I have a friend that is promiscuous (what she calls herself instead of a slut) and she has this guy that she took home on a one night stand that still calls her. Well we went out and had a great time all of us at a club with other friends. Well he called me at 3:30 am telling me that he liked me and wanted to hook up and she was a nice girl but not his type. She doesn't like him only as a friend. Well he is a great guy which seems like he is on a responsible streak. The only thing keeping me back is that he slept with her and I don't like her reputation, I love her to death, but can't handle the sleeping around rep. This is like the 3rd time seeing him and everytime we hang out we just conversate while she is off somewhere talking to other guys. I don't want her to ever know that he called me. Please give me some feedback.
208235
O.K. first of all, if your hung up about him sleeping with your "promiscuous" friend, and you can't put his past in the past.  Then you shouldn't go out with him.  You will end up only hurting yourself. 2nd, if you think you 2 can hook up, then don't let situations get in your way.  But, don't hide it from your friend.. You don't have to flaunt it in her face.  But sneaking around looses its glamor after a while.
411921
I never got that whole if I date him no one can. if you guys are over, and you agreed to see other people then get over it, your not a very good friend if you wont let her have a chance at happiness. I don't see anything wrong with it if she was a good friend, but if she just stared at you and asked you why you were mad, that obviously tells you she's kind of a jerk, she obviously doesn't care about you or your feelings, considering you just told her you were still in love with him, if I started dating my friends ex I would have at least shown that I was sorry for causing any pain, but some thins cant be helped, such as holding back feeling for a guy, dang,...  then I'm sorry but if I were you I would have brought her down. keep in mind though that if you guys are supposed to be together you will and if he wanted to see other people then maybe you deserve better, unless it was your Idea in with case, WHAT ARE YOU BITCHING ABOUT. its not fun but remind yourself of 2 things first of all that she deserves the chance at him, and second of all that you may still have a chance of getting back together with him. I got back together with mine.  Good Enough?
585974
The question isn't what you should do or not do to avoid being called a sl**. The real question should be why a**hole guys insist on calling women sluts for things they do themselves. If you're going to date someone that you fear will disrespect you with name calling and so fourth then maybe that is the kind of guy you should not be dating. Don't put up with their chauvinistic crap.
196009
well it sounds to me like he may well have liked you seeing as he was calling you 2 and 3 times a week but when he seen you with this other guy he got jealous and stopped calling,id say that is it,i mean speaking from my own experience like this one that is what happened me but it turned out she liked me,what i would do is call him up,i mean just cause hes a guy doesnt mean he has to do all the running,or you could just simply ask him out,i mean lifes too short for regrets,right?? hope that helped abit!! \nGood luck
466990
Sounds like this guy likes you...a lot.  I think your friend has a bad taste in judgement.  Any guy who keeps coming back for more is definitely interested.  Go for it!-- Don't listen to your friend, she may be jealous.
82694
I would emotionally distance yourself from him.  You can remain friends, but I would start looking elsewhere.\n\nIt may be that if you hook up with someone else, he'll realize he might lose you, and that might give him the kick in the butt he needs.  Or he could get jealous and retaliate.  If he has no reaction, it may just mean he's not that into you.\n\nEither way, prepare to move on.  I'm not saying you should find someone to make him jealous; that's just self-defeating.
508506
This is a very touchy situation and should be handled delicately. Easily, both ends of this scenario can be seen. If you tell her, you'll probably lose him as a friend and she'll either be in denial and/or be mad at you. If you don't tell her, and she finds out anyway (which she will eventually) then finds out that you knew--you'll lose her as a friend. There are endless possabilities as to how it will play out--tell or don't tell--for either. If you truly think that he'll never do anything like cheating again, and they're happy, then that's great. But if he is the type that could cheat again, maybe her knowing now would save her more heart ache and pain down the road...\n\nYou mentioned that he said it was over with the girl, right? Now, did you beleive him when he told you this? You know him, was he being honest about it? Do you see this guy 'checking out' and flirting with women often?  Do you think that he would cheat on her again, period?  Ask yourself these questions, and it should help in your decision.  But, since none of 'us online people' truly know your friends, it would be extremely hard for us to answer the question for you. You are the one who knows them both personally, and it's up to you to sit down and evaluate the situation, taking the people themselves into account. We all have our opinions, and anyone answering this will give you theirs. (that's why we're here I guess--answer truthfully to the best of our abilities and all that) \n\nBest of luck to you, and remember that whatever decision you  make will be the right one!!
