I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and I'm about to graduate college. He doesn't want to "ever" get married or have children. We don't even live together and I get the feeling like he doesn't wanna do that either. When I get upset about it when we're arguing he assures me we will at least live together soon and that he's waiting for me to establish my career and get on the right path before doing anything so it won't distract me from getting my education. But sometimes I get the feeling like he's just saying this to shut me up. He's very religious and believes strongly in God and the Bible but he still don't wanna get married. What should I do?
201361
I would have a serious conversation with him. It would be a shame to wait another 5 years just to hear again what you're hearing now. Why doesn't he want to marry you? I would think that the prospect of marrying the person you love would make you work harder towards your goals if you know that you will be married after. Talk to him. Let him know how you feel. If marriage and children are important to you then he needs to know. He may just be nervous about commitment, but if he really loves you he will need to face that fear. Im sorry but if he doesnt feel the same way then you need to move on. I know that will be painful but its better than wasting the next 5+ years of your life hoping he will change. If he agrees to marry you, make sure its really what he wants. You will be miserableif he married you because he felt he had no choice. Best of luck.
595167
God will let you know when the time is right or the person.  God does things on His time for us.  Not on our time.  Maybe God knows that you may get hurt so he wants you to wait a bit.  Maybe there is someone else God had in mind that will come along.  Maybe God wants you to be more financially secure before heading into a marriage.  Maybe God wants you do to other things before getting married.  There may be various of reasons but if God is not ready for you to get married, then by all means wait.  He has His reasons.  Be patient!
43807
You must be strong in your faith, but he may be steep in his religion.  If he hasn't proposed to you yet, I think you should travel abroad confident with the reality that he had time to do so, and didn't committ in that ultimate way.  Has he even brought that topic up?  Has he made a promise to you about it yet?  \n\nYou say its been 15 yrs; do you want another 15 more to go by, not being his wife?  I personally know of women who have had children with men, but not been married to them; both Christians and Muslimahs.  \n\nGo get your education girl.  Stop stressing.  Make that your goal for now.
265560
Yea, you don't want to hurt his feelings. I think that you should just tell him that you are not ready for it. And tell him that its too early and you are too young for this subject. To be honest about how you truly feel. Tell him that you don't want to think about this yet because you want to concerate on your future instead of kids and marriage. Its alot of stress and responsiblities, I think you should take care of yourself now instead of worried too much about the future. If he complains or whyning about it. Tell him that he should concerate on his work if he really want a future with you together. Why bother talking about it to you? Just show you, actions talk louder than words. And if he really is sweet, he would do that instead and makes your life much more easier. And he will try his best not to worry you alot about him or both of you guys future together. He will do whatever he can to make that happen and fulfilled it.
284745
If you really love him wait! If he loves you he would have that house done just to be with you! you already have two kids do you want another one, a 51 year old one at that? Maybe he isn't ready but then if he wasn't he shouldn't have asked you! He is makeing excusses. Try this if you are haveing sex with him tell him you made up your mind no more sex till your married if he is getting it already why would he rush to get married? I understand he wants to make this house bigger for your two kids but buying pigs or chickens and haveing to put off the house for the animals is a  excuse! He want you to live with him but not to get married it sounds like so that he will have all the beneffits of being married with out being married! Don't give in to that or you may never get married. Think of your two kids what kind of signal will you be giveing them if you do this? Like you said neither of you are getting younger! Only you can decde what to do it's your life and your kids life's do what is best for all of you! If you let him to keep makeing excuses he will do it. If he really wanted to marry you he would have that house done befor now! He would spend all of his time working on the house that he could spare. Not sure how long you have been waiting but It don't look like you will be getting married anytime soon! There will always be something for him to do that he thinks is more important then the house! That means these thing are more important then getting married to you and have you and your kids to be his family! i understand this is a touchy subject and hope I wasn't to harsh! Good Luck!
277720
I think that you are way too young to make a life decision like marriage. Despite what is shown on television and what celebrities do, marriage is supposed to be a life commitment. Do you feel that you can commit your life to someone at such a young age? Do you want to go to college, Does she want to go to college? How would this effect your relationship? Have you sat down and REALLY discussed the ramifications of getting married. Where would you live afterwords (with your parents?), how could you afford living together, etc.  It might suit both of you to speak to a third party, like a pastor or even a counselor before taking the plunge. You sound like a nice person, but remember the old saying (and Elvis song), Only fools Rush In
233756
Just say "I am not ready for marriage,I am not ready to take that step in my life. It has nothing to do with you personally, I just would rather wait until I am positive I want to make that commitment. I am flattered by your offer, but I can't say yes."\n \n By the way, it sounds like this guy just wants to get married to you for citizenship. His feelings most likely will not be hurt because there is no actual feelings invloved.
