my husband cheated on me for 4 years after my marriage. but i am ready to forgive him and give him 1 more chance. does he really change and forget that girl?
201975
I feel bad for you. Get some self esteem and find a guy that really respects you. This guy's using you.
99130
I'm sorry you had to go through this, I know how much it hurts when your spouse cheats on you.  I wish I could say you could trust him and that everything will be fine but the truth is he crossed a line and now that line really doesn't exist for him.  I'm sure he regrets hurting you but I doubt if he really regrets that he was with this other woman.  I tried to forgive my ex when she cheated and believe her when she said she wanted to work it out but ultimately she did it again and I realized I could never trust her again.  Trust is one of the basic foundations in a marriage and once it is gone it isn't easily repaired.  I think you need to decide what is right for you and if you don't believe you can honestly trust him again then divorce is your only option.
229454
The truth is you can never trust him again, he has cheated on you and there is no easy way to forget that even though you think that you still love him, trust me you are so much better off without him.\n\nI know that you say that you have tried to get on with your life and I know that you think the pain is never going to end, but you need to stick at it, keep on going, do anything you can to forget about him.  It will take time for these feelings to go but if you stick at it they will go, trust me.\n\nGood luck, whatever you decide to do
217699
This fight...You don't give us much to go on. Some things are very difficult to forgive and even more difficult to forget, if you cheated even if you came back home and said "Oops so sorry honey!" Then he has a right to hold onto some anger until he is able to move on...but if you burned his toast and he is off the shelf with anger, then you may consider that there may be something bigger bothering him. \n\nSee your question is vague, and I don't know if I would advise you to be "pissed" or really begging this man to forgive you! Either way  he's stuck on angry, so maybe there is more to it than just something simple...\n\nI would continue to try to talk to him, if you are REALLY WRONG, then he may never forgive or forget...or it may take a very long time...(as in the case of catching you cheating or something). If it's something that is really of no BIG consequence, then maybe he is going through other things in his own life, that has him temporarily upset with more than you. If he continues to be hostile and does not have good reason for it, then ask him if he thinks the two of you need marriage counseling, if he doesn't want to go, maybe you could go and see if there is anything the counselor might suggest...\n\nYou can't go on forever angry, or confused about his anger...give him some time, some kindness (even if he may not really deserve it the way he's acting)...and maybe he will remember why the two of you are married at all!\n\nGood luck, if this was just something simple, and he is acting like this then it's strange. But if you have done certain things or if he might suspect you have been less than honest with him then he may be wondering how he can go on and try to trust you. If you require for him to forgive and forget, then you feel you have done something wrong, and he does too. It may be more important to him than you think if should be, but if you are the one that needs to be forgiven, then you might have to wait until he is ready to be forgiving. (?)\nruthie~
286231
i hear your question because it's the way i hope the women that cheated with my husband one day will feel sometimes i think she will realize this too late as a punishment and she will be too old to start over in life unlike me because she knew he was married, but i have good and bad days for the most part i let it go and just feel sorry for her and think to myself she is even stupidier than me because he was married and was  showing who he was i'm so glad to hear you woke up but probably because he forced you to by actually ending the relationship thats what happened to me the best thing that could have ever happened Hopefully the next fool will wake up real soon so he will get a chance to be a better guy before it's to late because it's women that really allow these guys to be the assholes they are. I know exactly what your talking about when you say name calling ect my husband convinced the other women i was crazy ect which is a manipulation tactic that allows them to keep doing what there doing and not feel guilty about it anyways you should definitely apologize to his ex-wife even though she probably never thinks about him anymore because the days he consumed her are gone these guys suck the life out of women your consuming days will be gone soon too. She probably will tell you you don't have to apologize for jumping in and catching all the hell from him that was suppose to be hers she'll probably thankyou i know thats what i would do if my x's wife ever said sorry to me. Yes you should definitely apologize though it's nice to be validated and it's never to late to start doing the rite thing because as you just have learned you reap what you sow. It's never to late to start sowing good seeds when you get over all your anger and sorrow one day you might suprise yourself and start praying for him and the one he's with now thats probably what his ex did for you. After all he left you so somebody must be praying for you!!!!---when your 'happily' remmaired & have a man that loves you back you'll know what i mean by this. Godbless
200781
Ummmmmm wait a sec - do I have this straight?\n\nHe cheated on you - you forgave him and gave him a 2nd chance?  \n\nYou later cheated and he won't give YOU a 2nd chance?\n\nWell that about says it all if I have that straight.. he doesn't want to give you that 2nd chance because this is HIS way of getting out and 'blaming you for it'.  I bet he has another 'side'.... I'm so sorry, and realize that you have already punished yourself enough, and that you TRIED to be honorable and tell him the truth, and if you could forgive him and he won't you, he's being a JERK!  I'm sorry /comf!
