What reasons, should a bf or gf consider before breaking up with their partner or staying with them and continuing their relationship?. Can't these reasons be put aside in the name of love? What is considered like most people says "a normal up and down in a relationship" ?. Sorry to trouble you guys with these question, just wondering since Im also in a relationship and having trouble answering that.Thnx
200330
I think when the love is not there anymore
81210
No offense, but if you have to ask, niether relationship is probably a good one. When you truely love somone, there is no doubt in your mind as to what decision to make in this type of situation.
91604
I've gone out with 5 guys all together and the fifth is my soul mate.  With the other four, I rushed into the relationship because I felt no one cared about me.  I didn't want to be left out so when they showed any interest I was hooked.  When I met my current boyfriend, I decided I would take things slow and be very cautious.  We've been together for two years.  We've been through A LOT of trying times and are still as much in love as the day we met.
45880
This is a toughie for me.  In retrospect, I felt in my gut whenever a guy wasn't the best one for me--but I often stayed because I doubted my own instincts.  Things generally end or fade away because the universe no longer sees a need for us have them in our lives; we have learned our lesson and it is time to move on.  The pain of a breakup is FAR less damaging than the choice to stay and suffer holding on long after you should have let go.
616390
complete openness should already been present before a relationship should have started. Too often we rush into things for many reasons not taking enough time to get to know one another. then we get together and wonder why it doesnt work out. love isnt compromise its about love and acceptence. trust and honesty. he pushes you away means he has none of what it takes to be a good understanding loving caring mate. sorry but I say respect yourself and you can do and deserve better.
258885
Sometimes when people are in relationships, they forget that they're supposed to maintain the relationship, like dating, talking and hanging out. Strange since those are the things which got us into the relationship to start with.\n\nMany years ago, a friend and I decided to date, knowing the difficulties we had had with previous relationships, we decided to create a relationship contract so that we would know what was expected, and know the penalties if we didn't live up to those expectations. It was one of the most enjoyable relationships I've ever had. She's still one of my closest friends.\n\nHere's a link to a copy of the contract\n\nhttp://jdoggiedogg.livejournal.com/4093.html
379749
God bless you for trying to be a better girlfriend... Men aren't very open individuals if you haven't noticed..We keep things bottled up instinctively to suppress emotions, by that l mean we will ease out of a bad situation for a bit chew on it let it go and be done with it.. We are pretty shallow creatures who in most scenarios don't look for closure.. Women on the other hand find it necessary, in most cases, to bring an end to the problem and have closure to ensure the stability of the relationship.. This truly is a situation that you must sit down with him and discuss at length so you will know quite positively where he stands.. This may or may not be healthy for a relationship but it's pretty much the norm for male behavior.. Are you worried about the longevity of the relationship, or do you wonder when the two of you fight that it might be the last time??? If so, it's very important that you talk to him about this and get his reassurance before you drive yourself crazy worrying, which will cause more static in your relationship.... Good luck!!!!
232700
'...before you have moved onto a new relationship?' You'd better decide who you are going to have the relationship with...the new guy or the old one. It might create problems.
463959
wow...that's an age difference.  none the less, sounds like she may be afraid of commitment.  But from the sounds of it, you guys never truly split up.  She calls you all the time, you guys do things, that doesn't sound like a normal broke up couple.  Normally they're at each other's throats or just totally avoiding each other.  From the sounds of it, you guys are going to be just fine. Good Luck and hang in there...it'll get better
37766
I think dating someone new is ok as long as you realize that you are still getting over the other person. It is important to not use the person to help your hurt feelings go away. Let the other person know you are fresh out of a relationship and not ready to take it farther,
507059
Guess one would question if you ever really loved your boyfriend of 1yr+ in the first place.  I can say from experience that when you break up with someone that you truly feel for, all you can think about is them and the thought of another relationship is the farthest thing from your mind.  But then again people react differently to different situations, and this may be perfectly fine.  The only person who really knows is you.  If you feel fine with how it all went down, then what does it matter what other people think, they're not the ones who live your life.  If you feel good then don't let anyone tell you otherwise, good luck!
226331
As long as two adults find a common ground, relationships work. My BF is 20 years older (I'm 27) and I can't imagine my life without him.  We are on the same level in so many ways - maturity, goals, opinion, etc. Like any relationship, it comes down to a balance of give & take, acceptance, and respecting each other. I love him for so many reasons - he is genuine; he's not out to find the next party or club, stay out all night with friends or worry about how fast he can get his car to go. I believe people come into our lives for a reason, and we learn and grow from them. Being in love is the greatest feeling in the world and age shouldn't stop anyone from experienceing it.
