Can someone give me directions to my bathroom? lol
203180
glad I am not the only one who mis-places a room like that :)
558764
Tell the doctor that you had acute diarrhea and you blew the toilet off the floor. \n\nHope that helps\n\nGood luck
635945
call 311 and make a complaint, a inspector will investigate it and issue a summons, then iam sure they will clean the bathroom..
653719
I've used a men's bathroom before without knowing it because it had no urinals. It was one of those single room, just a lock on the door. It was at a gas station and the lock didn't work. 2 guys walked in on me peeing! So embarrassing!
305446
LMAO!!  ooh that is great stuff.\nheres what i'd do - make a joke out of it by smelling the guy next to you, tell heim he should really see somebody about that.  HA!  Then excuse yourself and let off some "steam" in the bathroom.\nhopefully your office can have a sense of humor about it!
170098
who gives a crap! its yur bathroom! so let it smell the way u want! jus prop open a window...thats what i do lol
571802
where am I supposed to continue at!!
345060
hey, we need to know where you are first!!! DONT u think?????? u can let me know at littlewalt88@yahoo.com
65441
Heres a couple of funny ones:\n   \n \n \n  Ways To Annoy Bathroom Friends   \n \n  1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, ''May I borrow a highlighter?'' \n2. ''Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that.'' \n3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. \n4. ''Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.'' \n5. ''Damn, this water is cold.'' \n6. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly. \n7. ''Now how did that get there?'' \n8. ''Hummus. Reminds me of hummus.'' \n9. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,''Whoa! Easy boy!!'' \n10. '' Interesting....more sinkers than floaters'' \n11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,''Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?" \n12. ''C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!" \n13. ''Boy, that sure looks like a maggot'' \n14. ''Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?'' \n15. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks. \n16. Before you unroll toliet paper, conspicusly lay down your ''Cross-Dressers Anonymous'' newsletter on the floor visiable to the adjacent stall. \n17. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, ''Peek-a-boo!'' \n18. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing ''Born Free.'' \n\nHere's another one: \nThe Poopie List   \n \n  Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet. \nClean Poopie- The kind where you pooped it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. \n\nWet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain. \n\nSecond Wave Poopie- This happens when you're done pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to poopie some more. \n\nPop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie- The kind were you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke. \n\nLincoln Log Poopie- The kind of poopie that is so huge, you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush. \n\nGassy Poopie- It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling. \n\nCorn Poopie- Self explanatory. \n\nGee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie-Poopie- The kind where you want to poopie, but all you do is sit on the toilet & fart a few times. \n\nSpinal Tap Poopie- That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving sideways. \n\nWet Cheeks Poopie- (The power dump) The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get spalshed with water. \n\nLiquid Poopie- The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl. \n\nDog Poopie- It smells so bad your nose burns. \n\nUpper Class Poopie- The kind of poopie that doesen't smell. \n\nThe Suprise Poopie- You are not even at the toilet because you are sure your about to fart, but OOPS!- a poopie! \n\nThe Dangling Poopie- This poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopieing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
414703
Post a reminder note on your bathroom mirror. Use bright colored paper or a bright colored marker to write the message. If you stop noticing the note, change it's location or change the colors. \nWhen you finish brushing your teeth at night, leave out your toothbrush & toothpaste on the bathroom counter as a reminder.
577687
Put a sign over the toilet that reads:\n\nTHE TOILET SEAT IS WHITE..... LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY.
204523
Get hand shower installed or take jug of water with you and wash with that. If any of above doesnt suit you, hire a servant to wash your bum when you finish.
645256
Great question! No, really!\nI've heard the bathroom referred to as "the library", "the study", "the office". All great references to a place where you have a reasonable expectation of privacy. But the reading material... ah that is almost sacred. My dad had a magazine basket. He always had a copy of the infamous "Jokes For The John" handy. And of course the latest copy of "Mechanics Illustrated". I learned a lot about mechanical things as a result of that exhaustive literary archive.\nI must admit there is just such a basket in my home now, after all these years. It is filled with old copies of "US" and "People" and "Readers Digest" though. Not the masculine fare I grew up with. The reason? It's not my basket, it's hers!\nSo I guess it really is a cross-gender phenomenon. Don't get me wrong, I do have my favorite reading material. "Jazz Times" is good, "Gourmet" oddly enough. So "what's the perfect companion in times of complete relaxation" you ask? The latest Harley Davidson catalog of course! All the accessories, the chrome, the custom sheet metal kits, the new tachs, the leather bags. Oh, oh! How could life be better? It could not! Fifteen to thirty minutes of privacy and relative silence with a Harley catalog. OH! It's like closing your eyes and waking up in heaven. It's akin to my granddaughter's perception of Disney World. It's Nirvana. It's Shangri-la. It's the Seventh Heaven! It's like being on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise just as Jon-Luc gives the command to "fire all phasers" or "fire proton torpedos, full battle spread". Are you kidding me? It is the very thread of life itself.\nTo not read in the bathroom is, is, is, to not breath the air that sustains life. To withhold the blood that pulses through our veins. To order a tall three-shot latte and pour it out on the ground. It is impossible to even think about! It cannot, indeed, it must not be contemplated. Who are you and what have you done with the real gudrun077?
521015
GO TO THE RESTROOM!!!! XOXO.EMILY.XOXO
501947
"Bad moon risin`" There`s a bathroom on the right!!!
61380
you can check your local Bath and Body Works location and ask them, there's a line of men's bath items, usually tucked in the back of the store. if not try Lever or Dial
524830
That's not possible unless you are medically ill.  It's not healthy either.\n\nJust keep your liquids to a minimum to avoid excessive trips but you will still make 'standard' trips to the restroom.\n\nPerhaps next time (since you don't like public restrooms) try taking a plane - it's quicker