It seems like lately, both my fiance and I are more irritable and we argue much more than usual over the stupidest things. What's going on and how can I help resolve the fighting? He doesn't make any effort to kiss or hug me and be kind to me like he used to be. I have stopped asking for kisses from him even though a good morning, good night and good bye kiss is very important to me. I even left without asking for a kiss this morning to prove a point, but I don't think he even noticed. \n\nI have come to the point where I want to tell him if the fighting doesn't stop, and I don't get some of the affection I need, I'm calling it quits.
202062
There could be a million reasons.  As far as kisses, why do you have to ask.  Just go up and plant one on him.  If you feel that you fight over stupid stuff, then every time you get upset with him, just ask yourself... \n\n1. Will this matter next week?  \n\n2. Will this change anything in our relationship?  \n\n3. Do I love him enough to learn to accept (whatever it is that has you buggin) it? \n\n Next time you feel like fighting, give him a kiss and pull him into the bedroom.  If he picks the fight, just tell him "I love you too much to fight with you, so if this means that much to you then fine, you're right."\n\nLife's too short to sweat the small stuff.
571427
listen to your heart.\nmy now fiance cheated and got her prgnant and we are getting married and i know how twisted that sounds without going into detail but i di a lot of soul searching so to speak and i just couldnt give up on us. yes you have every right to be angry and you will forgive him in time if you so choose to but take it slow and figure out what it is you want. sounds to me like you really love him and dont want to give up but i don't want to go into  to much detail about my life but i do know what you are going through and you can e-mail me at crazybearnluv69@aol.com if you want and i can better explain.
389098
i think that there is nothing wrong with expecting him to stop.  i suffer with the same problem.  and it IS a trust issue.  especially when they say they will stop.  i find my husband to be more aggressive in bed since the start of it.  it does effect me.   though i may not have an answer for you, i would like to give you some peace of mind that you are not alone.  and i do not think you deserve to feel the way you do.  marriage should be based on respect!  there isn't an excuse for it.  its dirty and i do not think that you are over-reacting.  so don't pay any attention to the negative feed-back telling you that you are and that you should just accept that your marriage isn't everything that you want it to be.  it can be but you BOTH have to be willing to work at it.  maybe talk to him about why he feels he needs to do it.  and meet him half way.  i hope that helps you!!  be positive.  you are deserving of so much!
487512
It seems to me that you should value your fiances advice; I can understand if it makes you a little uncomfortable, but it is possible that maybe your man can help you resolve this issue entirely, or at least find peace with the matter so that it doesn't eat at you. The best thing to do is to pray about it, and talk with him openly and honestly about the matter, keeping an open mind.
478413
Five months before the wedding we were fighting constantly about a lot of stupid things, like what the color of the walls would be on our bathroom or how to buy the perfect toilet (this is no joke...), one day while I was inside our soon to be home, I was getting angrier by the minute because one of the carpenters was insisting on needing more money which I didn't have; that same day we were having dinner with both our families for a formal proposal and so that my father in law asked for my hand in marriage for his son (this is traditional were I am from), so I called my fiancee and told him about the carpenter and he told me to handle it myself since he was at work. \nWe both started shouting on the phone, and things got really heated. I hung up and by the time we had to go to dinner I didn't know if he was going to show up or not.\nSurely enough, there he was, standing outside the restaurant with my father in law, and as soon as I saw him I knew we were going to be ok.\nAll of this just to tell you that it is ok to have mixed feelings about getting married, you are starting a new life and parting with the old one can be stressful, so don't worry about it, think about how much you love the person and whenever you get nervous breathe and try to concentrate on that.\nGood luck!
399403
I think l know exactly where you are coming from. My husband and l did separate. I guess it was both of our faults for one reason or another, but our main problem l think was lack of communication. We are back together again now and try to discuss everything. Sometimes it is really hard to tell your partner how you really feel, but as we can not read each others minds we must all learn to talk about our problems or they just  get all blown out of proportion and before you know it we have huge problems.There is no point begging him for anything, but please try and get him to sit down and atleast listen to what you have to say. Pour your heart out to him if you have to, make sure you get everything off your chest and atleast then you can honestly say  you gave it your all. If he still chooses to leave atleast you know in your heart  that you did your very best to work things out. No-one can expect you to do more than that. Hope everything works out well for you. Good Luck.
