I have tried being outgoing and going up to guys myself, but that does not work becasue they usually dont like me.  So I read a book somethere that women should really fall back and wait for men to approach in social settings.  If they do not, it is for a good reason... like they are already in a relationship or have mental problems... I dont know.  I consider myslef an atractive and intelligent woman.  I have also been told that I intimidate men.  I dont get it...what do I have to do to find a decent guy?  Is my approach wrong?  I dont like to meet men at clubs but that is the only time they really wnat to come up to me.  On the street I get nada.  Somebody help a girl out!!
207367
Well! ... if a girl approached me, I'd probably be less interested in her. Why ? well, that's the last "Man's Job" that we need women to do. Besides, it represents a "masculine" side of the woman, a side which we don't like to see in them (at least me). \nI approach girls everywhere! However, Clubs are NOT the place to look for a relationship, I mean, you know why guys are there, and they're not there to dance!\nI think you should stop approaching men, but try to grap thier attention, a quick look, clothes, perfumes...etc. I can't promise that all of them well approach, some guys with enough confidence will though.
454526
Look, maybe it's weird, or just unfortunate, but guys need some kind of excuse to talk to you. If you're just there with your friends, lookin' all hot and stuff, but they have no compelling reason to talk to you, they won't. Blame it partly on shyness, partly on fear of rejection, and partly on respect for the space of others. Just 'cause a girl's hot doesn't mean I'm automatically gonna cruise up and say hello. Are you sure you were making eye contact? Maybe you were looking at their eyes while they were checking out your stuff.\n\nIf you really wanna be approachable, then try saying something yourself. Do it when you're up getting a coffee and Mr. Cute is standing beside you. Make a remark about the coffee, or how busy the place is, or whatever. Just give him a reason to talk to you. Just strutting by is not a good enough reason. Most guys, if you're dressed all hot and looking confident, will assume you've already got a man and leave it at that. Sure, they'll tell their buddies at the same table that you were totally giving them the eye and just what they'd like to do with you, but most guys don't have the stones to do anything about it. The ones that do can be pretty scary. Do you really want to date a guy that has no problem  striking up a convo with any cute chick that saunters by? Hey, if he did it with you, then... \n\nLastly, and obviously I couldn't possibly know this, but is there any chance that your image of "trendy" might come off as a little sleazy? How much skin were you showing? Guys sure like to look at something like that, but in the backs of their heads, they're wondering what Momma would say if they brought 'em home to dinner.\n\nGood luck.
202197
sometimes men like women who are agressive or direct.  Maybe you should talk to him, be yourself, and say hey we should hang out at (wherever).  I like you and I think you are great.  Maybe we could get to know eachother better. What is the worst that could happen- you go on never knowing, aching over one person, or, take a chance, find love, or get turned down and move on to someone who does like you- because you are yourself.
501620
Been there done that, I hope you told the moron to take a hike, First you have to think about the other person you have gone with in the past they may be expecting you to go with them again and waiting for your call, however the way you approach men is the same way you approach your girl Friends always smile and say hi never hold a grudge, it takes time you work on it, little bits of conversation become long conversations, compliments are  a mans down fall though, but don't batter him them though men like being noticed as well as women so if he's making a change in his appearance or if he has done something that has attracted your attention let him know but you must always shot from the hip always be honest timing is everything, and you should have many men as Friends when men see that, and then you start to show interest in one particular guy he'll feel honored that you choose him but most importantly  and these two are the most important treat everyone equal the jock is no better than the nerd bill gates was a nerd,johnny dep is off the wall and more often than not the jock ends up working the 40 work weeks struggling to make ends meet and don't go buy looks  or how cool a person is that would make you self centered I've gotten many black eyes defending people who get picked on, and I still cheer loud for the under dog as I will be cheering for you on your homecoming date, be true to yourself , never ever give a person a second chance to hurt you if your a good person to them and a good Friend then they only get one shot. So seek out the man you would like to take and ask him rejection sucks but we all deal with it, and if you do get rejected be sure to say hi and smile next time you see them, trust me it works, may not get you to the home coming but it just may get you a date with them later,that's how you build a circle of Friends, so I wish you the best time at your home coming and that it all works out well for you.  P.S. how would you feel if you were the second or third lady to be asked by  a man remeber that when asking the man make sure that they are not aware of other men you have asked. best wishes,
153611
Maybe you need the right blend of agressive and passive.  Plus, some girls and guys go for one or the other etc.  Also, I know it sounds lame, but just be yourself.  And be ultra-charming.  \nI think you should concentrate on improving yourself, for your own benefit.  And, if you improve, women or men will notice and go "hmmm"
650227
Have you tried asking them out? A confident strong woman sometimes intimidates certain guys but you shouldn't change how you are unless you are disrespectful or verbally abusive. It just takes time and patience. Be open to signs from other people and don't be afraid to make the first move- you may be surprised.
