I have been dating this girl for four years.  Sex has been a part of the relationship sence the start.  For the last few years she has not wanted to have sex very often, say once every few months.  The past few months she tells you that she doesnt really feel comfortable having sex at all for one excuse or another.  I know for a fact that she has not been cheeting on me.  Love with out sex, is it enough?  Understand that I dont mean sex as just the psychal act but the emotional closeness of it.
214709
depends on her age, the older we get, you know, try being romatic dont say hey u want to bang....and start taking off ur clothes.. why not have wine candles and be sweet give her a back rub w/ scented oil and maybe have a small gift for her that may help
241588
why on earth would you get that she's been cheating out of that? she was trying to express to you that she is worried about the lack of sex, she's afraid you are unhappy and unsatisfied with the situation and she wanted you to know that it is because she is tired and not because she doesn't want you sexually. didn't you hear what she said? why are you looking for a hidden agenda? i hope you aren't like that all the time or your marriage is going to be hell. when women talk they say what they mean, just listen and you'll have the answers  you need. she was trying to let you know that she cares about how you feel about this and you hear that she's been cheating???? wtf!
255584
Assess your relationship. See what's changed and what needs to change. Sex and romance almost always go hand in hand with women. DO you talk anymore (bond emotionally), do you go out on dates and do nice things for her or buy her gifts anymore? If not, that's a start. Arrange a special weekend for her. Make her dinner, chill out with her. Buy her something small like flowers and chocolate. Talk to her and ask her what's different. If there's nothing wrong, then maybe she just isn't that into to you, or she's in love with someone else. Best of luck
365540
look I'm a female so I really don't agree with what your trying to do. If you are no longer sexually attracted to your gf then break it off. she has feelings and for you to cheat on her after 1 1/2 yrs you will be pathetic. she trust you and she knows that something has changed that's why she is trying to get the affection from you or put it back into your relationship. sex isn't everything if you don't have someone you love to share it with. I think you really need to think about what your saying and trying to do. If you think your relationship is done then break it off and leave it at that. But if you just want to have sex u and ur gf should do role playing. It will increase the excitement in your relationship and hopefully stray u away from other interest
200782
Sex is a wonderful, and integral part of a marriage. If one party is no longer interested, there IS a reason. Seek counseling and get to the bottom of it!! My (now ex) wife would not, and we had sex 4 times the last 6 months we where together.. Or I should I had sex 4 times, she had it a lot more, so I found out later.. Like I said, something is wrong.. .Depression, cheating, resentments, physical illness, something!
18033
She needs to think this through more clearly. She is certainly going to do something that is new for her. However, she has to have enough trust in her partner for this to work out well and for her to deal with her fears in a way that will have a good outcome for herself and her partner. This is why it really takes a trusting, intimate relationship for sex to work out well.\n\nI would question why she wants to do this right now. "Liking" her isn't a good enough reason for her to have sex, especially since she has waited this long. Her fear of how this will turn out will make her more anxious and more likely to not have a good experience.\n\nShe needs to think this through. She needs to decide if this is really the guy, the time and the place to have her first sexual intercourse. She needs to ask herself if she knows him well enough to trust him with her feelings and her body. If so, she needs to establish some communication with him about this so she can share her fears and so she can also develop some control over this situation.\n\nHaving you to talk to about this will be helpful!
168447
You're being used. She's leading you on. \n\nThe whole purpose of dating and romance becoming bf/gf is so that people who find each other sexually attractive can get together.  If actual sexual contact doesn't follow pretty quickly, what were the two of you doing going on dates and being romantic?  All that dating and romance is not what people who are "just friends" do.\n\nThe payoff for her is that she gets to feel cared about in a romantic way, and probably you are being a gentleman and paying for her share of a lot of stuff.  The payoff for you is ...frustration and a depleted bank balance.\n\nDo you want to be in a relationship with a woman who says "I love you because you won't have sex with me (even though I can tell you really want to.)"\n\nEither she's leading you on, or she has a lot of self-esteem issues.  Neither scenario makes for a good relationship.\n\nA long time ago I heard a man explain to his friends "I don't pay for what I don't sleep with."  At the time I thought it was callous.  But I think it's an appropriate response with women like the one you have, who want you to pay for them, buy them gifts, be their boyfriend in public, sleep at your house evey night . . . but don't want to have sex with you.  Adults are sexual beings with sexual needs.  Once you are an adult, that's what boyfriends and girlfriends and committed relationships are for.  If she's not getting that, then it's time for you to move on.
671036
i think it depends on age and what you want from a relationship.has this person got no interest in sex or is that just sex with you.by you asking this question you have doubts about being with this person, if nothings going  to change and you want it to, maybe you should think about splitting with this person and remaining good friends with them.\nas for me, coz im not the norm and if i really loved them,i would stay with them.
