i went to a party a week ago everyone was between 23-40yrs old and there were about 20 people there. a couple brought their daughter along she's about 1-2 years old (walking) and at one point during the night she fell off a step and landed on her bottom and i was the closest person to her but i don't know what came over me but didn't pick her up. every1 turned around (including her parents) and was watching n i just stood there like an idiot and after a lonng few seconds of me not doing anything and just looking at the little girl and thinking "should i pick her up?" another one of my friends pushed passed me and picked her up. \n\ni don't know the little girl or her parents but i know in a normal situation i would have gone to the rescue of a child thats fallen over, i normally love kids and shes adorable. and i was so embarrassed that soon after when the family was leaving i wanted to go up to them and say how sorry i was and i didn't now what came over me.
212998
I dont think anybody at that party thought that ur behaviour was bad. u were just confused abt picking up the child. and people probably must hv forgotten abt it now.if u r still upset u can probably make it up to some other kid  by being kind to him or her or playing with them etc
401826
I'm ok, and I had an awful childhood.\nGranted, It's taken years to get myself balanced and to be able to accept my past. But from the day I went into care at 14, I decided I didn't want to be like the others around me... I had a rocky lot of teenage years. but who doesn't?\nI am now 24 and Mother to a beautiful 4 and a half year old girl.\nAnd even if I say so myself, I am a good Mum, my daughter is polite well mannered happy and loved. I think that one of the reasons I have done well with her is because, I swore that I would never do to her what my Mum did to me... I had to live with the consequences and it wasn't pleasant!\nSure, I'm not completeley un-affected by my past and even now I get stages where I don't understand why, or feel upset or betrayed. But I DO understand and know, that I will be the best Mother I can for my little one. And feel lucky that I was shown how bad things could be, so that I can break a cycle, and give my Daughter the future she deserves.
468021
That has happened to me before. With my ex-boyfriend. And boy did i learn from that mistake. Sometimes we can't ask others for advice on these things. We just have to live it through and learn from it. If you've got some friends who will help you pick you up when you fall down then you'll probably recover eventually. I know i did.
72643
She's having a hard time accepting that her daughter is growing up. Obviously if you will be at a public restaurant, it's not like all of you guys are going to throw her on top of a table, strip her clothes off and pull a chain on her. Her mom is just trippin. At 14, me and my friends hung out at the roller rink together without adult supper vision, but, duh, the people who WORK there were adults. And I was ALWAYS the only girl hangin out with all of the guys. I just got along better with guys than girls at that age. She's making more out of it than is really there. Funny thing is, I grew up to like women. So, for all she knows, her daughter might be gay when she grows up! Boys think about sex a lot, but it's not ALL they think about. She needs to realize this and get a grip. Good luck.
159123
You know it's not your fault. Don't let people tell you it is. Children at the age of 4 cannot cause anything bad to happen - it is the adults in charge of the children who tend to do the bad things (as in your situation). Don't listen to them, try and rise above it.
220958
I'm very sorry for your experience.  Very few people have to go through what you had to do.  You tried your best but death is part of live.  No person knows the day they will die but we are guaranteed it will happen.  It is too bad this person died in your arms but you cannot take the responsibility for it.  \nSometimes when I see young people die, I feel that God did not want that particular person to go through the trials and tribulations that most of us must endure.  Life can be cruel and sometimes unbearable.  And then again, life can be a joy and worth living every single moment.  It is entirely up to each individual.  \nI am fortunate to celebrate my 70th birthday this coming Wednesday.  I have been through tough times and some memorable times too.  My motto now is:\n"You came into this world crying and others were smiling.  Life your life so that when you die, others will be crying and you will be smiling".\nI hope and pray that this little girl is smiling right know in the loving arms of Jesus.
171366
When I was 14 I saw a kid beating up a chubby kid.  His friends were laughing at the chubby kid(big boned  lol)and they were hitting him.  All of these kids were skinny.  So I just couldnt take it anymore and started to seperate them.  I pushed the other kids off of him and started to swing some punches but they ran.  The kid that was getting bullied thanked me and said they always beat me up.  I felt so angry at those kids.  3 months later I saw the chubby kid again and he said that those skinny kids never hit him or talk to him anymore.\n\nI felt so happy :)  I felt GOOD inside and I still feel good!\n\nEDIT: Oh sorry I didnt see  "cultural" in your post.  But this story still kinda relates to this. I guess....
