My best friend (male) is in a lot of pain...help!!
210506
There is a procedure that they can try not painful and it disintegrates the stones your psitting in a tub and they use like micro-waves to zap them, no harm to you and it does work.
67545
Have your best friend talk to her friends parents. They can be the most helpful, the best thing to do is to have an intervention have everyone say how what she is doing is affecting them and hurting herself, then if all works out well she will want to get treatment if not the parents can get her help against her will. But she needs to get help, it is a dangerous disease to have. Her body will start to shut down slowly and she will end up very sick or dead.
270602
My son, who is age 16, didn't go as far as your friend did. He just recently got out of a special hospital here that deals with this type of situation. I honestly know how you feel, but mine goes deeper because it was my son. His depression started when he lost his best friend to suicide, and I've been helping him try to cope with this, it happened in March. Then, the next thing I knew, we went for a regular checkup at the doctor's office. And then I heard him say he tried to cut his hand off when he was at his dad's house, but a neighbor stopped him. That's when the doctor put him in the hospital. Now, he is on medication to deal with his depression. We both get counseling together with a therapist and separately we see different psychiatrists to help us both cope with everything. You don't say exactly how you caused him to flip out and get depressed again. But, I have learned that I wasn't the blame for my sons actions. I felt that it was my fault, that I had said the wrong thing to make him upset. He was depressed from not only his best friend committing suicide, he was getting pressure to do things from friends his age, alot of things was building up inside his mind that he couldn't cope with the world around him. Your friend may have already had problems built up inside that whatever you said may have just triggered past emotions. Not what you had said in that moment of time. You mentioned that everyone cuts ourselves, I'm sure that you meant that when we peel potatoes or apples, that sometimes we may cut our finger by accident. We don't purposely do it. The best advice I can give you is to stand by your friend because he needs all the support you can give him. I'm sure the doctors will give him medication to help his depression. It may take time for the meds to work, but you seem to like your friend very much. Even if you can go to a support group, which several places have free support groups to help cope with your friends depression and it may help you understand that it isn't your fault. Good Luck and if you need to talk to someone, you can get to my email by clicking my name. The email address is hidden.
308192
nope - he's gotta pop down the hospital or the docs, and get it sorted there - these sorts of things probably dont heal on their own too quickly woithout medical help.
318400
You should treat your friend the exact same way you used to; not having legs does not make him any less of a man.\n\nTell your friend that you are sorry for what has happened but you will stay by his side and help him through his difficult times because, after all, what are friends for? Tell your friend he is a brave man for his services and a courageous man for trying to work through his disability.\n\nI hope you and your friend are both able to get through these hard times. I hope that he feels better soon, and tell him that, even though people may not support the war, everyone supports the troops.
235791
What a blessing you are to your friend! A lot of 16 year old girls would not even think about this.\n\nLet him know that you are there for him no matter what. If he needs a shoulder to cry on (yes, boys do cry), to talk, to sit quietly together without talking, help him take care of his younger siblings, long walks, talk on the phone ... It's going to take him a long time to come to terms with this. Just knowing that you are there for him will help.\n\nYou're a sweet young woman. Your parents should be very proud of you. I pray that you can help ease the pain he's going through. God bless you and him!
263040
The best way to go about a situation like this is, is to go to counseling.  If money is an issue, there are places out there that provide help for free.  Even if he isn't using anymore, it's best to get help because it seems like there is a trust issue with your best mate.  Hope this helps.
286994
Try here for a better understanding of what could/needs to be done physically about his problem...\nhttp://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH/WSENF000/9339/10131.html#diagnosis\nIf he has insurance, definitely start there and get him taken care of, as the problem could get worse. If he was injured at work, the workman's comp should cover. There are guidelines (national) that they HAVE to abide by. Get on the phone, hit the net, do whatever it is you have to do, and do it now before he endures any more pain, or his condition worsens. He deserves his compensation, and you might have to get a lawyer. There are many lawyers who deal only in comp. cases, and do not require payment unless there is a settlement. Take care, and care of him, and good luck!
595434
if it were meant to be you would be together. if you are both in pain why don't you get together and talk? if he cares about you why isn't he doing anything about it. sometimes guys just say these things because they don't want to hurt you. it doesn't necessarily mean that they care for you in the context you are putting it. as hard as it is the less you see of this person the easier it will become. at first the pain is so intense but in time with all hurt it fades little by little everyday.
