Y am i so nervous and torturing myself at very moment? Hi friends, i'm 25 yrs old and from the time i knew about "fear" when i was just a kid, till now i'm having all kinds of fears and low self confidence and pain in my chest which causes me to loose focus and depend on others for "security". Once there was a time i was so nervous, i even flunked my exams twice.I know i prepared well, but the fear in m stoped me from everything. My life is dominated with fear and the best thing is tht, i'll be practising Law once my studies is over. WOuld i have the potential to practise well if i have this fear in me, or am i normal? My life is just fear fear fear. I breath fear and I live in it. I dont even have a bf or a lover though i'm already 25. What's wrong with me and how do i overcome this fear in me and how am i to have the faith in me that I too can be sumone. I learnt tht fear is the main poison to kill anyone from coming up. How do i evade it? Friends, please help me..
207653
Fear is an obstacle that gets poerful once it dominates the human mind.You can control fear by acting quickly before fear takes over your mind.I know that fear has taken over your mind right now and it's very difficult to overcome once it dominated you.The quickest way is self-confidence,trust in yourself and focus.You can start it right now,the best way to handle fear is through other people,I overcame fear of approaching women by approaching them.You can apply this motto to your daily life:"Chuck Norris knows no fear,Fear Know Chuck Norris"
519747
Try meditation before bed. \nI think you have unconfronted issues of anxiety - you say that you don't worry, but you had cancer, so it's pretty unnatural not to worry in such a situation. Sooner or later you'll have to face your fears, even though your attitude is very positive, please allow yourself to admitt this small weakness. You may also want to try counselling.
149365
It sounds like You would totally benefit from meditation. You are not one in body mind and spirit and these people(representations of self) are yearning to come together as one. Really. I'm just a normal mom who is finding myself after a long scilence also. The yellow represents you need to face the reason why u despise yellow and facing your fears of all kinds is the only way to overcome them. It is very hard @ first, but once done, easy to do again and again because it makes you feel so free!!! the people you see are representations of you. You need to work on bringing them together as one. The hag represents your fear of future pain, the girl represents childhood happiness.(innocence) Even if u weren't happy all the time then, and the happy lady represents you facing some kind of fear that involved yellow. close your eyes, breathe in thru nose out thru mouth fill whole chest w/ air on intake and expell& relax on exhale. think of this concern and visualize the dream, but this time you can control it. Now have them come together as one by holding hands or hugging. Now, the hag all-together if this is too much to handle. just send her on her own journey in your mind and tell yourself thats not you and will never be. it might take a while and alot of emotions will surmount, but the key to success w/ this is believeing before seeing as in all things. As soon as you get scared if u do, just relax your mind for a few seconds &  comtinue. we don't need 200,000 years of thearpy if we just believe we can do it--- we can. It really is as simple as that. All the answers to many concerns you've had will automatically come to you and it will take a little bit, but be miraculius!!! read- up on meditation and spirit healing online. This saved my life!!! Warm regards, JEN\nAlso this means you can't come together as child and adult. the glass wall is you not SUBCONCIOSLY letting your inner child be in your adult life which we all need to be happy. Good luck amd meditation is in the bible! god bless and keep us posted. FOR REAL !O>K>???THANKS!!!
282721
The only way to get rid of fear is to face it. Make up your mind to face them.BE BRAVE!!!!
262753
Trust me... it happens!\n\n I just recently turned 16 (Mar.10) and I've been going through this whole change. I feel like I'm sitting on bridge and watching the world pass me by. After all the weird years in life I finally found my Hero - who saved me. My life is numb - I'm not interested in anything anymore. I don't care what someone says. I don't hate but I don't love. The only thing that makes me cry is the fact that I don't know if I'll ever meet my Hero again. He's a Paramedic - the proudest man I've ever known. \n\nHowever if this is serious and you would like to talk but can't seem to trust anyone. I'd advise you to talk to your school counsellor. I know... I used to freak out by the name of them. But when my teacher set an appointment I was actually looking forward to it. It's amazing what a 30 minute talk can do - at the end of it I had a few problems cleared out. Well, the problems didn't clear away but they became clear of how I am supposed to handle them. \n\nHaving said that, Good Luck!
21991
Parsi, you obviously never grew up.  What kind of talk is this?\n\nJade, honey, you have every right to be nervous.  I was in your situation, oh about 24 years ago (I'm 40 and doing fine!).\n\nYou're nervous because you take responsibility for your actions.  And I hate to tell you that this is just a part of growing up, you'll always have thoughts about the future.  I still do.  Because you are nervous you are showing me that you are maturing and becoming more of an adult.\n\nMake the best preparations (plan it out) and carry out your plans.  See if you can meet with a journalist and find out what kind of preparations you can make in high school?\n\nJust remember to be sure you've given it your best effort.  That's what helps me sleep at night.  I tried my best, I know I did, I didn't give up.  I'll do something else.  I will be OK.
