My now ex-boyfriend has a personal ad on a swingers site. He had sex pics of me posted with him and was posing as a single male. He has given me several different reasons why he had the ad. One was it is just fantasy and he wasnt going to act on it. Another was he was hoping I would change my mind about it so he continued to look. Help me understand the whole thing....
204346
Girlfriend; there isn't any thing innocent about being a swinger, once you start you don't stop, he lied to you straight off jump street. Swinging can get mighty KINKY.
626940
I read your question and your answers.....no one attacked you. I was expecting to read some evil, vulgar things....but no.  There was one or two in which they were quite blunt with you, but all the others were quite sensitive and informative.\n\nBut, on this thing people are going to be jerks. Even to the most legit questions get a$$hole remarks. \n\nPersonally, I think you should have confirmed the rumor with him, before just dumping him. I mean, you've known the guy for  4 years, so you HAVE to know how is with women......right?\n\n To avoid that happening again is kind of an impossibilty. Because, most people put on such a facade in the beginning of a relationship.
467774
I totally understand how you feel. My ex gave me his computer (not expecting me to accept) and I hooked it up and found out that he and his girlfriend were swingers! There were all kinds of pictures of them doing it.. NASTY! I thought I knew him.\nI brought it up and he acted like it was nothing, just mad that I kept the computer. If I were you, I would want to know if he was sleeping with men when you were married. You don't have to show how shocked you are, ask him.
608285
You were suspicious to begin with, hence you "checked" his email.  Now your suspicions are confirmed.  I would call a marsvenus coach to find out a) what to do and b) how can you regain your trust in this or any man.  You cannot have a healthy relationship where there is no trust.  Time for you to address all your past relationships and childhood wounds to determine why you were suspicious in the first place--was it his behaviour or your problem that drove you to check the email?
320338
He's not interested.  It all was a joke.  He found someone else. He's married.  He used you for sex.  Either one of these answers could apply.  Sorry.  You meant him on the Internet.  That's always a chance.  you took it and now this is the outcome.  Don't mean to sound harsh but, is it really a surprise?
37798
*Noddling for I think so* I personally am in a long term relationship with someone I met one night on yahoo dominos. Heh she decided my nickname was perverted (it was, but that was not why I used it in dominos) and decided to come to my table to tease me and see if she could catch me being a perv.\n\n*Grinning wolfishly* She couldn't and due to the fact I turned her down, she decided she liked me and made sure we stayed in contact. Over the course of time, my reason for saying no was no longer valid and I found myself in love...\n\nAs to finding nice, honest people and where, lol there is no easy answer. They are everywhere, in chats, playing games, even probably here in answers...\n\nThe trick is weeding out the not so good ones, till you find one worthy of your trust...
356225
cheating was wrong. and you were right to make him earn your trust back. But i would not get to bent out of shape about porn. It IS just looking with no personal contact. Besides 90% of men in America look at porn, the Internet is just a new way to get it instead of buying magazines in a store. But if you are really uncomfortable as you sound i would seek couples counseling to see what is going on. It will help more than you know.
483164
It probably means he's secure enough in your relationship to a) bring it up to you, b) he knows you won't leave him for another guy just because you had sex with him, and c) sharing you and seeing you enjoy yourself is a huge turn-on for him.\n\nWill it harm your relationship?  This is a common question.  If your relationship is good right now, no.  If it is rocky, it sure as hell won't help it and will probably make matters worse.  Swinging won't fix a bad relationship, but it sure won't hurt a good one.  Or as a non-swinger friend once observed, "Swinging is like the icing on the cake.  But if the cake underneath doesn't have all the ingredients to make it solid, all the icing in the world won't keep it from crumbling."\n\nThere will be those here that tell you "No! Don't do it! It will ruin your relationship! He'll leave you for someone else! If he really loved you he wouldn't want to share you!"  These are words spoken by those that haven't done it, or did it wrong (like to try to fix a relationship) and the idea absolutely terrifies them because of their own fears and insecurities.  For honest, good information about it visit The Swingers Board (link below).
