I`m a male and my best male friend and I had sex more then a couple times,and we both enjoided, I like him, and I want to tell him, I never had a boyfriend before, and he just discover he was bi too having sex with me, but I don´t see him sence a month ago because a college break and I don´t know if i like him too.\nAlso we are very different persons, and we live in a very conservative society, we both are afraid to be discover , but at least I like him\nso I wanna know what to do, I don´t wanna lost him as a friend, because I really don`t know how he feels about me, but i want something else at the same time. should I tell him, n how i tell him?
216129
It is so nice that you care so much about  both your friend and you.\n\nYou see whatever happened has happened. It can't be changed. So either you find ways to move on or you just slack back.\n\nYou said you are best friends. A lot of things happen between best friends you know so this should not be a hard one to tackle. It happened because you were both passionate about each other. It now appears you are both bi. No big deal.\n\nFirst you said you liked him and now you are saying you don't know if you like him. NO problem about that, you will soon know if you like him or not.\n\nHowever, since you said you have not seen him in a month and this whole thing is getting into you, well i think is about time you talk with him. It does not matter if you are different persons or not, you still have to find out where you stand. You need to talk with him and find out if you are both embarassed about the things that happened and if you still want to be best of friends. If you both still want to keep on having sexual feelings for each other, well that is when to find out, by talking to each other. Please tell him your mind, what you think, what should stop, what should go on and stuffs like that. It will work out.\n\nYou and i both know you don't want to lose a friend like him. Then i think it's about time you spoke to him.\n\nPlease don't feel shy. OK. Open up and tell him every single thing in your heart.\n\nYou will definitely find your answer. Keep it cool and GOOD LUCK.\n\nHave fun too.
224323
you should definately tell him . it happened to me too. its great if he's your friend because you already know a lot about eachother and your comfortable with eachother already so definately go for it! dont worry about it.
104694
It depends on you... what you would want to happen? \n\nThere are 2 options:\n\n1. If you really want to be have a love relationship with your best friend and he/she is still single then of course the best way is to let him/her knows about your feeling. But mind you, he/she might get scared by your sudden confession. Remember to give him/her some time to think about it and comes out with a good conclusion for both of you.\n\n2. But if he/she already have a partner in life, then I suggest that you shd keep the feelings to yourself in order not to hurt your relationship with your best friend.\n\nSo, good luck!
283212
wow i don't know what to tell you buddy...you been my lil sis and everything but well whatever you do i hope that works out but i really think that you should tell him if you are going to get serious with this "friend" of yours but if it's going to end up as just "friends with benefits" don't tell him anything....good luck
232083
Tell him nothing until he's through with his current gf.  Until then, refine your coming-out speech because 9 times out of 10 you'll say something stupid.\n\nWhen you develop feelings for a friend you're already past the bullsh*t honeymoon period; he knows you and vice-versa.  So you have to present the option of a relationship almost in a business manner.\n\nStill, it all comes down to if he has any feeling for you at all.
488974
have you really tried to sit down with him and talk about the way you feel maybe he just needs a little nudge in the right direction he may not be telling you how he feels because he does not want to be rejected and just remember if you do tell him it may or may not happen and that friendship line would be crossed so think about it really hard before you act upon anything good luck
166056
it's really hard to tell someone's sexual preference these days, as i'm sure you know. i've never had to deal with this kind of situation before so my advice might be a lil spotty. i think you should just try and be friends with him for awhile at first and see if you can tell by just talkin to him. if that doesn't work and you feel comfortable enough then you should ask him. just be patient and see what happens. it could just turn out that he'll be a really good friend but not gay. you never know
273761
If he's not your boyfriend and you wouldn't feel comfortable going any further than you already have - TELL HIM, before you agree to go out again.  If you're honest with him from the outset, then at least he'll know where he stands with you and can make his own decision whether to pursue you as a sexual partner, to just remain friends or whether to fall away from your life.  You, too, will be able to feel confident that he understands what you (don't) want from your relationship with him.  \n\nHe might not like you (if he feels you led him to think he might get something back or considers you to be selfish) but he'll respect you for being honest.  From this base you could both agree a new direction for your relationship.\n\nKeeping quiet and getting anxious about what he might want of you, should you ever meet again, IS selfish and self-destructive. Selfish because you are not allowing him to know what you are thinking and to give his contribution in how your relationship proceeds.  Self-destructive because you are getting worried (stressed?) by excluding the one person with who you could resolve that anxiety.\n\nI guess what I'm trying to say is: no matter what kind of relationship you want to have with this guy, it'll be no kind of relationship if you don't communicate.\n\nBest wishes going forward
358066
I think he told you didn't he, from what I surmise from your text is there is lots of signals in your mind that say he is in to you, which may not be the case. don't use your friend to do the work that really scares you, you bring a 3rd party in to negotiate a relationship, you are asking for trouble, it's OK to use one to break the ice so to speak, like hey my friend likes you kinda thing. but for him to tell his feelings to your friend, not a good idea.
