He always has something he is hiding frim me and i cant take it anymore. He is always looking at other women and barly looks at me we never spend any time toghether and im scared to hurt his feelings even though he has already hurt mine.  \nso can you help me out?
200371
Everyone is saying the same thing and its true.  He is playing you like a deck of cards.  Dont worry about his feelings any more.  You have to take care of YOU!  The relationship is really, already over.  Now you just have to make it official.  Tell him good bye and good luck.  He isnt worth your time or tears.  No man is.
72168
I have the same problem, ive been hurt by friends and family and i STILL think up conspiracy theories. Talking with him will help some, but the change has to be WITHIN you, the only thing he can do is make his life a little more open for you. I try to be as open and honest with my GF as possible, that way she can trust me more, also i tell her where ive been and she even knows my E mail password. She knows who is on my buddy list and who ive called. I do all of this so that there WONT be trust issues in our relationship. BUT she could still be paranoid, so she has to just admit to herself, that if im cheating on her, then it DOESENT MATTER, she will just break up with me and move on, or if i truly repent then fix the problem and continue the relationship. But you HAVE to let it go, go out on a limb and put yourself out there. once you say it doesent matter, and you have "let that person go" then that takes away any walls that were in your relationship before.
645985
I have the same problem and this is what I do tell him and if he gets mad then tell him you need a man who respects you.  But like they say you have to worry when they stop looking because that probley mean that they are cheating on you.  Ask him why he stares and hits on other girls and ask him to stop.  If he gets mad or deosn't stop then he never respected you and you don't belong wasting your time on a guy that doesn't respect you.  Jamie
354160
Didn't he forgive you the "witchy woman" you were?  It can be saved, but you have to forgive him first.  Remember why he was looking.
204217
Keep him in check, tell him it's them or you!!!  Regardless how much these girls hurt him, why in the heck would he want to turn around and contact them? It would be a completely different story if he ran into one of them at a store and talked to them for a few minutes and drop it at that, but I think he should not even look back about his past.  He should be looking in the present and future and be gald that he found the woman of his dreams.
184374
First off, you are allowing him to look through your stuff, big mistake!  Obviously he was gifted with the jealousy gene and you with the "let him do whatever he wants" gene.  So my first piece of advice, stop letting him do whatever he wants.  Trust is a two way street.  If he wants to see what you have in your junk, then he should be showing you what's in his.  However, it's very common for an unfaithful person to try and hide their guilt by trying to find something to blame it on with their signif.  So what should you do?  I'd dump him and get someone who's got self confidence, maybe it will help you get some too.
167008
You need to get a grip on yourself. This kind of behavior is what drives people away. Trust is key in a relationship. If you do not trust him and he has given you no reason to doubt him, then you need to let it go.
640197
I think it is important to figure out why it is bothering you so much.  Sometimes it is hard to think about someone's past when we are worried about whether or not we can trust the person, or when we are worried about their feelings now, or when we feel a little insecure.  Maybe it is some of those things or none of them, but whatever it is, don't let the past take away from your happiness with him now.  He isn't with those girls anymore, right?  He's with you.  So enjoy it!
254945
This is normal male behavior.  Be honest, you looked and noticed she was "hot" too.  We all look at other people.  Don't make a big deal out of nothing.  If he's doing more than looking, or looking online and in magazines then, I might move on.  If he's not happy looking at you, the real thing, then you don't need to stay in his sights.
130149
This has nothing to do with you even though you are the new girlfriend but this was part of his life before you this is something he has to take of, he can use you as a defense ans say look i have a new woman now, i've moved on but this is something that you should stay out of it will only make things worse if you get involed. if you dont beleive me you will see by expeirance, and then you'll be like man that Mrs. Rucker lady on answers was right.
288770
That is pure selfish. He wants other women and you too. Been there before....Not something to try and build another relationship on , a threesome. If he truly loves you, he'll put her to the curb and come back to you, no matter what. If he's asking you this, and is separated from you now, then his intentions aren't to fix things, its to have his cake and eat it too. Its not fair to you, move on, find someone who won't use you to get his kicks like your current hubby....GL;)
297473
Well if you guys say you are the perfect couple you wouldnt be paranoid and if you trust him enough than you know hes not cheating but if you wanna know so badly just ask him whats going on exactly between you and me cause im being serious about us how about you and go from there you wont feel paranoid and just tell him whats making you paranoid like the girl with the books never know he may be just being nice but hes still showing you two off as a couple to all the other girls and guys so what hes comfortable with them looking at you why not him and other girls it may be difficult but at times you have to get use to it and get over it
202070
this guy is being unfaithful and hes trying to cover his tracks but listen if he was not guilty then why does he get so defensive.ill tell you why because he has a guilty conscience and another reason is men hate to get caught! it makes them look like a bitch.so my advice to you is to check him and if he cant respect what you ask then hes hidin something so be careful and goodluck gurl!!!!!!-lisa
37019
May be try to be more open with him? Offer to share information and anticipate his questions by providing the answers outright.  If this doesn't work, then consider that fact that he may be jealous and paranoid and that whatever you do (or don't do) won't matter because it will be his version of events that he will see. Next step, I guess, would be to find out for yourself if you can have a long term relationship with your man knowing that he doesn't trust you.  \n\nGood luck!
180068
He has lowered his standards because he has lost a woman of your caliber. He knows he can't hold on to a woman as good as you. Maybe he will see the error of his ways and come crawling back and it will be your turn to make him feel bad. He is still trying to hurt you and he needed a comparison between you and his new bimbo. You are better than that and you know it. So does he. Stay strong lady. There is someone out there who will treat you right and love you for who and what you are. You don't need him and the pain he causes.
270988
Tell him to open his eyes and quit hanging with her...he should already know that by now...duh!
294523
I think that you better leave him alone and give him the space that he needs right now or you may drive him even further away. If he cares for you at all he will come around in time. you need to try making other friends to get your mind off of him for a while. A lot of guys don't like it if a woman gets too agressive, it will scare him away.