hi I am 56 married for over 21 years, with 4 bypass 3 heart attacks diabetes and the OBVIOUS SIDE AFFECT!!!!!! NEED SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO HUG AND KISS AND GIVE AFFECTION AS THE SPOUSE IS SO MECURIAL...she loves me she loves me not she loves she loves me not!!!! ANY ANSWERS OUT THERE???? ANY VOLUNTEERS?
213119
I will warn you now from being ther 'other woman'... you are setting yourself (and the prospecitve other woman) and your wife up for a LOT of heartache. I fell in love with a man that I can't have and it has destroyed my life (message me offline if you want to hear it). He calls his wife an ice cube and they have barely had any kind of intimate relationship in four years. I gave him love, affection and my soul only to have it destroyed. Could you honestly hurt anyone like this if it happened?? You have to think of all of the people that will become involved and it will more than likely turn into a big mess.\n\nThink seriously before you proceed.
256987
He loves you very much. So much that the words "in sickness and in health" have a meaning to him. Not all, but many, guys would have gone by now. If I were you, I would love this man with all my heart and do all I could to hold on to him forever. He sounds like a very special man. Not many people get the chance to have a love that strong and true.\n\nI sincerely wish you and your husband the very best.\n\nTerry\n\nPS: True love can overcome all. He has found his nirvana in you.
311458
I am 32 and have been married to the same man since I was 19.  I had my first child @ 20 and second @ 23.  I work when I can, but with my hubbys job, sometimes I have to stay home.  I like having dinner ready for him.  Its not a bargain.  It is in the vows we take in our wedding.  When I am sick, he takes care of me and vice versa.  You can only speak for yourself, and that is good enough.  Have fun now, while you can, and save the dinner fixin' for later in life.
407641
Good for you, Emotional affairs can lead to worse.\nGet the book Love must be tough by James Dobson, and the Proper care and feeding husbands by Dr. Laur Shlessinger\nMake sure that all ties to this other man is over!  \nWork on your marriage and start seeing the first reason what made you want to love your husband the first place and why you married him.  \nAsk god to help you to restore your relationship>\nKeep your focus, and start being accountable for your actions, and be very sincere with your husband.\nI would go into long info for you, but I am running out of time, but the resources I have given you will help, and look on line as well of restoring relatinships.\nCheck your medical info make sure that there isn't no culprit hindereding your happness.
492476
1.  Diabetes is not communicable between sexual partners.\n2. The link after the number 2 is a useful one for this question.\n3.  Impotency can happen but there are many treatments for this.  Impotency in a diabetic is a function of blood glucose control.  It is important for health, as well as sexual health, to keep the blood glucose under control 80-150 points.\n\nI am diabetic and it is very much a struggle.  Approaching a diabetic about controlling their problems is a very sensitive issue for the diabetic.  When their sugars are not regulated they are over sensitive and irratable.  Independent of your relationship, he needs to take control of his life and his diabetes because he is causing himself great harm by not doing this.  If he needs help with dealing with these problems he could seek counciling.  Good luck... I hope all is for the best.\nOh by the way.  Definately educate yourself on this topic because little loop holes in the dialog between you and your significant could cause problems in the long term.  Little misunderstandings get blown out of proportion when the diabetic has out of control sugars.  Show understanding and love not judgements.
275596
Hi.I know how you feel. I am married to a guy and i only have to look at him or when he kisses me he makes me crazy.You can never have too much of a good thing.
472837
My Dr. and I just discusses this last week. Not all people who go through that are going through it due to being lazy. I have limited things i can do as of exercise as i was a passenger in a car accident that almost broke my neck. My feet are bad and i can't walk much or use a tread mill.\n\nDr. talked about this due to trying to help me lower my blood pressure, diabetes, high cholestrol, ect.\n\n I will review all the info here and all the sites you listed and talk to my Dr. again. Thank you Ziggy for your information.
502058
Maybe he is having problems preforming and he is insecure about it. I am 20 and my husband is 34 and we have been together for 2 years. Sometimes you still love each other and you still find one another attractive, but you just need a break from the sexual part of the relationship. Are you feeling pressure from the idea of marriage? Are you both stressed out in any way more than usual, maybe from planning a wedding? It all factors in, as long as you still love each other, it's OK. Sex isn't everything.
521747
Hey I like you! ^_^ ..lol..seriously though, good for you it's really nice to know that there are men like you out there. \n\nMy husband WAS selfish-I am at the point where I am just like "Come on work with me here" it takes it's toll on a person when your lover thinks of himself before he does you all the time. And you keep telling yourself he'll come around, you only have Faith to keep you from drowning really...It hurts to be treated second all the time. \n\nNow he's changing and I can finally breathe a lil more....I think I will have to get use to being TRULY happy in this relationship of ours and believing that things are different between us... it takes two right? =) \n\nHey thanks for giving me a chance to share my thoughts slash vent....keep shinning and never give up! Best wishes to you and yours!
