I am 27--husband 33.  We are on the verge of divorce..  If I left him what are the chances that the man I like(19 years my senior) would leave his wife and that we could make it work.  major dilema--please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am not leaving my husband hoping for this, but my options are open.  i really like this man and I believe he likes me.  he also is close to the big "D".  He has 2 kids--I have none.  This man is 47 and one of the greatest guys I have ever met.  We seem so perfect together--is this wrong to think like this???
205402
HI i am new to this site and found your question. I was in the same situation. I was 27 and my "friend" was 47. I too was married. He was also the same. I got enough courage and left my husband. It was a very trying time. I knew that I didn't want to be around my husband anymore.But I was very unsure of my possiable future with my friend. Eventually after a period of 2 years he finally left his wife. You can make anything work if you want it bad enough. if you love this man, try it.. see where it leads to. I am still with my friend,hopefully maybe marriage someday. You have to be patient! and very understanding. He can only leave his situation when he is sure that he is ready.I wish you nothing but a life of happiness .. because in reality that is what everyone is seeking.And as far as someone writing in that you are sick and need help, makes me sick. To the person that wrote that must be a very cold hearted lonely person that knows nothing of love, because he is uncapable of loving anyone.Keep your head up girl.And let me know how this turns out.
479579
It can happen. I married my husband right out of high school. We were married 23 years and started having problems. We divorced...... 2 years later, and we are back together. We just don't work apart. The 2 years that we were apart was hell on both of us. We've now worked through our differences and plan on growing old together. :)
314226
IM BISEXUAL AND LOVE A MARRIED MAN. STRANGE RIGHT? I KNOW. NO SEX INVOLVED. THIS IS A STICKY SITUATION AND ONE THAT SHOULD NOT INVOLVE YOU. IM NOT SAYING THAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE WITH HIM. HE NEEDS SPACE AND HE MADE THIS PART OF THE MESS AND PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT TO SUBJECT YOU TO THE FUCKING DRAMA.MY ADVISE IS TO LEAVE AND MOVE OUT. HE NEEDS TO BE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT HE WANTS AND YOU LET HIM. IF HE LOVES YOU AND YOU LOVE HIM THINGS WILL WORK THEMSELVES OUT. IF NOT, THEN YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE ELSE. EVER HEARD "ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR"? I GUESS IT IS.YOU WALK OUT AND SAY GIVE IT A YEAR, CAUSE DIVORCE IS MESSY.AND IN THIS CASE IT DEFINITELY IS. IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE LET THEM GO. IF THEY COME BACK TO YOU THEN....THEY ARE YOURS..{SMILE I KNOW YOU ARE SAD} . BE STRONG GIRL,LOL HOPE THIS HELPS.LOL MEXXXI
609296
If he leaves you because of an age difference there is no future with him anyway. I know many couples where the woman is older and they are just fine.\n\nSimply tell him and let him decide if he's a man who can handle it or a boy who can't.
64193
This is something you should speak to your husband about. My wife had a similar problem. She married me at 18 and I was her first. She expressed her desire to be with another man for the experience, and assured me that in no way was she interested in leaving me for another. Since I love her with all my heart, I wanted to do anything possible for her. Through our discussions we have decided that we will pursue that in the future if the situation arises. I am working through some issues over it, but as I said, I love her and will do anything for her. If she needs to fulfill this, then I will allow it to happen. We may bring another guy into the mix with us or it might happen with her and him alone, we haven't decided that yet, but we will discuss everything and both of us must be comfortable with the situation in order to proceed. Communication is the key. I'm quite sure that your husband has some fantasies of his own that he hasn't shared with you yet. This could possibly be an opportunity for you both to discover new things in your relationship. Have a conversation with your husband. If your husband loves you as much as I love my wife then he will at least ponder the thought. Good luck.
179023
Who are these middle aged men are they married?  Maybe they didn't marry the right one.  Me and my husband have been married 15 years(not all easy). I love him more today than I did 17 years ago when I met him and our sex is greater than ever.  If you love each other, are committed to each other and can share your thoughts and emotions GO FOR IT!!!\n\nGood Luck:-)
33125
Honey, as long as this guy is nice to you, understands about the difficulties such age differences mean, and is basically a good guy then date him, have fun, but don't let him press you to do things you don't want to. I married a man older then myself and have been very happy. It takes longer for men to mature then women so really he is basically your age right about now. So the real question is do you want to date some one who is the same age as you? lol
381259
A friend of mine married his wife after asking her for her hand three dates into their relationship.  At the time they were 19 - male and 17 female.  35 years later they are the only couple still together as everyone else has been married and either separated or divorced.  So this proves that it can happen but stats would say that overall this is too young to marry and that this age group would be more likely to end in divorce than those who waited until in their 20's.  I don't know if I can agree with these stats or not as it appears that we live in a very disposable society and men and woman of all ages are so ready to just throw in the towel as soon as things start to get difficult.
