ive been married 6 yrs, have 2 children and sleep in seperate bedrooms with my husband, and i really dont mind it.  Is  it normal not wanting to sleep in the same bedroom with husband?
199773
are you sleeping with your kids?I did that because my son wouldnt sleep threw the night unless i was there.So I stayed in his room.I think sleeping is a personal thing.But I dont get along with my husband.So I dont really care.\n But it will hurt a marriage if you dont.And what does your husband say about all of this?Mine didnt like it at all.\nif you want to get back in bed with your husband,take a vacation at home and make the kids sleep by there self or try putting them together.A week should just about make the change work.But thats if you want to sleep with your husband
664708
All 3 of you are adults. My husband and I never give up our bed for any guest and we would not have someone sleeping in our bedroom on the floor. I would offer my guest room, sleep-sofa or cot for my brother or any guest, and if that's not good enough they can leave.
247264
Not normal to me and I've been with my husband for almost 20 years. To each their own though. I have a friend that only has sex when she wants to have a baby and thinks that this is the only time they need to have any intimate contact. Funny world sometimes.
539343
if ur flats are only round the corner i think its a great idea lol u dont have to do his housework too! i dont see why a married couple cant live apart if anything i think this will keep u happier as u wont have so many arguments about stupid things that u do when living together!!!
43298
Funny, you should ask that. . .my husband and I are having this problem now.. . .it is not women don't want to have sex. . . being married adds alot of stress its self. .. there are alot factors that add stress such as ex's(jealous ones who are plotting);finances and etc.  These things had me so stress after getting married, all I wanted is a good night of sleep. .. If you are in a marriage and there are no problems, there is a bigger one simmering. .. .remember pratice makes perfect. . .eventually, things change and stress was lifted. .. my husband can have it when ever he wants it, and I appreciate him more for understanding. . .Ask her why and then you will know where to go from there. .
453398
Wow, the answers you got so far sure cover the spectrum! I'm always amazed by those who are so quick to tell you exactly what to do, especially not knowing you or all the details of your situation. Only you know those, and only you can decide what course of action to take. I can sympathize, I'm in the exact same situation only in reverse. I call my wife my room mate because you don't usually fool around with a room mate. We just grew apart and she has nothing to do with me. Like you, I am hurt, angry and very lonely. I too struggled with this dilemma. If you're like me, the rest of your life is probably pretty good. You're just not happy, lacking what you desperately need. You sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of your marriage, your life, and everything you've built with this man. You also have regrets, many people marry thinking the other will change. When they don't, it's a disappointment. People only force change if they want to. he is who he is. For me, I've met a very special lady. I'm tired of being miserable. I believe everything happens for a reason. Being with another woman may finally help me see which course of action to take. I honestly have no idea how this will play out. As for you, you have to decide what you want out of life.
273564
My marriage for sure - seems there's never enough time to spend time together.  \n\nI also feel like I neglect my kids, while I'm doing housework.  But, I guess they COULD help me so that I get done faster & then we'd have more together time.  I don't feel guilty when I say "Hey, lets go to the show, or out to eat" and neglect housework/other things for the evening.  That stuff can usually wait!!
583843
Hi Hmy ... I read your other questions and it's obvious that you husband isn't monogamous or intends not to stay that way. The only reason why you'd be  putting up with this  is because\nof low self esteem.   You don't think you deserve any better and  are desperate not to be alone.  Perhaps at the moment you don't deserve any better. Think of what you can do to change that.. \n\nMake what ever changes you need to feel better about yourself.  It could be education,  work, even volunteer work. Whatever it is you probally should spend a lot less time here.
229045
Depends on the circumstances. My husband and I have an 18 month old so as soon as our son falls asleep (nap times included) I normally let him know that little monster is tucked away.  Some days I'm more subtle, like a few soft kisses after I've turned off the T.V.  Others I'm more direct, like walking into our bedroom in something sexy or maybe nothing at all.  Fortunately my husband loves making love as much as I do, so it doesn't take much for him to get the hint.
255356
Your husband seems to be on a second shift work schedule. There is nothing wrong with him. But when he comes home from work he isn't ready to go straight to bed. He needs time to wind down. And by that time it could be 1 or 2 in the morning. This is very normal for someone who works any shift other than first. \nPeople who don't work, or work first shift can not understand someone who works second or third shift. It's not the same amount of sleep nor is it the same quality of sleep. \nDon't worry he is fine....
499056
This is really hard. The most important thing is not treat the kids differently. They all nedd the same ammount of time from both of you but they need time with you that is just theirs individual too. It's also important that thjey each have their own space and don't feel left out. As for your husband, I would make it very clear to him that he better respect your time with your kids as you do his or he'll be finding himself a new mommy!
389521
I don't understand how married people can live in the same house and sleep in the same bed and not be able to talk.  \n\nAsk him !!!  And don't always look for the problem to be with you even if he says that it is  you.  We are always looking to blame others for our wrongs or short comings.  So ask !  And he may not be truthful at first because he maybe hiding something.\n\nBest of luck.
