my wifes a smoker but she's been lying about it. Maybe she is ashamed but why does she have to lie even though i have told her so many times that its okay, just don't fib about it so much.(actually its not okay to smoke your killing yourself.) do you think that its okay if a person continuallI lies to you?  I'm kind of getting to the point where i don't trust her about other things... please let me know what you think.
203302
Relationships are based upon honesty and trust. I could not lie to my husband about anything even when i know that it is going to get me in trouble, the reason is is because I love him and he deserves to know what is going on and to lie to him is to dishonor him. \n\nShe is probably embarrassed about her habit, but she needs to realize that it is not okay to lie to you about it. It is not very honorable to lie to someone and I can understand where you would not trust her.  You probably almost feel like she is hiding something. \n\nI would suggest having a long hearted but gentle and calm talk with her and maybe counseling may be necessary as well
575543
This happened a few years ago.\nI was in the army and overseas in korea.  I went to sick call because I had injured my ankle while running.  So the doc gave a look at it and gave me some pain meds and a wrap for it.  Then he proceeded to ask me a few random heath questions.  What do you eat? When do you sleep? ect..  So he asked "do you smoke?"  I answered "Yes, occassoinally".  so he asked "would you be interested in quiting?"  I said, "well I don;t really consider my self addicted so, no I am not interested in your program to help quit".  He persisted, "you know that smoking can cause lots of health problems, and may shorten your life".  So being the person I am I answered with" well I always figured I will die at the end of my life".  His responce was" if you keep smoking you might die before then".  to which I replied " no sir, I don't think thats possible." :)
380247
I don't think it's really fair of you to accept this gift from him when you know that he was bothered by it.  I think it would show a lot of good will and respect on your part (something you didn't show him by lying to him about smoking) to tell him you don't want him to have to contribute to your bad habit
252858
Similar story myself with smoking and not listening to parent, so I think you are doing the right thing not going crazy, as it didnt work for me. I think maybe she may be smoking as she thinks it is cool and out of subtle peer pressure to fit in with friends.  Perhaps you could try bribery.  It is best to deal with it now so that she does not get addicted.  What is her weak spot, is she very concerned about her appearance? Cos you could talk about her ageing faster is she smokes.  I dont know as kids dont see themselves as ever getting old and they think they are immortal.  I would explain that young people can get lung cancer too and they can also get cancer of the tongue and mouth which is becoming more common, and this would be awful, and not glamarous at all.  I do think bribery may be the best option, I do sympathise, every parent wants to protect their children, if only they could learn from our mistakes. good luck.                 Also the other comment gave me an idea you could get her to exhale smoke out through a tissue, it will come out yellow and will give her an idea of how black her lungs will turn if she keeps smoking\n\nCould I add  that I dont think you should be buying her cigarettes (if you are), that is sanctioning it and you cant appear to be that in favour of it.      Maybe she doesn't even like smoking and it is all show.  My guess is like most kids she may not be inhaling smoke properly anyway - (lots of kids do grow out of this phase)                                        \n\nIf you want to stop smoking yourself I found Paul Mckennas hypnotheraphy dvd combined with 4 mg nicotine gum made it suprisingly easy to give up (you still need a bit of will power, but the dvd helps you forget as long as you listen to it for 1st week or 2 once a day.  I failed 1st time as I did not listen to it enough but 2nd time it worked brilliantly and that is after 14 years smoking.
76615
I know exactly what your saying! A person in my immediate family does this constantly, and it gets to the point where you don't know what to believe and what not to. And in my experience, if they are habitual/pathological liars, calling them on it has little effect. Sometimes I wonder about the things they lie about ( in particular a card game that never occurred). If I were you, I would reevaluate my friendship/relationship with that person and consider if it's worth the time and effort...Hope it works out for you ..
396098
I'm not a smoker nor do i like cigarette smoke:\n\nhow close do you live to this person? You make it sound like he/she is walking up to your windows and blowing it in. There is nothing you can do about it. It is still their legal right to smoke in their house or on their property. Unless you are window to window with this person i think you are being a bit ridiculous. That person has every right to live there. I dont think there is a problem to address to your neighbor. You just seem like one of those unbearable neighbors that nothing makes them happy.\n\nSecond hand smoke is just as bad as doing it yourself but once again unless you are window to window or he is blowing it in your windows i think your kids will be just fine. I mean do you expose your kids to other things in life that arent so healthy? Sugar,mcdonalds,tv??????
