my boyfriend had a car accident 2 months ago. at the beginning he stay possitive, he was 1 month in hospital and got a hip operation. now, since 2 weeks ago he is loosing interest in everything, wants to be leaved alone, fights with his closet friends and family and so on. I suggest him to visit a psicologist and he agreed he need it and he will do it but where we live is going to take long to get an appointment with a professional. what can I do minwhile?
213227
Man needs space. Man must eat. Man stupid.\n\nGetting him to see a psicologist is a great move. He needs it.\nIn the meantime, talking to him about it will help. It always does help to talk about it. I tip my hat for you, you are there for him in his hour of darkness. You need to be strong and patient as well, this might take a while. Good Luck to you both.
551532
You can get him back to the doctor for more help.  If he won't go you should leave him.  He has been wasting his life and yours for 3 or 4 years.  Is that fair?  You are not his mommy - he needs to grow up and get back on track.  Can he work in this state or are you aupporting him?  To be honest he sounds like he is mentally ill or doing something stronger than pot.  Don't stay in this abusive situation. You deserve something better.
94788
Get him a psychiatric evaluation as he may be a danger to himself your doctor can help with this.\n\nCounselling where he can talk thru his problems\n\nBe understanding and let him know how wonderful you think he is & how much you admire him, not just by telling him but by your actions to him.\n\nTry to build up his self esteem, he may have a low opinion of himself.\n\nIs he blaming himself for something like a divorce or a death? \n\nIs he being bullied physically or mentally\n\nCould he be taking drugs? - Some drugs can cause suicidal feelings\n\nHe needs help, your first step should be to talk to his doctor, before he does kill or seriously hurt himself or others\n\n~Good Luck
618551
Just reassure him that you love him, and what would you do without him, leave it at that, and he may realize that he not only hurt himself. he needs professional help, and needs to know that know one is worth suicide, why dint people realize this???? if they can so freely love you one minute, and then as quick change their minds, they are not worth it, especially if over a new person in their life, and the pattern may continue, he should have realized, it is not worth it. i hope he Will recover without too much damage..good life...........
216267
He needs to go to his family physician and talk about how he feels.  The phyiscian will refer him to a specialist if needed.
434555
support and him and tell him taht you want to be with him and don't want to give up...tell him you'll be here every step of the way..encourage him to seek a therapist who can help him...maybe give him a few days but tell him you're not going to leave for good...
612415
Many people self-harm at some point in their lives, normally as a result of depression or mental trauma. This is a way of "letting the pain out" nothing like a suicide attempt. So the psychologist is kind of right, your friend's life is not currently threatened.\n\nI worked in an NHS adult psychology department, and we were told to tell new referrals that the first appointment would be in 2 months, when normally they would be seen in a month or six weeks.\n\nDon't let your friend miss his appointments, as he won't get any more if he does. Just be supportive, let him know that you care and will help him through this hard patch that won't last forever (even though it may feel like it right now) and don't worry too much about the self-harming. Unless a wound gets infected it isn't life-threatening and will probably inhibit a suicide attempt.
574884
Well done for realising you have a problem, that is the first step in the right direction, and so is asking for help too. I think you should see your doctor who can help you or reffer you to someone else who is trained in dealing with such conditions. You need to think positively, relax, and deep breathe when you think you may hurt someone. Walk away from any situation you fear may lead  you want to hurt someone. Remind your self it is not acceptable to hurt someone and that you are a nice person. Take more control in what you do by being a positive you. Has anything ever happened to you in the past to make you want to hurt someone else?? You need to ask yourself why do I want to hurt that person? Then realise what you are thinking and control it. I know it may sound easy, but it will not be. The more you do not give in the easier it will become over time, but you do need to see your doctor to get advice. Hope all will turn out well.
