ARE YOU AS A TEEN FREE, TO WHAT DEGREE? \n \n\nAS A PARENT,HOW MUCH FREEDOM DO YOU GIVE TO YOUR KIDS?
201486
I think that most parents do not discipline their children these days. The problem is that the cost of living is so high they are trying to afford just to survive rather than being with their children and teaching them better behaviour. \n\nKids have no respect these days and that is learnt from the home. More needs to be done in the household but as the divorce rate increases more kids are coming from broken families it just gets worse. \n\nFreedom is not something you should just give. I have seen so many of my friends go down the wrong path like pregnant at 15 or raped or on drugs. Kids are making adult decisions by themselves and really can't handle the consequences.  \n\nI think that kids need to understand that there are dangers out there and not think they are being imprisoned at home rather they are being given a loving lifestyle. Sure the time will come when kids go on to be an adult but be sensible learn from what you have been taught and have respect for people and more importantly yourself.
596202
I don't feel the need to forgive my children for anything. I don't think they do anything to personally hurt me. They do what they do for their own reasons. I am not one of those parents that think everything is about me. I remember what it was like being a child and I try to give them the space to learn their own lessons. I also try to remember how it felt to be on the receiving end of parents guilt and I don't guilt my kids. Even in grounding them we make it an open discussion. Since I am God I guess we are equal as loving parents. I know this Q wasn't put out for people like me more for those that think God is casting sinners into hell. I just like answering your questions.\nLove & Light\nSharon
367805
you have to show them your responsable i agree a 14 year old should be able to make her own plans and you should tell that to your parents \n\nhope i helped good luck!!
661904
Somebrowing said "Hey parents, babies still don't make themselves."  High five to you, woman! I feel very fortunate because when I grew up, chores and privileges were delegated by age, not gender. My brothers and I were all taught to be self-sufficient and responsible. Our parents both had careers and were excellent role models for us. I can do basic car maintenance and my brothers can cook and sew....and vice versa. \nWe all had the same curfews based on age and were expected to let our parents know where we were at all times. I think boys and girls can both have many privileges and a great deal of freedom if they act responsibly.
191124
I completely agree.\n\nFirst of all, do parents sit down and actually talk with their children?  When their child has a different opinion from their own, do they discuss it?  \n\nWhen I was kid and had an issue with someone (or something) my parents would ask me why I felt the way I did, what were the motivating factors behind my feelings?  They then would challenge me to put myself in the other persons shoes, to come up with possible reasons why the other person would act the way they do.  I learned very young that it takes all kinds of opinions, and that every one of those opinions is absolutely, 100% correct, at least for that person.\n\nPeople just don't listen anymore.  They aren't willing to take a step back and entertain the idea that they may actually be wrong...or at the very least, that there are other ways to view things.\n\nI, for one, am a talker....I talk to my kids.  They know they are free to feel the way they do but they must learn to give others that same courtesy, respectfully.
167294
I felt free when I registered to vote. I felt free when I volunteered too work for the election of a local political candidate. I feel free when I get into lively discussions about religion, politics, history, etc with friends and family who have a different mind set (Sometimes radically different.) I felt free when I, free of any mental reservation, signed my contract with the Army and agreed to accept a commission as an officer in the Army upon graduation from college. I felt free the day my dad started his own business (just by himself in a cluttered 10 x 10 workspace with a computer and some filing cabinets.) I felt free when I saw his company grow from that to a thriving business with an office downtown, 4 employees and 2 company vehicles. \n\nI'm quite proud to say that political, religious, social and economic freedom are things that I have the priviledge of seeing on a regular basis.
