I grew up not knowing any other dad but the one my mom was married to Until I was 15 years old, I found out I had another dad. No wonder why I didn't look like him but anyways. I still call him DAD cus he is still my dad but I now live with my biological dad...we are more like best friends. Anyways im 19 now and my biological dad has beent akin care of me since i was 15 but I still go back and forth to visit. I want them both in my wedding but some people are telling me I can't. I wanted to have the first dad walk me down the first half (to rep. my 1st 15 years) and then my other dad take me the second...or I could have the both on each arm but like I said many people are telling me to chose JUST ONE...please help :)
201586
I think that it is awesome that you can say that you have two dads, it is your wedding and you should do what you want to...I think your idea of half / half is super cute because they both were there i don't think that you should chose one or the other you need to incorporate both or someones feelings are going to get hurt you have two dad's and that is ok just be sure that they both know that you love them and everything will turn out right.
294849
Sorry to hear of your problems. My 2 oldest sons have a step mom & dad. It gets hard but over time it's been the best thing ever. My boys weren't aloud to call me mom in front of him. After a few months of being remarried, the step mom put her foot down on that subject as well as a few others. Her & I have went out with the boys & spent the day together. With the dads was very hard for my boys at first. My 2nd husband would try to hard & it pushed them away. Once he realized this he started talking to them like he does to our daughter we have. Now they call him dad,ask his opinion on things & have much respect for him. But only pointing only the things that are wrong on the kids part is damaging. They will think they are nothing but screw-ups & will cause problems in the years to come. Tell the man to tap into his boyhood along with the kids & just let loose. Ensure him he's not always wrong,but he has to let them be kids to. Let him know that he needs to compliment them on good things to earn their respect.Hopefully things will get better because no man is worth loosing your children over. Good luck my friend. In our families, the STEPS are blessings.
330531
i would go and visit him because he was my dad, not to just get something from him. if you sincerely want to meet him, then do so. after that, things will probably work out for the good of both of you.
158861
At one point in time if you asked me this question i would have said you aren't wrong, but after some life experiance i have to say now you are. I was very hurt and lost when my parents got divorced, my mother started dating her old high school sweetheart almost immediately, i was moved not only from the home i knew, but also from the state i'd lived in all my life. I was rude and hurtful to this man and in the long run he abandoned my mother. Now 13 years later, i often look back and wonder if it weren't for my actions would he still have left her? Even though we all want our parents to be together, sometimes it just isn't possible for two people to be together and be happy. No matter what both your mom and dad have the right to be happy, and if this new man in your mom's life makes her happy, then you should at least respect him for making a positive change in your mother's life. You don't have to like him, but think of how he feels in this situation. He is just trying to be with your mom and be happy, he isn't trying to replace your father, i hope, and if anything he just wants to be accepted as is. i also married a man who had been married once before with two children, at first i had some difficulty with the oldest child saying some very hurtful things, it was a very difficult situation to handle, but i knew from my experiance in the past he was going through a hard time and i gave him his space and things worked out. I have seen and lived in both situations, and what you are doing will not benefit anyone, including you. Happiness is like perfume, you can't spray it on yourself without getting a little on everyone else, so try to be happy for your mom, and as for your dad he will find happiness elsewhere it will just take some time.
289592
I think you need to solve your problem at home before you meet your biological father. If your stepfather treats you badly, and your mother does not care, then find someone else for help. You're still in school, so a guidance counselor, close friend, or relative may help you. Finding your father is a good idea, but are you ready for that? I think you should also learn what really happened between your parents. If he really just left, then he obviously does not care about either of you, nor is he a responsible father for leaving.
254879
If  man loves YOU, he will accept YOUR child(ren) as well. Y'all ARE a package deal, right. Some men are family men and would rather be a part of a family unit. Sometimes the step father can be a better role model, influence, teacher, etc. than the biological father. Maybe you and him could have a child together to "complete" the family unit.\n\nMy  ex-husband adopted my oldest son at 3 years old, he was a much better father than his biological father could even dream of being. When my ex died almost 4 years ago from lung cancer, we were at the funeral home, I got word that my son's biological father was on his way up to pay his last respects, I was freaking out thinking it would cause issues within the family. So, I asked my son how he felt about his donor coming up, I reassured my son that he had the last word (my son was almost 17) and if he was uncomfy to let me know and I would ask him (his donor) to leave. My son said to me "Billy can come here if he wants, he's not my dad, my dad is inside in the casket". \n\nMy boyfriend and I have only been together about 5 month's now. He's wonderful with my son's. Often, I pay attention to the way he interacts with my kid's and it amazes me that he's better with my youngest son than his own father was prior to his death (suicide).\n\nSo my point is, sometimes it's the greatest thing to have another parent to love our children.\n\nGood luck!!\n\nPS\nIf you plan to build a life with this man, you MUST teach your child(ren) that the step parent IS to be respected and don't allow your kid(s) to tell your man "your not my dad" when they are in trouble.
