so im in a 6 month realtionship. my bf is insecure b/c im a flirt but he noes that i am, and he doesnt try to control me.\n\nso i didnt cheat on him, and i never would. i love being wirh him and he means a lot to me. so what happened was, he found a AIM converations on my hardrive between me and another guy.\n\nNow this other guy, is all about game, and he talks a lot of bullshit, so i entertained him talking bs too. he tells me how he likes me, askes me about me boyfriend, and i sort of made my boyfrined seem insignificant...\n\nwhen i saw my bf reading the convo i closed my laptop screen and i was trying to explain to him none of it was true, but he wouldnt listen he got really upset and left. \n\nand needless to say, hes ignoring me in everyway possible.\n\nwhat do i do??? i dont wanna loose him.
207561
He will come around, keep trying to reach him though in the meantime. When he does tell him that you want to explain and then tell him and be honest. If he accepts this then good for you, but if he doesn't then that is something that he will have to deal with, I would not bow down to him and all that bull, trust me he is a guy and his day will come and the shoes will be on his feet. I know the lose of him may seem great now but if he chooses not to forgive you or believe you then you must deal with this, if this is not dealt with then it will come back to haunt you and him. Of course tell him you love him and get all mushy but don't act like you have to endure any b u l l s h i t from him. This will be tough if you love him as much as you say you do. I would be upset if my lady was doing that, but if she told me that she was sorry for it and she loved only me then I wouldn't put her through the ringer about it. Good luck, I hope I helped.
457194
Explain to ur BF that he doesn't need to worry about ur friend. If u had a thing for ur friend u would have left ur BF for him. Explain that is not necessary for ur BF to be jealous.That you picked him to be your boyfriend and not your friend. Explain to ur friend that the only thing you can offer him right now is friendship and that is all that you can be right now. Make him understand the boundaries between the two of you.
326637
If more than one person is telling you, and these people don't have alterior motivation for wanting to break you guys up (like they have no personal reason to want to break you up), than I would say you should probobly believe them.  Of course your bf is going to say he's not cheating on you when you ask him.  You have to analyze the people that are telling you this and find out how they know and take it from there, good luck!
68850
Well I'm sorry to say this but she shouldn't have trusted him this much. I know she was so crazy for him because he was her firest bf even though she had never met him in person. You are her real friend and I think it's true that she never had any bf before, but what about him? He could have just lied to her about whatever he said. Maybe she wasn't this guy's first gf. Maybe he was playing around with her online after all just for fun. Then she started to get serious, which probably made him upset, so he just changed his phone # and everything to get rid of her. \nI'm so sorry to say this but there's nothing you guys can do. He doesn't love her as she does. It's just gonna annoy him if you try hard to find his new phone # and contact him to tell how much she loves him and wants him back. \nSorry...but I believe she learned something from this experience.
614361
i think that guy is just playing with you. don't take him seriously he lost his chance so well it all depends on you really do u still like ur actual bf or ur willing tobreak up him to go with the other guy. dunno this is complicated.
386875
well dont be an idiot about it. you obviously know what he's trying to do...so dont let him..tell him what the deal is, and that hes not going to use you to compete with your bf
626261
sorry girl they are annoying no matter what ya do!!!  sounds like he feels insecure about the relationship, is there anything you can do to make him feel more secure?  Are you providing him with his love language?  ( what ever makes him feel most loved, etc., gifts, words of affirmation, or acts of service?)  if not try something, anything that will help him know you are still in love with him.
158449
From what you described, I'm 99.9% positive that he has feelings for you. His problem is that he can't make a decision for himself. He's sending you quite a few signals. He's waiting for you to make the first move before breaking it off with his current girlfriend. He's insecure. He doesn't want to be alone. Question is, do you have feelings for him? Do you want to be with a guy that insecure? Remember, the relationship will change once everything is out in the open. Which is more important to you? The friendship or the relationship?
