I know this is somehow cliched, and that there are like a 1000 questions like this one.. Anyway... he's like 20 years older than me (I'm in college), he's married but (and here's the point) he loves me back... What should I do?\n\nI'm 20 btw...\n\nThank you!
207613
He is married.  There is a good chance he won't leave his wife for you so if you get involved with him you are setting yourself up not only for heartache but also for his wife to come after you with a shotgun.  What if you got pregnant?  He wouldn't be free to marry you!  I'd steer very clear of that one, hon.  Resist temptation.  Buy a Battery Operated Boyfriend if you must or work off your frustration on another guy friend.\n\nEven if he did leave her for you, you'd always wonder if he was screwing around on you with another girl - cause he did with you!!!!\n\nYou are nothing but a conquest to him.  Young and naive.  Don't fall for it as so many have!  \n\nIt is also against school policy I am sure. He could get fired and you could get expelled.
110541
I went through the exact same thing and know exactly what you should do. Tell him that you're young and really just need to find out who you really are. That you just need time to find you, and that you love him and know that if it is meant for you'll to be together you know you'll will. If he really love you he will understand and give you time.
114669
As much as you seem to love this man I think you deserve a hell of alot better!  This man does not respect you as a wife or as a person.  He takes your feelings and stomps all over them.  He is being totally immature and sounds like a totally controlling man.  YOU deserve a man who is going to love you,respect your feelings, and wont run out like a spoiled child when u have a disagreement!  Temper Tantrums r for 3 year olds not grown men.  And the fact that he didnt even want to save the marriage and go to counseling says volumes about the kind of man he really is.  LET HIM GO!  Find a real man!  Life is way too short to be spending it in a loveless marriage.  I met my hubby in 10th grade in highschool and we have now been married 22 years!  My husband would never dream of treating me like this!  Cuz he knows Id kick his butt!  smile!  Get rid of him, let him run, let him take the cowards way out.  YOU told him u would file for divorce if he left again- and he left.  THAT alone says he doesnt care about the marriage.  I feel so badly for you, I know this has to be hurting you terribly and wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for u but unfortunately I cant.  But I do believe in you.  You r a strong woman.  YOU can do this and you will find a man who will truly love you I PROMISE!  Lose this guy and get yourself a real man!  Good luck to u
247874
This is a situation that takes lots of time and consideration. I know what you mean I'm in the same boat. I'm 23 with 2 kids and I love my husband dearly, but there is one old boyfriend who makes my heart skip a beat but I know that we weren't meant for each other or things would have happened differently. You love your husband, if you didn't you would've left him by now. The only thing that's different now is the new guy. My advice to you is not to tear up a family of 3 years just because the grass looks greener on the other side, because it never is! Women are hopeless romantics and we would do almost anything to be swept off our feet and ride off into the sunset with prince charming on his white horse. But if you were to leave this man of 3 years what would be different with the new one? Three years from now will be the same story. You have to learn how to make things in your current relationship stay fresh and vibrant. You have to keep the flame burning. When a fire starts to die you just add more wood. Not wait till it burns out and then start a new one. Trust me, if both of you work at it and you keep open and honest communication between you and your spouse you will have a relationship that is almost unheard of now a days!
355509
It sounds like your relationship is great but one thing that worried me - you said you were worried his family wouldn't like you - you should meet them first, and make sure he meets yours first.  \n\nWhen I first started reading your post I had my doubts, BUT \nI don't think the age difference matters in your case.  In some it does, but your relationship does seem more mature.  People always think I am too young also.  I'm 19 and getting married next summer too.  I love this man and he is my best friend and my life partner.  We've been together since I was in middle school and we've grown up together and are still growing together.  I think it's amazing to find a love like this when you are so young.  Don't worry about what everyone else thinks - count your blessings that you have something that some people NEVER find.  \n\nJust be sure you have the same goals, and plans for the future.  For example, in a few years you are going to want a son or daughter with him also.  I am sure you love his son like your own but the time will come when it will drive you crazy that he is not your own and you need to make sure he will be willing to have more children.
