"Standard procedures" they'll calling it.  Well I'm a mother in Calif too, and I haven't had FDCS (Family Department of Child Services) visit me as part of a "standard procedure."  She's such trash!!!!
203887
she is a perfect example of why it amazes me that you have to have a license to drive a car, but ANYONE can have a baby...I fear for that child and wouldn't wish that life on him or anyone...it seems as though she just thought it was a "cool", "trendy" thing to have a baby...I'd like to know what her mother really thinks about all this...is she just as trashy?
432726
YUH! I couldn't agree with you more. She brought it upon herself. How naive can you get? She wanted kids while she was young SO bad that she married a TOTAL poser who can't open his eyes enough to even see her, 2 kids with another woman who he LEFT to be with her because she was more popular than her! He probably was seeing one of the recent most popular women, he's a sick, poser, playing freak and she's just stupid. Two kids with that guy. Oh boy.... can't wait to see how those kids turn out... and HA!!!! He's trying to get full custody for them!!! Do you HONESTLY think he'll get any custody of them?? he has no money and sold close to no CDs. She is suffering this, she made her bed, now she can lay in it. Ha ha, I'm ranting on, but COME ON! It's so true! You're awesome. You took the works right out of my mouth. ;-)
637894
Sounds like it is(and no offense) but dirty laundry that the gov doesnt want brought out. Keep writing..bring that family some closure.
608082
The same thing here. My man's mother more than awful. She's one of those "christains" that quotes the bible and tell you that you're going to hell, but she does every evil thing there is to do. She stole from him, forged his income tax return, lied and manipulate every situation and she told me that if I was to concieve a child, she didn't want no parts of it. I'm writing a book about my experiences with her drama. I ignored her. I stopped playing nice with her after she attack him when he was in the ER. I told her exactly what I thought of her and I ignore her. Eventually, he cut her loose. It was his decision. It's been a year now since we last heard from her. Life has been great and less stressful without her.
11801
Yes, I agree that it should always be illegal.  The number of cases where the mothers life is in danger is miniscule in comparison to when it is not.  I have been there and gone through with it.  I regret it.  A lot.  Thankfully, I have a Savior who is forgiving........
329660
I know a lot of states won't allow the argument that one parent works and has to take a child to a sitter and the other parent doesn't.  I went through this same argument with my ex husband.  I worked full time, and he didn't.  The judge said that it wasn't admissible into court as long as I had a safe place for my son to be while I was at work.  The judge then ordered that he had to watch my son when I was at work, so I wouldn't have to pay a babysitter.  Even if you don't get full custody, you can probably get to have your child whenever your ex is working or away from home for an extended period of time-ours was two hours.  The fact that he is a corrections officer doesn't really help him.  The judge is going to look at your charecter more than your job, unless your job is illegal.  My husband is a truck driver, and his ex is a stay at home mom, and we still won full custody of his three girls.  Come on, most truck drivers have a really bad rep of being vulgar jerks, but it didn't seem to matter.  If he is calling the police and claiming you are refusing to return your child when ordered, have the visitation drop off changed to the police station.  There is always someone there, and they make great wittnesses to pick ups and drop offs.  That is what we had to do.  My husband's ex kept bringing the kids home two and three hours late, but as soon as we moved pick up and drop offs to the police station it changed.  Evey time you drop your child off with him, they can give you documentation that you were on time and the child was in good health, ect.  Also, keep a copy of your custody arrangement handy.  That way when he says you're breaking it, you can pull it out and show you are following all of the guidelines it gives.  If you can record every conversation you have with him.  If you can't record them, keep a journal and write down everything he says and does around you.  If you keep it up all the time, not just sometimes, it is admissable in court, and it will give the judge a good idea of the kinds of things he is saying and doing to you.  Just keep on doing the best you can.  It won't be easy, but don't despair.  Let him keep being a jerk about everything.  As long as you document EVERYTHING he will hang himself in court with his behavior.  Good luck and God Bless:)
147637
I have.... I had a rough time when I didn't make much money and couldn't make my whole payments (made partials). They totaled up the back payments and took away my license even though I kept trying to call and pay it off.... I could never get through to anyone at the local office!!  I have since payed off all of it and I'm still waiting on my license to be reactivated.  They offer little help to the few fathers who are trying to do the right thing.  By the way.... my son spends every weekends with me.... I'm not just there for financial support.
