ok i have one that i am "in love with" known him since 1975...didn't ask for it, it just slapped me in the face, but he talks himself "out" of what he "could" feel for me, altho he does...his past relationships have him scared, mine also. the one i love well should i even go through with it, because i know i love him, but i'm not "in love with him. both are very good to me. one is marriage minded, and that's wher i'd like to be someday, but in all, the one i feel that i'm cheating on the one i am "in love" with. i've got it bad, i breathe , eat, sleep, him (the one i'm in love with) but he is not that way with me. i have said only part of how i feel for him, he says "all i can be is a friend" i definately want to respect his veiws, but i also don't "feel" that he is totally honest to himself about how he feels, and it confuses me a bit. i don't want to commit to the other knowing that "sixth sense" feeling. this is weird, but a pshycic said we would live together and be happy. what do?
200120
Having both is impossible,but you can do one thing,make a small test, give them both the oportunity to show how much you mean to each one, try unembaressing ways,the financial part maybe, or even how much one can sacrifice for you, this would be a test were you can pick the right person for you...after all you want someone To live with you happily didecating his life for your relationship,,i hope i was clear. best luck
112303
Hard call. The human mind and heart are so complex and not completely understood that anything is possible at this point. Do you have different levels and intensities of love? Yes. Is it possible that while loving one person you discover someone else who has different attributes and things about them that attract you? Yes. Does it mean you love your other love any less? No. So anything possible. What he needs to do is choose. It's human to have feelings all over for different people. (we have that capacity, intelligence and coimplexity of emotions) But our society dictates that you must be faithful to one and only one. So....he has to pick.
291758
Trust your feelings.  Something's telling you this relationship is not right.  Listen to one who's been through the "clinging boyfriend" thing.  I stayed with him for 3 years because I thought he loved me, needed me, couldn't live without me, and all that.  Meanwhile, he was showing his "love" for me by knocking me around, being super jealous and possessive, controling everything I said and did -- I think you know what I'm talking about!  This is NOT LOVE, but a sick relationship.  You can't "save" him, and he won't change unless he gets treatment.  When you break up, he'll even threaten to kill himself or you, or promise to get treatment, or whatever.  Don't accept the guilt -- it's his problem, not yours.  If he gets treatment, fine -- wish him well and keep moving.  But don't go back.  It may sound heartless, but trust me -- he doesn't "love" you, he only wants to "own" you.  He may even think he loves you, but he doesn't know what love is.  Don't mess up your life.  You're not helping him any by letting this relationship continue anyway.  Don't be just one of those statistics years from now (one more abused wife -- or worse, one more beaten to death wife).
272201
Okay, honey. If he really loves you, he'd choose you over the other guy. If being with him, and knowing he has someone else makes you feel that way, then he is not worth it. If it is meant to be, then it will, but BOTH of you have to want it to be. He has made it obvious that you are not priority one in his world. You seem like a lovely boy, I'm sure you can find someone just as loving and devoted as you are! Take my advice as a fruit-fly who has seen many gay relationships fall out. He. is not. worth it. Leave him, and if he wants you as badly as he says, he'll come running back and make you his only. Otherwise, you're better off without him.
260244
Sweeite, it's alright.  What you feel is totally natural.  I have been with my guy for three years and I am the maid of honor for a woman who has been dating her guy for five months.  I have a complex about it, and she loves to rub it in.  \n\nSomething I have realized, though, through all this is that marriage, while being the ultimate committment is not required to have a totally fulfilling realtionship.  While I may not even be engaged, I know that we are meant to be and have a bond that my friend cannot even contemplate with her new beau.  \n\nNot being egnaged only means that you are mature enough to know that the marriages that last longer are the ones who wait two to five years.  You will not stumble into anything weird wwhen you get married.  You know everything about him.  Believe me, some of these new brides will find at least one thing that will surpirse them about their mate.  Getting married in the honeymoon phase of a realtiohsip, while looks good on paper, is not really the best way.  once that is over, what do you have left?  Only knowledge and understanding of the other will be the true test of time, and that can only come with time.  \n\nDon't sweat it.  You are the smarter one.  Know it, breathe it, live it!  You are one up on them, not the other way around!