499220
Anxiety is fear of the unknown.  To get over the anxiety of something yet to come, I find it useful to think in terms of "facing a challenge," versus "a problem."  This simple change of terminology will start you off with the right attitude.\n\nAnother technique is to use this analogy: think of yourself as a "Special Agent" being sent abroad for the service of your country.  Of course, you're really there for your own betterment, which is noble as well (accepting this stress for your education).  But by "pretending", you can take on the attitudes and methods of a "Special Agent":  open eyes, critical mind, and a "can do" attitude.\n\nThis, by the way, should be your approach against those who are out to cheat you or harass you.  You don't hate them, you're just being more wary.  You should withhold your trust (but not your love of humanity) and secure all your important stuff.  Passport, cash, and credit cards should be hidden, and if you carry them, carry them "tight to the body" --- hide them well.\n\nIt will still be hard, leaving your home for a foreign land very different from your home.  You may cry nightly for a few weeks.  But the great thing about us humans is that we adapt very well, very quickly.  It's almost like we're bored of it.  The mind is saying, "so what else is new?"  Allow yourself the crying time -- it's natural.  But look forward to the time when it (the experience) becomes "old hat".  \n\nGood luck.
128269
One of the things that I have found to be common in so many people is fear. Fear is something that cripples people and keeps them from pursuing and reaching their dreams. This does not have to be so! I truly believe that a person does not have to have fear in their life. I can honestly say that I do not have any fear in my life. Now, I am not perfect by any means but fear is not something I have because I have dealt with it. \n\nThe main reason I do not have fear is because I have come to grips with the concepts surrounding fear. I have understood fear, primarily from two angles. The first angle is psychologically and the second angle is theologically. You see, I think that if we address the issues of life and the fears we experience from both a good understanding of psychology and theology, then I believe we can be free from fear. \n\nPsychology is the study of the mind and that is where most of our fears take place. Theology is the understanding of God and the world we live in as it relates to God and what takes place in this world. I know from personal experience, that as we settle just a few basic issues, we can be free from fear. A few weeks ago I spoke to a group on fear and here are a few of the insights I gave them on how they can get over their fears and get on with their lives. Look and see how each one of these principles fits either psychology or theology. \n\nDisciplining your thoughts. \nFear is an action of the mind. Fear is a use, or better said, misuse, of the imagination. In reality, when you fear something, you are simply choosing to imagine a future happening. You are fearful that your spouse will divorce you (future), or that the snake will bite you (future – it hasn't yet), or that you will lose your job (future – you still have it). So when we fear, we are simply letting our minds imagine a bad future. That is what fear is! Imagining a bad future. So what is the answer? \n\nWell, there are two things you can do. One would be to imagine a good future. The other would be to stop thinking about the future and just take one day at a time. If you are a fearful person, either one of these would be preferable to living in the prison you currently live in. The principle remains true in that we have to discipline our minds and choose not to think about a bad future. We can do that. We can choose our thoughts. It just takes discipline. \n\nAccepting the realities of life. \nMuch of what people fear are the realities of life. Some may think this cold, but people die, people lose jobs, people choose to do crazy things in relationships etc. There is nothing you can do about that. Period. For example, I know many fearful mothers who won't let their children play in the front yard because they are afraid the kids will get kidnapped. Now, what should they do? Do everything they can to make it safe and then let their kids play in the front yard! Some people are afraid they will go bankrupt or broke and worry endlessly about it. What should they do? Work hard, save, invest and live life. Could someone get kidnapped? Yes. Could you go bankrupt? Yes. These things happen and all you can do is work to make your life what it can be and accept that sometimes things happen, even tragic things. If they happen, you experience the pain and emotion then – there is no sense forcing yourself to experience it before it happens – IF it happens! This is a mental adjustment that we make that enables us to get over fear. \n\nGive yourself good information. \nMuch of what we fear is irrational and not based on good information. For example, someone afraid of snakes will scream when they see a gardener snake, even though the reality is that there is absolutely nothing that snake can do to them! Take the time to educate yourself about whatever it is you fear and see if that doesn't help you gain the mental edge you need. \n\nTaking control only of those things you can control. \nThere are things you can control and things
118930
you need to learn more about yourself first, before you can connect up with someone else.  if you are scared, there is a reason.  talk with someone, write your feelings out, see if you can figure out why you are scared.   you are valuable, don't allow yourself to be pressured into anything you don't wish to do.
