a. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.\nb. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.\nc. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey\nd. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.\ne. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: with gun in lap: L.A.\nf. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.\ng. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.\nh. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle.\ni. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on the brake, throwing a McDonald's bag out the window: Texas.\nj. Four-wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.\nk. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.
199304
I have been to most of these places and there is much truth in what you say although there is some cross pollination, The only thing I would add is the old man with a hat in the right lane pacing the car in the left lane in Fl.
514881
9. He persuaded his son "to" give up smoking...\n\n10. I’d like to apply "for" the sales manager position at your company\n\n11. As he is afraid of flying, he never travels by plane\n\n12. The tree was "the" biggest one on the hill.\n\n13. He works eight hours "a" day at the library.
123717
1.Yes\n2.No\n3.Maybe\n4.Ohio\n5.Wyoming\n6.California\n7.Pennsylvania\n8>New York\n9.Texas\n10.Somewhere over there\n11.In the sea\n12.By the lake\n13.Johnny Cash\n14.Marilyn Manson\n15. You bet\n16.Hang up your phone\n17. A green little lizard\n18.Hawaii\n19.Lousiana\n20.North Carolina\n21.South Carolina\n22. number 22\n23. 5 times\n24. 6 times\n25. 7 times\n26. 8 times\n27. 9 times\n28. 10 times\n29. 11 times\n30. just for fun\n31. next year\n32. 2006\n33. 2007-2009\n34. number 44\n35. X=4\n36. X=5\n37. 2010-2019\n38. Question Mark\n39. spam\n40. exercise\n41. no more\n42. only if you stop harassing the chickens\n43. nope\n44. 45\n45. 46\n46. 47\n47. 59\n48. 125\n49. 4,572\n50. my name is dsgc05\n51. i'm on number 51 right now\n52. Because I feel like it\n53. &*^^^%\n54. money\n55. cash\n56. camel\n57. Egypt\n58. Cairo\n59. Aquafina\n60. a clown\n61. a horse\n62. monkey\n63. giraffe\n64. zoo\n65. snake\n66. bear\n67. marker\n68. pen\n69. eraser\n70. chalkboard\n71. school\n72. book\n73. 89\n74. cd\n75. xbox\n76. playstation\n77. nintendo\n78. funny\n79. kill them\n80. ()()()(()\n81. tuna\n82. cod\n83. whale\n84. dolphin\n85. pig\n86. skunk\n87. rabbit\n88. roger\n89. disney\n90. mickey mouse\n91. bambi\n91. walmart\n92. giant eagle\n93. kmart\n94. ebgames\n95. bonton\n96. mall\n97. thirty three\n98. music\n99. smashing pumpkins\n100. nine inch nails\n101. dvd\n102. cut it\n103. piracy\n104. philips\n105. sony\n106. microsoft\n107. hell yeah\n108. open the refridgerator\n109. now\n110. across the ocean\n111. 666\n112. never\n113. always\n114. it's simple\n115. water\n116. friday\n117. thursday\n118. wednesday\n119. tuesday\n120. monday\n121. sunday\n122. saturday\n123. march\n124. april\n125. may
403055
1.Lone Ranger's Horse.                          SILVER\n2.Motto for an oil well-drilling company.  BROMINE\n3.A ridiculous prisoner.                            SELENIUM\n4.What do you do before you brand a steer. EUROPIUM\n5.A popular red or pink flower found in pots. GADOLINIUM\n6.The kitchen on a Roman ship.                      GALLIUM\n7.A roll shaped like an automobile.          CARBON\n8.A person from Troy who only goes out after dark. (nitrogen?)\n9.What s fatally wounded person says.   IODINE\n10.Boards that have nailed down to walk upon.  BORON\n11.The ruler of Davy Jones' Locker.                   NEPTUNIUM\n12.What kings, queens, princes, and princesses do.  PHOSPHORUS\n13.A name for a person who talks too much.     BISMUTH\n14.Upper class of Troy.  HYDROGEN
307153
LMAO!!!! Hey PD that was a nice one!!!!\n\nHeres one for you - \n\nA police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: \nOfficer: May I see your driver's license? \nDriver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. \nOfficer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? \nDriver: It's not my car. I stole it. \nOfficer: The car is stolen? \nDriver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. \nOfficer: There's a gun in the glove box? \nDriver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. \nOfficer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? \nDriver: Yes, sir. \nHearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: \nCaptain: Sir, can I see your license? \nDriver: Sure. Here it is. \nIt was valid. \nCaptain: Who's car is this? \nDriver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. \nThe driver owned the car. \nCaptain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it? \nDriver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. \nSure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. \nCaptain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it. \nDriver: No problem. \nTrunk is opened, no body. \nCaptain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. \nDriver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too.
534582
back end of a honda crx\n\n9th green next to the hole and flag w/ blanket spread out by moonlight\n\nmiddle of winter in a sleeping bag out in the woods\n\nher grandmothers living room while her mom, dad, bro and grandma slept just down the hall\n\nbathroom of friends house while party was going on\n\ncountless times at work on all tables, flour bags, etc\n\nwhile driving down the road...this one is hard
376734
1. zero, zilch, nada\n2. Only on my severed one\n3. Sometimes I just decide not to pick it up!\n\nRum shots!