433240
Honey, I have been there.  I had a 7 pm curfew on weekends when I was 17 years old.  Tell your parents to trust you and if you do anything wrong, then they can take all rights away again.  You can't do no wrong until you try something.  Tell them that you are a levelheaded  responsible 16 year old and that you would like to win their trust, but you won't be able to if they keep you hidden and secluded.  Tell them you will grow up and move away.  Tell them that you will live a sheltered life and it is not good for your health.  Tell them your true feelings and make them listen.  I feel so bad for you because I was there.  Then I turned 17 and moved away from home, had my own apartment while I was a senior.  I had a full time job, gymnastics practice and school.  I did just fine and it taught me how to be mature.  I am not telling you to take off, but I am telling you to talk to  your parents because they may not understand your TRUE feelings and how you want to hurt yourself.  Just think, you will be 18 in a little bit and you will be able to begin your life the way you want and be your own boss.  Don't hurt yourself, because in all honest, it is not worth it.  Talk to the parent you are closer too!  I feel for you, I have been there.  Then I moved to FL.  I moved away so my family would realize what I meant to them and that they didn't have a hold on me.  It doesn't work for anyone, so don't runaway or anything.  I did this all as an adult okay? Let us know how it goes because I am genuinely worried about you!  Good luck!
284251
You want to love and be loved and right now your world seems  out of your control. You are starting to crave independence yet you still have to submit to other people's rules; You don't yet have a complete understanding that the freedoms adults seem to enjoy are tempered by responsibilities.\n\n  You think (perhaps subconsciously) that having a child of your own will somehow make you an adult, with all the rights and privileges they enjoy. The love of a child is absolute and unconditional, all they ask for is for you to love them  back. What you have to provide is that...and EVERYTHING else. The thing about having a child is, you in effect dedicate your life to them. There is no more ME, there is only US...and you can't get tired of it and just decide to quit. You can't "break up" with them or get a divorce. There is no negotiation with a child, no friendship, there is no parity...you are RESPONSIBLE for them in every way. (This is what it feels like, such is love.) \n\n  Why do you want to have kids? Because that is one way to have a constant and permanent anchor in the world. When all the rest of the world changes beyond your control, you think this is a bit of stability. But when you have them you learn that even this isn't true...and now you have something even more precious to lose than even your own life.
432640
I think I was overprotected.  I rebelled when I was a senior in high school, and partied a lot then and in college.  Maybe if I had been allowed to do more, I would have done less.  \n\nON THE OTHER HAND, I have two kids right now and I find myself laying down the same rules as my parents did. :)  Go figure.
8047
I am a pesky parent. my 21yr old lives any from home and goes to college and I still talk to her about her grades.She knows that I only want the best for her and that I am concerned and love about her.If I didn't pester her,she would think I didn't care.She says she loves me for doing it[even tho sometimes I am a pesky parent]She wouldn't have it any other way!!!p.s.I hope the answer you got from brnbrn3 was a joke even tho it was not funny. Ihave a 17yr old grand daughter who ran away on nov 21 2005,we haven't heard from her yet!!! An update incase you were wondering or praying for us.They found my 17yr old grand daughter on Monday Jan 9 2006.She is fine other than the fact that she has really messed up her life.She had big plans to go to college now she has missed so much school this year ,she can't even graduate.She was a straight A student  Senior year.She now sits in detention awaiting her day in court to see what the judge is going to do with her.So don't run away,and someday when you are sucessful, you will love your pesky parent as much as my daughter loves me.and someday hopfully my granddaugher will ,too!!!
419410
My religion has been hassled by the government tons of times. We normally win though =]. I don't think that there is such a thing as being truly free.\n\n-Wiccan teen )O(
644428
I am a youth counselor at a detention center for at risk youth and I see this alot. Now I am only 23 years old so I don't know how much I can influence the crowd here but here it goes. I think with the kids I deal with there are 2 main things that add to the equation. Parents and Pop Culture. With parenting I think people arent willing to put in the time and also agree with the fact that parents are trying to be friends. Also I don't know if there is any connection but I would say with the number of single parents increasing and the age at which people are impregnated. A irresponsible youth can't raise a responsible person. By the time the kids I work with get to be teenagers, the parent usually wants to make up for the teenage years that they themselves lost leaving a kid to fend for himself. As far as pop culture goes I just isn't popular to be nice anymore most music is about being depressed or being a gangster, alot of the movies my youth watch when not in program have to do with the same or with sexual acts. Well that's all on this matter for now any questions feel free to write.\n Timmy
509205
Yep,,,,and it wasn't "why" or "I don't want to",,,,,it was because OUR parents told us to. I believe in the "old school rules",I raise my daughters this way,they are 16 and 13. But they listen to me more than their dad,because I'm the more strict parent. I tell them it's not because WE say so,"it's more because of respect". AND I also believe there is a difference in  beating a child than just spanking a child,and grown ups should never let it get to where it becomes a beating.Parents have to start at a young age though,they can't wait till a child gets 16 then say why do they do all these wild things.
