My wife and I have talked about having another girl join for her. I won't do any touching, I just want watch her, we both think it's hot. \n\nWe have a wonderful marriage, and I'm wondering if we should live this out, or leave it in our head?
203121
Studies routinely show that it's bad for the marriage.  Usually, the problems have to do with jealousy or one spouse wanting to do it again (more than the other does).  So... if you're not involved, there is the possibility of you feeling left out.  She may want to see more women, which could make you jealous.  You may want to experiment with other things which she says "No" to, which can cause bad feelings because you allowed her this fantasy realization.\n\nIf your relationship is strong, and she's absolutely loyal and in love with you, there should be no problem.  However, if there is any possibility it could get out of hand... you might want to rethink this before you actually do it.  Remember... 3-somes are like Pandora's Box.  Once opened, that box can't be UNopened ever again, and even if you do manage to close the box and clean up the mess, the damage will have already be done.
119733
Thats cool that you two are talking about it.\n\nFirst, before you get into picking the lucky person you will ask to share your bed you two must be positive you are ok with this.  You also may need to talk about limits.  For instance, my wife does not care what another woman does to me but I am not allowed to let my mouth go near the special area on the girl with us.\n\nThe choice between another man or woman is up to you two.  Is your husband ok with another guy?  If yes, thats great.  The next question he would have to answer is does he want to do anything with the other guy.  If it is another woman same questions go to you.  Only you two can answer these types of questions.\n\nI have been in both types of bedroom play.  With two guys is myself and my best bud and his girlfriend.  A bit of alchol helped get this going but he and I did not touch.  We tried to always keep his girlfriend in between us.  (OK, slightly homophobic but I can admit it and deal with it.) I have also been with some very adventerous women and sometimes they would play with each other and other times act like my buddy and I and attempt to keep an invisible wall between themselves.\n\nWhatever you two decide, enjoy and good luck.
26720
I honor honesty above all. It's your decision want to be involved with her modern life or not. Whatever decision you take, be responsible. I am not that modern and don't believe in pure sex without love, but I don't judge. I respect people with different life style and realize their lives could be much more interesting than mine. You sounded eager to give a modern life a try. If you are prepared, why not? Wish you all the best!
177124
Ok, I have to say that a lot of the answers that you have received so far are close, but none of them quite hit the mark or cover all the bases, so I am going to see what I can do here. \n First of all, I am fairly qualified here as my fiancé and I have done a threesome with both another woman and another guy, and our relationship has survived it unscathed. \n To answer the main question of why. . . There is no single answer that would apply to all men that have those desires. Yes, porn for a lot of us has glorified the threesome. Another common reason is that watching two women be intimate is quite erotic. Lets face it, they call you the "fairer sex" for a reason!!\n Could your BF feel pressure to please you? If so, a second person could be viewed as a helper.\n The most common reason, however, is simply the desire to have variety in ones sex life.\n Now, let's address how you should go forward. First of all, your BF shared a fantasy with you, and if you ever want him to ever do so again, you cannot react negatively to it. That does not mean that you have to do it, but you also want to avoid him feeling rejection from it.\n To help you decide if having a threesome with another woman is something you want to do, consider this:\n Are you physically attracted to women? I.E. Are you bi/bi-curious? If so, you could decide that you are will have a threesome with him with the stipulation that he and the other woman do not have sex. Set very specific boundaries, I.E. Is touching ok? Is kissing ok? Is manual stimulation ok? Etc. . . If you cannot trust him to abide by these boundaries during the heat of the moment, you do NOT want to do this!\n If you decide that you do not want to do this, explain it to him, but offer to incorporate it into your fantasy life. Say something to him like "The idea turns me on, but I would not be ok with the reality of it", and then bring it up in a sexy way during foreplay or lovemaking. Reiterate after you are done having sex that this is something that can only be a fantasy, never a reality. This is often the perfect compromise in these situations.\n In my experience, a man bringing this fantasy to his significant other is generally sign of developing trust, and not of impending doom. The act itself, however, has been the end of many strong relationships, so tread carefully!!
457432
LOL, not to laugh at you, but it sucks you can't join in. I would ask your wife, if she must explore her fantasies, could it be with someone not related to you, so you can participate, too. I mean, if you aren't bothered, then don't make a big deal about it. Just simply state that you wished you would have know, so you wouldn't have been shocked/surprised. Ask her what her thoughts and plans are, and from there, you must decide.
268330
I wouldn't mind unless she involves you in their outings. If it's just for a hour or so I suppose it's okay, but more than that I would grow suspicious why they are spending much time together than with you.  Now, if it's a mixed crowd and most have good morals and if she's not the flirty type, then it's okay.  I'll be honest, when I'm single, I get much hotter than when I'm with someone.  If you are married, the possibility for variety can come to mind and it can be dangereous if her friend decides to make a pass.  The trust between two friends can be as strong as the love you have for each other.  I believe friends works best and can grow deep.  Not too be doubtful, just keep your eye out. I know because when I get the strange feeling in my stomach when I feel threatened, that's a signed that something is not right or that I'm being disrespected.  Talk to her about it and see if you can come along. \n\nYou will be the best judge if something is going on or not.  Trust to a limit, then you question... Boundaries can be broken so make sure she doesn't break them, that's why she's married to you.  Right? Hopefully for the right reasons.  \n\nPersonally, I enjoy being with my boyfriend.  I get along better with men but there are limits to how much I let them know because it's easy to flirt with guy friends.  Guy friends can let things happen and not worry about it because they know the other person is taken... It's a risk and a thrill for the women, but it's a BIG, BIG, NO, NO.  Not while you are married and devoted to someone.  I suggest to both of you go out, change your looks, and be the couple that can be lover, friend, and wife.  Spice up your life so she doesn't run off to get that kind of "attention"?... who knows. \n\nI'm a women and I've been single.  Now that I'm dating my boyfriend, he still wants to keep the single life active with some gals in a book club he met when he was single... I spoke to him and he decided to ended... I now have to trust him and it will be up to him to do the right thing.  \n\nSummarizing, if your wife invites you because she wants to, then go... keep her in your sight.\n\nGood luck sweatheart!