138154
Yes, sorry to say he misled you and used you. That was a scummy thing for him to do. Don't worry about your ex anymore, he knew how sensitive you are or were, so he played you for a puppet. As far as you marriage goes, if hubby forgives you, then you have to forgive yourself. The healing process begins with your inner self, then you can start working on your relationship. Sure you feel guilty having to bed in bed and knowing your husband wants you, but your not only punishing yourself, but punishing him. Take your time, let him know that you do love him, yes your love for your hubby will return, as soon as you stop thinking about your ex. Get mad about being happy with your ex, and turn that love and energy into your marriage, you may be surprised with the results. Best wishes.
181043
Yep. It's worse that he still sees her...how did you find out that he cheated? Did he admit it to you or did you find out yourself? It's awfully hard to trust someone even if it was someone before you that they cheated on. Often the cheater expects and awaits being cheated on and the cycle continues.
666702
A lot of guys get cold feet, its a big commitment and I would say better now than after you were married. Give him time and I think he will come around.
183027
Once someone cheats on you there is no going back.  I tried the whole forgiveness thing with my fist wife and ultimately it is something you just can't get out of your mind and since he already cheated on you before it is much easier to do it again.  I think he blew his chance with you and you will be better off with someone else.
663754
This is a very individual thing, I forgave my ex husband and he cheated on me again, I could not forgive him a second time.  People will tell you that once some one cheats, they will do it again, this is not always true and sometimes people can stay faithful after going through this and their marriage is stronger afterwards.  It takes a lot of hard work and effort on both parts, if you forgive and forget that means not bringing it up every time you have a fight.  If you really feel you want to forgive and get back with him, then I wish you all the luck in the world.
331573
I cheated when I was in a teenage relatinship now my ex fiancee he is now married cheated on me 3 times says he didn't left for one girl then when they broke up he met his new wife he has cheated on her with 4 diffrent people and also has TRIED to cheat on her with me Now my new fiancee has been cheated on and he says he would never and could never do it cause he knows how it feels. He even tries to get my ex to stop cheating especially since he married that girl she has no clue what is going on. I tried to warn her and show her the signs
590722
honey, people don't change. once a cheater always a cheater, yourself included.  apparently there were problems with the relationship or you two wouldn't have been messing around on each other.  i know its probably not what you want to here, but you need to move on.
512804
If he left his wife for you, your chances that he won't cheat on your are extremely slim. Good luck. You'll need it!
243248
Sounds as if he has moved on in his mind and left you and the marriage behind. Sad that after 8 years. How you can improve your marriage is how you react to the sitution right now. Don't beg or bug him about anything. Give him some room and the old saying if you set someone free and they come back they are yours is very true............
673215
i think you should leave him. if he really cared about you and loved you he wouldn't have slept with someone else. he has hurt you and you could "never forget it". and i agree with you, it should've been OBVIOUS what to do if he's been with you for 6 years! if you forgive him and let him back into your life, he'll be even worse and go "play" with a whole bunch of other girls. he isnt worth your time . . . you should try to forget bout him and look for new people. \ni hope this helped (even though i dont really think it did)\nbut GOOD LUCK!\nhope everything works out for you = ]
54072
She shouldn't accept his excuses once, far less ten times. She may be loving and faithful to him but his actions clearly demonstrate that he does not share similar sentiments toward her. She needs to be loving and faithful to herself first. After ten times of cheating this is a habit for him and he's not going to change and she's just hanging around waiting on heartache if she stays.