She is still hospitalized and is 30 yrs old. She met a man on the Internet and they feel in love.I met him once, and hated the way he looked at me.Not normal male looking at female;almost perverted.She was there when this happened.I visited her today and she told me he had told her she was abnormal vaginally, he picked on her looks, appearance, and a small birthmark she has on her toe.After 9 mths, he proposed to her, and she accepted. He then told her he did not love her and never had. He held up every woman he could in front of her and told her she should look more like "that".My friend is now someone I cannot help. Docs say he was a psychopath/NPD who used his power to control her mind. I am very scared for this lovely woman.She has had ultra sound to Prove to HER she is normal as a woman, but she cannot accept this. She told me he even used 15 yr old girls against her. Sadly he never gave a reason for breaking their wedding, and she feels she is NOTHING as a woman.
199260
In all likely-hood, if your husband did confront this individual, it could lead to violence, and that could lead to trouble for him.  It would be best, if he did not do this a psychopath can be very dangerous, and the police would go after the individual that started the confrontation.  If there is some suggestion of minor females, you might try looking around on some sex offender web sites, and see if maybe he has some history in that area.  From what you said he said, this might be a possibility.\n\nAs for your friend, there is not much you can do to make her get her head back on straight.  She has to do that herself.  Maybe someone else can come up with some better suggestions, I am all out of ideas.
10994
Absolutely she can give it to them.  Condom boxes even have warnings on them for that.  She can also transmit it through oral sex.  Whether its wrong for you to tell the guys about her condition depends on your relationship w/ the guys.  Are they related to you or have you known them a long time?  If not, then I would say no, stay out of it because it could be misconstrued as slander from you or gossiping.  The friend needs to grow up and do whats right herself and tell the guys.  She obviously has more problems than she can handle as it is since you specify "guys" as in more than one which is probably how she got it in the first place.  As a friend, you should strongly encourage her to get both medical and psychiatric help for the 2 problems.  Give her emotional support but otherwise stay out of it.
282344
Honestly, people! This person while may have lesbian tendencies, as far as being attracted to a woman, is sick.\nYou are talking about a problem upstairs sister.\nThe person you describe has many problems and I will explain why.\n1. She is going after a person whom she knows is straight and will never "cross over" that is irrational behaviour\n2. She sniffs your underwear--Now ask yourself, even if a man did this, wouldn't you be a little creeped out? I know that I would\n3. She is living in a delusional world...she is touching you regardless and making up scenarios where you are getting married\n4. SHE TRIED TO RAPE YOU!!! SICK, and if a guy did this he is sick\nThis really has nothing to do with whether or not she is a lesbian, this is a girl who has a LOT of psychological problems. SHE IS NOT A GOOD FRIEND!!! Good friends don't do this to each other. Why are you still hanging around with her? Ditch her and if she stalks you some more call the police and make record of when she is doing this.\nGood luck
639245
Wow this is serious...but from my point of view I think this woman does love him in some weird twisted way. I think she feels like he will change. If she really wanted to get out of the relationship she would report the abuse and get a restraining order. If he is an unfit parent she would definately win. But Honestly there is nothing you can do. she is not going to move on until she is completely over him. This is coming from someone who was in a similar situation...Minus the children!!! \n\nI hate to say it but you are simply he morale booster and a shoulder to cry on when she needs it. Alll you can do is show her that there is someone better out there and hopefully she will move on before it is too late...\n\nGood Luck!
452631
Wow, the deception will not go away. Really once it has been done like that it will just happen again, and again. The only way she will stop is if she never did it in the first place. Maybe she will find a man she can be honest with, but once that line has been crossed it is so easy to just do it again. I am speaking from experience. I have finally found the one man I can give my life to, and he always comes before me. You just need to find that one woman. I truly believe if she has a heart felt apology she means it, but when things get sticky is when it is so easy to do it again. You just have to never do it even the first time. My advice to you is pick up your pieces and start putting your own life together. The rest will follow suit. Maybe not when and how you like it, but in the end, just stay true and good to yourself, things will be as they were meant to be. I have empathy for your sorrow and wish you a short road to get to your happyness!
622169
Wow!  If you talk like this about a friend, I 'd hate to see how you diss your enemies!  Friends are supposed to be supportive, non-judmental and not broadcast the other friend's weaknesses.  The answer is to just speak privately to her.\n\nBe tactful and tell your friend that you are worried about her and why.  Please do not call her a "whore" or not "good looking enough" as you will hurt her feelings and close her mind to anything constructive you might have to say.  Not to mention that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and your opinion may not be the same as someone else.  You might want to tactfully suggest that she seek counseling to find out why she is on a self-destruct course.  There may be some driving force or emotional issue in her past that you know nothing about.\n\nHowever, she is an adult at 19 and is entitled to make her own choices and mistakes in her life so if she rejects what you say, you have to accept it.
676191
That is her HUSBAND, for better or for worse. It seems as though she loves him so much and that is a very good thing. You should be proud of your friend. But if you want to give her advice in the intimacy department, tell her that she doesn't have to completely shut that aspect out of their relationship. There are definitely things they can do to be intimate without intercourse, and it can be very fulfilling for both her and her husband.  Other than that, I would say just encourage her to stay as loving and as faithful as she is to her husband.  After all, its not his fault and he still deserves to be loved too!
