A mutual friend who got divorced last year is coming on holiday with us to Greece next month.\nIt's a one bedroom flat and my wife, half-jokingly suggested she "help him" get over his loss!\nI honestly don't mind, as we have all talked openly about sex before and even shared a caravan for a week, where nothing was left to the imagination regards privacy.\nBut I don't want my wife to think I don't care.He is totally trustworthy and would never dare ask. But I know both of them would like to, providing it didn't upset me. I do care, but I want everyone to be happy. Would it be okay, if he just shared a bed and cuddles? We have all known each other for more than 20 years and were best men at each other's weddings.
211203
it sounds like they want to sleep together, so if you aren't comfortable with that, you should communicate it clearly with your wife and friend.\n\nsome cultures are more flexible and wouldn't have a problem with those 2 getting it on.
472400
I would say the man really cares about you.  Men are selfish and the longer he can keep his own space he will do that. No one like to change thier ways of living, but this is a comprmise to share a space. i really do not think it is a sex thing.
407363
Well, he left you five weeks ago and he is married now. Its none of your business what his wife thinks, or whether or not they are going to be happy together. Sorry, just being honest.\n-NmD!
672530
He is a married man, and has no business being friends with other women, if the friend ship doesnt include his wife, she has every right to be upset about it, as she shouldnt have to share her husband with anyone else under any circumstance.  He sounds like a disrespectful jerk to put her through this kind of thing as its not normal in a marriage.... So listen to your "other" friends and back off, you are over steppin your bounds!
182672
My husband and I were married for just short of 4 years and together for a total of 12 when he passed away. Having been widowed for just over a year, I feel that I am at least qualified to offer my opinion on this subject. \n\nI have just started to think about dating here in the last month. It is difficult to say the least and you do have a tendency feel as though you are cheating on your spouse. \n\nThat being said, you have to think about what your husband would have wanted for you...would he really want you to spend the rest of your life pining away for him? And should the shoe have been other foot, what would you have wanted for him? These questions we must ask ourselves. \n\nAll things come in good time and grief and grieving are no exception it can take years to heal or it can take months, alot depends upon the type of death, be it unexpected or terminal illness. \n\nComing from the perspective of terminal illness, I can honestly say that a lot of my grieving was done prior to the actual event taking place. That, however does not mean that I don't miss my husband, I do, daily. But, we had these conversations for over 2 years and I knew what he wanted me to do. He felt I was too young and vibrant to spend the rest of my life alone and made me promise that when I felt ready, I would seek out another relationship. And to me, that spoke volumes regarding the depth of his love for me.
405421
It sounds like both yours and his priorities are noncommittal. Seeing each other when convenient should be enough for now. If this was love you would not have to ask this question.
253194
What does the husband think? If there is an understanding between the two of them, then I think its fine. Whatever her real agenda is going on a trip alone without her husband, if she does have something hidden behind her sleeves, then its she is taking an advantage of her husband's trust. And if thats the case, I feel pity for her and the husband as well.
676191
That is her HUSBAND, for better or for worse. It seems as though she loves him so much and that is a very good thing. You should be proud of your friend. But if you want to give her advice in the intimacy department, tell her that she doesn't have to completely shut that aspect out of their relationship. There are definitely things they can do to be intimate without intercourse, and it can be very fulfilling for both her and her husband.  Other than that, I would say just encourage her to stay as loving and as faithful as she is to her husband.  After all, its not his fault and he still deserves to be loved too!
411030
I suggest a 12hr sex session... or 24hr, even better! You guys should be gagging for it if you've been apart for the past 6 weeks.\nMy 19yr old flatmate got a dr who figure and a haircut for her man for their aniversary this weekend. \nI think you really have to work this one out for yerself tho, you should know him really well by now, probably better than anyone, and you'll be able to find something i'm sure. \n\nI'd still go with the sex tho!
613162
Now this is a christian retreat right? So you want to make some treats for the couples, let me see if they are going for a retreat I would think it is to learn more about each other and to find their self. I guess the sex treats might be okay but I am not sure all the couples might be okay with this. Have you spoken to all of them about this?
573867
uh, why do either of you need your own friends of the opposite sex? Any friends me and Hubby have, are both our friends, (usually other cpls) but we never have over friends of the opposite sex that we are both not friends with. He is 'friends' with everyone @ his work, (male and female) but never hangs with them other than at lunch, or the 1-2 times a yr their is a work party, or Christmas party, both of which I go to with him. One chick tried to get some alone time with him, but he told her no. (this was a few yrs back) I know what she was trying to do and it made me mad as heck, but he thinks she meant nothing by it. Wrong! Guys are very naive sometimes. Sounds to me like she's trying to wedge herself in there. I wouldn't suggest you getting a 'friend' too, I would suggest counciling to figure out why either of you feels the need for seperate friends. I can totally relate though, cause men always assume if you talk about another guy, (like oh so and so did this) or whatever, even when it's nothing, just you mentioning another guy's name, even in telling a story, makes them think you want the guy. But yet they can't see that when a woman hangs on to their every word (like she appears to be) or tries to spend time with a married man, that she is up to no good. A good councelor may be able to help him see that. Make sure you go to one that believes in manogomy though, because I know there are some strange councelors out there that swing and all that though, (saw one on Montel) so be careful where you go. I would definitely put an end to it, though.now.
