A man is married and has kids with his wife, and all of a sudden learns he has another child from a long time ago....\n\nThe woman sues him for child support. But if the man makes the child support payments, he wouldnt have enough to support his wife and children. His wife cant work because of a disabilty. And their one of their children is on very expensive medicines and sich.\n\nCan the court lower of drop the child support case if it means putting the mans family and a financial risk? If he paid the child support, then he couldnt afford to pay for the children he has with his wife, and their expensies. What should he do?\n\nNOTE: He didnt find out about this other child until AFTER he was married and him and his wife had children alreday.
212193
The courts will follow the law.  But there are also always exceptions.  There are laws regarding the order of the priority of the obligation to support a child.\n\nDo a google for your state and "child support calculator"  You will get a page that will help you see what the law says.\n\nThere are several things to consider.  \n\nFirst, HAVE A PATERNITY TEST DONE.  It costs about $100 and can save you tons of money if the child isn't yours.\n\nSecond, oddly enough, in the eyes of the court, there is only a small amount of money they have to leave you to support yourself and your family.  You will be able to look at the laws if you do the google I told you about.  Or google for your state and "child support guidelines."  But the standard is that you can expect to pay one weeks take home pay per month in child support.  And that is normal, not excessive in the eyes of the court.\n\nBut you really need a good lawyer.  Not knowing about the child does not remove your obligation, but your situation provides you with some compelling arguments for decreased child support to be ordered.  Plus there is the question, why did the mother wait until now to request child support?\n\nWhen you prepare for court, make sure you have details of your family budget, all your bills, the expenses for your children, etc.  Come up with any paperwork you can.\n\nBut I will warn you, if you have a nice house, nice cars, etc., the court is not going to have much sympathy.  It sounds dumb, because logical people can see that you worked hard to be able to provide your family with nice things and that you didn't budget for the expense of the other child, but in the eyes of the court, that child has a right to a percentage of your money, like it or not.\n\nGood luck.  And as expensive as it may be, get a good lawyer. It may save you tons of money in the long run.
467158
His income is not (it's household income), but his contribution of child support is, as that is income that your mother takes in.  My advice is to make sure that you should use whoever's income is SMALLEST, because that will make you eligible for more federal money.
30790
You are not required to pay support for children that are not your own or your legal responsibility.  You may want to consult a CPA or do file separately (depending on how much he actually owes in child support arrears).  You also, on another note, will want to advise him to begin making payments because he could be liable for a garnishment of his wages up to 25%.  Could your household survive on 25% less in earnings from him?  Best of luck with a difficult situation.
490239
Let the slug go.  Why do you want a man who has no character, who would leave his children behind for a new squeeze?  \n\nFile for full custody of the kids and file for child support.  Get tough.
81253
sounds like mother is no good. if he is an adult why is dad still paying child support? money should go to son automatically! maybe son should go to FOTC and dispute that case. let me know if you need my help. ntjack02@yahoo.com. and good luck god bless you.
661032
He needs to go to court and seek custody or he will have to pay the child support.  Buying diapers is not considered support by any court.  He doesn't have a say on how the money is spent unless the child is not being properly cared for.  If he doesn't pay the support he will have his wages garnished.  He can also go to jail.  Seems stupid to risk this because of petty jealousy.  This is a good reason why people should be married before having children.  It's a lot less trouble.
92156
The kids cannot drop the case or go after it themselves.  The mother supported them and she is due the money.  If the government supported them then he has to pay them.  My mom got her final child support payment from my father for my brother when he was in his late 20's.
411610
Patricia--if you're disabled and raising two children (not your own?) you should apply for every service your county has to offer you--ie food stamps, medical assistance, care taker supplements or cash aid, if available in your state.  The state will be compelled to collect partial repayment from the father (and mother if these are not your children.)  You won't have to wait for a deadbeat to pay--the state sends you the aid and collects partial repayment.  Your child should also be eligible for benefits off your social security if you haven't been collecting that already.  After you've applied for EVERYTHING your eligible for THEN go to your child support office and give them any information you have on the children's father (and mother).  If you do have an order for support and he is only making partial payments he still owes you that money.  Agencies are reluctant to take people who are 'making an effort' back to court because it encourages those who REALLY are trying to quit.  If he is just gaming the system--demand your case be enforced and he be taken back to court and held in contempt.\n\nGood luck!
51643
Where in the world do you live?  I have never heard of a man being able to kick a wife and 3 children out of their home.  Have you talked to a lawyer, are any of your children also his biological children, if not you could have problems, bless the little children who have to go through emotional pain caused by care less adults.\n\nBlubla
579131
I have joint custody of my son also.  My Ex is primary and I'm secondary.  In the settlement, I get my son every weekend.  I should have also put in there that I get him during my vacations.  This would have made it so that he spend over 105 nights a year with me.  If I had done that, then child support would have been cut and I would also get to claim him in my taxes.  The funny thing is that my son does go with me on vacations but it isn't in the papers so I'd have to refile the child support and who knows what would happen then.  So I figure it's better just to leave it alone.
