I want to travel but she has kids and I don't think I want to play the father figure for her kids.  I mean I love the kids and all but this relationship does not fit in with my life plan.
202599
If you honestly feel as if the relationship is something you can't handle, then you should get out. Just be sure that if you do decide to leave her, make sure she understands why you are leaving. You're leaving not neccessarily because of her kids, but because you aren't ready to be a father figure and you'd like to travel. Make certain she understands this and be sure to use "I" statements so as to not put her on the defensive side of things.
125223
Well one thing is certain - you are going to have to get the hell out of there for your sake and the sake of your kids.  This guy sounds like he has the maturity of a seven year old, he is pure selfishness.  Sure he wants to go with other girls, but I bet he'll sit around drinking beer, playing with himself and watching TV.  You're better off without him.  You obviously have a lot of love to give, and you want love in return - you're NOT going to get where you are - so you have to face up to that and move on.
69008
Children of any age resent any "outside" interference from sources such as yourself in their lives.  They always consider that maybe, the parents will return to each other and they will be "one happy family" once again.  And, if by chance, your "man" was widowed, the kids think of you as the "Wicked Witch of the West" trying to replace their mom.  After 2 years, I would think you'd have a better hold on everything, but it appears maybe you and the "man" hasn't really sat down and discussed these matters for the future. But you state, its "your feelings toward the children" that you fear, not their feelings toward you?  Evidently, you can't accept the children and only want kids between you and your man.  Now that's a major problem and if I were you, and can afford it, I'd seek professional help on this matter.  And if you can't afford it, maybe the welfare people in your state might assist in financial matters?  I'd find out ASAP and get this problem either corrected in my own mind, or split with this guy knowing you will never accept his children as yours.
404069
I personally think you have made a smart move and are taking responsibility for what is yours. I would NOT stay with or talk with the ex girlfriend. (why mess up what you are trying to recreate). I can understand why you were made at your wife, but she is your wife and more importantly the daughter is yours.
535855
Most people would say dont stay because of the child, but I disagree. I love children, I think they deserve both a mother and a father in their lives and lets face it. Most men dont see their children that often when you are separated. I'm not assuming this, i'm speaking from experience. She has no job, or money, if she would leave now it would be selfish of her for not putting the childs needs before their own. If she feels very strongly about it, then i suggest she get it together so she can make it on her own, but until then, she should stay put and try and communicate with her mate to make it better. Communication is the key here.
109172
The age difference could be a problem, but I would be more concerned over ALL the other differences between them. \n\n1. He sits around and depends on others......She is going to get fed up with always being the one that has to be the "giver" in the relationship. Relationships are supposed to be give and take, that doesn't mean that one gives and the other takes all of the time. She is going to need someone that she can depend on too, and he doesn't sound like someone she can count on to be there for her when she needs him.\n\n2. He loves sports more than anything else in the world......That is just weird! Why would she want to be with someone that loved sports more than her and more than their children? Since sports are on pretty much all the time, she would never have his time or attention and neither would their children. Again she would be the one responsible for everything while he watched sports.\n\n3. He believes in being friends with the kids with hardly no discipline......... You can't raise children using NO discipline! Children want and need discipline. It gives them structure and makes them feel they are loved. Children need guidelines. Without rules and discipline they feel lost and they feel their parents don't care. Unfortunately children don't always realize this until they are older and will resent her any time she attempts to discipline them. She would have a very hard time trying to raise their children without his support as far as discipline. They would use his lack of discipline against her and always go to him to get whatever they wanted and she would be placed in the position of having to be the "Bad Parent" to their children. Being friends with your children is fine, but they also have to understand that there are times that you have to be their Parent and not their Friend.\n\nI think the relationship you describe is doomed to failure. My advice to her would be to move on and find someone who's ideas and values were similar to her own. I am not really sure what she sees in him to begin with. It would be impossible for me to love someone with the selfish traits you described. She may want to take a look at why she would want to be involved with someone like him in the first place. I think she needs to love and respect herself more and wait until she meets someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated. This relationship would offer her nothing and she should want better.