663043
Nope.  Frankly, I'm the same way.  My gf let me know it bothers her, so, I'm trying to make adjustments.  But, if you keep asking him, it'll just take longer and make him more irritated, maybe to the point where he can't deal with it anymore.  I'd let him know it bothers you, and leave it.  If he's going to change, he'll do it on his own.
69080
you sound just like me. i'm trying to work things out but i know the end result will be me leaving. i just want to be able to say that i gave it my all and totally mean it. sometimes we just outgrow them. have you ever tried to start some sort of hobbie with each other or do a date night? maybe that will get something going for you. i tried that. my husband didnt even care to go through with any of it. he just agreed to it and never did it. i'm writing a book on my horrible marriage. as soon as i get enough crap for my book i'm out. its not worth it to stay.
40354
You guys are married. TALK to him and find out what he thinks because they are really important to you. If there are disagreements, then you have to decide whether those disagreements are something that you can put up with and is your love for him and all his other good qualities makes up for it or not.\n\nIn response to your Additional Details:\nThis is going to sound a little strange but if you can't bring yourself to do what you want to do. That's okay. It actually is. And I am not being sarcastic here. What I am saying is, go with the flow. Sit on your unhappiness and frustration and let it simmer. One day down the road, when you have had enough and can't take it anymore, you will know the time to act, when you will have no hesitation, and no regret (well maybe the regret of not doing anything sooner, but better late than never)\n\nAnother thing, if he lets himself slide and the romance is gone, do you think he still loves you as much as he did before you get married? Some signs to take note.
575181
I think you and hubby need to have an open, honest heart to heart. When he complains about your "cool" behavior tell him, it's easier for you to be more attentive and affectionate when he is treating you with the same loving care. It is possible that he has some under lying problems that he needs to talk about, there may be some changes that he is looking for in the relationship....Just go to him and listen with an open mind. Find out what both of you are missing from the relationship, and make good effort to be sure to do those things...spend some one on one time with each other, doing things you both enjoy, maybe even discover a new hobby together....enjoy loving each other again. We all hit rough patches in our marriages, we just have to work through them.\nGood Luck....you can email me if you need someone to talk to .\n\n\n**** wanted to add after seeing all the cheating answers that yes, they might be a possibility, but I think there would be other signs if that were going on....and This type of behavior doesn't always equal cheating!! Like I said he might just want a little change in the relatioship, or have other problems he needs to work out or talk about.  **** DON'T JUMP TO ANY CONCLUSIONS that could make matters worse, but keep your eyes open. ****
577383
You need to talk to him. The best way to do this is to go out to a quiet restaurant for dinner together one evening. Stay positive but get your point across to him about how you feel. You also need to ask him what has happened, at least in his opinion. Also, talk about the good times the two of you have had together. STAY POSITIVE! This will help both of you. This could be the start the two of you need to open up the talking again. The more the two of you can talk and stay positive, the better the chance you have of saving your marriage! I can tell that you still love and care for him, I wish you luck!
