Have you heard about the oh no bird? It has two inch legs and three inch testicles, so every time he lands he says oh no! Ther is mine. What's yours?
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My brother told me this one :)\n\nLittle Johnny was minding his own business one day when he heard the bed creaking in his parents room. Curious, he opened the door to see his mom bouncing up and down on his daddys tummy. When she was done he got up the courage to ask her what was going on.\n\n"Mommy?" Johnny asked. "Why were you bouncing on Daddy's tummy?"\n\n"Well Johnny," his mommy said, "You know that big bulge daddy has around his middle?"\n\n"Yes." replied Johnny\n\n"Well sometimes Mommy has to bounce on that bulge to make it flat again." \n\nConfused, Johnny looks up at his mommy and says\n\n"I don't know why you bother because tomorrow the neighbor lady will just come over and blow it back up again."
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Noah said, "Now I have HERD everything."  Do you know what animal Noah couldn't trust?  The cheetah. And what kind of lights did he use on the Ark?  Flood lights. And why couldn't anyone play cards on the Ark?  Because Noah was sitting on the deck!
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A bee!\nSee the itty bitty ducks?\nThem are ducks!\nOh yes they are!\nSee the itty bitty wings?\nI'll be!  Them are ducks!
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This one is on the front page at eBaumsWorld.com: \nMike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown." Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?" The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around!'"
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WHAT'S GOT 100 TEETH AND HOLDS BACK A MONSTER?\n\n\nMY FLIES!
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WHATT?????\nWHAT R U TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!\nGAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!\nI HATE U, NOT LIKE U!!!!\nU R SUCH A SILLY GOOSE!!!!
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FLESHSNAKE!! ROTFLMAO\n\nThat is f@ckin hilarious!
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Don't laugh ok?  Really, don't even think about laughing!  I am not funny...I have not jokes, don't laugh---ok- heres a little one but dont laugh!\n\nA guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.\n \n"You talk?" he asks.\n \n"Yep," the Lab replies.\n \n"So, what's your story?"\n \nThe Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I pretty young and I wanted to help the government,\nso I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with\nspies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping I was one of their most valuable spies for\neight years running.\n \n"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed\nup for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening\nin.\n \nI uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm\njust retired."\n \nThe guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.\n \n"Ten dollars." The guy says,\n \n"This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"\n \n"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that!"
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Six weeeks?  Lord that's a long time to hide.  Would you believe I lost mine?  I found them later, but that is the last thing in the world I could ever imagine loosing.  My husband thought it was hilarious, I didn't find it too funny, until it was all over with.  So, I just took the bull by the horns and went to town without them.  Funny sight!!!
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How much is that Doggie in the window, \nIt;s really nothing you see,\nIt might be a Pomeranian or a Pit-Bull\nA real Indian delicacy.\nHow is that for an Indian Joke?\nSorry, but I had to respond to your response for my jokes, Hope I offended you this time. NOT Take care. BASSCATCHER.
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That was thee FUNNIEST JOKE I have seen in a very long time!And like BatFink.......I too found myself singing along!  If you would have had this in my "10 points for funniest joke" question,  you would have gotten it.......Hands down! LOL
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hey, you're right. bunny foo foo IS funny.\n\nthanks for another one to watch.\n\ni like the pesci Question. har. very good.
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It was actually a minah bird.  It appeared in five cartoons with the little African native boy Inki.  The last of these toons was the only one with a dinosaur, "Caveman Inki".
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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you".\n\nHe nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you. " Totally rattled, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.\n\n"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.\n\n"Yes," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you. "The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are any way?"\n\n"Moses," Replied the bird.\n\n"Moses" the burglar laughed.\n\n"What kind of stupid people would name a parrot 'Moses'?"\n\nThe bird promptly answered: "The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'!
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..."A small penis that doesn't work"...\n\nHa,ha,ha you are funny.where did you get  this silly story?
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sounds like something my youngin said when he was a baby...maybe toe stumped, lol
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I go with C. \n\na) Chickens don't fly very well.\nb)Water is denser than air, and mercury is denser than water. It's true.\nd)But, if the cat is drunk it won't land on it's feet.