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One of the most frightening things you may find yourself experiencing is a "Panic attack" and it is very difficult to fully explain how it feels unless you have experienced one. The very first Panic attack often seems to come completely "out of the blue" and occurs whilst you are doing something that you do every day like driving to work, shopping, walking the dog, watching TV, cooking  etc. Suddenly you are struck by a barrage of frightening and uncomfortable symptoms and you are convinced that something terrible is going to happen to you there and then. \n\nPanic attacks can start for many reasons such as stress, overworking, bereavement, family, an accident, childbirth, following surgery and so on but at the time panic strikes for the first time you think you are doing fine and there seems to be no apparent reason at all. If you have subsequent panic attacks they too may seem to be unpredictable and random. There is now emerging evidence that anxiety and panic may have a genetic link.\n\nPeople that have never had a Panic attack assume that that it is just a feeling of nervousness or anxiety, but in reality the attacks are far more frightening and overwhelming. If nervousness is a 3 on a scale of 1-10, then a full blown panic attack is 11. \n\nWhat often happens next is that you begin to associate the Panic attack with the activity or place you were at the time so you start to avoid that situation. This is where the problems begin as each time you are forced into the situation that caused the attack, you automatically assume that it will happen again and start to re-live the feelings and this leads to agoraphobia and limiting of activities and leading a normal life.\n\n\nPanic disorder can be frightening, disabling, and frustrating both to recover from and  to live with someone with it. \n\nGetting appropriate and quick medical help is not easy and the slide from anxiety to panic and then to agoraphobia can progress quickly without intervention and support.\n\nOften the sufferer will not go out as they say they 'know' they are going to faint or 'have a heart attack'. See the "Symptoms" section for explanations of these feelings and the reasons for them. Please read the "Help yourself" section for some really useful information on how to cope.\n\nAs Panic can strike very quickly and often the trigger is not apparant, there is usually little warning that it is about to happen. It is not surprising, therefore, that many sufferers avoid situations that they think or 'know' might cause the panic attacks to happen. This leads to fears of situations or places that last caused anxiety and so the sufferer avoids them at all costs! This is agoraphobia. The problem here is that it can take months, even years, to re-educate the individual that it is their thoughts and assumptions that are to blame for these attacks and not the place at all but it still takes a long time to return to such places.\n\nTalking from experience, I avoid public transport because of several incidents in taxis where I was terrified and therefore starting associating any Public Transport with 'fear' and 'panic'. The problem then 'spread' to include trains, buses and eventually I was unable to get in the car with someone else driving. This is still a problem today. I do drive myself but the problems do not stop there!\n\nI was once told that if you 'sit a Panic attack out' to see how bad it can actually get it will reach a point where it can't get any worse and you 'automatically' start to calm down. \n\nIf you suffer from severe anxiety or panic attacks, but don't know it, then you can end up going to numerous doctors/ A+E departments with a variety of symptoms and self diagnosis only to be told that there is nothing medically wrong with you and you are not given any help, information or solutions. This leads you to the conclusion that you may have som
238000
Dont be scared, it is going to be the most incredible step you have ever taken!! Once you walk in the doors you will immeditely see that there are many other people faced with the same problem as yourself!! I have been batteling it for 5 years almost as well, and I have gotten help, the feelings in your stomach and the Hi's and Lo's will never go away but you need and want for food will return!! I am alot younger then you only 19 about to be 20 and still trying to get my situation straight, if you need ANY help I would love to help in any was possible!!