293790
I am so sorry for you! I am not experiencing the same, but my daughter has to have visitations with her father. He has threatened to kidnap her, so I'm always worrying about it. Also my child is 4 and has told me that her father touches and hurts her peepee. I've contacted several different agencies, lawyers, docs etc. Nothing is being done! I feel the frustration that you are going thru!The judge actually granted extra time on visits and went to unsupervised visits b/c evidence was inconclusive.I was told that if my ex was to run off with my daughter there was really nothing that I could do, even though I also have full custody. Why? Because he is the child's rightful parent too, and is allowed visitation. HUH??? I swear that is what they told me. But yet if I refuse to give my daughter over to him for his visits I will be arrested for kidnapping! ?????What a world we live in! Give me an email sometime. I'd like to stay in touch with you even if it's just to offer support. I hate to mention it but have you tried all the hosp. in the area that you last knew them to be? How about tracking them down via Yahoo White pages? Do you know of any family or friends that she might take your daughter to. Maybe you could contact them or go see them face-to-face. I don't know your financial sit. but hiring a private investigator might help. Have you posted their pics at police stations? They can fax it to others nationwide. Offer a reward. And above all else don't give up until you know for sure. And PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!!I will pray for you right now! God be with you! The answer about checking with schools is great. When you move to a new school the old school has to contacted and then they send info and should keep this on record. Maybe if she was in a Headstart program or a preschool program like pre-K you might be able to get some info thru them. As her biological father, you have the right to request that info and they cannot deny you it.Amy
182837
Hate to say this but terminate the driving priviledges for her son and/or daughter...and maybe then she'll get the message.  How in considerate and rude!!
465771
I am not sure why your daughter was sent to live with your mother, but it sounds like something similar that I went through. I had moved away from my children at one point and it was only supposed to be temporary. I had to write a letter stating specifically that my mother had temporary custody and made decisions on behalf of my children. This is what the local DSHS office wanted to get my children enrolled in medical. And as far as enrolling them in school, I had to contact the school and tell them that my mother would be acting as their guardian in my place. So, as long as this situation is only temporary, I see no reason why a written letter from you and a few phone calls from you wouldn't be sufficient.
345416
I hope it wakes him up to see that any "comprehensive" plan is impossible to enforce because they are constantly going to try and find some way to show they are exempt....even if it means using their children as pawns.  Even abiding by the rules that the Senate wanted to pass, with the "path to citizenship", she would not have been allowed to stay here.  She was already deported,  had here stay extended.  She's failed at every legal move since.  Even with chances and reprieves she LOST....but still won't abide by the law.  She's 1 and you can imagine all the chaos when they all try their shot at it.  As far as I'm concerned she proved there is no way but strict enforcement to get these people out of here.  They just don't think they have the responsibility to abide by ANY law.  "For the sake of the children" burned out a long time ago.  To me this is the same as some thug holding his child as a shield from bullets.  She looking out for HER best interest.  They make it sound like their children will be taken away from them.  Some even go so far to say the kid couldn't make it in Mexico because they don't know Spanish and it would be stressful to assimilate.  They haven't assimilated here and don't seem to know English either.  All their "excuses" don't work.  They made the choices and any problems for their kids are THEIR fault not ours.  The kids are free to go with them.  If not, then sign them over to a legal guardian. Otherwise they can come back when they are of legal age and hopefully learn from their parents mistakes.  They need to learn that having children doesn't make them exempt from having to abide by the law.
642177
a few years ago, me and my children were hit head on by a druck driver. me and the kids were okay. only a few cuts and bruises, but she was hurt very bad. my lawyer pressed charges against her, and when she got out of the hosp, she was to turn herself in for booking. well, she told the judge she was going to write us an apology letter and send my kids some toys. he let her off with her word and a slap on the wrist. she never did write us a letter. as a matter of fact i heard thru the grapevine (her boyfriend was the brother of our mortage holder) that she said, "they weren't even hurt that bad." well, how would she know what my children went thru. what i when thru. living the memory evertime we go down that road. she didn't hear my kids screaming and crying. after i woke up, after being knocked out by the air bag, i climbed out the drivers window and i had to walk around her truck to to get to my kids, i looked inside to see if she was dead or what. all she said was get me out of this damn truck. i didn't say anything to her. i just left to go see about my kids. i knew she was drunk or high. never want to go thru that again!
