MY Fiance will not pressure me into sex or make the first move to have sex he always wants me to, he said he does not do it because he said it would make him feel like he is raping me or taking atvanached of me ,i told him i am going to stop making the first move but this has not happened,because if it was for me waiting on him we would never do anything.
218100
I think your fiance has a lot of issues that you guys need to work out before you get married. But hold out on him and he will initiate sex soon enough, trust me, you can hold out longer than him.
36310
In a guys point of view. Just relax, tell him No. I guy wouldn't force you to do it if you tell him NO. Don't be sad, guys are just like that, its a biological thing. Even guys in a seminary are having a hard time controlling themselves. Honestly speaking I went thru the same problem, I had a girlfriend who did not want to have sex. And that's fine with me. She said no and I respected her. But I still tried. Boys will always try, and you should only say No. If he doesn't agree then dump him, he doesn't love you or care for you if he forces you to do it with him.
674704
From what I understand from talking to my fiance, sometimes guys get so into it and so involved and excited that they can't "finish". I don't really understand it either, but believe me, we've been through it too. It's completely understandable since you waited until you were married to go for it(congrats on that by the way).I suggest just telling him to slow down and try to enjoy the moment more. Once he starts relaxing he'll come around..I promise :0)
310475
First of all, it's not true that "you can't sleep the whole night" if you are sexually active.  ROFLMAO.  Somebody is playing with your head.\n\nSecondly, you should never feel OBLIGATED to do anything you don't want to do.  How do you know how you will feel on your wedding night?  You might be so excited and happy that it doesn't matter how tired you are.  But if you find that you ARE too tired, well then of all the people in the world, your husband should understand that, and it should be able to wait until the next day.\n\nHoney, honestly, you sound like you are a virginal bundle of nerves.  Relax.  Don't stress about it.  Let your body talk to you, and do it when you're ready, but if you are scared to be intimate with this man, then perhaps he is not the right one for you.
178420
Only you know if you are really ready, and the fact that you are asking this question leads me to believe that you aren't. Sex can be wondeful, but if you have to guess if he is going to stick around, makes me think that perhaps you are not ready for the emotional consequences that could result in this encounter. If he really wants to be with you he will wait. If he doesn't then you know your answer.
591674
I'm simply in awe that you were able to wait that long before you decided to take your relationship to the bedroom...\n\nIf you are scared about the weight, woman on top and spooning are good choices.  Same with doggy style.  \n\nTalk with him and find out what he thinks.  Does he have the same concerns as you?  \n\nAlso, I see no reason to post that he is of a different race.  If it doesn't bother you any other time, why should it be a factor now?
231133
Well if he wants to have sex with you, he might get kinda fed up eventually, dont you think? Why do you want to keep him but not have sex with him. Sex is part of love. Is he a potential lover or just your sugar daddy or something?
317580
It seems like you want sex more when you can't get it.  It sounds like he is using that as an excuse.  I have never heard of a man getting bored with sex.  Talk to him and if you can live without the sex stay with him, if not kick him to the curb.
