Don't get me wrong I am not here to dog my husband i just need to know if I am in the wrong or not. I wanted to go to a concert with my friend who is coming to visit me but something came up with his job and i was okay with him saying we can't go. (I believe marriage is 50/50) I said okay...what is THIS weekend we go to canada which is like 3 hours away and we can all go (all 3 of us) and go to a bar and have fun...\n\nhe said no he doesnt want to go because he thinks Canada is boring (we've been once) So, i said okay what about bizmark.....and he got all mad and told me he didnt know. I asked him what was wrong and if he would tell me why he keeps telling me no. I didn't even have an attitude but when i brought it up tonight he got pissed because i explained to him that i feel like everything i want to do is shot down. He finally gave up and said FINE JUST GO I DONT CARE ANYMORE....am i wrong for going? I told him that if he tells me to go then i will.
203059
Firstly how long have you been married?\nSecondly has he acted like this before?\nIs your husband in a a lot of stress from work? Maybe he is venting on you - which is not fair on you! Does he have a problem with your friend that is coming? \nI cant seem to see any reason for this behaviour? Try dropping it for this weekend and do something else with your friend when they come. Maybe try to talk about it some other time - after a bit of time has passed - when he has calmed and you have gathered your thoughts as well. Point to note: he doesn't get violent on you does he?? Because that should not be tolerated AT ALL. Remember you are not a punch, physical or emotional. If this behaviour continues - he has no right to vent all his anger on you. That is not fair on you. \n\nIt is good that you want to work it out with your husband and I really hope that you do. Best of luck.
550715
I think that you might have pressured him a bit too much, my friends like to pressure me into going places that I didnt really want to go because my parents were against it. It was really stressful and annoying, your boyfriend is probably pretty torn right now, because if he stays he hurts you, if he goes he hurts his mother. And dont write " so  that my BF could spend thanksgiving with his mommy..awwwww..." that makes it seem as if there is something WRONG with that. You obviously dont understand a mother's feelings. Anyway, thats just my opinion. Also, you said that your father changed the vacation dates for him, well maybe he should have done that AFTER he figures out if he was going or not. And well, wether you should just let him stay or go. Just ask him what he REALLY REALLY wants to do, ask him to be totally honest with you. Also, there are plenty of times that he can meet your family, what about Christmas?( I do not know your religion, but its just an example) Hope this helps, good luck! ^_^
333033
Well. there could be such much involved here. Like how has your marriage been going? I mean somewhere down the line something had to have happen.. It just doesn't stop. If you had a little more details I could help a little more. So I will do my best. First off, do you often spend time alone? That is important in a marriage where you two have time to go out on dates. Sometimes it takes you two to get out of your settings and do something different together. On the other hand how do you honestly feel about it. Are you making any efforts to be spontaneous with him? Is he just slowing drifting away. If that is the case maybe he could be hiding something that you don't know about. One thing for sure to do is pray to God to give you the answers you seek. There are just so many varibles that can play into all this...\n\nSorry that I could not be of more help..\n\nAmen and God bless...
545592
I am sorry. I really feel bad but my advice is leave the dog there for a while and when you can find a good place you can take her with you. And about your husband he is a jerk and you shouldn't care about him. Move on in your life and I am sure there are thousands of men out there who will respect a loyal and loving women like you. Don't let anybody hurt your self esteem, not even yourself. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL WOMEN WHO DOESN'T NEED  A S*H*I*T LIKE YOUR HUSBAND TO LIVE.
377682
O.K. first of all an Hour and a half is not that far.  Second there is no man alive that would give up on his woman that easily.  Thirdly why would he tell you not to come there?  Frankly it sounds very suspicious to me.\n\nMy husband works all over the state and when he is only an hour and half away he comes home on the weekends and sometimes every night.  Please don't be fooled, call him on it and then move on.
73118
He has some serious problems with control. I would think if this is the way I wanted to live. He has no right to tell you that you can't do something. He is your husband not anything else. K
325960
I feel you. I think he could have try harder if he wanted to. I know the excuse "i forgot" or I was going to do it relax" and you didnt see shit done. If it is going to be like that I feel you should move out and take a break let him know you are not happy at all and you are under a lot of stress. What will he do without you. He needs to appreciate the things you do as a mother and wife. You need a man not another child you have to take care of. You must feel really lonely and yearning for a man.Take a break and try to relax, go out with friends and take a deep breathe.Try not to overthink yourself cause you will go crazy. I know you have bills to pay but figure out how to get out of this rotation with him cause after awhile it gets pretty tiring. I hope nothing but the best for you and take it one step at a time.
