As parents, one of the worst things we can discover is that our children are being bullied. But it's important to know that we can do something about it! What can you -- as a parent -- do if you think you're child is being bullied, and what should you tell your child?
211758
girl i have 2 boyz 11&3 and let me tell u i talk to my big son on a regular bout self-love and self-awareness, we talk all the time bout the kids at school, i even left work earlier so i can meet the kids he hang out wit at lunch (thou my boss wasn;'t happy but u no wat my children come first) if he was being bullied i would b up at that school so fast i would want to meet wit the teacher the princapal the parents and let them no i don't take this lightly, but i think the best thing is to try and aviod it from happening, get involed wit school activise from the start let the children in the school no who u r and the chances of ur child gettin bullied is next to none, don't b a chicken bout it thou do wat ever u have to do to mek sure ur child is safe even if that mean calling the police, DON'T TEK IT LIGHTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it will in the long run mess up how ur child feels bout him/herself and that alone will lead them to stray!!!!!!!!!!!!
556652
This is a much more difficult question than the posters are making it out to be.  Sure, it sounds logical to just go to the teacher, the other kids parents, the principal, etc., but the answer is not always this easy.\n\nYou have to realize, if you do this, you are putting your child at a greater risk for continued harassment, additional harassment and possibly even physical retaliation, which is much more likely than parents would like to believe.  The worst thing in the world, especially for a boy, is to be labelled a "nark."  His life will go from bad to worse.  Kids will tease him about it; His classmates won't trust him; Kids will be unwilling to get close to him, etc.  \n\nIt is possible that school officials could just keep a closer eye on it and bust the bully without the bully ever knowing that he had been "ratted" out.  That would be the best case scenario.  \n\nIf you call the bully's parents, 1 of 4 things can happen and 3 of them are not good and the good one is highly unlikely.  You have to realize that, just like you, the bully's parents first reaction is to stick up for their child.\n\n#1 The bully's parents could laugh you off\n#2 The bully's parents could get real defensive and turn against you and your child\n#3 The bully's parents could side with you, tell their kid about the conversation and then the bully would punish your child for your actions\n#4 The bully could get in so much trouble that he straightens out and doesnt tell anyone about it (how likely do you think that is?)\n\nThe worst thing you can do is encourage your child to beat up the bully.  Violence is never the answer.  How effective and realistic is comebacks, avoidance, etc.?  I guess it depends on the situation.  I don't know that it will work though.\n\nWhere is the bullying taking place?  What is the relationship between the kid and the bully?  What does the kid say is happening?  Does the kid give you details?  Details are very important, because there could be a logical solution to the issue.\n\nFinally, the advice you are looking for...older children...say 7th grade and up, (my experience is with the fellas so I come from that angle), are striving to be viewed as adults.  The guys want to take on a mans role; Do the right thing; Help people; PROTECT PEOPLE.  (I realize not all 7th and up guys are like this, but you can use your judgement to find the good ones)  Get a fella that is a little older that you have some sort of relationship with, whether it be a coaches kid, family friend, etc.  Tell him that your son is having an issue and it would be a real help if you could, "look after him, show him the ropes, help him along with the fellas, make sure he gets along alright."  Hopefully, the younger kid looks up to this dude (younger guys usually do, pretty much, no matter what), tell the older kid, "my son really looks up to you.  It would mean alot to him, but (and this is very important) it would mean just as much to me.  You are a good kid.  You are a good role model for him."  This way you are empowering a young man. He will take ownership in the situation.  He will watch out for your kid, and the bully will want nothing to do with an older kid, matter of fact, he will probably think he is down right cool and want to be his friend instead of foe.