205682
I think you are already worried or you wouldn't have asked the question on here. I do not think this is appropriate at all. Your husband should tell them, I'm married now and I don't think it is a good idea to "keep in touch". NO WAY are you being childish, your being smart.
34042
This is probably not what you want to hear, but let it go. Don't sweat the small stuff and everything is small stuff. The freind doesnt sound like much of a friend. You might have to let your wife find that out by herself. Also Good for you for not breaking up with you wife/girlfreind when you where called to duty.  I saw it happen so many times, before a deployment. So many broken hearts :(
144959
hey, the same thing kinda happened to me! except, he never wanted her sexually...but i was friends with her (probably during a time when she dated him), way before i ever met him...we lived in different countries, so i think she may have dated him after i met her...anyway, she used to come over and hang out all the time after he and i got married...they're just old buddies and well, what they used to have is now long gone...\nso, if you feel that you can trust BOTH of them, why not?
240116
I agree, the hell with the wife. It is obvious you dont care about loosing her but what if you keep your best friend and he sleeps with someone you really dont want to loose. Not worth the risk to me. Get rid of both of them!!
303671
As far as your "good friend" DO NOT LET YOUR MAN GO TO HER HOUSE WITH OUT YOU.  That is your friend not his, I can see if it was his friend.  There have been to many instances when matters like that turn into infidelity.  Be careful with this one.  If I was you I wouldn't allow it, and if he puts up a fight, then he is sleeping with her or if he continues to go without you knowing, he is cheating.  After all she is your friend and he should have female friends of his own.  Another thing, is everything going good between you two?  If there is some fighting and bad vibes I wouldn't allow him to go run to her.  Me and my man had a dicussion the other day about this subject. Something happened between him and his best friends girl, before us.  She came on to him when he was visiting with out his friend.  He left when she tried and he told his friend about it.  His friend did not believe him of course, she called her man before he did.  They use to hang out together and go out so it thought it was okay to go over to her house and wait for his friend to get there.  So you see where this is going you just don't let things like this happen, and you don't put yourself in that kind of predictement.  Not to say that everybody is like that but you don't want to take that chance with your man and your friend.  What we both agreed on is when you are in a relationship and you make friends with with your partners best friend who happens to be the opposite sex neither one of you should be hanging out with that person without your mate around it is not cool, it's some what tachy, and disrespectful, even when you are married.  I mean you have to have a very legit reason to go to your man's male friend house alone, and the same goes for him.  We leave that for the for married people who have established strong trust in each other and their friends.  Couples who have been married for years and their friends play a big part in their life.  Other than that, giiirrrl you better stop that s*** quick!  But sorry to say love, it already sounds like your man is doing your friend so start preparing to kick both of there a***** and dump his loser a**.  Move on and take my advice don't allow your man to see your girlfriends without you.  Just keep your girlfriends at a distance until you find out what kind of man you are dealing with, PERIOD!  Good luck and much love.  If you need to chat later feel free to contact me.
665177
I'm confused.. When you say you were speaking to other men.. is that all then? I don't see anything wrong w/that. You say tho 'he stayed w/me' and I don't know why he wouldn't (if it was just conversation.) You say he had a secret relationship.. was it sexual? You two both sound kind of jealous/possessive.. I mean I am basing this on the assumption there was nothing sexual involved in any of this. (If there was, that's a different story..) Let me see here.. He treats you like crap.. I take it that's the real issue on hand here.. I think men are kind of like babies (I'm married to one.. lucky me..) or they want their cake/ to eat it too.. they want us to cook and clean (and spread 'em) but on the other hand they want their 'freedom' to screw around on us at the same time. (We can't do anything along the same line tho..) that sux, right? He stayed because he's been with you and while the other gal's 'something new/exciting & different' you're the one he's 'used to living with' I am thinking. (Hell, this is depressing me!!) Hey, I DO think you've got value/self worth, dont' get me wrong! I'm just kinda bitter about men is all.. It sounds like my marriage of l4 years (boring.. I'm bored..) My ole man's an asshole (cuts me down) and then developed (or so he claims) e.d. so he tries to do the oral thing (doing me 'one big goddamned favor') on me for sex (but it's wearing thin or gettin' old I mean.. fast..) I want to dump him too.. (I think you want to dump THIS guy..) do it!! that's my 'valuable' advice for ya