She thinks that the world revolves around her and keeps my brother away from everyone in the family. He isn't allowed to do anything! They also recently had a baby and he isn't allowed to take the baby to our parent's house (45min away). She guilts him into thinking he is being a bad father if he "pawns" the baby off on our parents. She is always saying crazy things like "I know the only reason she is pregnant is because she wants to be like me" and leaves any gifts for the baby in the garage until the baby outgrows them... what is wrong with her and is there anything I can do?
211414
It seems to me that she is very jealous of your family and is afraid that too much attention might be showered upon your brother and the new baby. This is very sad for everybody. I'm sure that if she wasn't like she is that your family would welcome her as a part of the group. Maybe she grew up as insecure and in a not so loving family atmosphere and this contributes to her behavior. You might try talking to her and see if she will open up. Maybe that you or your family could offer to go to their house and sit with the baby while they have a nice dinner out. This could be an icebreaker. Good luck to you and your family.
503220
Please address this issue with the parents.  find out how much interaction she gets with her parents and the newborn.  This could be a key in why her behavior is bossy and might indicate the parents attitude about the newborn.\n\nTry teaching the child how you do your work and incorporate her into the routines.  This might sound weird but she maight be trying to see where she fits in in the family and she might be trying to justify her existence and usefulness to the family.\n\nI have more but will need more information on the home life to be more complete in my answer.
418276
Sounds like she needs some mental help, with her mood swings and attitude. She has been your step-mother for 8 years, I think that is enough time to adjust. I would just do what she says, and don't give her any reason to get mad. Then, if she doesn't change, talk to your dad and tell him what is going on. No parent should choose their own happiness and partners over their children. If possible, and she doesn't change, go live with your mom. That is about your only options. Unless your step-mom gets on some meds to straighten her mood swings out. Good luck sweetie, and be strong for your sister. :)
226937
My girlfriend had a similar problem with her older sister, she was a brat that was spoiled by her mother.  She treats her younger brother and sisters like trash and comes home yelling and kicking when things don't go her way.  She would go to their room to eat and put dirty cloth on their bed, and would leave without cleaning after herself.\n\nMy girlfriend and her siblings finally decided to take action to stop this madness.  They changed all the locks on the doors and told her elder sister either she respect them like human being or don't come back.\n\nHer elder sister went mad and start kicking and screaming when she heard that. She end up being asked to leave and kick out of the house at 1am in the morning, going back to her own place.\n\nAfter that she started to respect my girlfriend and her younger siblings on the phone and in person, althought she hasn't made her presence in the house so far after that night.\n\nYour family need to come together and tell your brother that this is not the way to go; disrespect your family is never right doesn't matter who you are. Your family must take a stand.\n\nI understand most family don't want to be firm and stand their ground because they are afraid of losing their children.  But the fact is your family already lost your brother and the only way for him to respect and come back is to show him your determination to your ideal as a family.\n\nGive him time to think, tell him if he still wants his family, he just as to respect you and your parents like what a nomraly child would do.  You're not asking alot here.\n\nWhether he accept / understand is irrevleant, don't try to convince him right now (he's probably not gonna agree), just let him know what your family decided to do.\n\nYour brother is probably not gonna budge now because he has his own family, but somewhere down the line when things don't go good he'll remember his sister and his parents.  That's where he'll come back and that's when you and your family will have a chance of change him by accepting him back.\n\nIts going to take time and patience for him to come back, but you have to let him know where your family stand for him to come back at all.  Don't push him away, just tell him where your family stands and ask him to think about it.  \n\nIts time to take a stand for what you believe.
392298
ok, so i lost you there at the end, but... there is always someone who gets all weird & acts distant to the family. they usually have other issues & i really suggest just staying out of it all & avoid such drama. making a fuss is only going to piss the brother off instead of making him WANT to be around the family. you can't assume it is only the woman who wants to keep him to herself. unless he says that. there may be much more to the situation than what you realize. so, i would just enjoy the family you have & accept your brother for the decisions he chooses to make.
664734
I'm sorry to say this, but it's probably in your best interest to isolate her from the life you are trying to have with your wife.  She is being disrespectful to you and your wife now, and nothing is going to change her mind.  You also need to consider what she might say to your children if she does stay in the picture.  She obviously speaks her mind, so she may tell them that she never wanted you to have them, or that they are a burden..ect.  You can hope she'll change her mind when the baby comes, but I doubt it'll happen.  I would start keeping her at a distance now.\n\nI had my first baby at 25 (married for 3 years) My mom was 47.  She never once said anything about being too young, in fact she was on cloud nine to be a grandma!  You are in a loving stable relatinship with a woman you obviously love and care for...why wouldn't you want to have a family?  I say put her in her place, and good luck.
