I want to help my cousin want to go to school and want to try but i feel completely helpless. he has absolutely NO motivation or care to go to school. He does drugs and smokes cigarettes even though his grandma is currently suffering because of smoking her whole life. I want to get him to go to school and to stop doing as many drugs as he is, and to quit smoking. Am i trying to help too much? Is it out of my hands? Is there ANYTHING i can do at all, or anything i can say to make him feel guilty or like he needs to change without pissing him off (which is really easy)
205569
sounds like your cousin is a jerk that doesnt want the best for himself. people like that cannot be helped. i suggest you put a gun to his head and tell him to sort out his f***ing life because he is wasting his time. be tough
527764
Sounds like you really need to have a dr. look at him and speak with his teacher.  As for help near Yonkers, i can tell you this.  DO NOT send this child to a Yonkers Public School.  they will do him a disservice and will not provide the help he may need.  He may need special schooling.
51387
All you can do is encourage him, he has to want to do it.  You can't force someone into action, the most you can do is to try to show him the ways in which going back to school will benefit him in the long run.  Ambition and drive is something that a person has to have within and if he fails to see the importance of an education, then there isn't much that you can do.
162450
I would first take a step back a breathe.  Delegate around the house, make the kids help.  It's still young so it will be easier to get them to.  Small tasks and more as they grow, by the time they are 12-14 they can do most of the tasks for you making your life easier (sure that's a ways away but it's a start)  4 yo can pick up toys and take them to the room, 6 yo can dust lower shelves (NO CHEMICALS) or pic up clothes, make a game taking them to laundry area.  Cut back the school.  See if you can swing going only 1 or 2 days a week.  Then get those days off of work.  Or go to school after work making 2 days off in a row to do family and YOU things.  (This helped me when i was working 80 hrs a week at 2 jobs.)  Lastly, if you find yourself getting to Anxious, and worrying TOO much, it may be a sign you need to talk to your doctor.  Everyone gets down or overwhelmed.  But when you can't get out, it's perfectly fine to ask for help.
443544
there are really good chances of your friend staying clean with the right treatment and help. I think this is the wrong place because you have stupid people saying there is no chance, but then really nice people like there have been being supportive which is exactly what ure friend needs at this time, if people dont believe him/her why should he believe in himself? People seem to forget that everyone make mistakes in life and is a learning process. Im currently doing a degree in mental health and there are so many things to help your friend, sadly addicts only seem to realise when they hit rock bottom and lose everything, but that could be a good thing as they learn to pick themselves up again, please dont pay anyattention to people being narrow minded its because they dont understand addiction or are ignorant, he has a good friend by the sounds of it and that what they need, SUPPORT so the best thing is to go to the GP and see if they can get involved in some sort of therapy or interest. One of my favourites is art therapy and it creates so much self awareness and a new focus on life ! something different and rewarding with lots of love and support from loved ones like friends and family i hope ive been some help and good luck to him everyone deserves a second chance !
277606
just give them lots of support and help with their studies. Tell them you love them and just do your best and that if there's any help they need, that your always there for them.
246449
I know its difficult but isn't the time factor a motivation for you? I think that you should just do it, just talk to him. Time is running out and at least tell him now. The great thing about the situation is that you can tell him and if the whole thing goes wrong then at least you're out of school and don't have to deal with this problem. The way I see it, is that this is the best time to tell him. It's now or never.
47261
May I answer your question with a few questions of my own? First, are you absolutely, positively, 100% sure that he wants to quit smoking weed? If not, it's a lost cause. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. It all has to do with mental capacities. If your friend hasn't set his mind to actually quitting, all the help in the world that you offer him won't mean a thing. He's got an addiction, love, and just like bad habits, they are hard to break.\n\nSecond, is he willing to let go of these other friends that he uses as a cruX to blame his addiction on? If the answer is no, I'm afraid the best thing you can do for him is pray. Let's put this to a hypothetical test:\n\nSay your friend (let's call him Karl for the sake of conversation), Karl, gets help with the addiction. He stays clean for 3 months. For being clean for 3 months, he decides to throw a party. He invites the people that he blamed his addiction on to said party. What do you think will happen by the end of the night? Do you honestly believe that Karl will leave that party clean or do you think it more likely that Karl will leave that party addicted again? He's gotta GET RID OF HIS FRIENDS.\n\nSometimes, we want the best for others. I commend you for even caring about someone that has an addiction. Far too often, we overlook these things and blame it on whatever we choose to blame it on. Yet you are actually looking for answers on how to help him. Let's review: #1) He's got to want to quit smoking this marijuana. #2) He's got to want to get rid of his friends. And just for an eXtra-added bonus, #3) He's got to want to stay clean. God bless you!\n\nHope that helped!
