My boyfriend and I met ten years ago, and shortly thereafter he had a one night stand with a girl from my school in 1997. I just found out about a week ago, and what should I do? \n\nHe admitted to it, and said that he did not know me well, and did not think that our relationship would have progressed this far. \n\nShould I forgive and move on with him in spite of the past, or forgive and leave him?
217426
Personally I think that is old history and should just stay in the past.  However the real question here is can you truly forgive him and not let this haunt you?  If you can't then this relationship will eventually crumble and you might as well get out now.
640014
It's largely up to you.  If you beleive it was a one time thing and that you can trust him now, and if you still love him then just move forward.  With time it should get easier to handle.  However if you're not sure if you can trust him or not THAT is a different story!  Trust is at the foundation of any good relationship.
538467
Forgive yourself for an error in judgment and focus on what would be in your best interest at this point.  The guy satisfied his sexual curiousity and can't let go of a minor offense (i.e., hanging up on him).  A guy like this will only hold you back.....walk away now and you'll be proud of yourself for putting your own needs first.  You will gain strength as time moves on.  It's just a matter of developing the resolve to stick to your guns; as you meet new people and start to date new guys, this memory will fade.  Trust your own instincts and move on.  Good Luck
470170
Sounds like you are having second thoughts about giving him a second chance.  Not only did he break the trust in your relationship, but he did a little shattering of your confidence too.  You can't let anyone shatter your confidence, so if this is torturing you and making you think thoughts that are killing you, then it may be something you need to let go of.  When you forgive someone that means letting go of all the hurt and moving on to the next step and it seems like something that you are not able to do.  If you love him and you think that he is heartily sorry for what he did, then let it go and move on with your relationship.  If not, then you need to let him go and do whatever he has to do and you go do what you have to do.  It sounds like you still think he is misleading the both of you and you can't live like that!  It will kill you!  Make that decision on your own, don't wait for it to backfire.  Usually your first mind is your right mind. You are more important than anything.  I was in a situation like that once and it didn't work out for the good, not saying that is the case with your situation, but you should always go with your first mind. I know it will be hard, but it will work out better in the long run.
663671
You have the answer in your headline. The fact is, you do want to try the whole relationship thing again. It would help if we knew how long the two of you have been seeing each other, then again, it almost sounds like its a very new relationship. If it is a new relationship, then get to know him without revealing too much about your past hurts. If you really like this guy, get to know him without worrying about how it might end. Go into with an open mind and see where it goes. If you do not give yourself the opportunity to get to know someone first, without judging from what's happened in your past, you'll never find out if he's the right one for you. Life's too short, you never know when the love of your life will stand before you. Build walls and he will never find his way to your heart.
599218
If you really want this relationship to work, don't do it. You'll just end up making the trust between the two of you even worse. If you forgive him, you forgive him. It sounds to me, like you need to tell him you want to see other people, because you are not sure he's the one anymore. Tell him you cant trust him, and until that trust is rebuilt, you feel you should date around. good luck.
75571
You sound like your having break-up remorse. First of all could you forgive him for what he did if he did do it? Lets just say he did, do you love him enoughf to let it go? You have to have relationships with trust, trust is the most important part in a relationship. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. Also remember that there are alot of potential people out there. Everytime I broke up with a girl I dreaded it and wanted her back, then when I took her back, I really wish I didn't because all I thought about was why I broke up with her in the first place.
134362
I am so sry, for what happened to u. Trust me the guy is so stupid, and u should be glad this happened b4 u guys did nything intimate. I noe it's hard to forget, but u should go on with life. Many times u will find urself in a drepressing position. Many times. Get over it. There are many guiys in the world. U never mentioned that this one was the perfect one so i'm guessing he wasn't. and even though u were going out it seems like u considered him as a friend. U must have been close, it hurts , i noe. U 'll find ur perfect one someday and u'll forget about this guy. Someday u'll be able to look back at this memory and laugh about it. I would suggest looking forward to that day. Enjoy urself, have fun, study, date, life is too short to have many regrets.