60689
I'm totally for teen driving restrictions..it gives you time to learn in a more restrictive way without so many distractions before you "go it alone", I am however not at all supportive of raising the driving age...I want my son home the first few years he's driving (when people are likelier to have accidents) so that by the time he's 'going it alone' he's got a few supervised years experience under his belt...plus, as your parents- we love you & want you safe :)
148514
I don't think there is realy an age that is appropriate, because all people have different maturity levels at different times in their lives. I lost mine at the age of 16 and I'm 22. My boyfriend got my drunk and basically took advantage of me. Don't get me wrong, I could have said no, but I didn't. Today I wish I would have waited. Thinking about when my son gets older and if he ever asked mom, when did yo first have sex. Most parents would never hear that so I probably won't, but what if they were to ask? Although, I would never take it back because it got me where I am today, I've been happily married for two years with a gorgeous ten month old son. People make mistakes, but hopefully they learn from them. Society isn't the problem I don't think. i think the parents and schools need to start at a young age teaching values, because they are lacking somewhere.
505511
Updated 11/14:\n\nAs I read this question I think this:\nA teen [atheist] should do whatever any teenager should do.  Try to establish communication, work towards mutual understanding, and don't lost sight of the fact that you are pretty much grown up and they are the ones who brought you safely to this place.   Respect is a powerful tool.  You can't win respect from some people no matter what you do, but you can choose to lavish it on others regardless of what you think of their choices.  No matter what their mistakes, your parents deserve your respect just for bringing you to this place.\n\nOK,  that was the update.\n________________________________________\n\nI'm in agreement with you that taking communion wouldn't be appropriate if you do not believe.  The communion is meant to be a way to share a unified faith experience.  Obviously, you don't feel that way.\n\nIt may be time, at 18, to begin discussions about making a plan to move out of the home.  Are you nearing college age?  Is a work/apartment plan appropriate for you?  We have always asked that our children make a plan.  One even chose a half-way house so that he could leave quickly without a plan.  (It was still a plan.)  Two have chosen college.  One went to live with another family for a time until she got a decent job and found an apartment.\n\nYour parents have a responsibility to the world (and to you) to bring you up to the point that you can make a reasonable plan for your future and embark on it.  They may not feel that you are ready, or perhaps it is not customary to let children in your culture leave at this young age. \n\nI suggest talking rationally with them about what is required to remain under their roof and whether it would be an appropriate time to make a launch plan.  Having a plan in place will take some of the pressure off of you, and it might help you comply until the time when you have reached your goal and step out on your own.\n\nI wish you well.  I'm quite certain that you will do well once you have a plan in place that suits you and your future goals.  Just don't lose sight of the future in your angst at the present situation, which I can see is intollerable.\n____________________________\nAnother thought before time runs out...\nEven atheists can spend a lot of time and emotion proselytizing.  Perhaps it would be good to check and see if you are trying to convert your folks.  Obviously, they believe strongly.  You believe strongly in something different.  Suppose you reach a truce.  Suppose you stop talking to them about your disbelief in exchange for them to stop trying to force you to believe.  A similar compromise could be reached that would best fit your situation.  (That would also help you to appear less "rebellious.")
38301
YES!!!! I am a parent of 2 children. They do not do anything unless I know every last detail of what is going on. I am on this earth to protect them and how am I to do that if I do not know what is going on??