My husband did not want to get married in the first place he wanted to just live together and i told him that I did not want to be in a relationship that was not going anywhere. So then 5 months later he asked me to marry him and then he did not want to pick a date and we got in a fight about that. So then he said okay pick a date and we did. And then after we got married he changed he started acting like an ass hole. And then he went to work at a night club and he is around all kinds of woman and he comes home late and a few times he has come home late the next day and he has said stupid reasons like he ran out of gas.But we only lived 10 minutes from the night club. I have asked him if he is cheating and if he has cheated but he always says no. I an wiccan and read the cards so I did a reading and it said he is cheating and has cheated in the past. But he dose not beleive in the readings so how can I find out so that he can not lie about it?
201320
First of all its NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Men might play stupid sometimes but they arent. He could have told you no and been a man ...you would have gotten over it. Of coarse he didnt cause most men have this ego thing. And no hun hes not gonna admit cheating because that lets you know hes weak....a real man will take responsibility for his decisions. You are also not goin to know if he is cheatin unless you catch him...play it right and you will see if he is....give him enough rope to hang himself   :)\n\nPlus he would not have told you no about the marriage cause he needs something stable to fall back on..He knows as long as he has his safety net he wont fall. You told him right women shouldnt waste their valuable time on a man thats not gonna commit... either take the dive or get off the board....you did right.
496467
Wow!  That's not an easy one, honey.  I don't think I could get past it either, even though nothing happenned, it would still be in the back of my head too!  I guess sometimes you have to draw a line.  For instance, when I go out with the girls for a night out w/out hubby, I enjoy talking with other men.  But, it's harmless, I do enjoy the conversation and flirtation, but I know that is healthy for any woman.  Now, here's the difference... I don't go out looking for it or take their phone numbers home with me and have private conversations.  That's clearly stepping over that line.  I love my husband and could never even picture doing anything intimate with anyone else.  I think you need to seriously consider what his intentions were.  Maybe what he was doing was harmless too, but if he is willing to give out his phone number and chat with her, that is a sign of taking the next step in my opinion.  And, the reason he immediately signs off when you catch him IM'ing her online, is a sure sign of guilt!  He knows in his mind he is doing something wrong, otherwise he wouldn't have to hide it.  Personally, I would never be able to forgive because it would haunt me, but that's me and I am a "ain't gonna take that sh!t type of person."  However, you may want to see a marriage counselor to see what the best choice is for you to move forward and past this.  I wish you all the best.  My heart goes out to you.  Good luck.  LOL.
136665
If you don't trust him, you need to ask yourself if you should be in this relationship.  My husband has lazy moments too but it would never cross my mind for a second that he'd cheat on me.
262481
My husband leaves me at home 7 days a week. He is a work alcoholic. He says he is not, but I disagree totally. The only time he will take a day off is when I finally blow up. But you can tell he wants to be at work. He LIVES for work only. He works nights which means he sleeps most the day and evening, gets up, eats and leaves for work again. It's not necessary for him to work all these hours, he chooses too. It's destroying our marriage. I tried to tell him, but he just doesn't see it. I too was brought to another city, no car, no job, no friends. And now, not even him. I give up. He just doesn't see that spending quality time together is important. I've talked until I can't talk anymore. Right now, I don't even care if I see him anymore. He has made me bitter. So, I would say, spend some quality time with the love of your life.
341730
he's acting like that because you are going to be divorced soon and I bet he is married.... just from the way he is reacting, so move on dear - and give yourself time to heal completely before trying to get into another relationship. (you have to resolve all the issues that lead to your failed marriage - if you don't you'll drag that old baggage into another relationship.) If there was anything there you two would of met in person.... you talked for a long time without meeting and that should of told you something about him. (I've only met one man online who wasn't married and he was honest with me about his personal life and that's the man I'm married to! We talked for about 2 months and then we met in person - he helped me with coming to Canada to meet him.... and we "clicked" - and got married 3 months later! We have been married for 4 yrs. as of Sept.28th).... While I was single and chatting with men online for years --- they all turned out to be married or living with someone(with whom they had kids with).
