How do you feel about a woman who has chosen abstinence until she's married? Would this make or break a relationship for you? Would you be able to handle this?
208832
Abstinence is the way to go.  There can never be any physical, emotional, or spiritual regrets when abstinence is the choice.  Sex is a wonderful and serious form of bonding between a man and a woman, and something this important can wait until marriage.  \nThere are plenty of men out there who would try to persuade you to give up your virginity to them, but it is only for selfish reasons.  Any man worthy of your affections will respect your decision and admire you for it.\nHang in there, it will be worth it.
303217
My understanding is that it would be.  It would still be considered adultery.\n\nThere are many things these days that can interrupt a married couple's sex life.  \n\nI could understand why that would be a temptation, but vows sometimes involve sacrifice.  And as difficult as it would be, I believe that God would enable a person to persevere.\n\nI hope this is hypothetical and that you're not in this situation.  But I know there are people who live it.
640155
You have to now figure out if this is good for you.  She apparently doesn't know what she wants.  Either she's fearful of the life that could include being with the same person until death, or she can't handle being faithful.  She's hurting you, but does she realize it?  Have you ever just sat down with her to figure out what the deal is?  I'm sorry to say that I think a divorce would be the best thing.  She obviously has some issues, and no one can get through to her.
156218
I lost my virginity at the young age of 14...If I had the choice, I would take it back...There's no REAL love in just sex...& yes, I agree w/ you, losing a virginity at a young age is wrong...So I have to say, that, whatever I say or anybody else here, won't matter to you if you want to do what you want right?? Here's my opinion, if I were you, I would wait until you're married...I didn't & I wish I would have waited for my husband...I took that away from not only me, but my husband too..
244405
I am a doctor and while having wild trouble with my wife, I decided to never be with here again.  I have 2 kids. A few months later, 4 to be exact, I started living with one of my patients, who is 40, and had a wild drive for me since 2 years ago. While being my patient nothing happened, but we started talking after I left my wife, never to return I thought. I lived with this woman for over a year, and that was the happiest time of my life. Nevertheless, my kids were having very serious trouble, and even though I did not wish to see my wife again, I decided to return to my kids and get them out of trouble. I will never stop loving my patient, she was the sweetest girl I've never known, but I cannot live happily with her while my kids are going down hill. I may be damned, but I need my kids to be OK for me to be happy, and they demand my presence. I could never feel happy while being with the woman I love while my kids are going through trouble. You being a virgin is not an issue to me, it should not be an issue to you, it should not be an issue for anybody loving you. What worries me is to find you left aside because this guy is married. I am not saying it is right or wrong, I am saying I doubt he will feel absolutely and sincerely happy with you while thinking about his kids. Been there, done that, don't go there, yo don't want to go there. You'll be happy for a while, and then you will know hell. Excuse my honesty, but I do not wish any human being to go through my experience. Hence I have the need to speak about it. And only anonimously. Take my word: you don't want this.\nPD: I am aged 46.
505899
i would leave her if she can't keep to you for five years then what if you get married how do you know she wont do it in the future or right now. You never realize how much you like something till its gone but for her i think she is just gone
52310
My wife held out.  Been married 12 years.  I guess I do respect a woman who would be proper.
567700
Yes, when you take your marriage vows you say that you that you will take this person "for sickness and health...forsaking all others." Forsaking all others means just that, you will remain emotionally and physically devoted to that individual only. \n\nIf you were dating a person but were not having sex, would you not still say that you were in a "relationship."  Yes, and the reason is that we all acknowledge that being in a "relationship" means much, much more than the physical aspect. \n\nTherefore, to say that b/c we did not have sex I did not cheat on you is entirely wrong. He needs to own up to the situation. I am not saying your marriage is over, he needs to face what he did and you both need to start rebuilding the trust so that healing can take place. I wish you the best.
259366
I know my husband isn't the cheating type, but at the same time why would you want to put a person in the position to have to make that choice? The temptation is to big if he has already said that he is attracted to her. So no I wouldn't have it!!
318773
Yes they can do that....you want the truth....stop having sex until you are married....then she won't have to be checked for something she has no business doing right now.  The two of you need to build a strong relationship (without sex) if that can last.....hey, you may have a good future together.  But, for now, yes...there are ways to know if a person is sexually active.
546890
I think people should have completely open relationships with their partners - I do, there is nothing I would not do around my fiance. I do know some women that will not do certain "personal" things around their husbands and they have been married 15 - 20 years. Personal being like go to the bathroom or something of that nature.
