I dated a black guy that I met through my best friend. I thought it was just going to be a summer fling, and it turned out to be SO much more. B/C I thought it wasnt going to last-I didnt tell my parents. They know who he is and actaully told me he wasnt allowed to call my house anymore a few years prior because they "didnt like how he acted" at a party. We never stopped talking though all the way until summer going into my senior year when we started dating. I broke up with him in Feb. of my senior year because it was too much to handle.we were in love-and my parents still had no clue that i even talked to him.its my biggest regret. We love eachother and still have that romantic relationship. Im now 20. My parents know now that I talk to him everyday and that we see each other when I come home from school. But how do I tell them that I want to be with him? my mom has told me she doesnt want me to end up with him. but they dont even know him. ...u just have to know my parents. help :(
211336
sweetie, i bet your parents already know, there just hoping for the best for them. my parents are very closed minded also. i told myself i would rise above the way they tryed to raise me, and i did. love is so, so hard to find in this world, color should not matter at all, but to them i know it does, be true to your own heart, if you really love him, show them how much! start by telling them the truth, you are 20 years old, take a stand. it is not like he is a criminal, trust me, i have been there my father told me he would rather see me dead. 11 years latter and all is well, they really dont want to lose you, they love my husband now:)
635145
Okay....this mom is going to try to answer you.  I don't know anything about your family so it it hard to answer.  My suggestion would be...let your parents get to know him, not as your boyfriend, but just as a friend.  Then if you really start dating they will already know him.  Don't make a big deal about race, maybe they won't.\nIt is easy for people to say don't worry about your parents.  I don't agree.  First of all....you wouldn't be asking this question, if what your parent thought didn't matter.\nFamily is forever.... guys can come and go.  \nYou answered a question I had, In your answer to me, you saw my love for my son and you told me to let God handle it. I can tell you are a very insightful person and I would bet you have a pretty good head on your shoulders.  Let them meet him first, then later.....Talk to your parents, give them a chance...they might just surprise you.  If he is good to you and your family....they will see that over anything else.\nGood luck, I wish you the best!
358875
Hi. I looked at your old emails and discovered that  you are 16. That is the age I was when I was involved with a 24 year old man. Boy was it a journey! I could write a novel answering this question...\n\nfirst of all this guy was WAY beyond where i was in my life. he had experienced so much more than me. everything we did wasn't that big of a deal to him but it was to me. I thought it was really cool that he'd take me out to dinner and we ordered wine, he had a really nice car, money and a cool appartment... i only wished i didn't live with my parents. of course all of this eventually led to sexual intimacy. and of course it meant more to me than him. and then that led to me having twins as a teenager. then becoming a single mom. i did all this sneaking around behind my parents back after they found out we were interested in eachother because my dad literally drug me away from him and forbid us to see eachother knowing that he was 24!\n\nthe other thing is that if he's 24 even if you consent it is called statutory rape. your parents can have him thrown in jail without your agreement and at any time they want to.\n\nmy suggestion??? don't get involved with a 24 year old. i know it sounds coooooll. and maybe it is but it's not worth it!!!!!!!! it took me 15 years after that to finally start dating one man my age. and when i did i finally felt at peace in dating and a relationship. the connection between someone your age is quite different. and well, i married that guy.  \n\nnext..... a 24 year old guy should know better! if he is interested in you he's doesn't have it all quite together up in the old noggin. or he is extremely selfish and not thinking about anyting except his selfish desires to be with a very young woman! run! you don't need a guy like this! \n\nif you are lonely or just looking for friends the best way to do it is to think of something that interests you or something you are willing to try and get involved in it. it's the easiest way to meet new people... there should be a teen center in your area check them out this summer and see waht kind of activities they have. or volunteer working with kids this summer or..... volunteer anywhere you'd like to learn something about...... get involved in a hiking group or sailing or tennis or art or film making or ????? if i knew what you were interested in i could help point you in the right direction... but get out there! hope this helps. if you want to talk more email me, k?
