I am 19 and I've been depressed for pretty much my entire life.. I had a rough childhood and was never the "prettiest girl" in my class.. well now I'm having a really hard time thinking for myself. I don't think i'm pretty, I think that people don't like me... i'm so shy, i worry too much about what people think about me, and i just do bad socially. I have a few close friends who I can talk to about anything, and i'm really thank ful for them, but i still need help with teh confidence department. any ideas? and if you're just going to insult me, find someone else to insult cause that just gets annoying!!!
204622
I remember being 19 and not feeling confident.  That's okay, the confdence will develop as you mature.  Stay focused on the positive aspects of your life and continue to reach for your goals and dreams.  Be patient with yourself.  You sound like an intelligent person who will end up on her feet.
130685
Erin, when I was your age, I thought about it a lot! Never actually tried it directly, but I did a lot of crazy things that could have killed me.\n\nI always felt like I was alone in the world. Like no one understood, everyone hated me, or worse that I didn't matter to anyone. I thought if I died, it wouldn't matter. I also felt like all my problems would be over. \n\nBut the fact is, life has problems. We were made to work through them. Without problems, we wouldn't grow. Did you know that a plant that grows without any wind pushing against it grows weak and spindly? (You should try that as a science experiment some time!) Just like a plant, we need tough times to make us stronger.\n\nThe best thing you can do is stop focusing on what's wrong and start focusing on what life will look like once you've gotten through whatever's wrong. Ask yourself, "How is this going to look to me when I'm 18? 25? 40?" Picture yourself through the problem and living just the way you want to live. Whenever your mind wanders to bad thoughts, go back to that picture. Write it down even.\n\nThen, TAKE ACTION!!! The best way to beat depression is to GET BUSY!!! \n\nExercise, help someone else, do some research on how to fix the mess you're in, just DO something. Lack of activity causes the mind to linger in places it ought not be. You have to engage your mind in something that excites you. \n\nAlso, start telling yourself something positive several times a day. Don't let bad thoughts run your mind. YOU take control of your mind! Positive thoughts will sound silly at first, but it doesn't matter. Your mind believes what you tell it. SERIOUSLY!!!  :-)\n\nYou are special and important to God and to this world. Whether you choose to believe that is up to you. You may be struggling with those around you right now. Maybe your parents or a boyfriend, but don't give up. Love yourself enough to get through it. You will be stronger for having survived!!!
223674
Dear Rebecca,\n           Take heart and know that you are not alone in your struggle with depression. I have the same problem too and understand how you feel. Please know that you are okay and sound like a very likable young girl. If your "friend" can't accept you with your problems as you are, then I'd say she isn't much of a friend and perhaps you should try for other friends who will appreciate you for all that you are. I am sorry that you have to be hurt this way and my thoughts go with you but also realize that there are people who really will like you as you, Rebecca! Take care of yourself and stay sweet!
533315
Sweetness, what you're missing is confidence in your own self. No one can give it to you; it's the sort of thing you have to gain by yourself. Keep telling yourself that you're fine, that people are just "looking" and not judging. Look in the mirror at yourself and tell yourself that you are fine, you are marvelous, wonderous, whatever just so long as you beleive it. I was self-concious in high school too and that's what I did. I figured I could let other people knock down my self-confidence or I that I wouldn't. I opted for wouldn't. Good luck and Blesings.
450213
i would suggest you see a psychologist or psychiatrist on a regular basis.  you just go in there and talk to him/her and you can hear yourself talk and get some issues taken care of.  one thing that helped my self-esteem issues was i started thinking positive.  for instance, when you wake up first thing in the morning, listen to the sounds the birds make.  enjoy the smell of coffee as it brews.  smile at your loved ones.  these ideas for thinking positively may seem weird to you, but I'm telling you, they do work.  and last, but not least, believing in the Lord Jesus Christ is absolutely wonderful.  He takes care of me everyday.  all you have to do is acknowlege that you have been a sinner and ask Jesus Christ into your heart and He will come to you and take care of you from then on.  don't laugh, it's true.