139560
That is such a painful experience she is undergoing right now ...I believe for you to be able to help her to get through with this is to be with her most of the time if not always in order for her to feel the caring of another human being which she needs badly as of the moment. She needs you to there when she would like somebody to talk to. With regards to the legals matters the police and the authorities will do their best to solve this problem. All you gotta do just remember is to stay as her bestfriend all this time. hope this helps yah.
456869
Well, usually friendship doesn't bring more pain than love. Usually, friends know your weakness and then avoid them becuase of that, they care for you and do whatever they can to help you, they look out for you and never try to hurt you. But alas, not everyone is like that. Are you in a situation where your friendship is bringing more pain than love? If so, you aren't alone, i have the same thing going on. If you are in pain because of a friendship, i would suggest you approach your friend and let them know why you are feeling like you do. Don't get mad at them and blame them like "you are the cause for my grief" and such, approach calmy and explain why you are in pain.  For your question, the reason we are hurt by the persons we care most about it just that reason, we care more about them because we have invested so much into that relationship, so we take whatever they say or do more seriously than what a stranger may say. You tend to trust them more, so if they hurt you it hurts far more than if a stranger hurt you. I don't really know what your question is, so i can't really think about what else to say. If you want to talk or vent or whatever feel free to emial me. Whatever happens, i wish you the best of luck!\n\n-sarah
659096
Ok I'm not a professional but here goes...Tell him that you love him too, and that you dont know what you would do without him. When he hugs you, hug him tighter. Dnt talk, concentrate on listening.  Since this is a really tough time, be supportive and tell him that you will always be there for him no matter what, and he can come to you whenever, wherever.  Even though he is 11 years older than you and you might not fully understand all his situations, youll always be there to listen and try to help.  I agree with the first person that you might want to try to seek counseling, but I dont agree that you cant ask a question like this.  Sure, I dont think that everyone on here is a psychologist, but these are just suggestions-maybe from personal experience, maybe not.  Anyway, I'm sorry this is happening to you, take care, and good luck-I'm sure it will be comforting to your brother for you to be there.
96703
Oh my gosh, i totally know what you are going through!  My best friend that was adopted at birth along with his brother, his adopted parents are now divorced, is at a boys camp in Utah.  I can't say i know what both our friends are going through , but i do know what you are going through.  talk to his mom or dad or his friend or your parents they will help control you frustration.  my best friend that got shipped off to camp never listened to his parents. i talk to his adopted dad all the time, we have become good friends and are still trying to help my best friend out.  i recommend talking to other people that are close to hime because talking to him isn't working very well. REMEMBER... if anything happens to him that is bad... it isn't your fault..don't blame yourself for his mistakes...i wish you and your friend the best!  \n                                 -someone who feels you pain
44119
Condolences.\n\nJust continue doing what you're doing right now. Just be there for him. If he gets mad, try to understand him because you know what he's going through right now. And don't forget to pray for him.
513899
more then anything she needs you to be there for her.  Maybe get her a journal so she can write down her feelings, it's better for people to get them out then to keep them bottled up.  My best friend loves Torrid too and I'm just getting her a gift card for there.  But again just be there for her, let her cry, vent whatever she needs to do.
607912
I'm actually more surprised that you're taking the time to ask an informal internet forum rather than checking him into the hospital. Unfortunately, your question contradicts itself in that you say he's basically in good health, yet he has advanced prostate cancer, has had 2 strokes and 2 TIAs, with only 30% kidney function. (I would tend to think that dialysis might be in order.) I wouldn't exactly call that good health, basic or otherwise. If his prostate cancer is advanced, and he doesn't receive treatment, eg., have his prostate gland removed (this may not save his life if the cancer has spread), then he most certainly will die. In which case, he should be made to feel as comfortable as possible. He can be treated with various meds, such as morphine, for the pain if recovery is deemed unattainable, but without treatment he most definitely with feel pain and tremendous discomfort. Unless he's been diagnosed as terminal, get him into surgery ASAP. Besides, at 87, or any age for that matter, why would you want to experience any pain at all, if you could help it???
396545
As a physician, I advise letting him adjust to himself. It may sound cruel but it is his world and he must adjust. Let him fumble around (in spite of heartaches on your part) but he has a life ahead of him and you won't always be there to be his guide. He may feel frustration and anger at the bad hand that Nature dealt him but only he can put things back together for himself.