407264
YES, you should feel upset, and you're not overreacting. Sounds annoying and angering. I'm surprised he even asked you to marry him. Do you think he'll keep the promise to walk down the aisle? I had a man like that once. He promised to propose to me year after year after year. He promised he'd do it after he paid off his credit card. But when he did, he just bought himself a brand new car. Then he wanted a big projection television. Et cetera. It's hard to pinpoint exactly why some people do crap like that: lack of ability to commit, laziness, control, or just plain meanness. Talk to him about it...tell him that it makes you UNHAPPY, and be sure to stress that word. If you're unhappy, then it can lead you to fall out of love with him, and leave him. That should show him that he needs to be more trustworthy with you.
658276
Having a ring on your finger doesn't mean anything if he doesn't want to marry you than you can keep that ring on your finger for the next decade! You just said that your too young to marry than why should you worry yourself for having a ring? All that matter is that he is loving you and your relationship is healthy!! Why do you want to leave a guy whom you call great and loving!! Do not put this 4 yrs of relationship down the drain do not make that mistake than you may regret it later!!! Give him time he probably wants to make himself secure enough financially and career wise before to ask your hand in marriage!! And if its really bothering you than you should sit down with him and have a nice talk get it out of your system you will feel much better!!
30009
Don't go against your religion.  God is more important than your boyfriend.  How long have you been going out with him?  If he has sex with you but there is no commitment, you will be in much worse shape in the end.  Wait until you are married so you don't get hurt.
62217
i'm living with my boyfriend from 2 years ago and i don't think about getting married\ni think that getting married or not depends of you and of what you want.but i don't think that a sheat of paper will  make to love to grow or to make you happy.this only depends of you and your feelings
249856
I am actually one of those girls that has been engaged for years (2 to be exact). We got engaged before I finished my undergrad degree and decide to wait until I finished my masters. Anyway, it seems to me that just as long as you and your boyfriend have similar life goals, marriage may not need to be rushed into. Maybe you should wait until after you are done with school. Then you will have more money and time to plan your wedding. At the risk of scaring him away, I think that you should at least sit down and have a serious conversation about where you both see each other in the next 5 years. Having a frank conversation about your goals will help you to determine whether he is genuine when he says that you are the one, or if this is simply a ploy he uses to avoid confrontation or a possible break up. Remember that a marriage is life long commitment. It isn't something you should try to squeeze between school semesters out of convenience.
650582
If you're even questioning whether or not you should accept or decline, then you are NOT ready for marriage. You need to tell this man that you appreciate it, and you care about him too, but you don't feel marriage or, engagement, is appropriate just yet. Make sure you tell him it doesn't mean you don't want to marry him, eventually, but that right now, at this time in your life, you aren't sure if it's what is best.
614687
If you feel this will be an issue that can cause problems in a relationship, it would probably be a bad idea to stay together. I know you will have issues if you get married and have kids because you'll want to instill one set of beliefs in them, and he'll want another set of beliefs instead.
601330
Serious question here, and lots of things to consider.  Let's see if we can sort through all this.\n\nFirst of all, you say you've been together for seven months.  I wonder how old you and he are.  The red flag that jumped out at me is that you are both still living at home.  These days, I know that can mean anything from 19-29.  But if you don't have a steady job (preferably a career and a vocation), if you don't have your own transportation, and if you don't have financial independence, marrying is not a good idea.  He also needs to have a steady job, a vehicle and financial independence.  \n\nThat you are having second thoughts is a good thing.  He sounds like he still has a ways to grow up if he's still trying to leave home.  You sound like you have a way to go yet toward financial independence if you are living at home too.  When you say that you want to have little flings and talk to other guys, though, this tells me you are not ready for marriage because your heart is not truly in it.  You need to keep dating and work on your education, your job skills and your life management skills.  All these things are coming along, but don't sound quite developed enough yet.\n\nAlso, you should never have to pressure someone to marry.  A marriage proposal should come out of the blue with no pressure at all.  That someone feels the need to pressure someone else says that there is a power struggle going on, and that's a very unhealthy way to start married life.  \n\nThere is such a word as divorce, because there are many, many "starter marriages".  No matter your religion or personal beliefs, 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce.  And divorce is a hard but positive thing ultimately, because there is no point living miserably.  Divorce is hard to go through, but people survive it, and go on to thrive afterward.  Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, things just don't work out like we plan.  People grow apart, want different things, change and life throws us curveballs to boot.  \n\nEnjoy your single life for a while longer yet.  You may want to keep seeing your boyfriend, or you may want to re-evaluate the relationship and see if you want to stay with him or move on.  Don't be afraid to move on.  Be more afraid of getting into a rut or becoming too fearful that you'll never find someone else.  Nonsense!  With six BILLION people in the world, no worries about finding someone to date and/or marry ultimately.\n\nGood luck with this.  Cheers, K
472423
I would not advise getting married. You are too young to be debating marriage. Don't rush into marriage. Marriage is more than "I Love You".
109054
Don't get married becouse you want to have sex. But don't have sex reluctantly becouse your bf won't marry you, you'll just be hurt and angry. I don't think he'll propose, you're both too young. May be time to call it a day?