642363
From what you said it seem to me what went on with buddies of mine when we were young and stupid. I have had buddies that could not stand their girls. And when the sex got boring it was time to bail. If they heard rumor from the girl's posse that she was thinking of dumping him, or that she had dumped him and he was not told yet. they would do a 360 turn and be the most charming you ever seen. To get her liking them again or take them back. Then they DUMPED HER. So, the official story is that SHE did not dump me, I dumped her. I think that is what he did. She came back, he had the power. And he used it. He was never really into her so much as to be the one to turn on and off the tap. She lost. She better just move on.
303671
As far as your "good friend" DO NOT LET YOUR MAN GO TO HER HOUSE WITH OUT YOU.  That is your friend not his, I can see if it was his friend.  There have been to many instances when matters like that turn into infidelity.  Be careful with this one.  If I was you I wouldn't allow it, and if he puts up a fight, then he is sleeping with her or if he continues to go without you knowing, he is cheating.  After all she is your friend and he should have female friends of his own.  Another thing, is everything going good between you two?  If there is some fighting and bad vibes I wouldn't allow him to go run to her.  Me and my man had a dicussion the other day about this subject. Something happened between him and his best friends girl, before us.  She came on to him when he was visiting with out his friend.  He left when she tried and he told his friend about it.  His friend did not believe him of course, she called her man before he did.  They use to hang out together and go out so it thought it was okay to go over to her house and wait for his friend to get there.  So you see where this is going you just don't let things like this happen, and you don't put yourself in that kind of predictement.  Not to say that everybody is like that but you don't want to take that chance with your man and your friend.  What we both agreed on is when you are in a relationship and you make friends with with your partners best friend who happens to be the opposite sex neither one of you should be hanging out with that person without your mate around it is not cool, it's some what tachy, and disrespectful, even when you are married.  I mean you have to have a very legit reason to go to your man's male friend house alone, and the same goes for him.  We leave that for the for married people who have established strong trust in each other and their friends.  Couples who have been married for years and their friends play a big part in their life.  Other than that, giiirrrl you better stop that s*** quick!  But sorry to say love, it already sounds like your man is doing your friend so start preparing to kick both of there a***** and dump his loser a**.  Move on and take my advice don't allow your man to see your girlfriends without you.  Just keep your girlfriends at a distance until you find out what kind of man you are dealing with, PERIOD!  Good luck and much love.  If you need to chat later feel free to contact me.
502765
I did this once, and it changed everything.  We are still friendly, but not the friends we used to be.  Give him some time, and see what happens.  Most likely he just needs you to back off a little bit.  If it's just friends with benefits, sending notes about how wonderful he is is probably not a good idea.  Would you have sent something like that to him before the sex?  Probably not.  So don't do it now. Act the same way as you always have.  That was your agreement and you have to stick by it now.
