i'm gonna be 20 in june and i have a terminal illness. I dont dwell on that fact but it does affect me. I'm not sick yet to the point of being scared i'm gonna die but i often think about things like if i have kids how old they'd be when they lose their mother and things of that nature. My bf has the same illness and thinks its stupid that i plan things around die'n. Is it normal to think about death like i do? Is it okay that i worry about kids who dont exist yet?
216035
Well, I think that in some ways you are trying to be responsible, but if you dwell on it to the point that you miss out on the life you do have left, then you need to rethink things. See the point is this, I lost my daughter when she was 13 1/2. It was very unexpected. I know someone who went into the hospital for a minor surgery and died, I also had my brother in law die from cancer. You never really know when it's your time, you have a terminal illness that yes you will someday die from yet you could be killed in a car accident tomorrow. Everyone is dying, from the moment you are born your body starts the process. It is a part of life. There is no one alive who won't face it one day. I got a fortune cookie after the death of my daughter and I have it taped to my wall, it was rather weird to get it when I did, but I understood all to well what it meant.... Counting your time is not so important as making your time count.....Death is not something to be feared but rather just another step in your progression. I hope you enjoy life to it's fullest and go listen to Tim Mcgraws song called Live like you were Dying I think that's the name. It's a great song. I wish you the best and hope that you enjoy the simple pleasures and the friends and loved ones that you share this journey with. And remember\nCounting your time is not so important as making your time count.....Tomorrow is not  guarunteed for anyone.\n\nA great book to read actually a couple of them are\nGrieving the Pain and the Promise by Deanna Edwards. It talks about all sorts of grief and about dying\nhttp://www.deannaedwards.com/\n\nThe Message by Lance Richardson it is an incrediable story!\nhttp://www.americanfamilypublications.com/
602921
well i had it with work and school, when i was a freshman my dad was dying from cancer and i had to fly to go see him and one of my teachers said im sure you can wait till the end of the year its not like hes going to die tomorrow.also at work i had an aunt die in the beginning of the month and an uncle die at the end of the month and my boss said wow your family is just dropping like flys and im sure its not because of the warm weather.
462438
My mother has a very painful and terminal disease.  She prays that she will die soon.  \n\nThat is a big reason why I don't believe in god any longer.  She has been a faithful follower her whole life, and her lord /god/protector lets her suffer. \n\nI don't think that I will freak out when it's my time to go, and I KNOW that there are some people who are eager to go.
330665
I don't dwell on death, I know that when the time is right and my time on earth is up, death will find me and I will go home to heaven.  I know that earth is just my temporarry home and I don't fear death.  I like to focus on my family and making the most of my time here with them.  God Bless you!
327802
I’m really sorry for your loss.\n\nYour experience is very normal, and I’ve heard as much from other people, especially if they had a good steady relationship with the parent who died. My grandfather died recently (he was in his 90's), and my mother is going through the same thing, even though she was prepared for it.\n\nEven deep friendships have the same sort of “resonance.” One author wrote about his best friend dying in an unexpected accident and said that every time he saw a white SUV of the same model as his friend’s sitting in a parking lot or passing him on the road, he had to fight the urge to pull over or turn around and look for him. His head knew that his friend was gone and not coming back, but his heart kept hoping anyway. \n\nThere are so many cues around us that we associate with someone we care about, and even when they are not there, we are still cued to respond.\n\nI know it’s distressful, but unless you are doing some dangerous things because of the feelings or find yourself unable to function on a daily basis, I would just say you’re very normal. \n\nLook at it as a clear indication of how much you loved your father and what a good relationship you two had together: Even though he has died, his presence still seems very real to you. \n\nHe is in a sense “always with you.” \n\nThat’s actually something special -- it's an experience that some people never have with their parents or anyone else. In a way, although you are suffering his loss, you are still very blessed.
366449
I have not lost a parent. I have lost a brother. We were approx. 12 months apart in age. He died drinking and driving when I was 20 and he was 19. I was devastated, but never cried about it. He and I had talked about death but not our own. There isn't a day goes by I don't think about him. I am sad, on the inside, but not depressed. I can talk about him with great pride and conviction without crying a drop. And about the loss..... is there anyway to describe the feeling of emptiness and loss? No, but we can not dwell on what we can not change. I do know that my life would be completely different if he were here. I moved 1000 miles from home, just to get away from the sadness, it didn't help. But it did change the whole direction of my life. I will not say that it is a mental illness to have feeling like this, but it is very difficult to express the way you truly feel. I try not to talk about it but feel better when I do. His birthday was last week 10/25. Mine is today.
396497
HI! I will definitely pray for you two. I am so sorry about your illnesses. That is so tragic. There is power in prayers and strength in numbers. My brother was written off as 'terminal' when he was 15. He's now 49! He had many prayers and is wonderful and healthy now. I wrote your names down and will contact others to pray for you as well. God bless!
217890
I am 62, and the thought of dying doesn't scare me.  That only gives me 8 more years to do what I want to do..  One needs to have their ticket ready and their bags packed if it doesn't happen fine, and if it does fine also.  I have Jesus Christ life insurance.  I forgot the second part, about heaven.  I will be back first off for the millenium reign of Christ, and then for the new heaven and earth.  So I won't just stay in heaven.
