An aquintance (i am not going to call her a friend) of mine at work was chit,chatting with me and out of the blue she said "everybody has been talking about your hair" and i asked her what she was talking about..she said why don't you get any "black" hairstyles..i didn't know what to say..it actually offended me slighty...i have my hair cut into layers (which i admit is not the best look on me..but i don't like to whine about it)\nI choose not to get weave because i would rather be natural..and i think it is ironic because my hairstylist is a black woman who works in a professional salon and she is trained properly....so my question to you is was she out of line? and what is your take on this situation? because i have never been rude to her. I have been fairly confident in myself until now. (forgive me because i didn't know which category to post this in)
199257
I would start off by saying, maybe its not your hair at all. maybe that person have a problem with you. this person maybe jealous of your hairstyle. so If I were you, I wouldn't listen to her, and if everyone has a problem with your hair tell them to all give you some money to get it done.
415314
I used to get called a prarrie nig&er racism is ignorance in the first degree! Be proud of who you are and file a complaint with your employer and see if this qualifies for harrassment, maybe get a restraining order agasnt her!
557332
You do not look like an idiot because you have blue hair. I have coloring in my hair too. My hair is naturally black and I put cherry red strands in the front cupping my face. People judge you because they assume everyone is the same and don't realize that not one single person on the planet is the same. Nobody even has the same skin color. Don't change for anyone. You are fine they are the ones who have the problem with people being different.
474122
well, those things i dont think you can really control without offending someone. i think the most you can do is try to encourage everyone to dress nicely. and remind them that how they look reflects how much they care about their job and the business they work for.
273791
Toni, I think I used to work with her sister; I knew someone just like that. She sounds like a piece of work, and unfortunately there's someone like that at every job, at every church, in every group. But, you didn't take that job for her, and don't lose that job over her. It sounds like you have a lax group of managers that they don't respond to your complaints, but trust and believe they will step in and level their authority once you take matters into your own hands. Don't stoop to her level, but elevate her to yours. Be strong, be patient, and eventually a positive change will take place to remove her as a headache in your life. There will be a promotion, transfer, something, to get her off your back. Actually, you sound pretty funny, maybe one day we can talk and you can come join myself and a sharp female doctor in our business and you won't have to worry about coworkers or bosses. With your sense of humor and your medical background, I think you could do quite well. Good luck to you, and I don't want to see a posting from you asking if anybody knows a good lawyer to represent you for assault (lol) It will get better.
581775
I don't think think Lala is being stereotypical, Pimpslapper.  A lot of Latino men DO stare, and I think it's built into the culture to do that to women.  Seems like it's the Central Americans who stare the most.  Anyway, Lala, being Asian, you may have noticed that some hispanics appear Asian, themselves, due to their heritage, and maybe they think you may have some hispanic blood in you, and they're trying to figure it out.  When I look in the mirror, I see a black person, but many staring Indians have thought I was of Indian descent and were a little irritated that I couldn't speak Farci, Hindu, or another of their many languages.  Lots of staring people in the Dominican Republic were shocked that I couldn't speak Spanish. I've caught myself staring at people who probably think they're white, and I wondered which grand (or great-grand)parent was black.  So much intermingling of races nowadays produces cool results, making people look longer than intended. Next time just ask kindly, "May I help you?" (That's how I find out I simply look like somebody's family member or somthing)  Wow!  Didn't mean to write a book!
459554
if you really care about her and your relationship it shouldnt matter and let me tell you about some black women...alot of us wear hair sewn into our hair for length or fullness and our men know about it and it doesnt bother them
388055
I haven't ever used the term "nigger".  \n\nThe way I have always looked at is that anyone could fall under this stereotype, no matter the pigment of your skin.  \n\nI also haven't worried about the way anyone speaks.  I do think that there are proper ways of conducting yourself in a speaking manner so that other people see you as an educated individual.  It's not and hasn't ever been a color thing for me.  \n\nI’m just not what you would call a people person, and I worry mostly about those who are close to me.\n\nMaybe I’m oblivious to everything that everyone keeps implying or maybe, these things aren't really happening and it's just those people who like dragging them up again to stir controversy.  \n\nI don’t think I’m oblivious.  If you want my honest opinion on the statements presented.  Well, you can only beat a dead horse for so long.  Everyone in this world knows what it is that they need to do to be successful in life, now they only need to act on it, no matter who they are.
