im 38yrs old. all i do is work and try to take care of kids. husband gets busted again, cost money. ex hiding my son from me. burnt out at work. no money. what do i do?
211825
get your son back call the police firstly. Secondly, your husband needs a clip over the ears how selfish he is to put you under so much pressure. Can't he see he is killing you. Go to counselling and get him to AA. \n\nStand up for your rights and do what you know is best. If he refuses kick him out!
234101
I would work part-time.  If you can do without the money, try to work part-time instead of full time until the kids are at least in full-time school.  Most people work because they need the money.  If you have a choice then follow your heart.  You should realize that if you depend on someone else (your husband or wife) to support you, if they leave you your earning ability will be less than if you had kept working.  It's a price you pay.
570588
Your story brings tear to my eyes. Maybe all you can do is emotionally fall apart. You need to grieve, and better now than having collapses when your baby is a toddler and getting on your nerves. It is going to be a whole new life for you, and you have to be prepared for some real suprises from him.  Get you court case ready - be prepared for even worse things - you don't know who your husband really is until you divorce him. Many men fight for custody when it comes time to think about child support - so be "prepared."  HE ALREADY HAS A NICE LITTLE STEP MOTHER THERE AND READY - SO STAY AHEAD OF HIM. Yes life is very cruel that when you are at your most traumatised you have to think about such horrid and practical things - but that is the way of divorce. It is the worst hell you will ever experience. I feel so sick that this is happening to you while you are pregnant and so terribly in need of protection and love. You have to starting thinking about the man you love as an 'opponent' now. It is easy to say but I know that it is a very difficult thing to do. Feelings are what thay are. What you need is to find people out there who will listen to you and let you cry on their shoulder. People are VERY IMPATIENT and they will expect you to get over things very quickly, so have more than one friend to lean on. You have a precious baby on the way and taking care of that baby (alone) will be fill up many spaces because of the overwhelming responsibily. You really have to find compassionate non-condemning, humble friends who can be there for you. You will be poorer - for sure so find some single mothers with babies - because they will be your greatest support system. Your social status has just changed dramatically - and that is one of the most difficult parts of single parentig.  So be "ready." I am sorry that I have very little that is positive to say. Just know that my heart breaks for you.
191146
I'm 25, already have a baby, I work full time in an international chinese company in Mexico...I'm just so busy all the time. I'm actually wondering if it's gonna be like this for the rest of my life. I wish I could just quit my job to spend more time with my baby before he grows up and doesn't need me anymore. See...I think this is a crisis.
326919
Your story breaks my heart, and the sad thing is, so many people across the country have a similar story. People today have not been properly taught to manage money. It's also pretty difficult since cost of living increases have risen exponentially and pay at most jobs has increased minimally if at all.\n\nCredit cards are a very dangerous thing. My best advice is to cut spending to a minimal. Cut out the things you don't need. Make out a monthly budget for you and your family and stick to it as best you can. Allow for emergency and a little for entertainment, but be careful about spending more than you need to.\n\nIt's OK to rely on family and friends for help. Ask people to babysit for you when you need them to. Have them help you look for a new, better job.\n\nIt's going to be an uphill battle, but you can do it. You have to for yourself and for your kids. Good luck. :-)
161801
I admire your big heart. I say, continue to try and get them to move up there with you.   Pray to God and his Son Jesus to help you through these hard times, and to help provide to take care of these family members.  With the help of God, you can make ends meet, and every one will be fed. There will be lots of hard times, including emotionally I am sure, but if you have faith in God, and keep him in your heart and house, you will come out fine. God wants us to help those in need. If the rest of your family aren't offering to help, then don't worry about it.  In tough times, family is all we have, and YOU are all the family that those kids have to help them.  If they are at least 16, then they can get an after school job, and at least have their own spending money, and maybe even help out with the bills or food. God bless you, and do the right thing.  Just imagine if it were your kids........
244443
Tell her to get a grant..\n\nLots of paper work but it there for the taking if people pursue it and what it bad enough.\n\nPLUS : Its time for her to learn responsibility's of being on her on. Part-time job will do.\n\nKids get bad but as they mature they forgive because they realize that Parents do know best.\n\nI had a girl friend her son was 27 never worked and ever time you said work it was back to college life time student. Well that didnot work out but you our married so its different try to find away to hold on. ( Great woman to and she even worked for State Farm Insurance but between us both his bills where to much. )\n\nI hope for you all to have the best in life it can give for you to work through this.
533395
It sounds like you've done everything possible to get your life straightened out. Good for you...I think you will get your kids back eventually. Now that there's a new case worker maybe things will change. Keep up the good work and keep praying. I hope things will work out for you.
