He already did time for attacking me. I moved a few states over and he has found me again. I can't fight as hard as I did the first time because I am already fighting cancer. The police are watching my house, but so is the stalker. He knows our schedules and I am terrified. We went today to buy a gun and we have a waiting period before we can bring the gun home. I have notified our nieghbors so that they will lock up their houses more. They have seen him as well. I would greatly appreciate any ideas. I even had a gastric bypass to change my appearance so that he wouldn't reconize me. I had nothing in my name, until my son bought me a car in March for my birthday. I wasn't thinking when I registered it. it was a couple of weeks later and there he was again in front of my house. We live in the country and the police said to make sure that he is inside the house if I shoot him. There has to be another way to feel safer.
211557
ok well listen, set him up and wait till hes on your property, keep your cool, and shoot him dead, if hes ur land its legal, especially considering the circumstances, listen then police are of no help in these situations, and u want something done right, do it yourself!  honestly, just practice shooting at a range, wait for the right oportunity, and let him have it...people like him have no place on this earth!  god would understand, beleive it...i mean, id shoot him whether god understood or not ur dealing with a repeat offender scumbag, end his life, end your fears, and start living again yourself!
257087
Been there, done that - not an iota of fun. The guy is basically stalking you. My suggestion is the following:\n\n1) File a report with the local police. Even though they may not do anything about it yet, at least it will be in their papers should your ex's abuse continue and/or escalate. \n\n2) Gather ALL evidence. Set up a new e-mail account, get a new phone-number - every measure necessary to restrain his options of being able to contact you. Nonetheless, keep the old phone-number - but let it go directly to the answering-machine. Save the messages - as they will prove your claim if you are forced to drag him to court and (or get a restraining order. Also save all e-mails he sends you for the same reason as above. If he sends you gifts, you shall keep them - whatever he gives you, keep it. This is all about gathering evidence.\n\n3) Tell people around you not to tlak with him due to his stalking. He will pursue alternative means of getting go you, and using your friends and family as a source of information is fully justified in his mind.\n\n4) NEVER EVER talk with/to him - regardless how tempting it may be. For a stalker, even a "F**k off" will be interpreted as a positive gesture. He will interpret "Leave me alone" as a "Oh, I want you to chase me" and so on. If you give in to the temptation once, he will know that it only takes more perservance on his side to get you to answer again and again and again.\nAlso, never tell him what you intend to do unless he leaves you alone. In the event that going to the police does not produce immediate results, your stalking ex will view your plans and intentions as nothing but empty threats.\n\n5) Tell your current boyfriend how much the ex is bothering you. Your ex is currently attempting to drive a wedge between you and your new BF as the ex cannot see you with another man. Any man for that matter except himself. He desires comlete control of your life in every and any aspect, and you do NOT want to subject yourself to that.\nAs for your current BF, if he is not willing to support and help you through this, then he is not worth keeping. Sorry for being so harsh sounding, but it is sadly true. If he loves and cares about you, then he will stay on your side - regardless.\n\n6) Find out if there are any support-groups for stalking-victims in your area - and you will find that you are not alone. The internet also provides different fora that are worth-while looking into - especially what the legal side is concerned.\n\nI broke up with the ex from hell 1 1/2 years ago, and he is still stalking me, thankfully not to the same extent as previously, but I receive e-mails (I changed phone-numbers and got a new e-mail address) from him once or twice a month, and it is still bloody annoying and scaring.\n\nGood luck, this will take time and toil - but know that you are not alone in this hellish situation. I feel for you.
481110
I would run not walk to a self help or in house anger control center and start treatment today. \nThe weapons charge (depending on the state) would be the problem. stalking is now a very sever crime. Menacing? Good luck, sounds serious to me. \nGet an attorney you'll need one.
217604
He is your son...call the cops and child protection services,unless you have something to hide?
578474
The man is MENTALLY ILL and could seriously hurt you and your children! Stay away from him, get a restraining order, tell the police about your problem and let them handle it. I don't know if they'll be able to force him to get help unless he commits a crime, but you can at least make sure that you and your children are not his first victims!
211429
if u have proof opt for an orer of protection because when restraining orders a violated they tend to not do much about it. but at least file a police resport and keep it with you for proof of the stalker. that way later when something goes down at least you have something to show all the steps you took in court.
