "I'm too close to creating something unique. Already I have one who can heal itself when sick, feed unexpected guests who are stuck in the area due to bad weather, and wave goodbye to its spouse from a pier or runway and understand it's important to the country that the spouse leave." \nThe Angel circled the model of the military spouse very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. \n"But tough," the Lord said excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this being can do or endure!" \n"Can it think?" the Angel asked. \n"Can it think? It can convert 1400 to 2 p.m.!" the Lord said. \nFinally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model." \n"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear." \n"What's it for?" asked the Angel. \n"It's for joy, sadness, pain, loneliness and pride," the Lord said. \n"You're a genius," said the Angel. \nThe Lord looked somber and said, "I didn't put it there." \n~Author Unknown
323408
I have been Active Duty (single), Dual Military, and now a Military Dependent.  All combined, I have been part of the military in one way or another for 16 yrs now, and honestly, you have jerks in all walks of life (in and out of uniform). \n\nSome spouses try to wear their AD spouses rank.  Some AD members think that all spouses are stupid and don't deserve common courtesy (simply because they are a person, not because of anyone's rank).  \n\nSome military members think that all spouses (generally aimed at the wives) are "groupies" (as seen in one of the posts here), without ever considering that maybe we love the person our spouse is, and that the military is just part of who that person is.  Some wives (and, for that matter, some AD men), seem to think that every single woman in the military is some tramp who's having sex with every guy she works with, without ever considering that not only does it "take two to tango", but that getting in some military guy's pants is a pretty stupid reason to enlist (I have yet to meet someone who enlisted for that reason), and that even IF it was, there are more than enough single guys to go around they don't need the married ones.\n\nBasically, no one group has the corner on being an idiot, or being rude.\n\nAs far as them trying to pull their husband's rank, that's pretty stupid, because any military member who has enough rank to do anything about it isn't going to be stupid enough to jepordize their career that way.  \n\nThough I do have to say that there was a time (after I got out of the military) that I did really upset a Jr. Enlisted guy.  I did NOT try to wear my husband's rank or any of that garbage, but I also didn't let him pull any cra p with me.  We had just bought a new car, and we lived in housing.  I had my ID, proof of purchase, temp tags, a temp pass, and a letter from our insurance company.  But the guy standing the gate was saying he couldn't let me on base, because "I didn't have my sponsor with me", and he wouldn't get his supervisor.  I kept saying I have an ID and I LIVE here!  Under whose orders are you saying I can't get on base?  He finally let me in "just this once", and I did tell my husband about it, and he did call his CMC, who did call and talk to the Lt in charge of Security.  Come to find out, the order was that if you were a visiting guest, you couldn't come on base without someone with military ID in the car.\n\nI'm sure that guy thought I was trying to wear my husband's rank, but all I was wanting to do was get home.