my 2 1/2 yr olds father and i have been together of and on for 5 yrs he likes to play cards and gamble untill all hour of the night without calling recently going out to drink or fish with work friends he says i can't make him feel something like affection but he loves me he has stated that he is not attractid to me anymore that his money is his money (i stay home with kids because he says he wants me to stay home) I love him but sometimes wonder if i only want him to stay because it would be to hard to see him with someone elts like why could he want someone elts not me we have only had sex mabye 3 times in the last 5 months and i feel very self contious when we do
212678
I think you should both go to couples counseling to determine the problem. It sounds to me like you shouldnt be together, but counseling would determine that.
379868
He may well love his daughter but you say you've been together 7 years which have not been good so, maybe he's thinking about the long term and would rather be an absent loving father than a present one in a less than pleasant scenario. Test of the situation will be if he maintains her and has regular visits and contact. As a mother, I could not have done that but some do from the very best of motives for the well being of the child they have to leave. To be a tad harsh.........I get the impression he is leaving you, not your and his daughter. Sometimes a loving but absent parent is kinder to the child in the long term.
129079
Before you give up ask yourself a few questions..is he working all those hours to benefit us as a family or to get away from home. Could he be unhappy also and not wanting to be a family unit. Next talk with him in a calm manner and ask him these questions after you have already answered them for yourself. From there see if this is going to be the best thing for your child as a whole and also you. Will you regret leaving and wished you would have stayed. Right now your lonely and think you would be better off alone but think of the long term and not the short term.............
334327
Reading some of the replies you got here today you got a lot of good advice.  How is your relationship ? That should be the first thing you think about. Does he feel obligated or quilted by you to stay around because of your daughter? Do you say things to him like if you don;t stay here you won't see your kid?  Does the only time he pays attention to you is when & if you can get him alone in the bedroom ? Girlfriend, if your answer is yes to one or more of hese above questions you don't have a good relationship.   Its just an obligation thing..\n\nJust because you think you want to have sex all the time does not qualify you as a sex accident or even a nympho.  Darling if he ain't intrested in anything your trying then you better move on.. Be careful out there & use protection at 21 you don't need another kid or any dieseases. \n\nPutting your child in front of the tv for entertainment ain't to healthy either.  Maybe thats what he is uncomfortable with.. Why not ask him . Plan a date night, get someone to watch your child for a couple of hours, go out so something fun together, you never know he just may want to stay home & have sex.. Some people can't relax when they know their kid is up , maybe doesn't like to get interupted during sex or have the kid walk in on you or start crying.  Nothing like a good crying to ruin a good hard on.
30572
To me if he keeps playing with you he dosen't take you seriously. Or maybe he's just afraid to tell you what he is really feeling. You should have a talk with him and just lay everything on the tableto see what's really going on.
171678
im sure he appreciates you, he just doesn't know how  to show it.  I know how you feel, so here's some tips that might help:\n\n-tell him you feel over worked and you know his job is demanding but maybe he can find or make time to help out and spend time with you and his kid.\n\n-tell him he can help out by picking up after himself, and doing laundry or dishes or cook once in awhile.\n\n-show him you do do things and that you take care of your kid.\n\n-tell him you feel unappreciated,ask him to say thanks once in a while or that flowers would be nice.\n\n-if worse comes to worse ask him to chang eor start looking for a new job with more flexible hours.\n\ntry to remember he loves you and that you do alot, try to get him to share in the work.  if he doesn't change you could hire a house cleaner to help you out, i dont know what else you can do, good luck!  i hope it works out!\n-get him to try to change his hours at work or take days off or even go in late or go home early once in awhile.\n\n-let him know how you feel and remind himbeing a father an husband comes first before his job, help him relize what hes missing out on.\n\n-
147137
He is using you. You tell him how you feel yet he doesnt reply but he will reply with sex. What is that telling you. He is using you and taking advantage of your "love". And you in return are thinking that he might love you or fall in love with you if you give him sex. Dont sell yourself short honey. MOVE ON QUICKLY before you end up pregnant and alone. You will be alone because he only wants you for sex and when it gets too complicated he is gone.
101168
I feel for you, thats a tough spot to be in. However any man who doesn't want to get close to your kids isn't worth your time no matter how great he treats you. It might be a sign that he doesn't want to commit as much as you want.... any man who truely loves you would want to be part of your life in everyway, and your kids are a big part.
625336
Sounds like your dad has issues for real.But there is nothing you can really do except accept that he is the parent and you are the child.Sometimes parents really mess up.But you can sit him down and talk to him about how it makes you feel.Maybe his love for you will make the difference.If not make him stop,maybe at least make him take it in another room so you won't be exposed.
99012
U've been together a very long time U may just be in a rut U need to sit down and talk to him ie husband and let him know how ur feeling + let him know hes not ur father and that u earn 1/2 the money so u should be able to spend when u want something
519561
You are only feeling the way you do because of the idea of leaving everything that you have come to know and love. I am alot older than you I am sure, but I have moved about 8 times when I was young. We as kids had no say in where we were going and I for one hated everytime we moved I had just made new freinds. If your father feels like this is the best thing for the family and it will improve whatever lifestyle you have I say relax , go with the flow and when you are old enough to get out on your own and you really don't like where you are you can make that change. But as for right now, If it is going to make all of your lives better I say go for it. Seems like your parents are doing whats best for the whole family and KUDOS to DAD for including everyones say in the matter. Good Luck!
94955
He wants to feel younger, wants some excitement, wants to be wanted again.  Have a nice long chat with him about this and explain your feelings and ask what you can do to fulfill his needs.  If he says nothing, tell him you would divorce him because of these actions and that they really hurt you, so he needs to stop doing this.  \n\nHis actions will lead to affairs if he continues and if it hasn't already.
521706
for myself I my bofriend for being supportive and having alot of energy in him although his 4 yrs.younger than me he always try to make me feel young. He says age doesn't matter babe, what matters is that we share a child together and that this baby was created by the love we have for each other. And honey your all the women that I need. we always have our wrestling matches and of course he wins. but it's the fire that keeps on burning that makes a relationship keeps going.
279084
HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!!!!!   and there is nothing wrong with you!!!!  I'm sorry if this will hit you hard, but from what you are saying something is definetly wrong with this guy, and he is just using you!!   If he is telling you to get away, then you may need to make some Big changes with yourself and your baby
232176
I don't intend to me mean, but it sounds like the issue is yours and not his.  Okay - so he isn't as affectionate, but he sounds affectionate enough.\n\nHe isn't the same guy he was years ago.  Let's face it, the testosterone levels of a 20-yr. old would kill him today.  His body just couldn't take it.\n\nLook - talk to him about it - let him know your needs.  It sounds like he will do what he can to accommodate.  However, if he really loves you and takes good care of your kid, you have it better than 90% of the rest of us.  Be happy in that.\n\nGood luck.\nC
116747
Once the love is gone there is nothing to stay for. If you do it for the kids then they see you unhappy NOT GOOD. You need to learn to be on your own cause him forcing you to kiss him can turn into forcing you to have sex and that is rape, even by a husband. Tickling isn't abusive it's affection and laughter unless one is complaining about not wanting to be touched in certain areas. As for you honey you have to leave for your own sanity. If your not happy and love doesn't exsist anymore your only making yourself miserable by staying. I know cause I'd like to leave my situation as well but my finances are 0 and I have no job. So I know where your coming from on that end, it's not easy as it sounds. I'll pray for you and you pray for yourself lets let GOD handle the fools. GOD BLESS
442577
I think it sounds like you are using him for all his "treats and gifts". This must make you feel good, but think what he must think if you don't feel the way he does.