When we started our relationship, we had a lot of plans but when his family was searching for his wife - to - be, then he got scared with it and eventually become aloof to me.he told me, his mother might commit suicide if he will marry me.he is the eldest in the family and the bet of his mother. Isn't it, love is enough to fight with all barriers, or he just doesnt love that much to disobey his family.
201473
you didnt mention the culture. if there is something like hindu involved then you are fighting a losing battle, family is first and foremost, to disagree with that causes alot of friction for him and you in and out of the relationship.
146116
Their culture is strict... but if there's a will, there's a way... and if you really love each other then you'll fight for your love... Do something... don't just sit there and watch him get married... if you fail, then at least you've done your very best part... you won't have the moment in your life wherein you'll get to think about that time in which you had the chance but you didn't do anything...:)
498376
Whoa Nelly! I'm confused. So he's related to you?\nWell I heard thats a bad thing but hey if you guys love each other not like family or friend love then.... yeah . Whatever you want. But if you guys have children there could be problems there huh? And it's illigal right? Uh, be careful.
126495
Go. If you are having any doubts now they will only triple the longer this relationship goes on. I was once dating a man who was twelve years older than me, and once a man gets stuck in his ways, he seems to be good for sure. There are plenty of fish in the sea and you know what you want. Your still young enough to have your family unit! Go and and get it! Just because someone treats you good and loves you doesn't mean you should stay with them. People who love you and take care of you and can't start a new family with you are called parents.
567948
Nothing. My husband of 45 years married me against his family's wishes and to this day I am not favored. But we have lived a wonderful life because he chose me as a wife. Marriage is between two people not two families. It is nice when everyone likes each other. He gave up part of his family because he refused to give me up but to this day, he is glad he chose me and the ones that didn't like me 45 years still don't like me now. If he can survive with the disgrace so be it.
355509
It sounds like your relationship is great but one thing that worried me - you said you were worried his family wouldn't like you - you should meet them first, and make sure he meets yours first.  \n\nWhen I first started reading your post I had my doubts, BUT \nI don't think the age difference matters in your case.  In some it does, but your relationship does seem more mature.  People always think I am too young also.  I'm 19 and getting married next summer too.  I love this man and he is my best friend and my life partner.  We've been together since I was in middle school and we've grown up together and are still growing together.  I think it's amazing to find a love like this when you are so young.  Don't worry about what everyone else thinks - count your blessings that you have something that some people NEVER find.  \n\nJust be sure you have the same goals, and plans for the future.  For example, in a few years you are going to want a son or daughter with him also.  I am sure you love his son like your own but the time will come when it will drive you crazy that he is not your own and you need to make sure he will be willing to have more children.
139511
You're marrying her..not the family. Yes, families can cause problems in relationships, but if both of you sit down and talk with her family, maybe you can clear things up. Get their viewpoint on the issues that are bothering them but make sure they listen to yours as well. The family more than likely will not disown her....but it's a very good threat for someone who's hurting.
628179
Oh my...how complicated indeed. Love story like in the books, but I guess yours is reality. Stop and think for a moment here...what is your intention? The only person in this triangle relationship who really seems to be in a mess is you.\nDo you really deserve to feel this way? What did you do wrong? The answer is nothing....this whole situation is not your fault....and now you add to your misery, the need to explain your every move to someone who hasn't really done everything he could to be with you...Oh, believe me if he really wanted you ...no matter which culture...he wouldn't have just married the girl his parents wished for him to marry. Even in India nowadays ( I heard) young people go against their parents wish and marry who they want to marry. Wake up and face reality. You don't owe him anything...no justifications...nothing! You lost him when he married that woman...and he lost you....now don't lose yourself, too. Take care and start loving yourself for a change.