456152
I'm 20 and my fiance is 21.. weird... same ages.. we've been together for 3 years and engaged 1.. we will have been engaged for 2 and together 4 when we get married next September. I don't think age is an issue.. you have to do whats right for you when you're ready, you can't put a time frame on love  :) if you and your boyfriend want to be engaged 20 years and have a 10 year honeymoon, by all means.. do it ... do whatever makes you happy.. life is too short to worry about what other people think =)  good luck
266764
whoa.. 17 is really young! you're probably not even in college yet.. \ni would recommend waiting a little while, and if he really loves you he'll wait until you're ready..
181129
i don't think love should be ever judged by the age of the 2 persons involved in a relationship. most people think age difference is a big factor. however, the deal is if you will get along fine in the long run, if your differences compliment each other in a positive way, and if you try to overcome your differences in a positive way.\n\ni know you're thinking if there's something wrong with getting married at the age 17 or 22, and why people are kinda discouraging you from this.\n\nthe reason is that they're just concerned that you might just be too overwhelmed by the situation. and their concern is for you to try to see the other side of things, or the other possible things that you might still experience as a single person.\n\nmarrying is a big responsibility, regardless of age. some are being too reckless to marry, because there's divorce, so they just go ahead and do it, unprepared internally.\n\ni have read somewhere that there's these 2 teens married at a very young age. but they did it out of pure love. they attended college together, pursued their own degrees, sustaining their family (at the time, they decided not to bear a child, because they're supporting their education on their own). and they did that out of love.\n\nso i guess my say is, if you're really sure enough you really love your partner-in-life-to-be, go ahead and marry. but be sure to face the life of a married person. it's gonna be harder, but then, just bear in mind, that you chose to decide to marry because you love the person. and even if it's gonna be a tougher life, stick to it and do your best to make the married life work.\n\nkey to a good marriage? respect for each other and continuous acceptance and understanding for the other, bearing in mind that there's always room for improvement. =)
22573
OK, hon. First of all, you don't need to prove your love to him. No matter what anybody says. No matter who you date, they will never be good enough for mommy and daddy. (Unless they pick the person) Second, don't focus so much on love. Give it time. I don't know how old you are, and personally I don't consider it an issue. If you focus on love, you will be heartbroken if things don't work out. I'm not saying set your standards low. I am not saying don't love this person. What I am saying is spend time with him. Enjoy the relationship. Don't get married young. And for gods sake don't get married without first living with the person. People seem VERY different when you have to share space with them. Trust me about that one. Don't rush. True love doesn't need a wedding band. If you love someone, being with that person should be enough. Sex is nice, but even that isn't necessary. The company of your significant other is all that is necessary. If you two love each other than that is all that matters. Marriage and sex are over rated. (Sex is nice, but still over rated) If you love him then your parents will eventually come to the realization that he is sticking around. They will either come to accept it, or they will disown you. I know this. I have been married. I was only 19. I told my parents the day before. At first they accused me of being crazy. They made some pretty insulting comments, and I told them to go fuck themselves. They learned to accept my wife and even grew to like her. You are your own person. Heres a motto that my stepfather taught me. "If you don't fuck me, feed me, or pay my bills......Go fuck yourself!" Your family is an important part of your life, but you didn't choose them. You were born with them. You couldn't change who they were. Your boyfriend is somebody that you chose to bring into your life. Your parents should respect your decisions. And if they think you are a fool for being with him...... remind them of who taught you. What examples did you have to follow. They are the 2 biggest influences in your life. Whether you know it or not. Everything that you have witnessed from them as a child has molded you to be the person that you are today. Everything from not enough hugs to the overprotectiveness. They have made you who you are. If they are unhappy with that, then they should try to do a better job next time.
