when I confornted him that i get upset he said he only really reads FHM and that it isnt really porn at all and he likes the articles really, is this likely to be true?
206722
He may like the articles, but he is looking at it for the pictures too.  I wouldn't get upset with him though.  He is only looking, and it doesn't mean that he feels any different about you or that he is looking for someone else.  It is mostly fantasy.
459978
My view of it: lying is not OK. Looking at porno - it is up to a couple, whatever they agree upon - is the rule they set for themselves. Apparently, you guys agreed (or was it just you?) that he won't be looking at it. Now he is looking at it and lying about it. He apparently doesn't know how to TALK and re-negotiate the arrangement that doesn't work for him or the promise he cannot keep. \n\nI don't like when my husbant looks at porno. He knows it very well and he doesn't do it in my presence. I know that he didn't agree to stop looking at it, so I don't go after him. But I don't care about too much so I don't make a big fuss about it. I'm not saying this is the right thing to do. I'm just sharing what I do.
629253
The issue here isn't the porn, it's the sneaking around and the lying about it. That's your real problem.\nIt's only the beginning hon, unless you go get help now.\nMy ex started with magazines, then on to movies, then the Internet. At times he got so engrossed in it that I could walk right up behind him and he wouldn't know I was there. I'm not a prude and would do anything for him then, but yet he was so hooked on porn that I had to go without for 3 -6 weeks at a time. Finally, I was working nights, he was supposed to be home watching our son, who he had exposed to this crap "accidentally" a few times before. He was sitting in the recliner acting all comfy and sleepy. Just as soon as I had left the house he jumped up and ran to a local strip club, leaving our son unattended. After years of promises and trying I finally left him. Don't let that happen to you. Talk to him and then get counseling.\nI just wonder why there are so many women on here that are trying to make it sound like it's the woman's fault? Sad............
655245
Be very worried. My ex husband watches porn. He did the whole time we were married. He ended up cheating on me pretty much the whole 20 years we were together. I believe that him watching so much porn had a lot to do with it. I am sure that his attitudes about sex, it being his right to cheat on 'his woman', etc also havd a lot to do with it as well.\n\nI would personally be very concerned/worried if your partner is watching porn 3 or 4 times a day. They are, eventually, not going to be satisfied with just watching it on tv. They are going to go outside of the relationship to get what they are seeing. \n\nI would suggest counseling for your partner. Also tell your partner how much it bothers you, worries you, etc. Watching porn is dangerous for a relationship UNLESS both parties are watching it together to learn tips or to get aroused, but only once in awhile, NOT all the time.
500900
Excuse me if I sound a little impolite but I think you have a control issue here! YOU thought it was time to share fantasies; YOU told him you should watch porn together; YOU have a higher sex drive; what can YOU do?\n\nFor goodness sake, give the guy a break.  Not everyone enjoys fantasies and porn and some people are a little uneasy with that level of intimacy.  Listen to him and his needs.  He doesn't want that right now.  Stop pushing or you will lose him.
466987
You're just not fulfilling his fantasies, he's using porn to try to get his imaginations to come to life...............be grateful he's not running off to someone else who will.  Porn is far better alternative than cheating or leaving all together.  To be honest, porn is quite healthy for a relationship.
629791
happyhere,\n\nThe fact he is going to a website doesn't mean he doesn't love you.  Speaking bluntly, he masturbates, he looks at other women, he picks his toenails, etc.  In short, he does all the normal "guy" stuff.\n\nI know it might be difficult to reconcile how he can be "so in love" with you and be involved in these "distractions" but it is very possible.  He might be curious, he might have decided that he wants a certain kind of relationship with you and he will get other devious needs fulfilled outside of your relationship.  It might also mean he secretly wants you to do some of that stuff, but he doesn't have the guts to ask.\n\nLong story short, if this bothers you, and it obvioulsy does to the point that you threatened to end the relationship over it, consider talking to him about this.  You don't have to tell him you caught him a second time, but you should ask him if he is really fulfilled - both emotionally and physically...or ask him on a scale of 1-10, or some other way that might get him to open up without feeling threatened - it won't be easy because this is a delicate subject.\n\nAnyway, good luck.\nC
96098
The bible says something like if you.. lust in your heart ..then Yes it is Adulty. In daily life adultry is when there is a sexual act committed not just thoughts.  So in Gods eyes yes and in worlds eyes no. It may of just been a fun day or way to rebell and he needed a crazy moment to vent.. I sure don't think you should let it destroy a relationship..if it really bothers you tell him... and if he really cares for you he will not do that anymore...If he continues well you for sure got a problem..
240255
I had that problem with my ex-hubby I caught him constantly spanking the monkey online, calling 900 numbers It is an addiction just like drugs or alchol except they are addicted to the fantasy that the porn and other things gives to them. The problem lies with him not you. Blame him not you and if this is how he really is trust me you are better off by yourself.
515045
He won't give you an answer because to do so truthfully he would have to accept the truth about himself. He is very insecure in the relationship and has very low self esteem. And an anger management problem!His doing this before you marry him could actually be a blessing. Today your diary was torn up,what will you do when it is you that he rips to pieces? I beg you to walk..no RUN away from him ASAP!\n\n Older not wiser, you are very rude with your words. Do you know what was in the diary? Why do you assume it is about sex and why do you call her a pro? you sound as bad as her b/f! I call it  the SMS Syndrome....small man syndrome!
176326
do you ever read? this is the f**kin' internet! you should read read read! not all women work in the sex industry, you idiot! and why are you looking at porn when you can look at other things on the net, you're the one who's narrow-minded not us. your questions are stupidity personified.
