My husband love his best friend to death. I'll be out of place if the best friend is around.He calls him everynow and then and talked for several hours in a closed door room. I caught him several times watching porno in the internet or video. We made love once in 3 months or never. And he made love like a log and won't last for 3 minutes. Is he gay or what?
210616
There's something u need to talk to your husband about but I doubt that he will talk to you about it. I went thru the same thing with mine the last year or so of my marriage and decided to leave because he wouldn't open up.\nWe went to a councelor once but he wouldn't Talk about it or whatever it was. He wouldn't even talk to the councelor except to make it all look like my fault. So I don't know if he was gay or not. He had a thing about his best friend too. He always told me nobody could ever seperate them and I never ever tried anyway. But I often wondered why he would get so hyped up about going out of town on those long trips with his buddy. I thought at the time it was natural that men had a best buddy and I suppose It is for some. There could have been something else going on besides that. He never wanted me to go but a time or two I wanted to just to get away for awhile but he didn't want me to go. Yours could be having an affair with a woman, mine could have been too. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm over it but still puzzled. Good Luck. Maybe you can get yours to open up.
380497
I agree Matt...and it seems most on here have kinda missed the question...or maybe I have.\n\nIt's not what you call him as a term of endearment....although I think that's a great question I'd like to see all the answers to. What I think you're asking is how you refer to that person in your life....when introducing them to others, or talking about them to others.\n\nWith my ex I used partner and hated it. It sounds like we're CPA's together or something. \nLife partner is icky \nBoyfriend sound like we're in Summer camp\nLover...eeewwww\n\nEven though we were together for a decade I never used husband because it is a lie. We had not exchanged vows in our church (though we would have been allowed to get married there). I think marriage is a deadly serious thing that I do not want to cheapen by using it erroneously.\n\nSo, I ended up using partner and probably (hopefully) will again in the future. But I'd sure like something else.\n\nI don't think this is uniquely gay either...straights don't really have a better word, do they?
223234
It sounds like he is really confused right now. He may need space to think things out. Alot homosexual people struggle with their feelings. It is natural for him to feel torn between his feeling and longing for a sense of normality in his life. Alot of gay males try the straght thing thinking that they can have a natural family and be accepted by society but then realise later that they are trying to change themselves. He may be going through one of those times right now. If you have seen him on the gay dating sites that is a bit different. Are you sure that those profiles are not old? some people continue to check old dating accounts just to see who responded. Ask him about them. If he gets defensive, then you may have a clue. Just give him some time to sort things out and if what you guys have is worth saving he will realize it. for now be his friend and help him find hisself. And dont listent to any negativity on here...we dont choose who we love
133329
For a minute there I thought I wrote this.Or maybe we've married the same man.lol.Why do they expect us to get all....excuse the saying...hot and horny from boob groping.I really cant answer u but please let me know what people suggest.The only suggestion i have is grab him roughly (u know where) when he least expects it.Let's see his arousement then!!!! lol.
468707
I would say with some certainty that your spouse is Gay.  He's probably not even bi if you're only having sex a couple of times a year.  He probably thought that finding a woman he loved well enough, and getting married would cure him.\n\nWhy anyone still thinks that is a mystery to me.\n\nIn any case, don't panic.  If you still love him, you have to reroute that love to platonic.  You can still function as a family, but you both have to be real with each other and with yourselves.\n\nMany couples get divorced in such a situation, but many also stay legally married, and/or at least roomates so that the kids' lives don't get overly disrupted.\n\nBecause he'll only be recently out of the closet though, there will be some things you'll need to be prepared for.\n\nGay guys who come out late have kind of missed their adolescence.  So you want to make it clear that you will not accept any kind of teenage level behavior from him.  He doesn't have to be a total fairy just because he likes men, so he should resist pressure to be more swishy than he truly wants to be.  Even if he turns out to be psychologically androgynous, to take on sterotyped pseudo-feminine behavior is not respectful to his true feminine side.\n\nIf it turns out that he is actually bi, then you have to let him know that while you accept his orientation, you still signed on for a monogamous relationship.  Cheating is still cheating, regardless of the gender.  If he wants to see other people, he needs to go out there and find someone else.\n\n...and even if he is bi, if he's bored with you or doesn't love you anymore, you have to deal with that for what it is.\n\nIf he is totally Gay and you want to stay living together, you both have to set some ground rules about your boyfriends.  Agree not to bring anyone into your lives too far, who isn't serious.  The kids if you have any, shouldn't be seeing all kinds of people coming in and out of the house.