dumb blondes: hirly clintion, bitty clintion, clut clintion, paris hition
211776
I was almost ready to claw your eyes out, but since you bashed Hilary Clinton I support you 100%. I would add though that it is all a myth. We have totally managed to fake you all out. We definately don't have a problem using the fact that we're blonde if it benifits us. lol....see you think we're stupid but we manage to get what we want every time. Yeah BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n\nA blonde female police officer pulls over a blonde gal in a\nconvertible sports car for speeding. She walks up to the car\nand asks the blonde for her driver's license. The blonde\nconvertible driver searches through her purse in vain.\nFinally she asks, "What does it look like?"\n\nThe blonde police officer tells her, "It's that thing with\nyour picture on it." The blonde driver searches for a few\nmore seconds, pulls out her compact, opens it, and sure\nenough sees herself.\n\nShe hands the compact to the blonde cop. After a few seconds\nlooking at the compact, the blonde cop rolls her eyes, hands\nthe compact back to the blonde convertible driver, and says,\n"If you would have told me you were a police officer when I\nfirst pulled you over, we could have avoided this whole\nthing."\n\n> I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not \n> allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then \n> he  would tell me to take a few days off. \n> So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My \n> co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing? \n> I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss \n> would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off. \n> A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked \n> "What are you doing?" \n> I told him I was a light bulb. \n> He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a \n> couple of days". \n> I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the \n> blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "And where do you think you're \n> going?" \n> \n> \n> (You're gonna love this..... ) \n> \n> \n> \n> She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!" \n\nHope you enjoyed the entertainment.
367884
Blondes are pretty and think they're popular\nBrunettes are funny and are good athletes\nRedheads are smart and very flirty
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The Blondes at the university were tired of not fitting in. They were tired of other students assuming they were just stupid bimbos. They wanted somewhere where they felt they belonged.\n\nSo they pressured the administration to set up a new Department especially for them. The university agreed, and set up the Blonde Education Department.\n\nThe Blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their own where they could gather without being ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now.\n\nThey wanted other students to see that they weren't just stupid bimbos -- after all, they now had their own department at the university.\n\nSo they now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the Blonde Education Department, which sports the saying: "I Belong in B.E.D."\n\nand check this one,\n     A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees well being, asked sympathetically, "What`s the matter?"\nTo which the blonde replies....."Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."\nThe boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don`t you go home for the day.....we aren`t terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."\nThe blonde very calmly states......"No, I`d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."\nThe boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.... "If you need anything, just let me know."\nWell, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking,\n"What`s so bad now........are you gonna be ok??" \n"No......" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!"
421754
Ha Ha Ha Ha - one of the better blonde jokes I have heard in a while!!
474690
OH Tracy\nThat's the best Blonde one yet LMAO
32862
a blonde is driving down the highway in her car. she sees another blonde in the field next to the highway, rowing aa boat. she gets out of her car and says to the blonde in the boat, "what are you doing out there in a boat?"\nand the other blonde says, "this is like, a sea of wheat, duh." and the blonde by her car says, "it's blondes like you that make blondes like me look so stupid. i would go out there and kick your butt right now, but i can't swim."\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - \n a blonde and a brunette are on top of a building. if they both jump off, which one will hit the ground first?\n\n\nthe brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -\n  the pope told 3 nuns to go out and commit a sin. the first nun goes out and steals a car. she comes back to the pope and says, " i stole a car." the pope says, " drink from the holy water and you will be cleansed." so the nun drinks from the holy water and she dies. then the second nun comes back and says, "i robbed a bank." the pope says, "drink from the holy water and you will be cleansed." so she drinks from the holy water, and she dies. then, the 3rd nun comes back and says, " i poisoned the holy water."\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
253352
dont do it blondes arent meant to be red
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OH YEAH?!\n\n\nBlonde Jokes:\n\nThe Top 10 Dumb Blonde Inventions (11-18, I made Up and Found On Internet):\n\n1) Waterproof Towel\n2) Solar-Powered Flashlight\n3) Submarine Screen Door\n4) A Book On How To Read\n5) Inflatable Dart Board\n6) Dictionary Index\n7) Helicopter Ejector Seat\n8) Powdered Water\n9) Designer Camouflage\n10) Waterproof Tea Bag\n11) Wireless Dog Leash\n12) Silent Car Alarm\n13) Glass Hammer\n14) Brick Window\n15) See-Through Swimsuit\n16) Pet Rock\n17) Wooden Soap\n18) Pedal-Powered Wheel Chair\n\nMore Jokes:\n\nQ: How do blonde brain cells die ? \nA: Alone. \n\n\nQ: How do you change a blonde's mind? \nA: Blow in her ear. \n\nQ: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? \nA: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! \n\nQ: How do you keep a blonde busy all day? \nA: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. \n\nQ: How did the blonde die ice fishing? \nA: She was run over by the zamboni machine. \n\nQ: How do you get a blonde to marry you? \nA: Tell her she's pregnant. \n\nQ: How does a blond spell farm? \nA: E-I-E-I-O \n\nQ: How does a blond kill a fish? \nA: She drowns it. \n\nQ: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? \nA: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. \n\nQ: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? \nA: Run....