641468
Imagine 32% of YOUR pay after taxes going to an ex (what I pay).  Imagine that she hasn't worked on a full time payroll in 12 yrs.  Imagine that your sending home $2000-2400/month and your told it isn't enough even though your not only sending that but also paying for half of summer camp and paying for all the dental work out of pocket.....  (we are not talking about alimony... just child support)\n\nI imagine that if you were giving ME 1 out of every 3 dollars you earn after taxes you might have a different view of the money and how it is spent.\n\nIf my ex weren't living on the support I pay for my children I might have a different view, but many women subsidize thier standard of living with the "kids" money.\n\nNow ask yourself why men are the way they are about support...
72533
Honestly, your best bet is probably to set up an appointment to meet with a divorce lawyer in your state if you want good advice.\n\nIn AR, child support can be based on imputed income.  In other words, it can be based on a parent's ability to earn rather than their actual earnings.
514936
Wow!  You are in for a battle.  Call the child support office first.  If they can't or won't help you, you'll probably have to get an attorney.   If you're really owed the money, don't let them keep it.   It CAN be done.   Good lluck
552218
Sounds like it is a win-win situation to me.  If your current husband is willing to take them on as him own then let him.  All that really matters is that you are there for the children.  If he is a dead-beat, and it sounds like he is, then let him off the hook.  Child support is nice, but your children's feelings, emotions, and mental state are more important.  Let their step-dad take up where their real dad never left off.\nMake the choice to let him sign it all away, sounds like he will never be there for them anyway.
458917
If you trully believe 100% that this man is the father of your child then whatever happens I would make him pay!\n\nHunt him down, drag him through the courts and make the bastard pay for his child.\n\nHe can move to Timbuctoo if he likes, I would still make him pay. he can deny responsibility and say he's not the father as much as he likes, but I'd still make him pay. This man is threatening to move/demand DNA tests to intimidate you- he's trying to discredit you as a woman not to mention what he's doing to his child and thats very unfair. Why should you care what happens to someone who stoops as low as this? Why should you care if he struggles or not- He is in the wrong not you! \n \nI'm sure you don't want or need his money but that is not the point. He has a responsibility to this child and even if he refuses to accept he has a moral duty of care (which is very convenient don't you think?) he certainly has a financial responsibility which he should not be allowed to walk away from.\n\nIf I were you, I would demand that he TAKE his DNA test- let him prove that he IS the father of your child and allow him to look like the complete heartless arsehole he really is- What have you got to lose honey?\n\nRemember- you are the one holding the baby, you are the one who is facing up to the loving responsibility of being a good mother and you are the only one who can hold this man accountable for his actions.\n\nSorry, but I do not agree that ANY man who has children should be allowed to simply walk away from their legal responsibilities.\nNever mind the fathers rights- what about the rights of their child? \n\nHunt him down- get everything- make him pay and if you really don't need the money, then put it in trust for your son so that he can use it when he is older.\n\nThere is no shame in making this man pay.. after all he felt no shame in sleeping with you to create a life- he must now be held accountable for his actions!\n\nPlease don't let him away with this- you have the right to be able to life your life and bring up your son with a decent standard of living-the money will help.\nI think that you have had a very lucky escape- Men like this are the scum of the earth and you deserve better!\n\nGood luck.
494090
Talk to a lawyer, If he has to pay child support.  As far as your son is concerned, Your ex obviously doesn't care.  If he was a good man and father he would make an effort.  I hope your new husband is a good man and is trying to make an effort.  Any man that doesn't care about his children or his wife's children is not a man.  \nBe there for your boy he needs support and a father figure, whether it's your father or husband he needs a father figure.  Not a replacement, he already has a dad, even if he is a dead beat.
69008
Children of any age resent any "outside" interference from sources such as yourself in their lives.  They always consider that maybe, the parents will return to each other and they will be "one happy family" once again.  And, if by chance, your "man" was widowed, the kids think of you as the "Wicked Witch of the West" trying to replace their mom.  After 2 years, I would think you'd have a better hold on everything, but it appears maybe you and the "man" hasn't really sat down and discussed these matters for the future. But you state, its "your feelings toward the children" that you fear, not their feelings toward you?  Evidently, you can't accept the children and only want kids between you and your man.  Now that's a major problem and if I were you, and can afford it, I'd seek professional help on this matter.  And if you can't afford it, maybe the welfare people in your state might assist in financial matters?  I'd find out ASAP and get this problem either corrected in my own mind, or split with this guy knowing you will never accept his children as yours.