My girlfriend seems to want everything but is unwilling to make sacrafices for it.  Shes a perfect example of a true "spender".  Both of us are in our early 30s and she barely has a penny to her name.  I'm worried if we get married that she might  continue to not think long term and spend all of her, and my, money on extraneous, materialistic things.  How can I show her the importance of saving now and how cutting back on the finer things in life is worth it, if not necessary, in the long run?
206098
she might not be the right person for you to marry if these things are going to bother you. she obviously has a different attitude about money then you do. if you truely love her then you wont let things like this worry you so much. all i can say is that you think hard about why you love her and want to marry her.
609733
It wasn't "wrong," per se. More like bad timing. It also sounds like she may be having second thoughts about the kiss and is using the money as an excuse to justify her internal regret. Have you tried to explain to her what you explained here? It may help to give her some time and then try to write a letter in a card explaining things. It never hurts to try.
520521
I guess I might start by both of us setting down and take a look at what is going out in bill's 1st for the month.\n Then look at what is left over after bill's food gas for work --Then add up your pay coming into the home each week then add that up to see what you have now deducted the over all bill's from that ---That is what you have left to play with or save.Now this is where each of you need to see what each of you may spend with whats left over.And if there is not enough to shop that week or every 2 weeks just don't do it !\nIt takes a lot of disciplined as you know since you are the Strict Budget one.\nBut yes I would set down in a loving way and talk it out.\nYou sound like a sweet husband.trying to fix something before it gets out of hand.
670335
I know this is tacky, but buddy, the only way not to lose out on the big bucks is to keep it for the next one. Then, just buy a different setting next time so it's not the same ring. You have to look at it for what it is - a rock. A thing. A possession. A cold material item. It does not represent anything anymore. It's just something you own. That's worth a lot of money. You'd be silly to throw that money away. Just don't tell a soul. Not your mom. Not your ex. Not your buddies. No one. This is your secret. And don't you feel bad for a minute, because it does not mean you won't love the next person any less. It just means you're smart with money. Do you think I go out and buy all new lingerie every time I get a new boyfriend? Sheets? Do you think I buy a new bed? Hell no. It's not realistic. It's too expensive. Use the diamond for the next setting. It's actually kind of beautiful and poetic. You gave your heart/diamond away once. It was returned to you, and you'll always be affected by that. But that doesn't mean you won't give your heart/diamond away again, and when you do, it won't be of any less value because you've loved once before.
500448
You sound like me and my fiancee. We are paying off all our bills before we get a house. We are going to get a house and stuff before we get married. We figure maybe that will help out some with the stress of marriage if we already have some things in order. He also wants to provide me with a house and stability before marriage. I don't have any problem with it, I would rather have all these things in the beginning instead of having to worry about it afterwards. I wish yall all the luck.
329779
Just have moderation in everything you do. Don't eat out, forgo movies and other entertainment you have to pay for, have a yard sale of your unwanted things, I knew a lady once who made $500 on a yard sale.  You'll have to get creative to save money on entertainment, but many communites have free concerts, or you can go for a walk in the part.  If it's possible, you and your partner can get a second, part-time job.  Or go to a temp agency and take some extra jobs that way.  Good Luck. \n\nP.S.- I know you want a house, just don't get in over your head and start of your new life back in debt.
84055
Do you mean to sacrifice to achieve the happiness you deserve? That would be 'my' opinion, anyway. To work hard and save money, not spending money on every little thing I don't need, that is an example of what I mean. That you added 'you deserve' is an interesting thing. A lot of people seem to think they deserve something 'without' sacrificing.
446768
The fact that you said you "have" to buy him a present makes it sound more like an obligation than something out of the heart. How about just spending time together? That beats everything. But that's just me.
384152
Ultimatum or Loose her.\nI wasted 7 years on that.\nAll she cared about was my bank account.\nYou are not a Priority with her.\nprolly not even in the top ten.\nDon't waist your time. For Whatever reason.\nCould be a lot of things... abuse etc... You may get a 100's of stories.\nWhatever. Don't deal with it!
