My husband and I are having a problem making time for us and sex, we have a two year old son that keeps us pretty tired, and my husband works nights, I am a student in college.  We rairly have time just to relax together, and would like another child, but can't even find a time when we both are in the mood, ect... Would love some ideas on keeping our marrage alive and fun for us.
200793
Yeah, been there, done that, got the T-shirt! What you need dear lady is a babysitter and a date! Get Grandma and Grandpa, best friend , sister, brother, whoever is your most trustworthy babysitter to take the young'un off your hands (and mind) for a night you and hubby can both make the time for- go out to dinner (budget dinner is just fine, just make it romantic), go for a walk after, hold hands, remind each other why you got married in the first place, and then go home and light some candles!
677060
My fella and l aren't officially "a couple" any more, but only for the past few weeks, we're still having sex though.\nlt doesn't feel like a bad thing cos we only split cos of my weird family, we still see one another(well have sex) but it doesn't feel bad cos we both want it and we know we would still be together any way if not for my family.
41100
Wow this is a tough one but I know you need help so here's my advise:\nHave sex,but be very cautous about what you're doing because remember that it can bring a child into the world. I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT YOU REALLY THINK THESE QUESTIONS OVER. DO YOU LOVE HIM? ARE YOU WILLING TO RAISE A CHILD WITH HIM? AND POSSIBLY EVEN GET MARRIED JUST IN CASE SOMETHING GOES WRONG?\nWell I think you're gonna have a lot of thinking to do, but please do remember that something may go wrong and you will have to take responsibility for it sooner or later!!!
126439
Decreased sex is completely normal in a marriage. It's your responsibility to spice things up in order to keep the passion alive. Try in on the floor, in a public place, use toys, do something taboo, anything new. Continue to give each other compliments especially about each others bodies and what you like about it. Be naughty! It's not just the mans job to keep it going, take the initiative and he will appreciate it I promise!
467419
There is nothing wrong with wanting sex all the time and it is hard when one person seems disinterested.  You have some idea if he is under stress or if he is tired all the time so I won't go that route with this answer.  I also won't go down the is he cheating path because if you had some concern about that you would have mentioned it in your question.  I would ask you to think about what was going on before you got married when the two of you were having sex regularly.  Were the two of you living together??  Were you the one who initiated it all the time??  Alot of times we have the answers to the question we pose you simply need to look into your history with your husband.  I asked you the questions above because a similar thing happened in my marriage.  I was distracted and very busy not to mention I was very tired all the time and I felt as if I didn't want to disappoint my wife by not having the energy that I normally had.  So she felt I had to be out there doing something with someone because I was not doing it enough with her.  Desire is what fuels sex so you have to "get back on your husband's mind".  How, well some times a little shock could be the key.  In your question you say you are thinking about getting it elsewhere, tell him that.  Yeah I said it, tell him that he is frustrating you and though you don't want to cheat, he makes you feel as if you want to cheat.  Now don't dare cheat because it is not worth it.  You wouldn't want  him to cheat on you.  Tell him that making love is very important to you and that you are not trying to be selfish but that you need and want to show affection.  From the wording of your question, you seem like you are willing to do what it takes to make him happy.  My other suggestion is to be patient.  You might have to accept a compromise where you might have to get it twice a week instead of everyday.  One thing is for sure, sex cannot be the defining issue in your marriage.  You have to find a way to communicate what you are feeling and act with the information that you receive.\n\nGood Luck
209824
The same thing happened to my second wife.  We did it like rabbits when we were dating but once married, the activity dropped off quite a bit.  I am sure the rigors of married life has something to do with it and the comfort in being in a long term relationship.  I am sure it doesn't happen to all women nor men for that matter.  Could be that you just need to try something different every now and then.  Location, clothing, time of day, etc.  Variety is the spice of life.
491282
can't blame you for getting frustrated...what you need is a break. meaning...go somewhere else with your husband, take a trip to a new place or a place where you've been to before and had a great time...\nsometimes it takes much more than "holding it" to ignite things... a change of environment once in a while is good for both of you.\ni think your husband feels stressed out, or something is really troubling him and doesnt want to tell you what...but that's another story...\n\nand about your question if its normal for him to not want to have sex, my answer would be yes. My husband is like that..sometimes...esp when he's tired, i realized my energy level is higher than his so i try my best to meet halfway...husbands are lazy when they are tired and sleepy even if as you put it...you are a hottie.\n\nGood luck to you and your hubby...
479902
Don't take it to heart.. I don't have a website, but I am a mother of a 2 year old, and a 3 month old... Being a mother is HARD WORK...as I'm sure you know.. And feeling sexy is the last thing on one's mind. When she lay's her head on the pillow, I'm almost positive that she is asleep 2 minutes later.. Things will get easier, and she will go back to her sexual self, but until then, just let her be, because you if you put too much pressure on her, she will just treat it as a chore.. You may want to try to get a sitter for the evening, and take her out.. Dressing up is not so much fun either but once the clothes and makeup are on, she will feel much better. You don't have to spend any money, just go for make dinner and go the beach, or park or somewhere, even your back yard and eat together. Get a bottle of wine to help her relax, and just have fun. No talking about money, kids, work.. ect.. I promise, this is a sure thing!