112130
As much as I would love to have a 3some, it's very damaging to your relationship. So I suggest that if you really care about her, don't even bring it up.
384657
Have you watched any Porn...Lots of ideas there...\nHow about a 3some ? ( You, your b/f & you invite another girl )
431430
No insult here, but your runner up in the great sensual game of her life.  Of ALL the people she has met... YOUR SECOND.  The other woman ... SHE'S FIRST.  If the other woman didn't exist, you two would be romping around in sensual glee... but, my dear, you are Al Gore to her G.W.Bush.  Painful as it may be your 49% to her 51%.  If you can deal with that and WAIT until it MAY POSSIBLY SOME DAY GO BAD, then you are pathetic and don't have self esteem, because while she is deep down on the other girl, your going to be all alone eating bon bons and ben and jerries just waiting for your turn to taste her.  FIND SOMEONE THAT'LL MAKE YOU NUMERO UNO.  Don't settle for runner up in someone else's race. You want someone to say "You are the only person I have ever wanted to be with for my entire life."  Instead your waiting for "Now that the other girl is gone, hey lets have fun."  Grow some self worth, grow some balls, and find YOUR mate.  Go right now, find someone else.
411747
Dear Omar,\nAm sorry to hear about your wife. It must really be tuff to hold out like you have. In my opinion, I dont think she would damn you for taking on a female friend. I realize it gets lonely especially for a guy. I empathize with you.  You know, I understand you want to stay faithful and probably have thought, what if it was me. Well, my friend, you ARE being faithful, as far as I know. Only God is the judge of what you do. And God knows your heart, whether you are being malicious or not. I don't believe he wants you to be with out companionship. Now sex is another story. You will be taking on alot of guilt because you are not free of your wife in your mind or heart.And suppose you get so involved you fall in love with this person. Then what? Do you chuck your wife and go with her? It is such a fine line as to what to do in this case. I mean what do the docs say about your wife? Is she brain dead? Is she losing body mass by laying? Is she deteriating, What? I say, just be careful not to add additional problems to your life that you may not be able to handle. Choose someone that clearly understands the situation and keep it plotonic(yeah right, huh?). Its nice to know you have someone to talk to and go to dinner and have conversation with, right? To go for walks and the movies. I know what you are talking about. So really you have to make that call and when you do make sure you have a clear conscience.
247953
It's a good question Helen. My wife and I are doing more sexually than ever before! Alot of it would depend on how much BOTH of you enjoy this new act! If you both enjoy it, you may want to take it another step. If one person wasn't so happy about it, I would sit down together and talk about it. Maybe you could try it one more time or maybe that is as far as it should go and not try it again!\nWe have done quite a few things, if you want to e-mail me I may be able to give you some more help.\nEither way, good luck!
60104
Gotta be honest, I think your being played.  How do you think she would react if you asked to spend two weeks with another woman???  She's already made up her mind and is just stringing you along.
161028
I met a girl on line.  Now she's my wife and we have a son.  But before this happened I visited her in her county for a number of weeks over some months.  It was only after this time that I felt happy enough to ask her to marry me.\n\nSo I suggest if you can go visit her.  Also is this your first real love?
115039
I like it, but my wife doesn't.  It is just one of those things that some people like and some don't.  The good news is that it isn't one of those things that you should make or break your relationship over.
514250
Here is my advice\nFirst sex is at least 75% mental, Your husband is just trying to spice up your sex life. During sex he probably does like the thought of wife swapping  but before and after he would probably not want to try it. The easy way to tell this is ask the question. Does he talk about it when you are not having sex or just when the hormones are flowing during sex?  What my wife and I agreed to was this " What we say during sex is not to be taken seriously and only meant to be fantasy"  That is a perminate agreement.  So we are both fee to bring up all sorts of things during sex without having to worry  about how the other will feel about it. It make the fantasy's more real but safe.
414042
i am the side of your wife my wife and i are swingers and love it we share photos on line we also play on cam it has made our sex life better we wanted some spice in our marrried life we love eachother vary munch it is not for eveyone but sit down and talk to her if your marriged is good then it will be fun if you have some problems then you should not try it good luck          dm
166545
I would ask your husband if he has any desires to see you with another women and then you can approach it together instead of going behind his back or hurting your marriage, it certainly is better to do it together, then you can search various websites for swingers or bi females, but if you want to be greedy and keep her all to yourself then not sure what to tell you, I would approach it together.