340219
considering you are not at home asking this question and at work...take this time to look for part time jobs in the evening.  If you are cleaning an apartment every few weeks, why not try to do your own little side gig and do more houses or apartments.  If you have family that is willing to help watch the children while you earn extra $$ that is your answer.  If you are unable to pay your bills off you can consider filing for bankruptcy - it screws your credit for 7 years, but if you're not getting anywhere on the bills, then it's an option.  My mom raised 3 children, went without eating and things for herself so that we could have clothes and such.  We shopped at good will and i didn't know any better, i thought it was the greatest thing goin.  As much hoopla as people put on presents, it's about being with your family and making the most of the time together.  I would consider asking family to help watch the kids while you work a second part time job to earn more money, when you work hard for your family and prove that, people are more willing to help out.  Good luck and god bless!
3905
As long as u have visitation, he can't do anything, but be mad. I don't like divorce, but when it happens I feel as though if the parents are doing all they can for the sake of their child(ren, then it works out. Your husband should realize this. Working two jobs is rough, I should know I did it for two years and trying to find time to spend with your kids is as well. I commend you for your efforts, but be careful don't give him a reason to take your rights away. I've seen it because of this and it hurts the kids not the adults in the long run. If u need too go back to the courts and see if you and your husband can come to an agreement to kind of lower your payments to him for the kids so that you can spend more time with them. Explain that because of the child support you have to work 2 jobs and this is putting not only a strain on you, but your relationship with your kids. I would think this would be a sympathic plea and someone would hear you. It's just a thought. I pray things work out for you it sounds like u are going to need it.
290708
take up reading, doing crafts is a good time passer\n\nget a computer, you can learn, play, chat or a million other things on-line.\n\nI know it is hard.  I have a friend who is in a similar situation, for that matter I have been there myself.  I know it can be hard when most of your old friends are married with kids etc and you feel so isolated.  When I was alone and basically broke I tried to just stay busy with something.  Get a pet, they are good company too.\n\nOh yeah....\n\nDon't pay any attention to some of the people who are answering with mean stuff.... they just don't have any understanding of your question, some people can't help but be a@#holes.  \n\nI don't think they understand what you mean when you say you are on SSI.  Some of us do.  I realize that you can't go out and get a job.  There are still many things you can do as hobbies etc.
114390
I am in that situation right now. I had a one night stand and got pregnant, which I was told I could never have children. The guy and I got together but we weren't in love. We made our bed so we are lieing in it. It isn't our son's fault that we didn't use protection. Besides I am happy I had my son. We feel that even though we are not happy, in order for our son to be whole with a happy life, that we are sacrificing our happiness. Divorce is really hard on the children and being raised by a single parent is sometimes difficult. All my son's friends are being raised by a single parent. Most of them come to our home to eat dinner and get dessert which they don't get at home. They hang out at our house cos their parents are out on the weekends trying to find another mate. One has gone down the wrong road, the other misses home cooked meals, the other one misses his dad doing father-son things even though there is visitation. If there isn't any abuse involved, I would say stay until they are out of high school.
581521
dont be silly...really find some time to take stock. what about your family? friends? what do you like doing? any hobbies? do you have a job? there's plenty to live for, you only get one chance, one life. sometimes its tough, but you dont know whats around the corner. be happy. xxxxx
101968
You are only 35 so I think you have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do. If you don't need the money you could do some volunteer work instead of working. Or you could volunteer part-time and take some courses at a local college. \nKudos to you for staying at home with your kids, that as I know is a very demanding job. Don't be scared, take a deep breath and get out there! If you can raise two kids and run a household you can do anything! \nNow of course I expect you to say all this to me in about 10 or 11 years. Good luck and don't be discouraged if it's not all sunshine and lollipops. You can't succeed if you don't try.
16933
You don't mention your age, but you have 3 children and have a BA.  I assume you have some intelligence.  Love is a tricky thing.  I say, get your own place - think about the kids.  Your only job in life right now is to ensure the children are raised to be healthy, well-adjusted children.  How much good are you to them if you are constantly wondering about this man?  Learn to love yourself fully and make that enough to sustain you.  Love those kids and provide for them.  The rest will fall into place.  Your children will learn from you.  If your child was in your situation, what would you want them to do?\n\nGod Bless.  I hope you figure it out.
613277
You still have your family-your kids. Talk to this guy. Find out where you and kids stand in his life . In a relationship,there are times when couple or say one of them wants to be on his own .\nMaybe he just needs some time off . Give it to him . You also do something which you like and mutually you two can take care of kids . Have a code of conduct to be maintained in the house, at least in front of kids . Review the situation after short intervals.\nIf it doesn't work & you are unhappy ,maybe then you have no other choice but to split.
331488
Please get your life on track first! Go back to school get a job and prove you can take care of yourself and stay out of trouble.  !6 and in jail and more or less divorcing your mom poooooor kid I hope you find your place in life no mom should ever do this to a kid no matter what a kid does! You cant chose when you want to be a mom it a full time job from the minute they are born if not before because they do have to take care of the baby while they are carry them! But what I was saying you can't decide from day to day if you will be a mom today or not! I hope and pray you get your life together and grow up some more before you jump into this with your girl Friend! And gooooood luck in the courts and in your life May God be watching over you and protecting you!