i want to tell certain people i am gay but the last time people found out i was the last time i got kicked out of my house. i know it will happen again, so i need to know how to go about it.
217874
That really sucks that you got kicked out and I feel for you on that one.  Its a really hard thing to do but you have to be you.  True to you.  And if people cant handle that, thats their problem.  You have to bite the bullet and tell them.  Maybe these people will be different, more understanding.  \nDont just blurt it out.  I did that and it got me in a bit of trouble.  Just casually come out with it. Would you be cool if I brought a man home.  I need to tell you something, can you keep confidence?  That sort of thing.  There are various ways of going about it.  If they are stiff about the idea tell them in such a way that you want them to keep confidence.  Make them feel important about the idea.  \nI hope this helps and best of luck!
510441
When I was young I remember people referring to an unmarried man as a "confirmed bachelor" or "bachelor uncle"  When I got older I figured out that these men were in fact gay.  I am a forty year old gay male and the majority of my family know I am gay.  \n\nEvery once in awhile I will meet an older family member that will ask when I will get married, have a family etc..   Usually another older person will then explain to the other that I am a "confirmed bachelor" and that is the end of that.\n\nMy point is that homosexuality was not a open subject years ago as it is today.  Families tried to disguise the fact that a member was gay by using such terms.  With groups such as PFLAG to help families who have gay family members it is easy for a family to stick togethey instead of torn apart.
422450
I can't claim to know anything about your problem, I'm a straight female.  But it just broke my heart to read your question.  This must be so difficult for you.  I don't know what to tell you to do, maybe you should try to wait for the right person to come along before you say anything, at least then you would have some kind of support.  I can't speak for your parents, of course, but if my child came to me and told me he's gay, I would be loving and supportive, a parent always loves their children, no matter what, at least that's the way I feel about my child.  I just wanted you to know I feel for you and wish you the best! :)
476932
I never really "came out" to anyone.  Only my husband and a few select people know.  I don't want to hide who I am, but at the same time, I have a career and a family, and I don't want to ruin any of that.  Being bi sexual isn't something that employers look for on a resume.  *lol*  As for your situation, I don't know what to tell you.  Except, be honest with your mom.  Tell her your thoughts and feelings, and maybe she can give you a few pointers.  As far as your friends go, this is a time when you will discover who your true friends are, because they will be the ones to stick by you in this difficult time in your life.  I really hope that things get better for you.  Good luck and God bless!
193770
Dear Zack,\n\nIt sounds like you are old enough to speak with a person in an adult way.\n\nIf you are living with a person, it is very important to speak directly about your concerns.\n\nFor example, if he made a big mess in the kitchen you would probably say something without hesitation.\n\nYour concerns about his being gay, might actually be your imagination.  You don't really know.\n\nWhen 2 males live together, you always have to talk about the sexuality part.  It should already have happened, but now you still have to do it.\n\nSo start a conversation.\nYou could start by saying something like ... "we never did talk about it, but I just want some reassurance that you are also str8.  I have always been afraid of gay men and I want us to be friends as well as roommates".\n\nThis might not be what YOU would actually say, but it is an idea.\n\nIf your roommate will not talk about this openly, you might need to get another roommate.\n\nThis experience will be good practice toward interacting with other men later in life.
254853
You say there's nothing wrong with being gay. Tell your brother that and then tell him that you think he might be gay because of what he said to your friend. There's nothing like being up front with people for getting an honest answer. You'll just have to trust him to be honest back.\n\nFirst person I came out to was my brother. He had no idea I was gay but everybody knew he was okay with gay people so I trusted him. He didn't betray my trust and he was way cooler about the whole thing than I could have hoped. Good luck with your bro :-)
416895
There's really not much you can do, since you probably won't change your other friends' minds about this situation.  However, they might be hurting because they feel like they've been betrayed - maybe they think that this person they thought they knew isn't the person they thought he was at all.  Maybe calling him names is their way of venting this frustration.  If this is the case, maybe you could talk to them about how hard it is to admit one's sexual orientation, especially when family relationships are at stake, that there was a reason he had to keep it a secret.  Make sure you keep supporting your homosexual friend, because with all of the opposition (especially the family opposition), he really needs you right now.  If these people can't accept your decision to remain friends with this person, then they probably aren't friends worth keeping, if they were ever really friends at all.  In any case, I don't believe in homosexuality myself, but I hope that you and your friend are able to find peace in resolving this situation.
60190
Your close friends might not know that you are gay, but they might not be surprised when you come out of the closet to them.   \n\nHow do you know someone is gay?  You see them sleep with people of the same gender.  \n\nAre you in high school?  That is a hard time to be different in any way shape or form.  You should join a support group of some sort and make some gay friends, it might make things a bit easier for you.