542039
Seems like she is making some bad decisons Mom!  But you are allowing them and at the same time trying to restrict them!  You can't do both.  Hard mission as her Mother.\n\nAdvice:  She has made the transition from needy child to adult situations.  BUT, she is now back in YOUR home?  You can instill a curfew regardless of her age out of respect to the peace of mind in your own home.  Demand that she respect that!  Stick to it, or she should locate her own level of permission by moving out or the boyfriend needs to allow her to move in with HIM!  And he probally won't (let's hope) I don't agree with the 28 year old Father of 3 dating an 18 year old at all. \n\nYou absolutely can NOT balance what you want for your daughter and what she wants for herself.  Requiring a time frame for her to be home is different from when she was strickly under your wing.  \n\nThe rules change when she becomes a house quest, self sufficent and reliable to her word.    Sit her down, talk to her, explain your thoughts and concerns.  Give her the ground rules for returning home.  Give her a time frame for making her way back out of her parents home.  6 months should be sufficent.\n\nShe lies due to her feeling like an adult, but still answering to Mom.  Tell her she is an adult, but living with Mom, thus she does have certain obligations toward the family.\n\nI understand your anger Mom.  Give allowances, take no acceptions.
331928
She insults you and her son (your husband)... tell me WHY you cannot seriously reduce the time you all spend with her?  I'd tolerate this heifer only on the holidays!
7753
speak up, the mother of the child still wants that control she thinks it is her kid and shell do want she wants. there will be lots of problems but always smile to the mom and but you must put your foot down and not let her control you and him. yes they have a child together and that is it. trust me i deal with it all the time. it is not the childs fault though. but you do need to speak up not bossy just say we want the things to stay here for when she is here. and dont invite her over. your going to have to let her go from your lives and let her have her own with the child her and your boyfriend are over and it sounds like she is just trying to hold on to something?...  good luck
567522
First of all, if your house and family are that bad, then she shouldn't come over any more.  Seems like to me she's being a BRAT, and using you and your family.  You should stop hanging with her and enjoy your family.  They can't be replaced, you can get a new friend.
230906
You can do nothing from this point.  You have acted maturely enough if you honestly have asked her why she was acting this way.  \nSometimes it's best to address what is on you mind regardless of what reaction might be solicited.\nNow go about your business and no matter what she will not be able to deny you have both given her the opportunity to explain her hostility towards you.  \nShe will lash out a little more, but eventually, I believe, she will want to join your friendship and not stew over it.\nShe is still a mom and you are a woman that threaten the very fibers of her closeness with her young.  Every species has this process in it's life cycle, humans are no different.  She'll remind you of course that her bonds with her son are stronger as this is normal.  Hostility is not nor should it be tolerated by anyone much less than a close family member.  I'd like to add that if a man can defend you against his mother he will defend you against anyone.  Tough situation but I believe you'll make it through this.  Good luck.\n\nI hope this answer just changed your life.  Peace.
432752
You are definitely not wrong. Sounds like your sister has some major issues and you have every right not to like her actions and attitude.
278706
No. She doesn't deserve to be your mother. In fact, she's totally unfit to be a mother to any child. Self-absorbed, selfish, inhuman.... I can only say that I am so sorry for you and your siblings. You could make a report and try to get your other sibling back from her. I fear for that sibling of yours under her care.
314864
Our sister-in-laws must be related! Last summer we found out that mine was pregnant! It was the longest nine months on earth- everything revolved around her- She immediately quit her job at a retail store (at 3 weeks preg) where she was a cashier. She couldn't do any work around the house (lucky for her she and her boyfriend are living at her mom's house) When it was time to decorate the nursery, She didn't lift a finger she let her mother do it all (and pay for it all) of course she married her boyfriend (had honeymoon at motel 10 miles from home) (Did I mention he lives there too and doesn't work?) (Doesn't even cut grass)\nThe whole 9 months She was treated like a princess and was so bitchy to everyone!! Now that the baby is here she lets my mother in law do everything, She is rude to everybody and has no plans to get a job. Plus when the baby was 5 weeks old her and her husband left in his moms camper for a week! And said she would have stayed 2 weeks if she didn't have to pick up her wic and food stamps.\nHope this doesn't make you vomit. \n:)
343844
Give your brother some advice. Tell him to get a lawyer and get his assets together ASAP. Then stay out of it. As for her, tell her not to bring her marriage into your relationship with her. Its not fair to you because you love your brother. \n\nDo you think maybe she is telling you because she thinks you will tell him? Hmmmm She is a game player.
153593
I cetainly wouldn't tolerate anyone going thru my things, I'd call her on that one, but as far as playing the big Sister role...she just may think because you are surrounded by brothers, you may want the "sisterly" advice...once you set her straight on the privacy issue, and she continues to "snoop", THEN tell your Bro, he wouldn't want your friends going thru his stuff either....as far as the "big sister" role goes, that probably won't last too long... and she may not either, chances are if she's annoying you this much already, she's probably annoying your other brothers in some way or another as well.....
320373
Although I believe a child's place is with his mother, this woman doesn't deserve to have children. If I were you I would try to get full custody of the child. It is clear she will always use your son as a financial benefit for her not your son.Your son is a blessing for you, to bad for her if she can't see it. Get rid of that scumbag and devote yourself to give your child all the love that is obvious your wife can't give him.