119264
Hey i'd say go for it...if you think you can trust him. I am in the same boat mines 5 years and i really love him. I think you fine with a 9 year age difference...just be careful.\nluvs bobcat chick
257408
So you are 7 years younger than your man--big deal!  As long as you are both over the legal age to marry--go for it!\nMake sure this is what you both want before taking that next step though--from experience it's a doozy!  If either of you feels like you must get married just because you have children together--DON'T GET MARRIED!!!  That will just make your relationship end badly for you, him and the children!  My parents are 9 years apart in age--married for 33 years now; my grandparents were 15 years apart and married for 17 years (my grandfather died & my grandmother never remarried).  I married a man who was only 1 year older than me--ended badly (we married because we had a child) and I remarried because I was in love with a man who is 5 years older--been together now for 13 years!
657992
You are 17, when I was 17, now 27, I was madly in love and thought I had found the man I would spend the rest of my life with.  We stayed together for three more years and he cheated on me twice and beat me up once.  I'm not saying that all guys will do that, but when you're 17 you have no idea who or what you or anyone else will turn out to be.  Don't rush into marriage.  Find out who you are and let him find out who he is and if it's meant to be, it will be.
257456
I was in love at a young age too and my guy turned out to be gay. We're still friends, but it is just an example of how much can change. I'm now married to a great man I would have never met had I stayed with a guy while I was your age. Keep you options open, but stay with him as long as you are happy. Just don't make any perm. decisions till you are older. You both still have a lot of changing to do. Tell him you love him too, but you don't want to promise a life together just yet. Not because you want to be with someone else, or someone better, but because you both could change and you don't want to make mistakes.
224463
If you just met him tonight, then I doubt that you love him.  What is the age difference and how old are you?  If you are under 25, then I do think age is important because we are not fully adults until about age 25, not 18 like most people think.  And if many of your friends are saying this guy is bad news, than I would take that into consideration and take things VERY slowly.
283037
Sounds like a real love "crush" and the only way to know if its the real thing is to get to know the guy.  You know more about his details then all of us do, so start using what you know to be around him and then strike up a polite conversation.  Smile, dress nicely, you know--flirt a little.  See how he reacts.  Sometimes these things need time and effort, so don't be hasty.  My husband took a whole year before telling me how much he liked me and now we've been happily married for 16 years.  Good luck and remember to take long, slow deep breaths whenever you feel like you're gonna pass out, OK?  :)
121992
No i think that is perfectly fine!!! Well i would think that when me and my better half got together i was 20 and he was 29, 3 years later and we have a awsome strong relationship, i was ready for something serious to plant my feet into and so was he, we had alot of things in common, i mean yes there are times when i think wow hes really been around alot more then i have and i can feel a little bit intimidated, but in the long run im thankfull he has those experiances to help guide our steps, I think he has come to believe that im never going to be perfect, even though i really try to do everything well, im not completely at his level on thinking, he has more life lessons to reflect on, but i dont think its a problem when we both discuss everything and keep the lines of communication open, just like any other relationship, my best friend is in the same boat, her husband is 10 years older then her and oddly enough shes the more responcible one, i dont see why any one would think its wrong, now if you were 25 and she was 15 there might be a huge responce to you sick mo fo lol but i dont think there is anything wrong with you liking her, ask her out, she might be into older guys, and with good reason, guys that are 20-24 are enough to make you want to puke, they only want one thing, they havnt figured out yet theres more to life then a nice set of boobs lol they dont know how to deal with money worth a crap, they only look out for themselfs, where older guys have alot more figured out, theres so many more perks to dating a older guy i could go on forever, more or less your more established at 30... id say go for it :) you have nothing to lose
579305
Swallow your pride he may be just as said but you can darn well bet one thing if you never call he will find someone else.\n\nWhen I got married at 17 I always thought I was messing out on something so I stayed gone for weeks at a time, the last time I stayed gone to long and I was ashamed of going back.\n\nThe days turned into weeks , and the weeks turned into months , and than the years turned into years.\n\nIf he loved you there's no forgetting at least try don't be like me.