i really know that i should get over my ex girlfriend. but no matter how hard i try not to think of her and no matter what i do i can't seem to get over her... it kills me sometimes thinking about her and sometimes i dont even want to live anymore....i guess i'm as depressed as it gets but...another thing is that i always was with my girlfriend and her friends and overtime i abandoned all of my friends that i had in the beginning...and now that i broke up with my ex and wanna hang out with my original friends they dont want me back with them hanging out ..and now basically i have no one. with no real friends...so i have no one to really talk to and help me with my problems...i just dont know what to do
200168
I wish there were a simple answer to this. It is especially challenging because you have lost your social NETwork of friends and confidants.(*Net, because it'll catch you if you fall.)\n\nIt sounds like your life as you know it already has ended. In a relationship-focussed world anyway.\n\nIf you can, I recommend embracing that and totally starting over. Commemorate the death of your old life by burning keepsakes. (letters, movie stubs, etc.) and then, if you can, ... move.\n\nI know that's durastic, but extreme times call for extreme measures. Unfortunately I get the feeling that you are still in highschool, or just starting college. (*the friends thing tipped me off, I'm not psycic.) Living with your parents or alone in an appartment can make it hard to just pick-up-shop and start a new life in a new place. Challenging, but it can be done. (besides, if it comes to it, symbolic death and re-birth is always better than suicide.) \n\nOh yes, and annother hard thing about this, ... unfortunately as far as I know, the pain never totally leaves. Depending on how you act NOW, will decide whether you are left with a scarred heart or a diseased heart. (*p.s. scar is the better choice.) If you can grasp that frightening concept, that this will always be with you at some level, then it will actually surprizingly be easier to continue your life journey. \n\nIt helps me to think in metaphors. If you have a broken arm, what do you do? you set it. If you broke it playing football, do you just try annother team? ....(*insert laughter) ... nooooo... you take time off and let it heal before thinking of getting back on the field. (i.e. don't listen to that old tale, what do you do when you fall off a horse? get back on? maybe. If you're not badly injured!) (i.e. don't try to forget about it by going girl-crazy. I don't know what possesses people to try that, it seriously would be like pouring salt-water on an open chest wound. .... maybe ...acid instead of salt-water...\n\nI feel sad to read your predicament. Don't let anyone tell you it's not real. It is more real than anything else. It hurts. For me, it's like a black hole in my chest. kinda like a pulling in feeling, like my own heart is trying to forcefully suck the life out of me.\n\nok, so in a nutshell... take some time to mourn. acknowledge all the feelings. (anger, resentment, lonliness, sadness, pain, freedom, etc..) use metaphors if it helps. (poetry is born from times like this!) and then...... Move. Litterally. change your surroundings. Look for some place that you would be comfortable calling home. Do research first. (if you have that luxury...) probably most importantly though, is to start fresh. New faces. New people. New Jobs. New atmospheres. Even just a new lunch spot will help. Be bold. You will be amazed at what courageous new things you are willing to try when the pain is so bad.\n\nGood Luck! You can do it! You are an awesome person! You have the power, now all you need to do is decide where to direct it!\n\np.s. after reading some of the other responses, I have to add, that friends don't grow on trees. And, true friends are TRUE because you put the effort forth to keep them your friends. Friends are very important. Especially good friends. And Good Friends are people who know that friends are important! (i.e. if you are serious about having a strong friend-net, you look for friends that are serious about having a strong friend-net! You can't make a good friend out of someone who doesn't feel the need for serious good friends.)\n\nSome hints on keeping friendships strong: Contact your friend regularly. (regularly= once a day, every day. or once a week, every week. ... as long as it is consistant.) Trust is built this way: I punch the desk. It hurts. The desk is there. I touch the desk. It does not disappear. I walk out of the room. I walk back. The desk is still there. I close my eyes and walk into the desk. OUCH! It&#3
145197
You need to move on. You can't get over your ex because you keep listening to the love songs that you listened to when you were with him. You need to realize that it is over and tell yourself that you will never be with him again. Listen to some different music. Music that sings about a women getting out of a bad relationship and moving on with their lives. It won't be easy. It will take some time but, eventually you will get over him and find someone else to love. Maybe when you are over him, you can become friends and that spark might rekindle and you will get him back. But, for now except that it is over. Allow yourself to get over him.
120363
Laugh at them. I mean, she couldn't handle being single and fell into a rebound relationship that is doomed for failure. It's painful, I know, but don't worry. You're over her, what she does shouldn't bother you. Let her find another guy, let her screw up that relationship, and push her from your mind. You'll find someone else soon enough.
582306
I'm sorry to hear that you're missing your ex.  I know it's hard.  I highly recommend a funny but great book by Greg Behrendt (the guy that wrong He's Just Not That Into You).  The book is called:  It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.  It's an easy book to read but it's insightful. \n\nUnfortunately, time does heal all wounds.  You aren't there yet because it's still fresh in your mind.  And it feels like FOREVER to you right now.  Keep busy, go out with girl friends, have day pampering yourself, treat yourself to something nice, try something new you've always wanted to do, try something that you're afraid and it'll give you confidence that you were able to over come your fear, or volunteer with children or anyone in need (it'll help a w/ the loneliness).  Focus on you getting the most out of your life even though you don't want to.  At this time it's not about your boyfriend, it's all about you.