178114
Good lord I'm sorry you are going through this!  The authorities sound lame in your town...for shame on them!!\n\nI would suggest contacting the following in the largest city in your state because I'm sure they have the following organizations there:\n--abused women's service and other such orgs that help women in trouble( even if you haven't been abused yet) they can lead you in a good direction.  ask them about your legal rights and what to do if you are not being taken seriously.\n--teen and young adult groups that do the same\n--church services that can help with this(find a progressive not backwoods church..big city)  \n\n--civil right/liberties lawyers or free legal aid groups and ask them to advocate for you because you are not getting help for this. \n\nCan you talk to the chief of police?  speak honestly with them about how you are afraid for your life and that if something happened and nothing was done then it would not only be tragic but on the backs of the police departments lack of responsibility.  if they do nothing then in a sense they are enabling this creep to harass you.  \n\n--check out some copwatch groups.  groups that keep eyes on cops so they themselves are lawabiding and actually do the job they are supposed and not abuse the law.  again, civil liberty groups would know.  that way you can inform them of the lack of response by the cops so that if anything else happens you have proof and then more leverage. \n\nThere has got to be some source of support group or legal advice for something like this...what state do you live in??  try to answer back and I will look up some info for you?  this is serious and could get ugly if you don't have support.  \nJust watch your back and stay with people as often as you can so you are not vulnerable. If you don't have a roommate, get one!  Lights, dogs, security systems-whatever you need to feel safe in the meantime as you get help.   \n\n*last resort: Worse come to worse if no one takes you seriously after you try everything get some guy friends/brothers and well...have them pay him a visit some stormy night.  Nicely.  Capishe?\n\noh can you find out if he has a record or is on parole?  through the freedom of information act you can find this out.  if he does, he could be in some violation and you could anonymously report him or have him returned to wherever he crawled out from under..\n\nFor now, write back where you live and I can help you do research online.  I'm willing.  \npeace.\n\nHERE IS SOME INFO I FOUND FOR YOU: \nJUST CALL THEM AND TELL THEM YOUR SITUATION AND INSIST ON GETTING HELP.  TELL THEM YOU DON'T WANT TO END UP A STATISTIC.   \nhttp://www.aardvarc.org/dv/states/arkdv.shtml\nhttp://www.angelfire.com/me/Marshamellow/call.html\nhttp://www.usdoj.gov/ovw/\n\nTHESE SHOULD HELP FOR NOW.  JUST BE PROACTIVE, GET ON IT AND DON'T WAIT FOR OTHERS TO SAVE YOU.  WOMEN NEED TO LEARN TO SAVE THEMSELVES.  AND THAT'S OK.  REACH OUT BUT ALSO RELY UPON YOURSELF.  YOU COULD GET A CELL PHONE AND JUST SAVE YOUR GRANNIES PHONE FOR OUTGOING CALLS ONLY?? OR GET ANOTHER PRIVATE UNLISTED NUMBER AND AGAIN, LEAVE YOUR GRANNIES FOR OUTGOING ONLY.  HEY GOOD IDEA@!  TRY THAT.  \nMAKE SURE ALL YOUR LIGHTS AND LOCKS WORK WELL AROUND YOUR HOUSE AND LIKE THE OTHER GIRL SAID, GET A STUN GUN AND MAKE SURE YOU GET TRAINING ON IT.  DON'T WANT TO SHOCK YOURSELF! \nGOOD LUCK!!!
392096
You may want to check your local and state laws to find out what actually is considered "harrassment" and "stalking".  Are there distance requirements?  Does the person have to threaten physical action or actually come in contact with his intended target?  I would recommend that you get caller id and also make sure you screen all phone calls with an answering machine so you have a record of his activity.  Make sure that the people that you are in touch with on a regular bais - child care workers employers, family - know what is going on.  keeping this type of thing secret can give the stalker an unfair advantage.\nBe safe and please, Please do not take matters into your own hands.  The law in any state does not protect vigilantes.  Only if you life is in imminent danger do you have any ground to stand on in defense.
100941
I've been in a very similar situation, having to protect a journalist that puts a negative spin on everything we do.  We hated that journalist, but when bullets started to fly, it's not a matter of love and hate, it's a matter of survival.  You protect them simply because it's the right thing to do.  Good luck to your son, I hope he returns safely with all my heart.
470438
Definitely think about a restraining order.  That's probably a good idea, and by the way, you might consider keeping your cool..Just a thought.  It will look good if you guys have to go to court for any reason.  Otherwise, they might throw that in your face.  Be careful.  If he starts causing problems, call the cops immediately.  Where I live, that doesn't really help, but at least you would have given it a shot.