470830
Well firstly, I dont believe anyone can drag anyone away unless they want to go.  He has a mind of his own and while this woman (well shes more of a girl than a woman) may attract him, he can still make choices.  She is only 18, she has a lot of growing up to do.  She really wouldnt know a lot about love because she is just starting out on her life's journey.  \n\nIf you want my honest opinion, I cant see it lasting with this girl.  He has 4 children and they wont go away.  He has responsibilities and I think it will only be time before she will tire of it all and want to be an 18 year old, going out with boyfriends and having a good time.  \n\nI think you have every reason to be scared about being on your own.  Four children is a big responsibility and to raise them on your own is a huge task.  That doesnt mean it cant be done,  it just makes it harder.  Let me ask you this though.  If the girl tires of your husband and he decides to stay in the marriage, how would you feel?  Everytime he went out you would be wondering who he was with.  Everytime he was home with you, you would be wondering if he was with you out of responsibility or love.\n\nHow do you think it would affect your confidence? I know if it was me, I would prefer to go it alone than have a man who I couldnt trust.  It is heartbreaking to find the man you love is in love with someone else.\n\nI dont think the question is will it last between your husband and this young girl,  I think the real question you should be asking is, could you live with yourself happily, knowing he was in love with someone else.  You would never know if he was thinking about her.  He could even be imagining it is her, not you he is making love to.  You would be forever wondering.\n\nIf your marriage has any chance of making it, he needs to get rid of her totally.  But how would you really know?  He was seeing her secretly when you thought it was over with them, so seriously, you wouldnt feel too wonderful about yourself.\n\nMarriages break down all the time, it hurts like hell and you never think you will get over it.  Believe me you do.  When my marriage split I was absolutely devestated.  I never thought I could ever love any man ever again.  I was still totally in love with him when we separated and even when we divorced I was still in love with him. I had 3 young children at the time too, so it wasnt easy.\n\nTime was my only friend.  It is not a cliche.  It has been 10 years since our divorce and I no longer love him, I dont hate him either, as a matter of fact I dont feel anything for him at all.  I did, however, go through a lot of ups and downs and the only thing that really saved my sanity was myself.  It was only when I said to myself, enough is enough did things start to change.  I started to see myself as an important person.  I started to do things that made me feel competent and confident.  I got a job, I did a course...well several courses. I pampered myself, lost some weight and was really liking what was staring back at me in the mirror.  I started to hang around with positive people...people who were always ready to build me up, not bring me down.  You are in the early stages yet, but believe me...there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  You do have the strength to get through this, and for you and your kids sake, you need to take every ounze of pride you have and let your husband know you are not prepared to come second to anyone.  \n\nI really believe it will not last with this young girl,  but lets hope by then you will have found enough strength and self confidence for when he comes begging for you to take him back that you will look at him and say...."You had your chance...you made your bed, now you have to lie in it".  There is a perfect man for you out there somewhere...just waiting.  It happens.  You will not always love your husband this way.  Time will make it get better and better until one day you will wonder how you could have ever loved h
329307
This is a common problem in relationships and marriages today. Believe me when I say..."You are not alone!" It's the reason for infidelity and divorces today. But what you have to realize is that if you truly want to stay with this man, be devoted to him and have a marriage that zings. You are going to have to work on YOU first. Now I know you don't want to hear that. No one does! That's why people just throw in the towel and move on to the next failed relationship. Trust me no matter who you would be with next. There is going to be SOMETHING you aren't going to like, or you might end up with someone worse. (ex. he may drink, abuse or cheat on you). \nSo, how do you work on you? In order to rebuild that bond that you once had you are going to have to do the complete opposite of what you are doing now. Which means, getting a babysitter and going out on dates. Going away for the weekends, spending quality time together. Maybe you can't afford to do this all of the time. But spending time together does not have to cost much money. Go to your local park and take a lazy sunday afternoon stroll. One night a week make it date night. It could be anything from getting a movie and sitting on the couch together. Or going out to your favorite restuarant. Talk to your mate about your dreams, your goals, and your hopes for the future. If you are afraid of something open up to him and express that. \n In your explanation to your question never once did you dishonor him and say that he was a bad person. In fact you did quite the opposite. This tells me that you respect him still and obviously you still care about him. You are trying to seek answers on what you should do. That's a step in the right direction. \nMy last suggestion is that I would encourage you to seek professional marriage counseling in your area. There are a lot of very qualified couselors who specialize in marriage problems. Again, you are NOT alone! It seems to me that he truly wants to work on things with you. At least take this step and if it doesn't seem to help, (which I doubt you will feel that way) then you can at least say that you gave it your best shot! I hope this helps!\nI wish you the best of luck!!
