My son is 7 and getting ready to enter a residential treatment facility for a year or so. He has Rapid Cycling Bipolar and he is very out of control. He sets fires, bites me, spits on me and screams at me all of the time. I know he has to go to the facility to get help, but I am feeling so much guilt that I can not help my own child. How do I stop crying about this?
205205
My mother was bipolar and had to take Lithium all of her life.  This was something that she was born with and finally when she was in her early thirties she was diagnosed and received treatment.  She suffered a lot in her life, but once she got medication and therapy to understand her mental illness, she was more able to cope and be happier in her life.  It was 1972 when she started Lithium.  Today doctors know so much more about this illnes which stems from having a chemical inbalance.  I think it is a good thing that your son has been diagnosed now instead of years form now.  He will be in treatment and he will be helped.  Early intervention is on his side.  Be thankful that he is getting help now and hopefully will be avoiding years of unbearable pain.  Before my mother was diagnosed she tried multiple ties to commit suicide.  I am hopeful that your son won't go through that because he is getting help now!  He will learn with the help of therapy and faithfully taking his medications how to cope with this.  As far as you feeling guilty, this is a normal reaction considering he is your son, your flesh and blood.  But, the truth of the matter is that you are not to blame.  He was born with this.  It has to do with the makeup of the brain. You are being supportive and doing the right thing to let the professionals take over at this point.  Remember, you got him the help that he needs.  You love him and you'll be there for him.  I hope this helps you.  Hang in there, you sound like a good mom!
577773
I am a single mother of 3. Ex-husband dead. Problem child of 14 with bipolar. Tell me how you would solve all my troubles. I hate people who think they can fix e verything and have probably never been through anything serious in thier life. My husband abused me, my son continued in his footsteps and has been in the hospital since Jan(bipolar,ODD,ADHD)> Can you solve that??????????????????????????
262212
Bipolar disorder is _not_ known as maniac disorder, but rather manic depression.\n\nIf he has had problems with overactivity and depression both since the age of 5, it may be that he doesn't have bipolar but rather a combiniation of something like ADHD and depression. Such an early onset is very rare for both depression and bipolar however.\n\nIf he does have bipolar disorder, lithium is probably his best option. Therapies such as CBT can help to an extent, but treating the mania aspect particularly can be difficult.\n\nIf he has depressive disorder, a combination treatment of drugs and cognitive behaviour therapy is likely to work best, based on what studies have found in many, many people suffering from depression. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and tetracyclics are the best/most modern/least side effects.\nLithium isn't very good as far as side effects go. However, it is the best drug treatment out there for bipolar, acting as quite an effective mood stabliser. It does have some nasty side effects however - but it's not too badly tolerated on the whole and is probably better than being manic depressive!\n\nIf he is just depressive, antidepressants these days are very good. I don't know of any long-term problems that persist with taking them and although if you stop taking them, you may go through mild withdrawal, they are not addictive. \nI have a degree in psychology and also suffer from depression myself. At the moment, I am taking a small dose of mirtazapene and have suffered very few side effects from it, which were well tolerated and disappeared within a couple of weeks of taking it.\n\nDon't be scared of taking psychotrophic medication! If it fixes or helps the problem, it's really no different to taking pain killers for a headache or putting a caste on a broken leg. \nDon't worry about the fact that it affects brain chemistry - if your son has depression problems, it will only help to correct them. It won't change who he is at the core but it will help him to better tolerate life.\n\nDepending on his age, it may not be a good idea to put him on antidepressants for a few reasons that you should talk over with your doctor - I suggest seeing a psychiatrist. Don't trust a GP to tell you everything you need to know. You should see a specialist, especially if you don't have the training to know what to do yourself. See a psychiatrist to talk about medication options and a psychologist to talk about behavioural interventions. Behavioural therapy has been showed to be as effective as medication and longer lasting, but better than either therapy or medication on their own is a combination treatment, especially at first!\nAntidepressants can give someone the energy/motivation to work on their therapy. This is an important consideration, especially if your son is sleeping all the time.\n\nYou could also consider bright light therapy - if nothing else, try to get him outdoors for a while in the mornings.\nExercise can also be of benefit. You'll probably have to drag him out, kicking, screaming and crying but if he can get some light to moderate exercise in the sun, it may help his mood a little.
