Okay, before you answer my question, you have to read (a novel =P) this first.\n\nMy best friend and I are like total opposites.... but that's what makes it all the better. She helps everyone with their problems, and I go to her as well. Well one day I complained about a family issue I was having.... I IMed her, and I didn't sense anything wrong. She solved it for me, but a few weeks later she told me that I saved her life by that IM. She was going to commit suicide, and when I sent that IM, she said she had a reason to live for.... me. I was shocked and I didn't really know what to say.\nWell, lately she's been going through major issues, and to vent, she cuts herself. I know she shouldn't and I beg her not to. I would send her to get professional help, but I live 1,000 miles away (I moved out of state last year). I really don't know how to solve this issue since I haven't dealt with it before.\nOkay, my question.\nHow do I help her with her suicidal thoughts/cutting?
205876
get her some help no matter what the cost, find out who's around her now and work with them
635779
If she commits suicide it is not your fault. It sounds like you have done everything you can to help her. Just be there for her without sacrificing your own mental health.\nDo not exhaust yourself for this woman. She has to help herself. And you don't need to be exposing your child to her. My advice would be to minimize contact, not completely, but enough that it doesn't affect you or your child, and do NOT let this woman control you. Don't let her make you feel guilty for her problems. Your first priority is your kid, and this drama could be messing him/her up psychologically. You do NOT owe your friend anything. But you do owe your child a safe stable home life.\n\nPlease ignore people who are saying she is only looking for attention. I have a bit of experience with suicide as well. And on one hand, she needs support, but on the other hand, it really sounds like you are exhausted. Be supportive of her, but don't get emotionally involved with it. Don't go out on a limb for her, there's no reason to sacrifice your own happiness(it hasn't helped you before has it?) for hers.\nPeople with suicidal tendencies tend to make many attempts before actually committing suicide. So the "if she's so serious why isn't she dead?" argument is *ahem* fatally flawed. Suicide is serious business, and I don't recommend completely abandoning her, that is not what I meant before. But you do have a child to consider in all of this, so minimum, but supportive contact would be the best. \nShe may or may not be "just seeking attention", but either way she is in serious need of mental help, and support from loved ones.\nThe site below has some insights about suicide and how you can more effectively help her and what kinds of things you should avoid saying.  It could be that she is not getting the right kind of support, because people tend to be uncomfortable with suicide and say the wrong things and make it worse. Be informed before you talk to her. Good luck.
618640
I went back and looked at the questions and answers.  You were very careful not to reveal anything about her, except for the problem.  I think that she is taking her stress out on you.  She doesn't realize what a good friend you are being to her.  She does need help, and much more help than you can give her.  Can she go to her parents?  I want to say thank you to you, you are showing what a true friend is.
199440
Well you seem to be going through alot! I am sorry! I will be praying for you and your friend! I wish I had all the answers -but I don't! Off course you want to help her- she is your friend- but it sounds like she needs help you can't give her! You need to decide do you want live with her! Can you deal with all the drama? Really search yourself- because she is going to need support and a lot of help! I wish you the best! You sound like a really good friend- when she will let you be her friend! A word -- never cheat! No matter what a person says to you! Just not a good plan! You take care- if you like to talk- http://360.yahoo.com/cloeenloe
560794
Make sure your friend knows you care about her, and your response was out of fear for her.  Talk to her, and be there for her.  Encourage her to talk to a counselor, to get some help.  Cutting is usually a sign of some deeper issue.
506133
If she brings it up than yeah! ask her questions.  this is probably the best time to support your friend, and she needs your help right now to be there for her if she needs someone to talk to.  Don't be over the top with it, just say how happy you are that she's seeking help and that you're there for her every step of the way.
162150
Wow, I'm SO PROUD OF YOU!  You are mature beyond your years!\n\nSometimes, we risk others being mad at us when we do things to help.  This is very serious, and you definitely did the right thing.  If she does find out, and gets mad, it will be hard for you, but not as hard, as you said, as if she were to seriously harm herself.  I hope you told an adult.  If it continues, and the adult doesn't do anything,  you need to keep trying until someone does help her. \n\nSomeday she will know that you were a true friend to her.  Hopefully, you won't have to deal with her anger.\n\nGOD Bless You!
201045
The poor thing...  She is lucky that she has you as a friend who really wants to help her.  I dont blame her for not wanting to talk, she must feel terrible.  I think the best thing to do is to go somewhere with her where there is no-one else around you guys, like the beach or a park or go on a bushwalk, or just do something that you know she loves.  Make sure no-one else is around (especially not the people who are making fun of her) and try and get her to relax and not be afraid to speak. \nIf you cant get her to go anywhere with you straight away, try sending text messages to communicate or write each other letters.  Buy her a diary to write down all her feelings in.  \n\nShe needs to know she has support.  Try talking to her family (as long as they arent the ones who are laughing at her).  If you dont help her now, (or get someone to help her) she could end up developing social disorders or agraphobia (where she will be too scared to leave the house).  You are a great friend, she is lucky to have a friend who cares about her and doesnt make fun of her.  Just help her through it as best you can.. And as for the people laughing at her, how pathetic.  They must be really horrible people to make your friends life hell. Good on u for sticking by her.