519102
If this has been going on for 13 yrs, I would think your parents have some idea of your feelings for each other. I think you should start seeing each other to see if this is true love. You don't mention if you are dating any one and if so, how does he feel about it. Or are you not interested in dating anyone but your uncle. First cousins date and get married but I am not sure on the laws for this relationship. I say go ahead and explore this relationship, you may find that it's only a fascination of something\nthat is out of bounds.
457325
i think it really depends. I was the first white girl my ex ever dated, but his whole family knew about me. He had alot of issues with it at first, but he got over it after a few months cause i do not play, and get annoyed with stupid crap like that real fast. He is also from new york and thats where most of his family is but as soon as he got comfortable with me, they all knew. It may just take time for him to really be comfortable with it, i think its different when introducing you to his mother as opposed to his father. Mother's are way more judgemental when it comes to their sons. Ask him about why it hasn't happened yet, and see what he says\ngood luck
171569
no matter what your mom thinks follow your heart. my man left me last yr. i moved me and my daughter into my parents house a month later my man came back. my parents were supportive even tho they didnt think it was a good idea. now everyone is happy with each other. follow your heart! good luck!!
258237
i'm 18 and my parents are STILL the ones controlling my life. i used to think the way you do. but now i'm slowly realizing that parents know best. they're only acting the way they do coz they love us and they want to protect us.  when i was 17, my parents found out that i had a boyfriend and they asked me to break up with him. although i didn't want to, i broke up with the guy and followed my parents' advice. i was sooo depressed. then one day, i heard news that my friend got pregnant. and then a month after that another friend of mine got pregnant and what's worse, she was left by her boyfriend. so i thought, it could have happened to me. (although i know that it could NEVER happen to me coz i think im responsible enough. hehe..) but you know how much we teeenagers fall in love. we're a crazy bunch..\n\nyour mom is not controlling you. she's just 'dominating' you in a way coz she wants the best for you. i suggest you show her that you're doing good in school, that you're obeying them, and that you're doing your resposibilities well to prove to them that you're a grown up now. the next time you two disagree, better discuss things between the two of you. and remember, be polite as possible whenever you're presenting some suggestions. she's your mom after all.\n\ntrust me, everything's gonna be fine. i'm just a teenager like you..who thinks i can do it on my own..but still goes back to "mommy!!!" when something's wrong. hehe.. :)
3358
First, if you love him I don't see how you could even care about his looks at all. Second, if this is the sole reason that your parents won't let you see him ,it sounds rather shallow.\n\nIf you love him, explain the situation with your parents & then remain friends. Once you are 18, there is nothing your parents can do about it, so long as you live on your own. Granted, the full legal age is 21 but, if you are, let's say, away at college, how can they tell you whom you can & can not see?\n\nIn truth, how you handle this entire thing is up to you & your true devotion to this guy. If you've known him for nine years you can't be too young so I'm thinking it will just be a matter of time before you can be together.\n\nGood luck!
276107
If you are meant to be, you will be. Enjoy diversity while you are young. If he doesn't want to be with you right now, why sit around and wait? You'll miss out on so much! You don't have to date if you don't want to. After a guy ripped my heart out my freshman year, I didn't date at all (during the school year anyway). \n\nMaybe the two of you will get back together. The more you dwell about it, the less romantic it will be, and the crazier it will drive you. Love finds you when you least expect it.\n\nEnjoy life while you are young and don't have a ton of bills to pay. Don't shut out other options entirely, just let them come to you. Good luck!
499479
Yeah they are right..... You should really talk to your parents first or if you feel uncomfortable talk to your siblings and friends at least you would be considering their feelings....... But do you really love your boyfriend that much? Are you really sure that you two are going to live happily ever after like in the fairy tales? DO NOT ruin your life... Guys come and go but families are forever.
80740
I've been there and what i did was just start talking to him that way you don't feel so weird to be around him. we both are dating other people and we just talk as normal people b-cuz we realized we cant be as close Friends as we were before but we still hang out with the same people and its better to be talkin to each other than not talkin at all.