245923
He may have fallen into the "make more money to have a better life with my family" obsession/trap.  Get him to talk about "why" he's doing what he's doing.  If he's in that mindset, help him remember that money is a means to and end and that losing the end while pursuing the means is foolish.  Um, don't make him "feel" foolish, though.
200817
Today is all you have (the short answer). I am still embroiled in the quotidian struggles of worrying over finance etc. But keep in mind that most of us are, and that you may take at least some small comfort in the knowledge that others are commiserating with you (the stoic option). Instead of focusing on what you do not have, place priority on what you do have (youth, a husband, job, etc). Small pleasures are to be seized when they emerge, so do not sully your enjoyment of them by focusing on a future that is still somewhat uncertain.
498713
What ever you feel he like, but don't get into debt trying to buy it. If your doing it out the kindness of your heart then thats all fine and dandy, but always remember money cant' buy love Never. So its the thought that count at least you think that much of him. Take care and have a good Christmas!
483250
Just because they have a net worth of $2 Million doesn't mean they have to spend it on everyone else....they'd be broke if they did that.  $6000 is a LOT of money to give someone, be thankful they spent money on you at all--it looks like they were pretty generous.  Also, you and your spouse are your own people...you need to learn to stand on your own two feet and make your own way, financially as well as emotionally.
428447
Evaluate the relationship; ask yourself: Is this woman the "one"?  If she is does she see you as the one?  Is it a win-win situation?  Or, are you losing.  Judge this by things that have happened; avoid your personal feelings as much as possible.  Men pay for it; I don't care what anyone says to the contrary.  Women do expect to be treated generously.  Also you use the word "must"; does that mean you can't afford her?  If that's the case then you either have to find a way to support her, or find the strength to leave her if she is not open to compromise.  If your crazy about her, ie. you need her to be the mother of your children, then you may need to take desparate measures.  I think you know what I mean.   The goal is to make her: a. see your intensity b. realize her necessity (to your life) c. understand that you will more than be able meet her needs in the future.  \nHope this helps.
648489
Wait until you've pawned your wife's wedding ring. I'm sure you'll still have some money left over after bailing out your girlfriend.
41897
from a mans stand point! you know your wife more than anybody! sit back and think of some of the thing she has talked about. love is something money cannot buy. give of youself, do something for her. make her feel like she is the only woman there is.
526298
My Mom gave me the best advice a long time ago: "Never enter into a long term relationship with someone if your happiness is based on the other person becoming something they are not now. "  Since money is one of the most common reasons for marital discord and even divorce, you need to sit her down and talk to her about what is going to happen once you are married.  Will you have a joint checking account, or will you have separate accounts?  Will she keep working, and if she does, will her money be her own, or how much will each of you contribute to the household? Who will be responsible for paying the bills so that you don't end up getting your electricity turned off, or losing your home?  Can you put her on a budget?  Will she accept you taking over all the finances to prevent overdrafts, which are expensive and can trash your credit rating as well as hers?  What will happen if she continues to do this after you are married?  You are right, she needs to learn to manage her money better, and you should stop bailing her out and make her face the consequences.  You are teaching her to take advantage of you, and if you don't put a stop to it, you will be paying all the bills while she spends all the money she can on unnecessary things.  I'll bet she could have paid you back, she has just chosen to spend her money on other things first.  Sooner or later, you are going to resent her perfect nails and the new outfit she sports while still owing you money.  You need to make her pay you back, even if it is only $20 every 2 weeks, or whatever she can afford.  Work this out now before you get married, or you probably won't be married for long.  My suggestion: put her on a cash budget.  Take away her checks and credit cards, so she can't spend money she doesn't have.  Once she learns to manage her money that way, gradually reintroduce checks and credit cards, as long as she stays within her budget.  It won't be pleasant, but better to solve this now, even if it means breaking up, than to find out after you are married that she can't be reformed.  Good Luck!!