My best friend really loves this guy. he keeps saying he's gonna ask her out and telling her he loves her, but then he keeps changing his mind about whether he wants to date or just have a "relationship". he won't explain. She really loves him, but i know its hurting her. how do i help her?
198956
You support your friend - don't play referee between the two of them. Just listen to her and be supportive - one way love is hard... tell her you want the best for her and that you're her friend regardless....and you'll walk with her through this trying time - take her to the mall or movie(pick out a funny comedy) - have a pizza party with friends  - something to help  out when this guy has her emotionally wrecked.
394833
Yes, I think your absolutely right about everything  you said that concerns you, your friend, and this guy. Just be glad that it wasn't you with this guy no matter how good he flirts or looks. I really feel for your friend because if she gives it up to him he's going to be gone like the wind soon afterwords. Hopefully things won't get that far for him and her, but if they do I hope that maybe she'll learn a lesson from it. You seem like a very smart girl to me. Don't ever let yourself be taken advantage of. Your worth something.
122922
You want to be a good friend and I understand that but if I were in your shoes I would let it happen. If you make a big deal or say anything about it period shes going to wig and maybe end up dating the guy even longer just to spite you and that's just counter-productive. In my opinion she made a bad decision dating one of her friends X's but since that's not the question it's neither here nor there. The point is, she knew how he was before she started dating him, she should have known better. I'm not trying to be cruel but people learn things best firsthand. Be supportive, hope for the best, Maybe your X has changed but be ready to console her and help her move on when he screws her over as well.
4886
Dating "best friends" is risky at best, and more often than not it doesn't work out. Girls (you don't say how old you are, by the way) tend to see close male buddies more like brothers at times, so making the transition from friend to sweetheart is often a stretch for them.\n\nThe one thing I can suggest is to be open and honest.  Try telling her at some point, but don't wait until she's dating someone else.
643004
What's wrong with liking him if you do?  I think that once you really get to know someone, you can't help  but love them to some extent.  My best friend in the world is a guy, and I love him.  It's hard sometimes, but you can't ignore the feelings, and nothing's going to make them go away.  It might help if you tell him how you feel.  If he likes you, then maybe you can hook up, or if he doesn't then maybe that'll give you some closure on the subject.
667839
Do you have a crush on this best guy friend that's kind of like your brother, even in the slightest? If not then I suggest you relax about it a little. You might want to let them know if they start going out that you love them both, and wish them the best but the second they start having issues you don't want to get involved. Maybe you should also go in to a little more depth with this with your best friend too so she understands. I understand your discomfort with this because when people break up they both seem like jerks and you probably won't want to hear it.
165030
oh my gosh, this just happened to one of my really good guy friends! tell her how you feel about her, if she doesn't want to be with you then she doesn't deserve you
306117
No its not love. He is not mature enough to be in love with anyone but his-self. But you wont be able to convince her of it. It sounds like she has a very low self esteem and is willing to be treated this way for love. Nothing you can say is going to change her mind just be a good friend and be their for her if she finally wises up and realizes he's using her and he ain't worth the price she pays for his toys.
328458
Oh, honey, love makes you put up with things that you should never have to put up with.  Let me ask you this, if your very best friend was in this relationship - in your place - would you tell her to stay and wait for him to either really hurt her, or change?  Of course you wouldn't.  You need to love yourself.  Leave.  If you don't have friends or family, go to a shelter.  If he truly wants to change for you, he will have to do it on his own.  Good Luck!
455301
Unfortunately there is nothing that can really be done here.  Be patient with your friend and let her feelings run their course.  Eventually she will realize how she isn't meant to be with him and begin the healing process and then begin to forget him.  Either that or she will meet another man that make her forget this guy.  Maybe you could recommend that she go on a date with a guy that shows interest in her.  Remind her that maybe she should give someone else a chance.
