I was "groomed" for abuse by a priest in 1972, but was able to keep him from all that he wanted to do and I am leaving a long-term marriage where my spouse was very controlling.
214309
The fact that you are now aware is a good start.Start referring to yourself as a survivor!!!!!!!!!
416874
There's some good articles on how to leave an abuser in lovefraud.com\n\nMy husband is a stalker too but I've gotten numb to his ridiculous accusations and constant threats. He took every dime of my retirement account and left me destitute in hopes I'd be too dependant on him to leave. I left 2 months ago to stay with family. \n\nKnow this- you are a target, not a victim. Abusers use your compassion, humanity, and commitment to the relationship AGAINST you! They are not human. They have no empathy. They are empty and hollow INSECURE people. They need to control you, own you, in the worst way.\n\nNever look back.
354312
Your question brought tears to my eyes.  Your life sounds like mine when I was 20.  My so called boyfriend and I are 5 years apart also and we have a child together.  Your fiance sounds just like mine years ago. The life you are living is a hard one, I can feel your pain.   I left my boyfriend several times because of his controlling crazy ways. My friends werent good enough, he didnt like me to go out, he was jealous of anything and everything.  And he accused me of sleeping with anybody and everybody (male, female, dog, cat, if I looked at it I was sleeping with it).  He couldnt hold down a job either.  He was a good father also.  Remember men like this make good fathers because they are CONTROLLING. I used to think is this all there is for me like you do but trust me its not.  You can take your child and raise it by yourself.  I raised 2 kids at your age by myself.  Trust me this man is only going to drag you down.  Here I am years 15 years later and I am STILL going back and forth with the same man.  Only difference is now he has changed he is no longer that controlling jerk he used to be.  But it took 15 years to get here. And that is only because he matured in some areas but in other areas he is still a jerk.  We dont live together so why am I holding on? I am working on myself now to figure that out.  My question to you is.  Do you want to wait 15 years like me for this man to finally treat you with the respect you deserve? I can see your like me, you need to save yourself from yourself.  I thought I was in love, funny thing is I still do, but I also know what is best for me.  Men like this never change.  Mine changed his controlling ways but only because he had no choice.  I have figured out through the years that guys like this are always going to find a way to hurt you.  The hurt never stops.  Don't say you made your bed so you should lie in it.  No one deserves the kind of treatment you receive.  I really think you will be able to make a good life for you and you child.  I did.  I am successful and have 2 great kids.  Funny thing is now "jerk" wants to settle down.  But the past is some thing you never forget.  Especially when he is still doing little stupid things that hurt me.  Like I said the hurt never stops.  I would love to give you strength and advice to help you through this because I can sense there is probally more to your story just like their is more to mine.  Dont think you are being selfish.  That was my problem years ago.  I put everyones happiness before my own.  Only sacrifice you need to make is for your child, remember that.  Your child needs to be raised in a loving argue free environment.  It is going to be hard.  Beause this guy has ahold of your mind, more than a hold on your heart.
12570
because he dont want to be a priest no more
146591
First thing get out now!!! You don't need the abuse, been there done that, I got out and so can you.\n\nFile for divorce, do not give him a reason to get back in your life.\n\nSeek couseling so you don't do it again, it becomes a habit.\n\nLive alone for a while so you learn to strictly depend on yourself for everything and learn that you don't need a male to identify with.\n\nIf you don't want to get rid of him quit complaining and live with your choice.
464099
I don't know if it's actually Canon law or not, but I do know that it's a very strong tradition at the very least. \n\nThe reason is so the former priest doesn't come in to interfere with the current priest's ministry. \n\nAt our church, the retired rector respectfully stayed away for two years so our new priest could reorder matters to his own preference. He now discreetly attends services towards the back of the church. In addition, two other retired Episcopal priests also attend services, but decline to serve on committees, lest it be interpreted as an attempt to interfere.