557181
Just because you don't have sex everyday doesn't mean that theres something wrong with your marriage. If you want the physical enjoyment to last longer, why not start with some forplay. And if he's too tired to do the work then ask him if you could ride him. Also there are books out there that you could look at. And theres plenty of toys and creams out there too. I even seen a swing built just for sex.
610310
Even if intimate time has to be planned out and stuck on the calendar, make an effort to plan for it.  It is an important part of your relationship.  Make a plan for bedtime and put off doing a couple extra chores until the next day so you have some energy.
666542
Hello Bella, the first year of our marriage we made love about 6 days out of each week. Once our Daughter was born it dropped off quite a bit. Now after 11 years of marriage we still make love 2-3 times per week on average. Sometimes more, sometimes less. It doesn't matter how many times you do it. As long as you BOTH are happy, in love and please each other, everything will be wonderful!\nGood luck
148956
This is one of the most difficult questions I have seen here. There are only a few ways to do this...do you have weekends together? Plan one weekend a month where mom (either, or alternating) agree to take care of the kid and GET OUT OF TOWN, at least get away to a Motel...sometime sleezy, sometimes nice. Leave the TV OFF. Concentrate on each other...talk, coo, pet, soothe, console, hold eachother, do things together that have NOTHING to do with the home...like sneaking out on a date, cram as much of eachother into this time as possible. During the week, a 10 minute quickie initiated by one or the other...always be responsive whether you feel like it or not..given the chance, even a tired body responds well, often better than an energetic one. And, it doesn't take sex to make for a passionate affair. And unexpected call, flowers for no reason, a kiss on the back of the neck. Show interest in each other's lives. Support eachother, avoid arguing ...takes work on both parts but it is well worth it. Love, romance, and union are not always about sex. He could watch the babies for an hour or so to let you take a long, relaxing bath by yourself ... alone time is necessary for a good relationship. Work, work, work is the only true way to make a relationship joyful and rewarding. Take when given, give when it will be taken...was all love to please our partner...show your partner that they please you, turn you on...leave nothing to guess on their part. Smile, laugh, and when you are so tired you cannot take another step, remember your other half is in the same boat. Be super considerate. YOu do not have time for fighting, for that takes time from positive, reinforcing love. Remember, the kids will grow faster than you can keep up with. Be united in your efforts to raise your children on a path that is nurturing, loving, with definate boundries you both agree on. A united front towards the kids provides no room for arguements. Pay the bills on time and no arguements will arise for the electricity being turned off. Phone, gas bills...someone has to pay them...make arrangements with your bank to pay these bills with online payment..takes very little time. Share duties for food  and prep whenever possible. The couple that works and plays together stays together..with common goals that are not obsessive. There must be time for play, as well as family duties. We all to often spend too much time in percieved duties at the expense of what really counts...the relationship. It would be greatly beneficial to have one of you get another job...one more conducive to more time together AND more time apart ... we all need personal space. Too often, in misguided romantic notions, we feel that we should be everything and all to our love...that never works. We both know that. With compromise and agreement, you will reach a great, healthy and workable balance in this life. Work for it after agreeing to it. Know that agreements will not always happen, but one or the other has to give now and then. We can only bend so much before we break. Do not let it come to that. I wish you the very best of love and luck in this. YOu deserve it and can keep it with firm resolve to put your lover's needs before yours...within reason. I do care.
625678
My husband and I talk a lot during. Sometimes it's just a matter of telling the other what we want at the moment and other times it can get a bit dirty...LOL...It just has to do with the moment and what we are feeling.
423907
although sex is pleasurable....continue to do what you wanna do! if you guys are comfortable without sex then so be it! just continue being happy in your marriage! don't let other people tell you about YOUR marriage! YOU and HIM are married not everyone else, so their comments on YOUR MARRIAGE shouldn't matter.
589735
Well the simple fact that the two of you are working  two jobs each is a big part of the problem. Why are you? He's tired, your tired and it becomes something else to be done sometimes, instead of being a fun part of your relationship.\n\nIf it's possible try to cut back some of your hours, so that you guys can have some quality time with each other. Or at least a day off together. That will hopefully lead to sex. \n\nTry to sit down and talk to him about how you feel he might not really realize how much your sex life has gone down.\n\nI'm still going through this madness with my boyfriend only the roles are reversed. \n\nDrop me an email if you neeed someone to talk to.
438983
well you must be as old as me or older and i ask why are you wasting time on here talking about something that important.  I got lucky and found this site to stop me from being bored out of my mind at night at work but other then that i spend time with my woman and take care of her in any and every way.  So your wife probably isn't the problem.
666653
Oh my goodness, if I didn't set some time out for me (and my hubby) then my head would be filled with greys (and that;s if I hadn't pulled my hair out yet! lol). We have younger children so they are VERY needy, so we set aside a time at the kids' bedtime for us. Also every other Friday we have either his parents or mine watch the children so we can have "date night" it really keeps the marriage healthy and helps us keep our sanity