414373
Which one do you think will be a true friend to you.  The one that considers your feelings will be more honest with you. Ask each one if you can borrow some money, which ever one is the quickest to hand out the cash is the one that doesn't mind takin care of your needs, tell them its to get you hair or nails done, to buy an outfit or something of that nature, if he is all for it then that means he wants you to look your best, Hey you will see that, that is very important, well it is to me cause I gots to look fly and my man gonna make sure of that, and same goes for you which one would you.....pluck the nose hairs of, yeah, it sounds Gross but if you care and love some one you wouldn't mind doing things like that for them...anything to be close, ya know. Good Luck, sincerely lonely aka ms twista
56925
Hmm.. I think it takes alot of maturity to realize when something is  "love" or  infatuation. I can see  by some of these responses" it happens daily" (thundergirll) that you have not matured as much as you need to. Let me clarify, age has alot to do with this, but even older people can be misled with love. You have to think about what makes you think you "love" this person. Is it the way he smells, walks, talks,breathes? Hmm , sounds like infatuation. There are no quizzes or anything to take to find out if you " love" someone. Love to me has alot to do with sacrificing. Are you willing to sacrifice things for the one you love? Do you really care about this person, and will be there for them no matter what? Do you really appreciate them for who they are and what they stand for? Love has alot more to do with the interior of a person. Think about these things,and see if you feel this way.You need to get to know the person, their likes, dislikes, their secrets, be each others friend. That always works!
668519
what you should do is go back to school and learn how to right a complete sentence. "I feel like me and this guy are made for each other." that does not sound right. it should be " i feel like this guy and I are made for each other."\nby the way i never said i loved two guys. it's  just a question to post up.\n your the little s.l.u.t. trying to take another women's man.
543584
Have you just asked him.  Ask him how he feels for you than ask how he feels about her.  Then ask if he had to choose who would it be.  if he says he don't know than maybe you should get some space but don't disappear.  If you can't handle his feeling for her than you should give ur self some time. Don't be with a man who loves someone else.  but if he tells you his feeling for you are stronger than his feeling for her than you stay and fight for him.  He seems honest considering he let you both know about each other, so I think he'll be honest about his feelings for the both of you.  You Know, even when people love each other they do grow apart and even though they have nine years he may not be the same man and may actually be the one for you now.
100419
Part of life and dating is finding out exactly what you are looking for in a man.  All of us get hurt at one time or another, some of us more often than others.  The heartache comes from having a strong connection with the individual, and then one day everything is gone, and IF we are lucky we may maintain a friendship with that individual (but how often does that happen?).  I know, I'm dealing with this now.  Yes it hurts.  Those men that have greatly impacted my life and are no longer in it....I never really forget them, they are just not always in the forefront of my mind, but I still think of them, some more than others.  It's ok to never completely let go of them in your mind.  I have had to write in a notebook to him, at least I don't feel so overwhelmed with my thoughts this way.  Be strong, it's hard, but we all go through this.\n\nLike they say:  It's better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved before.....\n\nand: Things come and go from our lives, it's how we loved them and how much we loved them the time they were here that counts.\n\nIf you care for this person and have showed it to him....he won't forget you, he will use you as a comparison for his next relationships, and that can be a good thing.