\n\nIf you don't have kids, it is worth considering that perhaps the reason he chose you is because you are the woman he wants to be the mother of his kids.  So you are important to him...just not in the way that you planned.\n\nOne things you should do promptly is get an std screening.  He may have been on the downlow for some time.  It is not uncommon for guys who are hiding their being Gay, to go out and have casual or anonymous sex with other men.  No matter what he tells you, get tested.\n\nAlso, get some counseling.  Many women have gone through what you have.  The biggest problem of all this is trust that has been lost.  It's hard to trust someone who has been lying to you and probably to himself and everyone else for years and years.  It will take some time to rebuild trust, and well...It may be impossible.\n\nI don't know your husband, so I can't say what exactly will happen.  Whatever happens though, don't take this too hard.  It has been happenning for a long time, and truly alot of guys have trouble knowing themselves until it's too late.  This definitely isn't your fault, and it might not be his either.\n\nWhen guys are young, they can get turned on by all kinds of things.  A guy who is 100% Gay can meet a woman, be attracted to, and have sex with her for some time.  Because he loves her, he thinks he's been cured.\n\nThen as he gets a little older, and his testosterone isn't so high, his desires start narrowing down to the bare minimum of things that turn him on.  Some guys, this happens to at 30ish, but some not until their 40's.  That's why so many people in kink groups are old.  They've been forced by their bodies and their situations to face facts about what they really want sexually.\n\nGuys in their 40's to 50's often no longer get as turned on by visual or voice stimulation.  They need touching for awhile, and there is also usually some emotional component that they have to have as well.  Younger guys
609944
Just because he didnt have sex with you or the other woman doesnt make him gay. That is jumping to conclusions. Perhaps he was emotional issues?  Perhaps he kept thinking about an ex-girlfriend? Perhaps he just wasn't attracted to you guys???  There are countless scenarios.
676306
just because your enjoying another erogenous zone does not a gay make.  we as humans have such an amazing desire for feel good endorphine rushes.  what ever that may be does not always dictate straight or gay.  enjoy your body and your lover's.  and as the old school song says, if you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with.  we have different degrees for murder but not for love.  well except luv or heart loves.  by the way i met a straight guy when i was 18 who was a construction manly man and he was curious what a woman feels when he busts guts so he put a broom stick not the whole thing mind you up his "l'onion".  explore kids but don;t damage or abuse.
32388
Its normal.... Most guys want this.... I have tried it and have enjoyed it. You should pick somone you are comfortable with. I am straight also but have had a 3sum twice both with 2 of my best friends. Its just exploration and should be fun. It doesnt mean he isnt dedicated to you he is just curious. and its good he came to you about it and explained his fantasy. Just try and find someone you can both agree on that you dont find threatening. Ask him if he has any ideas but make sure you stay in control ;) its better that way
91475
I would keep watching even if he knew it...depends on what he's doing...is he just changing, showering, or is he actually touching himself.  I like to watch men having sex with women, pornos are fine but I would love to watch it in person...
606366
Some gay guys can have sex with women and still be gay. There's no 'turning' either way. You are or you aren't or you're Bisexual. He may be confused, he may be bi, or he may be having a spell where he think's he's going to hell or something. I'm the gay guy magnet, I know, I'm the ultimate f@g-hag and I've seen just about every case. lol Maybe you should ask him if he could ever see himself spending the rest of his life with a woman. If he says yes, he's bi. If he says no then he's probably just a horny jerk. Guys are jerks sometimes, gay, straight, bi, or sluts. lol
519262
Sorry to say this but if your husband is having sex with other men he is either gay or bi and he will probably do it again.  I would be furious because he lied from the very start.  A heterosexual man is not going to sleep with another man so therefore he is gay.
596799
you've been friends for more than 8 yrs. If he's gay he would have sex with you already!! Sometimes there's a fine line being good friend and being in a relationship. Perhaps he doesn't even know how to express his friendship towards you. He wants to be grateful to you yet do not want to mislead you into thinking he wanted a relationship cause he is not gay. We are brought up with heterosexual mentality and define male as musculine and female as feminine. It confuse the heck out of straight guys how to handle their frienship with their gay men's friend. Especially those who have close frienship. I believe some of them do cross the line of sex. Which would make the situation worse. He is appreciative of your frienship and I bet he knows you are into him. In his mind he's probably thinking should he sleep with you to show his appreciation and betray his own sexuality? As for you I would not be so quick to invest that much emotion into that direction. Yes, I know it's very difficult and very tempting. Ultimately you have to protect yourself from heartbreak and more important to preserve your friendship with him. One of this days he's gonna fall hard for a girl and you gonna need to tear yourself off him emotionally.
