the last time he blacked my eyes and beat knots on my head and bruises all over my body i need a support group or just to talk
214462
You may need to call the police if he is threatening enough. And from what it sounds, it's getting worse and there needs to be something done, but I don't fully know the situation and don't want to be judgmental of which I don't know the whole story. However, I have seen the same stuff happen with great guys. If you don't want to go to the police, talk to someone who is very close to you, i.e. your mom, sister, brother, best friend, dad. You don't want someone who will overreact and actually try to handle it themselves though. He probably will have to get counseling and you will need it too. Although you don't have the problem, his problem affects you. And if your children have witnessed any abuse, whether it be verbal or physical, they may need counseling. Tell the person(s) you choose the whole story and let them give you advice on what you should do. And WHATEVER you do, Don't let pride get in the way of you talking to someone about it. Alot of times that is people's problem, they don't want everyone knowing they made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes, and you just have to try to fix them or move on. Or you may need to divorce him, but I hope not b/c divorces are rough on the whole family. They know you and your husband alot better than I do, therefore will be able to tell you better what you need to do. I hope this helps and I hope you and your husband get this settled.
625622
~well has he been violent to u in the past if he has u should say something to our family or better off leave him~but if this is a one time thing then i think u should see what happens in the next few dayz but it all depends on his overall actions tords u~but if u feel guilty then u should talk and tell everyone (including him) how u feel~\n\ngood luck :)\n\nIsabella
99366
I know what you are going through, and I completely understand... missing your husband so much that it physically hurts.  It isn't the same seeing them on web-cam, or chatting in the Internet. Sometimes it helps to have a good cry (I always feel better after having a good cry), take a good long look at your kids, spend allot of time with them, watch them sleep for a bit, and hold them close... It will help.  Tomorrow is another day. Like the other posts said, start a journal, put all your feelings down on paper. Go see your parents or friends, get out of the house! Remember, take things one day at a time, and put your trust in god.  He will be there for you, he will shelter you, and he will take away the pain. I know this isn't really helping much but you will pull through this. I will pray for you tonight (and your hubby & kids.) Virtual Hugs (wish I was there to give you one in person) God Bless
550960
My sister, \n\nLet me first say I am so sorry that you are going through this.  It takes courage to post a question like this and risk hearing answers you may not want to hear.\n\nYou need to get away from him.  I know this because I was in an abusive situation but I was married.  \n\nPlease open your heart to hear this the  best way you can.  You are a beautiful queen with a spirit who deserves the best in life. \nPhysical abuse and emotional abuse is wrong. Regardless of the reasons that he gives you for his actions.\n\nHe has real issues with anger and abuse because he was probably abused himself.  It still does not give him a right to abuse you.\n\nMy concern is with you.  Your heart knows that something is wrong.  I had to ask myself after I left my relationship.  What was it in me that allowed myself to stay even after I recognized something was wrong?  I ask you the same question.  No matter what has happened in your personal past that makes you feel bad about yourself, you can recover and build your self esteem to heal the wound.\n\nI say that because I have been there.  I will pray for you.  Get out and now and allow yourself to heal before entering another relationship.  You don't need to be with anyone.  Love yourself first.  Learn how to do that.  You deserve it.  Once you start to  love yourself you will be able to see exactly why leaving this relationship is a blessing.  \n\nFeel free to email me.  Call your local family violence shelter. I would also say to call a church.  Unfortunately there are a lot of Churches that don't have experience in domestic abuse.  So if you call there and it seems like no one understands you, that's one reason why.\n\nI know you can do this.  He has messed with your mind for 4 years and he knows how to get to you.  My heart hurts with you.\nTake Care of you.  Know that you are not alone.
450503
I feel for you, you must be broken at the moment, but sadly I think he has made the decision not to be with at the moment for himself and wants to pull himself together on his own. I would ask him once if there's anything you can do to help, if so than he needs you as a support, if not, back off but ask after him to show you care until he's ready to share his life again, good luck.
89216
thats really really sad. i kind of know how you feel. one of the guys who went to my school got killed in a hunting accident and my great grandma died a couple of years ago. i know it really hurts i wasn't even really that close to the guy who got shot and i still am not really over it even though it was way back in november... i will pray for you and if you need to send someone something you can use the contact me thing in my profile.
565273
oh, sweetie, I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time! Is there anyone you can talk to? If not, find a counselor or someone you can trust, because it sounds like you need a good shoulder to cry on. Sometimes, you just have to hold your head up and live for better days, because it feels like there is nothing to hold on to anymore. But things get better, and soon you may find new people and new dreams that are even better than before, as hard as that is to imagine now. Or maybe your old dreams aren't as broken as they seem. There have been times I have lived for nothing but HOPE that someday things will get better. And they DID!!! Don't give up. I hope you find some comfort and peace that you need.
130393
I'm so sorry to hear about your painful experience. Losing someone you love that much is so diffucult. My heart is going out to you.  \n\nI don't know when this happened, how recent it was, but there is always a mourning period where you need to let your emotions out. Sadly, you didn't have the time you wanted with him.  Your future plans are turned upside down. I know a little about that myself. So, I'm sorry for your pain. If it's recent, it's going to take a while to move past this, but you will move past it.  In time the pain will dull and you may try to love again. It's so hard to think that right now, but love can happen again for you.  \n\nRight now your life may seem pretty aweful, it's hard not to have dark thoughts when you are going through what you are going through.  But your life is important to many people, your friends, your family, and especially your late boyfriend.  He loved you and would only want the best for you. I'm sure he's looking down on you and loving you from heaven right now.  And if he knew what would happen to him, he'd want you to be happy for the rest of your life. \nYour long life.\n\nYou don't have the worst life ever, it's just the worst it's been for you as of yet, and probably the worst it will ever be. If you're having trouble coping with the pain, talk to someone- a professional grief counsler can help. They can help you express the different stages of mourning in a healthy environment, and help you keep focused on how to keep your own life on track.\n\nSorry sweetie, this is so rough for you. I'll pray for you tonight.