627036
I'm sorry you are going through this.....My oldest did the same thing....he stole everything he could pawn or sale for money to keep his habit supported. I had to put a lock on my bedroom door to keep him out. And even that didnt work for long....He stole from his grandparents...friends....neighbors. I had people calling me all the time about the things he was doing. It started when he was about 14 years old....and he was in and out of trouble for so long. We had him to doctors and therapists.....he got put in juvenile centers.....county jail.....and finally did 3 different prison sentences..all of this was in the time frame of 11 years......after the second time in prison...I told him if he got in trouble again...then I would not come and see him...its too hard to watch your child like that....he got so used to that institutional life....that he couldnt funtion in the real world. Now he is out again....and seems to be doing good.......He is working and living about 4 hours away....we talk on the phone almost daily.....He lives with my brother..his uncle......He seems to really want to make it this time...and God willing ...he will....Be strong......tough love is just that....but I think its tougher on the parent than the child.....My prayers are with you and your child...
25109
Hey little buddy! Sounds like you stepped into a big bucket of stuff there. Just goes to show it dosen't pay to try and be nice. This guy must be some kind of freak. The sad part is I'm sure he has done this same thing before. With a nut like this all it takes is a simple HI from a pretty girl and they automaticaly hear "Take me now, I want you for ever and I'll bear your demon seed" What's even sadder than that is he may end up hurting somebody. I'm glad you realized that and ran. The guy needs a  12 step program to stop the voices that are not there. Oh---The only time you should have to put your life on hold is if you have children. They would come first no matter what. Otherwise no man or no one can tell what you will or can't do. And for gods sake, don't be givin' out your danm phone number or address. Be safe and happy
40725
I am not a soldier...anymore.  I was active duty army for 2 1/2 years and also did a tour in Iraq.  I am now a soldier's wife.  My husband just left a week ago.  I know what you are going through.  You need to understand though that when he says he doesn't want you to worry...that's the truth.  I told my husband before he left that I don't want to know if he gets fired upon, has to shoot anyone, etc.  I would rather just stay in a lovely state called denial. LOL  When I was in Iraq I made that mistake of telling my mom when I was shot upon...I never told her about another incident.  I didn't want her to worry. (Keep in mind...is was there in the beginning)  Give him some time...hopefully he will start having some stories that he cares to share soon.  I am am yahoo messenger quite a bit...my email address is in my profile.  Keep your head up...good luck!
204087
yes, you will be okay.\n\nBUT it's time to make some serious changes in your life... no more of the same old stuff you've been doing.  MAKE it work.\n\n- a domestic violence hotline is the best place to work through all your specific options.  800-799-7233 (National), or go to http://www.feminist.org/911/crisis.html to find something local for you.\n\n- get away from this guy for good.  two days from now you should have a restraining/protection order against this guy which keeps him at least 500 feet away.  once that's in place, if he finds you immediately take out your cell phone and dial 911, scream if you need to.  don't tell him any of this, just do it.  just think to yourself "i've had enough, that's it, i'm done with him forever, and i don't need any explanations or apologies".  no exceptions.\n\n- it sounds like you need to work on some stuff inside yourself also... and that's a good thing.  nobody's perfect, and don't worry too much about right or wrong... but it sounds like it would be good for you to get a new lifestyle that "works" better for you.  don't just escape, ESCAPE!\n\n- if you need something drastic to change your life, maybe the peace corps or something very involved and out of the country would give you a chance to figure out what you want out of life.\n\nyou have a right to be happy - don't let some miserable prick take that away from you.\n\nyour "i found myself" post in your 360 page is the right way of thinking.  stick to it.  don't take the pom back
184986
Write him as often you can and say a prayer for him everynight.  I can guarantee you that he is over there thinking of you, and knows that what he is doing is going to protect you and your family in the long run.  Don't worry he'll be home safe.  God Bless.
520369
call and report him to the police.  let them know how often he is calling and how scared you are.  im sure unless youve done something to really piss someone off its just someone getting their sick thrills but definitely keep your doors locked and try not to be alone
144789
If he's stalking you, get a restraining order. The laws of domestic/dating violence apply to everyone! \nTo get out of the convention, though...I would simply put it about that you and your partner are going on a romantic mini-vacation that weekend....spur of the moment, super romantic trip to the shore...whatever you two would be most likely to do. Or you could say that you have the flu. But I would opt for the romantic vacation version. Hope this helps!