498589
Your problem is an example of one of those problems that one puts up with for too long, because it seems like a smaller problem than it really is, and because to a normal person, your requests for change seem so reasonable (and they are).  I've been a clinical social worker for about 8 years, and I've seen this problem.  But I'll tell you up front that there is no real "cure" for the situation you're in.  \n\nIt's a big deal if you can't trust your mate.  It's stressful.  You have to think and plan and act for two (him and you), rather than for just yourself, and you can't count on him to pitch in if something comes up.  For these reasons and more, you don't trust him anymore.  \n\nYou may even wonder if he's doing it deliberately for some reason.  Sadly, in many situations like this, the unreliable person is doing it on purpose, because you've brought it to his attention, right?  If your bf was more trustworthy earlier in your relationship than he is now, why would that be?  Is he ill, or experiencing pressures so great that he simply cannot cope with ordinary competence?  If not, it's likely that he's being passive-aggressive.  \n\nOne of the things that I'm sure that keeps your head spinning is that he claims "it was just an accident," "it's no big deal," "I won't do it again," and you want to believe him, but it just gets worse.  \n\nSuch behavior is common enough that mental health professionals are studying it further for possible inclusion in diagnostic books (such as the ICD and the DSM).  The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) calls it Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder, or Negativistic Personality Disorder.  \n\nThe cardinal features of this disorder are intentional ineffectiveness and unacknowledged hostility, evidenced by:\n\n--appearing superficially submissive and cooperative.\n--will not say "no" to a request, but indirectly expresses resistance to demands by thwarting and frustrating authorities, spouses, and partners.  \n--frequent negative communication including "backhanded compliments," subtle attacks, blaming others for problems, insulting, complaining/whining, and fault-finding, especially when confronted.\n--denial of most emotions (particularly negative ones), denial of own role in conflicts.\n--displays ambivalence about responsibilities and commitments.\n--frequently sullen, envious and resentful of others.\n--sabotages obedient behavior with tardiness, dawdling, sloppiness, "accidental" errors, procrastination, forgetfulness, incompleteness, withholding of critical information, and an excessively leisurely work pace.  \n\nOf course everybody displays a few of these occasionally, but if your bf practices several of these behaviors or attitudes consistently over time, and it causes problems with employers or mates, then it's a problem.  Hints: If there is a spotty work history, mysterious "layoffs" or firings from work, and few close friends, you can bet he plays this game with others too.  \n\nWhat could your bf be getting out of this behavior?  At least two things.  By being a screw-up, he guarantees that people won't burden him with responsibilities.  Also, this may be a lifelong habit of his, a thing that he does to get sub rosa revenge on people whose demands annoy him.  It may have started with his parents, and he never quit.  \n\nMy heart goes out to you, because the one thing you request -- "What can I do to help him change this?" is the one thing you can't do.  You can't change him.  He must change himself.  You might be able to facilitate this change, but it will require you to stick your neck out, take risks, and uncompromisingly stand up for yourself.  \n\nAre you willing to end this relationship if your bf doesn't change his behavior?  Or are you willing to have a boyfriend and possible fu
191223
This could happen IF you had been either admitted into or were temporarily held at a mental hospital or a mental health respite/crisis treatment center and the community mental health center (CMHC) had a direct connection/agreement with the organization that also runs the CMHC.  I've had a client this happened to. Because she presented to the hospital for a bit, the medical information is already in their system which put her on a priority list for treatment because she'd recently been treated for a crisis. It was a helpful in for her to get services quickly. Something like that probably happened to you.
92872
if he can't deal with your health issues, then let him go...  odds are, the mental problem will be around longer than him... \njust my opinion though...  you gotta do what feels right for you...
301716
If you have not experienced PTSD, it's hard to explain the feeling.  If you know any older citizens who served in the Gulf War,  Vietnam War or even World War II, for instance, you can ask them about being "shell shocked", or PTSD.  For some people it never goes away.  I know from experience (an almost fatal auto accident that crippled me and took my professional life away at no fault of my own) that it's still there, under the surface, after 5 years.  However, I made myself get in the car and deal with it.  I think your b/f is on the right track and I'm impressed that he's willing to face his greatest fears.  You go ahead and encourage him every way you can and let him be a man and have a full life again without being co-dependent on anyone else.  He doesn't need to be an emotional cripple. What would he do if you weren't there to drive him??  He'll be proud of himself before long.  A pat on the back goes a long way.  So he might have stressful moment or two; he can learn to deal with it and get stronger and should continue to get professional help as long as he needs it.  He probably is feeling guilty as hell because he lived; not to mention every thing else involved.  Let him go...give him a nudge and hold him when he needs it.  Encourage him to help others with this problem.  Helping is great healing therapy for him and others.  He'll be living with this for a long time.  God bless you both.
