If she is still married maybe she wants to keep a younger man around just in case as a second choice or for any other reasons?  And even that she was talking about serious relations & feelings  before,now she doesn't. Can't figure out what is really on her mind. But i need to as soon as possible,so nobody will be hurt. Please help!
213705
Sorry to hear the situation you are in. I hate to say it, but somebody IS getting hurt. Just because her husband doesnt know YET doesnt mean it wont kill him inside when he finds out. \n\nAs for you, I think she is just using you...she would have left her husband long before you came around if she didnt want to stay. Her man is probably just not fufilling her needs, either emotionally or sexually...you filled that void for her, but I am betting you are not as important to her as he is. What will likely happen is she will eventually leave you all together and go back to him.\n\nI am sorry if this sounds brutal, but sometimes it is hard to see the truth when you are IN the situation. I dont think she is trying to play games with you nor is she trying to hurt anybody...just trying to fill a painful void with a caring man. If it were not you, it would be someone else. I really hope you dont get hurt here and sever this relationship; there IS a good, SINGLE woman out there for you who will want ONLY you. Not all of us play games. Take care\n\n------------------------------------------------------------\nYou are very welcome ;) Good luck in finding a nice woman!\n------------------------------------------------------------\nOh! That makes it SO hard. I thought I had the one too, not that long ago. I was with him for 2 and 1/2 years and even was engaged to him and trying to have children. I found out that since the day we met, he had been lying to me consistantly and had even created a profile on a dating web site days before he purposed to me.  \n\nLike my ex, this woman is telling you all the things you want to hear and you are completely devoted to her. The fact that you have to question it means your head is trying to tell you it is wrong, but your heart is arguing. You are trying to find some execuse for her actions, some way to beleive she cares for you as much as you for her. Trust me, your heart is making you lie to yourself, dont get caught in this trap! She doesnt really care for you...only herself, or she wouldnt be hurting the people she is SUPPOSED to be caring about (her husband OR you). Tell her you love her too much to play second string to her husband...you NEED to communicate here. Give her an ultimatim; say him or you. That is how you will find out the truth. I know you dont want to pressure her, but if she loved you, it SHOULD NOT have even been a necessity. It is time for the games to stop.\n\nYour heart is invested here and you will get hurt one way or the other...only you can decide how much. Even if she DOES decide to leave her husband (which I doubt) she will likely cheat on you in a few years (once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater). The longer you are with her the more pain you are going to suffer! I feel it would be best if you broke it off and NEVER spoke to her again...then you can tend to your broken heart. Trust me...I know your pain. I wanted to kill myself when I left my man, but things will get brighter and you will see this woman DOES NOT deserve you! There WILL be someone better for you. Heal your heart and give it time. You CAN make it through this.\n------------------------------------------------------------\nI know :p Thanks. I wouldnt say that I know a lot...I have only been in one relationship. What I do know is based on a few things; that one relationship gave me more experience than I could ever have wanted, friends and their experiences and watching WAY to many talk shows :p My personality helps too, I guess...I am empathetic, can see all sides and I have really high morals. Ultimatly, you need to do what you feel is right and try not to let your heart rule you (as you would be supprised what you can convince yourself of just to follow your emotions). I really hope things work out for you! So many men are players and it is good to see one that goes against the rule!\n-----------------------------------------------------------\nYou are very welcome. I would be happy to provide my two cents on an
147390
Myself personaly would not have said it if it were not the case.  I am shy and would be glad he said he thinks about me.  It sounds like she may be a little shy also.  Try talking more to her about what you've been thinking.
276999
Why would she want to be in a relationship with someone who treats her that way? She should let him know how she feels, ask him to treat her like he cares. If he refuses, then she'd be just asking for more emotional hurt by staying in the relationship.
218566
Eight years is a long time to let go of. maybe she just needs some space. Try separating for a while. It seems that you both still have feelings for one another. Seems like she feels lost. I know, I'm going thru the same thing with my husband. I feel like I've lost myself. I'm not the same person I was when we first met. Give her some time. I'm sure she'll re-evaluate your relationship.
644956
Who cares if she loves you or not! Her actions scream, her words are quiet. Don't be a fool...you deserve far better than this, and if it is like this at this point, do you really think it will go anywhere but DOWNHILL ? Wise up, send her packing (I am not a hearless person and usually pick the opposite side), for this one is divorced for a very good reason...and you are finding the reason. You do NOT need to have a significant other, you will be fine on your own, and ... guess what! It won't be long before you find (0r are found) another who will appreciate all you do, all you are, and all you will be. This one will never be that person. Good luck to you both.
