I have been dating a man for 6 months.  I have been divorced for the second time, for 6 months.  I am 55 and he is 61.  I love him.  I feel like I am in love for the first time.  He has asked me to go to Los Vegas with him (his company benefit).  Do you think it is okay to leave my 17 year old son alone?
203791
I agree with the first two gals.  Have a neighbor keep an eye on the house and you can call to check on him.  Make sure to set the ground rules before you go because I remember when I was 17 and my parents went out of town I was ready to do some hard partying.  Keep in mind that is highly likely with a 17 year old.\n\nGood luck!  :)
594522
If you go through life always making choices for what's best for you in life based on what others around you think is best then you're never going to live your own life. 1-1/2 years is no significant age difference as long of you are mature enough and old enough by parents' standards for dating. If this guy makes you feel as special as you say he does then why would you let the ignorance of others keep you from your own happiness?
50402
Im 29yrs old and speaking as someone older i have this advice for you. Leave age out of it. Your older than legal age so it is not of concern. How do YOU feel about him? Really. if you love him, see where it leads. make sure he treats you right!! I had a friend who was 19 at the time and married a guy 29. they just had there first child - still very much in love. it depends on the situation. one step at a time. see where it leads and make sure he treats you right.
354312
Your question brought tears to my eyes.  Your life sounds like mine when I was 20.  My so called boyfriend and I are 5 years apart also and we have a child together.  Your fiance sounds just like mine years ago. The life you are living is a hard one, I can feel your pain.   I left my boyfriend several times because of his controlling crazy ways. My friends werent good enough, he didnt like me to go out, he was jealous of anything and everything.  And he accused me of sleeping with anybody and everybody (male, female, dog, cat, if I looked at it I was sleeping with it).  He couldnt hold down a job either.  He was a good father also.  Remember men like this make good fathers because they are CONTROLLING. I used to think is this all there is for me like you do but trust me its not.  You can take your child and raise it by yourself.  I raised 2 kids at your age by myself.  Trust me this man is only going to drag you down.  Here I am years 15 years later and I am STILL going back and forth with the same man.  Only difference is now he has changed he is no longer that controlling jerk he used to be.  But it took 15 years to get here. And that is only because he matured in some areas but in other areas he is still a jerk.  We dont live together so why am I holding on? I am working on myself now to figure that out.  My question to you is.  Do you want to wait 15 years like me for this man to finally treat you with the respect you deserve? I can see your like me, you need to save yourself from yourself.  I thought I was in love, funny thing is I still do, but I also know what is best for me.  Men like this never change.  Mine changed his controlling ways but only because he had no choice.  I have figured out through the years that guys like this are always going to find a way to hurt you.  The hurt never stops.  Don't say you made your bed so you should lie in it.  No one deserves the kind of treatment you receive.  I really think you will be able to make a good life for you and you child.  I did.  I am successful and have 2 great kids.  Funny thing is now "jerk" wants to settle down.  But the past is some thing you never forget.  Especially when he is still doing little stupid things that hurt me.  Like I said the hurt never stops.  I would love to give you strength and advice to help you through this because I can sense there is probally more to your story just like their is more to mine.  Dont think you are being selfish.  That was my problem years ago.  I put everyones happiness before my own.  Only sacrifice you need to make is for your child, remember that.  Your child needs to be raised in a loving argue free environment.  It is going to be hard.  Beause this guy has ahold of your mind, more than a hold on your heart.
413692
No you are not wrong!\n\nIf they are separated then he has no business spending that amount of time under the pretense of visiting his son that he has on some weekends.\n\nMy ex tried hanging out at my place and even though my boyfriend lives with me, he would still try to get me to mess around with him. He has been re-married for 10 years and still tries to get me to "get away" with him.\n\nThere is a reason that your man hangs out at her house and I doubt that it is the kid. He is going through the motions of still living with her and it is wrong of him to be doing that if he has any consideration for your feelings.\n\nEveryone here is saying "trust him" and "he should spend time with his son"\nWell dear, you can not trust him because he failed you when he told you he would stop and he has the chance to spend time with his son and does not have any excuse to be at her house.\nTrust is one thing...denial and blindness are another!\nYour relationship already has a poor foundation...why keep building on it?
