We had a six year relationship, but we both had alcohol problems. So in order for me to help me, I left him, which of course broke his heart. I want him back now, he is not seeing anyone, but he told me he just doesn't want to be tied down to anyone right now. Should I respect that? Do I tell him how I feel about him. I already apoligized to him. I really love this man. He is my Mr. Right. So what do I do?
216821
Tell him how you feel and ask him for a commitment but let him know he can't have his cake and eat it too.
237349
Take a break.....if it happened once it could happen again.  They say once a cheater always a cheater.  What were the circumstances surrounding the "moment" alcohol, stress, anger etc....and will this set it off in the future??  It could just be a never ending spiral.  And at some point if it does happen again, you may feel you need to do the same thing just to get back at him.  He needs to prove himself worthy of you.  And it will always sit in the back of your mind.  First thing you should do is talk about it again and show him how you are feeling, if your reaction was nothing, he may not think it's a big deal!  Good luck....  And remember there is someone out there that is perfect for you, so if you ahve to let this one go, it might be b/c someone better is waiting!! :)
594701
Has he turned to alcohol because of the divorce or was there an alcohol problem and that is why you divorced? If he has just started abusing alcohol because of the divorce, maybe you can help him through this if he wants your help. I believe a divorced couple can get back together and have a wonderful life together. Once your divorced from that person, you see what you gave up, you see the mistakes you made in the marriage and when you go back into a relationship with that person again, you don't make the same mistakes as before. I know how you feel. I'm still madly in love with my ex. But he doesn't return the love. If your ex does return the love, then that's half the battle. Good luck, life it too short, go for it if you think it will work out.
92623
I think you are doing the right thing and just to let you know it will end soon. If you were to back off now that would defeat your whole purpose and have wasted yours and his time. I know you did not want to hear this but, there is always a but isnt there? But If you cant see him changing or being flexible enough on this subject then you may have to let him go, if you fold and let the relationship go back to what is was it will be worse than it was before. I would hang in there, but not for too long.
504986
I am happy for you that you realize he didn't love you, you are on the road to recovery!  WTG!  Why do you miss him so much?  You spent 3 years with him, that is a good chunk of time wouldn't you agree?  Even though someone hurt us more than imaginable, we still suffer a loss after a break up.  The only way to heal is to forgive him for all they ways he's hurt you.  You forgive him for yourself and your mental health, it really has nothing to do with him.  Then give yourself a lot of time.  You aren't going to get over three years in a month.  When you feel you are ready to move on you will but; give yourself a little time so what he did to you doesn't effect your next relationship.  Good luck and remember:  "NO MAN OR WOMAN IS WORTH YOUR TEARS AND THE ONE WHO IS WON'T MAKE YOU CRY."  I don't know who said it but; it's wonderful isn't it?
493336
You broke up with him because you wanted him to change.  Now, you want suggestions on how to change him back.  I think you should stop focussing on how he should act, and focus on your own behavior because you can only control your actions, not his.  Obviously, it seems like you should have thought through breaking up more before you actually did it.  You hurt him.  You have to show him that you can be trusted.  Apologize, be honest with him about your feelings and let him be.  If he comes back to you, he is in your future.  If he doesn't, then learn from the experience and the next time you're with someone you're totally crazy about, don't get caught up in fixing his flaws.
263224
I think both of you need a serious talk. If he says his feelings decreased but he says he made a huge mistake you need to ask how he feels now. Cause if he doesn't want to be with you in that way, you're only torturing yourself by hanging out with him and talking to him on the phone. If he feels that he wants to get back together then he should tell you when both of you have your serious talk. If he says he needs to think about it and you want to wait then don't pressure him. Show interest but not insecurity. I know it would be hard to stop talking to someone that you love if it wont work out. But sometimes you need your heart to hurt a little bit so it would heal. Just keep yourself busy. If it's meant to be then it will happen. There's plenty other relationship experience's that you will go through and not all of them will work even though your certain they're the one. And yes, I'm telling you this from personal experience. Good luck...
447948
I agree with the other posts. you are doing the right thing. The sooner you forget about him and move on, the better for you. You dont need his issues. His ex is most welcome to him. He sounds like a true loser. And I dont mean to insult on your taste in men. Hopefully this experience will make you stronger and wiser. Find a guy with morals and ethics. He deserves to be with you.
