To me, he is being treated disrespectfully and unfairly. He works 12 hours shift at nights, and when he gets off in the morning or on his off days, that is when his watch commander or anyone in the command seem to always want to call him in or just call him for one thing or the next. Tonight, on his day off, the watch commander just brought him a chit that has been a month overdue to sign. He is now upset with me, because I wouldn't shut up about it. I know I should, because he is already stressed for this and other reasons, but I just feel he should be more assertive, explain that the calls, etc can be a bit excessive or inappropriate. I understand about rank, he is an E4. Help me so I can be a help to him, by being moe positive when he is at home. Thanks
217268
Well in my opinion he already knows that his commander is a d*ck, but nothing worth doing is easy. I would want my wife to support me, not let me know how crappy my position is. I know that already. Give him something to look forward to and cherish the time you do get with him. Many other women have bigger problems than "my husband works to much." You have your whole life ahead of you two to spend time together, let him get ahead in life now so that you can grow old, happy and rich together.  Support him he sounds like a good one.
425185
i read your other one...yeah people get a little too petty don't they. i could of understood their wanting to correct you if it were off weeks or months but really one day?! i did a websearch and must have found the same site you did its says 230t....so it was an honest mistake. its obvious you were trying to do something nice but this world is full of people who want to destroy that. try not to let the a'holes get to you and HAPPY '230' BIRTHDAY TO THE MARINES TODAY !  : )
356599
Girl, ur not alone on that boat! my man works 20 hours per day. I am serious, no weekends no dinner parties, except when we have to go visit his parents. He works even when he sleeps. He, like been dreaming about some new contracts and a trip to Zurich....one night he said: "please Mr. Gray, you can see our new presentation. It will be send to you frist thing tomorrow morning!" He was writing this thing for weeks......o gosh, I love to have some more time with my man but he works sooo much. You know what is the worst with us. He says he does this for US, so that in a few years I can stay at home taking care of our kids adn having a blue Martini by the pool. Good luck sista, you need to get in a language school, cooking class, yoga and a few more tings to keep yourself occupied. Or if he can afford it just get his visa card and go to shopping!!!!
242979
Right now he is a kid with a sense of "entitlement".\n\nAnd unfortunately we as parents (or grandparents) enstill this behavior in our kids at an early age.\n\nIn our family, the grandma's did it.  \n\nHe is 18, well old enough to work.  So stick to your guns and don't give in NO MATTER WHAT!
511185
First chill out, dont start biting his head off just for not cleaning up or being a little late.  GENTLY ask him or talk to him about whats been going on in his life lately or how his days have been, could be work related, could be not feeling well, we all can't have days where we're up and about getting everything we want, done and on time............so just talk to him, its no reason to start giving him the cold shoulder unless he's out partying or "elsewhere" and coming home late.  He shouldn't be mad if you're just asking curiously about why his actions have been changing and he's not cleaning up, etc etc.  You should be just fine.  Good luck.  :)
375462
When someone leaves on a deployment it's like you hit a brick wall.  They keep moving forward and you can't go along for the ride.  You have no idea what he's dealing with, and you can't relate when he tells you about his day.  You just have to listen, but chances are you won't understand.  You'll be worried sick while he's gone and stupid things will make you break down in tears.  Don't kid yourself.  Being over there and knowing your job is a lot different than being the one that sits at home waiting by the phone...Hoping that the conversation with him you had the other day wasn't indeed the last one you'll ever have with him.
583127
You have a right to be mad but you also have to understand he has a job to do and him doing this could be good for his future within the job!!! It could lead to a promotin!!! Meaning more $!!!!!!Being mad doesn't accomplish anything but more arguments!!! But in all honsty, I'd be mad too and curious as to why he hasn't wanted to be home. Just try to have a positive outlook on it, that's what I would do so that is my advice!
