im living with my boyfriend in a foreign country..my mom has recently been ill,so ive been travelling back and forth every month to look after her.ive found out that when im away my boyfriend is looking up escourt agencies in the nearby city and callgirls in the area.he is swearing to me its just a porn thing.im kinda easygoing usually but this has really hurt me its happened every time ive been away.i love him but this is really hurting me.any advice please..
211529
You have every right ot be upset with him.  You are under a lot of stress right now, with your Mom being ill and having to travel back and forth, that is a pretty good strain on anyone.  Then to have to deal with this on top of that.  He has betrayed your trust and if you can't see it in you to let it go, then I would suggest ending the relationship.  I don't think I personally could let it go.  If he can't keep it in his pants for the short time you are gone then he's the one with the problem.  He would have a bigger problem if he were mine.
250592
I totally know that knot you are describing. I think lots of men do look at porn but I wouldn't say all. It doesn't mean you aren't good enough or anything and it should only really be a problem when he turns you down for sex and turns to porn instead. Talk to him calmly and ask him why, but try not to act like a mother scolding a wayward child. Hope that helps. Take care of you.
303316
If you are comfortable in how you look.... That is all that matters.  Pardon me for saying this, but this guy sounds like a jerk.  How come you are staying with him if you feel that he does not find you attractive?  Perhaps you should move on to somebody that will love you for "you" and not need to turn to porn for sexual gratification.  \nHave you ever just confronted him and ask if he finds you appealing in a sexual way?  I still think it is time for you to start looking for a better relationship.\n\nI can't believe you offered to let him take pictures of you, and he declined..... Most guys would jump at the chance to take some hot pics.  \n\nIf he is making you feel stupid or ugly, you really don't need that in your life!  A good partner in a relationship should make you feel happy, and he should not be afraid to show you exactly how much you mean to him.... At least that is my opinion...  If you want to "vent" more about this situation, you can always email me.. I am a good listener.\n\nI wish you luck!  I hope things improve for you!  don't let this guy get you down!
120858
I know what you mean when you said you are addicted to this site... me, i cant stop answering peoples questions either. Anyway, you can contact me if you need to talk about your problems with your boyfriend. Have a nice day.
672624
Well Babe, If he is doing everything that he is supposed to when he is with you, maybe you should take this opportunity to really let him know how much it is impacting you. If you have no plans of leaving him, and even if you do, you really need to let him know whats going on with you. Not Whining or Jealous but really heart-to-heart (like after sex..Funny but True) you need to approach him when you know that he is listening and you really need to express your concerns so that he can at least take them into consideration.\n\nAnd foremost Pray about all things Unceasingly and That God will hear you and answer you out of your distress.\n\nTake Care!
612113
OK, so you go to strip clubs together, you buy him porn mags and everything has been ok ? So think about it, Why wouldnt it be ok for him to lookat porn online ? Its ok for him to read it and look at in magazines, so of course he is going to think its ok for him to do it online to. Now realize that this internet porn thing is all new to him, he has been opened up to a whole new world of porn and he is going to continue to look at it every day because there is just sooo much out there. I doubt that he sees it as not having a need to finish with you. Because every man will say the real thing is better than a hand. Im thinking he probably just jerks it so much in one day that when it comes down to doing the real thing he is just to worn out. Maybe just tell him whats on your mind and tell him next time hes looking at porn, to hold off from masturbating all day that way you can get all of the sexual tension released on you later. Basically, you need to talk to him about and see if he notices the change. If he does talk about it together and try to come up with a resolution together. Tell him how its affecting you and as a decent man he will try to help you out as much as possible. Maybe try sitting down with him and looking at the porn together and then when hes ready to jerk it, he will have you instead ?
356225
cheating was wrong. and you were right to make him earn your trust back. But i would not get to bent out of shape about porn. It IS just looking with no personal contact. Besides 90% of men in America look at porn, the Internet is just a new way to get it instead of buying magazines in a store. But if you are really uncomfortable as you sound i would seek couples counseling to see what is going on. It will help more than you know.
