I have been best friends with *Betty for seven years now, like sisters really. We may not always like each other, but we can't stop loving each other and we are the first one each other runs to when something happens. It's always been that way, and always will be, but this past year Betty has gone through some changes. She's lost a LOT of weight. She got a job at a factory and the pounds just dropped, it's done wonders for her self-esteem, now she gets all kinds of attention from guys, lucked up and got a brand new car, found a dress style that's cute and shows off her new figure, but I think she may be taking it a little too far. She calls me fat now, even though she has only gone down one size smaller than me, and I can still wear her clothes! Not just image, it's everything. My life, my clothes, she puts them down. She even disrespects my boyfriend. I think she thinks I should be, or am, jealous. I'm not. I'm happy for her, but why's she trippin on me?
209438
Your friend is very insecure- if she can make you look bad she feels superior.\n\nYou need to find another best friend because if she were truly your friend she would not do the things she does to you.\n\nWith friends like her you certainly do not need any enemies
42395
Ok so lets be realistic here NOONE is perfect and most people find it very difficult to admit when they are wrong. I had a friend tell me something once that I wont easily forget, he said "everyone has a weakness and you can use that for your benefit". After that I saw things differently. Not that Im taking advantage of them but knowing they are human too and being able to look for and find it helped my esteem cause suddenly we were all on the same playing field. now I dont need that to know im a good person and i dont take others as personally anymore either.\n\nThe best part was poking a little fun at my "perfectly skinny friend" who always had a better than me attitude about weight (not that im fat) But i realized she is quite flat chested and it does bother her a bit and that cut her down to size. we are better friends now than ever.\n\nI just thought of something else. If some one says something that bothers you sometimes it helps to repeat it back to them in thier own words. "so your saying....." this creates a little 'yes' in thier mind and builds rapport between you. It also lets him hear himself and think about what he has said.
606349
wow. i think she's beyond jealous. first question, i understood it. second question...i wondered...this, being the third question...i'm starting to worry about you.
143040
If you care enough to feel bad, maybe you are more friend than you realize.  30 years from now she will be the only one you have any contact with... I would worry less about image, and that posse and more about doing the right thing.  Maybe have her over for a makeover... or have your posse do a total makeover on her... shes probably just scared or doesnt know what to do.
607639
oh man, it sounds like a divorce and is probably going to feel like a divorce.  If she thinks you are doing well and she is not, then that is her problem and not yours.  Don't let her make it your problem.  She has to come to terms with her own issues and maybe she can't do it if she is constantly comparing herself with you.  When you run into her, always smile, ask about her son, just carry on with life and maybe tell her you'd like them to come over for dinner sometime if you'd like.  She has dropped the friendship, not you, and so really the ball is in her court to pick it back up.
469585
Its nice to have a concerned friend but if she perceives your concern as bullying you will acheive nothing.  Losing weight is a very personal decision and she will not do it until she is ready to...;
181998
You're friend is treating you this way because (im assuming she) she has her own insecurities about herself. i dont know you, but you are probably an attractive popular girl? someone genuin? This other friend wants you to feel about about yourself. The way to tackle this is to understadn she is hating something about herself and try to bring it out of her, subtly and perhaps bit by bit. then when you're feeling more confident you can talk to her about the way she speaks to you and the names she calls you.
675970
Just be there for her.  Something's bothering her... it isn't just because she thinks she's fat.  but, in the mean time, try to get her to eat something...all the while reminding her that you are her friend and only want to help.
