i and girl friend live togethor with my son,her daughter and fiance.daughters wedding invitation is for i and girl friend .daughter and my son do not get along .is son not invited.i am upset about this if yu live in same house no matter what should yu invite that person too? girl friend treats son badly too.not kids 23 son,25,daughter.should i not go to wedding?need a little help here.
210561
If I were you and my girlfriend treated my son badly, I would get out of the relationship.  Oh, I wouldn't go to the girlfriend's daughter's wedding either.
73031
The girlfriend has no right to be there.  If fact the girlfriend has no rights whatsoever when it comes to your child, even if the ex and she get married.  I am guessing that your son is in the hospital because he is sick (or has some major medical issues) and therefore the extra stress of someone being there that is not wanted isn't doing your son any good.  If she cares about your son at all, she will respect his wishes.  What I am wondering however is how old is your son?
344574
Show your fiance all the answers, but especially let her read mine.  I will address it to her.  I am 52, I have been divorced for about 12 years now.  I virtually raised my 3 kids on my own. I love them will all my heart.  I never forced them to clean up their rooms. I never forced them to wash the dishes.  I allowed them to have free will...in short I really didnt put many boundaries in their lives at all.  My son is 19....he still lives with me, and hes an absolute pig, he treats me like a maid.  I come home from work and dishes are piled up in the sink, so the first thing I do is clean up after him.  I work long hours and I dont need to do it, but its all my fault...he has no respect for me and when I ask him to pull his weight we end up in an arguement, so its easier for me to just clean up after him.  I now have my 26 year old daughter living with me now after her relationship broke down.  She is just the same....she does nothing.  I am responsible for 2 grown adults who should be responsible for themselves and I only have myself to blame.  I was too soft on them and now I am paying the price.  They love me, I have no doubt about that, but they certainly do not respect me.  I would love a man to come into my life and give me a break and take some responsibility off my shoulders.  I would love to have a man like your fiance who loves you enough to want to work out solutions to this situation.  Your children are rude and they need to show respect.  Your fiance is right in everything he wants to do.  If you dont allow him to be the man of the house and take responsibility then it will be you and your kids against him for the rest of your lives and it will eventually destroy your relationship.\n\nFor this to work, you have to work with your fiance, you have to show a united front because as soon as you show you dont agree, then your kids have got you where they want you, and your fiance wont stand a hope in hell of bringing this family together.  It has nothing to do with the father, you should not be discussing anything with him.  This is yours and your fiance's life and if the kids are going to live there in harmony, then the only thing you need to consider is how the kids, you and your fiance can live in peace...and that has nothing to do with father.  If it hurts you too much to see your fiance take charge and put in boundaries....then walk away.  Tell your daughter that you dont want to talk to her without your fiance present because you and your fiance are now partners and if she is unhappy, then he needs to be involved as well.  Im telling you now taking the hard line with your daughters now will have immense benefits for everyone's future.  You should be so happy that you have a man who loves you enough to work through these problems...but it has to be with you, not against each other.  A lesser man would put it in the too hard basket and not marry you.  You are a lucky woman.  Dont let your kids ruin your relationship.  They need to be taught some manners.
566829
Explain your situation to Erin.  If you are close enough friends that she picked you to be her maid of honor then she will understand.  You can't spend the money if you do not have it.  When I got married, my maid of honor did not come to my bachelorette party.  We went to St Louis to party downtown.  She is already married and has a son and is in her 30's.  Partying is just not her thing.  I completely respected that and did not expect her to come.  She did not come and we are still best friends to this day, 5 years later.  It did not hurt my feelings or bother me one bit that she did not want to come.  Your friend will understand too.  Good Luck:)
97867
Sorry, but welcome to being a stepmom...yep, you'll have to invite her and pray she declines, unless the kids are old enough for their father, not you, to explain that it might not be such a happy thing for their mom to watch him get married again.