161043
I am not sure that this will be of any help (i am only 13) but maybe if you knew what first caused her depression (a death? a divorce?) it could help her but trying to convince her that her children (or any one close to her) are sad because of her depression could make it worse because she will feel guilty.  This is only what I think and may not be true, but I hope it helps you and your family!
602352
You REALLY NEED to leave him...it is ABSOLUTLY the best thing to do.  In the long run you will be much better off!!!  You don't need to help him...he (at some point) needs to help himself and he may need to come to a very low point in his life for that to happen but that is usually what motivates people to change and get help.  Best to you!!!
270602
My son, who is age 16, didn't go as far as your friend did. He just recently got out of a special hospital here that deals with this type of situation. I honestly know how you feel, but mine goes deeper because it was my son. His depression started when he lost his best friend to suicide, and I've been helping him try to cope with this, it happened in March. Then, the next thing I knew, we went for a regular checkup at the doctor's office. And then I heard him say he tried to cut his hand off when he was at his dad's house, but a neighbor stopped him. That's when the doctor put him in the hospital. Now, he is on medication to deal with his depression. We both get counseling together with a therapist and separately we see different psychiatrists to help us both cope with everything. You don't say exactly how you caused him to flip out and get depressed again. But, I have learned that I wasn't the blame for my sons actions. I felt that it was my fault, that I had said the wrong thing to make him upset. He was depressed from not only his best friend committing suicide, he was getting pressure to do things from friends his age, alot of things was building up inside his mind that he couldn't cope with the world around him. Your friend may have already had problems built up inside that whatever you said may have just triggered past emotions. Not what you had said in that moment of time. You mentioned that everyone cuts ourselves, I'm sure that you meant that when we peel potatoes or apples, that sometimes we may cut our finger by accident. We don't purposely do it. The best advice I can give you is to stand by your friend because he needs all the support you can give him. I'm sure the doctors will give him medication to help his depression. It may take time for the meds to work, but you seem to like your friend very much. Even if you can go to a support group, which several places have free support groups to help cope with your friends depression and it may help you understand that it isn't your fault. Good Luck and if you need to talk to someone, you can get to my email by clicking my name. The email address is hidden.
545884
Do you have a close friend or a close relative that you can talk with?  Are you in your teenage years, if you are, that can be a trying time.  Maybe you should talk w/a therapist or a minister about your issue.  Please keep trying your best, and stay focused.  You're not doing anything wrong, your just searching for support and guidance.  Try to stay strong.
146841
when i was in h.s. and about to start college, my family fell onto hard time. I am very close to my family and wanted to put off going into school for them so that i could help out with my father and his illness. When i told my mom my plans to help out, she looked at me and said, "you've been with us your whole life. You have helped out, and you have been a good kid. Now it's your turn to go out and start a new life, for yourself. Don't let your family's hard times keep you down, just keep us in your hearts and don't stop loving us and we'll do the same. We will still be family no matter where you go." So just remember that you are an adult (assumedly) and it's your life to live, and while you love your family and want to be close to them, they'll understand if you choose to live far away from them.
38061
hey , since you're a cool smarty girl you probably already no there is no shame in asking for and accepting help from outside resources when your fam can't quite cut it... my family was (i guess you could say) kinda poor too...definitely couldn't afford a therapist on our own, but anyways, everybody is right, express a need at your school and they will likely assign you a caseworker and a therapist (i even had something called a rap worker, rap was some sort of acronym)whatever... i'm just proud of you for being so young and openminded enough to consider therapy!!good luck to you!!! my thoughts and well wishes are with you!\np.s. \nsome peops will look at your choice as a weakness but as i mentioned earlier, you sound too smart to buy into that crapola...it takes strength to embark on the journey you are about to take, as you will soon find... inner strength that many people spend their whole lives in search of!!
80271
Actually, go volunteer in the public schools. Go to schools in low-income areas and devote your time. It makes a HUGE difference just by spending time with the kids. I do it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love the kids, and they get something out of it. Many of them keep going to school when they get older because they had something to look forward to when they were younger. It keeps them off drugs and lets them know someone cares. That does a lot more than you would think.
86443
yes , you should get help before it is too late.. if you don't feel comfortable taking to your mom than talk to  a teacher or Friend or someone you trust so that they can help you .. hope this helps
149905
you need to get help for him with his parents if he is depressed or on drugs he needs help and his family can get him the help he needs,,so if you really care about him you will do something to help him .. tell his parents