534893
This is tragic.\n\nI am very sorry for what has happened.\n\nI feel frankly that you probably should go back with your momma. Your husband is being silly and throwing away a good woman. Moving your life is hard and he didn't seem to realize that not everyone can just pack up and leave. You were sick as well, so how dare he?\n\nIsn't he supposed to respect and love you? You have held your end of the bargan. He has failed with his. I would definatly move back with momma and divorce him. If he isn't willing to work it out and cheats...there really is little hope.
652041
You're joking, right? You are definitely not asking too much for your man to spend the little free time you both have without the kids together. Are you set on going out or could you perhaps "ramp" him into spending time together starting with an intimate evening at home? Next time you can remind him you two stayed in for him last time so it's his turn to accommodate your wishes.
248604
I don't think your feelings are wrong at all.  I would be a little hurt i guess if i was the one responsible for getting two people together and then not being part of the wedding party.  But think of this, when you are in someone's wedding party you are standing up for them.  You are saying (not verbally) that you agree with this union and you don't do u?  You can't tell this man that she is only after him for his money.  You have to let him make his own mistake and learn the hard way.  I know that it will be hard but they don't say love is blind for anything. Eventually, if she is really after him just for his money he will figure it out for himself. It will be a hard thing for him but maybe in the end he will be smart enough next time. Good luck!!!
419109
You are too sensitive.  Even though he was joking he still was somewhat sincere considering it is a very logical question.  Maybe you are taking his comment too seriously because deep inside yourself you know he is somewhat right and it hurts.  Either way, if you take everything he says so seriously and personally you are going to be one unhappy woman as he is not perfect and can't always be wrong about everything.  Disagreements in relationships are common, healthy and expected.  To be able to workout those disagreements together is what creates a great compatible relationship.  Try not to worry so much about such small things and be thankful for the wonderful life and family you have.  Good Luck & God Bless!
195876
Yes, it's probably true.  Stop making him feel like crap by asking him to take you out.  Find things you can enjoy that don't cost a lot or crack open your own wallet to pay for the 2 of you.  Men arent' just meal tickets.
647762
Girl you need to do whats right for you and your kids.If you feel like he's not taking you seriously then you have to figure out if its really a problem for you if so you need to let him know this is how you feel, and if he's still acting like he don't care then girl get up and do it.I know he's your husband but don't let nobody stop you from doing something you want to do.Sounds like he trying to keep you on lock..
351092
WOW sounds like a real jerk, didn't even want to pay child support. I hope you got your increase.\nAnyways that is unsafe for your young children to travel alone. I would no, tell him your feelings on this and hold to it. \nWho are these people taking them to the long trip to the airport? Can you trust them? If you don't know them, then no. What about on a plane unsupervised, heck no, they are too young.
115737
Well ive never been threw it but ill be more then happy to give you my 2 cents with out calling you a slut, i think part of it is your husbands fault for not making sure you have what you need, now i know alot of people are going to scream for me saying that but its the truth, in a marriage part of our job is doing everything possible to make sure our partner is getting everything we need from them emotionally or sexually. Thats just the way it works for a healthy marriage, The only bit of advice i could give you not being actually in that situation is to eather pick on or the other, i can see you feeling even more torn when your feelings for this other guy are fostered even more and you cant act on it, not to mention the emotional and sexual frustrations that can easily bring. I can understand why you turned to this other man for support you wernt getting at home. But i can only see you hurting yourself in the long run if you dont cut ties with one of them. That is unless you totally dont love your husband anymore and your just in it for everything youve envested on a tangable level that you dont want to lose. But honestly do you think if you bumped this relationship up with this other guy you would be able to continue this double life, i hate to label it that way but thats the only thing i can think of to call it right off the top of my head, but i think you understand where im coming from. You need to set a game plan in your head on where you want to go in life if things with this other guy keep developing, what happens if this guy says ok ill chuck my marriage will you chuck yours? what if he talks about you guys meeting and making a full flaired affair? What if your husband finds out about whats going on how will you respond? How will your husband? Im not saying i know what you should do or what you need to do, but if i were you i would get a clear picture of what i wanted from your husband or from this other guy. Do you think there would be a possiblity you would be more happy in your marriage if your husband started to work with you on your problems with the marriage? Do you think there is any hope for you marriage now? Do you think your husband is doing the same thing you are on some sort of level? IF he was how do you feel about it? I think you need to ask yourself these kinds of questions and in deep deep detail figure out what you want to do, i dont think anyone in here can really answer those kinds of questions and give you any much more of a clear picture then you seriously thinking about this i wish you all of luck and i really hope you get something figured out on this *HUGS*