79591
I'm a 38 year old Male Married with an 8 year old Daughter.\n\nI never had your problem,BUT,I would always think "in my mind" that my "Friends" would let me hang out with them to give them someone they can make fun of in the group.\n\nwell I'm still alive....even to this day, even if they are talking about me SO WHAT! how many of your x so called "friends" will be around 5,10 even 20yrs from now?\n\nFocus on school or a sport, whatever.\nTake care of yourself first,even your friends come second.\n\nand don't forget what goes around comes around...one day they will try that with the wrong person and they will recieve the same treatment they are giving you.\n\nin this world SOMEONE is going to be better than you/them,whatever it may be. they might be big shots now. BUT when they get out into the real world,their going to be very small fish in a BIG pond.\n\nI know it's easy for me to just say forget it don't worry.\nBUT it's realy true. Love and respect yourself and you will be just fine.\n\nTake care & good luck
548872
Hi hon!\nThis happened to a friend of mine also.  He was 19, had cancer.  Was on some serious medication, but was getting by.  Then we all stopped hearing from him.  Visited his house, but his mom said he had died.  But his shoes were in the hallway.\nSo we all grieved, and moved on.  \nYears later he showed up on one of my friends doorstep.  His mom had told all his friends that he had died.  What a bitch.\nMaybe he didn't want people to see him like that.  Maybe his mom thought his friends would stress him out.  I don't know.  All I do know is we aren't friends with him anymore, we wish him well, but what a terrible thing to do to your "friends".\nSo I shared a little something with you there didn't I?  Take it for what it is, an experience.  Perhaps you aren't getting the whole story either!\nHave a great week...
600211
First of all I'm assuming only kids saw you in that embarassing moment....so it could have been worse.\n\nSecondly, when are you going to buy a sports bra?...to prevent future episodes.\n\nThirdly, tell you're daughter you are sorry...you'll look like a bigger person in her eyes (no pun intended).
476561
Mom,\n\nUse this as a life lesson ... some times people can let ya down ... but try not to let get you down.  Explain to her thats why doing things that you enjoy is so important ... if the other folks don't show you can still have a great time.   After all some folks may not skate as well and be embarissed, perhaps they grew a  huge "Zit" or perhaps they had a better offer .... what ever just be more choosy the next time you wanna invite the same people and always be prepared if they miss the bus.\n\nBe happy in your self and not too dependent on other folks for your personal enjoyment!\n\nYou Rock Mom !
189599
You did impose upon the hostess.  The best thing to do would have been to go to collect your daughter and mention the situation and why she must leave early.  This would have given the hostess an opportunity to offer an invitation to your friends daughter without feeling it was foisted upon her.  If she did not offer then collect your daughter with the promise of specially recognizing the birthday girl at a later date.  Since this has already past I would take the advice of the other answer of sending a gracious thank you and invite the hostess to a dinner, or perhaps even a night free of children (babysit for her) since she had so many plus one!
646501
I know most people would have a really good memory... But there is a reason that this is the last thing I can remember. I think I was about 5-6 years old, I was at Old Orchard Beach in Maine, with my family for our annual summer trip there, and me and my cousin were on the ferris wheel, well don't ask me just quite how this happened, but I guess I was leaning over as the operator was lifting the bar up and over our heads, well as I was leaning over and waving to my dad with a huge smile on my face, I leaned a little too far. We were still about 2 feet up in the air, and just like that, I got tipped out of the ferris wheel seat. I was a little banged up to begin with, but to add onto that, I had split my head not only on one of the wires, but also on a few pieces of metal beside the wire. All I can really remember after that was my older sister Michelle, was coming towards me with Fried Dough she had bought for me, and she just looked at me in total awe, (while me not know what the hell was going on) , and just dropped her food and ran towards me. My dad was the first one who actually helped me up, while the operator just sat there in shock!  After that I don't really remember much. But when I ask my dad now, he told me when he went to go help me up, he put his arm under my legs then placed his hand on my head to steady me, then looked at his hand and at the same time, the both of us saw blood, and I mean not just a little blood, then i passed out. The next thing I remember was being in the ER and the doctor telling me to count backwards from 100... my dad said I barely even got to ninety-nine, and I was out. Well to end my mumbling on and on about this, I had 12 stitches put in my head, and the rest of my vacation I spent in the room, with my dad, while everyone else (my mother, 2 sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins) went lounging on the beach.\n\nNo, to this day I refuse to go on a ferris wheel.
