A king was giving his daughter away to be married four brave men have been chosen to compete for her...the king thought long and hard on what quest the men will have to complete to earn the princess. and then he came up with the answer....\n\nthe placed the princess in the middle of a room...he had the four men stand in each of the four corners of the room on a stool...he then told them the first man to reach the princess in the middle of the room will be married to her...but they COULDNT...touch the floor, jump to the princess, swing to her in any way, fly or use any other wierd way and they couldnt use the stool to move across...so how did one of the men manage to reach the princess without doing all of the things that were forbidden ???
199665
he asked the princess to come to him
504997
The phantom waits in the secret tunnel, it is secret because no one else discovered it and he waits years composing love songs for Christine. Raoel and her have a good life but he passes, one day when she is at his grave, she sees the music box on his grave stone. She opens it and there is a note inside from the Phantom who asks her if she will have him for the rest of his life, he will wait at the top of the old opera house near the rearing horses for her answer. \nAs she deliberates at home whether to go, a message arrives from her late Raoel. He tells her that if she is reading this, he is gone and that he has been helping the Phantom to exist because the Phantom relinquished her to him so long ago.\nRaoel tells her to go to him.\nWith the same gown he first saw her perform in, she arrives on the roof with the music box and the ring, now on her finger forever..................\nThat is my ending. Everyone got to be loved and love in return
37403
The "context" of the question is about Marriage and how a Man and a Wife should be conducting themselves in the Marriage covenent.\n\nIt is extended out here as a reply to the deciple about even getting married or having a relatiionship.\n\nIt was the custom to make eunuches of the male childern that could be used around the palace and other important houyseholds of the leaders who took them "Captive" in battle or as Daniel was with shadrack and his buds.\n\nOthers were not born into this world with a developed desire to be married or drawn to enter into relations with anyone in particular female or otherwise just content to have some form of companionship or brotherhood family relationship.\n\nOthers again make themselves one, so as to not be encumbered by intense relationshiups so as to free themselves to consentrate on doing the work of the Lord and how they can please him alone.  Ditto for the Virgin Women till death . . .dying to self and worldly pleasure and living or letting the Lord live through them.
617093
Say what? Congratulations for asking the most confusing question of the day! I've read it three times and I still haven't got a clue. Congratulations also to the gentleman above who did understand and gave you that exhaustive response. I hope you understood it and it answered your question (whatever the hell that was!)
349432
Earl decided to seek to annul his wedding to Charlotte.  He felt she had become blase to his ardor.  He also had come to deplore her frivolous ways.  In order to muster his courage, he drank heavily.  He got so drunk he began to feel like a nonentity.  He started to obsess over her ornate wedding ring that he had paid so much to buy.  Enough, he decided to oust her from the house that very day.\n\nThere, brief, used 'em all, used 'em in order.
315035
my best joke is long but it isn't super long take a look at it please...\n\n3 guys are walkin in a tropical forest, suddenly they come upon canivals, the canival king say that he will not eat them if they can pass his test, the king explains to the three guys that they all must go out into the forest and bring back 10 of one type of fruit, so all three of the guys head out...\n\nlater the first guy comes back with ten appels,\nthe king explains that to pass the test they must have all the fruit shoved up their butt with out a single emotion shown, so they begin putting in the fruit the first and second appels go in and then on the third one the guy screams out in pain, he is eatin...\n\nLater the second guy comes back with 10 blue berries,\nthe king explains the task to pass his test and they begin shoving,\nthe first 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 berries go in and suddenly the guy burst out laughing..\n\nso up in heaven the first and second guy meet, the first guy asks the second guy " why did you laugh you could have gottin away with it" the secong guy replies \n"i couldn't help it i saw the third guy coming back with pinapples!"
467977
hahahah......agreed the joke is long, but worth reading it......hilarious one......LOL\n\nYou can make this joke a bit short by editing . I have tried with the first para and see the difference....you can save  one line.\n\nJack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
127812
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks out into a house to look for money and a gun and finds a young couple in the bed. \n\nHe orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: \n\n"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." \n\nTo which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too!!"
