on purchasing things that you and your husband are not in agreement with?  I would like to buy an office armoire and my husband REFUSES.  It is $1000.  He is going on a trip that we have known about (I did not object to this...of course, I did not know that it was going to end up being THAT EXPENSIVE)...that will cost us $3000. \n\nHow do you compromise on these types of things?
216211
This can be a very big issue. A lot of marriages end over money issues. You two have GOT to sit down, put aside all specific issues at first, and concentrate on coming to an agreement on how you both are going to handle financial situations, especially large purchases. You have to come to an agreement on how the one will ask the other and define each of your boundaries. Then agree on how you will compromise. Above all, agree that you will first respect one another. Lay down the selfishness. THINGS are never as important as PEOPLE, especially the person you married. This said, it stands to reason that things should never come before each other. After you agree on how to communicate and compromise, then introduce specific issues.
411330
You can go either way. But always go with your gut feeling. I don't know what item it was or the price of it. Whatever virtues you stand by and will make you sleep better at night then do it. It may not have answered your question because you already know the answer!
144139
I think the whole tradition of rings should be done away with.  Is it really necessary to spend thousand of dollars on pieces of metal to show your commitment to each other.  Save the money and invest or buy something you actually need.  If you are going to stay with this old ritual I dont see any reason to try and update by sharing the cost so I guess I would say let the man buy both if you insist on tradion.  It is traditional after all.
105124
it's hard not to be upset, but he's stuck in a situation that when you look at it from an outsider's perspective, you see that he should really buy the car.\n\ni'm sure he will make it up to you about your birthday. \nmaybe you could help him plan a nice evening at home.  you guys could cook dinner together and rent a movie.  that's low budget!!\n\nyou'll have more birthdays and if he has a car he can get to and from work, so he can buy you gifts the next year!\n\nit's hard not to be upset, but sometimes you have to be understanding of the other person.  i catch myself wanting my husband to read my mind sometimes, but i snap out of it and jsut tell him what i need:)  \n\ni bet if you asked him his decision was hard for him... \n\nHAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
354643
Well I have 3 kids, aged 5-9..I've already spent $400  and I need to finish up with about $200 worth of more things for them. I've only spent about $100 on my hubby so far. I'm a big clearance shopper (year round) so I don't know how much I've spent on things here and there I have to give out to other family members. I also hit some really, really good sales on Black Friday so I think I stretched my dollars pretty darn well this year.
422649
What is his favorite brand of cars? Is he into Dodges? If so get him t-shirts, hats, etc. of his favorite car brand.\n\nWhat are his other interests besides cars, tools, and video games? Does he like computer games? What kind of music.\n\nWhat my boyfriend and I do is give each other a wish list via email for each other. My boyfriend is into cars and tools but he has so many tools that I don't know what to get him so he sent me a wish list and I picked out some things for him and he loved it. \n\nI feel it is best to ask what they want and have them be happy than to choose something for them to be a surprise and have them hate it. \n\nAlso pay close attention to him when watching tv or hanging out. He'll most likely say things in passing he wants this or wants that.
347556
I don't know your spending limits, but how about a teapot/cup deal in greens & purples?  Maybe with a couple of bags of funky tea.  Be nice, it is your husbands family and it is Christmas...feel the love!
461257
Maybe you two should compromise on things. Just because you like certain brands of items doens't make you high maitenance.  I love my Coach purse but I also love my Walmart flip-flops.  Its all about taste.  If you only see yourself in Armani, versace and other well known classy brands and ONLY want those things and won't get anything other than that then perhaps you are High Maitenance but if also enjoy other things that your b/f does then you are not so high maitenance.
235503
Yeah, there are times that those things are fun, but it really makes me uncomfortable to invite my friends over to shop for adult things.  It just depends on the people, some find it a blast, others are really uncomfortable with it.  Last time I did that was about 10 years ago, and I'm almost 40 now.  At this point, if there's an item of that nature I want, I'll go online or to the local adult store.
