i nkow i am a woman...but who am i...thats how i feel if you have gone thru this before could you give me some advice...
202526
Sometimes we are consumed by the roles we play in life which confuses our identity.  By that I mean, when someone asks you who you are, do you answer with "student, mother, daughter, or a job description?"  Or, do you answer with the unique qualities that make you special and represent the kind of person you are (i.e. I'm kind, thoughtful, intelligent, funny, focused, friendly..)\n\nWhen we confuse who we are with what we are our self-concept suffers because it is not being expressed. A lot of women experience this crisis when they go through a divorce because the label of wife is expunged and replaced with divorcee.  For me that is when I realized, my identity was too wrapped up in roles instead of the kind of person I became because of the roles I used to express the kind of person I am.\n\nIt really helps to list out both on paper. You'll find that the roles you play really are not that unique because a lot of people in the world play the same roles. BUT, in being who you are you play that role in a way only you can because of who you are. It assisted me in crystallizing in my mind the person I was and the person I wanted to become.
589897
If you're serious about it, then go for it. Some people really feel like they are in the wrong body. There's a lifetime movie coming on the 19th i'm going to watch about a guy who thinks he's in the wrong body and believes he's really a woman. It's sad but it happens.
19786
I think about this almost daily, as I am currently going through a divorce myself, because of some unbeliveably UGLY stuff my husband has done.  I, as well, consider myself wounded, possibly to that same point of no return---from that hardened heart.  Only, I ask can any MAN be trusted.  When I read your question, it just hit me:  I know I, a woman, CAN be trusted.  Obviously, you feel that you can.  So, YES, we are out here.  We made bad choices in allying ourselves with the people we married--people unworthy of trust.  That does not mean there are not wonderful persons of integrity in each gender out there.  Let's try to move forward and treat people as individuals, rather than representatives of the worst common denominator of their gender.  After all, how would either of us feel if we were dismissed as capable of the UGLY?  ...but I am with ya.  I mean, it's all well and good to say these things to myself, but getting to the point of feeling it in my heart is different.  Good luck to us both/all!
560754
I REALLY suggest you see a counsellor. And do some 'self expression' and 'cognitive thinking', when your counsellor is with you, for safety.\n\nAND: **Life is full of ups and downs. And hey pad yourself, you 'have hand' some rough years, that mean you pass them, you made it thru. Also, it's 'have had', it's pass tense, it's history, so tell youself, it's 2006 June 22.**\n\nI understands how you feel, because some here. I been thru more than 10 years of rough time. Even now I still have to practice telling myself ** **.
508813
Saying that openly on here is a start.  Find a counselor (many are free) in a gender you'd feel safest with, and try starting with small steps.  Tell them you don't feel comfortable opening up.  They know how to help you.
122958
I haven't met myself yet, I have been trying to find it. Alot of people have told me, "I know who I am." But they are wrong, I am nowhere close to knowing who I am.
182757
It's always normal to feel things about the same sex... but if the feelings continue you should explore them some more... and maybe talk to someone about it. \n\nI guess I need more information.. but i hope this helps.
534020
A lot of people feel the same way you do. I understand what you go through.   Stop thinking so negatively about yourself and seek some professional counseling.  Ignore any advice that does not involve professional help or group therapy.
64783
that sounded so nice.. if Im your woman I will feel honoured. The thing is, have you promised her before that you will change? have you shown your intentions? you may not be saying it but once you do your act, then that will tell her that you have changed. do the things she wants you to do even if it sounded new to you. It is when you're doing things out of the way to prove your sincerity that a woman will try to re-consider closing her doors on you. Write her a letter perhaps. write down the lines you remembered her saying to you. write down all your good memories. and thank her for being there and love her ... \nJUST LOVE HER.. and read the bible- for love is patient and Love is kind... again, JUST continue loving her
540637
Normally I wouldn't touch this type of question with a 10 foot pole.  To the asker:  you didn't provide any details about why your guy felt "like the woman".  There's a bunch of things that might be affecting that feeling, some of which may be your issues and some of which may be his. We aren't privy to anything like that so nobody here is going to be able to give you very good advice.  If you're both feeling insecure or its a problem but you want to work it out, I suggest couples therapy.  \n\nNow, what prompted me to reply was the first responder to this question, who said that you could "CONTROL a man using.. femininity and submission" yet you would not love/respect a man who allowed you to "DOMINATE" him.  Sorry, sweetheart, but control is a type of domination. You can't have your cake and eat it too.\n\nWe live in a world where gender roles are not clearly defined, and it puts a lot of extra stress on relationships because people have to determine what works for them as individuals and as a couple.  Sometimes our self-identities don't allow us to form a coherent twosome vision with another person, sometimes we can compromise a little.  However, being "feminine" doesn't mean being a backdoor manipulative woman, so I'd throw that concept right out the window (and probably relieve any major stress about being "someone you're not").  Best wishes!