148470
First I must ask you. did you marry your husband out of Love? Second and I'm asking this because I was raised LDS(Mormon) And sex was very forbidden but we did kiss Didn't you ever Kiss? If you did didn't you notice his lack of arousal? It sounds as if he has no physical problem, but a mental one. I say that because I know how it is to be raised in a religion that believes sex is bad, It is a sin to want to make love to a women unless it is for procreation and therefore it is wrong to let yourself succumb to natural desires. My Father was a Mormon Bishop (God rest his soul) We had this discussion over sex many times. I asked him how God felt about it and his answer was always, What goes on in the bedroom between husband and wife stays in the bedroom. But you have not said if you and your husband ever talked about having children. Maybe he he is afraid of that or maybe and excuse me for saying this, but maybe he is Gay?  I've given you my answers and I don't think you are wrong for wanting to get out. A man and a woman need to have the same goals. It sounds like the problem is with your husband even if he can't get an erection there is other ways to please you. I tried to not be to gross. Hope I was able to help. God bless and you take care. Reed wrwoodall@yahoo,com
282556
Ah, I am sorry to hear how much this is upsetting you, and I feel sorry for him as well. I wish I had a crystal ball to look into and find out what's really going on here. Something's fishy. \n\nAt the start of many sexual relationships, the lovemaking is hot! It's natural for sex to wane over time and you two were very busy. I sense that there's an undercurrent you need to ferret out, as it seems that he is flat-out avoiding sex with you. \n\nAsk yourself some basic questions: when did things change? Was there an incident that you can remember? Has there been a gradual decline? Has putting on weight, having children, a change in income/earnings or something like that happened? \n\nAs for the importance of this to your relationship, although national studies have shown disparate results, sex is not usually the number one issue in saving a marriage. However, if it's a top need for you and it compounds your feelings of inadequacy, erodes your self-esteem, makes you feel unloved or affects your ability to feel good about yourself in general, then it's time to have a serious heart-to-heart with him. Be gentle when you talk about it and try to understand what's bothering him. After that, you may need to seek professional help either together or alone — or give him up in the end.
62195
I suspect your beloved knows about the dangers of being a diabetic and drinking alcohol.  If you have talked to him/her and nothing changes, you need to make the choice of sticking around and watching this person get sicker, or get on with your life away from this relationship.  Not an easy choice.  Try Alanon for your own well being.  The members of Alanon are going through much of what you are going through.  Just know that YOU cannot change someone who is unwilling to change.  You need to take care of yourself whether you stay with your beloved or not.
103437
U are in love with ur husband..  I know how u feel..  Believe me you are needing him more and it is not obession.  U love your husband and u miss him very much when he is not around you when u need his attention .. WIth other men ,  they gave you attentions because u are enjoying it very much.. Same with my fiance, he works and works. we see eachother less than we were before. I know hes working hard to save money for the wedding . I dont want to sound so selfish but i had good times being out with men for fun.. NOTHING SERIOUS.. but when i think of him. i wish he was with me to give me a long kisss which would mean anything to me. But in ur sitaution u are little lonely and needs his attention ..so, u are pretty normal ..\n My fiance is getting better to spend times with me more now than he was. but it takes time to make him realize how lonely i was without him because i am in love with him soo much. He knows how much i am needing him . SO i can feel where ur situation is at ths moment .. Just think positive and STAY in faith to ur husband ..Maybe u can have a nice talk to explain ur feelings for him to be aware of ..  So dont be tired of him .. just be happy that u have a husband to love you and take care .. than u go for an affair which will be an ugly mess to suffer through for nothing ..  STAY IN FAITH!
207643
Always pleased to further the resaerch into diabetes and it's effects. I have been diabetic for 10 years now and still struggle with the fact i have it. I thinl there should be some kind of couselling form newly diagnosed diabetics but... yeah send those questions on. joelle@melvern.co.uk
517212
My grandmother was diabetic....she passed a few years ago.\n\nI just told a friend about your post he said tell her "dump him and get a new boyfriend". But of course it is more complicated than that.\nIn my opinion coming from a female mind you...\nHe (your boyfriend) most likely hates the fact that he has this condition. He is a man...and a man does not take "weakness" well. You can ask, cry, kick and scream but...it's up to him to take care of himself right. Just like people that need AA or in your case people that need Al lanon or therapy.\n\nSo the bottom line is ...\nyou can choose to stay and try to help\nor\nyou can say i'm leaving because i don't want to see you die.
518668
Wow, kudos for the spouse for having a wonderful understanding of "For better or for Worse".  This person is a gem for staying with their injured spouse and not being selfish and cheating or doing other things to emotionally hurt the already physically injured spouse.  You can handle anything if you are able to be a compassionate, understanding, giving and totally unselfish person.  Unfortunatley, there aren't alot of people like that in this society.
530816
I'm sorry to hear that you are having this problem with your wife.......however it doesn't mean that this is the end of your relationship. Women begin experiencing many changes in their bodies in their 40's (for example, menopause doen't all happen at once, there are different phases, it may take years to fully get through it), and it could be very possible that these hormonal changes are causing her lack of sex drive.\n\nI would try to be as sensitive and supportive to your wife as possible, as she may be having a hard time dealing with this herself, and then to also feel that she's letting her husband down is also an emotional strain. Ask her questions about what and how she is feeling towards you, but not in a judgemental or  way, maybe phrase it like, "I've noticed that we haven't been intimate, I just wanted to talk about it and see if there's anything I can do because I miss our closeness." \n\nShe could also be feeling low self-esteem. Do you still let her know that she is the love of your life and you think she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen? These sincere compliments can really lift a gal's spirits. Have you thought about surprising her with a date night, just out of the blue, something that she'd love to do. Remind her of the days you first started dating, relive some of your old memories together.  \n\nTell her as gently as you can that while she sees this as no big deal, you are feeling like something that the two of you once shared is missing, and it's important for you to understand why. We are all human beings and have needs, the fact that you so badly want to share this act of love with her and her only, but she's not interested is affecting you. \n\nIn conclusion, I think that in order to fix any of your problems, you'll have to open up the lines of communication. But I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that this is a sure sign of a failing relationship. Take into consideration all of the possible factors, and discuss them with your wife. Maybe a marriage counselor would help you both to express your feelings and concerns with each other. I wish you the best of luck, and remember to always tell your wife that you love her!