351773
Porn or anything like it can be destructive to a relationship if it bothers one partner as is the case. Guys are visual creatures by design... so looking at pictures wouldn't be such a big deal but the searching through personals is a little different. If he is closed off to you otherwise, perhaps he's stuck there. Don't allow him to get further away in his head. If he won't talk to you, then get into a couple of counseling sessions and clear the air. He may have issues or be in a personal slump. Sometimes, as guys, these types of things are outlets for personal self-esteem isssues. Get to the bottom of it but be strong and stand your ground. Don't let him just write it off. Good luck.
419821
You have been together on and off for 2 yrs and he is still jealous and possessive things havent gotten better so why do you keep taking him back? When he came to your window he wasnt trying to make up he was looking for sex and that might be the reason he keeps coming back he know he can get it from you at any time. He is disrespecting your parents house by coming in by the window and you are allowing it to happen is he worth it?
340517
They there bubby! I gave you an answer last month regarding your BF who is in jail and demanding you send him money... I thought by now you would have left him because it sounds like he's having an extra marital affair in there, or he's paying for his drug habit... Quit sending him money now... E-mail me personally and lets talk...Been there and done that scene many times with my significant other and eventually caught him cheating on me so I left him after our 14 year relationship... He kept bothering me and wouldn't find a job and expected me to support him and finance his drug habit, so I went home clear across the State of Alaska, and you now how big our state is... Since then, I've got my life back, a new job and making more money and saving and planning on going on a vacation to meet this guy I met on the internet and hopefully take him home and start my life over again..... I occassionaly miss him and think about him but life goes on.... So I weigh the pros and cons of our past relationship and stop thinking about him and pat myself in the back for taking my life back towards the positive side and don't plan on returning to him... I used to go to the library to use a computer to check my e-mail, but since then I have been able to buy my own computer and alot of other things that I couldn't buy when I was with him..... I look forward to hearing from you Tracer and think positive and things will work out for you.... Otherwise do you have IM/chat so we can talk without having to wait for each others reply? So let's chat and come up with some alternatives to ease your pain.... I have yahoo messenger...
500900
Excuse me if I sound a little impolite but I think you have a control issue here! YOU thought it was time to share fantasies; YOU told him you should watch porn together; YOU have a higher sex drive; what can YOU do?\n\nFor goodness sake, give the guy a break.  Not everyone enjoys fantasies and porn and some people are a little uneasy with that level of intimacy.  Listen to him and his needs.  He doesn't want that right now.  Stop pushing or you will lose him.
387559
say goodbye and move on.  Sounds to me he's obsessive about it and this isn't a good thing.  For all you know he could even be watching child porn....be concerned for your daughter and get out of this relationship.
119807
Wow!  Get out, This man is only going to bring you misery.  He is not going to change.  Are you willing to live like this.  Don't you want to be #1, and thought off as the only one he wants.  It's okay to fantasize, but not like he is doing.  He is totally disrespectful to you.  NO WOMAN DESERVES TREATMENT LIKE THIS.  You are a better person than this, and deserve someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated.