21619
First of all, although looks can be important, every woman has their own idea of good looks. I'm sure you wondered at many odd looking couples and wonder how he got her. In my experience, it sounds like the issue is lack of confidence. Many times women do not want to be the agressor, and they get sick of waiting around for the guy to make a move on them. So, do all the things they like, as you say you do, but don't expect them to suddenly say. "Hey, you're awesome, let's be together!" Just lean over and kiss that girl! Be sweet, but be confident in yourself. You may get rejected sometimes, but everyone does, until finally you will find the right one. \n\n:)
193194
You probably come off as unapproachable. or even cold.\nIf guys are hitting on you, it would seem that you are attractive to men.\nCheck your body language, maybe you give the impression, that you don't care for them.\nSurely there is some guy, who has flirted with you, that you may like to see more. If it happens again, be more open, and perhaps suggest you both go for a coffee or something. Then just be yourself.\nAll it takes is practice, you won't hit a home run every time, but at least you will out there trying.
166175
Not all guys are like that. Anythime I have hit a girl it was by accident or either she was trying to kill me. Sounds like you are inb the wrong crowd. Look elsewhere for guys or try giving the quiter shy guys a chance. Like the guys that admire you from across the room but are to nervous to get up to ask you out. good luck
272258
Saucey, it is looking at beautiful women like you that bring out the aggressiveness in men.  My goodness, what do you think we should be like when you walk by?  Should we not look at you and just turn away?  Should we change any subject that we were talking about?  No, as good looking as you are we should approach you and start a conversation, for how else can we meet you?  We have to be aggressive for we are the hunters, the alpha males and we need to meet the females of our species in order to procreate and also have fun!!!!
303461
I would be, I'm open minded, caring and generous.  Not trying to be a creep though.  Maybe what they are saying is that you need to meet someone genuine, not the "typical" guy who thinks of himself superior to women, and that a women's place is in the kitchen, stuff like that.  But rather a man that would treat you with the respect and understanding that your friends think you desrve.  Good luck on finding that special someone.
461352
think what you would do.. you know guys and gales aren't that different... would you just come out and say to a guy that you really liked them.. im guessing no as you fear rejection, just the same with guys. \n\nThe only difference is that if a girl just want sex all they need to do is lower their standards and you are sure to find a guy that wants some...\n\nIf you are good looking then the guys will constantly think that you are out of their league...even though you are giving all the right signals.. and the fact that you are a virgin is something to be held until you find someone that you feel is right.. not something to give away to get someone... your first time is something that can effect how you think about sex so you want someone who... er lets say will be gentle as it is not like the movies... you need someone who cares enough to help you warm-up for the main event.\n\nI have been the guy side of what you described.. and found out that some girls that i thought were way out of my league (as i dont think im that hot) did actually like me and would have said yes if i had asked... as the guy side of it i just didnt want to stick my neck out to be shot down by a good looking girl and possibly lose a friend (good looking friends are a bonus as they make you feel good)... i know that sounds wrong and sexiest but you must admit if you;as a girl, have a good looking guy with you, you feel good.\n\ni think i can garentee that if you are good looking girl, you may have to be the one to stick your neck out... as i think the only guys that may actually have enough confidence to ask you will be people who do it alot, if you know what i mean... not someone you could stick with for a while... but you can judge that when they are standing in front of you.\n\nyou dont say how old you are but dont push it..... remeber just like i would find a "nice" girl at a club neither will find a guy... they dont really hang out there.. things like house parties are the best.. you generally know the people, you can be relaxed, you dont have to shout, can get TALKING with a guy and if it goes well you can stand a little closer, you can tell the signals from there.. do they back away or stay close...after a little getting closer you can use the old trick of quiet talking.. this means that you both have to lean in cheek to cheek etc... just dont make the mistake of giving IT away.. stay safe not drunk... \n\ngood luck!!!\nps:if you drink dont over doit and dont leave it unattended..... sorry i dont mean to sound like your dad..
