Does anyone know the joke that Juds character was starting to tell before he fell through the ceiling?  \n\nIf memory serves, it starts off "a guy walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a 6 foot salami under the other arm..." and then he falls and you don't here the rest.\n\nThis has driven me nuts since the 1st time I saw the movie
214153
I saw some "pop-up video" version of that movie once and they said there is no joke.  He was just ad-libbing as he went along.
451133
hey!!! i like the joke...but i feel like i heard it somewhere before...now where could that have been?!?! hehe! love it anyway!!
378476
Funny you should bring that up. I just saw it a few hours ago. My personal views on the movie... Well, I though it was mostly funny. I just don't like that much cussing. I think it's kind of embarassing. Jack Black and Kyle Gass wrote almost all the songs in the movie. I thought the basic idea of the movie was interesting. And I didn't know Tim Robbins was going to have a cameo in it.
632373
Its from the movie Caddyshack.  If you haven't seen it you should, its pretty funny and the "Noonan" scene  will stick with you!\n\nNoonan is putting and his opponents are yelling "Noonan" to throw him off.
286608
Jejejeje! I loved that movie! Seriously! Still, when I don't have a lot on my mind the scene where Danny got shot jumps into my head and makes me really sad. That scene was more disturbing to me than the curb scene. Ed Norton was so amazing. He got the part exactly! The emotions you see in his face are unbelievable. \n\nShalabra as you know these are the scenes that made me cry:\n\n1. The store scene\n2. The curb scene\n3. The rape scene in prison\n4. The scene when Danny and Derek take down the Nazi stuff on the wall\n5. The scene when Danny gets killed\n6. The deleted scene when the two skinheads harass the old lady and she gets sad...but I think that was more because I was still emotional from Danny's death.\n\nAnd Shalabra...answer me please...the thing that bugs me a lot is that I'm scared Derek will go back to being a skin head. I mean partly why he became one in the first place was because his dad was killed by a black guy...so now that his brother was killed by a black guy, I'm scared his anger will rise again and he'll go back to being one.  That thought scared me more than anything...even though it's just a movie.
455427
That was thee FUNNIEST JOKE I have seen in a very long time!And like BatFink.......I too found myself singing along!  If you would have had this in my "10 points for funniest joke" question,  you would have gotten it.......Hands down! LOL
177979
I hope somebody in here really knows. When I finished watching the episode, I really wasn't sure if it was supposed to be a joke or if Comedy Central really did censor it. \n\nThe fact that it's not clear that it was a joke suggests to me that it wasn't...but I'm just not sure.\n\nUpdate!!  It wasn't a joke - Comedy Central really did censor it!! Here's a link to the news article:\n\nhttp://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060413/ap_on_en_tv/tv_south_park_muhammad
466203
Real Funny.\n\nRead this one\n\nThe Deaf Genie\n\nA man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the\nbag on the counter.\n\nThe bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.\n\nThe man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one\nfoot high, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag\nand pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.\n\nHe reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench,\nwhich he places in front of the piano.\nThe little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful\npiece by Mozart!\n\n"Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.\n\nThe man responds by reaching into the paper bag.\nThis time he pulls out a lamp. He hands it to the bartender and\nsays..."Here. Rub it."\n\nSo the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke\nand a beautiful genie is standing before him.\n\n"I will grant you one wish. Just one wish...each person is allowed only one!"\n\nThe bartender gets really excited.\n\nWithout hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!"\n\nA few moments later, a duck walks into the bar.\nIt is soon followed by another duck, then another.\nPretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!\n\nThe bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's\na little deaf...I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."\n\n"Tell me about it!!" says the man...\n\n"Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"\n\nBYE - Imtiyaz G
23814
If a Guy walks into a bar he would say "ouch".\n\nIf a Guy goes into a bar he says "Did I leave my woman in here last night?  'Cause I woke up with a dog!!!\n\n(HA HA)
317545
Okay,\n\nWillie was rolling down the hall of his nursing home like he was driving a car, when an aide turned the corner and seen him, the aide asked what are you doing Willie responded im driving to chicago for a week on vacation The aide chuckled and entered johns room only to catch john pleasuring himself, when asked what he was doing john responded im screwing willies wife while hes in chicago!\n\n\nAn elderly Lady bought a set of parrots, when she got them hold she couldnt figure out which was male and which one was the female, she called the pet store and asked, the employee said just watch them closely and it will become obvious. She watched for weeks when finally they did what comes natural she cut a ring from cardboard and placed it around the males neck.\nHours later the local preacher showed up at the womans home, The parrot took one look at the preachers collar and said she caught you in the act to!!!\n\n\nWhat did god say when Michael Jackson got to the pearly gates?\nNig*a i didnt make you this way!\n\n\nA little girl was walking through town with her mother when she picked up something off the ground and stuck it in her mouth. Her mothert warned her not to do that, it has germs on it and such. The girl asked how do you know. Of course everyone knows this stuff. She replied:You have to know that stuff to become a mommy its on the mommys test you have to know it to pass. They walked on a little longer in silence as the girl was pondering this new information, Suddenly the girls says with enthusiasm "I get it if you fail, you have to be the daddy!!!"\n\nHope you like it!