114390
I am in that situation right now. I had a one night stand and got pregnant, which I was told I could never have children. The guy and I got together but we weren't in love. We made our bed so we are lieing in it. It isn't our son's fault that we didn't use protection. Besides I am happy I had my son. We feel that even though we are not happy, in order for our son to be whole with a happy life, that we are sacrificing our happiness. Divorce is really hard on the children and being raised by a single parent is sometimes difficult. All my son's friends are being raised by a single parent. Most of them come to our home to eat dinner and get dessert which they don't get at home. They hang out at our house cos their parents are out on the weekends trying to find another mate. One has gone down the wrong road, the other misses home cooked meals, the other one misses his dad doing father-son things even though there is visitation. If there isn't any abuse involved, I would say stay until they are out of high school.
145076
Age isn't the issue here... it's the maturity levels involved.  He wants a sweet young thing.  What happens when you become older?  Ask his ex-wife.  I learned the hard way, that some men objectify the women they care about.  In other words, they view them as objects or possessions, so they don't feel so bad when they get rid of the old to make room for the new.  Be careful.  You are just starting your life and I'd hate to see you ruin it so early.  Older guys are O.K. if you are old enough to have some life experiences to help you along.  You have never had an 8 year old and what about college?  This is the best time to prepare for the future.  I'll say a prayer for you.  Have you dicussed this with your parents?
668713
well, i'm only 13 yrs. old, and i'm kinda not married, but i don't see anything wrong with that either. unless you had kids with your ex, you should be fine.
440535
There's nothing wrong with it, especially if your feelings are genuine, but keep in mind that you could get hurt pretty bad given you start up a relationship. He could use you, or date you for a while but then flat out tell you that he's uncomfortable. Six years is not that big of a difference, but even age differences like that could result in some professional frowning-down on his part (like if he has a big corporate job and they find out he's seeing someone younger). But like I said, six years isn't that MUCh of a difference to be worried about. I knew someone who was about 19 or 20 and she dated a 36 year old guy, but they broke up because of the age difference.\n\nI just read your edit...I have to tell you that twenty is a whole different world from fourteen. So like I said, be careful!
601330
Serious question here, and lots of things to consider.  Let's see if we can sort through all this.\n\nFirst of all, you say you've been together for seven months.  I wonder how old you and he are.  The red flag that jumped out at me is that you are both still living at home.  These days, I know that can mean anything from 19-29.  But if you don't have a steady job (preferably a career and a vocation), if you don't have your own transportation, and if you don't have financial independence, marrying is not a good idea.  He also needs to have a steady job, a vehicle and financial independence.  \n\nThat you are having second thoughts is a good thing.  He sounds like he still has a ways to grow up if he's still trying to leave home.  You sound like you have a way to go yet toward financial independence if you are living at home too.  When you say that you want to have little flings and talk to other guys, though, this tells me you are not ready for marriage because your heart is not truly in it.  You need to keep dating and work on your education, your job skills and your life management skills.  All these things are coming along, but don't sound quite developed enough yet.\n\nAlso, you should never have to pressure someone to marry.  A marriage proposal should come out of the blue with no pressure at all.  That someone feels the need to pressure someone else says that there is a power struggle going on, and that's a very unhealthy way to start married life.  \n\nThere is such a word as divorce, because there are many, many "starter marriages".  No matter your religion or personal beliefs, 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce.  And divorce is a hard but positive thing ultimately, because there is no point living miserably.  Divorce is hard to go through, but people survive it, and go on to thrive afterward.  Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, things just don't work out like we plan.  People grow apart, want different things, change and life throws us curveballs to boot.  \n\nEnjoy your single life for a while longer yet.  You may want to keep seeing your boyfriend, or you may want to re-evaluate the relationship and see if you want to stay with him or move on.  Don't be afraid to move on.  Be more afraid of getting into a rut or becoming too fearful that you'll never find someone else.  Nonsense!  With six BILLION people in the world, no worries about finding someone to date and/or marry ultimately.\n\nGood luck with this.  Cheers, K
356917
you're 20, it isn't too late and you aren't too far in the relationship to end it. that's never a good excuse-so many women lean against it too. you would be selling yourself short. picture yourself in 20 yrs, i don't think you'd look too happy.\n\nalso if he has young kids he shouldn't be dating anyway, he should be taking care of his children,, because it sounds like he's being a little irresponsible and those poor kids will probably have people coming in and out of thier lives and that's not fair.\n\nyou can love him from far away, but you should be better with yourself.