36663
I agree somewhat with Katrina, that men can be intimiated by independent and strong women.  But, as a guy, I would say "put off," not exactly intimidated.  For example, I recently dated a gal who I was very attracted to, although she wasn't stunning- she just "did it" for me.  But, she spent too much time telling me about her degrees from MIT, how she worked for Steve Jobs, etc..  Relationships are about humanness to me- life's little problems, emotionality, sensuality.  I talk shop all day at work, and want something deeper in a relationship.  It just got to a point where I didn't want to hold a conversation with her, since we just couldn't connect.  I guess the point is maybe revisit the guys you like with a deeply human approach, and see how that works.  I agree with the rest of the posters-  it's hard to meet someone you like.  It's true for me, too.  I live in the middle of nowhere.
143015
Just try to be yourself. I've found that women like honesty and are not impressed with pick up lines. Most women just want to talk to a genuine guy who is not looking to get laid right away. Stay away from really good looking women. They are messed up. Remeber ths song "If you want to be happy for the rest of your live, never make a pretty woman your wife". Go out to social scenes like hikes, bike trials, etc. The bars are for losers.
92981
Nope, just desparate.\n\nYou sound like my evil twin dude. Exact same situation except you seem to be stepping up your effort while I really couldn't give a lesser f***. Maybe I'm the evil side.\n\nTo me, the whole thing with women is they expect us to go to all this effort, driven on by our hormones, and all they do is stare at us and make eyes like we're supposed to use that as an excuse to approach them.\n\nRecently, I said *#&$ it. If all women can muster is to stare at me and flip their hair then they can all go to he**. I'll leave it up to circumstance whether I find a wife or not, otherwise I've got better things to do and I don't need to waste time satisfying hormones.\n\nYou don't gotta feel bad about doin' s#*% like this because that's what it comes down to if you want to get anywhere with females. You gotta put it all on the line while they sit there and decide if your doing enough for them, and if you're not; they throw you out like last year's shoes.\n\nI'm certain there's better things to life than females at this age like playing sports, developing skills, getting a solid education and finding a worthwhile career that can be totally satisfying. All I ever hear women talking about is their boyfriends and relationship crap like that. I have no interest in anyone that dependent or shallow. If I happen to come across an independent, self-motivated and self-confident female who has definite goals other than making suckers out of guys like me, then maybe I'll consider changing my tone.\n\nI wish you the best of luck dude.
283024
you remind me of myself so patient,considerate and understanding for the man, but putting yourself last.hmmm you say you want this to work.i think youre fed up and feel like going but youre afraid theres nothing out there for you.let me clue you in ,go and check out a few clubs with a good girlfriend of yours and see just how many people are looking for love.any man would be lucky to have a committed lady like yourself.maybe its time for an ultimatum?up to you though,mean what you say and say what you mean.GOOD LUCK SISTA
401942
Sounds as if you've approached some woman, she's turned you down and you can't accept it.  It isn't "rude and arrogant" to reject your overtures whether they are for friendship or romance. It's her right, just as much as it would be yours if a woman approached you.  Maybe she has plenty of friends and just doesn't have enough time for another one. Maybe she has a boyfriend who takes up all her time.  Or maybe you just don't appeal to her.  It's not the end of the world.  Move on. There are plenty of women who will be quite happy to talk to you, provided you are friendly and undemanding, and don't couch your overtures in such aggressive language.