602176
Believe it or not, this just happened to me last night.  My boyfriend was married for 11 years and they split up 9 months ago.  We have been going out for the last two months.  Last night, after about two beers, he looked me right in the eyes and said "I love you so much Ch*&^%)(*%$#."  I couldn't believe it.  He kept telling me he was so sorry and I know he felt terrible, but It is eating at me today too.  I know it was an accident and he didn't mean it, so I have decided to just force myself to stop thinking about it.  I know he loves me and I know he doesn't want to go back to her.  He is very loving and attentive in so many ways, so my advice to both of us is to stop being so sensitive and admit that our boyfriends are human.  They make mistakes, I wouldn't want him to crucify me if I were in his shoes.\n\nGood Luck.
284250
Sitting around, wondering & doing nothing won't get either of you back together. If you think it's worthwhile to try again, make the first move & see what happens. I'm not saying go all out and tell him outright. That's just me & I'd much prefer the guy to take the lead to let me know where he's headed. Just call and say Hi or leave some kind of messsage that let him know. See what he does next. Be prepared for the worst though as he may have moved on. At least you won't spend your life wondering.
141767
take your time to heal. Don't call him. If you feel the urge to call him take it 1 day at a time( like an addiction). Occupy your time with something else. If you are sitting around and not doing anything you will start to think about him. It is good that you ended it now, because if you would have waited it would hurt more than now. Tell yourself that it is over and you two will never be together again. Look at breaking up like this; you are now one step closer to finding the one you are meant to be with.
315712
I think that just proving to him that he's the best guy for you and that you truly love him and want to be with him is good enough. Explain to him why you broke it off, meaning the truth, then tell him that you are happy to have him back because you love him. And leave it at that. You don't want to sound too giddy.
498759
You have every right to ask him how he really felt.  Go ahead, ask.  Make sure you tell him you aren't interested in getting back together, but that you just want to know how he really felt.  If you feel like it was all fake though, I'd trust your instincts.  Can you trust him not to lie to you about how he feels now that it's over?
510111
I think you should take him back. Just to see if he actually has changed, because from the sound of it, it seems to me that he has changed. Also because you have nothing to loose if you do start to date him again. I also think it would just be a good decision to make because it seems like that would make you happy, with you missing him and all.\n\nOne more thing... you shouldn't lie to your man... especially about things that involve your ex. It's wrong, and it also seems somewhat suspicious, ya know???\n\nGood Luck ;)
59724
he is in a comfort zone. What about you, what do you want? Think about why you broke up..Is he worth it, or can you do better than the way he treats you. Is this what you want for your future or are you just settling in your comfort zone. If he is the man you want, than just ask him, and if it is not the answer you are looking for.....move on
36403
In a dating relationship, leaving when he most needs you is gonna make his hurt all the worse.\nPlus if you leave now he will know he can never trust you again. and there will be no later. \ngive him time he needs, if it was YOU in his position how would you feel if he dumped you? \nsmart choice is be strong, and patient. once he is emotionally stable again then if you decide to leave you can do so with a clear conscience. \nor if you don;t care how he feels. then by all means leave. but don;t expect him to welcome you back with open arms if you find him diserable again. he is more then likely to return the pain you gave him.
311292
It really hard to Move on girl but You have to ...Well everyone was saying move on and you might think we don't know what you r feeling and just saying move on..the thing is i know how u feeling right now...you feel sad ..you want to cry and you want to tell him how much u need him/ love him and u want to show him u would do anything to get him and u want to beg him to get bak but he doesn't feel the same and u feel like u want to die is't? I been there a few month ago. he broke my heart and i feel all the thing that i'm telling you now but in the end what did i get ...he doesn't feel same as me...i'm just making my self down/worst...so i'm just relise instand of wanting him back i should try to have fun with my mate more and i should do anything that make me happy and yep i'm happy now and I'm glad i'm sigle again. I don't need them to make me happy and yep i'm not dating anyone at the moment and i don't feel like it ..i'm enjoy my single life. the thing is u just need to make ur self happy ..if u happy u don't need him but i'm very sure it going to take time ..u can't just do it overnight and ou really really need to be strong ...Anyway if u really want him back that badly try to be friend with him again first and show him u care."Love is when friendship on fire" ..."if u love a dove, let him go...if he come back he is ur ..if he not he never was"..just remember this ..it always help me but good luck