593662
I admire you for asking the question, although it could have been phrased better, but I understand what you are asking.\n\nI live in Arkansas and none of the people of African decent have ever said the word around me, nor do they  act, dress, talk down on themselves. "Ghetto" is not cool here for them. Everyone of my friends are professional, and are fun regardless of their pay rate. They b_itch about pay, but then who doesn't. I know I do. There is no mention of "the man keeping them down." I’ve been invited to many cook outs, family reunions, etc., and have never heard this word used, even in a comfortable network place. I have no position of authority and am on equal to most of my friends. Oh and for the record they don’t talk like Carlton Banks from"Fresh Prince". So I think once you get out and about and have a more world view you will see to generate a group of people you are severely limiting yourself of potential good friends.\nNow for your other question...\n\nI’ve shown some of my friend your question and they said I should send you this page. It really sums up why this is such a powerfully hateful word and why it is possibly used in a "positive"(I use that word lightly, and so did they) manner. Oh, and they all said "about damn time someone is brave enough to ask the question of 'why'"\n(sorry for all the text(but read it to the end)...seems this word has some history...)\n\nThis site couldn’t have said it better...I’ve copied it and tried to fix "words" Yahoo will flag with ****...This site is about the word and its history. I tried to peserve the site as much as possible. I am sorry to any that might feel offended by it, not my intent. It is harsh as the word is everywhere, and shows through history how bad it was for Black Americans.\nI never understood political correctness, espesially in sites like here where you want to know why, even if its not PC to do so. How does that help anyone? I think it takes away the means of communication, and in doing so take away the way to fix problems...not cover them up like some oozing wound.\n\nN_igger (the word), a brief history!  \n\n June 1\n  \n*On this date we look at the history of word “N_igger” in America. This word still sits at the center of anti-Black verbal distortions. \n\n*Note: some of the content in this writing may be offensive to young children. \n\nThe history of the word n__igger is often traced to the Latin word niger, meaning black. This word became the noun n_egro (black person) in English, and simply the color black in Spanish and Portuguese. In Early Modern French n_iger became n_egre and, later, n_egress (black woman) was unmistakably a part of lexical history. One can compare to negre the derogatory n_igger and earlier English substitutes such as n_egar, n_eegar, n_eger, and n_iggor that developed into its lexico-semantic true version in English. It is probable that n_igger is a phonetic spelling of the white Southern mispronunciation of N_egro. \n\nNo matter what its origins, by the early 1800s it was firmly established as a degenerative nickname. In the 21st century, it remains a principal symbol of white racism regardless of who is using it. Social scientists refer to words like n_igger, k_ike, s_pic, and w_etback come from three categories: disparaging nicknames (c_hink, d_ago, n_igger, etc); explicit group devaluations ("Jew him down," or "n_iggering the land"); and irrelevant ethnic names used as a mild disparagement ("jewbird" for cuckoos having prominent beaks or "Irish confetti" for bricks thrown in a fight). Racial slurs (over time) have victimized all racial and ethnic groups; but, no American group goes through as many racial nicknames as Blacks: c_oon, t_om, s_avage, p_icanniny, m_ammy, b_uck, s_ambo, j_igaboo, b_uckwheat are some. Many of these slurs became fully traditional pseudo-scientific, literary, cinemati
475446
1)Yes, we still live in a racist country.  I am a 46 year old Black woman who has experienced quite a bit of racism bcos of the color of my skin (caramel) without any knowledge of who I really am.  I have traveled quite a bit within the states as well as other countries & honestly cannot see much of a difference.  Point in case...I've even traveled to Africa & have been faced with questions like "what are you?".  I think that I offended the one asking the question bcos I said "I'm an American".  They responded "do you mean African-American?" to which I responded "sure if thats how you would like to phrase it".  2) Yes my parents had a hard time but they "dealt with it" by being active in the civil rights movement.  My great-grandmother would never let me work in the fields when I visited saying " no way, your Mom & Grandmama would have a fit & besides those days are over for your generation".  She was right, however there are others here who seem to forget that.  With regards to "us guys" still living in this country...this is our country & we'll fight for the right to live here....in peace.
202787
I actually just read an article written by a black woman about how she was tired of men assuming she was just some big-lipped, big-butt sex object.  Whenever guys payed her compliments (especially white males) it usually had something to do with how they were "into her chocolate love" or "wanted a black girl to boss them around in bed" or something else racist and degrading.  She wished people could just tell her something nice without pointing out that she was black.  How about we just compliment people for who they are and forget their skin-color-stereostypes?  There are millions of nice things that can be said of all women, and each woman is different -- they are all beatifully and wonderfully made; they are individuals.
607020
Saw this one at a barber shop:\n\n"If your hair's not becoming to you, you should be coming to us."
150108
I agree that if what she wears is not up to code with the office dress code, then it should be brought to her attention. Without involving the district manager. Unfortunately, the bare-midriff styles have been in for too long a time (okay, I wore a tube top in the 70's and 80's too)and a blurred image of what is proper and not proper for work has come out of it.\nI would suggest striking up a conversation (more than a few in this forum have suggested it) and while praising her work, if applicable, then bring up gently that you've noticed her wardrobe violates company policy. Admit that if the manager had to handle it he/she would be very likely to embarrass you coworker. If she tells you to bugger off, then let things alone and let them take their inevitable course. Make certain you're doing it for the reason of her well being and not because she's on the pudgy side.
493359
okay, scrunchin straight hair never turns out good, and ends up looking trashy!!! please dont do it, accept that thats a style you cant do! ( i gave up on that one myself) im the same way, a little scared to try new stuff. i recently started doing kinda messy, braided pigtails ( like over your ears and the braid doesnt start until the bottom of your ears) and everyone loves them! theyve become my trademark. try them! my hair is really straight too, so it tends to fall sometimes, but just accept it, they still look fun, are sexy and playful!
559967
I've heard it before, but it still made me giggle!! \n\n(my meanie poo sisters say I'm a 'natural' blonde, I'm not you know, I'm a natural brunette, with bits of grey!).
267530
Well, looking at your profile, I see that youve posted this question like 5 times. People cant stand reading the same crap over and over, and worse yet, they cant stand someone who thinks that they have been treated differently than everyone else. \n\nI dont know what you did to get reported, but you obviously offfended people. "Malika" on the other hand, althought not intelligently, she was able to convey her point. And while her point may sound racist, it probably rang true to more people than whatever you posted did. I can understnad what Mailka is saying - while I perhaps do not agree with it entirely, much of it is true. She was explaining why she feels a certain way. You had probably made some sweeping generalization and did not back it up.\n\nWhatever the issue, just know that LIFE IS NOT FAIR.
209901
Well, you do as my daughter is doing, take criminal justice courses. She is going for something different, but at this point, she could work with detectives or be a parole officer, and i can tell you this, my ex sister in law did it, and she got her arsse whipped twice, by females. So go into it with some caution. Hey, about your hairstyle question, i couldn't email you but here is the link for the virtual hairstylist on www.ivillage.com \nhttp://beauty.ivillage.com/hair/virtualhairstylist/start