298833
I am 21, when I got married my mother and my fiance's parents split the cost. Neither could afford the whole thing on their own. I got married at a chapel that offered in house photography (which is the most expensive and the most important thing about the day in my opinion). It hurt that I couldn't have the the huge wedding because there simply wasn't the money. My advice would be to definitely do what you can afford and only that. But do what you can afford. No less. No matter how frivolous you may think it is, you should offer to do all you can for the most important day of your daughter's life. That being said, there is no need to do ridiculously lavish things like fireworks at the wedding, or a 10 layer cake. Pick your battles here. The dress is going to be expensive, when she finds one she loves, let her have it no matter what the cost but make sure she knows the budget. If the budget is $10,000 and she wants a $5,000 dress she needs to know how much that leaves her. My fiance and I made our own invitations with a computer kit we bought. It was $25 at walmart and they turned out beautiful. \nHer fiance doesn't need to be pressuring you. If he wants more than you can afford tell him point blank he will have to get it somewhere else. Money can be an uncomfortable subject but you have to be upfront about how much you can afford. Ask what kind of wedding your daughter has in mind, a simple beachfront wedding, a huge cathedral wedding,etc. That can also help you figure out how much you will need to spend. Before you plan a budget, discuss the things that are most important and the things that could be simplified (invitations, the ceremony site,etc). Look around at different locations and offer help where it is asked for and make sure your daughter knows you are willing to help her in any way needed. The grooms family is supposed to pay for the rehearsal dinner so if he wants to impress friends tell them they can go all out then. The wedding traditionally falls on the brides parents but nowadays its up to whoever can pay. Bring both families together to discuss payment. And only pay what you can.\n\nAs to the other suggestions here: the brides family typically pays for the wedding. That includes flowers and liquor. So don't be petty about those things. You don't need liquor at the reception as that can drive costs through the roof. If you want liqour there have a cash bar instead of an open bar, or not at all. Depending on where you have the wedding,they may not allow liquor to be served.\n\nAs for an elopement, please don't encourage this. Your family will hate that they weren't included in the wedding amd couldn't see their neice/cousin/grandchild get married. As will you. Don't you think you will wish that you got to see them get married? Don't encourage that.\n\nYou didnt say whether or not your daughter has a career or not, so if she does and can afford to pay for the wedding I agree she should help out but as a gift to the married couple,it would be nice if you were to help out. But sometimes it takes a little longer to get a career together, so if she doesnt have one you should definitely help. But if she does have one and you choose to help, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Even if she was 40 and you were paying, there is nothing wrong with that.
332962
Yep!  I wouldn't invite her.  Just be prepared to answer her when she asks why.  I think it is VERY INCONSIDERATE when friends cancel plans with friends for a better deal or for other non-emergency reasons.
365825
You don't want your daughter around at times, so that gives you the perfect reason to be an acquaintance instead of friend.  Besides, is she refuses to support you in the way you need a friend to, she isn't a friend.  \n\nSince you know she isn't your best friend, let her be a friend in name only and cultivate new friendships.  Be kind and tolerant when around her to keep peace in the family.\n\nIt's really hard, but you must take care of yourself and your child.
513986
Yes it should bother you.  Dont be so selfish, suck it up and go to the wedding.  I am sure you can show up to both\n\nYou dont have to stay all night at the wedding reception.  \n\nIf you miss their wedding dont expect them to show up for yours.
407519
Hi, \nI'm sorry to hear that your daughter is not thinking of you & just doing what her boyfriend wants. This really sounds like my daughters boyfriend. I would not cater to him or her. Just be polite & don't try to please him. I'm sure that you told her how you feel. If not then I would do that before the holidays. No matter how he is she is the one going along with spending the holidays with him & his family. So, even though he seems like a jerk, she is being insensitive to you & your husband. Tell her how you feel & if she still keeps doing that then don't invite her. Make you own plans without her. On top of this don't let him come into your home & show any disrespect either. I hope that this can help in some way. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving & holidays with or without her attending.
