My girlfriend and I are in 9th grade. We've been going out for about 8 months. I really enjoy her company, but I can't see myself being with her after this summer. She tells me all the time that she thinks I'm the most incredible guy she's ever met, and I get the feeling that she wants to last a long time. I've been thinking that I need this summer for myself to clear my head and think about what I want for me. When would be the best time to break up with her and how? \n\nAlso, a lot of her friends have become my friends. I fear that next year, if/when I break up with her, they might stay away from me because of what I did. Any advice?
216225
Hey buddy!  There is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone... make sense?  Sounds like you love her, but may not be in love with her... or simply stated, may not have the romantic feelings that she has for you... it's a tough spot to be in - sorry!  \n\nThere is no easy way to break someone's heart or "let them down"... but you owe it to yourself and her to be honest... and ASAP!  The longer you "pretend" or carry on like you have stronger feelings than what you do, the harder it will be for her... after all, no one likes to live a lie.  Focus on the qualities you like about her and tell her how ya feel.\n\nDon't be surprised if this rocks your relationship as friends... it may even jeopardize any friendship you hope to have (especially if you wait to tell her ya feel).  Trust is a big thing!!!\n\nBest wishes!
596263
well all you can do is just give her space, and yea. but the main key is to communicate with each other about your feelings and etc.  but if she really wants to break up with you, then all you can do is just accept it and move on. i mean she is not the only one, there are more fish out in the sea waiting for you! most likely its just puppy love, or then again you really might love her. always remember all the good times that you two had together, and move on with your life. i mean there is no sense on getting depressed over something silly as this. believe me, its not worth it! but if you ever need someone to chat with or whatever just e-mail me at sports2rhyme@yahoo.com or teddybear2006_2007@hotmail.com
27780
aww how seet you sound like you have a good heart, but if she has a boyfriend then i'm sorry to say but u probably need to let her go, i know it hurts now and it will hurt for a while, but u never know they might have a problem and decide to break up, but for right now it doesn't look like it's going to happen u have a life to live live it to the fullest each day and u and her could be friends.. if u can't have her as a girlfriend u  can atleast have her as a good friend.. other girls will be out there, they may not be like her but i know they will like u and learn to love the person u are...
126692
I answered your last question, but now that I know more of how you are with things it helps me to understand it a little more.\n\nI agree that you should pray about it, and give it to God.\n\n  I would talk with her about it and let her know that you have to work on yourself more before you can give yourself to someone else.  Tell her that you do like her, but let her know that right now is not the right time for the two of you to be together and that you would like to stay the amazing friends that you are because she lights up your life when she is in it.\n\nGood luck and God bless.
284662
I haven't been in EXACTLY the same situation, but I'll give you the benefit of my advice, anyway! \n\nFirst, don't do anything until he breaks up with his current girlfriend. That might mean you have to wait a bit, but it's the right thing to do- and besides, you'll put the guy in a bit of a tight situation if you say anything now! (And his girlfriend won't exactly love you for it...) So, wait til they break up. I know it's tough, but wait! \n\nAnd THEN, go for it! Don't worry about it ruining your friendship, because it sounds like you two really are best friends, and a friendship that strong, isn't going to be hurt by something like this. Tell him how you feel. \n\nThe best relationships are between people who start out as best friends- I know, from personal experience!\n\nGood luck!
247221
The best thing you can do in this situation, is to take a step back, and wait. It appears you're pressing the issue too hard, and you have her a little threatened by your persistence. Leave it alone for a few days. It's obvious you're not going to care less, but it might give her a chance to see you're an all right guy that she would like to spend some time with. Good Luck!
546462
Bad place to go ESPECIALLY so soon after he broke up with her. One - she's your best friends ex. There is a reason he broke up with her and you probably don't want to subject yourself to the same just for a little sex.\n\nAlso think about if you did start dating her - do you really think your friend is going to want her hanging out with the both of you or with you guys as a couple? \n\nI understand he's not so broken up about it, but they are still an ex-couple -\n\nMy vote is don't do it.\n\nMiss Cris\nhttp://lendinganear.wordpress.com
71326
Oooooh ... I think u r in a baaad situation/ well, if I WERE IN YOUR place, i would break up with ur girlfriend and go for that friend u have. u never know, SHE (ur gf) might be trying to keep u away from (HER) and seeing another guy at the same time. PLEEEASE pick me for a best answer. I thought for  along time on this.