59464
i don't know exactly what casues it. it might be different for each person. but for me it was becasue i was rapped and then the first time that i had consentual sex he didn't know what he was doing and he went to fast and hurt me too much. so i think that is why now i have no sex drive. but it might in her case not be that drastic. some people jsut don't like having sex. there is no reason to be concerned. or maybe she just hasn't found what she likes yet.
291440
Well if she used sex to "get you"....then it must have been pretty good, right?  Just try to re-kindle that.  You know it's in there somewhere, don't let her stop just because you're together now, you still have to make eachother happy and satisfied.  Don't cheat just yet.  Tell her you want her, and you miss the sex...compliment her and build her up a little..she'll be turned on before you know it.
81067
Communicate and then communicate more.  Different people have different ways of feeling secure and loved.  Which does she respond to best?  Gifts?  Doing a favor for her without being asked? Words of assurance and acceptance? \n\nHer way of having her "love tank" filled may be different than yours.  Find out what kind of fuel she needs and I suspect your sex life will improve too.
443981
Women's wants and needs change over time. Life gets busy and sometimes we don't get a chance to tell each other how much we love our spouses, maybe she looks to this kinds of sex as a way for her to feel loved.It would be good for ya'll to spend the day together expressing your love. maybe then she will come around and realize that just because she has had kids and gained a little weight you still desire her and need her.
527491
The fact of sex doesn't mean a thing one way or the other.  If I enjoyed being with her, and if I think I would enjoy being with her again, I'll call.   But if we were just taking care of a biologicial urge, and there was no real connection between us, I would not want to go out with her again.\n\nIn other words, if we really liked each other and ended up in bed together, then that's just great.  But if we didn't have anything in common except the sex, why bother?\n\nJust one man's opinion. Good luck!!
87498
It sounds like he's just really afraid of getting hurt.  I wouldn't say your relationship is only sex though, you've had some great deep coversations and have been friends for a long time.  I definately think there is the potential for a good relationship here.  The only thing is, he needs to be on board.  Don't try to force a relationship if he's not ready.  Talk to him about it, and try to gain his trust.  Sometimes when someone has closed themselves off for that long, they have a hard time opening up again.
152187
Gosh NO!  How desperate are you?\n\nYes she can get bored & tired of it.  If she says no, she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or she's scared of losing you if she sets boundaries, or she's just really immature/insecure.\n\nDoes she never pursue you?  HOW BORING!  Do you not want your girl to show initiative/attraction to you?  Do you only ever want her for sex? Does it not bother you that she doesn't get a chance to show that she wants you because you keep hogging all the attraction communication?  If I were her, I would put you on ice for a month (refuse privileges) until you could see me as a person, not just a humping machine (unless of course I just dumped you right away), and so I could have a chance at the flirting fun too.  \n\nAre you 18?  If not, you should be able to control yourself for at least 48 hours, gee.  \n\n"Please please can I have sex?"  "Oh sure."\nThat's what it sounds like you do twice a day from your question.  D E S P E R A T E men don't keep their women long.\n\nNow, having said all that, you have not given sufficient information to answer your question without assuming the worst possible scenario.  So considering your "every chance" might be once a week if you don't see her much, you might then just want to make sure you communicate that you value her as a person, and if she knows how important sex is to you, she will indicate it through inviting you inside, or    initiating a kiss, or whatever, you should NOT have to beg or ask continually.  Just kiss her, treat her like you want her to feel like the amazing woman she is, and if she is open for more, you will feel it in her body language and you can move in.  Stop asking like a begging dog.
533695
You are not the smothering type like one person above me said. \n\nYour boyfriend sounds like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too.  You nailed it when you said: "To me, I think this seems like he wants to be able to have me around if/when he wants me, but for me not to get mad if I can't have him around when I want him. Like he wants to be with me, and for me to be there for him, but he doesn't want to have to be there for me."\n\nI knew a guy who was sleeping with this girl for a year and a half and he refused to call her his girlfriend..he just told people they're "seeing each other."  This generally means a non-exclusive relationship, and while he was sleeping with her, he was also seeing other girls and possibly sleeping with them too.  \n\nTell him you're not looking to take a step backward and that if he wants space that badly then he can have all the space he wants because you're leaving him.  He doesn't want to be committed to you? Then he shouldn't get sex or anything else from you.  Don't get used.
273684
Sex is important in a healthy relationship but it's not the only thing that makes up a relationship there's also companionship, romance, Communication and mutual love for one another. I do understand how you feel but also try to see things from her shoes and how she might be feeling knowing that she's not satisfying you for as a lover, spouse or just plain other half in a relationship if it is healthy we all want to make the other person happy in any way we can so think about that, think about what dose make you happy in your relationship instead of what doesn't. I hope this helped you. GOOD LUCK!!!