25757
Communication is so totally the cornerstone to a relationship....I mean...a *good* relationship.\n\nI've been on both ends of this; fed up and worn out from not getting along and all the tension.....and on the other end....to just be with a cold-hearted woman. It hurts both ways, but for different reasons.\n\nThe communication that I was referring to could be.......maybe your 'ex' is just not in tune to you and what you feel, and when you feel it. That may or may not be his fault. Meaning.....he could either be emotionally barren (his fault), or you could give him unclear, conflicting messages (not his fault). But anyway, he may not really know you are at that level of sadness *until* you cry. Up to this point he may think you are being mean or cold to him, to which he responds to you in kind.....not understanding what's going on in your mind or heart. When guys get angry....I'm *kind of* like this too (to a degree)....we like to blow up, be left alone, and then later.....we're cool,\n\nHe may have interpreted your reaching for him as 'tenderness' when he wasn't in the mood for tenderness. He may have felt frustrated by the sentiment change....arguing one minute and then a display of love the next.\n\nI'm not discounting the fact that....he could just be a flaming jackass.\n\nWhen it was blatantly obvious he had hurt you tho, maybe the nice feelings he actually does have for you were touched and he wanted to offer compassion.\n\nI doubt his feelings are fake. Communication of feelings and thoughts are so important. To learn and understand how someone shows their love, and then accept that as it is given instead of trying to change them to give it the way we want it. People have to talk honestly, not laboriously, but to just talk....have fun, and pay attention and really learn who each other is as a person and how they communicate.\n\nSometimes it *is* best to go separate ways, and if that happens to you, I'm sorry for you both, but that means the person you (both) are meant to be with is still out there somewhere.   :)\n\nEither way I wish you both luck. Relationships are a tough gig.
65326
if you really love each other no it isnt time to end it. Me and My gf are going through a simuliar phase. Fights are expected in a realtionship. There are two people involved and two different views. SO you can expect fights. Me and My gf usually have at least one fight everyday. Manly this is my fault because I am under a lot of stress due to being so far in debt and working so many hours. I take a lot of it out on her although I dont mean to. My gf is going through the stage of life where she is making a lot of deciesions ( whatever that means I am not sure just what some mutual friends have told me) Therefore she gets upset at me alot. LOL But before the night is over we make sure everything is fine between us.   Good Luck I hop everything works out/
294049
You will be pissed once you find out, even if you try not to be.  My fiance and I told eachother one night when we were playing cards and hanging out and we had had a few beers.  It was kind of like haha funny well ... we made it a fun situation and we both have an idea, but we don't know exactly, and we haven't talked about it since then.  It still hurts sometimes when I think about it, but you just have to remember it was in the PAST and if he really loves you, he doesn't even think about them anymore.
667923
Have a sit down put all the cards on the table. Key word here is honesty can't have anything without it. Good luck. Hope it works out for ya. Sorry had to rush out the other night late for work, but as i was saying you have to figure out what causes all this hostility. You said both of you have done things you weren't proud of. So that tells me there are some unresolved issues here. That could bee the root of the whole problem. Advoiding a situation because it's uncomfortable doesn't make it go away. Hope this helps
647226
hmmm.......... i have been giving suggestion in this regard to a lot of people and i guess they liked it also...\nthe problem here is there is a monotonous life schedule which is going on..... you have a routine life and people do get bored out of their routine life.....\none thing i would suggest is stop bitching about each other.... this is the worst thing to do in a relationship.... ater all this, you two are together for 5 years means that there is something which is still there which is binding you two.... it can love, it can be lust......\ndo these to spice up your life.....\n1. give him a surprise party..... without any occasion\n2. always be a pleasant surprise for him.... keep him guessing what will be your next move... that will interest him...\n3. Perform a striptease in front of him... totally unexpected...\n4. for once, dont bitch back..... arguments leads to arguments......\neven though he does, you have to keep your calm, and try to love him, even though he might be busy bitching..... put your arm around him and kiss him on his lips.... the words come out.....\n5. don't hear whatever he says, when he is bitching.......\n6. give your love to him...... it can bind/heal/patch almost any kind of relationship.... it can cure the bitterness between you two......\ntake care and good luck girl
178201
Sex is very important in mine and my husbands relationship . I will be honest and say for two weeks we have not had sex or talked much about anything and we always had talked before . After my husband went to  work today I emailed him and asked him what was going on . He says he's been tired and under a lot of stress at work and has a lot of stress because his brother lost his kids . I have been so sad the past week just because I didn't feel loved or wanted . After he talked to me about what was going on I felt a lot better but sex helps people feel more loved and wanted . To me sex and talking is a big part of a relationship .\n\nAngel