586621
I have actually been through something very similar to this situation in my High School Days, where I was accused of doing things that I was would never ever do.  It turned most of my friends against me (or people I thought to be my friends).  It also caused a downturn in the relationship with  the girl that I loved, and it made our relationship very rocky at the time.  Her friends were so hell bent on breaking us up on all accounts and after about 3 years of trying they finally suceeded.  Things like this had made me learn a few things....  \n\nIf you have become an outcast in your group, then screw them.  They obviously do not know the real you and that is now their own problem.  Let them get a new friend to replace you.  Eventually if you didn't do anything wrong, people will come around and realize who was really right and who was really wrong.  And after a certain point, it won't matter anymore.  When you are done with the high school years, you will most likely only have 2 or 3 true friends and if they can't stick by your side now, they surely won't be there when you graduate.   The thing is is just to be yourself.  You can be nice, but be firm and don't give in to the first person just because your desperate to get back in the group.  Its not worth the time nor the effort....\n\n~Chris~
408623
That blows. Be close with her, focus on having her as a friend, and remember that when they break up you should wait until she has time to recover. Don't do anything more than you trust yourself to-- if you participate in cheating on Graham with Caroline then you will pretty much ruin any possibility of a serious relationship between yourself and Caroline. Good luck, and the world needs more guys like you!
449125
OK 17, I think that you are just a bit obsessed about this and it comes through loud and clear.  Sounds like you have a comfortable life, car, good family life so why is it so important to have a serious relationship right now?  If everyone else had warts on their ass would you have to have them too?  I don't mean to sound uncaring but I have had some experiences with relationships and they aren't all that they are cracked up to be.  They take an awful lot of work, commitment and energy.  Take if from someone who would like to be 17 again take your time, embrace your friends, male and female, and enjoy yourself.  Nothing says that you can't share your thoughts and feelings with those who are good friends.  The more you try the the more desperate you become and the more desperate you become the more that comes through to scare off any potential girl friend.....understand?  The old saying goes "If you love someone let them go, if they come back they are yours, if they don't they never were.....I think that's how that goes and it makes sense.....enjoy life now cause it only gets more complicated as you get older.\nGood luck 17, now go out and get some friends to go to the movies and enjoy!!!
532532
You know I've been in this same situation. It's really hard to deal with if you guys are so close. I just let my friend be and went to hang out with other people. I would call her and invite her places but she always turned me down because she had already made plans with her new man. This went on for about three months. When she called one day I told her. I'm not mad at you anymore but I would like for you to know that what you did really hurt me. We had been friends for five years and this guy comes and now you act like I don't exist. She apologized and we started hanging out again. Some people just get caught up in situations and forget about the feelings of others. You just have to put yourself in her shoes. If you were in a new relationship you might do the same thing to her. It's something new and right at this time you're just caught up in it. As long as you talk to her and tell her how you feel about it she should make it a point to try and share her time between the two of you. If she just blows you off then she wasn't a good friend to begin with and you'd be better off finding someone who cares about you and what your feelings are. Good luck with it. I hope she comes around.
144621
be gone with her. u r a safety net for her cuz u will always be there and she knows it. she is not ready to committ yet, but doesn't want to be alone. think about it. Does she every leave u without havin another guy there to take ur spot. she doesn't want to be alone, but she wants to play the feild. either get out or make it an open relationship.
324723
Talk to him as much as possible and make the time that you guys can see eachother a lot of fun. Its going to be hard, but just keep your hopes up. Summer really is only what...2 and 1/2 months long? When your not with him, just don't sit around and think about him though...it will make your summer miserable. Go out have fun with your friends and have an awesome summer!
582035
Man, I just got out of a relationship with a girl I didn't think I felt much for, and you know that saying 'you don't know what you've got till it's gone'? Well, I realized how much I truly loved her. Maybe it will hit your ex just like it hit me. Maybe with some time she'll miss you, especially if it was as good of a relationship as you say. And especially if you were her first. You don't forget something special like that. Even if she downplays it, it should be something that will be with her always. Just give it time I say.
79674
I think it important to assess how you behave in a new relationship. Are you perhaps a bit too full-on? Are you maybe even trying a bit too hard? I have a friend who is in a similar situation to you. She is a great person with a great personality but she has never managed to have a relationship that lasts more than a couple of months. Guys break it off because like your situation they like her but just feel that she's not compatible with them for a relationship. She's got loads of friends, but no boyfriend. this is because she's so outgoing and full-on. She tries hard to impress and guys just feel like they can't relax and get into a proper relationship. Shes a great laugh and really fun to be around but could they talk to her about problems? Could they share a secret with her? Could they just snuggle up with her and not have to have an exciting conversation? No. Just relax in a relationship. Don't be afraid to be a bit vulnerable and girly. let the guy take the lead a bit. Let him try to impress you. good luck.
529447
been there done that. I no excactly how you feel, I had the same thing happen to me with this dude. we kissed and every thing. its a weird situation. since she doesn't talk that much then ask her if you're offically going out. then latter tell her that you don't want her to call you so often. stick with her, once shes gone you'll feel realy bad like I did when I let him go. enjoy every phyisical action she does, it gets better and better. I used to not think about the dude that was with me and we went for a long time. you'll realy miss her if you leave her. I did.