we don't have anything to do with each other romantically, and since i've learned what kind of people him and his family are, i don't even let my daughter go around him. i don't ask him for anything for her, and he sure doesn't offer. i've had him arrested twice for domestic violence. i got a restrainig order, but he saw me with a guy friend yeterday and he got jealous. he has a girlfriend he's gonna marry next year. i don't understand his jealousy.
216666
sounds like this guy's bad news from what you've said sounds like your doing the right thing, I'd say he's jealous, he's probably thinking if he cant have you no body else can. good luck & keep up the good work as i wouldnt have any thing to do with this guy eather
83815
He is just jealous and as a father he has the right to make sure his daughter is in a safe place. As long as you aren't being harrased or thrown in jail,just keep letting them see how great the home is that you are providing for the child.Eventually they will stop because they will see their is no risk there.
504926
I suggest that the three of you arrange some time for the three of you to sit down and talk. Explain to your daughter that you are happy with this man and that you want to continue having a relationship with him. Tell her how much the both of them mean to you and that he is not your ex-husband and would never dream of hurting either your or her verbally or physically. Ask her why she disapproves of him. Ask him how her disapproval makes him. Tell her how much her disapproval hurts. And, than ask her if she would sit aside her differences and give him a chance for just a little while. Make sure that everyone gives their input on the matter.
609337
Why are you trying to hold onto this controlling, abusive man in any way? The greatest graduation gift you can give your daughter is to get this man out of your life. You are paying because you have allowed yourself to be dependent on a person who was not good for you or your kids. Move on, take responsibility for supporting yourself and your kids. Your daughter does not need any presents from your ex-boyfriend. She needs a mother who will put her first.
237421
First of all my dear friend, you are too young for this man. I hope to God you have not had sex with this man for this is truly a case of statutory rape. Second, you have way too much life to live to be dragged into the middle of this drama...and believe me, the drama has only just begun. You will never have any peace with this man and his ex (especially since you have indicated that he already talked about going back, then you say, he wants nothing to do with her only for the baby -doesn't sound like a firm foundation to me) You need to run, run, run as far away from this situation as you can - you don't want to be the next one with child.
552382
I HAD A SIMILAR SITUATION WITH MY STEP DAUGHTERS. MY 17 YEAR OLD WAS BEING HARASSED BY A 14 YEAR OLD. THE 14 YEAR OLD WAS NON-STOP SHE EVEN THREATENED TO HAVE ME KILLED. WELL AT THAT POINT I HAD TO TAKE MATTERS IN MY OWN HANDS BECAUSE THE POLICE AND HER PARENTS WERE OF NO HELP THEY SAID THE GIRL WAS A MINOR AND MY DAUGHTER IS CONSIDERED AN ADULT. SO ONE SATURDAY NIGHT I WAITED FOR THE GIRLS FATHER AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HIM. HE DIDN'T KNOW WHY HE WAS GETTING POUNDED BUT I TOLD HIM THAT HIS DAUGHTER WILL HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT TO HIM. THE LAST THING I TOLD HIM WAS THAT THE NEXT TIME HIS LITTLE GIRL THREATENS TO HURT SOME ONE SHE BETTER MEAN IT. AT THAT POINT I WAS READY TO GET LOCKED UP. BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THE GUY NEVER CALLED THE POLICE. THE LITTLE CRAP IS NOW TERRIFIED OF ME AND MY GIRLS. SOME PEOPLE UNDERSTAND NOTHING BUT VIOLENCE. \nYOU'RE IN A TOUGH SITUATION GOOD LUCK. NOW THAT THE POLICE ARE INVOLVED YOU BETTER KEEP IT LEGAL. THE BEST THING TO DO IS TO DOCUMENT ALL THAT HAPPENS AND PRESS CHARGES ON THE GIRL WHENEVER SHE DOES SOMETHING STUPID. IF IT GETS OUT OF HAND HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER WHIP HER. SOME PEOPLE UNDERSTAND NOTHING ELSE.
52177
been there .done that.your ex has a major problem in that he truly thinks he's all that and he WANTS girls fighting over him.it makes his pin head bigger sothe next time he comes on to you you grab him by the throat and tell him that you are NOT going to play his game.if he wants to be with you he's gonna have to ditch your friend and prove to you he's done so before you'll have anything to do with him.THEN GO TELL YOUR FRIEND what's been going on so she can keep an eye on him.let her know that you're not trying to start problems but she needs to be made aware and tell her you think he's doing it just to have you two fighting over him.She probably will get mad at you they always do.But here's what I did when my ex started playing that game.His girlfriend kept calling and threatening me so i finally got tired of it and told her he was chasing me and if she did'nt believe that i could and would prove it to her.the next time he came by my place banging on the door begging to talk to me,i called her,made sure she answered and told her to listen an then i let him in.we had a nice chat with him telling me how he did'nt want to be with her,how stupid she was and evan how bad she was in bed.he told me how no-one could make him feel like i did and he missed me and loved me and would do absolutely ANYTHING to prove it.So i picked up the phone and told him to tell her it was over and he balked.when i told him to take the phone it was for him he literally turned white.she heard every word he'd said and he knew it.after another month of her chasing him everywhere begging for his attention we did get back together for a short time before someone else turned his head and he tried playing the same game.i sent him on his way with my blessing and told him i was better off without him.i refused to play.his new woman stole his paychecks and spent all his money on drugs and alcohol that HER other boyfriends helped her consume.when he tried to force her to work on being with just him she cut up all his clothes,destroyed his furniture and trashed their apartment and he had to pay the damages,and when he came crawling to me for comfort i laughed at him.it took a long time but there was a happy ending for us we've been together the last 10 yrs and i can't get the man to so much as go out for a beer without me.It's called TOUGH LOVE honey.If you're gonna be with an asshole you have to learn to be a bigger and better asshole than he is.DO NOT LET HIM FORCE YOU TO STOOP TO HIS LEVEL.no matter what!!!!!don't get mad in front of another woman he's with ever.act like it don't bother you they're hanging all over one another.if a comment is made to you by either of them ignore it or tell the offender that they deserve each other because theiy'reboth beneath you and go on your merry way.it'll make them both nuts!try if you can to never be anywhere they are by yourself because you'll need witnesses when he tries to pull you into a dark corner to talk.and i promise you that he will but you just have to tell him firmly that you have no time to talk to a man who has a woman waiting for him and he'd best be getting back to her side.hopefully,you'll find yourself a great guy who'll make you want to forget this one while you're playing "who gives a s***.Always keep your dignity.that's one of the few things that NO-ONE can take unless you give it.if you get mad in front of him or her he'll think you want to be his door-mat.good luck.