32668
Comfort your friend and tell her NOT TO DO ANYTHING! As in completely nothing... Tell her not to call her boyfriend, not to go to the guy's place, not to talk with his friends, anything that has to do with the guy. Play cool and she should act as if he's not a big loss. DON'T EVER MAKE HIM FEEL SPECIAL. You're all good and he's not the center of her universe. She was born without him anyway plus he is just an OBSTACLE. She'll get over him. Just always be there for your friend. Oh how I hate cheaters! Plus I believe in carma... I say good luck to that di*khead
450240
Wow a lot of you are pretty hostile up here….  I mean you guys would've told Eve to dump that guy Adam and talk to the snake.  Tough crowd\n\nYou sound a little bit more like a guy (in thinking) than a girl.  I've heard the same line at bachelor parties.   Anyway you do have a serious issue here maybe to complex to answer.\n\nYour issue is multifaceted… on the one hand you're jealous of your boyfriend's past lovers…. sorry I used the word lovers but you need to accept that reality.  Also you feel you have not explored enough to feel comfortable in the long term relationship.\n\nAbout your jealousy.  It seems you are more jealous of his experiences and maybe their possible expertise than anything else.  It doesn't sound like he's thinking about them or even wants them.  The fact that he told you about them and you probably pushed him to give details, says that he's not trying to hide anything… he's being upfront… give him a lot of credit for that.\n\nNow I've been with some women in the past that could rock your world in bed… however they turned out to be psychopaths.   So again realize your boyfriend is with you not them.  These women are no longer in a relationship because they could not hold his interest the way you are.  He wants to marry you and be with you forever so they should be jealous of you !\n\nYou really need to tone it down on the jealousy.  Work hard to come to terms with this.  This will destroy a relationship especially if you continue to escalate it into something it's not.  \n\nThe other part of your issue is a bit more complicated because it involves the number of partners you have not had and you feel you are missing.   You feel it's not fair that he has had more sexual experiences then you.   You have to ask yourself do you want to get five guys to sleep with to fell even.  (By the way my e-mail is at the bottom of the page we can reduce this to 4).  What if you say you get 6 guys does this mean you're going to let him sleep with one more girl before you get married?    It's not fair but then again life is never fair.\n\nDon't get me wrong I do understand your yearning to try to be with others.  You only live once.  Others might teach you to do something sexually different and exciting but on the other hand they might be less capable than her future husband.  The other side of this “affair” is… you go out with a gentleman that interested in your adventure, no strings attached, just sex… shake hands afterwards…. he gets in bed with you, he is hot looking, you get down to his manhood... wow that’s big…. he makes love all night long and you come five times.   Now what .... you just learned that your future husband is not as skilled as you thought… but he will be with you the rest of their life.  \n\nIf you do this to catch up are you going to tell your future husband?   Wouldn't this now make him jealous as you are feeling?   If you decide not to tell him and keep your secret that might work.  But being in a few arguments with women I can assure you he might pull it out of your history bag and in the heat of an argument, say ..…”And I slept with Rambo” !\n\nYou said you’re jealous of these ex-girlfriend's for different reasons and you feel you will “never be… good in bed.     I think you may be confusing the number of partners somehow equals how good they are in bed.  Quantity does not equal quality.   \n\nIf you want to be good in bed you need to be good in bed… it does not necessarily mean more partners.  While a couple of partners might give you some new techniques, positions or STDs … it really comes down to you reading about these things, studying them, discussing fantasies and other ideas with your future husband and trying them out together.  Now he may hesitate at first… and say you're just fine (guys are so stupid) but push the point.  Hopefully he won't be the kind guy who says…
218618
Given the circumstances, I'd say he was just wanted a quick peice.  If you've been friends that long then I'm sure hes pretty comfortable and confident around you so he saw you as a perfect candidate. He must've been a bit drunk or thought for some reason you would be cool with it(did you invite him to stay the night?) Guys can have a hard time reading signals unfortunatly. But chances are hes pretty embarassed about it now and regrets what hes done. I've seen the most honest guys cheat, just some guys cant control themselves in certain situations. I know I've felt the pressure before, sex is a big deal to alot of guys.