253582
ugh welcome to my world! its very hard to gain trust again and ive been struggling with that for the past year with my bf. he is amazing and loving and the best person i have EVER met,,, yet i am always testing the waters and trying to catch him out in a lie. it drives ME crazy so i would imagine it makes him feel that way too. \n\none step is realising what you are doing, which has happened because you are here asking the question. trust is sacred and its hard to get it back even tho this is a new person who hasnt hurt you. what im trying to do is, whenever i have those awful 'ghosts from the past' flying around my head, i think about everything great that my bf has said and done, things that are so different from anyone else and make me feel important and loved. it does help but i have to really work at the demons. \n\nim aware that there are no guarantees in life, you never know whats going to happen, but living in the past is not the way to go. there are people out there who would not cheat - you're one yourself so it stands to reason there are others. thats what i tell myself too. i have major jealousy issues because every single one of my exes way back to the teen years cheated on me with a girl they swore was 'just a friend'. i cant stand hearing those words and they make my skin prickle. but that is in my head and in my past. \n\none of my friends just told me that i have to tell myself that i CANNOT LET THE PAST CONTROL ME. all these years i thought i was in control, always on guard, always trying to catch people out in lies, etc etc. i vowed i would never let myself get humiliated again.. but thats where my fault lies - i was looking for it, waiting for it to happen again and letting it control my life. that is not healthy. i am trying to just live day by day and not let those that hurt me in the past CONTINUE to hurt me by infecting my brain and causing me to not trust my bf. if he truly loves me he will not cheat on me... so the message to take from that is tha if he does cheat on me one day, he is not the right person for me afterall and im better off not being in the relationship anymore, no matter how much it hurts. but i dont think about that often either, i think about today and tomorrow and yesterday. and how much love my bf shows me, and little by little its helping me to erase the past.\n\ngood luck! dont let others tell you that you are nuts, its a very hard thing to get over for many people, especially if you were badly hurt in the past and more than once.
87087
Your right to be concerned.  It sounds like this guy is all talk and no action.  If he really loved you and wanted to be with you then he would.  Right now it sounds like this is just a game for him with you being his back up.
554662
say NO. Once a cheat, ALWAYS a cheat. If he cheated then, how do you know he wont cheat now? If he lied then, how do you know he wont lie now? If you DO go back out with him you'll have to walk on eggshells the whole time because you'll be wondering in the back of your head "was he really where he told me he was, with the people he told me he was with, or was he somewhere else with somewhere else" Which saying those thigns to him or asking him alot will just lead to fights. A relationship is nothing without trust and it takes a long time to re-build trust after someone cheated/lied to you. Find someone out there who WONT do that to you, this guy sounds like a loser, and there are millions of guys out there that arent losers, so go find one! good luck!
469980
Sure he likes ya.. (he is crazy about you!) It shows again and again in what you write above! YES you are perceptive about that 'guy code.' I think he's got to work some things out in his head .. this is hard to do BUT it will pay off.. Give it a couple more months. Don't push it! You know one important thing (and it's a biggie) that this guy has got 'good morals..' If he's being respectful of his friends (I think it's kool) think how great and respectful he will be of YOUR feellings?! Am I right? This guy sounds like a real keeper, hon. You are doing o.k. too by the way by playing it cool.. keep it 'casual.'  Play back his 'hey, what's up?' to him. (Real kool how he stayed w/ya and slept there, didn't touch ya.. that what ya wrote, right? he was awkward in the morning..) He sounds like he is not going to cheat on you. (He sounds like a real dear.) I say GO for it!!!!!!
207303
Call him on it.  It sounds like neither of you trust each other, so if you get down to the root of the problem, hopefully you can overcome it.  Have you done anything for him to feel betrayed?  It sounds like he's reading them.  Just call him on it and have a conversation about it.
592797
I don't blame him for feeling insecure (3x break-up.  that'll screw anyone's head up-boy or girl), but I think you missed your chance to tell him the truth.  At this point he's hanging on to what has passed and like you, doesn't want to feel alone.\n\nSit down with him and tell him that after 3 break-ups, it's time to move on before any of us lose a sense of what we want.\n\nIt's going to hurt, but that's a part of the proccess.
467017
I would just move on because it sounds like he's not ready to be anyone's boyfriend.  You can do better...I have been where you are.  All you need to do is believe that you are worth more than that and don't worry about him.  He's immature and that's about it.
366188
Well, If he can be honest with you that is always good, but if he can't resist the temptation of flirting, that might not be good. Just tell him how you feel, and if he tells you he flirted with more test his trust worthiness, and if you can't trust him, loose him, if you can, KEEP HIM! I hope it works out!
324543
There a guy just like that in my life, I used to confine in him cause he was a good riend and he told me once that he like me and I should be with him even if it was a secret relationship, I told him I can't do that cause no matter how my bf hurt me I still love him and I am not going to leave him. I made my decision based on the vibes I was getting from the other guy. You need to ask your boyfriend's brother about his whereabouts on particular days. Use you woman's intuition, most of the time it is right and on clue. You need answers and you need them answered. But tell that guy exactly what is on your mind. Don't completely trust him. Take everything at face value and question other things completely.