I have been with this guy who is a little older for a year and a half now.  He is really an amazing person and I do care and love him. He trusts me so much and there is so much passion and love there. However, a past boyfriend has come back from the war in Iraq and after two years there is this amazing bond.  It is like we took off like no time had passed.  We even fooled around a little bit.  When I told him I couldnt have sex with him he wanted to know why I was with a guy so much older and that we could start our life together like we had planned back when we were 18 and dating.  I am so confused.  I really love my current boyfriend.  Why do I have these feelings with my ex?????
199900
You are falling into a typical relationship trap.  People always find it easy to fall back in with an old relationship because you share certain memories and events from your past with them that you don't have with your current relationship.  Plus you tend to usually blank out all the bad stuff from that previous relationship and the good stuff is almost magnified.  The thing is that in reality you two are no longer the same two people you were back then.  If you have an actual relationship together it will not be the same as it was.  Right now your in a good relationship but you've probably been in it long enough now that it has lost a little bit of its excitement as all long term relationships tend to do.  Your ex is back and right now it is exciting and new and gives you a rush but remember, that won't last.  You need to look at your life and what you want in your future.  Are you willing to give up this current relationship to have a relationship with your ex that may or may not work out?  Which person and relationship is really best for you in the long term?  Remember, new relationships are always exciting at first but the difficult thing is finding someone for the long haul.
412451
I was with my last boyfriend for 3 and a half years when I met my current boyfriend. I knew very quickly that I wanted to be with my current boyfriend, so I had to break my ex's heart to make myself happy. (I've been with my boyfriend now for more than a year) It hurt my ex like hell and I felt terrible doing it, but I knew that I wanted to be with someone else. So I had to do it for myself even though I hurt someone I cared about in the process. Just be careful and tactful in the way you say things. Make sure you don't sound like it's all his fault.
176376
I would say those are natural feelings.  We all need fulfillment to some degree, and from what you descirbed, I wouldn't say that it sounds like you're thinking about enging in any type of experimentation that would be more harmful physically or emotionally.  Unlike other types of fantasies, since you had a previous relationship with him, you have more of a frame of reference to work from.  In time you may meet someone else, and these feelings might shift accordingly as you move on from him.  For now, it shouldn't pose any significant problems.
415818
I know how it feels, I am in a relationship now with the best guy i could ever be with we have been together almost 5 years, and I still find myself wondering about my first love. Me and my first love were together for only 2 and 1/2 years and he was my first everything. I know deep down i still have feelings for him and i always wonder about him. I know i shouldnt be doing that, but i cant help it, i guess he still has some place deep in my heart. As for you i think that you still have a special place in your heart for this guy. Dont let it bother you i think its all part of how special this guy was for you, just be thankful and happy that he is having a great life, and that he is married be happy for him. I am sure that he probably still thinks about you as much as you do him. Maybe you never know what holds in the future. SO dont lose hopes of this guy and dont lose hopes on finding another guy. god only knows whom your soulmate is. I wish the best for you. god bless you
49937
You feel that you love this older woman the question is, is it love or purely obession to something about her. I feel that it could be love. Most younger men are attracted to older women.\n\nIm 32 and I know that when I divorced several years ago I had alot of male friends alot of younger ones. Seemed like the younger ones would find me no matter what. I did date a guy who was 18 at the time and I was 25 it was a beautiful realationship but I knew that he needed to finish college and have a chance at life. He didnt need my life not that my life was bad!! I just was 25 and was divorced with 3 children! But my ex cheated on me all the time and I finally found out and wasnt going to tolerate it!! Anyhow this guy needed to expierence life without me. Shortly after we split up about six months I met another man who I have been married to now for five years!!\n\nAll Im saying is Im sure that she hears what you are saying but is probably not wanting to pursue anything serious cause she wants to give you space and time to live your life. If I can be of any futher help just email. Good Luck and keep us posted.