338408
It sounds like your friend is feeling very insecure, like she will lose your friendship or the place of honor in your life if you are happy in a dating relationship.  It could also be that she is not close to anyone else in her life and so she feels she needs to keep you all to herself or else she will be alone.\n\nFunny about this dynamic - when I got married I felt like I lost all of my girl friends, I wonder if they feel like I ditched them.  And when I had my first child, I couldn't get anyone I knew before to hang out with me.\n\nIt's a 3 way balancing act really - trying to have enough time for bf, gf and yourself - in addition to school or work (and as you get older you have more divisions and demands on your time).  \n\nYou need to sit down and decide for yourself what is right.  If you can understand this girl's feelings and you still want to be friends with her, you need to sit down with her and explain to her that you understand her feelings and remind her that you will do everything you can to be there for her.  Tell her how important your friendship is to you and that you need her friendship and support particularly now when you are branching out and growing.\n\nIt might also be helpful if you could fix her up with one of your bf's friends - then you could all 4 spend time together.\n\nIf you think she is just being unreasonable, or if you talk and can't come to an understanding, you may just have to realize that you are growing in the sphere of personal relationships and you may have just outgrown her.  Be happy for the years you have had together and wish her luck in her future endeavors - don't let it get ugly.
324708
Dang! from the stuff you wrote it sounds like you were a good boyfriend and even better a good friend... She's just an ingrate, you just have to move on and I promise you, you'll find someone who would consider herself to be lucky to be with you. Good luck wish you well and don't change you did nothing wrong.
446994
My sweetheart is in the same shoes but since i met him that way and began dating him that way I have accepted it but YES, it is the good thing to do to try and help the ones you love.  HOWEVER, overweight people are extremely sensitive about their weight and are very conscious indeed.  They are sensitive to people's piercing stares and inconsiderate comments.  Before you say anything, you must be aware of this sensitivity and DO NOT USE THE WORD FAT.  Try starting the conversation like "name of friend here, you have been a great friend to me and i really care about you.  I hope i have you in my life as a friend for a long time.  There is something that I am concerned about and wanted to talk with you about it though.  I noticed that you've put on some weight since college started...is everything ok...I think you are a beautiful person just the way you are and this has NOTHING TO DO with your LOOKS, but I am worried about your HEALTH.  I just want us to be friends for a long time to come.....is there anything I can do to help you?..."  Be supportive of her and let her know you are just trying o help.
420802
This is what she is affraid of. You are her best friend and she can't even talk to you because you haven't talked to her in almost a week. You just proved her point for her.My husband is my best friend. And back when he was just my best friend he told me that he thought we should try going out. We aready were going everywere together anyway. I turned him down also for the same reason I was afraid I would lose my best friend. Do you know what changed my mind. He looked at me and said o.k. can't blame me for trying. Now come out side and help me do the tune up on my car. By doing that by letting me see that he wasn't going to start acting wierd towards me. By just continuing to be himself around me. I realized that their wasn't anything to be scared of because my best friend would be there in this relationship with me.
276774
Sounds like she is jealous of your natural beauty and your shining personality while she has to dress up like a sl*t to get anyone's attention.\n\nIgnore her... she'll get tired of it if you don't pay her anyt attention.
260456
wow how do you know she is jealous of you... you seem very conceited, i don't think i would be very nice to you either! um hello she could be going through some shit at home, just fucking chill out and stop asuming shit!
463475
Sounds like your not being a very good friend. You know boyfriends come and go but friends are here to stay. You need to pay more attention to your friends feelings. How about you make plans with her? or invite her along with you and your boyfriend? I'm positive she is jealous of all the time you spend with your bf. She probably feels neglected. If you want to keep your friend I suggest spending more time with her, and when your with her, DO NOT talk only about your boyfriend. Good Luck.
645702
Yes, she's blowing you off.  Try to make her jealous by making a new friend, and maybe she will want to spend more time with you. She doesn't sound like a very good friend.
507883
You obviously have an awesomely amazing friendship. Girls seem to be more in tune, with one another...in comparrison to guys being in tune with girls. I can see how this attraction came to be. I'm sure its been quit awkward. If the two of you don't want to loose your friendship, you should try and discuss the issue. Perhaps you could get her a card, or something light...that lets her know, that whatever happens, you will always be there for her. You could talk about your attraction to one another...and find out if it was just curiousity or if it involves more. Regardless, let her know, that you will always be her friend. No matter what. She is probably just as shocked as you. I've always believed that women could relate to women on a more "natural" level...you've both got in you you...you both owe it to yourselves to get to the bottom of this. I wish you the best. I'm sure it will be a Halloween to remember!