I feel tormented and insecure because it seems that he's having the time of he's life, he's interested in other friends and girls and he's not giving me the attention he used to, or that both used to, i'm very very very self starter and independent but this situation is affecting my self auto- esteem. When he was in a bad auto-esteem situation i was always there for him, seem everything turned upsidedown, now i'm the one that is feeling down, because of him, and now i need to prove myself but i guess i'm not being true to myself because i'm doing things to prove myself in a way that i'm foling myself, for example: i feel so desperate that i need to change my image urgently! Or i'm trying to get in different courses of his interested to prove to him that i'm interesting, because he's always talkin and dreaming about a girl he likes so it makes me feel depressed so i take it like as a challenge to improve,but blind.\nPlease help me i really feel humiliated, i just want to be me again.
216109
It sounds to me like you need to move on and find someone that is interested in you. Don't waste your time trying to please some guy... you will regret it in the long run. Move on and try to find out who you are.
535408
you mean to tell me that for 1 1/2 years he never complimented you?and your still with this guy? whatever! do ya know if he even likes himself? low self esteem? there definitly is a problem here and bound to become a major issue, do you know if this guy has any love for himself to begin with? because you can't expect him to show you love if he dont love himself, you can always assure him that you are not like those he had to grow up with, that you see something in him that no body in his family does, and that you wont blame him when things go wrong, and ask him to  drop his gaurd and let you in,  tell him you not going to hurt him that you just want to help begin the healing process, teach him that if he looks past all those previous negative judgements, he will find some one that he never knew existed, some one I'm sure he'd like, just understand that those who  not by shoice had to  grow up in that type of atmosphere, will  only know rejection and to feel like they could never be nothing. he should start by feeling lucky that he's got you!  Good luck to you both!
178963
You are your own's best support. Even I was having that feeling earlier but then I find out what are my likes and I concentrate on that things. Whatever make me feel good I start doing that. Try to be positive towards life and enjoy whatever you Have. Something is not in your hand to change but you can create a way to be calm/happy in that bad time. Its all up to you to live happy or down. All the best
664897
He sounds immature.  Ask yourself if you  are better off with him or without him.  Sounds to me like without would be the way to go.\n\nI just ended a 7 year relationship - so don't feel alone in this.  I feel sad at times but am getting my life back together without his head games and am feeling at peace\n\nGood luck
147788
It is normal to feel down about yourself at this age and during your life. Everyone needs someone that they can be with and vent to on occasion but besides that you need a friend.  Not just someone to talk to but a genuine friend that will laugh with you, cry with you, and be there for you when you need them to be. Not some person that is jsut there because of something you have and or could give them. First you must find what is making you feel so depressed. Once you have found that think about why you feel this way and telling yourself "I don't know" isn't the answer.  I mean who can you be honest with but yourself first, huh? I did a journal when I felt really down and that nothing was going right and then I tried this.  It helped me so much that I started letting go the bad feelings and bad thoughts and started living without a care about those thoughts again.  If you still are depressed then you may want to find out why and instead of being unhappy start thinking of what got you to this point. Everyone has to hit rock bottom before they can start climbing outta the hole. You aren't there yet but I don't want you there. I want you to be able to be happy and content with everything you do.\n\nGood luck my dear!