257295
One of the best guys I know used to be a huge stoner and is still known to light one up from time to time but the the guy is one hell of a father and he would never run out on his kids. Every one is different you could have a normal non-smoking nice guy run out on his kids and kill a hooker. You could have a stoner go nutts and kill everyone. I don't agree with what a lot of you people have said you pass judgment when you don't ever know the people. It's the person not the drugs they do or the wrong they have done in the past. Everyone has a few problems or bad habits so none of you can say that the guy would be bad with his kids because of a bad habit. If he is a good guy then he will be a good dad.
437884
There's woman on my job who sounds like a man with a bad cold.  Yet she continues to take smoke breaks all day long and she is always coughing but she's not sick.\n\nI can only imagine what it's doing to the lungs.
119197
do you realy wanna quit smoking or is there part of you holding you back.coz with me, i know it would be right to stop but part of me just does not want too. someone else lights up and its a chain reaction i want one too
621423
I think everybody has missed the point here; smoking causes lung cancer, and oh-yeah, kills people.\n\nYou do what you feel comfortable doing but get this kid to stop.  As a smoker for 20 years, and spending 150 bucks a month on it-I can tell you, I wished somebody had intervened in my life.\n\nHe may pissed now but when he's older, has a family, and not smoking around them, or having them worry about his health, he'll look back and thank you
574209
As an ex-smoker I will tell you that she won't have any problem, with you being a non smoker. \nShe might be even happy to date someone that doesn't smoke, because in the event she wants to quit, it will be easier if she is with a non smoker.\n\nYou seem to be fascinated by the smoking issue, why don't you just ask her why she smokes...what she feels...\n\nBelieve me smokers like it when non smokers are curious and ask those questions.
560544
I'd LIKE for cigs to be illegal...  My husband and sister in law both have asthma, and sometimes have to walk RIGHT PAST smokers to get to the EMERGENCY ROOM.  Hello!?  And my father-in-law died of cancer caused by second-hand smoke in his childhood.  I'd LOVE tobbaco to be illegal.  Will it ever happen?  *hopeless laughter*
249732
Personally No. It is something that she should have been up front with. Lying in a relationship is inexcusable especially about something that material. If you truly do love her and wish to stay with her than the decision is yours but before committing yourself to her ask yourself if can you really ever trust her again?
486938
If we smoke as many or as more than you... would that make you feel better?\n\nThat is only a question, not a judgement. My nana has emphasema (spelling) and she's dieing from it. I wish there was more I (everyone) could do to help smokers. \n\nI know ppl who smoke 1-3 cartons per day. (25-26 sticks * cartoon).  That's not unusual. \n\nLook after yourself mate. Mean it.
333243
Possible.  Smoking is bad for your health all the way around.  It has been known to restrict the arteries, thereby decreasing the bloodflow to the heart and brain.  So, I'm saying, yeah, sounds right.  I'm guessing he told you that to make sure you never start smoking, and I hope you never do.  Terrible, nasty, expensive habit (I know, I smoked for 11 years) that will only kill you early and painfully.  Don't bother with it.
396237
Like I always say you should be allowed to kill yourself whenever and however you want.  I think this not smoking around kids thing is nonsense.  However if second hand smoke is proven to cause health problems then I wll be all for it.  You can kill yourself but if you bring others into it then thats a problem.
38750
Wow... i smoke but i go outside and change clothing when i come back in so my kids wont be around it. Your mom sounds like one tuff lady. have you voiced your concern to her about YOUR HEALTH? if not you should. If she still doesnt want to stop you could always move out or make her move out if it bothers you that much. Geez i cant beleave how stubborn your mom is. I dont see the big deal on going outside to smoke. I feel for you. \n\nGood Luck. one more thought maybe you could show her one of those videos about what happens to your body when you smoke and you could start crying while watching it with her and tell her you dont want her to end up with cancer and die.