I have been seeing this guy for about 9 months now. We have had our ruff patches here and there, some serious some not.\nI have caught him lying a few times, but he has never cheated on me or anything. He loves me a lot but I am having questions about loving him. I mean I do love him it's just I don't know if I truly am IN love with him.\nWe see each other all the time, and we spend so much time with him. I like spending time with him. We even take breaks from each other every now and then. \nBut he just asked me if I wanted to marry him and I don't know what to do. My family doesn't like him that much but I just can't walk away. What can I do?
206682
Everyone lies at one time or another.  It's just human nature.  I'm sure if you took an honest look at yourself you'll see that you may have told little white lies yourself.  Now, hold on...I'm not accusing you of anything.  I'm just saying that unless you catch him in something big, it's up to you whether or not you want to trust him.  Also, if you are having doubts of whether or not you're in love with him, that's a serious red flag on whether or not to marry.  Your relationship with him should not depend on whether or not your family gets along with him, but it would behoove you to ask them why they feel the way they do.  Sometimes, people on the outside can be your best gauge, especially if you keep getting the same feedback from them.  I suggest that you not walk away until you are sure of what you feel, and don't get married until you are sure either.  Good Luck!
362198
I love him...but? I don't think you do love him in a way that will sustain your relationship. I think you know that too. It's time to move on.
583373
I am in this very situation. I pestered, and asked, and begged and compromised time and time again. He also knows exactly what I want, and exactly how I feel about him. He doesn't know that I love him though... \n\nI think that over a nice dinner, or just kicking back and IF the mood is right, you should just ease into a conversation about the status of you guys' relationship. Find out FIRST what it is he wants. Does he want to be with YOU? Or just want to be with your Kitty?? I am not saying this out of offense, I am saying this out of love for another woman because I am going through it right now. My heart is broken because I have been sleeping with someone for the past 3 years not knowing if we had a "relationship" or not. Find out what he wants. Do Not tell him you are in love with him. Let him know you care, and you think of him often, and all that mush. But do not tell him you love him. Do not use the L-word. It will scare him, especially if he doesn't feel the same or hasn't even considered how he feels for you, or where he wants to take things. \n\n I myself had to take a huge step back from  "my" guy. It hurts so bad to love someone and to not have those feelings coming back to you in return. Please do not fall into this hurtful emotional trap. \n\nFind out where he's at in terms of y'alls "relationship". What does he want? Is he willing to take things up a notch, and commit to you and you only? If not, screw him. Because all he'll do is keep screwing you. And in the end, I can tell you, it hurts more than words. \n\nIf you feel to, you can write back. If he's not ready for what you are ready for, GET OUT!
541066
If you love him, then you're not using him. If you juist have him around because he's caring and generous then you are. I don't think he's so afriad of losing you as he is a sweet natured man who loves you and appreciate you enough to treat you like a queen. How lucky you are!!
295550
Let me tell you a little bit about my own experience: \n     I tell my girlfriend all the time, very sincerely and sweetly, that i love her.  I do spontaneous things, like buying flowers or candy or some other gift, for no reason at all.  And i sometimes just hang out with her, with no obligations or intentions; just hanging out to be with her.  Yet, she sometimes gets insecure, and doubts me.  It has never been because of something that i have done, just that that is how she is.  Lately, because of this, i have been sensing those things, and i have found myself being emotionally hurt by her, and the little things that she has been doing.........  I love her more than you could imagine, but because of her doubts and insecurities, i have been getting hurt, and i now have doubts as to whether the relationship is fit to survive.  \n     In your case, if he has done nothing to bring about these feelings, then you should probably have no worries.  Innocent until proven guilty.  I know, from personal experience, that it starts to hurt when you signifigant other doubts you and your motives/intentions when you say "i love you."  It is extremely painful because you say those words to someone, expressing what you truly feel inside (not in all cases mind you), and then you are essentially "slapped" in the face when that person questions you.  If your boyfriend is seemingly sweet and sincere, then he probably really means it.  if he respects you as a person, and is supportive of you, then i would say that he probably means it.  Good luck to you, and i hope that i have helped.
432928
Seems like he's still a bit emotionally attached but not ready to jump back into a relationship. I'm not sure if this means he's in love with you still, or if he's just having trouble letting go, but either way he seems just as confused as you.\nIf I were you I'd confront him. See what his deal is, and hopefully you can work it out.
205926
you have to revaluate your relationship with this person. If you are truly in love ….well it would be a horrible mistake to leave. However, are you sure it is not just because you want this to work which is making you feel as if you are in love?? Talk to your family about this problem and ask their advice (since they know you better then me). Work it through with this guy and see if there is a compromise. Make sure the sacrifice is not only one sided otherwise it might haunt the relationship in the future. Make sure you know this guy and understand who he truly is because people can seem different over the net or phone??. Think and ask for guidance from those closest to you. And most of all discuss it with all the people which will be affected.
