I have been living with my boyfriend for 6 yrs now...here in a couple of weeks i am going to move and live on my own.(breaking up )part of me is happy to do this cause this relationship is to controlling...but another part of me is scared cause i sometimes think that i won't make it..is this normal?
207704
Of course.  Fear is our way of making sure we plan and cover all areas of a problem.  It keeps us safe.  I say just enjoy your new found freedom.  Express yourself, and maybe keep a written diary of what you are feeling, and how you handle it.  This will help you control the fear.  Don't let fear win though.  Remember it's just a tool to make sure we have covered all the bases.  Use it, don't let it use you.  Good luck and have fun.  Living alone will be well worth this small amount of discomfort.   P.S.  Pepto Bismol works wonders to settle the stomach.  If you get rid of the physical aspect, the mental ones don't seem so bad.
571768
If your boyfriend is not going to be bothered that you move n with someone else to "see" how he deals with it, then this relationship is over.  Perhaps the flame has died.  It happens sometimes.  You two need to sit down and talk about your relationship and where (if anywhere) is it going.  It is time for you both to be open and honest and make concrete decisions regarding your lives.
213038
Sweetie I moved in with my fiance before i ever graduated. We have been together for about 2 years and we are so happy together! It's hard to be in a relationship. Times get tough, but you have to pull through together. You need to be ready for the hard times, but i don't think age has anything to do with it. I mean, come on, married two years, and i'm only 18!!!
404161
sounds normal?  relationships that adapt to what's going on in your life are pretty healthy i would think.  is there something else that's bothering you making you feel like something's wrong? x
158753
I don't think I'd do anything quite yet.  You should probably wait and see what happens. I understand you're worried but if your relationship is strong, you 2 can work this out.  Some people can make long distance relationships work out, some can't.  He says he's taking you with him, do you even want to move? That's something you'll have to decide and that could give you the rest of the answers you need.\nBest of luck to you!
515754
So you're hangin in there out of fear of being alone?\n\nHmmm, really bad basis for a relationship.  No one else can make you happy.  You're the only one who controls that.   He's obviously not producing positive feelings in you so time to walk away.\n\nYou do need to find something though that interests you (solo) so that you can learn to feel comfortable in your own skin...ie: being alone, loving yourself for who you are, etc.  \n\nThere's nothing wrong with you.  The sooner you love and respect yourself, the less you'll choose (unconsciously or otherwise)  to be bothered by him.  Sounds like your feelings aren't so mixed.
264989
My opinion, if you both feel that strongly about moving across the country together, why are you not getting married first?  Marriage should come first, in my opinion.  I once moved south in the past to be nearer to a male boyfriend but I chose to live in my own home.  You will have to make your own choices.  Best wishes =)
162405
Questions you need to ask yourself -\n\n1) How long have I dated this guy?\n2) Do I want to move?\n\nReally your not married only dating.  Do you think that you love this guy and will be with him forever. Not to be too negative but what if you move and break up in a month?  Is your relationship strong that this won't happen?\n\nPersonally, I think you need to stick with your career for now.  Let him go for a few months and see how his company is going.  If your relationship is strong, you can survive a few months.  NC isn't that far from VA.
454462
I'm glad to be living with my fiance now, but there have been a couple of times in the past that I wished I was living alone. Once was when I was living with friends who had different standards of cleanliness - they are wonderful friends but I felt like I ended up doing more cleaning than was precisely fair. Another time I was in a relationship that turned abusive right at the end. Living alone was far preferable to that!
80945
well my girlfriend moved in a few days after she met her guy. they just /knew/.\nnow there will be some 'faults'... days when you're stressed and put the toothpaste where it doesn't belong... as long as you talk it out like adults, it can be worked out.\nI love coming home to someone.\ngood luck to you both
90232
Hey chicky,  I know how you feel.. me & my bf fight constantly too.  Sometimes I wonder if its normal or not.  I get really sick of it too sometimes .. occassionally to the point where I dont care if the relationship ends.  But we are still together.  Are you living together?  My bf & me only moved in together 6 months ago.. we used to fight before that but not as bad as when we moved in with each other.  I think maybe you guys need to do stuff apart every now & then just so you can have your own space.  Think about it .. if you had a sister who you saw every day forever you would get sick of her too & fight with her.  Its the same with your man.  Try not to fight over the little things that dont mean much,  think about what it is that you are fighting about & ask yourself.. is it even worth breaking up over this?  If you answer No then get over it.. be the one to end the fight first.  Even if he keeps going dont let yourself get worked up, its hard trust me but it will only make it worse if you are both going at it.  Tell him you dont want to fight & that your going for a walk or something & wait for him to cool down then you will talk to him about the issue.  Remember that anyone can fight, but its the people who's relationships that last through the fights that are the strongest.