514663
An old woman died. She left a very specific will that says she wanted all her pallbearers( the one who will carry her coffin)  to be all  women. \nWhy?? She said because if no man want to take her out when she was alive why would they carry her when she is already dead. ha!!\nha!! LOL!!!
617904
The princess liked Bowser, they were definitely having a secret affair.  She just didn't want her parents to know, because they didn't approve of Bowser as a potential suitor.  They didn't really like the idea of a plumber becoming king one day either, but at least Mario was human.  So they financed his efforts to get her back.  It didn't work, of course, since the princess spent countless games in Bowser's loving arms.
635483
This is the first time I've ever heard this version of the joke. I don't know what this is right here, but it makes absolutely no sense. \n\nThere were three guys walking down the street and ran acroos this farm house. The lady said they could stay in the house and have breakfast in the morning but if not they had to stay in the barn. \n\nWHY would they have to stay in the barn?? What were the guys suppose to do in order to stay in the house???\n\nI cannot express this enough; when posting a joke, write it correctly.
170151
The red knight is saying that the blonde is the knight of life. Thus, according to him, the blonde always speaks the truth. Well, the blonde himself states that he is the dungeon. Can the blonde be two persons at one time? From this we know that the red knight is lying and the blonde is lying as well. Therefore, the dungeon, who sometimes speaks the truth and sometimes lies, is in this instance, lying.\n\nNext, the brunnett answers that the blond is the Knight of Death. Thus, according to him, the blond is lying when he says that he is a Dungeon. This makes sense because if he is lying about saying he is the Dungeon, and as we know from above that he is not the Knight of Life since he is not speaking the truth, he has only one option -- Knight of Death.\n\nThis would mean that the blonde always lies. Also, it would mean that the brunette was telling the truth. The red, since he is the only remaining one, can be offered the characteristic of lying sometimes and speaking the truth sometimes.\n\nTherefore: Blonde -- Knight of Death\n           Brunnette -- Knight of Life\n           Red Hair -- Dungeon
62398
Problem 1:\n\nSITA = 12 WINS\n\nGITA = 20 WINS (SINCE SITA HAS TO GIVE HER 8 CHOCO AT THE  \n       END OF ALL GAMES)\n\nTOTAL = 32 GAMES = 32 DAYS\n\nTHEREFORE, SITA STAYED 32 DAYS AT GITA'S HOUSE.\n\nProblem 2:  \n\nMMMMM...@#$%&*...ZZZZZZZ....SNORE....????\n\nProblem 3\n\nC - is the reference point. He is in third place.\n\nA - he can either be in 1st or 4th place only since he is \n  to be followed by E. If he is in 1st place that would \n  make him a liar which means that he should not be in 1st \n  place. Therefore, he must be in 4th place.\n\nE - follows A, therefore, he is in 5th place.\n\nB -is in 1st place (gold). Liar. So he must be in 2nd place.\n\nD - is not in 1st place (silver). Another liar. So he must be in 1st place. Also, that is the only remaining place.\n\nSo the correct order (From 1st place to 5th place):\n\nD - B - C - A - E
440096
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.\n\n"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.\n\nThe two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.\n\n"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.\n\nGrinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."
526775
On This Morning once a guy phoned in asking for advice on how to propose to his girlfriend, and Richard asked if he had a ring.  When they guy said yes, Richard replied: "Well just tell her you love her and whip it out!"\n\nEveryone was in hysterics.
