Should I be worried that my BF likes to see porn on his computer? He denies it, but I know it's true.  I know guys like porn, but i thought it was mostly single guys.  Is it a step too far to think that he's not attracted to me physically so he has to get some other form of entertainment? He sees porn on his computer, and once I saw him m* in front of the computer. yuck! And when I caught him with his pants down he quickly minimized the screen and adamantly denied he was looking at anything. Later at night he's horny and wants to have sex with me, but all I can think of is the fact he's excited because of the porn he saw not because he really wants to make love to me. It's really disgusting, and turns me off, so then I don't get so excited in bed and I guess he can tell, but even if I tell him to stop he insists on finishing his job like I'm some object of his pleasure, and doesn't even try to please me when he's done.
213962
Porn is addictive, and is very hard to break free of.  If you're worried about it now, don't let yourself be fooled by the idea that he'll stop soon.  If he's that into it, it'll take more than you fussing at him to make him stop.  The good news is that it does not necessarily mean that he does not find you attractive.  Guys have a way of separating fact from fiction in this way.  This is not a good thing, but it's probably the allure of the women in the pictures (ie, the fact that they're 'willing and ready to  go) more than the fact that they are thin or have huge, uh, body parts.  He needs an ultimatum.  Them or you.
423398
Woah this is a big one.  1st of all i'm female and don't agree with men treating women like meat. (I'm sure if a girl told her father she was a porn star he wouldn't be too proud.) Now, if this girl's bf cares about her the same way she cares about him, he would stop looking at porn out of respect for her reasons.  Maybe she needs to find someone a little more caring to her opinions.
657756
Whats wrong with a little bit of porn? You shouldn't be threatened by it at all! Its a natural thing all guys- and to be honest with you a lot of girls- do. Why not be supportive of it instead. Be more 'hey baby' instead of 'eww porno's'. He's going to masturbate, and look at porn. Its a guy thing, let him do it- maybe even get involved. You know, 'lend' a hand?!
189676
Oh my God, yes!  It is totally normal.  A guy who hasn't looked at porn in his life and not gotten turned on is a genetic freak.  \n\nMy guy is only home on weekends and I look at porn all the time and discuss it with him.  It's better to have him look at porn then to have him seek out the real thing, don't you think?
538702
For starters there is absolutly nothing wrong with you. I was where you were years ago. The last straw was when I actually caught him fast forwarding during our time. I never told him to stop watching them but if we were in bed & he wanted to watch one I would tell him to turn it down or go to the other room. As for the BJ part HAH If he wouldn't give me the special perks I wanted HE didn't get his. Eventually any man will get sick of his own hand. My husband has always had a huge sexual appetite though. I found out later that he didn't have a porn addiction, he's into voyeurism. He liked the sneak peaks also the thrill of being caught. Try to talk to him again with a genuine interest of finding out what exactly turns him on about the movies without getting defensive. You might find that it's really something quite simple and possibly even fun for you to do together. You may have to stray from your comfort zone a little but don't let it compromise your morals or it will just make you resent him and you. A few years ago he stopped watching them as much because it was the same thing in each one. Of course them we got internet which opened up a whole new field. Our computer stays in the living room so anything he does now has to be when nobody it home so that helps. We been together for 12 years now. It's been rough but we have made it this far. If you do all you can and he STILL won't give you the proper attention that you need then there's nothing left for you there.
17130
Very often looking at porn is an escape from reality. Assuming that your available its being selfish - basically saying Id rather do it myself.  \n\nNot all guys do it - it has something to do with you, because its affecting you - and you should be offended!
128503
*shakes head* Woman... I would RUN so fast and so FAR in the other direction after packing my kids up!\n\nI dealt with a man for a year - who was addicted to all kinds of porn, tried to get me into working with him for a porn site, had a foot fetish, and the last straw was him watching chicks with d**ks do each other.\n\nIf it was a simple, stupid mistake for your man, then fine - but check the history on the computer for the next 4 weeks. See what the heck else turns up. This is not something that a 'normal' person would find exciting and enticing.\n\nMind you, I'm not against gays, porn, etc... most things are good in moderation  - but I just remember how much pain I went through trying to save my relationship after all the truths came out (after 8 months of being together) and how the last 4 months together were HE**. I'd hate for anyone else to go through that...\n\nGood luck... be well.
86174
I love to watch porn with and without my husband. We both sometimes watch it alone and we both understand that it has nothing to do with the other person. So it might not be personal. You can just see stuff in porn you can't always see at homen and sometimes it's just fun to see it alone.
66660
This is one of those things that it's all in the persons point of view. He may just be viewing it as a form of pornography which wouldn't be cheating at all and may just be getting himself all warmed up for a night with you. OR he's losing interest within what he has and things need to be spiced up a bit. If he starts acting differently towards you than I would seriously consider having a sit down and talk session with him and get both of your view points out and let him know that you don't approve of him watching other girls on the computer while they pleasure themselves.
