After a week of "getting to know you" she invited me to her apartment on a friday and we had sex.  Saturday afternoon, a boyfriend (whom i had no idea existed, i thought she was single) proposed to her.  The following Tuesday she asked me over again and we had sex again. (yes after he proposed and no i didn't know at this point) That friday (3 days later)is when she told me she was engaged.  The following tuesday (which was last night) she had me over again and we had sex. She's capable of making her own decisions and it's her who invites me over.  Even still, should i take the high ground and tell her we can't have sex anymore or just keep enjoying it.  We are both distance athletes (swimmer and runner) so the sex is great. 2 hour+ sessions and multiple orgasms. years from now i want to be "that guy that made me so happy for that time in my life" and not "that guy i made that huge mistake with" and have her filled with guilt.  Ladies (and guys) let me know what you think.
218227
Just think of it as great sex.  \n\nMove on.  \n\nShe is carrying more than the great body -- she is conflicted in her head.\n\nGreat sex does not equal a great relationship.\n\nNow, as to the guy.  What if he is the jealous type.  do you want him to show up and cause you problems.
391738
It isn't significant how many times they had sex, neither is his size... this is information that will not help you in any manner. What is important is that you don't believe her, that you obviously don't trust her. She sought out an emotional release that she couldn't get from anyone else, that she was unable to ask of you. If you want to forgive her, seek counseling, individually and together, and don't be impatient, it took time for it to graduate to the point you are now, it will take time to heal.
502765
I did this once, and it changed everything.  We are still friendly, but not the friends we used to be.  Give him some time, and see what happens.  Most likely he just needs you to back off a little bit.  If it's just friends with benefits, sending notes about how wonderful he is is probably not a good idea.  Would you have sent something like that to him before the sex?  Probably not.  So don't do it now. Act the same way as you always have.  That was your agreement and you have to stick by it now.
377382
Please dont marry her.As far as i learnt your story I came to conclusion that both of you have interest only in a sex based relation.For you marriage is not necessary to continue that.\nAs long as she holds this interest please continue to enjoy that and the free accomodation as well!!\nIf it is not a fantacy story reveal the location you stay and give your house owner a chance for more enjoyments!
165456
'he got caught up in some bullshit and ended up having sex with one of my friends................just read that back and see if it makes any sense!!!!!!\n\nNOBODY gets 'caught'up in something that makes them commit the ultimate no-no.  WIse up - people do things because they want to and they think that they can get away with it.  The reason he has called you again out of the blue is a slight mystery but trust me if he had realised what a mistake he'd made and wanted to get you back he would have done that 24 hours after the event.  He's just bored and is seeing how far he can go with you.  This whole episode is probably to hype his ego that he could get you back again no matter how badly he has behaved.\n\nDo yourself a favour and show him the door with a very large size 9 up his backside as he leaves.\n\nEveryone is worth more than this.  You have to toughen up and not let people rule your future.  If they bring you love and happiness let them in - if not get rid of them....for good!!!!!\n\nHard but true.\n\nGood Luck!!
574127
I was 19.  She was 17.  Yeah, I realized the age at the time.  We were friends before.  I won’t get into that here.  We got together.  We messed around a lot - mostly making out, petting and a lot of oral.  She kept expressing how much she wanted to do it.  I just didn’t know if it was the right time.  Primarily it was because we never had any contraception around. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted it badly.  I didn’t even care if it was going to be my first time.  I wasn’t nervous.  I just wanted to be safe for both of us.  She had only one other partner, a long-term boyfriend that she broke it off with.  She kept asking me to “go for it” in all our other encounters.  This time, in the heat of it, when she asked me to make love to her, I whispered, “Go for it.”  Then she stripped herself then me.  We still didn’t have ANY form of contraception.  But the time was right.  Go figure. After we both climaxed, she was so satisfied but puzzled.  We went for a while.  She kept asking me … and this was a question that she kept asking me during our entire relationship … was I really a virgin.  I said yes.  That was the truth.  She said she’s had a virgin.  Her friends have had virgins.  And none worked it like I did.  I told her I wouldn’t know. I just went with what I felt and what felt good for the both of us.  I don’t know what the big deal was but shortly thereafter; she harbored this idea that I had a mistress on the side that I “practiced” with. (Her long-term boyfriend did.) Needless to say we went several rounds that day … and night … and following morning.  But, alas, the whole relationship was just that – based on sex.  No emotional connection at all.  It ended.\n\nSo I guess my point is that your first time is a big deal, but the euphoria and importance of it will fade and just become a memory.  Don’t make it more than it is, just a right of passage for any human being, the emotional creatures we are.\n\nGood luck
557014
This happened when me and my boyfriend first moved in together.  No one is to blame, you are just getting used to seeing sides of eachother you hadn't before.(you are prob both driving each ohter a little crazy, right? ) And now that you living together its not like you come over for a few hrs and she devotes all her attention to you and then you go home.  You both have to get used to not always being in the center of each others attention.  As for the sex, if you see each other everyday she doesn't have to  worry about the next time she is going to get it.. so it becomes less of a priority....  It will get better in time ..give it a month or 2..... if it doesn't I'd definately bring it up to her.. just dont place any blame... good luck and I hope it works out for you :)
580968
SNAP!!!!!!\n\ndid the same thing with a guy i met on her too. stayed up all hours just chatting about stuff and listing old songs! \n\nok, here's what i think. when you meet someone you just 'click' with, it is easy to get carried away with yourself and be consumed with it all. thats not to say that there is not anything serious there. all i am saying is reality is often different to fantasy.\n\nme and the guy i'm still chatting too met a couple of weeks ago. he is a great guy but i think we both felt that reality was a little different. we still chat and i am due to see him again shortly.\n\nwhat we decided was to take things slowly, get to know eachother better as friends as see what develops from that. it's the most sensible option i think.