121443
girl i know exactly how you feel!!!! ive been married 10years and very lonely... dont get discouraged!!! alot of women may have alot of male companions but ask yourself ARE THEY QUALITY MALE COMPANIONS. ive thought about leaving my husband many times, not for any other reason except we have no quality time together.... i stay because i dont want to CATCH anything, if you know what i mean... you can go have fun with friends and eventually youll  find someone. dont go sleeping around either.. ok..
125174
most ppl end in divorce for one reason or another and think that after 13 yrs it isnt possible..\n\nme and hubby been together since 98 and will be married 3 yrs in august..both in our 40's..my 1st marriage and his 2nd..his 1st wife died about 22 yrs ago...\n\ni think alot of ppl are jealous of your relationship..i say the hell with them...you married the right one and also after 13 yrs know that marriage is not a game..it can take alot of work but it is possible\n\ni find myself loving my hubby more and more and its the small things that add up that make the difference and it is not about money either..we both work and have seperate bank accounts so this knocks out fighting over money..my son is grown and gone and his son and daughter are grown and gone...i pay certain things around here and he pays certain things..the rest is split up and some things are if you see it is needed you buy it..no problems there...with the common denominators not present that doesnt leave us much to argue about...lol...kids and money....when we do argue it is usually about that time of the month for me and also i am in perimenopause so when my hormones go haywire  he knows it..9 times out of 10 he will go to his garage and stay until he knows i have calmed down.\nwe talk everything out  even if it take a few days but i would not trade him in for anything\n\neven if we are fighting we still tell each other i love you before going to bed, leaving for work or wherever or just say it upon entering the room..he still holds doors open for me, lets me order 1st in restaurant and so on...he is a gentleman out in public and at home..even holds the door open at home if we are going into the house at same time..we met through newspaper personal ads and i feel very lucky to have him in my life..before getting married i told him straight up marriage is a one time deal for me..his only escape would be death...lol...i asked him if he wanted to have a pre-nup and he said no..that just told me that he trusted andloves me and he will be here till we part this life\n\nso if ppl find it hard to believe you and your hubby are still in love and happy just assume they are jealous of what you have and what they dont have..i know it can happen\nand wish you well for another 50-60 yrs or however long you 2 live to be
181326
"I don't want to divorce him over something this minor. (He would be left alone)"\n\nThis doesn't sound minor to me.  I'm 34 and going thru a divorce right now for similar reasons.  My wife and I have been married for 5 years, and I've never loved another person so strongly and intimately; but I've discovered that I'm not sexually attracted to her.  I tried to tell myself that it was a simple problem, and that it wasn't worth ending the marriage; but over time (and through therapy) I've learned that I was manipulating myself, and her, trying to keep the working parts of our marriage in tact at all cost – and damaging our relationship along the way.\n\nMy opinion: you are not responsible for his feelings, and you are not a bad person if you "leave him alone".  He's an adult, and can only benefit from facing this situation honestly.  How rewarding is this marriage going to be for him (or you) if your relationship isn't completely honest?  \n\nCHEAP ALTERNATIVE TO THERAPY\nTry 12 step meetings.  Not AA, but AlAnon, or better yet, CODA if it's available in your area (Codependents Anonymous).  You'll find yourself in a room full of people who are facing similar problems head-on, supporting one another without any bullsh*t.\n\nHope this isn't too preachy.\n\n:^|
362640
Stop whining...Is life good for you?  If yes, then let it go, it's only been 1 1/2 years.  I could see if you were past 3 or 5 years.  Give the man time.  You have obviously never been through divorce before.  He's gone through it twice!  Do you know what that does to a person?  Give it a rest for a little while and if it's meant to be it will be.
244405
I am a doctor and while having wild trouble with my wife, I decided to never be with here again.  I have 2 kids. A few months later, 4 to be exact, I started living with one of my patients, who is 40, and had a wild drive for me since 2 years ago. While being my patient nothing happened, but we started talking after I left my wife, never to return I thought. I lived with this woman for over a year, and that was the happiest time of my life. Nevertheless, my kids were having very serious trouble, and even though I did not wish to see my wife again, I decided to return to my kids and get them out of trouble. I will never stop loving my patient, she was the sweetest girl I've never known, but I cannot live happily with her while my kids are going down hill. I may be damned, but I need my kids to be OK for me to be happy, and they demand my presence. I could never feel happy while being with the woman I love while my kids are going through trouble. You being a virgin is not an issue to me, it should not be an issue to you, it should not be an issue for anybody loving you. What worries me is to find you left aside because this guy is married. I am not saying it is right or wrong, I am saying I doubt he will feel absolutely and sincerely happy with you while thinking about his kids. Been there, done that, don't go there, yo don't want to go there. You'll be happy for a while, and then you will know hell. Excuse my honesty, but I do not wish any human being to go through my experience. Hence I have the need to speak about it. And only anonimously. Take my word: you don't want this.\nPD: I am aged 46.