623290
I know that in past experience, its really tempting and persuading, if an ex calls you and asks you for a night of passion! ;) but... your relationship has ended, and it seems to me like she is trying to manipulate you in the process?\n\nShe is already with her partner, and so is not only abusing his trust and loosing respect for herself-but if you are the third spoke in her relationship (even if this is just "sex") then, surely this will make you no better than her?\n\nI split up with my ex over 9 months ago, and i have since been in a long term relationship with my current partner for the past 8 months. I was with my ex for 3 and half years, and all he did was cheat on me with various other women! We too had a great sex life-but, id much rather a realtionship that is based on trust and respect anyday (plus great sex is a bonus ;) ) My ex contacted me near enough every day for 6 months asking me for sex, but not once did i say yes, cos i love my partner and respect him. She doesnt have respect fro anyone??\n\nPerhaps, as your ex knows that you are single, that she is taking you for advantage! Its possible that she doesnt want you to be with anyone else-as she knows that you probabley wont be, if you are seeing her? She also  thinks that she can get away with two timing both of you (even with your consent!) what kind of person does this?\n\nI know its tempting but you have to ask her to stop calling you and asking for sex. Its low! And someone with such low morals, is obviousley someone to be wary off.... STI's spring to mind? You also have to ask yourself-are you the only one shes trying to cheat with?\n\nIn the end, what goes around comes around-my ex cheated on me with 5 other women, and ended up catching STI's!! So it serves him damn right lol!\n\nAnd why did your relationship end? Obviousley for a good reason! \n\nGood luck!! \n\nx
525728
I'd be cautious with the old flame, sounds like he's scared of commitment.  You could renew a friendship, but keep it VERY casual.  You still need alittle time to see if you trust he's telling the truth and to see where this new relationship is going.  One of these fellows might be the ONE for you, you just can't tell yet.  If I was in your situation, I would hold the old one as a friend right now (you already know what kind of lover he is--and you do not want to cheat on your new one)  and explore the new one to it's fullest.  The old one let you go first.  If he really cares for you as he professes, he will wait with/for you.  You need alittle more time to sort things out, and this could test the old ones mettle.  He could be rebounding from a crushing relationship and just be looking for a familiar place to hang.  Time will show you this, do not be blinded by emotions, protect your heart and health.  Good luck.
70248
Dear girl,\nI am suspecting that you are quite young if you're still not backing up since your Ex told you to. I would recommend, please give it a time. I know how you feel inside. I've been there, and it felt horrible at the time. But, trust me! After a while, maybe 3 weeks, maybe 3 months, but you'll feel much better. You will get over him! And you'll wonder why you were suffering as you are right now! The possible reason for your Ex acting this way is maybe that he have found his true love. And now he doesn't want to ruin it. Probably, his new girlfriend doesn't want you guys hanging out. So, please have some dignity and let him go. Don't be surprised though, if you get a call in few years from your Ex. So, I hope that you understand what I'm trying to say. Good luck!
525894
I totally understand your situation.  I met a WONDERFUL guy who I thought was my Mr. Right.  I told everyone I knew that I couldn't believe how lucky I was.  I put him on a pedestal, as everything he did lead me to believe he was perfect.  Later, information was divulged about his sexual past, which included multiple partners at once, different races, drunken one nighters, cheating, and barely over the legal age partners.  He was out to get it any way he could - true 'player' to the root.\n\nI was shocked, disgusted and appalled!  I was brought up very differently, and although he wasn't my first by far, I didn't do any of these shameful actions.  I began to see him very differently and it really affected our relationship.  I didn't want him to touch me, after knowing what he'd done, and also didn't think our sex life would ever measure up to his past free-for-alls.  Then the mistrust set in.  I felt hurt that I believed him to be one way, and then find out he was something altogether different.  I'd even make snide comments like 'yeah, you'd do that just like you 'did' everyone else' to hurt him like I was hurt.\n\nThen, one day I realized, that was all in his past, and how far he'd come from the days of debauchery, to being with me.  I'm the one who put him on the pedestal, not him.  Who the hell was I to judge his past - we've all got one.  Just because I find my past normal, maybe he'd think it appalling.  No one likes to hear that their lover shared moments of love and intimacy before them, no matter who they are.  It just plain hurts.  I realized that he was still the loving, caring man I'd met - that hadn't changed at all, and he still loved me just as much as he had before I found out.  It took a while, but I let my love for him overtake all the bad feelings I had, and began to love him again.  Don't let it get the best of you - let it go and see her for the beautiful, wonderful woman you married and not her past.\n\nBest of luck!