461858
From what you described, I think it was the only choice.  And why should you feel guilty?  She's the one sleeping with other guys.  Sounds like you fell for a ho.  She did you a favor. Get on with your life and never look back.
507678
Ya know it really depends on the type of "relationship" you guys have, some cases yes and some no, it depends on how you express yourself, if you guys have had sex then no i wouldn't think it was about that because duh, you've already done it, but if u havejn't had sex and u've kinda brought it up a few times then it's possible she might think that, just lay it down like it is, tell her u just want to spend time with her and get to know her better on a more personal level, and tell her no it's not that u want to get in her pants and that u guys could even sleep in separate beds (if it's that big of a deal) but either way, i'd go, good luck with tht and just remember, it's all in the way you give hte proposition!
584006
When you slept with him it genuinely looked like she was not interested anymore. You were not being a tart you thought this was going to develop into something more. I would just put it down to experience and forget about it now. Take care x
404395
Well, if she really cares about you, then some stupid pact she made would be null and void! Duh! If she cheats, then oh well for her. I'm sorry, I really am. But honestly, if she does have sex with this guy, then you need to break up with her. Ultimatums are wrong. So, tell her go and have fun, but you just know what you have to do if she comes back with the news of her little pact continuing for yet another break- even though she claims to be in this relationship and it means a lot to her. If it really did, then it wouldn't even be an issue. I mean, why have sex with him, when she has you- someone who cares about her, who doesn't just want sex? There really isn't anything YOU can do. It all seems to be left up to her at this point. I hope she makes the right decision. But hey, if she doesn't, then it just wasn't meant to be. trust me- there are girls out there for you to fall in love with, who won't even consider sleeping with another guy! You need to go find her, in the case that this one cheats. Honestly, I wouldn't trust her anymore! I mean, how could you? She basically told you she's going to cheat on you. I mean, damn, come on.
101184
if that's what she wanted to do then that's her although I've never experienced that before, I dont even want my boyfriend to see me having sex or do sexual things with someone else, and most definately dont want him to do it, but like i said she shouldnt feel bad because you gave her permission, but once you two get into an argument dont bring that up because you told her that it was cool, and if she ever want to do it again, you already gave her permission, how could you let another guy touch her anyways, or let her touch another guy? I cant see it, if my boyfriend's gone be with someone else, he's going to sneak and do it
60104
Gotta be honest, I think your being played.  How do you think she would react if you asked to spend two weeks with another woman???  She's already made up her mind and is just stringing you along.
335247
Take a break. You've been betrayed. \nGo away for a little while, maybe, but this one is going to take some time, if ever.\nStop imagining that she was having sex like she does with you.\nDon't do that to yourself, because I guarantee it wasn't. Only the two of you have sex like the two of you.\nCan you handle the answer if you ask her to give you a blow- by-blow description of the night? A sort of "putting yourself in her shoes" for the night?\nIt's risky, but if you can listen, It just may benefit you so you can be angry, and then move on either way.\nShe should be ashamed of herself, and getting angry at her once and blasting her does not relieve her of the tremendous weight she's put on you.\nYou may never be able to trust her again. That sucks for you, because you had no part in it, and want things the way they were.\nWas there a problem that wasn't being addressed before this night?\nDoes anyone have their head buried in the sand??\nYou may need to take this time to get right into each others brains and decided what each of you REALLY wants out of life.\nPlease don't make the same mistake she did. You'll hate yourself.\nI can say that it is not the worst thing that can happen, but it is way up there.\nShe betrayed you, plain and simple. maybe she should live without you for a while and the two of you can really see where you're at. get yourself some legal assistance so you don't lose touch with your child.
646030
If it is the first time for both of you to have sex, may I suggest taking things slow.  Especially if it is her first.  Alot of my friends didn't care much for sex at first because their first partner's were too rough and not the most considerate.   And I think any lady out there would also suggest taking things slow.  It's not a race.  Enjoy yourself and for god's sake use a condom.  Communication is good too, make sure you are both cool with whats going on.  \n\nMy first time I remember it feeling like my head was a blur and I was a bit dizzy, but It was a good feeling.
670154
I think this is pretty much a done deal.  You can't go back and change it.  Consider it a lesson learned.  Never mix work and sex.\nNow, put on a happy face, go back into work, and don't let it happen again.