443770
I know what you mean that happens....i think your not really over him yet even though you think to your self that you are....i use to think like you, but i know inside that i still like him alot and i can't stand it when some other girls is all over him...don't know why you are feeling that way but that how i felt...\n\nif i where you i'll tell him my feelings and maybe you and him can continue your relationship that you left off....if you want to talk more personal then IM or email me ok
64571
Wow, that's a complicated problem.  It's going to be hard to try to answer this because I can't see the details when I'm typing.  \n\nYou say that you've been alone for about a month, which is long for you, but that you feel good about it.  Considering that you've been in a lot of unhappy relationships, that's probably understandable.  You sound like you're putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself to find "the one" before it's too late.  Then you take out this pressure, in turn, on your boyfriends.  I think in your concern to hurry up and find someone permanent, you're pushing yourself way too fast into relationships, and trying to stake a claim before you really know that you love them (otherwise, you wouldn't get over them in a couple of weeks...)\n\nHowever, knowing this about yourself isn't necesssarily going to help you change.  You could seek counselling, but that's expensive.  Here's what I would do, when I feel like I'm acting in ways that aren't in my best interest (and believe me, that's pretty often): \n\nFirst, take some more time off from relationships to get your head together.  You sound kind of panicky right now, which is not a good state to be in when you're starting to date somebody.  Try to balance yourself a little.\n\nWhen you are in a relationship next, and you want it to work out, you have to think *all* the time about the consequences of all your actions.  Being a good partner is work.  You can't just trust that you're going to act in a way that is good for you and the other person, you have to think about it.  Every morning, think to yourself, "How would I like this day to go?  Do I want to accomplish anything specific in my relationship?"  If you feel like talking about your partner about long term plans, etc., *stop* first and think:  "How is he going to react to this?  We've been dating for X number of weeks.  Is this an appropriate time to ask this question of him?"  \n\nAt the end of the day, think over what you and your partner have done that day, what conversations you have had.  Did anything upset either of you?  Can you do anything constructive to make it better?  Do you see yourself falling into your old patterns?\n\nI guess what I'm saying is, you can't always trust your instincts to work in your own best interests.  You have to put some control back into your mind.  This may not sound very fun, but it's often what relationships need most.\n\nTake your next relationship slowly.  *Think* about the moves you make before you make them.  Give yourself time to fall in love, without worrying for the moment about the future.  If you try too hard to grab it, it'll slip out of your hands.\n\nI don't know if any of this helps you, it's the advice I would (and have, at times) given myself, and it seems to help.  \n\nGood Luck
51102
Blessings.\n\nLove, I sympathize with -- and fear for -- you.\n\nI, too, went through that very same thing (eXcept it was an Army recruiter) when I was in high school. He wasn't married, but he flirted with me often, and he even called my house a couple of times. I daydreamed of him in class, and whenever I saw him, there was this overwhelming sensation (read: butterflies in my tummy) that made me giggly. And yes, when he didn't flirt with me (in front of his fellow officers) and chose to flirt with other girls, it did hurt. I was depressed for a while.\n\nSadly, believe it or not, it took me a long time to realize that he and I were never meant to be anything other than close friends. I was a twelfth (12th) grader (17-years-old), and he was in his mid-30s. That's not to say that age was the biggest factor in deciding to just be friends with him... simply, it's to say that I wasn't mature enough (or ready) to handle a committed relationship such as that at that particular time. Also, I became tired (bored, rather) of feeling angry and/or depressed because of him not acknowledging me around others and because of his flirting. If he was really interested in me, he would've made that known. He never did, and so, I found myself not thinking of him as much as I had. Eventually, whenever I saw him, I just said, "Hello," and walked away.\n\nLater, after his inquiry as to why I was giving him the "cold shoulder", I found out that it was only in fun that he flirted with me. I was under the impression that he actually cared for me in a way that friends normally wouldn't, yet he was under the impression that we were both just "playing". He apologized for leading me on, I accepted his apology, and I have not spoken with him since. Sometimes, it's just miscommunication. I didn't appreciate it, but I got over it. Nonetheless, I *do* sympathize with you. Perhaps there is a way you can communicate what you're thinking before it gets to the point where you're left devastated?\n\nWhile we are sharing a similar eXperience, it is also quite different -- the biggest factor in yours being that he is married and probably has a family. You cannot follow your instincts, your 'gut', or your heart in this situation because it doesn't just involve you and this state trooper. This also involves his wife -- the woman he vowed to love, honor, and respect until death separated them. You must take her feelings and thoughts into consideration. Does his wife even know that he flirts with you? And again, just to make sure you aren't under the assumption that he is joking and not being serious, perhaps you should tell him how you feel. Besides, he can only say one of two things... Yes, I feel the same way about you that you feel about me *OR* No, I don't feel the same way about you that you feel about me. It never hurts to ask... y'kno, for clarification...\n\nAll of that being said, I must admit that I am a bit fearful for you. If this man *is* being serious, I would wonder if he's on the border (and we just don't kno it yet) of being a pedophile. You are only 16... Not even of legal age to do much of anything. I would seriously reconsider what it is you are doing with your life. Do you honestly want to be in a "relationship" with him? I shudder at the prospects. God bless!\n\nHope that helped!
