my BEST friend, who i had known since birth, suddenly told me that we were not best friends anymore... and that we never were. that hurt me sooo badly... and for a while i wanted nothing to do with her. Now, we have started to talk again, and i need advice on how to handle the relationship this time around. Should it be causual? Or should I make an effort to become the best of best friends again? I just dont want to end up getting  hurt again... but i miss her so much, and i want her back in my life as a friend again. PLEASE HELP!
217191
people say stupid things at times. you should give her another chance.
170453
I understand what your going thru. My best friend is doing the same thing to me. I called her in November to ask her if she wanted to go out for her b-day and she hasn't called me since. I did find out that she is getting married(through a mutual friend) I have no idea what's going on w/her either. Like an earlier answer said, I'm sure she is probably dealing with something in her life right now that she doesn't feel so great about. Maybe she feels too bad to talk to you about it? Maybe she thinks you'll judge her. I would just do what I did. I called my best friend a couple of weeks back and left her a message on her cell. I told her that I didn't know what was going on but I still loved her and cared about her very much. We've been friends for 13 years and I have never judged her for anything she has done in the past and she can come to me with anything. After you've done that, all you can do as back off and give her some space. If she's truly the friend that you think she is(and like I think my best friend is) she'll come around. Just let her know that you are worried about her and want to make sure she's ok. If she continues to be this way, maybe you're better off without her. That's what I've decided.
320348
Dont says its your fault unless it really was. Lets-just-be friends.. um.. ok, if you seriously think thats going to workout. Oy.. third option is so out of the question. Girl, the past is the past. What happens,happens. You gotta move on, there are plenty of more fish in the sea. Believe me.
423743
talk to her in person, whether or not it's awkward or emotionally filled. \n\nyou were best friends for a reason... moving in together sometimes strains those relationships, but it shouldn't be the end of the friendship. \n\nshe is worth it, so are you. so try to reach out to her this way. if her heart softens, great. if not, at least you tried and you should keep the invitation of friendship open for her to give her some time to mull on it. once you've done everything you could to make things right, you will be able to walk away knowing you did what you could.\n\ntell her you are sorry of what happened between you two, you care about her and love her, and in order for you two have any friendship to salvage- you both need to live separately. it'll take a while, and things may never be exactly the same (and you definitely don't have to have her as a BEST friend, especially if you have lost trust in her), but time WILL heal things. It will be awkward/difficult to do, but it has the best possible outcome. good luck and God bless
614950
I went through the same thing with my best friend. She did a complete 180, started doing drugs having sex etc. and it turned into a huge fight. I confronted her about it and told her how pissed it made me. We didn't talk for the next six months. Then slowly we began to hang out again. We are now talking and hanging out but it will never be the friendship we once had. You need to confront your friend then ignore him completely until your ready to reestablish a friendship on YOUR terms. Like I said it won't ever be what it was but you can at least save something.
126602
Your heart knows best. You need to dowhat ever helps the healing begin for you. I have looked up articles on the net that discussed if you should remain friends. Most said that it doesn't work out because the feelings don't go away. It said to stay busy. go shopping, go for walks, volunteer, get out there and life again.
586795
the first question you need to ask yourself is if you are ready to start getting over her. it's no use wanting to get over her if you aren't willing to...thinking that there is still hope for the two of you.\nyou never 'get over' someone you love in your terms. you just slowly forget them and slowly, the hurt goes away. there is no exact remedy to these problems. the only reasonable remedy is time and lots of it.\nas for your best friend, maybe she's just as confused as you...not wanting to ruin a friendship that took longer to build then a relationship between you. you need to tink which is better for the both of you, staying friends, being together, or forget each other totally.
546579
Your old friend is probably feeling betrayed by you.  She thought that she was doing a good thing by being nice to the 'new girl' and in turn has lost her best friend.  \n\nyou probably need to make it known that she still means as much to you as before and that you dont want another person to come between you.  Good luck and let me know what happens
23654
If someone is not your best friend anymore that means that either you or he/she or both have changed (assuming there is not a discussion that has made your relationship to grow apart).So if now you have different interests, or have that sharing time with other friends is more amusing, then try to feed those friendships. If you really feel like you still want this friend to be a very close friend, talk it out and see why youa re becoming distant from one the other. Sometimes friends dont keep in touch for a while, but usually they come back when they realize they feel comfortable around.
390935
Sadly and embarrassingly enough - I know that situation and have been on the girl side. I loved my new bf and just could bear the fact that my ex is just not noticing and forgetting me. Stupid enough I have been to start calling him and even meeting with him saying that I want his friendship. But really I just wanted him to be mine again even though I didn't really need him!!!\n\nBe careful women are fools!! It might not be the same situation, but based on what you said and what I've had it really looks like it!
274987
You know, we are in the same situation. You are still considered bestfriends. You see, it doesn't mean that if you go with other persons or friends you don't like your bestfriend. Think of the times you spent together and all the memories you have shared with each other. of course, your bestfriend will miss you. you know there is really a stage in friendship wherein they're kinda bored with each other. maybe you can talk to your bestriend and eventually you can resolve this problem. hope I've helped you... ^_^
333406
you didn't say how old you are but i'm guessing you are pretty young. friendships sometimes have ups and downs, if she has found a new best friend then maybe you should too. there really isn't much else you can do, except maybe talk to her and ask her about it.
152980
Let it go.  Let him go.  Your setting yourself up to be hurt.  Don't get in the middle of that situation because it sounds like it's far from over.  He sounds like he has to deal with his issues with her.  He may get back with her or he may not but it doesn't matter he can't give you what you want from him right now.  It's better to continue being friends if you can.\n\nHopefully you can because friendship is so important.
254815
She is jealous and insecure.  You seem to be having success that is eluding her.  So she strikes back by being mean and trying to diminish your accomplishments.\n\nIf you want to give her another chance but not be hurt any more, you will have to tell her that her current behavior is unacceptable.  You don't need friends like that.\n\nBut if you've decided that she is not the kind of friend that you don't want to have, you will have to be honest with her and tell her that you don't need friends who are constantly critical and mean.  You owe her the truth for the sake of your past friendship.\n\nWhatever you decide is really up to you.  But if you just want to know why she did all this, it's jealousy and insecurity on her part.
470777
If you are telling your ex that you love her, then the best friend shouldn't mean anything to you. If you are having your doubts, forget even trying to mend things with your ex, and just go for the best friend. Just know that trying to go after an ex's best friend is a REALLY sensitive thing, but if both of you feel that way for each other, it could work.
150636
I would say the best thing to do is to be straight forward and honest, though that's the harder choice. I would contact them or even wait till they come around wanting something and tell them how you feel. " Hey I thought we were pretty close but over time it seems like you come around only when you need something. I don't mind helping you to some extent but when we get together lets do things we can enjoy and is fun." Their response will tell you what kind of friends they are..... Do to them what they are doing to you and see how long they stick around or if they have this talk with you. A friend who wants a relationship with you will work to keep it together and healthy.
55801
Let go of the hurt...it's difficult to learn to accept something you don't want.. but sometimes we have to learn to do just that. Sometimes we have to be our own best friend-do what you need to do for you to help you get through the tough spots..what would you advise your best friend to do in a situation like this?...Keep in mind, all the while your guts are tied up in a knot..she has no idea-don't give her that kind of power over you and your life. The time we have to walk this world is so short-there's a woman out there who can love you the way you deserved to be loved..if you're so preoccupied by this other woman when the Right one comes around-you may not be able to see her...and That, my friend, would be a terrible thing..hang in there..