547262
It is better that she knows now what he is really like.  If he really did love her he would have never cheated on her.  The only thing I know that you can do for sure is to offer moral support, and try to keep her mind off of what just went down.  But be sure you don't get in the middle of things.  I know that you don't want her to get her feelings hurt but I am telling you that if you get too involved in this situation you will live to regret it.  You might even get blamed for some of the things that happened even though you didn't have anything to do with it.  I know from personal experience from my best friend and then I said some bad things about someone who is now his wife.  A really has created a real burden and hardship on our friendship and we have been friends for a long long time.  So just give her all the support that you can and try just to listen to her but if she asked for some advice be really careful on what you might say because it might backfire.
111290
You're best friend couldn't truly be a friend if she wants your man.  Does he show interest in her? If not, let her go or lay off the friendship for a while to see if she is truly your friend.  If he has interest in her, let him go also he was to be a friend before lover anyway. A friend is forever and would never hurt you or put you in compromising position.
112569
It is so good and loving of you to be so concerned for your friend and want to help her through this difficult time. I think you are a great friend and she is lucky to have you for a friend.\n\nNow, the best thing you can do for her is to listen. Listen while she poors out her hurt and disapointment in the end of this relationship. It is difficult on so many levels to get dumped, especially by somebody who is not her equel and who was mean to her. It is obvious she is suffering from some low self esteem. Prop her up and let her know how wonderfull she is, but do not say anything about the breakup except if she asked you a direct question.\n\nThe best gift we can give our friends is an listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and without judgement or harsh words about this guy who has hurt her so deeply. If you say anything negitive at this point she will become defensive and not want to be around you. She needs to come to the realization that this was not a good relationship on her own time. She will if she is allowed to express her feelings without getting a lot of "advice" from well meaning friends. If she takes him back she won't forget all the negitive things you said about her "love" and she won't forgive you for saying it either. It makes a person feel that their judgement is being questioned and that friends don't really think she can make good judgements about her own life. Even if it is true that this relationship is not a good one, she needs to realize that in her own time. \n\nIncourage her to go out with you and do some fun activities. Don't try to "fix" her up with anybody yet. She is not ready for that. She needs time to heal from this wound. If you keep listening to her and taking her out for fun activities she will eventually start becoming more involved with her own life and begin to heal. Then she will be more ready to look at differant men as potential dating material and boyfriend material.\n\nIf she continues to make poor choices in who she dates and becomes involved with, then perhaps you should assist her in increasing her feelings of self worth. Tell her what you love and like about her, what streangths she has, her skills you admire. She needs to hear that she is valued and seen in a positive light. \n\nGood luck in helping your friend. I am glad she has a friend like you in her life. She is lucky to have somebody as supportive and loving as you. I wish you happiness and health too. :-)
281100
i know exactly how you feel... well, at least i think i do.. i am in love with my best guy friend whom i have known for almost 11 years... we are reallyc lose and a week ago, he confessed that he believed that we were meant to be.. blahblah.. and then we kissed.. and it's been a week and i have a feeling that he's avoiding me.. he's always busy and within the last week, he called me ONCE... that's it. and it was for a brief conversatio. i don't know what is going on... its really hard to do anything.. because i know that we were friends first.. and i dont want to risk it..\n\nmy advice to you... confront him before you assume anything and talk with him... talk it through... conversation is the best option you have... dont do like what i did and talk it out. it will save YOUR HEART from a lot of pain....
412087
I would ask her if she is seriuos about him but let her know that she can not keep playing with your heart. Let her know that is exactly what she is doing and that you can make her happy and just to give you a chance. she already admitted that she has feelings for you so i just think that she is getting nervous about being with you and possibly ruining your excellent friendship. I would talk to her and let her know what it is doing to you. good luck!
245959
you really have to ask her what's the deal with what happened.but since i assume that she's your bestfriend,then i say that don't let a guy come between friendship.no matter how much you love him.and IF she wants him for herself and she lets this guy come between the two of you, then later down the road you won't be the one feeling guilty about a guy possibly ruining a beautiful friendship.
513342
You could try talking to her and let her know that you are concerned about your friendship.   If she is really into this guy then it might be hard to get her to see your point of view.  But I think you should definitely talk to her.  Good Luck!!