263560
It really depends on if you guys do not depend on each other for financial need.  If you can leave the relationship and can rely on yourself to provide for yourself, then it is not rushing things.  But every decision you make is based on the long run.  If you are taking things step by step and you feel you aren't rushing things that is fine.  But normally, long successful relationships run slower than the pace you're at right now.  But what is normal nowadays?
487786
Hello:\n\nOne of the hardest things I have ever had to realize is that loving someone isn't enough to make a relationship work. \n\nI was in a long term relationship with a guy, whom I was in love with. The only problem was that he was insanely jealous, and I am a little too trusting. He would assume I was cheating on him, if I had a conversation with a guy friend (a guy friend that I had been friends with long before I met my boyfriend). And if I saw him chatting with a random girl I would just assume they were chatting, and nothing more. I should also say that I have never cheated on a boyfriend, much less cheated on this guy. \n\nEventually he started to push the limits more and more when it came to making me jealous, so much so that he started making out with a girl at a party we had gone to together. Even though afterwards he told me that it didn't mean anything, but that he wanted me to feel jealous, it was too hurt to try to make the relationship work. \n\nWe had a long talk and learned that we had spent so much time trying to hurt each other, that we didn't have anytime to enjoy each other. Obviously our relationship was disfunctional, and I'm happy to say we are both in relationship and are successful and we are still friends with one another.\n\nThe relationship I have now is fantastic. But we still do have problems. The best thing I have done in this relationship is that we face issues head on. But we both know how we each deal with stress. When I am stressed I like to be left alone, where as he likes to be distracted and just take a break from it all. We are able to recognize when we are stressed, and how we can help the other one deal with the problem. \n\nI would suggest that you wait it out. You've been in a relationship that has been successful for so long. Wait until he has started school and starts feeling comfortable there. But be supportive and if he doesn't want to talk to you about his feelings - just let him know that you are there for him if he ever needs to talk or a distraction. \n\nI hope this helps and good luck!
380497
I agree Matt...and it seems most on here have kinda missed the question...or maybe I have.\n\nIt's not what you call him as a term of endearment....although I think that's a great question I'd like to see all the answers to. What I think you're asking is how you refer to that person in your life....when introducing them to others, or talking about them to others.\n\nWith my ex I used partner and hated it. It sounds like we're CPA's together or something. \nLife partner is icky \nBoyfriend sound like we're in Summer camp\nLover...eeewwww\n\nEven though we were together for a decade I never used husband because it is a lie. We had not exchanged vows in our church (though we would have been allowed to get married there). I think marriage is a deadly serious thing that I do not want to cheapen by using it erroneously.\n\nSo, I ended up using partner and probably (hopefully) will again in the future. But I'd sure like something else.\n\nI don't think this is uniquely gay either...straights don't really have a better word, do they?
622084
Well, in reality it doesn't matter a lick what everyone else does. Relationships are about two people and their feelings. For example, I have two friends that are swingers...it's totally acceptable for one to pick someone up and snog them without asking the other. They are cool with that... am I? Heck no! My point? You need to sit down with your partner and establish boundaries. They can be conservative, they can be liberal and you don't need statistics to tell you you're right. You only need to make sure it's something both of you can live with. You both must compromise on this one. For example, maybe your partner feels you are unreasonable about your level of social interaction. IE you don't like having people over enough, while he/she would love it if people were over all day long everyday. Maybe the compromise is setting up limits, like ok Monday and Wed nights are open and you can have people over but the other nights you need to ask...or maybe, as soon as you are aware someone is coming over, please let me know. Or maybe its a matter of establishing hours or something. Point is, you need to be able to find a happy medium. If you can't there might be deeper issues you need to look into resolving. Anyhow, the bottom line is the three C's: Communication, Caring and Compromise... Good luck to you!
403965
Not calling just makes me think they've moved on and if I find out it's been a head game, that just ticks me off. Honestly what works for me is just being nice to be around. Nice isn't the word I want, but seems to fit the best. You also may have a partner who has a personality that is content with certain levels of partnership and this is something you'll have to think about if it applies. I'm very independent, and am not comfortable with someone who wants to hang all over me. I don't do that myself, and for me it's a bit creepy and makes me feel suffocated. Just my take on things, if you really want to know, ask your partner he knows himself better than anyone else. Good luck!