655993
I honestly think that you might need some distance in order to move on with your feelings. It is going to be hard to forget her if you are still close as friends.  How will you feel knowing that you are no longer together and being in the same room as her? You would feel like crap and distance will minimise that feeling.\n\nUltimately it will take time to move on.  Love hurts like hell when you break up and it takes time to get over that 'worst part' pain. If you keep your distance and keep contact  minimal, plus keep going on with your own life, you will eventually find that the pain will subside.\n\nI hope you make it through this emotional roller-coaster we call  relationships.
536353
yes, u wanna b with her because ur so used to it that its hard to stop, its like a routine that u have going and without it u feel lost and confused, so u should try to find another girl that makes u more happy and maybe then ull b ok to break up with the old gf bc u can then start a new routine, one u actually enjoy :)
545667
you are simply attached to ur ex..... hopefully, after some time, you will forget about her.  since it just happened its still fresh in your mind.  relax yourself and let time pass.  Open your mind to new opportunities and see wat happens.
74441
just move on with your life.hang out with your old friend..do the things that u usually do with ur girls.participate in a sport or any club that u once have in ur mind.just forget him/her. i mean totally forget him. dont even think about your past with him/her,it will make it more worst.
176154
It is hard as you and them do not see each other..you lost contact and they make new friends in time.\nyou have to learn to let go of them and start afresh and try to make friends with new people..You have to try to move on with life and make it fullest of it.\n\nThey were there for you before ,not now. You have to learn to let go and move on.\n\nTry it alright.\n\nTake care.
630079
well I know how u feel, coz I just got out of 3 years relationship, 6 months ago. He's still in my head, and I think about him sometimes. I tried to date but it doesn't work out, coz I'm not over my ex completely. Here's some suggestion, forget about your ex and move on. But if you can't then don't rush hooking up with some other guy coz it's not fair for ur new guy. Good luck sweetie!
291463
I'm sorry about your breakup, I know things like this can be hard and no matter what people say, we always want things to come out the way we hope it does. \n\nBut it seems like, almost a year is going by, and no progress.  Do you realize that if you keep trying to get back with someone who doesn't want you, you may miss the one intended for you?  It seems like it's really over between the two of you, and maybe it's time to move on and spend some time recovering from your breakup.  Then get back into the dating field and see what happens.  \n\nI hope you find who you are looking for, because it isn't this other girl.  \n\nGood Luck!\n:)
230937
Maybe you should seek the advice of a medical professional to help you deal with your depression. They can help control you depression so that you may not be so hard on yourself. You are 21 and your life is just beginning. Have faith in yourself and believe that you can truly be happy. As far as the relationship, well, you will have to decide if what she did was so terrible that you just can't forgive her or trust her anymore. There can be no relationship without trust. It is okay to remember the good times that you had with an ex. It makes you remember what it was that made you want to be with them to start with. Do not let it dominate your thoughts. Get out, meet new people, hang out with friends. All of these will help you to start moving on with your life and faster than you think, it will not be so painful anymore. Good luck to you and I wish you much success in your efforts to move on!
213490
don't count on getting back together, or being very good friends for that matter. my ex gf said the same thing about maybe getting back together, now shes dating one of my friends and we barley ever talk
160193
Just keep in mind why you guys are exes in the first place. She obviously has moved on. You should too. Be strong. Get yourself distracted. Write down stuff that you've always wanted to do for yourself, for your room, for whatever. Go through that list slowly and day by day you'll find in no time you've forgotten how you feel about her already. Plus.. you've been able to get a whole lot of stuff done for yourself that you may have been putting off for a while.
597076
I'm in the same boat honey. I'm trying to get over this guy who only wants to be my friend now.  And yes I want that, but every time I hang out with him I want to hug and kiss him like I used to, which wasn't too long ago. What my friends tell me, and what I'm now telling you, you need to break away from him for awhile. Try not to call him, as hard as that is, and just give your heart and head a break from him. And maybe in a couple weeks or months, or however long it takes you, you'll be able to hang out with him with no feelings other than friendship aimed at him. Also another good way of getting over him, is trying to date other people, even though they won't be him and you'll be comparing them all to him, it'll be a stepping stone, and eventually you'll meet that guy and not even think about your ex. Hope this makes sense and helps. Good luck.
210818
sometimes the other peson has to be rude to get over you it helps, now I personally cant get over a girl if I see her all the time, and talk to her, that makes it hard.
523191
You mentioned that you were confused with your life. Perhaps you should try getting a better foothold with your own life before you do anything else. Getting back with her while you remain in a state of confusion isn't going to help the both of you. And if you really want to be with your ex girlfriend, I'd suggest you come clean about your feelings to her and your present girlfriend. A girl wouldn't want to patch if you're already seeing someone else. Don't give your ex the wrong impression that you are a 'two-timer'.