235455
lmfao, ty... that was very funny... however, because I am very tough on ratings in general (makes ya wonder why I'm married to who I'm married to and why I've let myself go over the years, cuz I would only give myself a 4 or 5 right now)\nI give it only a 7.5 only because it is a little see-through.  However, a very funny joke.  Thanks.
360396
As Matt was leaving, he said to Kitty, keep that light on for me.\n\nMiss Kitty asked him where he was going and Matt replied  " Kitty, we've never needed explanations before."\n\nKitty said mister, you aren't the first gunny come lookin' for me and you won't be the last, and if you start horsing around, I'm gonna get on you like ugly on an ape.\n\nMatt left and Kitty turned on Festus and says " Festus, is there anything in that head of yours, that you would let Matt go after those robbers by himself?  What if something happens to him.  You know, no woman ever loved a man more that I loved Matt Dillon.  Now I suggest you, get off your dead @ss and get on that mule of yours and go help Matt."\n\nWith that Festus didn't argue with Miss Kitty and he left.
484061
I just wanted to remind you that this joke was posted many times.\n.\nA little editing would have shortened the joke.... See, 2 lines are reduced.\n\nfather passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up.\n\nThen, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.\n\nIt was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
537503
My most favorite joke in the movie is during the dinner party when he's like 'in my countries, they'd go crazy for these two', 'not so much' and point to the dude's wife...\n\nThe naked scene though make me a little uncomfortable & the fact that it went on for so long kinda make me like they should not have done that...\n\nI give it 4 stars, could be better, but generally entertaining, and that's what movie suppose to do for you.
497905
This is my FAVORITE movie! Lots of irony in it. I think its a masterpiece. Of course, the movie is not for everyone. I didnt understand it the first time I watched it, but I figured it out. It's definately film noir, and I bet most people who watch it don't really see how funny and pathetic military and groupthink can be. \n\n'has he got a chance?? hell ye........'
562241
OK, here's what I think: Henry's brain was dying and he was in a waivering state of consciousness and distressed that he crashed the car and killed the people he loved. What's going on in real life around him - the people standing over him and what they are saying, losing the ring as it fell out of his pocket, hearing that his parents and gf were dead, etc. - is warped with his memories of his life as he's processing that he's dying. When he commits suicide in his head it's his realization that it's time to let go. He even admits to himself that it's all a hallucination when he tells the confused and upset "Sam" not to worry because he's real. \n\nThe brain, even in a restful dream state, can do this. I've fallen asleep with the TV on and incorporated what is happening on TV into my dreams somehow. \n\nThat was the explanation for the ending...Well the movie was about......\n\nthe attempts of a psychiatrist to prevent one of his patients from committing suicide, while trying to maintain his own grip on reality.
210254
Once upon a time all dogs were invited to\na party. When they arrived at the party\nthey were required to leave their\nbutts at the door. All the dogs hung them\non hooks by the door.\nThe party went on and the dogs were\nhaving a great time. All of a sudden\na fire broke out. The dogs raced to\nthe door and grabbed whichever Glutaeus Maximus\nthey could grab first,\nIn an effort to find their own Glutaeus Maximus.\nthat is why, to this very day,\ndogs sniff each other's butts!!!!