am wondering if this feeling which we got after we stay long time in our relationship and the changes which happen to our feelings... is it that it become cold, or it's just that according to the long time we spend together our feeling reachs a new level so we become like that?\nwat i mean is that the feelings in the begining of the relationship is so much different from this one which is in the middle of it and from this feeling which we have now \n"i don't care if it's worse or even better , but it's just different"....so why is that?
206974
I think our feelings change as we get to know the other person better. More often than not people are alot more open with who they are after the relationship has progressed. So in the beginning they could be a little more reserved and laid back but as the relationship progresses they begin to be more open and outgoing. And so we get to know them for who they really are, as they become more comfortable within themselves and the relationship. Sometimes, this change isnt always for the better but other times it makes you love them a whole lot more. Change is one of lifes necessities. We all go through it.
218566
Eight years is a long time to let go of. maybe she just needs some space. Try separating for a while. It seems that you both still have feelings for one another. Seems like she feels lost. I know, I'm going thru the same thing with my husband. I feel like I've lost myself. I'm not the same person I was when we first met. Give her some time. I'm sure she'll re-evaluate your relationship.
585419
Lots of people experience this. Often these kinds of feelings can cause us to act in ways which are not in our best interest.  (e.g. to perpetuate a dysfunctional relationship because we like the way another person makes us feel some of the time.)  Ask yourself: Why is he my *ex*-boyfriend?  Something in the relationship wasn't working for one (or both) of you.  Is there chance that that problem can be overcome and resolved permanently?  Try to look at your own self, and identify ways which you might like to grow as a single person.  You don't actually need this guy, even if it feels like you do.
302373
Maybe you should try talking to him about how you feel?\nThere is a possibility that if you feel like the "spark" is gone, he feels the same way too.\n\nJust because the spark is gone doesn't mean you need to break up, it could just mean you need to do something to bring it back. I think a lot of relationships and marriages these days end because they're based from attraction and the 'new relationship tingly feeling'\nAfter you're with someone for as long as you've been with him, and longer, you tend to get into a routine, and the original feelings you've had disappear.\n\nLong-term relationships take work.\n\nI suggest talking to him about it either way.\nMaybe you'll both mutually feel like you want a change.\n\nIf you do end up hurting him, don't feel to bad about it, as long as you communicate with him, and are mature about it, you'll both be able to move on. :)
602107
Have you tried to talk with your girlfriend about how you feel? When my sweetie feels like nothing is special, she talks with me and says "I miss when we used to ..." or "I feel like we are in a rut, do you think so too?" She usually gets the ball rolling and brings her dissatisfaction with the status quo to my attention. You can do the same. \n\nAnother idea is for each of you to list all the things you like and don't like about the relationship and compare your lists. You probably already know this, but when sharing your lists, do so in a positive and non-confrontational way.\n\nThen again, if this all sounds like too much work, figure out what you would like in the relationship and talk with her about that.\n\nJC
299357
I really believe that just when you think things cannot get any worse, they get a whole lot better. Two months is a young relationship. Love is a strong word. I'm not undermining your feelings, but if it is true love, it'll be there even after the worst of things. So, if you don't get the same feelings back from her, ask yourself, do you like to feel bad?
53939
Hi.  I might be wrong, but I think most of the love/hate stuff is only in your head, you know.  I mean, it's not like you two have had an actual relationship in all those years, right?  So, I'm not saying you haven't really felt love and hate, only the person you've felt them for no longer exists.  You both grew apart a long time ago - if you were to meet again, you probably wouldn't even know each other anymore, you'd have to get to know her all over again to sort out your feelings.  And you might realize then that she's probably been that way (that would only be new to you) for a while and you couldn't possibly feel love or hate or both for her.\nOkay, I'm rambling.\nWhat to do?  Now that's a good question.  Honestly, I don't know.  I don't know how you get over your history.  But is this something that bothers you all the time?  Or are you just wondering how she's felt since then?
608486
Sad to hear this. I know the feeling of giving your all to that one girl you truly love. I believe you that it is far more than sex...it's love and companionship. It's that wonderful feeling that you have when you're with her whether in silence or not. The sad part is that she avoids discussing things to questions you deserve answers to.\n\nAt your age, I bet the feeling must be harder. I don't think no answer can quench your thirst but her honesty to why things can't be the same again.\n\nWhen did things started to change? Look back to what you might have done wrong or probably she is not really serious about spending her life with you.  A lot of times, we got to accept the hard facts that things are beyond our control and we have no choice but to accept and move on. \n\nWhat can we do with the pain but acknowledge it and eventually accept and carry on with our lives. Things might not be the same again but surely one day, you'll fall in love over again when you least expect. \n\nGood luck. This stage is hard but things will change, don't let this destroy your life.