436520
Oh, Hon.  This is a BIG one.  We have several issues here.  First, porn should ALWAYS be a problem.  You see, if men would stick to a couple of mags a month, no problem, but that is not the case.  You see, porn is a slow poison.  First he does it every once in a while and then before you know it, it consumes him.  He will tell you he does not look at it that often, it is most likely a lie.  Porn addictions are just as bad as crack additions.  It is VERY hard to break.  Not impossible, but VERY hard.  With this addiction he is taking time away from you and your kids to fulfill his selfish needs.  We he looks at porn, it is mentally cheating on you.  \n\nYou are right, when you leave home, it will only get worse.  He will neglect the kids so that he can sit in front of the computer for hours looking at naked women.  The kids will eventually see him doing it.\n\nYou know there was a situation like yours that was recently in the news.  Sarah Evans (Award winning country star and contestant on this season's Dancing with the Stars) had to leave the Dancing with the Stars completion because her husband has a porn addiction and their young son walked in on him watching pornographic materials.  Her son was devastated.  She dropped out of Dancing with the Stars because she had to take care of her son.  \n\nWhat I am trying to say here is, you children will suffer because of this addiction.  Not only will they be neglected, they will be hurt if they run into this material.\n\nThis porn addiction is about to be kicked up a notch because he is going to go crazy when you are not home.  He will be like a kid in a candy store.  He will have free reign to watch all the porn he wants.\n\nIf you are strong enough to take the computer from him, then do it.  It is not about you trying to be controlling (which any addict will call you if you try to stop them from indulging in their addiction), it is about you taking care of your kids even when you are not at home.\n\nBe warned your husband will eventually want more than the porn, he is going to want to start touching what he is seeing. It is called natural progression.  He has a bad habit that will only get worse.  \n\nYou and your kids do not deserve this.  You are going to be out there busting your butt for your family.  You need and deserve the security of knowing that your kids are not going to be ignored while you are at work.  You also need to know that you man is being faithful to you in EVERY way while you are gone for the day.  He needs to be faithful to you, mentally, emotionally and physically.\n\nBy the way, children are very impressionable.  They stay innocent for such a short a time.  They don’t need to walk in on their father indulging his fantasies with a computer screen, if you get my meaning.  He is getting aroused by the porn, and he is going to want release.  This could be at a time that your kids need him for something and that will really upset him.\n\nTake the computer if you can or if you don’t need it for work, cut the internet connection (but most likely he has downloaded a lot of stuff and saved it somewhere on your computer).  He needs to get into some counseling. So do you.  His porn watching has had to have some effect on you and your self-esteem.  Try one or two sessions.  Just talk to someone.  Nothing is worst than having the man you love constantly watching other women.  Even if it is only on a computer screen.  I wish you the best and God bless.
22321
This is an experience that I dealt with with my "ex-husband". When I caught it, I challenged him on it. He came up with so many explanations that I finally gave him an ultimatum. I told him that he needed to chose between the internet and me. He was also looking at adult porn. He said he would quit, but one day, I checked history, and found that he lied to me. Not only that, but while I was online, I didn't realize that his instant messenger hadn't been closed, and an IM window popped up from a girl who said "hey sexy"! When I looked at the messenger, I realized it was his, and not mine. I told her who I was and she said "What are you doing on his computer?" I told her that it was my computer, and that he was sleeping in my bed. I asked her if she wanted me to wake him up. Well, she was fuming at that point, and started saying things like "Oh, we're just friends, and also that they had never met, she was only playing around". Well, needless to say, I showed him the door real quick. I live in Ohio, she lives in Indiana. When he left, guess where he went immediately??? LOL! Indiana, of course, and he married her 6 months later. Funny thing is, they are divorced now, and since then, he has been engaged to 3 other women, 2 of which dumped him for the same reasons, and he is planning on his 3rd wedding with his new fiance this year. I've always been told that "leopards never change their spots". That's some good advise that I got from my mother. She is very right!!! \n\nMy advise is....don't get caught up in the whirlwind of the lies. They only get bigger and better as time goes on. If he's doing it now and says he'll stop, he'll do it behind your back! Cut your losses and find someone who truely cares about you and your feelings!!!
423398
Woah this is a big one.  1st of all i'm female and don't agree with men treating women like meat. (I'm sure if a girl told her father she was a porn star he wouldn't be too proud.) Now, if this girl's bf cares about her the same way she cares about him, he would stop looking at porn out of respect for her reasons.  Maybe she needs to find someone a little more caring to her opinions.
227494
Generaly is man`s play to pass abusive remarks at women`s dressing and physical features. But in your case I think the trust bond between you and your current boyfriend whith whom u r planning to tye a note is of most important. In fact this is the test of his trust in u. Next I feel you should be open to ur current B/f and tell the facts no matter if he loves u he will just ignore it and you will be even more close to each other. Yh going ahead with the legal rute is fine but it communication and clearity amoung your current relationship would be the best. As at the end of the day that`s what counts.