311579
wether or not you want to press charges with either of these men is entirely up to you. what you need to do tho is to speak to someone who can help you deal with these experiences. If you cannot afford a therapist, or if you are young and don;t want to involve your parents in finding one, then find a free counseling service for victims of sexual violence. A couselor will provide a safe space for you to talk about what happened, a place to let out your rage, confusion, guilt, shock, etc. S/he will try to help you deal with any effects this is having on your life, such as depression, anxiety, lethargy, social withdrawal, shame,or whatever it is that you are experiencing. S/he will support you and try to give you the tools to cope with and process what happened. Organisations that offer this service will usually also be able to help you if you want to press charges - guide you through the process, prepare and support you for a possible court case. I've been through this sort of thing, I work with other's who have, and you are welcome to contact me. I wish you much strength.
154192
I'm sorry you are living in such fear, but you are letting him continue to harm you by living in that fear. He does not deserve to haunt you, instead he should have been punished. You did the right thing by telling and you should be proud of yourself for not being silent.\nPlease go your parents or another trusted adult and let them know how you feel. You need to go thru counseling and a support group to help you and how your feeling. \n\nI wish you the best of luck!
367510
just talk to him and make Sheree you dont make him feel handy cap try to avode his cancer i have lug cacer and im 14 and im tyered of people telling me how bad they feel for me i just want to have peiople talk to me normaly
391525
I would'nt worry too much if i was you even though i know you're heartbroken i bet you any money he'll be back begging for forgiveness from you very soon.I agree with the rest that he's being controlled by his family it's pathetic just look at it as a blessing in disguise that thankfully you learned his true nature this early on: that he's a spineless toe-rag.Now you can look forward to meeting a real man with a bit of backbone who will appreciate and love you and treat you as you should be treated.Goodluck hun.
277596
Mr. Croatia, I am so sorry to hear your sad news.. really...I hope I can say something that will indeed help you tonight..remember, problems are situations that have yet to be resolved......all problems PASS....just give it time and everything will be alright. I know that you have faith in God....remember, He is running the show, You are His child and he will CARRY you through it all.....Remember, when you had your last job YOU WERE AT FIRST LOOKING FOR A JOB.....another job will come, and hopefully it will be better....If you need some strength right now, remember the bible says - GET YOUR STRENGTH FROM ME WHO CREATED YOU!!!.... good luck to you, my friend, and you are in my prayers..... god bless...
324998
Listen honey I have been in a bad relationship myself and know where you arecoming from you have to stand up for yourself and move on you say you can't leacve Why? they have got you to the point where you are wallowing in self pity just as they like you. What is happening here is domestic abuse and it has to end before you end first. For your childrens sake leave him if he don't like it tell him where to go ****himself or tell him if he loves you to stand up to his family for you though from the sound of it he is week as s**t no man should ever allow anyone including his family to run you down. I wish i could do more for you but sadly I can't if you need to chat though send me an email and I will keep chatting and offering no strings advice I am a voluntary member of the samaritans and will make timwe to chat if you need me.
650518
Oh,Honey do I know how u feel!I am going through the same thing as I write.In fact I go to court this Thursday.Let me tell ya,it's very,very hard to deal with.Whether u did something wrong or not doesn't make it any easier.I'd like to tell u about my situation and how I deal with it,but this site does not allow enough space.If you want to talk more about it e-mail me @ kalasmom3@yahoo.com Or IM me @ either yahoo messenger or AIM.I'd love to try to help.Maybe we can help each other.Also,since I have almost 18 months in one child's being gone and 7 years in the other maybe I can offer some advice on how to fight to get them back.oh,my screen name on AIM is turntheclkbac.
591952
You said this just started and for no apparent reason. Maybe it is just that you have no clue to the reasoning behind it. I am not saying he is justified in treating you like crap or doing things in front of the children that he shouldn't but there has to be a reason for it. Have you tried asking him what is going on. Maybe something has happened and for what ever reason he can't or doesn't know how to share this with you so in turn his actions is a result of what ever is really bothering him. You have made it clear you won't put up with this so stress this to him again that if he can't share with you what is going on you can't try to help him with it but that he isn't going to take it out on you either. He needs to make the choice as to what to do and then you can choose what to do based on how he feels. I really feel for you hun as something happened to my ex husband and he thought he would become physical with me until I told him he would die before he hit me again and of course the final results was I left. I couldn't fix something that I had no clue as to what was going on and I was not going to be hit on or abused in any other way either. I hope he comes around before you leave him but do what is best for you and the children hun!!.
590117
if you seriously are hearing people call your name and no one is their i think you need to talk to someone I'm not saying your crazy or anything but maybe your just really stressed out in your life and your having a hard time coping with some things I'm sure your fine but to be safe you should seek some help  Maybe if you talk with someone it will help ease your mind and or get on some medication that will.\n\n trust in GOD and LOVE yourself and you will be OK !!