56413
been there, done that.  your asking for a lot of grief.  just the age situation with the children is a burdon, not to mention the difference between your "going to be" and you.  you yourself said your not mature enough to make a decision...let that alone be a guide for you.  first time marrages are tough enough these days, let alone the second time around ones.  i have had experiance with taking on "the others" kids and it is very difficult to relate to them, win them over, have commonalities with them and just simply get close to them.  and if they are close to you in age i'd think there would be little for them to look up to.  kids are hard to win over when your trying to "replace" their mom or pop.  I'd think hard on this one before I jumped into the fire.  good luck.
385748
When I read this for a minute I was trying to think if one of my friends was asking the question. Lol. This is my mom! I have two kids, and she has only watched them a handful of times, and that is when I ask, like I have a doctors appt. ect. This was EXTREMELY hurtful when I had kids, because she too spends more time with her nieces, which are older. Anyway, I finally talked with her about it and she just explained that younger kids aren't her strong point. When they get older they are easier to care for and won't make one so flustered about getting into things. I've just learned to deal with it. I would advise you're friend to talk to her mom about it, I wrote a long three page letter, that wasn't rude, it was humble and got alot of things out in the open, that was probably one of the hardest things I've had to do. But in the long run, things have been SO much smoother between us now. And she understands that it would be helpful for me to get out sometimes with my husband. Anyway, hope this helps. Remember she can't be defensive and rude about it, her mom is not obligated to watch them. But I've been there and done that. Good Luck!
475864
It will get better. Same thing happened to me same week the youngest turned 18 See ya later!!! It happens nothing you can do about it. Keep yourself as distant from it all as you can if not you will never heal. If the children still want a relationship with you then be there for them.. Stay busy get lots of friends maybe a good time to find a good church.. Your free to do what you want take advantage of it make yourself have fun start your quest to find that one that is your best friend and wants to be with you for you not because you have a pay check.....Good luck
137999
Hi Kels\nI'm glad you're getting better, and at 18 you really do have the rest of your life to move on and make a better life for yourself.\n  I had quite a turbulent, abusive past, and one of the things a therapist said to me at one stage, was to forgive myself.  i thought that was odd, but then I realised that all the time I had been living through this abuse and neglect I was only a child.  There was nothing I could do, I was dependent on the adults around me and not responsible for their actions.\nWhat she advised me to do was to see this little child, picture her in my mind and to hug her.  It's difficult to get there, but sooner or later you can do that.  You can give yourself the hug you wanted and didn't get, you can tell that little girl that this isn't her fault, you can give her the beginnings of self esteem and self worth that she needed then.  And you can forgive yourself and let go.\nIt works.  Once you can see that whatever happened in your life to make you lack self esteem  was something you had no control over and that letting go of the past is in your hands, you can begin to make plans to release the child and become the adult.\n  As for the shyness, that's a hard one sometimes.  Society puts such great store on getting out there and living the life, and partying and being in the thick of it, and really, some of us are just not meant to live our lives that way.  \n  Maybe think about joining a club, a small group that participates in something you enjoy, or even something you think you might enjoy but have never done.  It's amazing how many people do this and imagine everyone there is going to be brimming with confidence and then during the first coffee break you all discover you were all shaking in your boots and terrfied.\nStart small.  Set yourself a goal, something achievable, something you know you can do, if you just put in a tiny effort, and as your confidence increases you'll find it becomes so much easier to do the bigger things.  And sometimes there's nothing wrong with just saying, 'I'm feeling a little shy ...' people often prefer that to someone loud and arrogant taking over everything.\nYou can do it.  Good luck :)