191049
i have the same problem except the religion thing. Well if u really like him that shouldnt matter, just telll him how u feel and that yalls religion shouldnt matter, then if ur parents get in the picture talk to them and tell them how u feel about him, and if that doesnt work, ur parents dont ALWAYS have to know who ur goin out w/!!!LOL
232404
Well, 2 months is long enough to know if you love someone so it is possible that this guy is in love with you. And his race has nothing to do with anything. He is a fellow human being and that is all that matters. \n\nYour comment about not knowing how to love is interesting. Could it be that you will not allow yourself to love? I noticed you asked if it is 'okay' to love someone outside your race. Almost as though you are asking permission to fall in love - or to love full stop. YES IT IS OKAY!!! But why the heck do you care about the opinions of a bunch of people on this board? We don't know you. Only you know if you could ever love this guy and you don't need permission to love him either. \n\nIf you think he is potential partner material, give in to your feelings and go with the flow. See where things take you. Do not pay attention to anyone who looks down on your relationship in any way (unless, of course, this guy turns out to be abusive in some way). What you do and who you date is no one's business but yours. Just focus on being happy.\n\nEdit: \n\nSinfully_exquisite_stalking - my son is mixed race (yes, my ex was white) and he has no identity issues. If your friends seem mixed up it is because they were brought up by parents who didn't impart any sense of their culture. My son knows his white culture and his black culture. He knows he is mixed race but describes himself as a black man because that is how the world at large views him. But bottom line - while he accepts his heritage (because to deny it would be foolish) he doesn't see colour because like me and his father, he thinks it is irrelevant. If your friends are confused, do them a favour and suggest to them that they do what they can to learn about their heritage.
12626
Tell them.  Sooner or later they're going to find out.  When that happens they may assume you were up to no good. Why?  Because you didn't tell them.  If you want any chance at seeing and talking to him then tell them first.  Besides, don't you want your parents to trust you? You trust your parents?  It's a two way street!!
188593
Your avatar does not look white to me, and it's cute.\n\nAfter all, they raised a son who would consider a black girlfriend.  And anyway, who says they don't like you, having never met you?\n\nDon't worry.  Be you.  You seem fine to me - you have introduced the guy to your folks and all that.  And your parents are right to wonder why you have not been introduced to his folks.  Talk to your boyfriend about your concerns, so he knows about that.  And let him know that it is time to meet them.\n\nThe son may fear that they have cultural/family issues and he doesn't want to confront that, or doesn't want to subject  you to that.  I now remember a line from a movie about this.  The mother says to the son, who is going to marry a black girl, "A fish may fall in love with a bird, but where are they going to make their nest?"  She meant she was fine with things, but was cautioning the son about the problems society would give them.\n\nWe have a lot less of that these days, thankfully.  And you seem like a fine person - a nice girl from a nice family, so remember that and you'll be fine.
660176
When i met the love of my life i was 18 i just passed high school and he was studying medicine with working in same hospital.We lived in same building but never met each other.We met online when he was abroad working(he had finished studies)and i was in college.He loves me and i know it since he waited for me till i was 24 years old which i am now soon we plan to take our relationship to next luck.So if he loves you hell be with you until you pass univ and have a job.As for not being able to do things he does he told me the same thing he never made it like it mattered to him that i couldnt go out party i was living with my parents studying he used to get off chat to say go study lol and he used to make sure i was protected and loved and possesive about me.So thats your answer if he does love you if its meant to be it will be.
305729
Well first of all this is coming from someone that is actually marrying someone she met on line in July! Call me crazy, but some people are just meant to meet in different ways than others! We met on line in July met in September he didnt tell his family and my family was like no way! But it just felt right i met him and he was amazing! he moved from Vegas to Utah and we met in september engageged in November and Marrying in July! Go with your heart! Eventually parents will understand once they meet you!