521167
Honey, he is classic bi-polar.  They think they are "ok" and stop the meds cause they "don't need them".  It will never change.  It will always be the same for you, sad to say.  But be encouraged, because it's not your fault.  None of it.  If he gets out of line again, have his ass comitted.  Put him in lock down or something or get out of the relationship.  I know how you feel (personal experience) and you will always be the blame for everything.  Bi-polars have no empathy for anyone and it's all about "them".  If you don't have children, leave.  If you do, it's just a matter of time before you do leave.  Godloveya and prayers for your strength.
451682
Your son is screaming silently for help.  Hopefully the hospital admits him into a treatment program.  However, your son needs to help himself.  This will only happen when he is ready to accept help.  I am going through something similar to this with my own daughter. \n      Good luck to you and your son.
212273
I have a son with ADD/ADHD.  Sometimes it is tough but you always love your child.  Honestly, I see my son for the wonderful kid that he is because he might have ADD/ADHD, it doesn't have him.  He is on the honour roll at school and he is active in his youth group.  Everybody loves him!  As for lax parenting, not a problem, I have a background in Psychology...Personality Profiling so I know how to get him out of his episodes.  I recommend to you to volunteer at a children's shelter or a mental hospital and make your own observations.  You might be suprized what you learn.  It's a real disorder and 96% of our population lives with a mental health disorder.  What mental health disorder are you living with or are you 4% of the population as a product of lax parenting yourself?
587835
You need to talk to your mom and tell her that the problems are back and you want some real help. I know it's tough, but you won't get medical treatment at your age without parental consent. Tell her and get yourself some good help. Yes, it does sound like Bipolar disorder but you should be checked for Aspergers Syndrome as well. Good luck to you.
216100
I have no doubt that you have been trying to instill values of the clean nature in him for a long time. Here he is almost 18 and has yet to adapt. Soooo, I am relatively sure you are asking for help, but not expecting any miracles. You know that you have probably already exhausted every avenue that any one of us might tell you. I have sons also, and when you describe your son its as if you were talking about one of my boys. I have no solution for you,... I just wanted you to know you are not alone in this aspect. There is one thing you can "teach yourself" though that might eliminate some of your frustration about him. Don't take it personnel when he does this! Save your energy. Choose your battles! Keep instilling the lesson of what he needs to know, but don't worry about him not doing it. Try a role change with him on occasions,... when he needs you to do something, tell him "just a minute", or "I will get on that soon", or "I meant to do that, but forgot", ...throw his lines back at him and watch him get frustrated. Its good clean amusement for you, I promise!  My boys, and I am sure your son, too, are 'good' people, and yes, lazy people. But as long as he is staying out of real trouble, you really have no problems compared to some Moms out there. They do grow up, and when you go to their homes in the future, he will make you proud. I know!!! You are me, 14 years ago. Hang in there, its going to be alllllright!
379860
I am going to answer this question because for me this was a moral issue. In fact I was caught in this delimma not to long ago. I have son that was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, and because of this diagnoses, he had extreme anger outburstes and major mood swings. He is actually on an antidepressent. It made a world of difference for the better. So, I think that it depends on the child and the severity of the situation.
347534
i should not say this but this the only way. say your child that he is not your son . then see his mood . he will be cryying. then also dont care about . say to him that if he will say to his friend or any one about it you will leave him in lulu center and come . then after 4 days see his mood he will be in upset that day night you say him that he is your own son . then he will slepp happily .then say him that never be naughty and listen to  her .ok
644647
I had a husband who had bipolar disorder.  It was severe. He got arrested, shoplifted, embezzled from his jobs, was addicted to porn, chatted in porn chat rooms and eventually met up with the women he met on line, screamed, yelled, lied, broke things, slept for days, had obsessive compulsive symptoms, was addicted to Nyquil, alcohol, etc.\n\nAfter doing an intervention and telling him he either needed to get some serious help or I would leave him, he told me no.  So I left him.  He has a new girlfriend now and she has two young children.  I worry for them, but you MUST understand that this is her life's journey and it is no longer your place to save her or HIM for that matter.  Let them be.  You live your life now. I have a child with mine too and the best I can do is love her all I can, help her understand her father's illness and let them have once a week visits, but never overnight.\n\nAll of those things you are describing about her behavior are illness related. It doesn't help that she didn't seem to have a solid spiritual grounding either.\n\nGood luck to you in the future. I hope it helps to at least know others have been through this and come through it ok.