552595
I am a housewife or whatever you want to call it. I don't really like the term 'stay at home mom' b/c I am a wife, too. I really like that I am a mom don't get me wrong, but I really feel like that term takes away from my identity- I am still a 20's something female who really wants to do things as one, too- not just a mom. I mean I LOVE my daughter (who is 7 and a 1/2) and I raise my 5 year old step son and I have since right when he turned 2, but he wasn't even bottle broke and only said dada and ba ba. His dad was raising him alone and totally babied (is that a word?) him. He still does, but when his dad isn't home, I have taken him light years... I also have a 13 yr old step daughter who comes over every tues. and Every weekend.\n       I agree that we don't get enough credit and when I have to say that to ppl I stay at home, I always feel like I should explain myself even though I don't really feel that way. My husband really figures that since I am home then the house should stay spotless, and always look clean, even though no one in the house closes the shower curtain when they are finished- if they use any products (which they do, all day and night) they stay right on the counter. My husband starts a pile of trash on the kitchen counter instead of putting it in the can --even if it isn't full- then he wonders why the house looks the way it does by the end of his day off and never remembers that when he came in the night before he said 'Wow, the house looks great honey'. The clothes just get thrown on the floor wherever and hangers get thrown on the bed... so no matter how hard I try, the house always looks cluttered, you know , like I never bothered, when it what I do everyday and then also at LEAST one night a week, when noone is home (wed. or every other FRI & SAT) I deep clean for hours with my ipod, and you really can't tell so much of the time. If the dishwasher is empty, ppl will still not put there dishes in it, and I didn't even mention the actual doing of the laundry or that my husband changes 10 times both of his days off AND where a 2x in everything, and always wears an undershirt. We have Big towels and then somehow we accumulated quite a feww smaller towels too, well, my husband will give his son a bath and use a beach towel for the floor instead of one of the small towels, which isn't a great big deal until you multiply 4 x 7 to make at least 28 big towels a week already, so washing more big towels instead of little towels makes no sense. They take up at least 3 times more room each.\n     My step son is enrolled in daycare (he goes from 9- 4:30 and pre school is from 1-4 on wen. and fri.) a cpl days a week and that and that started back in Feb. b/c I was at a breaking point, b/c I was raising him myself, while his mom did nothing for him, never came and got him and I was being fought against in trying to help 2 other ppls' son grow and do things that were appropiate for his age. I love him like he is my own, and have taught him everything, yet he the fact that he wasn't mine was being thrown in my face when I would try and do anything towards helping him become more independent. I left for a couple days and when I came back home, I let my husband keep him there 2 days a week so I could get some piece mind and that way his mom had to pick him up 2 times a week and keep him for a cpl hours til his dad got off work, and I was hoping that the school would tell my husband what was appropriate for his age instead of me. If those things weren't going on he would be home all the time.\n\nSorry, this is soo long, but that was a great Q! b/c I thought I was going crazy!!!!
400269
I would really keep an eye on this ~ Sometimes men feel rejected or left out when there are small children around (and especially when there is a newborn or one on the way) ~ My husband did things like this and I ended up just having to talk to him about it and letting him know that it is not OK.  If you have an issue with it, he should stop doing whatever it is that upsets you.  His first priority is YOU and his children and NOT his first wife.  For him to not tell you until days later is selfish and also shows that he is trying to hide it from you.  My question would be to ask yourself, what else is he hiding?  My husband on the other hand does not do this anymore because I had to keep reminding him that his first priority must be me and the children or else he can just leave.. .Our children are more grown up and independent now, however,  If we didn't have our kids to argue about, we wouldn't argue about anything.  ~ It just takes time and alot of adjustment.  We have been married for 9 years.
296610
You don't have two personalities what you do have is a part of you that desires intimacy and affection. I think you are torn between your values and your emotional and physical needs. I have to commend you for your commitment to your marriage but how do you do it if he is so far away?  As much as you have all the best intentions I can't imagine having my husband in another country it would make me feel like i wasn't married. Does your husband have plans on coming home soon? If he doesn't and you do find the courage to separate from your husband it does not mean you didn't try to make it work or did something wrong. Unless the way you feel right now changes. If the need for an intimate relationship still haunts you, you have to seriously consider moving on so you can be whole again.
558615
You definitely need to define your relationship with him.  I think you should make it clear you are a couple and that this relationship is exclusive now and if he can't handle that he needs to leave.  This is worth fighting about because if he only sees you as dating then he believes he has the right to be sleeping with other women still and I don't think you want him sharing your bed every night if that is the case.
478409
sounds like self sabotage to me. Have you asked yourself, why you do not want to be alone? \n\nSounds like you and your husband need to make changes together. It isn't right that you arbitrarily made a decision for him, by stepping out on him. Would you like it done to you? \n\nAnother thing, have you asked yourself why you chose a married man? You know that he isn't going to leave his wife, or should. He has no business being with you, as you have no business being with him. It isn't fair to you or the other people... such as your husband, and his wife. If the roles were reversed and you didn't know... how would you feel  once you found out... and now say you and the husband who is going to leave his wife, get together, live together, get married. Can you be certain since his history ( with you) has shown that he isn't imune to cheating since you were the other woman. Whos to say he wouldn't cheat on you with someone else? \nYou need to stop setting yourself up for train wrecks waiting to happen and fix the situation you are already in. Break it off with the married man, and leave him alone. Talk to your husband if you want to make this work, open up the lines of communication and seek marriage councilling! Don't be mean and blurt out that you are having an affair because he is ignoring you and is not the sexual life of the party in the bedroom. This isn't all his fault and you need to realize that you both have needs that are not getting met, it takes two to make a marriage work and putting blame on him is not going to heal you. You need to figure out what your needs and wants are, and talking to someone to try to discover the part of you that is lost will help you in this relationship or any HEALTHY relationship you get into in the future!