606445
Just because the "L" word came out doesn't really mean anything Bad. Like you said you guys have known each other for awhile already!\nAnd telling him that you haven't felt that way in long time... \nWell, that's like telling him that you are not sure if you are ready for that step in your relationship with him... But, this could be a good thing! If he really loves you ... you will know! \nHe will still show interest in you and you and him can get closer in your relationship. Just don't rush it..  I have been married three times and all of them we're great at first! Ya' know? Just can't wait to be with them... all you think about... and that's great!\nAll I'm saying is to take your time if you want it to last... \nPay attention to the bad sides he may have and see if you really want to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH THIS PERSON...\n\nI don't think you really pushed... if he loves you he will stick around.    If you think you pushed... just go talk to him.\n"What should you do now?"  \n(1)Take your time...\n(2)Let the love grow...\n(3)Spend time together and talk<<< \ncommunication must be open. \nSharing your feelings with the one you love is very important!\nIf you are serious about this guy then try these steps and God Bless...\n later.
170252
It depends, you say you love him and he loves you right?? Well that should be enough for the both of you to cut down on somethings and make time for eachother, if work or whatever else it is, is more important than seeing the one another then maybe there is no love there, if you both can't make time for eachother then whats the point of being in a relationship? Thoses are some questions you should be asking your self and he should be asking himself.  I don't ever want to see anybody break up or be sad, but it sounds like you being with him makes you sad just becasue you can't even see him when you want to.  I would say you would have to go with your heart, I think that you already know the answer to this question, problem is, admitting that!\n\nGood luck
182632
Are you really in LOVE with HIM?  Or is it the idea of new love and that feeling of new love, that you're in love with?  Especially being a married woman, after a little bit of time you lose that new love/lust euphoria.  Perhaps there are some things that you are missing in your marriage that you are looking for in this new guy.  I know it doesn't answer your question, but perhaps you should work on the marriage that you're already in and see if you can improve it, because you must have LOVED your husband at one time
134623
you say you love him and trust him, but you also say you don't know what to do.  if you trust him, then there isn't anything you need to do.  if something is bothering you, then discuss it with him, and if whatever is bothering you isn't resolved, then move on.\n\nif he love&#92; you, he shouldn't be doing things that make you wonder.  if you trust him, there wouldn't be any doubt.
338219
yea, ok, stay with him, maybe, just maybe, one of these days in a fairy tale land far away he will finally wake up and come around.\n\nlast thing i remember about love was that you cared for a person and didn't let them down.\n\nif you are content with being in a relationship with a guy who cares more about his money than you and your KIDS, then so be it, i don't know what to say except hang in there i guess, eventually he should come around
469316
Honey I go through that all the time with my bf of 4 yrs. you may have picked the wrong time to asked. Questions that you want to ask like that catch him when your alone together in person, that way you can kinda know his answer through not only his words but, also his actions. Remember, eyes never lie. But, as far as you doing anything wrong you didn't. Men are like this, they like for you to tell them what they want to here yet, when you ask them a really deep question such as yours pertaining to the relationship most of the time over the phone you really can't get any good answer because nine times out of ten they are occupied by not only you but the t.v , radio , magazine etc. So catch him on the question when you are actually with him in person and see how he reacts. Hope I helped :)
525014
6 years is a pretty long enough time to know whether or not you want to marry someone. I have observed from numerous relationships that guys keep some women dangling; and then they will meet one particular female that they just know right away that she won't be allowed to get away. I think you two need to have a real heart to heart talk, but in person. Long distance relationships are extremely difficult, especially being faithful; emotionally and physically. Be honest, tell each other how you feel.  I wonder if you guys seriously voiced your goals in the begining of your relationship. I'm guessing that you didn't expect to be waiting this long. Don't be afraid of speaking candidly, this is obviously making you uncomfortable as well. Life is way too short. Maybe there is some fear on his part that he hasn't expressed to you, something he thinks he would like to achieve before he settles down. It's good to have plans, but sticking to the exact order of those plans can cause you to miss out on some really great life altering blessings.  Ask him if something happened to you and caused you to not be available to him , if he would regret not taking that step to marriage. Sometimes we don't realize what we have until we no longer have it. Listen to his verbal and non-verbal responses. If you still don't feel confident and satisfied with the decision made you may end up waiting even longer. Are you willing to put your life on hold for someone who may just not be mature enough for that type of commitment any time soon?
25913
Be straightforward with him. Get him when he isn't busy and tell him you need to talk to him. Just say "hey buddy, you know that I love you. But I need to know if you feel the same way about me. If you don't please tell me, because I am not going to waste my time loving someone who doesn't love me back." Just say something similar to that. Good luck girl...
339882
If your heart is telling you no don't stay with him always fallow your gut feelings.If he's someone you can't stop thinking about and you miss him when he's only gone for a short time then your in love with him no dout about it.If you know he's changing for you and wants to do better then he's in love with you too cause he's changing for you.I say don't live in fear you're in love this guy and he loves you too.He loves you so much that he's willing to change for you.He may have messed up in the past and did some hurtful things,but he wants things right again if he's changing his old ways for you then he means it this time and dos'nt want to mess things up again.I say stay with him and give him a second chance show him how much you love him by doing it.I hope that things work out the best for you and him.
301394
your heart sounds like it knows something isn't right. you have time in with this guy so you have to part in steps. first stop having sex(it is possible) tell him you are not feeling good in the relationship and you need space. stop initiating contact. see what he does. he should work hard to prove to you he loves you and wants this to work. if he doesn't start trying harder then tell him you need some real time apart. don't date new people get to know yourself better. only no sex and time will really help you see clearly what's going on