273269
You answered this question yourself lady....he really likes porn...in all hetrosexual porn the man is 'serviced' by the woman, who is the 'receptacle' for his sex. You have been servicing him, once you have done that he is done with you, in fact he makes you initiate the contact to emphasise the fact that you are servicing him. What you have is a USER, not a LOVER. \n\nSorry.....
351773
Porn or anything like it can be destructive to a relationship if it bothers one partner as is the case. Guys are visual creatures by design... so looking at pictures wouldn't be such a big deal but the searching through personals is a little different. If he is closed off to you otherwise, perhaps he's stuck there. Don't allow him to get further away in his head. If he won't talk to you, then get into a couple of counseling sessions and clear the air. He may have issues or be in a personal slump. Sometimes, as guys, these types of things are outlets for personal self-esteem isssues. Get to the bottom of it but be strong and stand your ground. Don't let him just write it off. Good luck.
592862
So....you  like to watch porn before sex and you have the idea that your boyfriend will think it's weird?  Umm...that's highly doubtful.  He is more likely to jump in the air and be all happy.  Though there is a Chance you might have that 1% of guys that don't like porn, chances are you have the other type of guy....who will say 'yes, my Gf likes porn'
303316
If you are comfortable in how you look.... That is all that matters.  Pardon me for saying this, but this guy sounds like a jerk.  How come you are staying with him if you feel that he does not find you attractive?  Perhaps you should move on to somebody that will love you for "you" and not need to turn to porn for sexual gratification.  \nHave you ever just confronted him and ask if he finds you appealing in a sexual way?  I still think it is time for you to start looking for a better relationship.\n\nI can't believe you offered to let him take pictures of you, and he declined..... Most guys would jump at the chance to take some hot pics.  \n\nIf he is making you feel stupid or ugly, you really don't need that in your life!  A good partner in a relationship should make you feel happy, and he should not be afraid to show you exactly how much you mean to him.... At least that is my opinion...  If you want to "vent" more about this situation, you can always email me.. I am a good listener.\n\nI wish you luck!  I hope things improve for you!  don't let this guy get you down!
348053
insecure a little,are there any other signs.unexplained money missing,new jewlery,or new underwear for him not tighty whitys?ask him what this big secret is a a true and open relationship knowing everything is what belongs on the table.Where where you for those two months?is he  worried that you were with someone else.keep those lines of communications open or your find yourself on the road to failure.Explain to him how much you  love him and that you feel that heis holding back on info is putting a wedge then listen to see what  is said.you may not like it,it could be anything.sometimes men who dont watch "porn" could be anything from simply having respect for a women the act of making love to he may have been abused in his life at some point this is very difficult for men to talk about the whole macho thing.listen be strong and find out the secret for both of your sakes.
414377
Fact:\n\nmen look at porn to escape from something they are running away from something they are not dealing with.  I am not suprised you feel unnattractive! - this is abusive behaviour and totally disrespectful to you.\n\nI don't think it has anything to do with the fact that he finds you either ugly or attractive. It is to do with him and the effect of what he is doing is making you feel like you are the one with the problem but you are not - he is the one with the problem and he needs to sort it out now.\n\nIt seems like he has a pretty serious addiction and is neglecting you in place of porn.  If he doesn't want to talk with you, then he will have to talk with someone about it if he wants to remain in a relationship with you.  This cannot go on and he is not accepting responsibility for his addiction and apologies aren't going to change this.\n\nI think you feel used and responsible for what I am pretty sure he has lured you into those things you now feel really guilty about. But  he is addicted to porn, has been even before you got together as an addiction doesn't start just because of what you two did together.  His behaviour has it's roots from an earlier time and has just grown over time.\n\nYou are not guilty for sharing what you thougt was some fun between you - that was seperate from any porn he engages in and doesn't make you responsible for what he has done and is still doing now.  The videoing will have nothing to do with what addicction he has, so please don't feel guilty for his problem.\n\nPorn is very destructive and any person who jusifies it in their answers have no real idea as to the damage it causes.  It is a real relationship killer and is abusive.  Give him the choice of either getting help for this problem or to pack your things and leave him to it.  He will continue to be like this the longer he chooses to be in denial about it.\n\nWhat you did with him wasn't wrong or bad and didn't cause the addiction he has. No amount of sexual adventer between two loving couples can create an addiction to porn - it already has to be there inside the person and he had this even before you got around to adventerous sex.  He made his own choices and you didn't help him just because you had some adventerous sex togther.\n\nHe crossed the line of love and intimacy with you in a way that is totally disrespectful to you.  What he did with you was a shared intimate thing but didn't give him permission to then jerk off with fictional women outside of the relationship he has with you.  This line has been crossed and he cannot allow his apologies to make up for what he is destroying with you.\n\nHe cannot love you nor respect you and so he has to change or be left to his addiction.  This is just awful and truly feel awful for you.  You do not deserve this and you are probabley better off ditching him however difficult this might be, it has to be done because he will continue to abuse you like this by not meeting your sexual or emotional needs - that is abuse.\n\nWhat you have done right is be committed to a serial porn addict and love him regardless and unconditionally and shared an intimate and loving relationship when it was one.  So how does this make you wrong in anyway? - You gave him all that a committed girlfriend could have done and more and he is the one doing the neglecting and abusing, so what is he doing wrong? - this is the question.\n\nHe is doing everything a dysfunctional person would and is abusing your trust and love for him, so he is the problem not you. He will be the one making you feel guilty for what he is doing, so now he either has to stop, ot you walk out on him.