78593
I have much REspect for you.Please be STRONG for your children!I am a married woman.I'm 34(he's 35)and I have been with my spouse since high school(15yrs old)!Lately,I have been thinking Alot about divorce!We have had our share of problems in this marriage!(we've cheated,seperated,etc!)Please don't fill like a Failure!You are a mother!Although you may not be a wife,anymore.A mother is the most IMportant thing you could ever do in your life!And you should REspect yourself for that!I have two beautiful daughters as well(ages 12&8).And,they do not want me to seperate from their father.However,I am not happy.I am miserable.It really seems as if we have grown apart throughout the years!Although he will NOT admit it.And he will not leave!Because,he would have to go and live with his mother.He was laid off,collected UNemployment for 6 mths.Now,He has ZERO income.But,it's not even about the money.I have a decent Income.But my money goes I pay all of the bills,etc,etc!With no help from him.He ignores me alot lately.He yells at me if I ask him when he's gonna start to look for employment.We do not sleep together,anymore.(Rarely)!But yet,I won't get rid of him because I am AFRAID!I am afraid of being alone!I am afraid of being a single mom!I do NOT have much support!No family or friends that wanna hear about it!My only family is my mother and she flips out when I mention his name!Because she despises him.And thinks he is an UNfit father and husband,she has even tried to fiX me up with others.Don't get me wrong,He has worked in the past.But there aren't alot of great jobs here in our area.But I thought since he isn't working he would help me around the house more!He does a lil bit but NOT much!He just sleeps constantly,OR plays that damn XboX,or watches Tv 24-7!And it is starting to drive me crazy!We could be tottaly broke need gas,need bread and milk,everything.And he would sit all day and play xbox/or watch tv and act like everythings all good??Please is anyone else out there eXperiencing this with their man/hubby?I would love to hear from you!I would go craZy without this site!lol.I am so ready to call it quits!But,I am just so afraid of being alone.But,It would be so GREAT to find a man who loves me like I love him!One who works,likes the outdoors,fishes,hunts,etc,etc!And one who is good with children!Believe me hun,they are out there!They are just hard to find!But,don't give up!Pray!I bet you time will heal the hurt you are feeling now!And,when you do meet someone else you'll be ready!And hopefully happier than you ever were with him!And I agree with the above look into some support groups they will definately help you!(maybe I should take my own advice,huh?lol)Plus,you may meet someone there you never know.Or at least make some NEW friends!Hey GOOD luck to you!And hey your not all alone dear!You do have us!lol Even though it's just a website.We are all here to help you and give you advice!Sometimes I think I would rather be ALone!Than be with someone who is abusive.And makes me feel Unloved,UNwanted and Neglected!But then again,I might freak out(seriously!)I am just so dependant on him.Even though the marriage is done.And it's stale.I continue to stay?Yes,I am in counseling.But, no that hasn't helped much either!I am on anti depressants,and a whole bunch of other meds.But,I still feel the same.Maybe I'm too afraid to be loved?I don't know what it is anymore.But think of it this way,At least you can be proud of yourself for standing on your own two feet,and raising your children!May I ask why you got divorced after so many years together?Was it your idea or his?If you don't mind sharing.I am really curious about what happened?Thanks!Take Care and good luck to you and the kids!
45042
Thank you for the additional information. I suggest you talk to him. Pray about it and listen to your heart. When you turn 35 I don't want you to be thinking about what if.
43870
I am 32, husband is 31.\n\nI don't think the age difference is that drastic, having dated a 38 yr old at 19. \n\nI think a lot of older guys like younger women.  Why??? (boy am I going to catch flack for this, ready....?)\n\nBECAUSE THEY'RE NICE.  Women your age (37) have been married & divorced, probably a couple of times by now.  They are overall jaded and in survival mode.  They have kids, probably (which is not that big of a deal but has a lot to do with their priorities in finding another partner, which is as it should be.)  I am not saying all women are like this, but I bet more than a few are, and I bet you dated them too, right?\n\nAt 22, most women are still open to being hurt, and just don't have as much baggage.  I married first at that age & had my daughter- was divorced a couple of years later and was a little bitter & wary.  2 wacko heartbreaking guys later, and I just decided to let go & see.  Enter fabulous now husband.  It's all OK. \n\nI think if you love her, she loves you, and you treat each other with respect and want the same things...\n\nGO FOR IT HONEY!  \n\nAge isn't much when it comes to love.
98108
Why is he still single (unmarried) at 43? Why do you always have to start the discussion about moving in together? Why did he make that remark?\n\nI think you are right to wonder about his commitment to the relationship. But don't overreact - take it easy. I may be wrong!