162084
two people can feel they are right for each other when they first meet, definately. i had it happen to me, five months ago. we were together for a couple of weeks and then i had to go back home... its been 4 months and i still havent even thought of having a relationship with anyone else. we talk every day, the feeling Is still the same. so the point is, it can last, for sure! :)
372650
I think in a long marriage you go through that in cycles. You cant always be in love deeply and passionatly ALL the time. There are times when you just really care for someone, love them like a friend, but do not have the deep, passionate feelings you used to. But it does come back if you care for and respect the person you have chosen. Stress, problems and work can be hard on love. \n\nBut I think it is a shame so many people give up when they lose those "in love" feelings for awhile. They usually do come back, sometimes with an even deeper love than before, and dating is the pits. The grass isnt always greener. What you have might be the best your going to get!
552857
I know exactly how you feel!  I've avoided relationships for a long time because I was afraid of getting hurt.  I've been with my current guy for a little less than a year now and it's been the most anxiety-filled year that I've had in a long time.  There were many times when I almost felt like running away because the fear was overwhelming.  But the thing that makes me stay is the realization that in order to get the things I want most in life (not just in relationships) takes an amount of risk.  If we play it safe all the time, we'll never get hurt, but life would be bland.
15818
Your partner might feel the same way.  Don’t be afraid.  Try to have a leave headed discussion.  Don’t drag in past fights.  Be fair, let them know you still care but that you are suffering and you know they are too.  You want them to be happy and you want happiness for yourself.  I hope this helps.
241692
Aha, I sense some "feelings" stuff here... ;-)\n\nYou now feel like you don't used to be, or simply because you're wanting more because you're starting to feel something...\n\nBe open and just be OPEN my friend. It will answer all your questions and FREE you from all anxieties.
509186
You need to quest yourself for following :\n1. Is your (both of yours) feeling same like earlier (or may be more intimacy)\n2. Is the reason making you separate (which U've not mentioned) is really resolved.\n3. Does he really feels and cares about you and if to live without you will be painfull for life?\n4.  Has he back with immidiate requirement of physical togatherness or the feeling has brought him back.\n5, And the last but most important, take some time of your own and ask to your heart without involving your brain. You will be getting the best answer!!\n\nAll the best. kindly let all of us know  (who has answered your question) about your decession and also in future about your happiness on these decession.
601348
i can understand what you mean as there was something similar that happened between me & my boyfriend but cuz of different reasons...but it was my boyfriend who was in your position & i was on the receiving end...its very tough when someone you love says that they can no longer be with you for whatever reasons...just because we love each other so much, we try to understand & do what the other wants even when thats not something we really want...our mind accepts the situations & tries to adjust but our heart just doesnt wants to let go...you imagine all the things that can go wrong & also how tough your life would be without that person...this feeling of insecurity & depression is terrible...you also began to question that whether that person really loves you, cuz if yes than how can that person take such a harsh & insensitive decision...all this is just a matter of your emotions & you imagine everything thats positive or negatve...when this happens you try to take yourself away from that person & try to act tough cuz you dont want that other person to know that after saying that you understand, you have so many questions going on in your mind...this happened with me & though i really love my boyfriend i was still hurt tremendously by his decision to break up even when i agreed & understood his reasons...i think your boyfriend also is really hurt by whatever happened...its good that you plan to go back to him...i would suggest that you talk to him & try to get out all the pain he is carrying in his heart cuz of what happened...you'll have to shower unconditional love to make him feel secure with you again...treat him nicely, spend time with him & appreciate his presence in your life...just let him know that you belong only to him & there's no one who can love & understand you the way he does...i am sure you'll be able to do that cuz you truely love him...Goodluck!!
448911
This feeling applies to nearly everyone.  A simple fact of human nature is to seek familiarity.  This is why we feel most comfortable around those we love and know well.  This is why we feel sorrow when we lose a loved one or when a normal routine is permanently removed from our lives. The longer that "thing" is a part of our lives, the more we miss it when it's gone.\n\nAt the same time, we are adaptive creatures.  We adjust to new things, often slowly at first, until they become common place in our lives.  The cycle is repeated hundreds of times throughout our lives...and it's all part of the human experience.
352096
I've never heard of anything like this before......before we started that aspect of our relationship my (now) husband got blue balls and felt really sick and chills and such.....maybe you hold out so long that that happens to you.  I am so sorry to hear that!