19552
WOW! IT'S ALL ABOUT INDIVIDUAL CHOICES. BUT HE SHOULD HAVE DISCUSED THIS ISLAM ISSUE WITH HIS PARTNER IN LIFE, HIS WIFE.  HIS DECISION  MIGHT  EFFECT HER  EMOTIONALY.I DON'T WHANT TO INPOSE MY IDEA ON HOW PERSONALY I FEEL ABOUT THIS,IT WOULD BE A SELF CENTERD OPINION OF MINE, AND THATS WRONG.EVERYBODY HAVE THERE OWN CHOICES TO CHOSE WHAT THEY LIKE.
128503
*shakes head* Woman... I would RUN so fast and so FAR in the other direction after packing my kids up!\n\nI dealt with a man for a year - who was addicted to all kinds of porn, tried to get me into working with him for a porn site, had a foot fetish, and the last straw was him watching chicks with d**ks do each other.\n\nIf it was a simple, stupid mistake for your man, then fine - but check the history on the computer for the next 4 weeks. See what the heck else turns up. This is not something that a 'normal' person would find exciting and enticing.\n\nMind you, I'm not against gays, porn, etc... most things are good in moderation  - but I just remember how much pain I went through trying to save my relationship after all the truths came out (after 8 months of being together) and how the last 4 months together were HE**. I'd hate for anyone else to go through that...\n\nGood luck... be well.
359996
Wow, sounds like that guy has serious girl problems.  I waited to have sex until after I got married.  It was the best decision I could have made and my husband respects me for it.  Which is saying a lot because I made him wait for almost two years.  But all people are different, sounds like your friend met all rotten ones.
140976
My wife and I were both virgins when we got married. She was also my first kiss. I was 19, she was 20. We are both popular socially, and considered to be attractive and physically fit. I had only one GF before her and I was her first BF. It's great and wonderful and we wouldn't want to have it any other way. It a lifestyle choice. We are much happier the any of the ppl we know that have chosen other lifestyles. I highly respect you for your self-control. Just don't settle for someone who doesn't appreciate that quality in you.\n\nP.s. Please read my question if you have time
423764
Many Many years ago I did just that. I was unsure about my relationship at the time and just wanted to get away from my life and responsibilities and got with someone whom I had no history with. It was an escape which is all it was designed to be. I returned to my life and have been married 21 years and never looked back and can't imagine being with anyone else ever again.
568560
This happened to my husband and I also.  Exactly, almost word for word.  Look.  She wants to know where you are and what you are doing because she loves you sooo much... more than anything in the world...  she can't bear to be without you and so when you are not around her the devil starts making her insecure and making her think there could be things going on.  AND that doesn't neccissarily mean cheating.  He could be telling her that she's not good enough for you, or that you could do better, or that you want out, or that you can't stand being with her.  So many different possibilities.  As far as her thinking that you are mad at her all of the time.  The SAME thing happened at the SAME time with us when we first got married.  I was always crying and always scared that he was mad at me for something...  Even though he wasn't.  He started getting really freaked out and the same thing happened to him.  He lost his sex drive because of it.  Which on my end made it worse because I thought that he didn't love me anymore because woman use sex with her husband that she loves with all of her heart as a way to feel close to him and for her to get the feelings of love from him.  The threats are normal!  No matter what ANYBODY says... they are all normal... Divorce, this, that... NORMAL!!  I don't think that you should divorce her.  We had a lot of struggles with the same thing .. EXACT same thing.  and we have been married HAPPILY married for 2 years now.  DON'T DIVORCE HER!  Especially if you love her.  As far as counceling goes... I didn't want to go either.  It's just a hit to my pride to know that I have to get counceling from somebody else about something that is supposed to be mine to control and make all better.  If you or her wants to talk to me or my hubby email us... it's hurleybabeprincess20@yahoo.com... seriously... \n\nDon't listen to these other idiots.... I would love to talk with her... \nNO marriage is perfect.  And you always have to take time and extra effort to make things work.  Make sure that you go to church regularly... and make sure that the church that you go to is a good church.  You can ask your wife if you can talk to the pastor on your own time about it personally... you will know by what the pastor tells you... if he is called to the ministry.  There will NEVER be a divorce option if he is.  The Bible is specific on the reasons for divorce.  You don't have any of them.  \n\n\nYOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD READ... THE POWER OF A PRAYING HUSBAND AND GET YOUR WIFE THE POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE... BOTH BY STORMIE OMARTIAN\n\n\nbtw... where are you 2 located?