338030
You will feel better with time; and you are not the only one who experienced this. So, move on and know life will get better. Also, you will have a better idea of what to look for in your next relationship..
402289
If I could change something about my life, it would be to do with my self-confidence.  I have never felt important or felt like I had anything special to offer other people.  I have had several bouts of depression in which case each one seems to be harder to get through than the one before.\n\nI am being married next month and the one thing that is really important to me at the wedding is that I feel beautiful when my pictures are being taken.  I know it sounds very superficial and I understand that.  I can count on both hands how many times I have been told that I was beautiful and actually felt it.  I want to be able to look back at the pictures and think that I am a beautiful woman, inside and out. \n\n I live in Eastern Canada and I do not believe that we have a shortage of resources here or anything like that.  In order for me to get stronger emotionally and mentally, I think I would have to be able to meet with a counselor and talk things out.  Because of the fact that I am 21 years old, I feel that it is a great time for me to gain the self-confidence that I have always longed for.  I want to get this resolved before I have children as I do not want them to go through life following my example of being the person who couldn't stand up for herself or give her opinion.  When my children look at me, I want them to see a strong and confident woman who they look up to.
16270
Hello there,well i did have to stop to this question my dera!A question that i myself use to ask myself awhile ago,but for a long time now resolved!Now I really get the feeling that this questions also is asking for help and desperate mesures!Now i Do Not Know your Case..But I can Feel it!My Name is Smaara,I am from Canada a,Quebec,I am also Glad To answer this for You..But I am Also Offering You My Help!Now your Question Is Why Do Woman Always Get abused?-Well I have To say That in My entire life abuse was part of it..since i was 2 years old,You see i do not know you,and i know that you are living things that you do not deserve at all!In a Womans Life..She Who Has been Living With abuse,either Physical Or Phsycological is even if she doesnt want it seems to be attracted to it...If You had Abused since a very young age..when you reach teenager..you have the bad gift of usiing this vicious circle..that even without knowing!I Had a Really Rough Life Of Abuse...Believe me You Need To Get Out Of IT!Stop Now and Think About It...What Has Your Life Has Been Breing You With all The abuse You have Been Experiencing!I Lived it But Also Studied It and If You Do Not Btreak Up This Circle That Is around You,Following your Eveysteps Of Your Everyday Life Well...No Maen To Scare You But some Dont Make It OUt!Lots Of Woman Will Use The Help Hotline Our Abuse line..That is Not Your Way Out,And That My Dear Is What I Know,You need TO Get Out..Not Tomorrow,Not In a WEek,But asap.....Men Love To Abuse Woman Because Thery Feel It Gives Them Power,Yes Power Over You..He has a Nee To Feel that He Controls Youre Every Move And As Far As I KNow...I think That You Do Not Need That..Especially With The Life YOu Had!Mister Feels SO Important...But Let Me Tellk YOu,,Mister si Nothing But A Looser!Break it now while its Not To Late..You Need Help..I am There For You Even If You Do Not Know me.Read Below Plesae.
131430
I am a honest person and speak out loud alot. You should tell her how you feel; you will be relieved. I can not hold nothing down and you should SPEAK UP.\n\nGood Luck!!!
20822
I used to be like that and all of my friends tried to help me but it was something that I had to learn on my own.  I went through a hard break-up and then I didn't even think about guys for around 6 months.  Now I have a new man and I'm happy but I realize that I could make it on my own and be happy w/out a man.  My situation may be different that your friend's though.
12085
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.I ALSO HAVE FOUGHT SO HARD TO WHERE I AM. I HAVE GONE THRU SO MUCH,AND FOR PEOPLE TO JUDGE YOU BY YOUR AGE. I'M 22 and feel as a 30 year old man, i have my own home, my own car and a good buissnes.i have no problems dateing,but i seem to find the wrong kind of woman that likes to control a man,i have a sense of humor and at times i like to release steam on programs like this yahoo answers,but i'm no kid. i also enjoy the good, silly OR deep answers and questions here at yahoo. i don't care about points,i just need to blow out a little steam and survive another day in this life. FIGHTING FOR AIR as you say. i thank you so much for this public thank you,for you gave me confort and i know i am not alone. THANK YOU!
93536
yes people to change!\nthe feeling doesnt sound like a mutual one you inticated, so my dear you should move on