539103
i totally sympathise with you and know how you feel...at the age of 14 i was diagnosed with aneroxia, depression and i sef-harmed (i still have some scars now...3 years later)- i was in denial about all these things but then one day i cracked and realised i needed help....i sat down with my parents and explained EVERYTHING....about what i was doing to my body....how i was feeling inside....and how i came close to taking a overdose.....i was referred to a psychiatrist and was admitted in to a psychiatric hospital for 6 months...im not trying to scare you and tell you thats where your going to end up because mine weren't just about the self-harming but what i will say is that you need to sit down with your parents..tell them not to speak because there is something you need to get of your chest and just get them to listen.....as for you saying that your mum was angry when she saw your cuts...it isnt an anger for example....if you damaged someones property....but an anger that is brought on by being worried, scared, feel like they cant help e.t.c...and probably why you never went to them for help...once your parents get an idea (i wont so understand because no one can ever understand unless they are going through it or has been through it) of what your feeling then get them to take the right steps forward to getting you psychiatric help and counselling....but DONT keep this to yourself.....im not saying its a 2 minute job to fix because even after i came out of hospital after being in there for 6 months i carried on self-harming but i still got to see a cousellor and psychiatrist twice a week.....now 3 years later i no longer self-harm but carry the scars with me.....i wish you much luck
97597
my 2 sons were both born premature, not quite the same. yet i know what it feels like to be totally helpless. it is in no way your fault. buy a punching bag, cry, punch the dirt, talk to a priest. what ever you need to keep your head straight. your son is going to need your attention, after all he is too young to under stand all the attention. he will be stronger if he sees his dad is strong, remember you are his protector. so pay attention to the doctors and do your homework, ie reaserch all you can about this it will make it easier. the doctors cough up all this information and it can be overwhelming. dont get too excited with the doctors, work with them. together this will pass. remember your son needs you, not some guy all red faced screaming at doctors.\nhope everything goes well.
422612
Perhaps your mom is trying to find a place because she wants you to know that she understands.  \n\nI hate to say this, but I did the same when my son came out this summer.  I think I was the last person that knew he was gay.  I am sure it's denial that I've been in; nonetheless, I felt somehow that I needed to show him that I care and understand...and accept him no matter what.  How does one show that when presented with new lifestyle?  I told him that I could attend groups that support gays and was advising him to hang out with other gays so no one picks fun of him.  It may sound ridiculous but its just a mother making sure her child is "safe."  We may accept and understand but we know others do not and we just want to protect ours.\n\nSo you could really sit down with your mother and explain to her that you pretty much know what you want to do but let her know you appreciate her attempts to help you.  You can reassure her that you are not depressed, that you are also not bipolar.  \n\nSometimes when a parent doesn't understand (or accept readily), we think something else is the cause.  Just be frank with her so that she understands that you know what you want in life and that this is it...that she doesn't have to feel she needs to "orchestrate."   My son is 26.  He had to tell me because I didn't think I was doing that.  It's hard not to "mother" so much.  :)
167359
I think you need to have some counseling.  Leave your son alone and seek help for yourself.
300427
I have Bipolar Disorder and Borederline Personality Disorder. You have to be nice and be very supported to our mental health prolbems. It helps my family to take me to talk to somebody like every other week. Just read up on the disorders. And make sure he takes his meds. I once got off mine meds for 4 or 5 days and it made me sick.
634067
ROFL !!!!!!!!!!!sorry but I have raised 3 of those little tigers....... and yes a beating is a natural reaction on your part, but I do not think it would work..... it would prob make it worse......  you have a boy that is turning into a little man right before your eyes...... the hormones , mood swings the talking back are all NORMAL things..... don't let him get to you sister !!! the more you react to it the more act he will put on for you..... they have a job to do, and that job is to drive us crazy or as close to it as they can get....... write down the house rules on a board along with the punishment that goes with each rule if broke.... explain it to him in adult language, that is what he is needing, to be treated as a young adult, remember he is between worlds right now.. so tell him you will treat him as he acts...... he acts like an adult he gets treated as such....... if he acts like a child he gets treated as such...... do NOT argue or yell or show fear or anger.... they are like wild animals at this age....... ROFL, sorry again, but I just had a flash back, and it is NOT from drugs !!! take a deep breath and plane your strategy, and get Dad involved if possible... a united front is what is needed here............ a big hug and a bigger GOD BLESS