261817
I am thinking that he's become abusive because he really isnt back to where he was....in his eyes.  And that would be something that HE needs to deal with.  Perhaps he needs some counseling on how to do that.  If that is impossible than it may be time for you to return to MT to have some form of life for yourself. But in there, you too should have some outside help, sot that you can release any feelings of guilt. I can certainly understand your frustration.  He seems no longer the person that you orginally married. However, that's not abnormal either.  We all change, both mentally & physcially, thus the high divorce rate.  I sincerly wish you luck in finding yourself again. Please include YOURSELF in your care giving! :)
161941
I was abused everyday for 11 years out of my 12 by the same boy. (HE wasnt at my school during my tenth year... My best year) anyway He was at my bus stop and it seemed like we had lunch time together every year and he was a grade younger than me. He failed. He would toss stuff at me and my friends, make rumors and signs up about me, pin me to a wall with all his guy friends around watching, and the list is too long to say but when i went for help time after time i was told "oh just let it go" finally i bipassed the principle i was assigned and went to the whole schools Principle which turned out to be a mistake. This kid was on the football team and the Principle was the head football coach and he said to me and i quote "Your just jealose of the attention that football players get, you need to get a hobby, besides he has a tough home life that you probably dont, He is just venting his feelings of aggression." Now i had no care in the world about his home life just because he was being abused didnt give him the right to do it to me. Anyway 4 years after high school i got on a buss to go see my parents because my fiance was working late... I hadnt been picked on since high school and had not heard much about him besides a bad bar fight he had gotten into. well who comes on the buss but him. I immediatly looked down and got fearful and i thought please dont let him notice me. And for my shock he sat down and started talking to me about him going to college and asked me questions of what i had been doing. Talked to me like we were best friends. My mom and dad couldnt believe that i didnt take the oportunity to tell him what he had done to me all those years. The only thing i can think of WHy it happened on my part is that i was heavy and quick to defend my friends. He got a reaction he was looking for
124835
ive been through hell in my life too, i was beat and raped and even stabbed, and made to go w/out food, and w/out seeing my family. its not easy to forgive someone sometimes, but for your own sake you have too. all your doing is harboring all those negative feelings. do you want to be a victim all your life? of course you dont. so you need to decide right now that your not gonna be the victim anymore, you are the overcomer,ok? you can do it. you have a wonderful spouse right now and kids. you have so much to be thankful for. why would you want to let your past ruin your future? that doesnt make any sence at all. you dont have to talk to your ex, but just say outloud "i forgive, then say his name" "and im letting it go and giving it all to god, it no longer has any control over my life". and mean it when you say it. say it as much as you need to. remember this, if you live your life like this then you let your ex  win, he's won. he's still controlling you even though your not together. let it go, and let god!!! I did. and im gonna be remarrying this summer to the love of my life and i would never let my past put a damper on my happiness. i dont care about the past anymore, it just doesnt matter.
533405
You did the right thing. I am so sorry that you were put that abuse. \n\nStay on the right track; and do not allow his words of "sorry" etc let this man back into your life under any circumstance. He is unstable right now and anything could happen. \n\nAlert any and all neighbors if they should see his vehicle around to contact the police. I know that sounds bad; and you don't want your personal issues hung out on the clothes line. But you don't have to give them a reason other than he is court ordered to stay away for serious reasons. \n\nThis man should not be allowed visitiation of the children unless it is supervised either. You need to protect yourself and your children around this man. I would get that in the works as soon as possible.\n\nHopefully he will get some help and this will cease. \n\nStop feeling low about it because you're allowing this man to continue to abuse you by taking on his issues. Be proud of yourself and thankful that you are alive today! Let it go and concentrate on your future. You are strong and I am so very proud of you. \n\nGood luck to you sweetie and God Bless.
75334
I lost sexual interest in a husband once because he started mistreating me....it did a number on my lobido...better do some soul searching, dude.
373270
I didn't, I was an only child and instead of being treated like a princess (like I am!) I was more or less banished to my bedroom and slapped a lot-that's probably why I am such an insecure, immature attention seeker that I am now, but at least I treat my kids well x
663318
Once I wanted something so bad that I prayed, fasted, and abstained from a lot of personal pleasures, Just seeking the face of God was all I did during that period. But in his infinite wisdom, he thot it best that he denied me of my hearts desire at that time. But looking back at that time, i count it a blessing that I was denied, what i thot was best for me. For one I resolved in my heart, that though he denied me this i will still serve him all the days of my life, and will keep serving him no matter what circumstances i may face. I consider that to be one of the most significant decisions of my life. Many more great things have resulted from my experiences from that period, for one i am able to share this testimony with you today, as many may want to hear. And looking back at all I have learnt from the episode, i believe that I'm a better man than I would have been if I had been granted what I wanted.----Well i hope this helps.
322125
My abusive ex.  I won't go into details but the physical and mental damage done by this man is something I carry with me all the time.  Because of him I cannot have children and underwent 5 surgeries to fix the physical damage.  The paranoia I deal with on a daily basis because he has not been caught can be crippling at times, to the point I get afraid to go outside or go anywhere alone.  I cannot trust people like I used to nor do I let people close to me anymore, except a very select few.  It's left a feeling in me that seems to say people will suck you in by acting nice then they will turn on you like a rabid dog once you are sucked in and let your guard down.  I know, realistically, that isn't the case but it has left that feeling.  No, I'm not over this yet but I am working on it.  It just takes time to undo the damage done.  But it did take part of me and who I used to be away and I will never be able to get that back.
44697
No you'll never forget what he did to you. If you want to save your marriage then you both need to go to couseling.
309191
Sounds like you need to get some therapy !  Battered wife syndrome at the very least.  Did you like the abuse? Answering that question honestly to yorself will tell you to be or not to be friends with him.  DON'T MAKE EXCUSES FOR HIS ABUSE.
480118
Yes,\nGod has watched over me...I was a severely abused child and God helped me make it to 40 years old. Inside i m torn apart but he has kept me together! My dilema now is i m thinking of converting to Islam...i dont know what to do.