195798
Has he always been this way or has it just been recently?  Has anything happened between the two of you, as far as cheating, that would make him feel like he had to be so inquisitive?\n\nI just don't see how you can be together without trust; that is the number one thing in a relationship.  This situation will not get better if you just ignore it.  Do you really want to have to worry the rest of your life about what he is going to say when you come home an hour late or if some other male calls you, no matter who it is!  \n\nIf it were me, I would get it out in the open with him and really discuss how you are feeling.  Maybe even suggest you two going to a counselor.  You should be able to tell from his responses if he is willing to work on things and change to better your relationship.\n\nGood luck!
134936
Let's see...you married a man who had failed at 5 marriages before you, right? And I assume it was always the woman's fault that the marriage went south, right? I suggest that you have learned, hopefully, a very expensive lesson...people do not change, regardless of how much you want them to. I am sorry, but where were you when all this money was disappearing? Where were you when he was living high on your expense account. Your were "smitten??" I think the proper word for it is, "you lost your mind." NOw, pay your bills and go one with life. Not much else you can do. But I would hope that your are much wiser in the "from now on" than you have been in the "way back then."
136280
Ehh, I am going to go out on a limb here, and say that you shouldn't AUTOMATICALLY leave him, unless he is still activly particpating in his marriage, in which case you should.  I have to say that I was married, but not (we were separated), and I started a relationship with an amazing woman, but I was up front about my status.  Give him a chance to explain himself, if you don't like what he has to say then you can slap him and leave.  Don't act to hasty, get the lay of the land before you make a decision.  Good luck my dear, I hope it turns out ok.
206973
This is DEFINITELY cheating.  He is witholding true and faithful committment from you.  I would confront him, insist on counseling, and set some ground rules until he has proven that he is once again worthy of your trust.  Good Luck!!!
128512
Those of you that have said no to this, but have commented on why people cheat, and judge those that do, have really got no right to judge/comment unless they have been there and done that themselves or have been on the receiving end. As for me, yes I have cheated. Nearly 5 years into my marriage, we started having alot of problems. We weren't spending quality time together or communicating and there was no sex. When I tried talking to him on a deep and meaningful level, I got no input from him. I told him repeatedly that I was unhappy in our marriage and even to the point where I asked him if he would come to marriage counselling with me. He refused! I spent more and more time on the internet chatting to my friends until I got talking to a guy from Germany. Eventually, I was telling him about my marriage problems and how unhappy I was. From what started out as a friendship on the net and someone to talk to once or twice a week, ended up developing into something more and talking every day. It got to the stage where I hardly spent any time with my husband at all and he knew I was chatting on the internet. This guy from Germany told me he had developed feelings for me and was flying down to Melbourne to meet me. I kept it quiet from my husband and told him I was going away for a couple of weeks and that we needed the break. I picked this guy up from the airport and we drove interstate together and holidayed for two weeks. Yes, we had the most wonderful time together and when it was time for him to leave, he wanted to come back to Australia again and visit me. I felt so guiltly for cheating on my husband that when I returned home, I told my husband and also told him it was over between us and I moved out of the house. The guy from Germany and myself continued on with our relationship for about a year. The second time he came here, he spent a month with me in Melbourne where I was living at the time. Sadly though it didn't work out because long distance relationships are just too hard to maintain and there was no future for us because I found out in the end that he had no plans to marry and live in Australia. Some people think that people who cheat on their partners are scum, well most often than not, the people that are the cheaters, suffer as well. I'm not condoning cheating and I'm sorry for what I did but I not only lost my house (I left it to my husband)and security, but I nearly lost my family as well because they didn't agree with what I had done and my brother-in-law disowned me for awhile. If I could take back what I did, I would, but as the saying goes, what's done is done and my advice is to anyone that is thinking of cheating on their partners, don't! He'll end up finding out and if he doesn't, you'll have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life (if you have a conscious). For 2 to 3 years after I left my husband, I was an emotional mess. I cried constantly for the hurt that I brought upon my husband and also my family. If your marriage is in turmoil, communication is the key to a long and lasting marriage, so try and talk things through, seek a marriage counsellor if you have to and if all else fails, tell your partner you are leaving before you do something you will regret later! Life wasn't meant to be easy and you have to constantly put the time and effort in to make a relationship work! I learnt the hard way.....