3748
well first, is there any way you can tell if he's been active on this account or not? maybe he had it on there and forgot about it? just mention to him that you found it and was wondering about it...this might bring questions as to why you were there also, he might think that you were looking on match.com, or don't trust him. neither are what you would want him to think if it's not true. \nso simply ask him about it, if he isn't straight up with you about it, then odds are that he's always keeping another door open. men do this for many reasons, like fear of being hurt, finding something better, or that's just thier lifestyle. i wouldn't put up with it if he says he wants to marry me, because marriage is permanent. if he's talking about something permanent then he needs to be sure about it before he mentions it.
74656
Sounds like he is gay and afraid to come out of the closet, sounds like he is using your sister as a mask, per say, to hide his true sexual orientation. Most non-gay men want sex all the time with women. Most are not virgins at 25. If he was not gay, he would not be "flattered" that gay men are looking at him like that. He would most likely be "disgusted" at it. He could be bi also that is always a possibility.
502809
My mate has just been dumped by her boyfriend of 6 years - cos he said he needs time to himself. Imagine how she feels - you were only with this guy 8 weeks.\n\nJust think people need to put their problems into perspective a little bit. I know you must be feeling cr*p right now -but its not like you dedicated half your life to this guy. And if he wants you to change your opinion on something as big as sex then really he's not the one for you anyway.\n\nps - most men are weird. \n\npps - i was very prudish when it come to sex - but my mind has been opened ...... opened in the very best possible way
647059
I'm not sure why he'd freak out.  Some people are just way more prude than me.  I'm thinking that as long as the kids (if you have any) can't hear it or know what you're doing, why not?  I'd just like to see your friends' pay stubs first to make sure it's not too good to be true.  Sleazy?  I don't actually know that I'd advertise it if that's what I did - but mainly because of the prudes out there, not because I think there's anything wrong with it.\nI have to concur and add that I wouldn't do it secretely either.  But I would ask him to explain and justify exactly why he is so opposed to it.  Then you two can examine if it's feelings or facts he's upset about.
567821
Strangely enough swinging IS becoming more common.  I attribute this to the Internet. Meeting couples prior to the Internet involved swing clubs and or advertising in swing magazines. The success ratio in these traditional ways of meeting couples was pretty slim.  The Internet offers a degree of anonymity where you can discuss, trade pictures, and converse with others who are curious or into this lifestyle. You can ease into it and just as quickly back out unlike placing an ad, or walking into a club. It's not for everyone however. It's been described as a "marriage enhancer, or destroyer." For us it's been an unbelievable marriage enhancer!  We've been together 15 years and married 8. We feel we are solid.  We're now 4 years into this "lifestyle" and there has NEVER once been any feelings of jealousy or insecurity or whatever. We enjoy it for what it is. Pure unadulterated pleasure.
449283
I just wonder what else he's doing that you don't know about.  The internet is insidious.  It's turned a lot of guys into sex addicts.  You need to think long and hard about the kind of relationship you want to have.  If you don't have honesty you don't have much at all.
457232
I think it takes quite some time before you can actually trust someone and give him/her your picture. I know not all, but many people use the Net just as a medium of fun and real friendship is hard to find. After seeing a photo, some guys might start saying 'oh you're so beautiful' and 'I think I'm in love with you' etc etc. Ok, so maybe he's honest, but mostly, I think it just a stupid way of having fun. However, you have a point when you say that everyone is seen on the roads too and it's quite logical to have an image of your friend...need to think about that...
633774
I have seen personal ads where both straight and gay people want to engage in this rape fantasy.\nPersonally, I simply don't understand it.
132761
I would do it right now! I have done it before and found out he started up an account for a dating website. I got on there and changed his preferences to males rather than females!\n\nIf you are curious, go for it but brace your self for what you might find....