A man finds a genie, the genie says u can have 3 wishes, but your wife will get it twice.First the man asks for a new car, so the wife gets 2 new cars. Then he wishes for a new house, so his wife gets 2 houses. Finally the man wishes to be beaten half to death, causing the wife to be beaten to death.
209568
Of course it's funny, but it's just a joke.  It's never actually going to happen.
260133
1. I would make everything right in my and my loved ones' lives.\n\n2. World Peace (too much for the asking, isn't it?)\n\n3. Spending my whole life thinking "What should be my third wish?"
512733
One is a song, and another is a Michael Jackson joke.\n\nNumber 1:\n\n(Sung to the tune of 'I Believe I Can Fly')\n\n♫ I believe I can die, ♫\n♫ I got ran over by the Ice Cream guy, ♫\n♫ All I wanted was a popsicle, ♫\n♫ Instead I ended up in a hospital . . . ♫ \n\nNumber 2:\n\nQ: What does a television and Michael Jackson have in common?\n\nA: They both can get turned on by three year olds.\n\nThat's all I got.
291205
It's interesting how Muslims deny or lack knowledge  about their own faith!!! if you trust the translations of any Quran, then you must accept for a fact that God has given permission to the husband as the last "option" to hit his wife!!! \nNow,  because I am a woman  and Muslim who like to use logic, I refused to accept that, because I know for a fact, God does not use force to get things done! In Islam Divorce is an acceptable option given by God. I found a verse in the same chapter that uses the same root word (zha-ra-ba), translated as hit, as a totally different meaning, Moving out! so the last option would be a divorce not hitting your wife!!!! there are many verses that has been mis-translated in the Quran and Muslims are stupid and ignorant to realize that! another example is chopping off the hands of a thief, taken literally and it has been practiced for years!!! Muslims are in big trouble facing their creator!
566796
GOD will forgive anyone who makes a mistake even if you kill someone. So you made a mistake by ending up with someone like that so what GOD will forgive you. I have been married 2 times myself. And only the LORD knows what kinda relationship that I was in the first time. If you wait to long and live like this you will become a cold harted person. My husband now gets upset because when we get into arguments I don't cry and they can be pretty rough sometimes. The reason why is because of my first marriage I just got to the point to where I couldn't take it anymore and I had to get out but I was getting physical abuse. It's not worth messing up your life because of a jerk. The right person will pass you by if you don't make the right move. I am so happy in this marriage and we get along so well most of the time. It has to be really bad for us to get into it. But everyone fusses and argues. Do whatever makes you happy and pray about it and GOD will lead you in the right direction. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please take this as useful information. I have been there I know. And GOD understands what you are going through as well. Good luck.
303677
Someone in my class told me this. \nI'm sorry if you support Bush but............anyways.\n\nBush was stranded on an island and a genie came to him and said,"You have two wishes. What is your first wish?" Bush said,"I wish I was back in the White House." Poof...He was in the White House. The genie said," What is your second wish?" Then Bush said," I Wish my people were happy." Poof...He was back at the island.
549679
basically the same as 'be careful what you wish for'. \n\nexample, you might wanna marry a doctor or something, cause they're rich, but the reality is, they're always working, always on call etc. you end up wishing you'd NEVER married the doctor.
52147
Give the car to the friend and ask him to take the elderly woman to the hospital. Then meet the dream lover!
256815
I've had it explained to me before like this:\n\nA man can be a father, a son, and a husband all at the same time. It's just different roles. It's the same way with God, he can play any of three different roles, but he's still only one God.\n\nWhether that's a good explanation or not, I'll leave up to you.
370989
for a man to do all that he is angry with himself. and his wife can't help him. she wasting her time. and she knows down deep inside he's living a double life. he could be on drugs or drinking a lot  or other women or all of them. for someone to do all that he making accuse to leave the house. and the controlling part he doe's that to keep her in line for she won't leave him or be with someone else.he's scarring her (his wife) and she needs to open her eyes and ears. because right now she got's them wide shut. tell her to read Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger you can find this book in most all book stores.
87116
He probably is paranoid and wants to make sure there is no gas in the car when he gets home so his wife can't run away in the middle of the night. Or maybe you don't leave enough gas in your car for him to fill the can up all the way.
407071
I must say, I'm pretty content with life. I don't really want/need anything... Could I save the wish for a bad day, maybe? haha. I don't think I'd wish for anything, honestly. Obstacles, not knowing everything, not being perfect - It just makes life all the more interesting. I'd give my wish to someone who actually needed it. :)
102343
This is funny\n\nYou know, when I read the first two you came to my mind and I am here \n>cracking u, why?  because you have been sentenced and you are very \nmuch \n>BLIND!!!!!\n> \n> \n> \n> \n> \n> \n>\n>\n>\n>WHAT IS MARRIAGE???\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>1. Marriage is not a word.\n>\n>\n>It's a sentence (a life sentence).\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an \ninstitution \n>for the blind.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's \nDegree \n>and the woman gets her masters.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>4. Marriage is a three-ring circus:\n>\n>\n>engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first \nyear of \n>marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, \nthe \n>woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak \nand the \n>NEIGHBOUR listens.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with \nfriends.You \n>order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you \nwish \n>you had ordered that instead.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found \n>himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and \nfound \n>himself divorced.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband \ngives and \n>the wife takes.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't \nknow \n>son, I'm still paying for it.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't \nknow \n>his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, \n>EVERYWHERE!\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it \nis \n>love; after marriage it is self-defense.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a \n10-year \n>married man looks happy, we wonder why.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for \nher. \n>They got married, and now he is going through HELL.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to \nlet him \n>keep her.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in \n>Europe.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They \njust \n>can't face each other, but they still  stay together.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when \nthey \n>try to decide which one.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the \n>marriage the "Y" becomes silent.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was \nAlways.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it \nonly \n>seems longer.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL \n>HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT \n>HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>\n>25. WIFE: Let's g
81068
I'm not sure, but it might be because his wife noticed the broken car door and asked him how the hell that happened.  That would be enough of a close call for the mechanic that he decided to back off from the other woman before he really did get caught.
613931
The answer to this is obvious! It was an Englishman who mistook one for his wife! Terrible situation!
394568
The better question to ask is,"How many times has life support been removed from someone without a living will or medical power of attorney?" The government only had the husband's word as to what his wife wanted, despite the fact there were serious questions as to his motivation for seeing his wife euthanized. Neither legal documents were present in the Schiavo case. If they had been none of the problems we saw would have happened.
128808
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident, it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.\n\nAfter they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man; that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."\n\nFlattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!, This must be a sign from God!"\n\nThe woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. Then she hands the bottle to the man.\n\nThe man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.\n\nThe woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.\n\nThe man asks, "Aren't you having any?"\n\nThe woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."\n\nMoral of the story:\nWomen are clever. Don't mess with them.