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. \n\nQ: What do you call a blonde golfer with an iq of 125? \nA: a foursome. \n\nQ: What do you call a blond mother-in-law? \nA: An air bag. \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? \nA: Tell her a joke on Wednesday. \n\nQ: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? \nA: Trying to hold on to a thought. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? \nA: Because it said 'concentrate'. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde take two hits of acid? \nA: She wanted to go on a round trip. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet? \nA: She thought it was diet coke. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days? \nA: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? \nA: The noise gave her a headache. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? \nA: From trying to blow out lightbulbs. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? \nA: She heard that the drinks were on the house. \n\nQ: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? \nA: They don't know the route. \n\nQ: Why do blondes work seven days a week? \nA: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. \n\nQ: What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in the road? \nA: There are skid marks in front of the skunk. \n\nQ: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes? \nA: Elvis has been sighted. \n\nQ: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? \nA: Some traffic signs say stop. \n\nQ: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart? \nA: The shopping cart has a mind of its own. \n\nQ: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? \nA: She turned it over and used the other side. \n\nQ: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra? \nA: Thanks for the refill. \n\nQ: How does a blonde commit suicide? \nA: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. \n\nQ: How do you plant dope? \nA: Bury a blonde. \n\nQ: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? \nA: Wave to her. \n\nQ: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? \nA: With a tire gauge! \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? \nA: Shine a flashlight in their ear. \n\nQ: How do you kill a blonde? \nA: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do blondes pierce their ears? \nA: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do you drown a blond? \nA: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bott
535426
sorry. \n\ni like blonde jokes, but that one is weak. lousy premise.
390500
There's no truth to that at all, cause why is it directed more at women then men? Red Heads & Brunettes does dumb things from time to time and when they do they'll blame it on the blondes by saying "I was having a blonde moment...etc". I have to admit that blondes are prettier especially with blue or green eyes, and I even like it when they act a little dingy. I feel that Blondes are envied by other women to a degree and therefore made fun of. Some of their dinkiness goes with the territory so to speak. Might I add too...it's a myth that blondes have more fun. You can read that article that I found on hair color.
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lol why does it have to be a blonde?? i like bdk9913's answer.
553539
hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! \nhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! \nhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! \n\n(obviously, i'm not a blonde!)
574137
I think that blonde hair does make a person less intelligent.  I have brown hair, but last summer I dyed it blonde.  And I swear I was making so many stupid mistakes.  I really did feel like the blonde hair was making me dumb.  Maybe the peroxide seeped into my brain... I don't know.   :)
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Great Buddy. Women are really crazy\n\nAnother of that sort\n\nDeer Tracks\n\nThree blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!" \nThe second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!" \nThe third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!" \nThey were still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them. \n\nPain in the ...\nA young brunette goes into the doctor's office and tells him that her body hurts wherever she touches it.\n"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."\nShe takes her finger and pushes on her elbow and screams in agony.\nShe then pushes on her knee and screams, pushes on her ankle and screams...and so it goes.\nNo matter where she touches her agony is apparent.\nThe doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?\nYou're really a blonde."\nShe sheepishly admits that indeed she is a blonde.\n"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."\n\nSkipping\nA blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skipping."\n\nThe Muffler\nA blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her that all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing. \n"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working." \n"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!" \n\nBlonde in a boat\n\nThere was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”\n\nBlonde in a car\n\nA blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?'' \n''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.'' \nA couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car.
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Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the\nbalcony.\n\n"Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.\n"Help us, help us!" yells the other.\n"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.\n"Good idea," said the other.\n"Together, together!"
189365
They aint triplets, but their hair is ugly!
73207
Paris is the one who is dumb. I watched her show the other night and she said to a farm family she was staying with "What is a well for", and "What does generic mean?" when she was grocery shopping. Also her crack was deliberately showing in the too small jeans she was wearing-ew. I wish she would wear beautiful clothes instead of trampy clothes. She is like Anna Nicole Smith-stupid and trashy in spite of having plenty of money and good looks.\nIgnorant men watch these women and think they represent all women and it affects all of us in a negative way.