614741
You yourself could answer this question...You feel that you are living a lie....and you are feeling guilty for living a lie and not being yourself....someone other than your boyfriend is trying to convince you that you are living a lie while your boyfrind is trying to convince you to stay with him..Is he in the light? seems to me the tunnel is the darkness or wrongness you are feeling the voice in coming from within the darkness and your boyfriend is in the light...someone is trying ot convince you that your life is wrong but you feel that this voice is somehow coming from the darkness...although your boyfriend may seem needy he is in the light and you can see him and the voice you cannot see therefore less trustworthy..your are torn between two lovers the one you are with is clingy yet you feel this is what is right the one in the darkness you cannot see is less worthy of trust  but he is telling you that you are living a lie...have you cheated with another man? is the darkness guilt? is the other man teling you to leave your current boyfriend? Is the current boyfriend needy? is the other one less trust worthy or are you having a hard time giving your trust to the other man? have you lied to either or both of them? you have to make a decision based not only on what is best for you but what is right and wrong...and guilt is playing a big part of your dream....
518032
how long have you known him? Why would you save him for last? Being around other people means that you date other people? Traces are not real love-FYI.
140196
Go for someone really cherish u more. I had these experience with me too. Yes, is very natural for u to do a compare. But once a friend did told me, is not fair to do a compare like that, caused they are both different person. I finally understand and moved on. Now I am happy then before. Is not easy. But you must try. Take care.
54193
Honstly I dont think that you know what being in love is.It is apparent to me that maybe you are attracted to both men for different reasons but your actions by cheating dont spell love.\n\nIf you really did love either of these men, then in no way could you play one guy against the other like you are doing. When you really love someone you dont cheat on them. I dont mean to be blunt but reading your question made me feel sorry for the guys, this isnt fair to them what you are doing.\n\nMaybe you need to re-evaluate what your concept of love is, because when you deeply love someone, their best interests come above yours.\n\n             Here is a good model of REAL Love;\n\n            Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.\n                 1 Corinthians 13:4\n\n\n    Something to think about:\nReallove has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give — which is everything. \n\n     When you are truely in love, you will see that is is so consuming and wonderful, there is no way possible that you could feel that way for 2 men. From what you wrote, you are speaking about attraction, not love.
649356
Thats how I feel. I want a relationship but the person I want it with seems disinterested , when initially they appeared to be. Guess I'm too slow & old fashioned as I wanted them to make the first move & they didn't. Think they may have moved on to another. I don't know for certain but I am still in the same zone, in love with them. I'll always love them. I promised I would & I meant it. I have not gone back on the promise, have seen no one for a VERY LONG  TIME and will not, even though I may have said I did just to make them jealous because I want them to notice me. I love them. I want them. How much more can I say it, prove it, whatever. I feel bad for you. Don't be like me & feel like fading away & dying because you feel useless. Do something before it's too late.
552100
Well, this seems to be a tricky situation. I have been in a similar, yet not so intimate situation, with another friend. Now let me tell you what I did to solve the situation. This answer may give you an idea as to what your next step should be. \nI didn't feel the same way because I thought it was forced. I love my friend in lots of ways but when it feels forced then it is hard to get past the idea that we are not friends. At that time I felt uncomfortable. He likes me still. But I told him that we could just be friends. Now we are still friends and we're glad for it. Sometimes the timing may not be right or she feels it is forced. At this moment cherish the fact that you guys are friends. When the time feels right she will automatically open up to you. At that time, it will not feel forced and you will not have lost a good friend. Remember people feel uncomfortable and forced in many different ways.\nSee, differences between individuals are evident in any relationship, but it is how one handles those differences within the relationship that matters. Are you willing to lose a good friend over your desire for it to be more than that? Decision is up to you.
525728
I'd be cautious with the old flame, sounds like he's scared of commitment.  You could renew a friendship, but keep it VERY casual.  You still need alittle time to see if you trust he's telling the truth and to see where this new relationship is going.  One of these fellows might be the ONE for you, you just can't tell yet.  If I was in your situation, I would hold the old one as a friend right now (you already know what kind of lover he is--and you do not want to cheat on your new one)  and explore the new one to it's fullest.  The old one let you go first.  If he really cares for you as he professes, he will wait with/for you.  You need alittle more time to sort things out, and this could test the old ones mettle.  He could be rebounding from a crushing relationship and just be looking for a familiar place to hang.  Time will show you this, do not be blinded by emotions, protect your heart and health.  Good luck.