532098
I moved in with a guy after 7 months before.. I think it ruined our relationship.  I will never live with a man until I am married now.  It seems crazy to commit to someone that much when you haven't decided if you like them enough to spend everyday (rest of life) with.  Esentially that is what you are doing.. spending the rest of your life together... so it is putting way to much into the relationship. \n\nI would suggest moving out and still dating.  You can take a baby step backwards.. He might think it is a good idea too.  It might save your realationship.\n\nGood Luck :-)
237470
you are making an excuse "can't keep...living through him."\nif you wanted to be with him you would go with him.\nif you don't want to go overseas, don't.\nit seems completely reasonable that you simply prefer to stay where you are.\nyou are ready to settle down but feel awkward about pressuring him to do so.
291147
im sorry\nthe same thing happened to me w/my x. He would move out anywhere from couple days - month. \nwell eventually i had enough we are not together. \nleaving for while wil not solve any problems at all either.\nwell good  luck to you i hope things work out for you!!!
354312
Your question brought tears to my eyes.  Your life sounds like mine when I was 20.  My so called boyfriend and I are 5 years apart also and we have a child together.  Your fiance sounds just like mine years ago. The life you are living is a hard one, I can feel your pain.   I left my boyfriend several times because of his controlling crazy ways. My friends werent good enough, he didnt like me to go out, he was jealous of anything and everything.  And he accused me of sleeping with anybody and everybody (male, female, dog, cat, if I looked at it I was sleeping with it).  He couldnt hold down a job either.  He was a good father also.  Remember men like this make good fathers because they are CONTROLLING. I used to think is this all there is for me like you do but trust me its not.  You can take your child and raise it by yourself.  I raised 2 kids at your age by myself.  Trust me this man is only going to drag you down.  Here I am years 15 years later and I am STILL going back and forth with the same man.  Only difference is now he has changed he is no longer that controlling jerk he used to be.  But it took 15 years to get here. And that is only because he matured in some areas but in other areas he is still a jerk.  We dont live together so why am I holding on? I am working on myself now to figure that out.  My question to you is.  Do you want to wait 15 years like me for this man to finally treat you with the respect you deserve? I can see your like me, you need to save yourself from yourself.  I thought I was in love, funny thing is I still do, but I also know what is best for me.  Men like this never change.  Mine changed his controlling ways but only because he had no choice.  I have figured out through the years that guys like this are always going to find a way to hurt you.  The hurt never stops.  Don't say you made your bed so you should lie in it.  No one deserves the kind of treatment you receive.  I really think you will be able to make a good life for you and you child.  I did.  I am successful and have 2 great kids.  Funny thing is now "jerk" wants to settle down.  But the past is some thing you never forget.  Especially when he is still doing little stupid things that hurt me.  Like I said the hurt never stops.  I would love to give you strength and advice to help you through this because I can sense there is probally more to your story just like their is more to mine.  Dont think you are being selfish.  That was my problem years ago.  I put everyones happiness before my own.  Only sacrifice you need to make is for your child, remember that.  Your child needs to be raised in a loving argue free environment.  It is going to be hard.  Beause this guy has ahold of your mind, more than a hold on your heart.
440715
I think it is totally unacceptable but at the same time I'm not in your situation.  At the end of the day you are still going to be your own person and make your own decisions.  If you do decide to carry it out then I wish you the best of luck and I really hope it doesn't blow up in your face.\n\nGood luck!!!
207461
We define "normal" between ourselves in relationships. She has to weigh all the factors in the relationship to decide whether or not to stay. I couldn't be with someone like that unless the conversation was fantastic.