My husband and I married only for two years. He is twice divorced and had 5 kids from the ex-wife. We don't have kids yet and I'm the new wife now. He is more caring and plans for his grown-up children ages 29 to 32 years old from his ex-wife. Whenever my husband's ex-wife calls here at home, I see my husband scary and more caring about his ex-wife; he hurriedly reply and call back sneaking with me.  But when I will call him he doesn't care for me.  He is more caring and planning for his first family. I felt like left-over and taken for granted.  What I did now whenever my husband calls me like when he is at work I told him I will never answer his phone calls anymore and told him just call his ex-wife. At home I just do what a wife should do cooking, cleaning the house etc.  I have already told everything what hurts me and what I dislikes; but nothing happens he just don't care. What should I do?
202861
doesn't seem like you are a 'married' couple. time to think about counseling or leaving.
205682
I think you are already worried or you wouldn't have asked the question on here. I do not think this is appropriate at all. Your husband should tell them, I'm married now and I don't think it is a good idea to "keep in touch". NO WAY are you being childish, your being smart.
521580
It sounds like only one of you matured.  If he is going to treat you like a room mate, then why not return the favor.  Stop doing his laundry, stop cooking him supper, just you and the kids, stop making it easy for him.  Before you do that though, get the kids off to mom's or someplace they will be taken care of, take his keyboard, mouse and monitor and hide them and tell him he can have them back after the two of you talk.  Sit him down and tell him how you feel, let him know that you feel neglected and more like his live in maid than his wife and that you need more.  If he fails to respond, stop doing for him and when he asks why, you can let him know that since you are not having your needs met by him, that you do not find it necessary to meet his.  If you still can not get his attention, just set up a week vacation for you and the kids, don't say a word about it to him, just go to your mom and dad's or bothers or sisters for a week.  Let him come home to an empty house where he has to do everything for himself and take care of the dogs.  If he does not like it, let him know that if you do not get some of his attention, he will have it like that everyday of his life when you leave him for good.
220878
in my own point of view, your husband doesn't wants to have any kind of responsability what so ever, and the first mistake is that to keep details in the past to much time in the dark so once in the light they brought shadows into the relationship....was important is today, and today the things between you both are not been true at least mostly from his side....going to Europe and keeping that poor communication is not giving you and the kids the importance and value that you all have.....put aside that he might change because i see it very difficult to be, he is playing a doble life and he is to into it that he can't see the courage to walk away from it...you need to find the time and put on thought that you are a very precious being and so are your kids to still wanting for something that it might not come, at least from your husband....unbelieveble as it is there are still good men around, chances to look for a better oportunity for you to be TRUELY LOVED and care about and also your kids are possible in the matter of how you work with what you see is the right time and person to share with a relationship....of course your husband might not want to divorce since it will cost child support and (please understand this is my intuition and perspective) if he has another person in his life there in Europe if things doesn't work later on with her he knows you will be there waiting for him to the rescue........it is a very hard situation, but know that the desicions you make today will have an effect for what tomorrow might bring......fight for your own destiny and happiness, and believe in something, there is a Lord above in the Heavens that never leaves his children side, ask and you should received for the sake of you and your family.......lots of blessings and Good Luck
27936
well, i he loves you then make him work for you. you are obviously a good wife cause you still stay by his side, but that only means you deserve the best. tell him how you feel. if all gets worse then you should think about talking to God. He cares for you and your child. if you ever need more advice feel free to email me. i hope all turns out well.
535493
this is a tough one.  its hard to find your balance after a divorce.  do you think he wants you back or is he trying to maintain some kind of friendship?  i think you should just tell him.  if he severs contact with the kids then maybe thats not such a bad thing for them.  why should they have to deal with a sometimes dad who doesnt put them first?  if he is that immature then maybe they are better off.  it is hard to make decisions that may do harm on your kids especially when they are too young to truly understand.  my ex does the same thing.  i just limit the contact as much as possible.  also when he calls, you could just put one of the kids on the phone.  eventually he would get the point.  good luck.