530102
If I were you, I'd be frightened that if the sexual relationship turns out to be disappointing, or good but temporary, then I will have lost the friendship. It really is hard to return to a platonic relationship of such intensity after letting sex in the door. But that doesn't mean it is impossible.\nEven if you two discuss this, things might change later, so it isn't a thing you can promise each other for the future (like "Yeah, we agree to test a sexual relationship but if it doesn't work out, we promise to stay best friends.")\nSometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.\nThe best relationships are often those where your lover is also your best friend. Who knows, maybe you two are meant to be together in every way?\nOnly you can decide. I have past lovers who became really good friends after our sexual relationship ended, but it needed some distance at first. I also slept with my best friend years ago, and we ended that because when he was ready for a committment, I wasn't, and vice versa. But we remained good friends (however, not BEST friends). \nYou can't say what will happen, but if both of you feel the sexual attraction strongly, then you have to try it out and face the consequences. If it is just a way to stop feeling lonely, better treat him as a teddy bear for now!
314920
Honestly, I think you should tell him how you feel. The only reason I say that is because he is the only person that will give the truth about the situation. If you ask your friends they might lead you into the wrong direction. yes, it's nerve-racking but once you find out the happier and less confused you'll be.
223810
I had the same problem a few years ago. I would try to drop subtle hints, like touching his shoulder when you talk to him. Don't be overly flirty cause he may shut you down and you might feel silly, but see if he responds to the subtle hints and if so then take it to the next level. I would recommend not ruining the friendship if you truly cherish it. But you don't want to regret never telling him how you feel, so feel him out. Drop hints, compliment him a lot, tell him he looks really hot today in a particular outfit. Whatever you would say to a guy who you liked that wasn't necessarily your friend. Good Luck!
245078
All good relationships can go bad if there is no communication.  Ask your friend what's up and why he's been acting differently.  He might have something else going on , or he might be embarrassed about telling you something most guys would never want to admit to anybody.  Tell him that his sex secrets are safe with you.  He'll know that you are a true friend.  Don't try to give him pointers on girls (unless he asks), he would probably feel worse.  Just be there for him if he needs you and don't worry about his sex life.  He'll work that out on his own.
559023
what you say is that you dont feel for him the way he feels for you and that you think it would be better if you remained friends and nothing more as your not ready for anything serious right now. he will probably be upset but its best to tell him now then later on when he can be hurt more. good luck.
634232
You probably want to stay clear of that one as you may lose a friend.. You can tell them  you are gay.. That's accepted today.. BUT if you tell him you are gay and you are in love with him,  you risk losing him as a friend.  Start out with baby steps and then if he is cool and opens up to you too and tells you he is gay, maybe you want to begin with trust, going out with him, working out with him etcc... He will get the message and you will see from his demeanor whether you have a chance or are even his type.. To recap, you can come out to him.. If he comes out to you, then you need to be passive and let him figure out that maybe you are the guy for him.. BUT don't comeout and tell him you love him.. Disaster waiting to happen..
611441
So you know each other for 2 years..I think it a quite a bit of time in which you might have known each other.\n\nIt is very natural that best buddies often think of next higher level.You also told that he openly confessed he likes you.Now make sure that you also have the same feeling before you go ahead because you said 'I think I like my friend'. Make sure that "I think I like my friend" becomes "I like my friend".\n\nIt is wonderful to be in relationship with someone you know for a long time.\n\nAll the best!
56131
Y'know a similar thing happened to me when I was still in high school between my best female friend and I.  One of us had feelings for the other but it wasn't reciprocated.  Years later, we're still great friends, and both of us have moved on to find our own special people.  In my experience, if you two are close enough and you don't dwell too much on it, it would be a good thing to tell him how you feel. It's nice not to have to hold anything back from them, and even if the feelings aren't reciprocated, you get a fresh start ^_^  You know your relationship best though, good luck! =D