196834
I know how angry you are - my ex does those type of things and worse.  Once, when he threatened to not return the children (as we had agreed), I called the police (another police officer had advised me to call the police if my ex continued to do things in violation of our agreement - like picking up the kids without telling me, etc.).  Anyway, I am in California and I called the police and the officer said that, if the kids are with a parent, they would not take a report until it had been at least 48 hours since the children were supposed to be returned.  My attorney didn't offer any solutions and didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal.  \n\nThe bottom line seems to be:  the court hears about this stuff (and worse) all the time.  So, while to us, it is huge and terrible, to other people, it's just things divorced parents do.  Sorry you are going through that.  Maybe someone can offer more productive help.
112200
You really NEED to call DCFS.  You both are hurting her by allowing this to continue. Call as soon as possible. The mother deserves to be arrested.
239338
IF this is for real, what has stopped her from seeing the District Attorney? She should have been there the following morning. She should press charges, period...crooked police anywhere are a big problem. IF she has witnesses, will they testify??? Better have all the ducks in a row before going anywhere with this.
570824
Please read this all the way through, my heart is with you. I have two boys 10 and 6 that did the same thing (flushing). Charging 10 cents every time I found the bowl full stopped my problem. But your daughter seems like she has hit rebellion already. My 6 year old became very sore and he learned his lesson at 4 about wiping. But with your daughter "dirty down there" is not going to work. She's 10 not 4, don't patronize her, think back to when you were 10. Let's face it we were all picking up info from friends about sex. You 3 parents have to get together as a group and realize she is not a child she is a young lady/woman. Lectures and threats are not going to work anymore. She needs to start making her own decisions, educated decisions. Talk to a gynecologist get facts about what could happen if she doesn't clean up her act. Pictures if necessary, of what these diseases can do to her body. She could pick up staf infection just to name one, and wind up in the hospital. (My husband being a fire fighter had a call at one time about a woman with an upset stomach. She wasn't a wiper either her whole body smelt of crap. When they got her to the hospital because no one wanted to check between her legs (which was where the real discomfort was) they found her vagina was infested, stuffed with maggots.)Please do everything in your power to educate her in a way that will help her to help herself make the right choices. Also is she happy with herself, looks, school, and friends. These are all very important to her right now. If she doesn't have it yet soon she will be starting her cycle. You think you have problems now, wait. This is the summer of change for your family. Make it that way, help her, she needs you all just to hear her, and realize she is not a little girl, or even a big girl, she is a young lady/woman. A new hair style, a light colored eyeshadow if not wearing makeup, a few new clothes, you might want to rethink the panty thing. Is she wearing panties that make her feel like a young lady/woman, or is she wearing widebottomed, widesided diaperwear. Help her to feel different about herself. Chin up, no one ever said this parent thing was easy, but think of the good times, keep an open mind, and email me if you need to. We have all been there in one way or another.
59659
I believe the reason no one else has answered is the same as my reason, but I figured I may as well tell you.  I do not like to answer questions that expect me to "hit the blue line" before I do.  I have been burned by viruses (virii?) too many times, and too many times simply found that the next thing wanted was my contact information.  Then spam comes spewing out my email inbox like the owl post to Harry Potter in the first movie!\n\nI love kids, and hate to think of them being abused, but I know that such a tear-jerker cause can be exploited shamelessly by people who are far more interested in their own agenda.  I do not want to fall victim to those types anymore than I want kids to fall victim to any abuser.\n\nThere are also sensitive issues about false claims of abuse during heated divorce cases, people who consider the term "child abuse" a convenient buzz word every time a parent disciplines a child, however mildly, etc.  There are people who would force parents to surrender their rights to their children to "security," as our federal government has asked us to surrender our right to privacy to "security."  There are people who would shut down a day-care center on charges of abuse, when what they really want is to gain control over the children themselves.\n\nIt's a mean, mean world out there, and I hope you are sincere.  I'm not convinced this is the way to go about what you are trying to do (I hope) to help the kids themselves.