638827
i can tell you one thing, i have been in your shoes. when my husband and i first got together his mom and his sister hated me. and that was ok because the feeling was mutual. he basicaly looked at his mom and told her "hey this is the girl i want to be with, forever, and if you don't like it that to f** bad. " His mom wasn't very happy with this. he moved out of the house and moved in with me. She only saw him on holidays because he didn't want anything to do with her if she wasn't going to accept me. And yes i know it has to do with "taking away her baby boy" blah blah blah. His mom didn't like me until 2 yrs later when i gave birth to her granddaughter. Mind you, we were already married. So my advice to you is be kind, be nice and take it with a grain of salt. If he loves you then he will be the one to step up and say somethig to his family. He'll be a man about the situation and explain to everyone that you are the one for him and they need to accept you and respect you and the relationship that he has with you. Good Luck!
295357
I don't think so.  Maybe he is afraid you will not like his family or maybe he thinks is family is embarassing.  I don't think there is anything to worry about as long as the two of you are happy together.\n   It would be okay to ask him why though and find out the answer from him.  All we can do on here is postulate guesses when only your boyfriend knows the real answer.\nGood luck\npeace and love
236281
Maybe he's just not ready to move your relationship to that level. Living with another person, no matter how much you care about them, is a HUGE step that changes your entire life. Good luck with your mom (mum).  :)
15144
i can't tell you what he's thinking, but i'm having troubles understanding why he wouldn't call you, especially since you've had two deaths in your family.  i would expect myself to make sure to call often and try to be as comforting as possible.  maybe that isn't his view, but who knows...\nwell...you want an opinion...\n\nfirst of all, most guys will say that they love you even if they don't.  some guys will say it because they believe it, but then realise later that maybe they don't really like you in the same way that they thought.  maybe he's having second thoughts now about getting married.  and yet, maybe not.  maybe he really does love you as much as he says but is having issues in his own life that are occupying him at the moment.\n\nif he isn't even calling you in times when you might need him more, he probably will avoid you in future times when you need him.  ask him why he doesn't ever call you and find out his reasoning behind it, if there is any.  maybe he's just trying to leave to alone because he thinks you need space so you can recover from the recent happenings, but i don't know.  calling you is just a simple thing that doesn't take much effort.  how much effort is he going to put into your marriage if he's showing this much now in something like that.\n\nthat's just my opinion, though, and really i have no idea what he's thinking, so maybe it's quite inaccurate.
559133
if he told you he wasn't ready for marriage then he was very mature to inform you of such. trying to apply pressure to him to make him do something never works. i would advise you both sit down if possible and talk things out
449465
I stayed with my dad until he died.  He wanted me to be safe and to take care of me and me of him.  So it worked out fine.  I was not ready to be independent and that was best for me to do in my situation.  I know other people may have looked down on me but that is their problem.  Just because I was not married or independent did not mean that I was stupid or crazy.  They did not and do not know me to judge me.  I did what I wanted and what was best for me.  Then I realized that as my dad got older and in worse health, that he needed me because he would have been all alone and could not be alone as his illness progressed.  One day he told me that he wanted me to stay and not to marry until he died.  That did make me feel good and useful and have a little more dignity when others would say things to me.  But all in all, I would not have changed a thing.  So you do what is best for you.  Your family is the most important thing, if they are good to you, so treasure them.  You will be out and on your own one day when you marry or find a boyfriend or go to college or move for other reasons.  So, do what is best for you. I think that you are lucky.  :)
240236
I GUESS UR FAMILY IS THINKING THAT U MIGHT GO ASTRAY IN A RELATIONSHIP. IF UR MATURE ENOUGH U MIGHT UNDERSTAND IT. IF U R CONFIDENT ENOUGH GO FOR IT.
266805
he probably has some really heavy stuff on his mind right now. if you talked of getting married and starting a family, then he may just be in a place where he has to think. i would say that all you can do is honestly tell him how you feel, not angrily or accusitorily, and give him room.
210550
I am not happy with anyone other than you. I have learned this over the past couple months, and in some ways, I dont want to leave him because it will hurt, but I do want to be with my family. All 3 of us. I realized that.. you loved me thru and thru, just like you said. I am willing to make it work... I just hope you still are. I know that in relationships, there are good times, and there are bad times. We need to be able to work thru the bad times together... We need better communication.. and all in all, We need eachother.