119733
Thats cool that you two are talking about it.\n\nFirst, before you get into picking the lucky person you will ask to share your bed you two must be positive you are ok with this.  You also may need to talk about limits.  For instance, my wife does not care what another woman does to me but I am not allowed to let my mouth go near the special area on the girl with us.\n\nThe choice between another man or woman is up to you two.  Is your husband ok with another guy?  If yes, thats great.  The next question he would have to answer is does he want to do anything with the other guy.  If it is another woman same questions go to you.  Only you two can answer these types of questions.\n\nI have been in both types of bedroom play.  With two guys is myself and my best bud and his girlfriend.  A bit of alchol helped get this going but he and I did not touch.  We tried to always keep his girlfriend in between us.  (OK, slightly homophobic but I can admit it and deal with it.) I have also been with some very adventerous women and sometimes they would play with each other and other times act like my buddy and I and attempt to keep an invisible wall between themselves.\n\nWhatever you two decide, enjoy and good luck.
3863
Hello Myca. I couldn't help but pick out your question, for obvious reasons of course. Let me go straight into it. The quick answer is NO! (Not with a friend first!) YES! If you think the relationship can handle it with someone that ya'll can meet and get to know for that purpose. OK?? If you would like to know why then read the following.......\n First of all I commend you for stating that you don't desire a man in this, (I'll comment on that later). Second, you’re lucky to have a man that hasn't shoved the thought of this down your throat since you both met (even better since this incident). Anyway, "Is it a good idea..?" you ask. Well in this case it's one of those grey areas we all see every now and then. From experience and dealing in "The Lifestyle", as they say, I recommend that you and your husband start with an unknown. The reason for this is simply because should you both decide to go through with this if it turns awkward or it just wasn't good or it was!! See that way you hurt no one and you both get to figure if it's something ya'll would like to consider doing again. Now let me say this, please understand that men and women are totally built different mentally and emotionally. I'm not trying to drag this out or be your counselor but these are thing people should take into consideration before doing things that may destroy something that's perfect already. So make sure that you both have a very, very open discussion about the possibilities of (Jealousy, How you both feel before and after the act, Jealousy!, Can one of you stop if other is uncomfortable?, JEALOUSY!! and disease). I'll take it that you both are very wise and know your partner and your friend. So if you trust and KNOW them well enough to not warrant any foreseeable problems, then HEY! ENJOY!! But remember, the beginning is always Bliss, but look further down the road!!
673855
Hello Prissy, it sounds like the two of you are world's apart on your desire. You do love him though and he loves you.\nCan you talk to each other and reach some sort of compromise?\nI take it that he is good about pleasuring you or does he?\nThat could be a part of it also. I would suggest that you two sit down somewhere comfortable and have a honest and open talk about this. I wanted sex more than my wife did for many years.\nOne of the things we have done is one night each week,  I give her a complete body rub using oil or cream. After this she is so relaxed that she is ready for anything, including me!\nIt's not 3 times a day but he is going to have to lower his expectations a bit here and find ways to get you interested too!\nJust talk, stay positive and know that you love each other.\nGood luck!
76747
If he's really big on the idea of no sex before marriage, perhaps he feels the temptation is too big if he starts petting.  Maybe he thinks that if he engages in that sort of behavior, he is "sinning" already, intercourse or not.  And I must admit, it's not too far fetched to suggest he might be gay---Even deeply religious young couples tend to make out and express their feelings physically, whether or not they "go all the way."
277970
OK...all the answers have a good point....but here is another side of the coin...First off, Did he say you needed to be with the other girl.????\nI have been in a couple of threesomes myself and the ladies where both straight...Now another point....think about maybe having a threesome with him and another man..both guys for your pleasure...See what he says about that....If you go to him with this idea.....Hey you want to have a threesome...OK....you and I and another man....If he is really a player or a swinger he will say OK..or he will forget about the whole thing.\n\nNow on the issue of needing sex....I am 41 years old...I grave sex all the time..I can never get enough sex...Is it a medical problem......HELL NO....It is a guy problem.Tell me of any guy that does not think of sex all the time..I will show you a gay man...\n\nThe issue of not being able to leave him bothers me...Why you say.????\nWe all have the right as being american to choose our paths in life...If his path is not going in the direction of your path..then hun it is time to cut bait...\nI am not sure of your age or your lifestyle.....I just wish more people would think of themselfs in times like this and make a move to better them selfs.it is not like it would involve anything other then your future.....Think about it....\nIf you would like to chat about the swing lifestyle feel free to e-mail me at tanear1964@yahoo.com..I have been a swinger for 18 years....I may be able to give you a little more insite into the world....I hope this helps....