272085
OK, in the perfect world, if you want to have a healthy marriage, you should not contact this other woman and just go on living your every day life. And that is just fine and dandy, if only your mind didn't keep drifting away towards this other girl. Maybe it keeps drifting because it's a new and exciting part of your life you don't have anymore, since being married can get to be "boring" or just not as adventurous as it was in the beggining. That is totally understandable. \nWhat you didn't mention, is that if this girl is still contacting you? Has she given up on you? If she has, then it means that she just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing, she's not interested in you in any other way. \nI think you will always wonder "what could have been", until you have some closure in this part of your life. If you do decide to contact her again, you should meet face to face and tell her what she meant to you and how it felt to let her go. But remember that you are a different person now, as is she, in totally different circumstances.\nI don't think an honest luncheon to clear the air, and to put your mind and feelings at ease would be that bad.\nAs long as you know where to draw the line, and as long as you understand that you are a married man with different obligations now.\nGood luck man. Tough call.
617638
simply regretting. i think she still loves you and keeps reminding you that you have a wife. good luck and please give a second thought.
260789
She could have been in a relationship or just getting over one without lying.  If she was even close to him any she might need a breather before making an attempt to another one.  However, from what you're saying, she's definitely interested in you.  I would hang in there and keep on trying if you're really interested in her.
462108
too childish...maybe she's just confused about his feelings for you...overwhelmed that she has found something so good to be real...\n\nif you're serious with her...i say talk to her and give her some time to think it over...but please not too long, there are a lot of girls out there who will be so glad to take you in..
154585
Honestly she's trying to get your attention about something.  She probably doesnt really want to split if she doesnt have a good reason.  We women want your attention and when we dont get it... we say what we can to get to you... try talking it out, I'm sure she's got a lot she wants to get out.
470801
Is he wealthy? What do you think the attraction is? At 20, she is old enough to be making decisions for herself.....you've given her guidance, but now she has to make that decision.\n\nWhat would worry me is WHY she is attracted to older men. Often it is because of a previous molestation by an older man. Is that a possibility? If so, I would suggest some serious counseling by a professional....NOT clergy type....they would just continue the problem.
420726
If she's been married such a short time and is even considering cheating on her new husband....just wait it out.  There is no way that marriage will last.\n\nOn the other hand....do you really want someone who would make these kind of knee jerk decisions?  \n\nYou may be soul mates, destined by the stars and fate...yadda yadda.  If that's the case, you'll know soon enough and I wish you all the best.  Maybe she made a hasty mistake and you two will be together for the long haul.\n\nI would keep the lines of communication open and see where it leads.  Tread carefully and good luck!
241588
why on earth would you get that she's been cheating out of that? she was trying to express to you that she is worried about the lack of sex, she's afraid you are unhappy and unsatisfied with the situation and she wanted you to know that it is because she is tired and not because she doesn't want you sexually. didn't you hear what she said? why are you looking for a hidden agenda? i hope you aren't like that all the time or your marriage is going to be hell. when women talk they say what they mean, just listen and you'll have the answers  you need. she was trying to let you know that she cares about how you feel about this and you hear that she's been cheating???? wtf!
638299
I would give it some time...maybe 'til your divorce is final? Then maybe ask her to lunch at work or something, just friendly-ish, and see how she reacts. Maybe she is seeing someone already now and doesn't want to hurt you so she hasn't told you? Or it's possible she is bothered by the marraige thing...it sounds like you have been being pretty laid back and taking it slow with her, which is good. Sometime though you need to find out for sure how she feels about you; the best way is to tell her how you feel about her! Ask her out for a drink or dinner after work sometime maybe, and simply tell her you are still very attracted to her, and see what happens.
640155
You have to now figure out if this is good for you.  She apparently doesn't know what she wants.  Either she's fearful of the life that could include being with the same person until death, or she can't handle being faithful.  She's hurting you, but does she realize it?  Have you ever just sat down with her to figure out what the deal is?  I'm sorry to say that I think a divorce would be the best thing.  She obviously has some issues, and no one can get through to her.
139210
Don't pressure her. Bring it up, and have a calm honest discussion about it. See how she feels, and respect her decision no matter what.
269631
Be patient.  Maybe she felt that yall were going a little fast and decided that she needed to slow things down a little bit.  She does have kids to think about you know.  Back off a little but not completely and stick around just slow it down a bit and see where things will go from there.