404472
At all times keep a third person involved and informed. Keep a running record, like a diary, of time, place, what happened and show Principal each day if you must. Stay safe. Never speak to the creepy guy directly or alone. Do not make eye contact. If Principal does not keep you safe or listen to you, tell your parents or a school counselor or a favorite teacher. They should tell him privately that looks, words, contact is, starting now, illegal and a rule breaker where he is concerned. Do not be bullied and do not, under any circumstances talk to or look at this person. Do not send double messages  like "stay away" but then smiling at him because you feel sorry for him or because you have felt safe for a minute. Send only one message to him via your actions and that is, stay away, you do not exist, I will tell on you everytime, if you can't take "no" for an answer it is because you are not thinking about me but only thinking about yourself and you are glaring at me because I said "no" to you and you think everyone should say yes to you. Normal people can take no for an answer and normal people report abuse every time. Normal people say "no"..."no, leave me alone" etc. Keep being real, keep telling, keep listening to yourself. Tell everyone. They will observe too that he has creepy behavior. Again, never speak to this person. It would be a double message, a mixed message of leave me alone and yet I still talk to you. No. Do not speak to him ever. He will take that little courtesy and think that you like him or that he can control you. Keep being yourself. You know what to do. Tell and stay away from him. Do not be polite. he will use your politeness against you. Do not be flattered by his attention. Something is wrong with him. Stay away.
427633
What you see on the surface isn't always what's really happening behind closed doors.  Everyone has problems, they just might not show it.\n\nStop looking at what others have and start seeing what you've got.  Put your energy and your effort into your child.
94015
Honestly, there's not much you can do. You can try to talk to a guidance counselor or teacher, and that might help. The only thing that worked for me when I was in school was ignoring the crap that was said. There was this one girl who bullied me for years and we would consequently bad-mouth each other. Finally, I just quit saying anything about her and let her talk all the trash she wanted to. Our mutual friends realized after a while that she was the one causing all the drama and so even though she was still talking trash about me, our friends just tuned her out when she would do that. And it made me look like the better person. (which, of course, I am... ;) )
48321
if you feel someone is after you, or gonna hurt you, GET HELP!!! Inform EVERYONE YOU KNOW that you feel you may be in danger. You should not go anywhere alone!!! Don't become a victim. I am a mom with 2 kids and a family, I care about you!! Write to me at: javagirl09@excite.com I want to help!!
654493
If you are in a situation where you are dealing with protective services you may need to make changes in your behavior as a parent.  I recommend reading any literature on early childhood development and seek counseling from a professional psychologist.  That being said you need to be careful as they may take your child away.  You should seek legal council if you are facing charges, as soon as possible.
644804
I am an Aspie with two children with Asperger's.  I have to agree that there are a lot of children running around with very negative social skills.  I think that one of the big differences is that children with Asperger's are taught where NT children learn from the environment.  If the parents, teachers, other figures in the child's life are disrespectful then they will pick up on that.  Where I live children are dumped outside for the summer and do not go home until ten to twelve at night.  These children pick up on all the negative behaviors and have no structure or good role models.  My children are not allowed outside unsupervised.  If my children hit, hurt, or aggravate another child I am there to teach him it is wrong.  There is no one there to teach the child who usually started the situation.
150695
That's a tough situation.  I had a bully in 7th grade.  Ultimately, and it will be the hardest thing to do, but you have to tell an adult.  Someone that will listen.  A parent, or a teacher.  Someone that can watch your back and put the bully in his place.  I know it sounds like tattling or ratting on this person... but think about the news stories.  There's violence out there and you just can't keep quiet about it.
190860
Of course your child should come first! You cannot always let a child make the decisions eg: should we have biscuits or ham for dinner?? :)\n\nIn a case where bullying, harrassment etc is involved the childs basic right to be treated fairly is paramount. Ideally, I fell it should be the child carrying out the bullying who should have to go through the upset of the move but if there is no other option then I back your opinion on moving. \n\nIt is hard enough for a child to put up with bullying in school but if he feels that his pleas for help to his parents are falling on deaf ears it will really drive him to the edge. I would recommend that you all sit down and try to explain the situation to the father. You should also have a serious chat with your child. If he is going to the extremes of trying to slit his wrists you really need to act fast.\n\nMight I suggest also bringing this to the principal of the school in question. Surely they should be able to do something more. Explain the devistating resluts that the torture is having on your boy and get them to act. If needs be threaten them with legal action if you dont see them making an effort to stamp out this behaviour.\n\nGive your boy a cuddle from me. I was bullied when I was at school and sometimes it can be very hard to get over.
110431
Um...from what I could understand, I'm just going to give you the advise I would use.  If your child is having trouble, consider either changing schools, homeschooling your child, talking to the parents (no matter what difficulty there may be) and the kids themselves as well.  Step in and be authoritve about this.  This time in life is part of the time that shapes your child so keep her as safe as possible and talk her through what's happening.  Those kids need to be stopped, and you need to do as much as you can not only for yourself, but for your child and the help you give and example you set.  \n\nIf you really can't do anything though, change schools as soon as possible.
