can you get an equity loan? Even if I'm in bankrupsty? I seperated from my spouse NOW! We bought a house together and was thinking that maybe I could get an equity loan against our house behind he's back? Can I do that though? I know that you all are probably saying I should stay w/ the house but I don't care too because then he'll still be bothering. He'll keep on and if I stay with the house then I would never be at peace and I would feel as if I'm still with him. he is very jealous and all. So Please if anyone has any advice at all please let me know . God is good!!!
199314
if house in both your names you can't do it.  sell the house pay of bills and move 0n with your life.  The father does not want us to be miserable.  have you sought his guidance?  anoint yourself with oil and go on a fast.  He will and does answer prayers.   GOB BLESS YOU
662244
He should file now and you two start out fresh.  Keep separate accounts for now and both try to build up credit.  My husband had debt from previous marriage and it will effect you also.  Anything that shows up on his credit will affect you when you try to buy a house or both signatures are needed to make a big purchase such as a car.  Doesn't matter when it occurred.  I had to pay off my husbands utility bill from a previous marriage before the electricity could be turned on in our new place.
372915
Unfortunately, the simple answer is yes.  You need to go to your mortgage holder and advise them of the situation.  Your spouse DOES NOT have the legal right to take out loans in both your names.  Good luck!
599696
You need a private lender.  Explain your situation to them and hopefully one will be willing to take on the risk.  It will help a lot if you have a steady long term job.   Private Lenders charge more interest than banks and some of them do show up on credit search - make sure yours doesn't.  In Canada they advertise in major newspapers under the category, "Money to Lend."  We got our house this way and it worked great.  Good luck with the dream home!
657285
You need to sit down and discuss your financial situation. Tell him there are some things you are just not comfortable with. Make a proposal to him on how you would like to do things such as each of you being responsible for certain bills or one of you taking care of the bills but the other reimburses at the end of the month. There are many different ways married people manange their finances. My 1st husband and I just always put all of our money together. My boyfriend (we live together) and I don't but we share responsibillity for everything (rent, groceries, utilities,ect.) I pay alot of these because I have more time to take care of paying bills but at the end of the month I let him know what his share was and he gives it to me. There is no right or wrong way but you have to talk about it and come up with a plan and budget that works for both of you. Their are a lot of divorces over money so do it early on before resentments start to build. Maybe he just doesn't realize how much money you are putting out. Show him on paper what you pay in a month. When my boyfriend was between jobs, I paid everything for a while and he insisted he would pay me back. When he did start working and he had me figure out how much money I had paid out he couldn't believe how it had added up. He did pay me back completely but was shocked at the amount. I hope you find something that works for you. Good Luck!
500448
You sound like me and my fiancee. We are paying off all our bills before we get a house. We are going to get a house and stuff before we get married. We figure maybe that will help out some with the stress of marriage if we already have some things in order. He also wants to provide me with a house and stability before marriage. I don't have any problem with it, I would rather have all these things in the beginning instead of having to worry about it afterwards. I wish yall all the luck.
104489
After just being married, I'm sure that your mindset is that EVERYTHING should be together.  Seperate accounts is what he is used to at the moment.  This is all new for the both of you.  Give him a little time.  As time goes on, I am willing to bet the accounts will merge.  This is what happened to me.  I'm speaking from experience.  Don't push too much right now.  Lay low on this and see where it goes.
227187
Unfortunately, he can file bankruptcy, which just makes it harder for you to collect. You did mention for "us" to qualify  for a loan on our new house... I'm assuming this means you both own this house together (BOTH of your names are on the title)? If this is the case, you can go to court, and sue him for your half of the equity in the house (and the original downpayment plus attorney's fees) - this may require him to sell the house (which he can't legally do without your signature if your name is also on the title also). While the money you used to pay off your ex's vehicle and travel trailer might be gone (but not necessarily), at least you might be able to recover your loss suffered in the mortgage loan. Good luck!
98108
Why is he still single (unmarried) at 43? Why do you always have to start the discussion about moving in together? Why did he make that remark?\n\nI think you are right to wonder about his commitment to the relationship. But don't overreact - take it easy. I may be wrong!
551947
Keeping lines of communication open is good. Also, try to make any payment you possibly can. At this point, you may have to bite the bullet and get ANY job just to pay the bills. You can still search for a permanent job but it would be crazy to lose a house you almost have paid off if you can go down the street and get a job at fast food, a retail store, etc. Heck, deliver pizzas! If you can possibly do so, get a roommate. Do whatever it takes to bring in some money (legally) and keep the lender aware of all your efforts. Once you get 4 mths behind, they can start the foreclosure process. If your credit is okay, and since you have some equity in your home, you may be able to take out a home equity line of credit - but I'm not a big fan of treating your home as a bank, esp when the problem is that you have no money to pay the mortgage as it is....it's like robbing from Peter to pay Paul. Because you're going to have to then pay back on the HELOC as well. So this would be a last resort.