373039
Hey, Who the heck cares that you have crooked teeth... c'mon! stop being so depresive! Be more confident in yourself, there is no point in living unless you are having fun. Stop thinking so much about how you look, instead think of how good life is to you. Please stop, if you want more support and more advice then email me at caloanarnaven350@yahoo.com.. but stop caring so much about how people look,  live life well! You are not useless... someone in the world, even if its your dog, loves you sooo much, and it doesn't care at all how you look, so stop yourself! Live life well... even if your parents don't buy you braces soon, and if they do then ROCK ON!! don't be so sad because you think you look bad, instead be happy and just don't care much about it... ! \nLook on the bright side of your life
166019
Hi\nIn a way this thread is a good experience for you.\nThough you are undergoing truama, and you need support and consolation, some times it is also important that you should know all good things in the world are not sweet. Often many good things come with a bitter taste.\n\nSome one answered you using blunt words. But have you noticed the emphasis? Even that person want you to get a professional advice and come out of your present depressed state of mind. \n\nThe world is like that. The world want to give you very very good things. But when the world give you a very precious thing ,  often that will have a bitter taste. Some time it may look ugly. \n\nNow as an intelligent girl like you, it is yoru duty to take the good things carefully removing the bitterness. Or some times some medicines need to be bitter in taste.\n\nBe realistic. Try to ignore bad, hard, painful expereinces. Hey, you have got a lot of wonderful friends now to help you and support you. But dont you think, you need to support them back tomorrow? YOU SHOULD!! Do you think we are never depressed? Who will support us when we need your help? \n\nCome on! Dont waste time. Go and consult some one now. I am not familiar with UK system. But I asked a UK citizen. That person told me about "samaritan", which obviously you know. But I dont know who can actually give you help from near. \n\nPlease understand the beautiful rose flowers often are found among thorns. Let us not focus on thorns. Let us see the beauty of the Flower with shining morning dews.  These are the beautiful moments in life. After a few years, you will find all these bitter experience as an opportunity to broaden your world outlook and improve your personality. It is bad that these horrible things happened to you. But it is good that (I am talking from my experience) that these horrible things happened to you in an early age. Tomorrow, you will have a pleasing personality. These bad experience will give you strength to be compassionate to others around you. You will never be a mean person like many others. \n\nBut right now it is not time to think of all these. And I know you are under extreme pressure and can not swallow any of these. As many suggested here, you need professional advice. Suggestions and opinion from friends like us is not same as a professional help from an expert. Please understand this. Again, we can not stop the production of some "hormones or chemicals" in our brain. Again I am not suggesting that you need to take medicines. I am not an expert. You need to consult an experience professional to undestand what is more important to you.\n\nBut what we are all sure about is, that, you need not worry about anything. You can definitely come out of this stage. Most people, who normally find difficult to come out of their depression is those who lacks "insight". I am sure any medical expert or psychologist will readily agree with me that you have good insight. That is the key.
99878
Judging by the questions you've asked in the past,you seem to be very self-centered. In other words,you appear to be a "Snob". Although I'm sure you've taken that as a compliment,most females (like yourself),tend to think you are better than others,simply because of your looks. It has to be nothing more,because (sorry),but you've proven not to have any brains. You wearing dresses,has nothing to do with not having female friends. (News Flash!) Girls wear dresses all the time!. It is all about a person's attitude. You should treat people,the way you want them to treat you. Stop asking people if you are pretty or not. Stop asking questions,that have to do with your appearance. Try asking someone how they fell today. Try helping someone with a school project,or asking your mom,to teach you how to cook. If you do something nice for someone,then maybe you will have female friends. (Note) Did you ever stop to think,that another reason you basically have male friends,is because of how you've presented yourself to them?
595173
Gosh I feel bad for you...sounds like a hardcore case of depression.  It's so easy for other people to just tell you to seek therapy, isn't it?  I have lifelong bipolar disorder, so I know how it feels to have been down in the depths of depression...thankfully for me, I eventually snap out of it and go into "happy" mode.  In my experience, talking to a therapist has not helped.  They ask me a million questions, write them all down and make me feel like a science project, give me a prescription, and send me on my way -- all for $175 for a 30 minute appointment.  I have found that when there is a constant vague feeling of depression for seemingly no reason, it is because I have suppressed that reason.  Identify the sources of your unhappiness.  For me, I finally realized that it was about three different instances in my past that had changed my mindset or my innocence in some way -- made me jaded to the world.  I'm still working on it, but I'm hoping to confront and forgive or be forgiven by the people involved.  And yeah, I've had my heart broken and I still have feelings years later, so it's perfectly normal.  If you have self-esteem issues, work on something that you enjoy and that you are good at -- don't worry if you fail at first, practice makes perfect.  Help others or be a friend.  It's almost impossible to feel low about yourself if you know you are good at something or worth something to someone.  If your self-esteem is in the dumps because you are worried about what people think of you, then don't be.  Look at people who are stupid and unattractive and have confidence -- if they have it, then why shouldn't you?  Basically, you need to recognize meaning in your life.  It's already there, you just need to find it.  All right, enough Dr. Phil crap from me.  Good luck and bless you.