440494
I think you have to be with your friend now, spend more time with him to take him out of this situation. It is difficult for 17 year to come out of this and i think you can help him to be strong.\n\nYou should not trust your other friend, if it was time-pass you have to be very careful with her. It seems like she is time-pass herself.\nDon't every trust her.\n\nCommitting Suicide is a crazy act, it seems like your friend is not strong at all.\n\nTell me one thing " why do i guess that you may be in love with your friend". You care so much about him why????
44007
It's been my experience that people will do what they want to, no matter what you tell them. They think they have all the answers they need and know what's best for them. Even if you had lots of experience in this area, they'll still do what they want. Many will actually get angry with you for trying to stop their "happiness". I would just let her know that you love her and only want what's best, but you will back off and let her choose her own path, even if it means pain & rejection of her boyfriend. Let her know that you'll always be there for her if she needs a shoulder or an ear to listen. Leave the door of friendship open, because she's gonna need it. This is a train wreck, waiting to happen. You know it. I know it. Been there, done that...it bites! Sounds like she wants to get pregnant. I know a few young gals like her. They think having a baby will solve all their problems and make their fella stay with them forever. It often drives them away, leaving the gal with a baby and more problems that she's not ready to handle yet. It's a long downward spiral. You are a good friend. You see what could happen and you're trying to save her from herself. You can't. If you push too much, she'll just cut you out of her life, slamming the door of friendship in your face, with no way out for her when her world falls apart. And actually, birth control & condoms aren't 100%, as I'm sure you know. I have a 22 year old girl because of failed birth control. Unfortunately, I think you're just going to have to allow her the opportunity for experience to be her teacher. Just be there for her. <*)))><
631124
They do not speak to each other.  Apparently, she thought he was critical of her in an interview he gave.  I am not absolutely sure but I think she claims it was about her having adopted when she first did.  She also often said that she did not appreciate his cheating on her mother.  Not very consistent for a woman who slept with a married man.  He has expressed that he would like to make amends but she is not budging.
626165
I agree with you and I don't believe we should dismiss these kind of blatant abuses under the catchall idea that the person being victimized is old enough to know better. Clearly, your mother has some serious self-esteem issues if she finds any of what you are describing as not only acceptable, but forgiveable. Until she addresses whatever inside herself tolerates such bad behavior, she is doomed to repeat the same mistake in the next relationship even if she left this guy. Unfortunately, society also forces women into this position because, truth is, an attached woman (regardless of what kind of man she is attached to) is considered to be better than an unattached one. Sad, but the reality we live in.\n\nPersonally, if I was in that situation I would move out and tell my mother that I can not bear witness to her self destruction. It might be harsh, but sometimes people have to feel the void in order to realize how their actions negatively impact those around them.
324151
It sounds like your friend has A LOT to learn and is going to learn it all the hard way. The fact that she has a list even is insane. You are absolutely right that when she said yes to him, it was as is. That's all she is going to get and the sooner she realizes it, the better. I mean, it's one thing to get your man to put the toilet seat down (possible) or get him to not fart at the grocery store (impossible), but when it comes to things that are part of him, his personality, his inherent behaviors, etc, she is going to hit one brick wall after another. If she is that unhappy with the way that he is that she felt compelled to write a list of things to change about him in one month, then she should not have said yes to begin with. She is going to be very dissapointed, and she is going to drive her man crazy!!
617679
She needs to be thinking of your children right now, and focusing on their needs. Clearly if she bearly knows this guy, it is not appropriate for her to expose her children to him. The reason that they got molested, is because she didn't screen the guys she marries in the first place to make sure that hed be a fit parent or not, hence she married and had kids with a loser who is now behind bars. She needs to give her children more attention, since there is clearly a problem since it took her a while to find out about the molestation. I do think that she is trying to move on with her life too quickly, and should stop and take time to think whats the next best move for her and her children. Also the children would definately need therapy of some sort, and by moving on with her life she is indirectly telling them to move on with theirs and implying that what happened to them didn't matter. Her children might interpret this as neglect, and not feel that they are important to her, which could be a floodgate for future incidents or behaviour that they may be involved in. She should think of her childrens future and not just her own. Especially not while shes blinded by her latest love.
164030
you are such a friend and i hope i have one just like you, but sadly the only thing you can do is give your own thoughts about their relationship and where you you think it is headed, other than that you can't do anything beyond what you are permitted to do,. and you can never impose upon them what you would want to happen in their relationship. it is up to them to decide so long as you are there and guiding them is just what the doctor would recommend.
295611
I want to say that your friend is wrong for going about it the WRONG way. She should have been honest and maybe it wouldn't feel so bad when it's happened. You have every right to feel betrayed because she was not completely honest with you. Nevertheless we all are humans and as the person before me stated, people act on their instincts. She had a crush on him, or maybe she thought she did or whatever it may be, the realization is that they're having that special thing while you're hurt from it. What I would do is move on. I'd give her my well-wishing and if I could handle being friends with her, I'd maintain contact with her. Don't fall for the "third-wheel" plots, I hate those, make sure to avoid them because you may find yourself becoming extremely angry at your friend and her not knowing it. That's all I can see myself doing in this situation is just moving on. Good luck with this.
87281
She is testing to see how much she can control your friend. Same thing happened with my brother. Have you tried talking to your friend about this, or is he totally oblivious to her death grip? Have your friend defy her demands, if she dumps him then she wasn't with him for the right reasons, if she doesn't dump him then life goes on.
238486
It depends on the type of person she is, I mean she might just feel guilty. I would be curious as to why he feels the need to come but I would just try to get to know him if you really concerned that he has other intentions. Other wise don't make the bride to be angry it is dangerous! She is under a lot of stress as it is. Congrats