218406
I have been wondering this myself.  You are so right, life isn't sure at all.  I have a lease where I am at until December and he has a lease where he is at until October.  ... I would like to buy a house in a couple of more years and I am not sure when it would be good for him to move in or if we will even still be an item.  It is just something out there.  Guess you just have to go with what you feel is best.
217655
sorry don't know an answer to this but I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you. I have a prem baby and I know how financially draining it can be. \nHas your wife tried appealing to this guys better nature by explaining the situation to him and asking if there is a compromise you could come to?
288626
I have been married for just over 9 years, together for 11 and have 4 children. We faced similar trials recently, we lost our house almost the car and were behind on a lot of bills. Divorce was never an issue, it will not solve any of those problems and if you agree on everything than you agree on that also. Sometimes you just have to lose everything to see what is really important... your family and their well being. You can always rent, get extent ions on the bills if you ask for help. It has been just about 2 years since everything seemed to go wrong for us, financially, but we are stronger and more aware of our money, emotions and the important stuff that always seemed to get lost before. It does get better. Keep your head up and stick it out.
178813
***********************************************************\nHopefully you currently own your home now. You can use the equity in your current home as a downpayment on a 2nd home. Use the 1st as a rental. This may mean refinancing your 1st home or getting a 2nd mortgage on it.\n\nI suggest you take your first $15 bucks you can spare, go out and buy the book "The Automatic Millionaire Homeowner" by David Bach. This book alone is more than enough to get you started, even if you don't think you can. You can also check out his website at www.finishrich.com/homeowner\n\nAnd by the way, don't let others tell you it can't be done or they know someone who tried, etc. They have good intentions. They are trying to protect you from disappointment (a feeling they've experienced). So thank them for being caring enough with thier warnings. But explain that what you can really use is thier encouragement and support and that any advice they have that might help you in your efforts would be much appreciated.\n\nDon't give up. And congratulations on your thinking big.\n\nHope this helps. Good luck.\n\n***********************************************************
592543
Sheesh, want to switch with my wife she never lets me tell her what to do. I am 6'3" and she just a tiny 5'2" but she is the boss. No really your both adults, work it out, talk, communicate, tell him what you want to do and why and listen to his answers. Maybe he feels guilty that the first house you bought wasn't as big or as nice as he thought it would be. I don't know, but without talking to him, you won't know either. Talking to people on line is not going to get it done either. Sounds to me like your tired and frustrated and will continue to be until you two talk it out. There are no stead fast rules or anything on what you are allowed and not allowed to due in most places in the U.S. and I  have to assume it is not a religeous prohibatation as your talking about it on the internet. Talk to him, if you can't talk to him, write him a letter. If worse comes to worse neither of you will be happy.
209962
Hey, you know, I am kind of in the same boat as you are, except for I have pretty much gone through having to hear my ex-husband cry to me every single time that I spoke with him to let me know how much is missed me.  I have two young boys with him, and believe me, it has been really hard, but thanks to my dear boyfriend who I now love a lot I have made it through.  I have been thinking about living with my boyfriend too, as my divorce will be in June, but it seems like I can't wait that long.  I don't know, but I just know that women seem to want things done much quicker and we don't like to wait to get what we want.  I would say to do what your heart tells you to do.
310986
First of all, I congratulate you for sticking around so long and trying to make it work. But it sounds like he wants you for all the fun and none of the responsibility. If he wants you home, but refuses to give you money, serious issue in my books. Its saying to me...share my house, but I don't trust you with my money. But, oh yeah, you gotta be home for me whenever. Yuck, sounds controlling to me. For me, the deal breaker would be no more kids. I have 3 right now, and if my hubby said no after the first, I woulda moved on. I love the guy, but its been in my heart since I was a child to have lots of kids. If your relationship were giving, a marriage, and sounded like there was a partnership it would be one thing. But he sounds controlling and like he's dangling the maybe of marriage just to keep you around. So tell him how you feel. Tell him you need more (more kids, a marriage, a guy that devotes as much time to his family as his job). If he's not seriously making improvements in the next few months, I'd start finding a family member to help you until you can get a job and a place. You are still plenty young, and don'y stay with him cause you are unsure of what-ifs. God bless!!