259291
I am very sorry for your current situation. It has to hurt knowing that the person you love most in this world has betrayed your trust. My advice is to go to a marriage counselor. They can help you get through this difficult time, and maybe they will be able to find the underlying cause of his betrayal. After all cheating isn't the problem, it's merely a symptom that something else in the relationship is wrong. If you have been together for five years you obviously love eachother enough to try to get through this. Best of luck, you'll be in my prayers.
362057
your situation mirrors mine!  when i met my now husband i was 23 and a party girl from hell.  we dated for a while then i moved in with him.  during the whole dating episode, it occurred to me that my partying lifestyle is not one to support a strong marriage.  so after a few small fights, we broke up and i took that time to cleanup, ween myself off the party atmosphere and make the decision of a life of bliss or all the alcohol and sex i wanted and end up being miserable and addicted.  seems like an easy decision, bu it wasn't.  luckily, with the assistance of prayer, i chose to be with the man i love and have fun but doing the things we both truly love to do.  i don't regret a moment.  we love each other to death.  two nights ago we just celebrated out 1st anniversary and he left me a note on the fridge saying that he fell in love with me all over again the other night!  i can only pray that you and the girl you are going to marry are as happy as we are.  \ngood luck!
466732
I've just been through a similar situation, leave leave leave.  I found out that not only was my husband doing the on-line thing, that he cheated on me before we were even married.  You have found out that he lied to you, then you can never believe him again.  If you do stay it will be a long hard road to happiness let me tell you.  Hes playing you for a fool if you believe his pathetic lies.  My husband was chatting on-line and talking to one women on the phone (he fessed up that he's known her for 10 years for god sake, didn't think to share that little bit of information did he) in our home while I was there!!! Incredably my husband didn't even think this was an issue - its called having an emotional affair - its still an affair just not physical but its still a violation of your marriage vows and that shows he isn't committed to you what so ever
573039
Honey, it's absolutely NOT you!!!  You are YOU, not just his wife.  You are an adult and should be able to be friends with others, hobbies other than what he likes, etc.  You DON'T have to do everything together.  You are you're own person.  The fact that he doesn't trust you with  male co-workers is a classic sign that HE should NOT be trusted because his way of thinking is "Well, if I'm capable of doing it, she must be doing it too".  \n\nYou should not have to walk on eggshells in your own house.  My husband and I were having some problems and he made me feel like everything I did was wrong.  He got irritated by every move I made and everything I said and did and we were miserable.  I was so confused because it was my first (and hopefully only) marriage and I was extremely disappointed in marriage and him.  \n\nOne day I had an epiphany.  I was letting myself be changed by him.  I no longer stood up for what I thought and what I did or did not like.  I was no longer ME.  I hate to be crude, but one day I thought to myself "What the f*ck is wrong with me?  He married me.  All my thoughts, flaws, mistakes, passions, talents, everything.....and I've been hiding myself.  Well, screw that!!!" \n\nHe came home from work and I told him.  I WILL BE MYSELF AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN LEAVE BECAUSE I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOU AND BE HAPPIER.  IT'S YOUR CHOICE.\n\nTo tell the truth, our marriage has never been better and I'm crazy about him.  If he gets slightly irritated at something I do, too bad.  Everyone isn't perfect and he certainly isn't.  Suck it up, Man!!!  You are far from perfect!\n\nIf he doesn't change, get out.  Life is too short to live with someone who doesn't appreciate you for everything you are.  Be yourself.\n\nTake care,\n\nJoyce
129557
I think he's going to end up cheating on you again.  He continues to lie, and obviously still has feelings for this other woman.  Knowing that you both have been unfaithful makes me think that there are some serious problems in your relationship that you just aren't willing to address or work out.  I know that being with someone for that long can make leaving them all that much harder, but you need to step away from the relationship.  Yes you were both wrong, but that doesn't mean he can't forgive you and stop holding your actions over you head.  Have you forgiven him?  There really is no trust in your relationship anymore and I just don't see a realtionship working out in the long run if the partners can't trust each other.  Hope this helps, good luck!
320908
Get over him. He obviously has no respect for women or himself. He strung you along while he was out looking for something more convenient. Now he's with a married woman, he does not want a commitment.
390664
You just anwser your own q.!Why stay married,apparently you don,t do it for him and he needs other woman to sadisfy him!He,s a Pig and _sswhole,I think you should leave he,s sorry -SS NOW!your better than that piece of -hit!Hollywood