13856
I'm sorry to say but I think it's a case of "out of sight, out of mind".  \n\nI imagine he does love his kids but is so selfishly involved with his own life, they are easy to forget.  He just tells himself it's not his fault, and that they are getting everything they need without his being there. That takes care of any conscience he has going on.\n\nI say this because when my husband & I split up, he told me the same thing about visiting his kids - that it hurt him too much to have to leave them again.  In reality, he didn't care enough to send them birthday or Christmas gifts or even to bother with support payments.  When they were grown, he started to see them for awhile but when they didn't worship him, he stopped.  Amazingly, he was the one who wanted to have a houseful of kids too.\n\nHe always had the time and money for his own life. He just didn't have the emotions needed to separate his kids from his marriage pain.\n\nIt's rough on the kids but if you are strong and give them a lot of love and supervision, they will come through it alright.\n\nBest of luck to you.
17979
It depends on the two of you. I know a ex married couple that stayed friends after 24 years of being divorced. Thats a long time and a rare occassion. They are my parents lol. Now if you ended on bad terms and are trying to get along then probably not. Or maybe he is still into you and just wants to end it before he gets caught up into the feelings all over again knowing that you can never be together.
55841
Considering you aided in the breakup of her home, you should stay as far away as possible.  I suspect you either have feelings of guilt or you are afraid that your husband will do to you what he did to his first wife or you think he will realize the error of his ways and go back to the ex wife and YOU SHOULD!\n\nI can only assume there were problems in the husband's first marriage which caused him to seek consolation outside the marriage so you are not totally to blame for the distruction of their marriage, but you provided him with the means and the opportunity.  Now that you are in the wife's position I think you may see things a little more clearly.\n\nSomewhere within yourself you are questioning whether or not you can trust your husband.  You are questioning whether it is a pattern for him to seek outside the marriage at the first sign of trouble.  I also think you know your husband and his ex has unfinished business.  The problem that caused their marriage to breakdown was never discovered or brought to the surface and the possibility that he may wake up one day and realize he still loves his ex wife and he only hooked up with you because he did not know how to communicate his needs.  \n\nBefriending the ex wife is not going to keep the husband from cheating if he so chooses nor will it provide you with peace of mind.  Remember the old saying 'what goes around, comes around.  It is true and it is called Karma.
591952
You said this just started and for no apparent reason. Maybe it is just that you have no clue to the reasoning behind it. I am not saying he is justified in treating you like crap or doing things in front of the children that he shouldn't but there has to be a reason for it. Have you tried asking him what is going on. Maybe something has happened and for what ever reason he can't or doesn't know how to share this with you so in turn his actions is a result of what ever is really bothering him. You have made it clear you won't put up with this so stress this to him again that if he can't share with you what is going on you can't try to help him with it but that he isn't going to take it out on you either. He needs to make the choice as to what to do and then you can choose what to do based on how he feels. I really feel for you hun as something happened to my ex husband and he thought he would become physical with me until I told him he would die before he hit me again and of course the final results was I left. I couldn't fix something that I had no clue as to what was going on and I was not going to be hit on or abused in any other way either. I hope he comes around before you leave him but do what is best for you and the children hun!!.
370353
if they don't have children, there is no reason to talk to her anymore for any reason, she is just jelous, that her life isn't as happy as his life, and she could be having second thoughts, or she could still be in love with him. keep her away from your husband and your house.
520968
Your husband needs to be reminded that he married you not his parents and it's not his responsibility to take care of them.  He has his own family to provide for.  And as parents they should be more understanding of that.   A lot of times families think that because their family members is married that there is more money for them but that is just not true.  If they need money, they might need to look to some other sources for income.  Remember is one of the top reasons why marriages end in divorce.  Continue to talk to your husband a bout this and maybe he will see the light.  I feel your pain was in the same situation with my ex.