308471
if he did talk to another girl, then your stupid..because that only leads to the bedroom.\n\nif he got caught trying to talk to another girl, then i guess it isnt too big of an offense, but punish him and make him remember what he could loose if he does go that way....\n\nbut if you really cant forget and trust him...its over... there is no relationship without trust
226410
I'm sorry, you are in a tough situation.  Sometimes guys grow out of that cheating thing when they get older.  Some don't.  If you are happy in your present relationship, then focus on that.  If you have doubts, then maybe give your ex another chance, if you think he really loves you.  It sounds like he does, but it was hard for him to commit at such a young age.  I might give him another chance....but not at the expense of your current relationship.  Try to think about which person you feel you are better with.  Who makes you happier?  Who makes you feel good about yourself and life in general?  Who is nicer to you?  Who is the most responsible?  Think about it.  Again, sorry, relationship questions are the worst.
5660
You know what he will always be there with you no matter what if it is that good of a relationship. That shouldn't even matter because you know what that is in the past. Let him know that you have moved on and he is the only one there for you. Everypne has some ske;etons in their closet.
309052
If you have been with this girl for seven years, then i would stay with her. You haven't been with this girl for seven years and so you don't know anything about her, besides what you knew in middle school. She could be a whole new person, because seven years from middle school, past high school, is college. People change in middle school and in college. Plus you only dated her for a year, and it was MIDDLE SCHOOL!\n\nWhat you need to do is figure out why, after seven years of relationships with your girl, you are now looking for a past love. You said she was so sweet and romantic, so i'll assume, that your present girl is not. Maybe you should talk to her and tell her what it is that you want from her. Something is wrong because if not you would not be thinking about looking somewhere else. I know i am right. Do ypu want to work on saving your present relationship? I see you leaving this girl anyway, even if it's not with your x. Try to spark up something new. Talk to this woman in your life for seven years. Ask yourself what kept you with her for seven years. \n\nGo to the details on this question and type in if your relationship with the present girl(7 years) is good, youknow if it's working out. This will help you get better answers, because once you do this, other emailers will not have to speculate so much. \n\nGOOD LUCK!
195158
He made his decision long time ago. He cheated on you, let him prove that he wants to be wtih you. But what you should be asking yourself is can you get past his cheating and never bring it up can you forgive him and will you get past this and be in a healthy meaningful relationship. You owe it to yourself and to him.
629516
Ohhh, that's a tough one. Your relationship can not last if its built on a foundation of distrust. Especially since he has told you that he will not trust you. I went through a similar situation, and you both have to ask yourselves, "Can I drop the past of my partner and move on, on a positive note. If your can't answer "yes" than you need to take a step back and reevaluate your relationship and decide if its worth living a life of suspicion and distrust. Counseling will help. Good luck!!
557423
Same story, different person, different day. That's the way of the world and life. It's a learning experience. If you learned anything, you will not go back with him ever. You know his faults and what he did to you. Respect yourself and get on with life without him...........
238406
Hi Aussie gurl\n\nThe thing is this, no matter how hard you try you will never change the fact that this happened. It was two years ago, and if he has been faithful during this time then you should feel blessed.\n\nAs long as you are happy, and so is he then try to forget it.\n\nHe might have thought that the girls he was with before were the ones he was going to stay with, but over time things could have changed. People do.\n\nYou might go for the next 27 years in Bliss and then things change like they did for my parents.\n\nPeople put too much pressure on the here and now by thinking of what was and what is to come. Live for now as you are only alive for a short time and you will be dead for a lot longer.\n\nHope it helps.\n\n****response to your email******\n\nI see. That does change things a little.\n\nI would suggest that it must have been in a period where he was sewing his oats. Most guys are driven by whats in their pants when they are young. The thing you should look at is that being with YOU for 2 years he has passed that stage.\n\nTherefore he has saved the BEST for LAST!!!!!\n\nGood luck with it all.
219155
Neither of you love each other since you both cheated, whether it was for plasure or revenge it doesnt matter. This is a mentally dangerous situation as that he has become a habit. Habits are hard to break especially the ones that last for years. You have been doing this for so long that you cant remember what life was like before him. You deserve better. Unfortunately you cant listen to your heart on this one. Leave. Does it feel good knowing he might have been inside another woman hours earlier without protection then inside you? Do you always want to have that feeling? Search your soul and find your courage to whats right for your emotional and mental future.