341107
I doubt very much that your daughter would agree to any form of family counselling to help resolve things, but this is one thing that may help.  By having a non-partial mediator discuss things in an open and mature manner would allow everyone involved to speak their mind and help sort things out perhaps.  Perhaps you could try and inform your daughter that this would be the greatest gift that she ever gave you for Christmas by agreeing to attend such sessions.  I'm certain also that you would like to be escorted to your daughter's wedding by her father and with all these unresolved issues I'm willing to bet that you'll be going stag.  Inform your little girl that although her dad did make a mistake that you have forgiven him and that everyone should be given a second chance if they have so deserved it.  Best of luck to you and your family as a whole.
147178
I think it's HER day and she's old enough to deal with her decision whether or not to invite him.  True, she may regret not inviting her dad - but that's for her to decide and then deal with.  She may NEVER regret it - and remember it as a special day she got to spend with YOU.  Respecting her wish will also prove to her that she is worthy of your trust and respect.  I do hope you have a "grown up" conversation with her about all of this - make her a part of the pros/cons discussion and final decision.\n\nGood Luck!
152116
I think its OK. Would u let her go if your friend was gay. Now just b/c your friends doing something your not cool with that doesn't mean your daughter is going to follow in her steps. If your daughters old enough, talk to her and let her know that your family doesn't get down like that. Also let her know why u don't date your family.
73969
WOW...sounds like your daughter and son-in-law are very selfish people. I would give them a dose of their own medicine. You don't have to take that kind of disrespect from ANYONE. I would send your G-daughter a nice birthday card and leave it at that. They will surely run to you when they need something, but don't give in. Let them FEEL how they have made you feel.
216899
She is just feeling protective over her mother role.  She is their momma and she doesn't want you to try and fill her shoes or play mommy.  It is very delicate.  No matter what she did in her marriage doesn't matter.  Please be respectful not to push her about being around HER kids.  Respect the fact that she doesn't want you around them right now.  They shouldn't see you two together unless it is very serious.  I didn't introduce my daughter to her now step-dad until I was sure we were going to stay together.  They don't need to see different women in daddy's life.  You don't know how long you two will last just yet.  Give it time!!!!Don't tell her to back off or anything like that, you have no right to.  If you care at all about your b/f respect her wishes!!!  She'll come around if you do.  Don't make it worse, it is a delicate situation!!!  Why would you move in?  This isn't something that should be taken lightly.  Are you even engaged to him?  Like I said, the kids shouldn't see women in daddy's life unless it is serious enough as marriage is!  Sounds like you know you'll disrespect her wishes anyway!  Why ask then, if you are moving in?
497792
hello, It would be beneficial for you to sit down with your daughter and talk to her about her dad. Please for her sake, try to understand her point of view about her dad, he may have mistreated you and her, but ultimately he is her dad, and she may be struggling with abandonment issues, and hurting so much that she is self sabotaging your relationship with her, to prove to herself that no one cares, and that everyone is unrealiable. \nIt is confusing for her but if you can not portray your negatity about your ex, or that situation, and try to remain nuetral... allow her to talk to you about her feelings , she'll gain respect for you and will listen to your rules in time. \nIt is clear that she is trying to manipulate you, and she may be playing on your heart strings, " Mom won't do anything, cuz she doesn't want to loose me." \nIt is hard as a mother, because we are not portrayed as authoritative, but you need to stand your ground no matter how much she laments, and cries, hollars... don't give in. If she doesn't do something she needs to be shown that there are consequences to her negative actions. \nAsk who her friends are, and when they come over, quiz them, ask them " so where do you live? what does your mom and dad do? " Chat them up in a friendly manner so she doesn't realize it's the third degree, and her friends will say " Hey your mom is cool!" They'll want to hang at your house, and you'll be able to keep a better eye on her.
238486
It depends on the type of person she is, I mean she might just feel guilty. I would be curious as to why he feels the need to come but I would just try to get to know him if you really concerned that he has other intentions. Other wise don't make the bride to be angry it is dangerous! She is under a lot of stress as it is. Congrats