78593
I have much REspect for you.Please be STRONG for your children!I am a married woman.I'm 34(he's 35)and I have been with my spouse since high school(15yrs old)!Lately,I have been thinking Alot about divorce!We have had our share of problems in this marriage!(we've cheated,seperated,etc!)Please don't fill like a Failure!You are a mother!Although you may not be a wife,anymore.A mother is the most IMportant thing you could ever do in your life!And you should REspect yourself for that!I have two beautiful daughters as well(ages 12&8).And,they do not want me to seperate from their father.However,I am not happy.I am miserable.It really seems as if we have grown apart throughout the years!Although he will NOT admit it.And he will not leave!Because,he would have to go and live with his mother.He was laid off,collected UNemployment for 6 mths.Now,He has ZERO income.But,it's not even about the money.I have a decent Income.But my money goes I pay all of the bills,etc,etc!With no help from him.He ignores me alot lately.He yells at me if I ask him when he's gonna start to look for employment.We do not sleep together,anymore.(Rarely)!But yet,I won't get rid of him because I am AFRAID!I am afraid of being alone!I am afraid of being a single mom!I do NOT have much support!No family or friends that wanna hear about it!My only family is my mother and she flips out when I mention his name!Because she despises him.And thinks he is an UNfit father and husband,she has even tried to fiX me up with others.Don't get me wrong,He has worked in the past.But there aren't alot of great jobs here in our area.But I thought since he isn't working he would help me around the house more!He does a lil bit but NOT much!He just sleeps constantly,OR plays that damn XboX,or watches Tv 24-7!And it is starting to drive me crazy!We could be tottaly broke need gas,need bread and milk,everything.And he would sit all day and play xbox/or watch tv and act like everythings all good??Please is anyone else out there eXperiencing this with their man/hubby?I would love to hear from you!I would go craZy without this site!lol.I am so ready to call it quits!But,I am just so afraid of being alone.But,It would be so GREAT to find a man who loves me like I love him!One who works,likes the outdoors,fishes,hunts,etc,etc!And one who is good with children!Believe me hun,they are out there!They are just hard to find!But,don't give up!Pray!I bet you time will heal the hurt you are feeling now!And,when you do meet someone else you'll be ready!And hopefully happier than you ever were with him!And I agree with the above look into some support groups they will definately help you!(maybe I should take my own advice,huh?lol)Plus,you may meet someone there you never know.Or at least make some NEW friends!Hey GOOD luck to you!And hey your not all alone dear!You do have us!lol Even though it's just a website.We are all here to help you and give you advice!Sometimes I think I would rather be ALone!Than be with someone who is abusive.And makes me feel Unloved,UNwanted and Neglected!But then again,I might freak out(seriously!)I am just so dependant on him.Even though the marriage is done.And it's stale.I continue to stay?Yes,I am in counseling.But, no that hasn't helped much either!I am on anti depressants,and a whole bunch of other meds.But,I still feel the same.Maybe I'm too afraid to be loved?I don't know what it is anymore.But think of it this way,At least you can be proud of yourself for standing on your own two feet,and raising your children!May I ask why you got divorced after so many years together?Was it your idea or his?If you don't mind sharing.I am really curious about what happened?Thanks!Take Care and good luck to you and the kids!
144982
My ex-husband and I have a daughter together and we have a great FRIEND relationship. When you have children you are commited to that child by a bond and the love you ONCE had. You will always have a realationship with that person if you love your children enough to look past the bad and work together for the better cause. I wouldnt worry unless he is having sleep overs!
667642
He is getting to live his life, not only without parents but he has a whole new freedom he has never had before. I bet is he just has to get some things out of his system. I would let him go. Put things on hold to let you two live life apart for a while. From the sound of how strong you guys are everything will be fine. The saying, "Love is like a butterfly, let it go and if it is meant to be it will come back" is truer then ever in this senario. He is learning and seeing alot of new things and probably wondering if there is something else he should be doing with his life. He will experement with different things, realize nothing is better then what he has at home and come back. It is nothing agianst you, it's just someting people have to do sometimes. If he doesn't do it now, he may do it later and it could ruin your relatioship forever. My husband decieded to do it a couple of months AFTER we married, and if it weren't for me realizing what he was going through, I'd have left him. I almost did regardless. But I decieded to see if he had really come to the truth that it was me he wanted, he had and 5 yrs later, we're doing great. But it caused a lot of unnessary strain and stress on the realationship. If you really love him and want it to work, let him do what he needs and don't hold anything agianst him later. He'll come back. Good luck
547544
This person was an important part of his life in the past. Regardless of the fact the she was a past girlfriend, she was obviously a good friend of your husbands. You don't say how long it has been, but you should allow him enough time to grieve his loss. People deal with death in different ways. If he needs space, give it to him. Perhaps he feels strange grieving around you because it was an ex-girlfriend. Maybe he doesn't want to hurt your feelings by showing his feelings for another woman. Whatever the case may be, I am sure he will come around in time once he has dealt with his loss.
505796
use a common friend to get to your ex-wife. i think it's very noble of you to try to work things out among yourselves. if your ex-wife still refuse to accept the fact that you're actually doing her a favor by resorting to peacefull means, then you have no choice but to do whatever would be necessary for the sake of your child. you need not feel guilty then if the court decides in your favor because you have tried your best to warn her.