264261
You sound like a very loving person. It sounds like you have a wonderful friendship with your friend. And I think that the basis of friendship is honesty. \nI think you should consider telling the guy, when he calls, to be honest with his girl. Convince him to tell her how he feels. He sounds like he isn't as honest to his girl"friend" as you are. \nIf he isn't very cooperative at being honest and continues the discrete behavior, ask your friend in a round about way like:\n"Hey, there is something I think you should know but I am pretty sure it will upset you. Do you want me to tell you?"\n\nShe will say yes, and if so proceed slowly no need to get it all out right away, ease her into it with something like:\n"Ok, I'm not sure his intentions or if he has even told you about it... I hope he has but it feels like hes being discrete about it which is why I think you should know..." etc etc\n\nDon't forget to reassure her that you value your friendship and that you truly hoped the sexual playtime would help her relationship but that you don't want to feel that the encounter is part of some hidden agenda.\n\nAsk her how she wants you to handle future encounters with him, her, and them. She may want you in the relationship, she may want him out. The most important thing is being honest upfront to avoid any misunderstandings. \n\nSame thing with him, if you value his company treat him the same way, honestly. \nIf he is being pushy, ask him questions... this slows guys down and makes them thing more about the conversation and its potential for direction rather than the goal(i.e. "getting" the girl) and read his responses. \nDishonest people are easy to read because it feels dishonest.\nAnd don't forget that you can cross reference everything said by either of them with the significant other for even more insight into who's telling what to whom.\n\nIf your lucky everything will workout and they will love you for being a very big help, a very loving friend, and an honest person. \nIf not hopefully you can salvage 1 of the relationships be that theirs, you & hers, or you and his. \nDon't forget to be honest to yourself too, Ask yourself what scenerio you would like the most. Then tell them about it. Honesty has power unlimited when used properly.
546945
you have every right to be concerned, i would be too. the choices you make with regards to what your against are your right to make.  it seems like your man is friends with a rotten bunch of guys but ultimately he is a man and if he stoops to their level then he is just as bad as they are. i really feel for you because i can really relate to your situation. i am sure you really love him and are not ready quite yet to give up on things. you need to deal with him over the sex issue and get to the bottom of that because thats where alot of your insecurities come from. when it comes to his friends i will tell you from experience that the more you express how much you dislike them the more he will want to be friends with them simply because he is a man and doesnt want to be controlled by you. you're going to need to bite your tongue on the friend issue and play it smart. you are going to have to act as though the issues with his friends is not there and if he is going to have some fun with then why shouldnt you go out with your girlfriends and have a great time without him. act confident and secure despite how you really feel and that will grab his attention. let him wonder whats going on with you and why you seem so happy. fake it til you make it whether its with or without him. the odds are in your favor if play it cool and if after a while things dont improve and you're still unhappy you need to move on.  time will only tell where your relationship is headed but do not compromise your morals and values so he can live his life and have a good woman like yourself. just keep your eyes and ears open for anything out of the ordinary but try not to let it consume you because that alone can ruin what may be left of your relationship.
664746
Giggles,giggles, giggles!!!!\nWhat's up?\nAre you still trying to figure out what to do about dude?\nLook let's just look at it this way, okay If he dissed you once because of a female (that was there before you, might I add)\nWhat's to stop him from trying to do it again?\nNow you know I do not lie to you right?\nLet me tell you the low-down on guys, If you let a guy get away with something once they will do it again, just because they can and they know you will put up with it.\nNow If you KNOW FOR A FACT that you & him will not get into some serious type relationship and it's cool that HE knows that you are not avaiable to him  and the same goes for you as well then I would say go for the "THE HOMIE" thing, just do not get confused on the terms of what "HOMIE" means.\nAre we talking about "Homie-Lover-Friend"\nIf so It will get very complaicated before the summer ends, and you know what I am talking about right?\nPlease Giggles just remember he do have a girlfriend, and like I told you before do not be surpised if there may be more than one girlfriend okay?\nAnd always think like this:     "How would I feel if MY boyfriend was seeing a chick on the side"\nLet me know how it turns out okay?
421115
Well, I have been the rebound guy once.  She came right out and told me that I was just the "stepping stone"  and I was ok with that because I was in the same position.  But after a month or 2 she started drunk dialing me all the time and leaving me these psychotic messages on my machine professing her undying love for me.  One minute I'm the stepping stone the next I'm the knight in shining armor.  Personally I didn't want any part of that, and I don't think I will put myself in that position again!  I guess what I'm getting at is if you tell him he is the rebound guy keep it at that or just don't bring it up at all.