98928
Aww. I went thru this over the summer break last year. And I'm telling you, fr. female to female, the best thing I did was leave him, and in this case that's what I think you should do. Im not even going to lie, it took alot out of me to leave him! Just like your dude he made me feel bad and yet still I gave him chance after chance cause I thought that he would change and that it was just a phase... Unfortunately, it was'nt a phase, this was the real him. A rough, heartless, mean person that put others down to make him feel better. That's not even the worst of it! I thought he was the one for me SOOO much that I went against my family, ALL FOR HIM! My family turned against me cause they wanted me to not be with him so bad! Back then I didnt understand why they kept on acting like that but now I see. They were just looking out for me. And even though I dont know you, I, looking out for you too because I know how it feels to be where your at right now. It feels as if the whole world has turned against you. And that he's the only one who loves you. (Or at least thats how it felt to me!) Thats not true, after you leave him your eyes will be open again and you'll be able to see who really loves you and those are the people that tried to warn you about him. The best thing you can do is leave him. When I left my boy, at the time I felt like I had made a HUGE mistake, but after I start realizing all the other people in life that is there for me and that have my back thru thick & thin, there was really no point for him being in my life. Boys can only give you so much joy for so little time, but what will you do when that joy turns into pain? Or when he leaves you? Your back to the depressed you again? That's not how it's suppose to be. NEVER let a dude determine how your day is going to be or how you look at the world! You should never even look for happiness in boys, this is kinda old school but, the true happiness lies within yourself. If you feel good about yourself, you wont care what NO ONE thinks about you. See how much you can gain if you leave him? Dont worry ok? The right one for you will come along ok? Dont ever let a dude make you question how much your worth! Im sure your a very sweet person that's just feel into one of the traps that most fall into. It's not your fault. But listen, the best part of breaking up with him is the fact that he WILL want you back! That's what happened to me and he STILL is asking for another chance and what do you think I said? NO! Once he breaks your heart he'll always find another way to do so, so why go thru it? Yeah it makes you stronger but other than that its just causing you great pain. I hope a lesson from my experiences help you! Just remember to stay strong!
207054
Hello again Fantasy Foo, I've been were your at, and it's not a good feeling. One good thing about life is....Time heals everything. I was once told: If you love something let it go, if it comes back it's yours...if it don't it never was. If you have the fellas number or you know how to get in contact with him...let him know how you feel, but don't hate on his girl...thats tacky.
507224
Maybe he's trying to make you jealous.\nIn that case, go out, have fun, and act single. Start thinking of you, what you would like to do--hobbies, clubbing, exc. If he is really trying to make you feel jealous it'll bug him, espeically if you \nare seeing someone else too. From his reaction at least you can find out what he really feels. If he really cares or if he's just playing around.
556495
Don't be concerned about how he feels.  It sounds like your conscience is trying to tell you something.  Listen to it.  Don't be a home wrecker.
