Grating the entire bottom of your foot off with a cheese grater?\n\nPeeling your arm from the elbow down with a potato peeler?
203521
Grating the bottom of your foot, because playing soccer would be impossible.  I can do with out an arm.
495746
chew tobacco\neat something nasty
638638
Feet for hands would be worse.  If your arms give out you can at least use a wheelchair.  Alot harder to go without hands.
601543
Yes,\n\nI once ate my foot. It was ok, until I couldn't lace my shoes over the bloody wound.
89664
just stick your finger in there and mush it out! better yet, grab a spoon!
346678
Just bent over with a hand please...lol...and make it a lil hard so I can feel a sting:-)
346010
Elevate your feet\nStop eating salty foods\nDrink lots of water
330656
Cross your arms like you were a mummy have someone come up behind you and wrap their arms around your crossed arms, then with a quick movement have then jerk you in a up motion!  SNAP CRACKLE POP!  instant relief!
627874
LOL!!! That is so funny, how is that hand?\nInstead of mastubate, try saying 'rub one off'
16455
Hmmm... I might stand on my head and gargle peanut butter. \n\n(Do not try this at home, kiddies...)
660131
I suffer a rare genetic mutation that renders me completely devoid of all seriousness.  it's as though my funny bone grew completely out of control and encompassed my entire skeletal structure.\n\noh, look!  a wombat! ;-Þ
643141
place a mit over your hand, cut your nails short  wear a hat
459446
a broom or broom stick!\n\n=)
202936
try the bending on one knee aproach... grab both cheeks and pucker up
167099
All my fingers and toes are waaaay down. \nGood Question.
663847
It is akin to masturbating with a cheese grater.\n\nSlightly amusing, but mostly painful.
271981
Ewwwww that is just yuck!!!! I avoid stepping on them at all if possible.....I rather not hear them crunching under my feet......however, on the occassion that I have had to attack or be attacked (that's a bit extreme I know) I do it quick and get it over with.  I would  never torture any organism that way.