672676
They are saying you don`t matter enough to me to be kind and understanding!There is a possibility your husband is mad about something you don`t even know happened and needs to discuss it with you in a reasonable kind fashion.Also at certain ages some men louse sexual drive,he may be embarrassed and is hiding it with avoidance and anger.I would lean towards keeping a close eye on his activities and try to find out what he is so interested in other than his hot wife.There are some real weird people out there and it is amassing how well they can hide there deviant behavior.An acquaintance of mine, husband,liked little girls and left her alone one to many times and she found out.Here is a good rule for married people,if you can`t show your spouse what you are doing on your computer you most likely should`nt be doing it.Get some help ask a counselor in the mental health dept.of a clinic or hospital. Do it,DO IT NOW!
272031
Sounds like a GREAT GUY! I've never seen porn but I have seen the effects it has on marriages, families and relationships. Porn is a disease that effect the mind..maybe your husband understands that and does NOT want to become a pervert..like some have
361848
If you want to do anything to your body... let it be because YOU want it... not because you're tryin' to make someone happy...\nAs for the way he's acting... though I will admit that I look at pornography as well... I would NEVER think of tryin' to make my girlfriend like the women that are on them... if he truly loved you... it wouldn't matter what you looked like... (in my own opinion)... Though some will argue that looking at porno means you don't love someone... I myself love my fiancee very deeply... \nYou don't have to be the target of his attacks... nor do you have to subject yourself to those actions... you are beautiful as you are... and if he doesn't see that... look what HE lost...
157712
If he likes to watch porn than let him. Just because you're married to him doesn't mean that you should jump right in and change his habits. Maybe you're not doing a variety of things with him that arouses him. If you just lay there, that gets boring. Try some new things and act and dress up. Spice things up a bit! I do a variety of things and my boyfriend barely watches porn anymore, but sometimes it's fun to watch it together to make it more exciting. It depends on you and what you like too. Just ask him what he'd like and tell him what you'd like. Just trying to help. I was in the same situation. I'm into them now, and it can get addicting. Hope this helps.
474149
Why are women so arrogant as to think if they are dating someone, that she is the only woman he should ever want to see again naked?\n\nC'mon...geez...porn is harmless (unless it becomes an addiction)...guys are more visual than women and they like to look at naked women...why does this trouble you? It doesn't mean he wants to do the chick in the pic...\n\nDo you not EVER admire a nice looking man when you are in a relationship? NEVER??? If you don't, then you are a rare bird...because it's only human to admire others...\n\n...however if we (and you) admire others while we are dating, we should feel bad right? Because our partner should be all we ever think about or look at in an appreciatively admiring way....right? (wrong)\n\nWhy does this trouble you so? Why are you jealous? Perhaps you should look at why it bothers you and fix those things within  yourself...\n\nHOWEVER the fact that he lied about discarding it is an issue...what else has he lied about? I think you two have bigger issues than porn to deal with.
622592
I think he's self-focused. I wouldn't be so worried that it was porn, would you feel less abandoned if all the sites were sports?  But, the fact that you needed him, and he would rather stay away than do what needed to be done for your child shows a very self-centered, unsympathetic action. \n\nDo you have other examples?  Do you know if this is the usual response, or if this is unexpected?\n\nMy advice is to talk to him, not with accusation, but just tell him you needed him and you feel hung out to dry.  You are hurt, angry.\nStay always in your own reactions, not putting him on the defensive or assigning motive to him, ask his motive because you are hurt.\n\nGood luck
108874
All men watch porn and all men m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e and all men do both at the same time if they have the chance, and this has nothing to do with loyalty or fidelity to you. This will be true for every boyfriend you ever have.  So the question for you is, do you want to accept this fact or not.  If you are accepting of it, that's one more thing that will make you special to your boyfriend.  If you are not, and your bf feels he has to conceal this part of himself from you, then you are inviting the seeds of dishonesty into the relationship and inhibiting closeness between the two of you, if only in a small way.  That's what's at stake here.\n\nHow about watching some porn together with him?  That would certainly demonstrate acceptance on your part.  If that sounds too uncomfortable or scary, then watch some porn by yourself first.  At the very least, it will get you over the shock and embarassment stage of looking at porn.  \n\nWatching porn and maybe fantasizing about different things is not the same as doing them, and you shouldn't feel bad about having "shocking" thoughts cross your mind.
71184
Yes it happens to the best of us, if you dont like it you need to lay a clear picture to him about how much it hurts you, over and over if need be, be strict as you feel you need to be, and he will see how much it bothers you, we went threw this also, i know how much i let it mess with my head, i hope you two can work threw this *HUGS* PS if he watches it offten he might need professional help, people can get addicted to porn easier then one might think, seen it on Oprah :P