33806
You need to decide if your in this relationship for the long haul.  If you are then his kid is a major part of his life and should be in yours.  While I know you can't be on call all the time you can help him make arrangements for getting around.  He is also going to have to adjust his life for a few months and realize that there may be times when he simply can't be some where.  However, he should always be there for his kid and if your committed to this relationship so should you.
302941
Sounds like your a great guy! Keep on making her smile and doing nice things for her! Also it is very nice to involve her kids also if they arent your own! I have alot of respect for men that are caring and loving towards their woman and their kids if theres kids involved! Keep on loving her as you are!
194138
Well to be honest he should have a problem letting you go see your family with your kids it is obviosly that he doesn't spend enough time with you and your kids because of his work, put it this way talk to him and explian that you don't undertand why he is not letting you go visit your family & ask if he doesn't trust you I don't think is that becuse you can even cheat if you want in your home town you don't have to travel tell him that you would like to be trust as you trust him or do you have any problems on not trusting him because he travels, get together and have a serious talk about this besides you are traveling with your kids 7 & not alone like he does good luck & hope things get better so you can travel & see your family .....
665929
Do what's best for your kids first and what meets your financial needs. Follow your heart with respect to the rest of it and see how things work out. Sounds like you have an amicable understanding of each other so who knows, this could be a good thing more than you realize.
457667
Family is very important and no one wants to move away from their family.  However, sometimes circumstances change.  Then we feel like we have to "make a decision", when there really isn't one to make.\n\nYou, your husband and your children are your "family".  This shouldn't be a "choice" between your family or his.  If you and your husband "love" each other and want to be a "family", there is no choice to make.  You owe it to yourselves and your children to do whatever you need to do to make your family work.\n\nSometimes we have to put the needs of our family above our own personal needs and desires.  That's what being a spouse and a parent means.  \n\nOf course your parents are going to be "hurt", they are your parents!  They can always visit, so can you.  The same is true of your "friends".  The wonderful thing about "friends" is you can never have too many and you can always make "more"!\n\nSome people never get a second chance, you owe it to your children to give yourself one.  Children need both their parents.  If you don't go, you will always wonder if you could have done more, and by then, it may be "too late".\n\nBest of luck.
31293
Keep the faith & keep wanting. There's nothing wrong with wanting "that someone special" to love you & your children - I know. I'd say keep going slowly with this gentleman & give it time. It really is great when you can begin as friends & the rest follows because when the years pass & ya'll settle down from red-hot passion, you've got a friend who will make you laugh & smile & will care for you, the real you. Also, I think it's great that you are keeping your children in the picture, part of the package. They're the most important things in your life & they are (believe it or not) affected by whomever you bring home, too. Stay strong & keep true to yourself.
351092
WOW sounds like a real jerk, didn't even want to pay child support. I hope you got your increase.\nAnyways that is unsafe for your young children to travel alone. I would no, tell him your feelings on this and hold to it. \nWho are these people taking them to the long trip to the airport? Can you trust them? If you don't know them, then no. What about on a plane unsupervised, heck no, they are too young.
446671
On special occasions you both should be together one way or the other. I do not see how it makes sense for him to spend it with her if you are the woman in his life now. I understand that he might want to spend it with his baby, but she should also want her baby to spend it with its father and therefore make a sacrifice and spend it with the two of you.\nI would prefer it if you’d go there with him even if you do not really want to, but you have to make a clear point that you both are committed to each other and to your relationship and if she wants him around, she will have to accept you as well.
373500
She seems selfish to me. Tell her if she loves you for who you're really are she should not pend your marriage on that condition. I would have understood if she were from a different religion or something and having worries about your kids' religion but that's not even the case.\nAsk her how she'd feel if you make a similar demand! She is probably used to getting what she wants by putting pressure on people, but she should not treat you that way.
509480
If you don't believe that she is a threat to the well being of your children, perhaps its time to let the past go. I know that it's easier to say then it is to do, but little ones need both parents in their lives. Don't think of her as the person responsible for ruining your relationship, instead open yourself to the idea that it's one more person who will love your children. And come on in the end it is only the kids that matter.
463210
wow dude looks like it's time to move on......sounds like you really care for her just not her daughter....you need to find another girl with no baggage..and start fresh.