451276
You know, it's all about maturity, when you are young you want to see the world and that means having as many sexual conquest as you can, having different girlfriends with different nationalities, having threesomes, foursomes, having sex with no string attached, getting drunk until the dawn, having to have no responsibilities, nobody to call and travling the world.  But, as soon as you hit you mid 20's to 30's, things gets little complicated, you start to realize that you would still like to screw but you would really like to settle down with someone special and spend the rest of your life together.  So, give him some time and believe me if you guys have good chemistry, he will come back to you.
559678
You need to sit down alone and think about what you want.  From what you described in your first two sentences, you must of had something special.  I don't know how your current boyfriend is like your ex.  You need to figure that out for yourself if you want to work things out with your ex.  If you still have feelings for your ex, you definitely need to give yourself the chance to think about what you want because if not, you are going to be unhappy in your current relationship.  There isn't anything else much you could do.  Just sit and think.  Good luck.
407702
A couple that I know lived like this for years and it worked out good for them and they remain friends to this day.  I doubt that I could personally live that way but if people are capable of it then more power to them.  If you can't discuss it with the ex, then try and discuss it with your boyfriend and be honest and open about how you feel.  Hopefully he will be able to ease your inferiority and make you feel like a queen in his life at present.  Good luck to you.  We all have pasts and that is why it's called that because it is all gone.
632161
Definitely forget about sex with the ex-boyfriend.  Having sex with someone should be a natural part of a continuing relationship with someone you love.  He's off-and-on, hot and cold, so don't do it.  The old boyfriend is out of line.  \nThe other boy has potential, but still it's off-and-on.  Work on developing a solid relationship.  You'll have a better idea of when the time is right.\nThis website has some things to think about before having sex your first time:\nhttp://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/virginity.html
102178
the guy i am dating now i have been best friends with for 6 years. when we first met we started to flirt nothing serious, then he told me that he wanted to persue this other girl very seriously. so we became really good friends. after four years we were finally both single, he was getting ready to move across the country and he told me how he felt. we've been dating for 2 years now. it is with out a doubt the best relationship i have ever been in. i'm glad we waited, because if not we might not be together right now. if he loves you and you love him. you will end up together. i hope this helps your situation.
618974
Every girl you'll ever meet has a past. How can you get around that? If you didnt know this about your GF and BF before, how is that possible? And that leads to other questions you have to answer to - (for yourself, thanks)\n1. how does it really, (really) matter to you that they - if they did - had sex earlier in life?\n2. whom is the most important for you of the two? whom do you want to have a future relationship to?\n\nIf you care for her - you stay with her and keep the friendship with your friend.
145076
Age isn't the issue here... it's the maturity levels involved.  He wants a sweet young thing.  What happens when you become older?  Ask his ex-wife.  I learned the hard way, that some men objectify the women they care about.  In other words, they view them as objects or possessions, so they don't feel so bad when they get rid of the old to make room for the new.  Be careful.  You are just starting your life and I'd hate to see you ruin it so early.  Older guys are O.K. if you are old enough to have some life experiences to help you along.  You have never had an 8 year old and what about college?  This is the best time to prepare for the future.  I'll say a prayer for you.  Have you dicussed this with your parents?
595489
You were with your ex for so long that now you feel like no one else can compare. You are so young, now is the time for you to find yourself. To find out what you really want out of life, and a guy. No way you can no that if you have no experiences to base your decision on. I say you move on and focus on you for a while. If its meant to be with you and your ex... you'll get back together again.