626822
stay away from him for you and your daughters sake he sounds like a loser your only asking for trouble. Besides even if he became the nicest guy overnite by a miracle what kind of father has he been 2 yrs out of jail i think she would resent him being forced into her life just so YOU could get over your loneliness ? investigate your heart why you would even consider taking him back i'm sure you'll find it's a selfish reason besides thats how the devil tempts us when were weak to hungry too tired ect if your hungry enough you'll eat poison and think it tastes good becareful pray but most importantly stay away from him don't give a devil a foothold into your life if not for you do it for your daughter don't ruin your relationship with her boyfriends come and go but only one daughter remember that! Godbless
215735
Are you sure you want to put yourself in that situation. It doesn't really sound like a start to a healthy relationship.  Why is he in jail? Does the reason he is in there bother you at all?
662656
Sounds like he deserves the punishment and this would alert other unsuspecting women, but would his anger and cruelty excalate towards you?  Also, search your heart before you have him arrested, if you are not going to follow through on the charges, it is not a good idea to have him arrested and maybe a restraining order would do the trick.  Although some women at the resource centers may have a biased view, they have understanding and experience.  You have been through enough and do not deserve a harder time, but must explore the ramifications of each option.  Try going to the police station or call a womens' resource center to talk to someone experienced about the whole process before making a decision.  However, don't put off your decision too long as this could be the worst thing for you.
55851
If you do not have custody of your daughter, you need to do so.  I think it's great that he wants to see her.  It's very sad when a child has a father, and he wants nothing to do with her.  My son was one of those children.  His father would promise him that he would come to pick him up, but he never did.  It broke my heart to see this little guy waiting & waiting until he fell asleep, all the time telling me that his dad promised he'd come so he would.  Of course he never did.  His father never wanted anything to do with him.   Now he wants nothing to do with his dad.  That's understandable.  Think of your daughter and her feelings. If he is a good father, by all means let her spend time with him.  As long as you have custody he must pay you child support. Be happy for her that her father wants to see her.
388978
Most people don't understand the situation, but I do. I also took my son and left in the middle of the night. I felt like I didn't have a choice. The thing is that I knew until we had filed for divorce that we had equal rights to the child. And I also knew I could take him anywhere I wanted to as long as I notified her as to his whereabouts. The restraining order is just to give him some leverage in court to say that you are a danger to the child, and to keep you from coming to where he is and taking the child because you  have equal rights to the child. My situation had a lot more involved than I want to talk about. Just because you can't live together doesn't have to mean that either one of you are bad people. As far as him taking the child, at least he loves his child enough to try to keep it knowing that you are not going to be together. I can't tell you that you will ever get it off your mind. If you just sit back and think about the situation and do the best you can, with the child's best interest in mind, it will be of some comfort to you. Just make sure not to do anything that will emotionally scar the child, or permanently damage your relationship with the child.
221674
You are going to have to set some rules. He is going to be in your life, on a limited basis, for years to come because of the children, but you need to set a few things straight. One, he MUST pay child support. Two. When it's his visitation, he picks the children up, and brings them back. Don't let him run over you on this. Stand your ground! He can pay a visit to the jail house.....then he WILL obey the rules. Good Luck!!
309806
Yes, of course your right...Umm since when does a snooty nosed 15 year old girl get off giving adults orders, especially to you whom she has absolutly no connection with. And because she is only a minor, there is no court on this planet that would even consider giving her any custody rights whatsoever as she has no connection with you or your child. Hell, your ex is also in the sh#t for mandatory rape, if he's going out with this girl and doing the business with her. If I were you, I would move away from all of them to give you at least a mental rest, they all sound like hicks and do you really want your child growing up around people like that. If she continues to do this, I think you need to ring the police yourself and tell them about the situation between this girl and your ex, or ring up a mental health team to come out and get her, she sounds pretty bonkers.
633011
That is just inviting problems, deception and breaking trust in your family unit. He has some serious issues and needs some counselling. I would never accept it. No wonder he isn't getting any love from his family, they don't trust or respect him.
302036
im soo sorry to hear that. im kinda in the same boat here but im not married and hes never put his hands on me or he knows he will get it back twice as much. but he says really nasty things to me and i no i cant take it ne more and i have a 6 month old son with him as well and i wanna leave to i understand its hard cuz i cant get myself up and get my stuff packed either i no how u feel i dont wanna take my son away from his father but i no in my heart what needs to b done but its hard to do it but ill let u no one thing if he HITS U THAN hunnie u need to leave right away if ure afraid of him find a place and do things slowly soo he doesnt find out what is goin on than when hes at work u can finally leave but call the police to have extra help. if u need sumone to talk to u can message me ne time and i can help u
135061
I'm not intimidated by my ex's new gf bc he used to beat me and was very verbally abusive to me too. Plus she's still a minor and he's 24. So if he goes to jail for it, it won't be my problem.