662868
do what is best for you and your child...i was with my older sons dad for 9 years and he was a cheater and a liar too... i finally left when i found someone i thought i wanted to be with.... it didn't work out in the end.. but life is funny.. it always works itself out .. i never went back to the kids dad i was much better off without him....and much happier on my own.... don't stay because of your child... you will be a better person and mother if you are happy. follow your heart and don't look back!  things happen for a reason... i believe that.
26427
I am a step parent myself, along with my husband.  The both of us had children from previous marriages.  My husband treats and cares for my (our) children as well as I do his (ours)  We have custody of all of our children.  We actually took custody of his from their mother because a judge decided that our home was the best place for them.  In my eyes, they are MY children.  I feed them, I wash their clothes, I sit up with them when they are sick, I take them to their sporting events and school activities, which is more than their natural mother does for them.  And my husband the same...the father of my oldest daughter didnt show up to any of her school activities until my husband started going with me...my ex-husbands family had to throw it in his face that her step father went to watch her and her own father didnt.  So in my opinion, YES, a step parent is a family member!
510234
It is traditional for a child to carry his fathers last name but I had wished I would not have done this with my oldest 2 because the father does not have anything to do with the kids now. If this is truly what you want then stick to your guns and go for it. He will be mad at first but he will eventually get over it.
557562
I know how you feel...my ex stopped paying for our 3 children too.  The minute I met the man I am currently with(13 years) he stopped paying any support, luckily my new man had no problem helping me support the children.  They are now 22, 24 and 26, and they have little respect for their father, but great respect for their step dad. Any man can be a father it takes a real man to be a Dad!
96356
I am so glad you asked this question. I was adopted at about 1 year old. As the others said I don't consider my "birth" parents my real parents. The ones that raised me and gave me my values are my real parents. I had considered off-and-on searching for my birth parents ( and siblings ) but after much thinking about what really matters - I decided not to. If they cared they could have found me!\n\nI guess we will always wonder - but at the same time don't really want to know. We are-what-we-are thanks to the wonderful parents who raised us. After so...........many years of emotional struggle this is the decision I have come to. People not in this situation just haven't got a clue as to how tough this is!\n\nWell - I don't feel so all alone now - thanks for sharing your feelings!!!!!
545594
Well I'll tell you what, I don't have one but my mom does,lol. My dad is a mommas boy threw and threw. He is now 83 years old and mom is 72. They have been together now for 55 years. Mom has always said threw out the whole marriage that he was a mommas boy and where his momma left off, my mom picked it up and she has treated him the same way as his own momma did. And they get along just fine, well sometime they don't but they are still together after 55 years. I have learned a lot from her and the way she does dad, but it has also hurt me in my own relationships in the past. But all and all they get along pretty good. Mom just carters to dad, don't get me wrong, he was and is a good provider and a very good family man.
642740
What state do you reside?...Do you have parenting plans?..The courts agree to anything that benefits the children...however in the state of NJ...It is illegal during the other parents time.  Since camp benefits the child the step-mother/bio-dad needed to get WRITTEN permission from you....Your visitation should be followed to the T.....If the bio-dad  takes a week that was yours, then you should have the right to receive another....You see...This is VERY COMMON & should have been discussed prior to causing this situation NOW....Trust me there will be others....DO NOT let her make you MAD ....You will only make this situation worse...There will be more situattions that will come about during your childs teenage years & you can set the tone of how you handle this situations NOW....Be the bigger person....Go to the Family Court in your town & check out your rights...you do NOT need a lawyer....Think about it...Your child will benefit from CAMP....I'm sorry that this is happening to you!
371097
He is old enough to be your dad! There are sound reasons why this is frowned upon that have nothing to do with tradition or society. The relationship could never be totally equal.
434168
I think instead of concentrating on how much you miss your Dad, you should instead concentrate on how he would feel about you achieving those milestones.\n\nMy Mom died 6 years ago. I still miss her very much. But I find that if I think about what she would have told me, I have her voice playing in my head, still giving me the advise that she found appropriate for different situations.\n\nYou know what your Dad would tell you for getting your license. Or for getting your first serious relationship, etc. Allow yourself to relax and HEAR his voice in your head. I don't find anything wrong with this, and find it very comforting. \n\nGrieving takes a long time. But you need to allow yourself to move beyond the negative emotion of knowing that he won't be with you, to the postive emotion of knowing what he would have told you had he been there. (And just maybe, he is.)
235443
u should make sure ur son knows he has a birth father n the 1 whos been there 4 him. its very confusing 4 a child 2 find out dat theres another dad, but he does have the right 2 know his real father. if u think dat his real dad is not gonna just walk out after seeing him a couple of times now n hurting ur son then u should let him get close 2 him, but dont let him take ur son out of the blue. he needs 2 come around more often n see ur son spend time wit him so he can b comfortable then u choose from there wether 2 let him take him 4 a week r not , but not now . ur son needs time 2 want 2 go wit him , so let him come around ( i know u didnt stop him b 4 he choose 2 leave ) but give him the opportunity 2 b around him n see wats the out come b 4 lettin him go good luck
270735
My friend called his biological mother mum (australian spelling) and his other mother by her name. My other friend raised by two dads did the same.\nAs for the father figure... how many families are there that are single parent families? Millions...its kind of abnormal to have a father figure these days.