488264
The numbers of years difference would not be so bad if you were 33 and he was 48. At 18 you are far too young to be involved with a man that age.... He's lived and you haven't. You have dreams and he should already achieving his... Too many differences to over come. yeah he might treat you very well...but you will come to resent him eventualy and angry for having wasted your time.
334327
Reading some of the replies you got here today you got a lot of good advice.  How is your relationship ? That should be the first thing you think about. Does he feel obligated or quilted by you to stay around because of your daughter? Do you say things to him like if you don;t stay here you won't see your kid?  Does the only time he pays attention to you is when & if you can get him alone in the bedroom ? Girlfriend, if your answer is yes to one or more of hese above questions you don't have a good relationship.   Its just an obligation thing..\n\nJust because you think you want to have sex all the time does not qualify you as a sex accident or even a nympho.  Darling if he ain't intrested in anything your trying then you better move on.. Be careful out there & use protection at 21 you don't need another kid or any dieseases. \n\nPutting your child in front of the tv for entertainment ain't to healthy either.  Maybe thats what he is uncomfortable with.. Why not ask him . Plan a date night, get someone to watch your child for a couple of hours, go out so something fun together, you never know he just may want to stay home & have sex.. Some people can't relax when they know their kid is up , maybe doesn't like to get interupted during sex or have the kid walk in on you or start crying.  Nothing like a good crying to ruin a good hard on.
579407
If he is your ex-fiancee, why is he still your bf? Doesn't the word EX imply that there was something that is no longer there?\nThere is a difference between you saying 'he leaves you alone on the weekends' and 'go out .. every once and awhile'.\nSorry, but these are two complete different things.\nAt the end, I'd say, nothing wrong if you would like to go out occasionally, but you have to realize that Ex means it's over.\nAnd he at 21 surely wants to enjoy his life and gather more experience before committing himself again.\nSo what about you also moving on and getting a new life? Does this sound like a feasible option for you?
121992
No i think that is perfectly fine!!! Well i would think that when me and my better half got together i was 20 and he was 29, 3 years later and we have a awsome strong relationship, i was ready for something serious to plant my feet into and so was he, we had alot of things in common, i mean yes there are times when i think wow hes really been around alot more then i have and i can feel a little bit intimidated, but in the long run im thankfull he has those experiances to help guide our steps, I think he has come to believe that im never going to be perfect, even though i really try to do everything well, im not completely at his level on thinking, he has more life lessons to reflect on, but i dont think its a problem when we both discuss everything and keep the lines of communication open, just like any other relationship, my best friend is in the same boat, her husband is 10 years older then her and oddly enough shes the more responcible one, i dont see why any one would think its wrong, now if you were 25 and she was 15 there might be a huge responce to you sick mo fo lol but i dont think there is anything wrong with you liking her, ask her out, she might be into older guys, and with good reason, guys that are 20-24 are enough to make you want to puke, they only want one thing, they havnt figured out yet theres more to life then a nice set of boobs lol they dont know how to deal with money worth a crap, they only look out for themselfs, where older guys have alot more figured out, theres so many more perks to dating a older guy i could go on forever, more or less your more established at 30... id say go for it :) you have nothing to lose
355509
It sounds like your relationship is great but one thing that worried me - you said you were worried his family wouldn't like you - you should meet them first, and make sure he meets yours first.  \n\nWhen I first started reading your post I had my doubts, BUT \nI don't think the age difference matters in your case.  In some it does, but your relationship does seem more mature.  People always think I am too young also.  I'm 19 and getting married next summer too.  I love this man and he is my best friend and my life partner.  We've been together since I was in middle school and we've grown up together and are still growing together.  I think it's amazing to find a love like this when you are so young.  Don't worry about what everyone else thinks - count your blessings that you have something that some people NEVER find.  \n\nJust be sure you have the same goals, and plans for the future.  For example, in a few years you are going to want a son or daughter with him also.  I am sure you love his son like your own but the time will come when it will drive you crazy that he is not your own and you need to make sure he will be willing to have more children.
123070
14 is a hard age to understand.  But, if he has know your fiancee all these years I think he should know who is best for his mother.  As for your ex, your son is at an age where you can tell him why you divorced his father in the first place.  All kids want their real parents back together.  I think you just need to really explain the problems that you had with your ex and how this new man in your life is who you truely want to spend your life with.