134877
My advice is for you all to get together with your co-worker and hash this problem out. Ask your boss if you can take time off from work to have a meeting about this or sacrifice your lunch hour for it.\n\nIn my opinion, there is more going on here than you are aware of. This behaviour is typical of people who are using mephetamines, for example. Her boyfriend is either not taking his prescribed medications, or is using other types of drugs. You are very right to be concerned and my first thoughts here are three things: a. Get her out of your office (is there any stress leave available?) or b. Get him out of her life (and yours), or c. Get her out of his life. Set her up with a transistion house that helps women who are victims of spousal violence. Many of them offer help up to and including getting the woman out of state to protect her from a violent partner.\n\nOther possibilities include her talking to his parents or other family members to find out if he has a history of this sort of behaviour? Perhaps they could help her get him into a treatment program of some kind. Drug rehabilitation programs spring to mind here.\n\nYou can also contact your local police office and explain the problem. They can find out for you whether he has a history of prior convictions for violent acts. If he does and you inform your co-worker, it may be an eye-opener for her. If she decides to leave him, you could all kick in some money to help her get away. She won't be able to continue at the office because he can always find her there no matter where she lives. The police may also be able to offer more advice as to what all of you can do about this situation.\n\nIf you can't do any of this things, set up a safety drill for yourselves. Make sure you all know what to do if he turns up at your workplace in order to get out of there safely and contact help. Be on the alert for him at all times. You must take this very seriously. People who get in the way can wind up dead when someone like this goes on a rampage. He might very well decide to take a few people with him before he commits suicide.
652226
Sounds like he needs a reality check. If you let him treat you bad it is your fault. There may be problems with work but if that is not the reason then he is trying another saddle.  Most of the time guys let the stress of the job mess up their home life but the wives should find out what the problem is. If mine did that I'd tack his ass to the wall and find out whats up.
589460
Ew...I think he's just a big cheese. Who really says things like that without underlying meanings? He's probably just trying to get laid. And I agree with the lady who posted first, I am kind of offended that that is how he described the work we do. My marriage is more like a  partnership where we share all of the responsibilities whether it be child-rearing, house-cleaning, or working. I don't like being described as someone whp has the dinner on the table by five o'clock and has the kids bathed so my husband doesn't have to do a thing to help. That's just ridiculous.
102068
Okay... you've got a lot of good advice there. But let me tell you what the hardest thing to deal with when deployed and you send all your letters and good things from home. Believe it or not, open ended letters. Those are the letters that say everything is great, and I got hurt. Everyone is fine, and Johnny's arm is doing better. Everything is wonderful, the electricity will be back on tomorrow. It may sound silly, but when away from home for an extended period of time, even the smallest thing on your end seems like a crisis on the other. So please take my advice, when you write about what's going on, both good and bad (we do want to know everything when deployed) make sure that he knows, that you've explained well, that all is okay. And please don't send him anything that will melt in the heat. All the best to both of you.
655981
i feel for ya! my daughter was giving me the attitude about having to work 65 hours per week at mc donalds! think this over carefully....if you have the rebel busted, you both lose....do what i did AND PUT THE KID TO WORK!!!! since he's so interested in girls, be sure to get him a job at the nursing home giving sponge baths to the old biddies. and do like i did...MAKE THE KID WALK! trust me, after putting in a 12 hour day giving sponge baths and emptying bed pans, the kid will never look at another girl again!
262024
Maybe he should try to re-up for a different MOS.  I know that things now for military people and their families are very stressful but trust me when you get out it's more stressful unless you have a job lined up.  Most prisons want to hire you or law enforcement if you are prior military service.  My experience after getting out of the military was not easy, it was very hard for me to find a job.  They wanted more education etc....or wanted to pay me nothing.  Like you said Health Care is a big issue.  If I were him I would look at a different MOS.\nGood luck to  you both
225515
I  think you find out the way that the men is  acting. If you  think he  is  you  should start  getting  ready  and  pretty  everyday  before  he  comes  from  work, showed  at he's  work  once in a  while,  do different  things that  he  can  noticed  that  you have  the  suspisious  and he  will stop.  I  f you  give  him  a hard  time he  will keep going.
571728
It's frustrating girl!!! Guys can be so juvenile, it is obviously because they are insecure themselves, and are making themselves feel better by belittling your man. And you are right, to tell a supervisor can often make things worse. The best he can do, I hate to say it  in that it is in a way sinking to their level, but think of the kind of things they might say to him, and come up with some really witty comebacks...put them in their place - not being objectionable, but even so they can't respond but might have a bit of a laugh. If he can try and break the ice with them, not by sucking up but by standing his ground...it isn't always easy but the truth is, sooner or later there will be another new guy, and the others will forget about your man and start focusing on him. Tell him to stay above it, and don't take the bait. He is better than that.
252959
I'm going to say YES!!! I think his boss feels like she & work should be his first priority. She is jealous of you.If it continues or escalates to sexual harrasment your husband should report her or put in a transfer request.Be Blessed!! Monica
39478
If this is continuing I would explain to the officer that having him come to your workplace is causing you distress. Ask him politley if you can go to his station and discuss the matter with him there when you are not working.\nIf you are curteous and explain yourself he probably would be happy to accomidate you. Just make sure that you show up when you have made an appointment.