146765
Yes my dear, I know what you mean. If you're scared, don't go. \n\nDoes he know you're a virgin? You didn't say how long you two have been dating. If you've dated him a long time and he knows you are a virgin and has been respectful, never questioning you or pressuring you, then it MIGHT be okay. I still think if you are afraid or it makes you uncomfortable, then you should do what feels right to you and not go. If you feel you might be pressured to have sex and you are not ready to, then do not go. \n\nI am not a virgin any more, but know how this feels. Let me share a story with you:\nI am a single woman (previouly married many years ago). I was dating a guy for a few months and I really liked him, but had not had sex with him. We kissed on our dates, and it was very hot, but kept it at that level, just kissing, no "heavy petting". He invited me on a ski trip for a week. We had not travelled together before, or even spent a weekend together, so I was a bit hesitant. (I should have paid attention to that feeling; that was my intuition.)  I really did not think he would pressure me. He had been very well mannered. I would not have gone otherwise. I knew spending that much time together would let us really get to know each other. We got along well and it would be fun, especially because we both like to ski.\n\nOn that trip, he started by wanting me to sleep in the same bed with him. I actually didn't have much choice, the room only had one bed. I should have known right there that a real gentleman would have made sure there were 2 beds or asked me if I was okay with the sleeping arrangements. I felt a little uneasy about it, because I was not ready to be so physically close to him. But I figured it was okay, and kept my gown on. Well, it just got worse each night. By the 4th night he was pissed off that he had "paid to take [me] on this trip and [I] wasn't being accomodating". He got more and more demanding. He flat out told me he "deserved" to have sex with me! He was a real jerk about it! Rather than a really great time, it became a degrading experience for me.  Needless to say, we stopped seeing each other after that. \n\nThat was years ago but I learned a lesson. For me: I would never go on a trip with a man unless we were crazy about each other,already in a commited relationship, and had already made love before that trip. I turned down several trips, but I did not want to be in that position ever again! Yuck!I did not go on a trip with a man again until all of my criteria were met, and what a difference! It was worth the wait.\n\nI commend you for being a virgin. it's a rare thing these days. If you are not ready to lose your virginity, don't!\n\nJust because a man pays for a trip, no woman "owes" a man sex in exchange. I have asked several men (yes, all kinds, including wealthy, well educated, well-mannered upper class men, like the man I had gone on that ill-fated trip with) about this and unfortunately many men seem to think that accepting the invitation of going on a trip is some unspoken code for "there will be vacation sex." They assume "the woman knows [he] wants sex on a trip." So don't go unless you want that too.\n\nYou do what feels right for YOU, not your boyfriend. If he really loves you, he will not pressure you. He will understand. If he doesn't, then break it off. You are special and need to be with someone who truly understands and appreciates you. Good luck!
134287
Definitely say no. If he is a good guy (coming from a guy) he will respect u. If he gets angry or breaks up just remember its his problem not yours. Don't every feel guilty if u don't feel u want to have sex with someone; it's u'r body it's u'r choice. Remember always use protection.
615854
This guy sounds like a jerk and yes he will use you and then dump you. If he does not love you enough to respect your wishes you need to get rid of him. I'm very proud to see someone who waits til they are married to have sex. You Go Girl!! I know it must be hard because you love him but you will find someone who respects you and your values. Don't let this man pressure you into something you don't want to do.
667698
No.  It is actually refreshing that women are willing to initiate.\nEither he does not have the same level of sex drive as you, or he thinks your bad in bed and finds having sex with you a chore.\n\nGet creative.  Find out what the problem is.
538331
Sounds like a no. You have been having sex with him, probably living with him - he has no need to get married; you are giving him all that he wants and he is totally comfortable. Talk to him again, and get married before the baby comes!
248989
I think it's the oppisite of what you may think it is.\n\nYou said that he's grabbing your butt, I doubt that that would mean that he doesn't find you attractive. I think it's obvious that he does. \n\nI think that it's possible that he is interested in having sex with you, but doesn't want to interrupt your sleep by waking you up and then feels embarrassed because he doesn't want you to catch him doing the most personal intimate thing you can do with yourself.\n\nMy boyfriend has done this to. I asked him about it and he said that he does it because he doesn't want to disturb my sleep. He also said that sometimes he does it, because it's the only time he gets to only think of himself, but that it didn't mean he wasn't "into" me, just an opportunity to be selfish, because he usually (always) puts my needs first before his own.\n\nWe all know that men think differently than we do, and they don't always openly communicate their feelings.\n\nYou should talk to him about it, especially if this is something that really bothers you. I'm sure you will find out that there is nothing to be worried about.
449564
i would ask him what he really wants because i can already tell your not just in it for the sex. if he doesn't want to be with you i'd stop the sex because your just gonna keep getting more attatched good luck :)
495531
If you say "no" and he still has sex with you, then it is rape.  Please confide in a trusted adult to help you with this situation.
59464
i don't know exactly what casues it. it might be different for each person. but for me it was becasue i was rapped and then the first time that i had consentual sex he didn't know what he was doing and he went to fast and hurt me too much. so i think that is why now i have no sex drive. but it might in her case not be that drastic. some people jsut don't like having sex. there is no reason to be concerned. or maybe she just hasn't found what she likes yet.