377810
You are certainly entitled to your feelings of loss and sorrow in this situation.  But there has to come a time when you slowly start to care much much less.  This other person will experience the very same rejection from someone else, that is a guarantee!  Personally, I feel that this person valued you enough to tell you straight from their heart.  So many people we admire take advantage of our vulnerability and use us.  Now imagine the fallout from being left after being used!  This person has honorable intentions.  Your choices are evident.  Either abide by this person's commital of friendship, or make YOUR CHOICE to abandon them due to the fact that, "it just makes you feel better." \nThat is something YOU have complete control over.  YOURSELF and NO ONE should Ever take a front seat over your very precious emotional feelings.  Fix yourself by realizing there are too many others and so little time.  Get busy.  You will also be much more attractive by staying busy.  YOU do have a life of your own.  YOU work people in when you want to! Do not give up the power of you to anyone!  Good Luck
485448
Sorry that happened to you.  That had to be both insulting and hurtful, and you probably feel betrayed.  Understandable.\n\nYour sister probably has some sibling-jealousy issues, in which she needs to do things to "one-up" you in some way.  Her methods lack loyalty and are extremely spiteful and underhanded.\n\nYour boyfriend has demonstrated his loyalty (or lackthereof) and his lack of integirty.  Why is he worth the time of day at this point?  He has shown you his true colors (those don't change) and it would be pointless and self-defeating to make excuses for him.  \n\nPeople's behavior is the biggest "tell" about how they feel about you.  There words don't mean much if they don't match the behavior.  \n\nYou would be ill-advised to waste any more time on this guy.  tell your sister that she can have him, that you can do better.  Remind her that since he did what he did, he is likely to do it again, to her.\n\nWhy would you sit around and wait for him to choose?  Wht would you sit there and wait for ANY guy to decide what YOU are going to do with YOUR life?  You have it all bakwards.....\n\nIn the animal kingdom, it is the females who ultimately choose who will be their mates.  The males compete with pther males to be chosen.  Women are always the choosers, even if guys try to act otherwise.  Men secretly know this, which is why they overcompensate by attempting to dominate women.\n\nHis behavior does not match his words. His ego and need to feel attractive and saught after trumps his integirty and loyalty to you.  You will never be able to change that about him, so don't waste any more time on him.\n\nThere are so many guys out there that would be grateful that you give them the time of day, that you would give them yout time and attention, and feel priveleged to be with you.  They are just waiting there for you to notice them.\n\nDo not overlook a guy because of his physical appearance, social status, or athletic ability.  You may limit yourself from finding potential friends and loves if you judge people with superficial standards.  Remember, beauty fades and dumb is forever.\n\nGet back at him by not letting this destroy you.  Get back at him by thanking him for showing you what type of guys to avoid in the future, thank him for the experience, and thank him for teaching you more about yourself (what you wil and will not accept from someone).  improve your life without him in it.\n\nDo not carry baggage from this.  Drop it off and do not let this make you suspicious and distrustful of all guys in the future.  That would not be fair to all the guys who are not like him.\n\nGood luck and take care~
493578
YOUR HIS TRANSITION GIRL. GET OUT FAST.  HE TOLD YOU HOW HE FELT!  DONT YOU WANT SOMEONE WHO REALLY CARES FOR YOU?  OR WOULD YOU RATHER BE IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS THAN BE ALONE?  I'D RATHER BE ALONE!
671288
It's sounds like for now that's all you guys can be is friends. You can't make someone like you, I know that's tough to swallow but it's so true. There is no magical voodoo spell that you can do, it's either there or it's not. I'm sorry that he doesn't feel the same way that you do but if you want to remain friends you are going to have to let it drop and just value the friendship. You never know what might happen down the road but if you've told him how you feel mulitple times and he has replied with the only friends thing there's not much more you can do without throwing the friendship out the window.\n\nGood luck with everything, I hope it all works out for the best!
618839
Break-ups and crushes, bare names that express what we go thru when this happens to us. You can get thru this! The trick is, allowing your heart to catch up with your mental feelings. Try this. Tonight, write him a letter. If you don't have an address, or a way to make contact, that is OK. Pour all your feelings into this letter. After this, tell yourself you are going to beat this. Mentally, keep reassuring yourself this. You have to have a plan. Now think about what you like to do. Make contact with your friends. Especially the one who makes you laugh. You need her humor to take some of the dark out of your life. Get up in the morning and put the plan in action. Shower, fix your hair, put on something that makes you feel good about you. And get with your friends and hang out. Go to the show, book stores, mall, the baseball field, what ever you want. When you set idol , your  mind will start thinking about him and the hurt will follow. So you have to take full control of your thought pattern. The second you start thinking of him, think about this really cute outfit that you know you will look really hot in. Think about anything, but him. Stay as busy as possible. Run in the evening or go to the gym and never look back. This will help time to fly by. You are going to have lots of fun. And the best of it all is your heart is going to heal and when he comes home, he is going to be so sorry he treated you like this. Guys have a tendency to think we woman will just wait around fo them, but we don't anymore. By the next time you see him, you will of probably had several encounters with some of those "other fish in the sea" that people talk about. Remember, your self worth of you, is more important thanwhat others think. The better you feel about you, it will become sooo obvious to everyone around you, how great a person you are. That feeling you hate so much, will die off as soon as you step up the beat. Go Girl!!!