158954
You keep asking for help. People have answered with great advice. But you take no action to get the help you need. We can do no more for you now. IT IS ALL UP TO YOU NOW! Make a decision to go to the doctor and get some professional help. YOU have to decide to do what is best for you and your situation. Why keep asking if you are not going to take action. I could be helping some else who really wants help instead of spending it on someone who can't reach the correct decision to simply go to a trained professional. Good luck and Goodbye!
130205
Hi Bob.\nI'm sorry for all the problems you've had.  I can make a suggestion but you might not be ready to hear it.\nYour question is "Can anyone cure me?"--so you want the work taken away from you.  No matter what the illness is, or who you turn to for help, you have to take responsibility for your own healing. The question is, "Can you help me heal myself?"  Any healing takes work and dedication.  If you have a headache, no one's going to walk up to you and hand you an aspirin.  You have to say, "Hey, anyone got an aspirin I can have?" That's vocalizing your need.\nIf inside your belief is that healing is from an outside source that has nothing to do with you, it's not going to happen.  It requires your participation.  And not going to someone and saying "Can you fix me?"  It's not about someone else fixing you. You aren't a car with a bad carburetor.  It's about saying, "I'm in mental and physical pain and I need help.  What can I do, what can WE do, to help me overcome this pain?"  Do you see the difference? It's HUGE change in thinking.\nIt also sounds like you are fighting very hard against your illnesses, and fighting causes stress, and stress will make you feel worse.\nIf you go around saying "Look at me, I'm mentally ill" people will treat you accordingly.  I see this with my own father. He has Alzheimer's.   Sometimes he tries to get into a discussion with strangers because he's still a friendly guy, and they'll look at him a little funny because he can't talk correctly anymore. Once I explain his condition people's demeanor toward my dad totally change.  A woman who had been looking at my dad as if he was some kind of stupid idiot when he didn't move out of the way of a moving vehicle, took his arm very nicely and called him "dear" after I explained.  My point isn't that you have Alzheimer's (you're way too young) but that people's perceptions of you, and therefore how they treat you, comes from what they are TOLD about you.\nI have been through lots of therapy myself and I also do healing work and I'm giving you my perspective.  \nI hope that you find the help you need and that you are able to become whole once again.  I also hope that you do not choose suicide. Not because I think it's wrong, but because I think your problems can be overcome.
320090
If the doctor won't let her leave then he thinks she is in danger. Do not let her out. She needs to remain hospitalized until she is stable and diagnosed. Have them sedate her if need be.
452935
Sounds like your girlfriend isn't really in a "fun" mood right now, friend. Honestly, just be there for her. There is nothing you can say or do to help her get over such serious traumas, so always be ready to lend an ear or a hand. I promise this is help you guys get closer, and by the time she's ready to move on with her life, you'll have a better relationship than you would have without any og this.
135721
I am mentally ill. I can say it. I have had to endure 30 brain surgeries and I suffer, believe me- I SUFFER- some lingering side effects of it. The surgery was for a birth deffect that wasn't detected til I was 19. \n I now suffer from severe bio-polar disorder and, without my meds, I can have mild schitzophrenic tendencies .  Ok, cool. As Long as I knowwww what is wrong with me and how to treat it, I'm ok. I can handle it. \n\n   This person in your house, that might or might not have mental problems, may not even realize they have a problem. I know it took 3 years for us to decide/realize what was wrong with me.  Ever hear of an intervention. or are you the only one who feels this person has a problem? \n    No , you don't have the right to tell someone to 'get off the drugs' when they aren't on any and you KNOW that for a fact. ( Maybe tell them to start taking the RIGHT ones..it took me 8 years to get to the right 'cocktail' of meds I am on now so that I don't talk to the trees and don't cry when they don't answer me. LOL its not thaaat bad,  just kidding  a little But it does take time and cooperation on EVERYONE's part. ) Go to the person , offer what you've observed and offer to HELP said person get the help that they NEED, or to at least see someone and determine if they need anything. It sounds simple, but it isn't. I know. I had to hospitalize my husband twice in the first year we were married before we got him properly diagnosed/medicated for bipoler problems. It stinks and its hard, but up front is the only way to go. Just don't let that person doubt your love and  support for them. \nBy the way... you don't wanna know what all I am on!!