575097
Tell Someone. \n\nA lot of cutters do it for attention or to punish themselves.  You do need to tell someone so she can get  help. Tell her mom, your mom, or a teacher. \n\nThe problem with cutting is that not only does it leave nasty scars, can cause serious tendon problems, infections, et cetera. \n\nI mean, hospitalization might be just what she needs....Personally I think she needs someone to talk to. You could sit her down and have a nice long talk with her. \nShe probably needs therapy. I'm not a big fan of psych drugs, but they might be useful in helping her survive through highschool. \n\nI know what your friend is going through. I had a rough childhood and started in with self mutiliation too. I did a lot of stupid things. \n\nThe most important part is that she has a good friend to talk to. She needs to find a healthier way to express anger. I mean lots of teens hate themselves, very few wind up damaging their bodies. \n\nMaybe you could try to help her fit in at school. If you do think she's going to actually hurt herself, get help or something nasty might happen. I mean you don't want to be in the position of wondering if there was something you "could have done", ya know? We don't want her offing herself. \n\nOne way to tell is if they hide it then there are serious problems, if she's flaunting it, she's just out for attention. I'm a little concerned about your friend b/c she's hiding her emotions and acting suspicious. \n\nMy thought is that if you are a good friend, you'll do what's right to ensure her...longevity and minimize the collateral damage, ya know?  This isn't an issue of what You 'want', this is an issue of what She 'needs'....and she certainly needs to stop chopping away at her arms. \n\nGood Luck!
119249
suicidal friend:its a phase, talk to her, show her youre there and maybe she'll realize taht shes important enough to live. are her parents causing trouble in her life? thats probably it believe it or not.\n\nANd about the talking behind the back thing, its so immature, are you in middle school because come on seriously, dont even care what the hell other people think\njust ignore them\ntheyre stupid\nthey will be losers when they grow up\nyou will be a better person because you never cared
505977
Brush you're self off and get back up... You don't need so called best friends who all of a sudden stop being you're friend there not worth you're time or you're friendship..so move on and find another friend who is worthy of a true friend like yourself...Keep smiling!!!!\n\n    Hey don't Listen to Zink she came in here and gave everyone thumbs down on helping you out about you're best friend now what kind of friend would she be? Not one i would want BACK STABBERS stay away from them!!!
419943
Everybody THINKS about suicide from time to time, like a fleeting thought that could possibly be their "solution" to their problems.  It is a SERIOUS issue when these thoughts turn to plans and these plans turn to intentions!  Just remember you cannot SAVE her life! She has to get help herself.  All you can do is let her know you care, give her some sources and definitely tell her b/f, husband, fiance (whatever) and a trusted member of her family.  Don't let it lie on your shoulders.\n\nIt's also important to realize that she is infact pregnant, and that means HORMONES ARE GOING CRAZY...That could be another influence to her suicidal thoughts.\n\nHere are some helplines.  you can call them as well to find out what else you can do.\n\n\n1-800-SUICIDE- Hope Line\n1-800-273-TALK- Suicide Prevention Line
145125
You need to take action right now. Either tell his parents or call 911 and shown them the text messages. He may get mad at you but if you really care for him you have to take the risk. He will eventually be very thankful that you were there for him when he needed you. He is crying out for help, all treats of suicide are crys for help. He has reached a point where what ever emotional pain he feels is too strong for him to deal with on his own. He needs and wants help or else he would have said nothing and acted on commiting suicide. But if you do nothing he may think you don't take him seriously and feel traped to attempt suicide sine he made the threat. Help you friend the only way you can by getting him help from his parents of the emergency system. You may be the only one that can. How will you feel if you don't and you find out he is dead tomorrow?\n\nLet me know how this works out. Good luck.\n\nSincerely,\nTerry
515593
.Nope they wont call the cops on you. If they did nobody would ever call. You'll be totally anonymous. They're there to help people. Simple as that. Sometimes a person has nobody to talk to at all. No family or friends they feel comfortable with. Sometimes talking to a complete stranger is easier. Plus the person who answers the phone knows what they're talking about. They've either tried to commit suicide or they had someone they were close to commit suicide.\nI'm not qualified to talk to anybody about it really. My best friend did shoot himself in the head though just over 6 years ago now. So I do know from personal experience the pain he caused me and his family. He left a wife and two little girls. I didn't get a chance to help him. I had no idea it was coming. Tell your friend to deal with their pain and talk to someone so their family and friends don't have to feel it. k?\n.
170754
I would like to say That I never have but one of my best friends committed suicide on the 13th November last year. Anyone who is contemplating it please, please, please speak to someone and ask for help. I know its hard to do this and every situation is different but it will be for the best I guarantee it!
279900
You should ask her whats bothering her and talk to her about it. Maybe shes depressed and she just needs someone to ask her "Whats wrong?". Listen to her and maybe there is something else going on there.\n\nIf I ever had a best friend who was acting differently than normal. I would worry and try to find out whats going on.
154879
From personal experiences growing up, I know how much that can hurt; I'm very sorry you're going through this. \n\nMy best advice for you would be to ignore the cruel things she says and does to you. I know that it's very hard to turn a blind eye, but sometimes that's all you can do.\n\nI would also suggest that you not try and be friends with her. You should be courteous to her, but you do not need to be her best bud. If she is such a mean girl, do you really want to become her friend? Girls like that are very charming and manipulative. They can get you to do things you would never dream of doing. I once became good friends with the "mean girl" of my school (just so she wouldn't be mean to me), and she pulled me into the peer abuse with her. Before I knew it, she was having me say and do horribly mean things to the girl that had been my best friend since I was 4. I did horrible things to her, and I live with that guilt every single day of my life, even though now we're both grown women and she has told me that I am forgiven. It's a horrible feeling, let me tell you.\n\nSo, to sum up this short novel I've written: Don't pay attention when she does crap to you. When you try and fight back, you're just feeding the beast. Kill her with kindness, but do not try and become her pal. It will only hurt you in the long run.\n\nI truly hope your situation gets better real soon!