542261
First there is a link below with an annotated version. It is below if you want to read it.\n\nONCE upon a time an old queen, whose husband had been dead for many years, had a beautiful daughter. When she grew up she was betrothed to a prince who lived a great way off. Now, when the time drew near for her to be married and to depart into a foreign kingdom, her old mother gave her much costly baggage, and many ornaments, gold and silver, trinkets and knicknacks, and, in fact, everything that belonged to a royal trousseau, for she loved her daughter very dearly. She gave her a waiting- maid also, who was to ride with her and hand her over to the bridegroom, and she provided each of them with a horse for the journey. Now the Princess's horse was called Falada, and could speak.\n\nWhen the hour for departure drew near the old mother went to her bedroom, and taking a small knife she cut her fingers till they bled; then she held a white rag under them, and letting three drops of blood fall into it, she gave it to her daughter, and said: "Dear child, take great care of this rag: it may be of use to you on the journey."\n\nSo they took a sad farewell of each other, and the Princess stuck the rag in front of her dress, mounted her horse, and set forth on the journey to her bridegroom's kingdom. After they had ridden for about an hour the Princess began to feel very thirsty, and said to her waiting- maid: "Pray get down and fetch me some water in my golden cup out of yonder stream: I would like a drink." \n\n"If you're thirsty," said the maid, "dismount yourself, and lie down by the water and drink; I don't mean to be your servant any longer."The Princess was so thirsty that she got down, bent over the stream, and drank, for she wasn't allowed to drink out of the golden goblet. As she drank she murmured: "Oh! heaven, what am I to do?" and the three drops of blood replied:\n\n"If your mother only knew,\nHer heart would surely break in two."\n\nBut the Princess was meek, and said nothing about her maid's rude behavior, and quietly mounted her horse again. They rode on their way for several miles, but the day was hot, and the sun's rays smote fiercely on them, so that the Princess was soon overcome by thirst again. And as they passed a brook she called once more to her waiting-maid: "Pray get down and give me a drink from my golden cup," for she had long ago forgotten her maid's rude words. But the waiting-maid replied, more haughtily even than before: "If you want a drink, you can dismount and get it; I don't mean to be your servant." Then the Princess was compelled by her thirst to get down, and bending over the flowing water she cried and said: "Oh! heaven, what am I to do?" and the three drops of blood replied:\n\n"If your mother only knew,\nHer heart would surely break in two."\n\nAnd as she drank thus, and leaned right over the water, the rag containing the three drops of blood fell from her bosom and floated down the stream, and she in her anxiety never even noticed her loss. But the waiting-maid had observed it with delight, as she knew it gave her power over the bride, for in losing the drops of blood the Princess had become weak and powerless. When she wished to get on her horse Falada again, the waiting- maid called out: "I mean to ride Falada: you must mount my beast"; and this too she had to submit to. Then the waiting-maid commanded her harshly to take off her royal robes, and to put on her common ones, and finally she made her swear by heaven not to say a word about the matter when they reached the palace; and if she hadn't taken this oath she would have been killed on the spot. But Falada observed everything, and laid it all to heart.\n\nThe waiting-maid now mounted Falada, and the real bride the worse horse, and so they continued their journey till at length they arrived at th
445219
The Baudelaire's meet Count Olaf, and his neighbour Justice Strauss, who is possibly the only nice adult they ever do meet, apart from Uncle Monty.  They learn that their inheritance will  not be paid to them until Violet reaches 18.\nCount Olaf decides to marry Violet, which is a little disconcerting given she is about 14 in the book, and he puts a ply on called The Marvellous Marriage intending to marry Violet legally during the play.\nKlaus sits up all night reading about laws and works out the Counts evil plan.\nCount Olaf  locks their baby sister in a cage high up in the air to blackmail Violet into agreeing to the marriage.\nViolet signs the marriage document and it looks as though the Count has his evil plan all sorted out, until Violet announces that she signed it with her left hand and so her signature isn't legal.  The count protests and Justice Strauss said it would probably be upheld in a court of law because if Violet signed her name using her right hand the two signatures would be difficult to prove as belonging to the same person.\nJustice Strauss offers the orphans a home with her but Mr Poe says he can't allow it because the parents will stipulated the children must be raised by a relative