448040
taxidriver\nidlyitw\nor\nwwtdd
209796
#1 fulcrum\n#2 you would veer off the road and lose control
496846
Rule 1:  I felt my legs get weak when I first glimpsed my true love in the little town of FORTITUDE, Pennsylvania.\n\nRule 2: I submitted my RESIGNATION as a Grammar teacher on June 1, 2004, due to my inability to use commas correctly. \n\nRule 3: Rock, I think it's FUTILE for me to try to do your homework for you.\n\nRule 4: Hawaii, our 50th state, experienced a large earthquake of MAGNITUDE 6.8.\n\nRule 5: The THEME park had a roller coaster, a water slide, and people dressed up like cartoon characters that harassed you wherever you went.\n\nRule 6: In a few moments, you'll see how my yelling "Fire!" in this crowded room will result in sheer PANDEMONIUM. \n\nRule 7: Yes, the Firefox Anti-Plagirism plug-in will DETER students from copying their answers from Yahoo Answers. \n\nRule 8: I turned to Rock and said, "By being very OBSTINATE about your assignment, I've made it through all these stupid comma rules. Now my brain is fried and I feel like I'm going into a comma, oops, I mean coma."
233242
1 - Virginity like bubble, one prick - all gone.\n\n2 - Man who run in front of car get tired.\n\n3 - Man who run behind car get exhausted.\n\n4 - Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.\n\n5 - Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.\n\n6 - Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to  Bangkok.\n\n7 - Man with one chopstick go hungry.\n\n8 - Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.\n\n9 - Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.\n\n10 - Baseball is wrong; man with four balls cannot walk.\n\n11 - Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on  earth.\n\n12 - War does not determine who is right; war determine who is left.\n\n13 - Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.\n\n14 - Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.\n\n15 - It take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.\n\n16 - Man who drive like hell bound to get there.\n\n17 - Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.\n\n18 - Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.\n\n19 - Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.\n\n20 - Man who fart in church sit in own pew.\n\n21 - Crowded elevator smell different to midget.\n\n\nA mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined The body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an Amazing discovery: Schwartz had the longest schlong he had ever seen!\n\n"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge schlong like this. It has to be saved for posterity."\n\nAnd with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took It home.\n\nThe first person he showed was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase. "Oh my god!" she screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"\n\n\nThere was a middle-aged couple who had two stunningly beautiful teen-aged daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and sure enough, nine months later delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way that he could be the father of that child.\n\n"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered." Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"\n\nThe wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."
12767
Only New York, New Jersey and Washington, D.C., have passed major legislation directed at multitasking drivers. In each case, the prohibition is confined to hand-held phones.\n\nSome states have taken limited action, such as forbidding cellphone use in a school zone. A dozen others, including Georgia, are weighing restrictions for drivers 18 and younger.\n\nAAA attributes 330,000 highway injuries annually to the devices.\n\nThe National Highway Traffic Safety Administration asserts that headsets and speakerphones are no less dangerous than hand-held. It regards conversing, not dialing or holding a phone, as the risky task.\n\nTalking on a cellphone "requires more intellectual energy," attorney Morain said. "It doesn't matter whether you are holding it to your ear."\n\nHope this helps.
97504
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish \ncarriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, \nbecause attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign.\n  "Energy efficient vehicle.  Runs on oats and grass. \n  "Caution: Do not step on exhaust.
572813
1. footsteps 2. coffin 3.The child was born before 1776 4. Mount Everest, it just hadn't been discovered 5.Clara lives in the northern hemisphere. 6. World War I wasn't called "World War I" until World War II. 7. The word "and". 8.They fall in the same year every year, New Year's Day just arrives very early in the year and Christmas arrives very late in the same year. 9.The lady was a Justice of the Peace. 10. One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills. 11. Only once, then you are subtracting it from 20. 12. An hour and a half IS 90 minutes.13. "one word"\n14. Penguins live in the Antarctic.15. Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow.16. You have to take a picture of a man with a camera, not with a  wooden leg.17. They were husband and wife. 18. He can't because he's dead. 21. incorrectly 22. 23:03 23. None, the boat rises with the tide. 24.White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the Northpole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear. 25. Three. It seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition. So... half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three. 26.Sloppy is a goldfish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him. 27.None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of dirt. (And those of you who said 36 cubic feet are wrong for another reason, too. You would have needed the length measurement too. So you don't even know how much air is in the hole.) 28.Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket first. The 30 degree F water is frozen, and the ball would stop when it hit the ice. 29.\nThe time and month/date/year are 12:34, 5/6/78. 30.An umbrella. 31. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.32.The temperature. 33. a shadow 35. Counterfeit money.36. A man with a wooden leg. 37.  Takes over the chicken, returns, takes over the corn and returns with the chicken, takes over the fox, returns again for the chicken. 38.The horse he left on was named "Sunday" and the horse he returned on was named "Tuesday."
637830
License plates.\n\nKingpin, pin, peeon.
467756
1.(c) 2.(d) 3.(b) 4.(a)
310146
1st one: That is one of the most unintelligent quotes I have ever heard. Who ever would do that is purely ill.\n\n2nd one: I could live with that we will fight but do not expect me to go down easy.