156925
Please tell your mother or another adult how you are feeling. This is nothing to be fooled around with.. Depression is serious business !! You sound like you have some anger issues that you need to work out, and it is not just because your dad asked you to get a rag for the boat.. there is something big inside you that needs to come out,and that you need to work on.. you are lashing out at the wrong people, and pushing away the people you need the most.. You may need to go and talk to your counselor at school, or a trusted teacher. if your are not still in school, seek out a good counselor, or a good group that you can get into..talking out your anger helps.. believe me it does.. You have got to talk it out and not act it out.. acting it out will only hurt you and the ones that you love. and will hurt you physically and mentally.. You do NOT need to become annorexic.. nothing good comes from that.. that will kill you. and life is to short as it is.. You and only you can take care of you. you have got to go and get some help.. Do it now !! Find someone to talk to .. NOW.. Find someone with some training that will be able to help you with your anger and your depression. It will be a long hard road.. but you did not get this way in a days time. and you will not be better in a days time.. So, now is the time to start the journey to a better and a happier and a love filled life.. Blessings to you..
592067
it sounds like you have self esteem issues brought on by puberty and the idiots who seem to have so many unkind things to say to you. just because people tell you that you're unattractive doesn't mean it's true or that you have to believe it. they do it to everyone because they are insecure about themselves and if they chime in and pick on someone when she's feeling down they think they look cool. I've never seen you, but I'm sure you're not ugly. the only real ugly people are the ones who are ugly deep in their souls-- not the ones who aren't curvy or aren't thin or don't look like supermodels. also, don't call yourself dumb. if you give in and start calling yourself the names other people call you, you are just letting them win and you'll never get anywhere in life.
527268
You can't live your life trying to please others and worrying what they think about you. Just be who you are, you sound pretty confident and self assured. You go girl!
164055
Do YOU feel good about yourself?\nYes? Then don't listen to anyone else! The way you feel is what really matters.\nIf you ever think you'd like some advice, talk to someone who loves you and really cares, like your family and close friends.
545884
Do you have a close friend or a close relative that you can talk with?  Are you in your teenage years, if you are, that can be a trying time.  Maybe you should talk w/a therapist or a minister about your issue.  Please keep trying your best, and stay focused.  You're not doing anything wrong, your just searching for support and guidance.  Try to stay strong.
443018
Do not worry about what others say to you or about you. I know it is hard at your age to do this. These people don't know you and you shouldn't waste your time on them. I too was picked on as a teenager, even though I have not been through the trauma you have. I was very skinny and hairy and I was always picked on for this. I never stood up for myself, partly because I was scared and partly because my parents forbid me and my brother to ever say or do anything against anyone, even if they hit us. Now, as an adult with a daughter, I have taught her to stand up for herself and she always takes up for people who are being picked on. Just keep in mind that those who are picking on you have low self-esteem. People who are confident don't have the need to make fun of others. Also, those who have a hard teen life are usually the ones who are the most successful and the ones who have it "handed" to them can't make it on their own as an adult. Talk to a school counselor, or find an adult you can trust and confide. Maybe there are some programs to help. What about your friend's mom, maybe you can talk to her. Just hang in there. Make yourself a goal - what you would like your career to be - and focus on that. My goal was to be an architect, but I'm a nurse instead. But during high school I would draw house plans all the time (and still do at times). Lots of luck.
648070
Yes, I do. I've always had low self esteem and lacked confidence, even from a very early age for some reason. I always did well at school, I'm currently a few daya away from qualifying as a doctor, and yet I still feel useless and worthless. I feel like nothing I say is of any significance or relevance to anyone, I don't understand why anyone would like me unless I DO something to make them like me. I constantly worry about what other people think about me. I could go on and on......\n\nMy poor confidence and low self esteem led to severe social anxiety, which (since I didn't get any help with) in turn led to a severe depressive episode, with associated self harm and suicidal tendencies. I'm now slowly improving with the help of a psychiatrist and some anti-depressants, but my self esteem and self confidence remain very low. \n\nIf you can really help, I would appreciate it. I'm on Yahoo messenger and my e-mail is accessible on my Q&A page.
591697
Sounds like deep seated feelings of inadequacy... this usually passes with time... we all go through a phase in our adolescence when we doubt ourselves, self confidence comes with age and experience for most people. I myself had an epiphany while reading a book by a man named Richard Feynman, entitled "So what do you care what other people think?" and I just 'got over it'. When you stop caring what others think about you it is a very liberating feeling, you should look forward to it. Best of luck.