582809
I am about to have a tumor the size of a cantalope removed from my body this Friday.  I also have a mass on a kidney.  I would be leaving behind three great little kids.  I care if you live.  You don't know what you have until there is a threat that it will be taken from you.  When I was younger I admitted myself to a psych hospital for three weeks because I didn't see any more reason to live.  Back then I really couldn't see any future for me.  If I had only known all the good things that were down the road.  Life is a gift and the best is yet to come.   Even if things are tough now, believe me, better days are ahead.  I care very much.  I don't want to die, and it hurts me to think of someone not understanding what they are throwing away.  Please seek help if you are serious.  Your are worthy of a wonderful life.  You deserve good things.  I don't know you, how old you are, what your situation is or if you are just bored and typing this question to see what people say but no matter what your reason for writing, I can assure you as someone facing some scarey stuff, I care very much that you CARE that you live.
287220
Realize that life really doesn't suck at all.  \nA friend dying is a friend who no longer desired to be here on earth and shouldn't really be a sad thing at all.\nWe create our own reality and we should change it if we don't like what we create.  Remember, we create what we think about, what we concentrate on.  If you concentrate on sadness because your friend died then that will be your lot.\nIf you concentrate on the good memories that you have of your friend then that will be your friend's legacy to you.\nLook around you and if you don't like what you see then look within' and change your thoughts.
582070
See!!!It's natural.U know wats the definition of life.It's a period between life and death.Don't take it so seriously.Don't think of death.It's foolishness.To prevent what u must do is daily wen u wake up go and pray 2 god.Thank him for giving you such a good life.U r born for some reason.Think about ur plans 4 future.Whats ur ambition and all that stuff.It's UR LIFE! USE IT! ENJOY!
170445
We start dying as soon as we are born. I think death is a part of life and one has to accept it. I had a close call with death thrice in my life but still never have nightmares about it. I am not scared of death nor do I invite it. All I know is that I will accept it peacefully when it comes. If I do expect something in my life related to death it will just be a peaceful and painless death. Something like dying in a moment without suffering with the pain for long.
629685
Hi ..I like to thank you, for that compliment..on my question!.. \nSo ..thanks!!:) ..\n\nI think : that I would like to die,the way that people remember me..\nthe age does not really matter..as long  as you can..go in a civilized  ..way! ...and left the people..you treasure,a positive. image..of, " Me "..so they  have it easier..to cope with..later on,in their lives!! ........\nkind regards!!:))
74514
Sometimes this type of healing can take a long time.  But there will come a time that when you think of them you will smile instead of cry.  I work at a hospital and deal with death quite often.  Just remember, death is part of life, it is natural and it happens to everyone.  There are never any reasons or answers.  It just is.
619308
Emily,\n\nWhile it may seem as if your friend knew her own destiny to be short lived in life, I would be inclined to also believe that in relating her thoughts of this too you she in no way expected her young life to end nearly so soon or in such a tragic way. There are those who believe they can see their own future and personally I feel some do but in your friends case I think her words were spoken to you with no thought of losing her life quite as suddenly as she did. I am sorry for your loss and hope that you will find peace with this in time. You have a wonderful family and are obviously deeply devoted  to them as seems evidenced at your greetings website. Which by the way is very nicely done. May life always be good to you.\n\nBest Wishes Always
296907
I know exactly how you feel and yes it is normal to feel sad and maybe even a little angry that she had to die in a such a terrible tragic way especially being a young mom... I lost my friend in a car accident a long time ago and still think about her often she was too young didn't even have a chance to have children and she would have made a great mother. But the pain does start to go away eventually and you should just try to remember the good times and if possible try to be their for the children she left behind and tell them what a great person and friend she was to you and everyone else.... That way no one will ever forget her....
612887
Who are you to end your life without loved ones by your side? Do you feel you are that much of a loser that you should die alone? Does anyone deserve to die alone?\n\nThis isn't about getting ten points from you. This is about the rest of your life. I fed my Dad the last three meals of his life. I was in the hospital room when he died. The first time since my puberty that we got along, was when I was there for him when he got the news that he was dying of cancer, and I was there every day from there till the end. He found out, finally, what kind of good kid he had raised. He had his flaws as a father, but those flaws, instead of causing emotional damage to me, made me a stronger individual. Strong enough to weather the storm when my brother could not.\n\nApparently, you think that the best is behind you. You have been offered a new start. No matter how long you have, you have someone to be with to the end of your days. She loves you. Could you love her? Does it matter if you don't? She's a caregiver. She's like the nurse that falls in love with the patient. Someday, she'll have her sob-story to give to anyone who will listen about the true love that died on her. You, on the other hand, will have someone there FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! It's a marriage of convenience, so to speak. And you deserve it. Be honest with yourself. Don't you deserve it?\n\nOh, and a friend of the family (my family) is in the process of curing Hepatitis B. So, if that's your illness, a cure is in the works at Mayo Clinic, just a few hours northwest of you. Just in case, I thought I should tell you that. And I'm VERY serious. He has Hep B, and his immune system is, well, immune to it. He's getting better, when he should be dead by now. It's one of the best cures since Jonas Salk, and it's happening right before our eyes.