334795
Tell another adult that you trust.  Parents and teachers are great listeners.  This is something that you don't want to let happen any more.  Tell someone and if they don't listen tell someone else.
602777
Be open and honest it is better to talk with them and for them to know what's going on.  Parents may be disappointed YES, but that doesn't mean that they are going to stop loving you.  It's like I'm trying to teach my kids, I may not always like everything you tell me, in fact somethings I might even get upset over, but that has NO impact on just how much I LOVE YOU!  It's hard to believe but most times when we get upset over something it's because we've been there and done that, we know the mistakes you are making and how painful the pitfalls can be, and we hope to prevent you from making some of the same ones. But you also have to grow and learn and even though we would like to lock you up and never let you out you have to learn to make wise choices and that doesn't happen with out screwing up occasionaly.  We also like to think that our little girls are never going to grow up. It's tough for us to see you making grown up choices. Honestly though, parents know more than their kids think, and sometimes it's easier to turn a blind eye.  It's killer to think of your kids doing those things, one day you will understand.  I have eaten my words of "I'll never be like you when I'm a mom" "I'll be understanding"  Yeah right, as a teen you can't  fully understand parents because that's God's gift to us. We on the other hand have the experence and knowledge of our youth, and the smarts from learning from our screw-ups.  and you can learn alot from sitting down and just talking about this with your parents.  It can also bring you closer.  Parents like it when their kids do take the time to confide and trust in them.  Just tell them that you want to sit down and talk. Decide on a time, make an invitation and give it to them, saying the date and time.  Then plan out how you want to tell them. You could always write a poem and stick it in the poem.  Or you could write it in your journal and leave it out in a open place for them to read.  Of coarse I'm sure they already know where you keep it and could already be informed and are just waiting for you to come out with it.  Just remember that know matter how upset they may seem at first, they really do LOVE YOU!!!! I guarantee it. \nAnytime you want to talk feel free.........Your parents are not the enemy!  Learn to trust in their love for you. In closing I really hope that this isn't my daughters friend Becca, I might just have to whop you myself when you get back. So much for the pleasantries sounded nice though lol...........but really it is true. Just alittle humor there, who knows maybe my daughter put you up to the question. OH that would be really bad!!!!! OK, don't let my thoughts get the better of me.  It's tough being a parent, and really we don't get paid nearly enough. Take care and stick with the game of softball and those bases, it's much safer.
69236
Tell your parents.  No one deserves to be hurt like that.  Your parents will most likely talk to his parents.  And if his parents are little stupid babies about it, then they are probably the cause of their son's behavior.  Now, see, if this was a girl bothering you, it would probably be because she would like you.  But in this case, the bully is a rich snob that don't now squat that's a boy.  Ask him why the heck he does this to you, and I just bet he'll say " Cuz it's fun."  If he says that, tell him it's not for you and that you're seriously bothered.  He most likely won't listen, so tell people that will listen.  Weather it's the school counselor, or your parents, just anyone who will take charge of the situation.  The best of luck to ya!
504938
Talk with the principal immediately. It is completely ridiculous that your child should be left to suffer for the sake of the lowest common denominator. Fight on behalf of your child.
661829
Oh my goodness!  I can't believe parents still haven't taught their kids not to bully others.  Has everyone forgotten Columbine?  Anyway, John shouldn't have to put up with all that crap.  He has done everything in his power, without resorting to violence, to stop those idiots.  Now I think he has to fight back.  If the teacher, parents and other adults in his school know about this, and are powerless (obviously!) to stop it, then he needs to protect himself.  He needs to prove to them that he can also give, not just receive.  I feel awkward advising this, but it worked for me in the 2nd grade, so hopefully it'll work for him.
525642
I'm not judging you or son, but I think you should let the Head conduct an investigation first.  Are we seeing the bigger picture here?  Could there be more to it?  I.E Is your son doing his homework or struggling in any way?  Does your son have any other peoblems such as relationship, friends, bullying, acne, football showers?  Is your son frustrated with the teacher.  Just gain as much information as possible first.  Is your son definitely 100% giving you the full story.  I hope everything ok would love to know the outcome of this one.