205963
Your relationship is heading towards doom if this can't be resolved...If you think your opinion is not acceptable to him, just do say anything for the sake of peace.  Speak only if it brings favor on the situation.  I think your husband should also be counseled coz he seemed narrow-minded, if you can't afford to tell him as he will get mad, ask the help from people close to him without jeopardizing your name. Goodluck!
389452
i dont know where you live or any thing but what about a trip maybe skiing or maybe a nice dinner and a romantic evening, you know it is so hard to buy things for picky people or people that seem to have every thing they want. have you thought maybe some thing special for his car. i know my grown children love stuff like that. i dont know honey i hope i gave you a feww ideas anyway.
126327
Tell them you're really interested in the cabin, but you just can't afford that right now.  Ask if there are any "off-peak" weeks when they would be willing to accept a lower price.  Assuming your schedule is flexible, of course...  But that could also open up friendly negotiations for your current schedule, too.\n\nIf they have to choose between negotiating a lower price or getting $0, they will negotiate.  If they have a waiting list for the cabin for the week you want, then you're out of luck!
520737
Personally, I don't buy for all of my family/friends.Most of the family still give gifts to me as they please, for which I am very, very thankful for and I let them know this. But, I've made it clear a long time ago that I am NOT going to feel obligated to purchase/give gifts - it defeats the purpose of gift giving!!!  \nJust mention politely before the holiday that you won't be giving this year, and "please do not feel obligated to give to me", something like that.\nIf they get snippy that is their issue! You can't be blamed that people have come to be selfish. Some people would rather get something from you knowing you didn't care, than to wait for a heart-felt present. That's their problem!
168847
Stick with what you believe and let everyone who is not paying or participating in your life have their own opinion but remain who you are.  Your convictions of what you believe are more important than popular opinion.  If there is no problem between you and your bf why would you let everyone else create one.  The two of you should decide who is responsible for what.  If you two are friends I understand why he wants to take care of you.  It is a man thing that is hard to explain, but when you need help, like for your car, ask your bf if he would loan you the money to fix it. Then pay him back.  Your boss would probably want interest and the end result is a loan and how much you want to pay.  Shop and be smart but at the same time do not seem ungrateful for your bf is showing what some of us guys call love.  It comes in all shapes and sizes and is very valuable.  Throwing something away that is valuable you run the risk of losing it and it not returning.  If you love him show him by not being so independent, maybe try spending some of your money on him for the things he wants as that is what he is giving up for you.  See what it brings.  You might be pleasantly suprised.
520521
I guess I might start by both of us setting down and take a look at what is going out in bill's 1st for the month.\n Then look at what is left over after bill's food gas for work --Then add up your pay coming into the home each week then add that up to see what you have now deducted the over all bill's from that ---That is what you have left to play with or save.Now this is where each of you need to see what each of you may spend with whats left over.And if there is not enough to shop that week or every 2 weeks just don't do it !\nIt takes a lot of disciplined as you know since you are the Strict Budget one.\nBut yes I would set down in a loving way and talk it out.\nYou sound like a sweet husband.trying to fix something before it gets out of hand.
381701
Ahoy my fellow Canadian.  There are many unique and wonderful gift shops in whatever province you subside.  They may appreciate something of an artistic nature that neither of them has or a gift certificate to a store that you think they might like to shop at.  It's hard when people are going through the second or third marriage and don't really need anything.  Myself I'm in Northern Ontario and know for a fact that there are a lot of artisan spots that have different gifts for affordable prices (well within your budget). Good luck shopping and to your landlord in his new life.
416373
Whenever I'm in that situation (for anyone, not just boyfriends) I make a list of everything he or she likes. Try to be as specific as possible. As you're making the list you might start to come up with some possible ideas. My boyfriend (who buys everything he wants and is consequently extremely difficult to shop for) just had a birthday and I did the same thing for him. The list was ridiculously long, but I ended up buying him season 1 of Stella, an incredibly stupid sitcom that lasted only 10 episodes. Anyway, he absolutely loved it. He said that it was one of the most thoughtful gifts anyone had ever bought him and that he wouldn't even have thought of buying himself that. So give it a try-- maybe you'll come up with the perfect gift! Good luck!