232943
I say just tell them what you have been feeling. I hope every thing goes the way you want it to. If it doesn't there is always some one out ther who loves and respect you for who you are good luck :)
16703
Something sad happened in your past. And i am sure you got all  the pity you could take from close and not so close people. But life goes on. You have new sorrows and new happy moments. So there is really nothing weird in telling people about it. I am sure you appear fine to them, so they have no reason to feel sorry for you.
149558
I was in the exact same situation a few years ago in highschool.  So, I know what you're going through.  This is a tough situation, as coming out always is, but it usually gets better.  \n\nJust go with your feelings.  Don't force anything, let events take care of themselves naturally.  You'll know when you've met a girl you want to get serious with.  You'll know when (if ever) it's the right moment to come out to other friends and to your parents.  You'll know how far out of the closet is right for you.  \n\nFor now, I'd try networking with other people you know are gay or bisexual.  Make friends and educate yourself.  This can be a long lonely journey, so it's nice to have people you can talk to who know exactly what you're saying and have often been there themselves.  For me, there was nobody local so I met people online at gay.com   That can turn into a meat-market though, so I'm not sure I'd recommend that method, but you understand the principle I hope.  \n\nAlso, read a lot.  Read testimonies of other gays who have come out or gone through difficult times.  This will help you to see that you're not alone.   It will also educate you more and give you ideas for how to cope with your life.\n\nSee if there is a local PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays) in your area.  Go to one of their meetings if you can.  It will help you understand how to better deal with your parents if/when you decide to come out to them.  It will also be a support for you and them.\n\nI hope this helps you.  Good luck with your journey and feel free to write me if you have anymore questions or just need to talk.  I know how difficult this can be, but trust me, you'll be happier being true to yourself than trying to be someone/something you're not.\n\nFR\n\nPS -  God and religion have nothing to do with being gay.  Don't let that confuse the issue for you.  Be true to yourself, no matter what that truth is.  Figure out the theology of it after you know where you stand.
409465
Introduce him as your slave.  That should pull the wool over their eyes.\n\nSeriously, why hide who you are?  Are you ashamed of being gay?  [If you still live at home, you get a "bye" about telling your parents until you can support yourself.]\n\nGood luck!
74523
You are so right - a person's sexual orientation should not matter.\n\nAs for coming out of the closet - most of the time the gays are simply doing the same thing that straights do all the time: talking about thier family and/or loved ones. When we are talking about media stars - it seems the public has an interest in who is dating/marrying who, etc. Should they only ask those questions to straights? Should gays have to lie when asked these questions?\n\nStop and think about a typical Monday conversation - talking about what you did over the weekend and usually who you did it with. How it is somehow wrong for a gay man to say that he and his partner went out to dinner and a movie Saturday night but ok for a straight man to say he and his wife did? Do you want the gay man to lie and say he and his "roommate" went so that you will feel more comfortable?  \n\nIt's not like being gay is only about sex - like everyone else - sex is only about 10% of a person/relationship. I'd rather focus in on the other 90% of a person.  I just don't get what all the fuss is about - being gay is not contagious.
527879
If your not gay, you simply tell him. He'll be hurt, but he should know the truth.
420028
I'm not sure what the actual question is here... is it a bad thing that he might be gay? What would you do if he was straight? If you feel like you need to act, just make sure that he knows that you love and support him no matter what. If he is gay, it will be extremely difficult for him to admit it to you and your family. The next time you're talking to him you could bring up one of your gay friends in passing (or make one up if you don't have any) so that he knows that you are okay with homosexuality (assuming he is gay and assuming you're okay with homosexuality).  However, just because he doesn't share his personal life with you doesn't necessarily mean he's gay. My brother is straight but doesn't particularly like to divulge information about his personal life to any of us.
219066
just come out and tell him
510897
Cookie, I know what your talking about. And I believe that the coming out experience for some people are much different than for others.  Perhaps for some it was hard for them to be accepted at home, so they are out in public. Some actually hid for so many years that coming out is like a rebirth to them and their excited and it's like a new life for them. They can finally be free and not enslaved by being closeted any longer.  I don't think that some homosexuals really care who we think they have sex with. They know that straight people have questions and some are very helpful in answering our questions. Yes I am straight. But I have a gay son.  And I also have a straight son, that equals two great kids! What I can tell you is that it is a process that a family goes through. There are different stages that a gay person and their family goes through. And this is evident in their behavior when they become relaxed and can be themselves. I hope this helped abit. I am a PFLAG Mom. Parents Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. If you had more questions you can email PFLAG and they will be more than happy to answer your question.