275413
well, just start right now by taking a few deep breaths.   Your brain tells your body how to feel.  Your brain is comprised of thoughts.  The thoughts that we have towards everything determines how the body should react.  If you're always in a state of anxiety, your body is constantly going to be in a contracted state and an uptight state hence the tightness.  That's your body getting into defense mode.  Change your thinking by saying to yourself "I can handle what life brings me, I'm going to be just fine.  I am smart, wise and resilient and I can change my thinking into a more proactive state rather than a negative, reactive state."   What is the source of your stress?  You seem young so it may just be loneliness.  Loneliness should not create stress.  It's not as difficult to overcome as you think it is.  Change your thoughts about that.  Know that people are ALOT more willing to accept you just as you are despite the fact that you think they're not.  They are.  All people from all walks of life deal with dissapointments, trials and tribulations.  A lot of people feel lonely, you'd be amazed at how many.  Everybody feels lonely at different times.  They may feel isolated at work, at home, in their relationships, with their children, their parents, etc..   You have to know and believe that loneliness is merely a state of mind, not an actuality.  So you are not unwanted, you have no proof of that, it's your state of mind and your thinking.  You can't concentrate because you're consumed with these thoughts that are unrealistic and irrational.  You may have felt that way as a child because your parents didn't realize what you needed as a child and since we can't speak for ourselves as children, we grow up with those same irrational thoughts.  You have to mature your thinking.  Do it every day, several times a day by talking to yourself and saying that this state of mind is not a fact or an actuality, it is simply your fears that you CAN overcome.  It takes work so work hard!! :)
237397
Oh jeez, I can relate to this question.\n\nIf this happens in crowds of people, as soon as you start becoming sweaty- take a 'breather' very quickly away from others, find a place to sit down & just foucs on breathing.  Listen to your heartbeat & concentrate on calming images.  I try to think of my gardens or other people's yards that I've seen.\n\nI used to get so worked up that I would have to leave our groccery store & send my then-BF (now Hubby) back into the Store to find my basket!\n\nI have never used drugs...did my own Bio-Feedback basically by telling myself that I COULD do this and there was NOTHING to Fear.   Lots of prayer, meditation, some Homeopathic meds & Herbal Supplements and time have helped me a great deal.\n\np.s.  I'm 39 now (started when I was 19) and even though I've more or less conquered them, still have episodes where I need to sit down and just concentrate...Hope this Helps you!  GOOD LUCK!!
43927
Everyone wants to jump in on this question, don't they? over 20 responses within 25 minutes, and who knows how many more by the time I finish typing this!!! \n\nMy answer:\nHell yea you should be afraid if someone is pressuring you to do something you are unsure of. It'll probably most likely hurt in more ways than one. \n\nSounds like you are a potential rape victim, either that or a cop trying to catch perverts.
181280
If there is anyone that has ever had the kind of stage fright where you stop exhaling while you are talking and have a shaky voice, oh yeah, that's me.  \n\nI had the worst kind.  It started while I was reading a bible passage at the lecturn at my church when I was 17.  My voice was shaky, my face turned red and I just kept breathing in and not exhaling at all.  I thought I would pass out.  then in college I had to take speech class to graduate (I almost didn't take the class cause I didn't want to embarrass myself again).  Well, I took the class and ended up one of the best speakers in the class and got a 4.0.  Here is what I did:\n\n1)  when you are in front of everyone pause a few second and look at your audience and wait till you feel comfortable (if you have time for this).\n\n2)  BREATHE.  This is the ultimate best advice.  If you remember to breath in and out without stopping then your shaky voice will most likely only be recognized by you and not your audience.  Even when your body shakes.  The audience won't pick up on it.  Only you will.  Most people that have stage fright think that they see what you are feeling and noticing.  But, they really don't.\n\n3)  Remember that many of the most popular speakers in the world have had the worst stage fright.\n\n4)  Be confident and proud and that will help.\n\n5)  When you initially feel nervous and get the stage fright, just breathe, remember that they don't notice your physically nerves going, and especially remember that within the first 30 seconds to a minute the stagefright completely disappears.  You will actually feel it going away (I didn't believe it until it happened to me).  Just get through that initial fright and you will be fine.\n\nOne of the most proudest things in my life was getting over stage fright.  Well, I experience it every time I have to speak in front of people but just focus on those 3 things:  audience doesn't know your shaking, breathe, and know the stagefright will go away after 30 seconds or so.  I always focus on that and I do well.\n\nGOOD LUCK AND KNOW YOUR NOT ALONE.
636619
Give your self permission to face fear, even if it's scary.  Then forgive yourself for feeling fear and guilt if (when) it happens next time.  Old habits die hard sometimes.\n\nStart with baby steps.  Learn from mistakes.  Go back to the beginning if you need to.  You don't fail this way; you only learn.  Failure becomes a learning experience.  Success, step by step, is inevitable.   There's no rush; remember that.\n\nLove ya.\n\ndakotanroscoe
600788
well firstly and most importantly stop feeling embarassed... i am 27 and afraid of the dark since i was a little girl... so? what? since it's not something that you have since childhood probably your generalised anxiety triggered it as well as other fears and phobias too. so feeling embarassed just makes you feel more anxious and therefore intesifies your fear of dark. leave a small light on in your room (like a baby's night light) and try one step at the time. For example try not to lock your door once or twice a week. Admit to your flatmates you are afraid of dark. When you ll do that you will find out they are afraid of other things too or maybe that they even share the fear of darkness. This will allow you to be less anxious and them being more considerate. Over the years I have realised that you have to manage your fears like climbing. Rule number one: admit the mountian is high! Rule number 2: never look at the top. Always focus on the little step you take. You ll reach the top before you know it...