My 19-year-old sister's crying all over because her boyfriend has cheated on her. As her 20-year-old brother and her only blood-relative left, I hugged her and tried to comfort her.\nAt all sudden, my 18-year-old girlfriend came and saw me cuddling and consoling my sister, lying next to her.\nI haven't been able to explain anything, she's already ran and cried...\n\nWhat should I do now? Is it all my fault?
215224
I think your girlfriend is a bit on the immature side and jumped to the wrong conclusion when she saw you laying down cuddling your sister. God bless you for being such a loving big brother and consoling your sister.\n\nGive your girlfriend time to calm down, then talk to her. Explain why you were consoling your sister, that's all. I think she will realize that she overreacted. I hope so.
128583
You know, I just love the way big brothers love their little sisters! Your sis must be upset, so give her a hug, make her a nice hot cup of tea (well, it needn't necessarily be tea- anything comforting will do!), tell her her boyfriend's a jerk, and try and cheer her up. I wouldn't suggest beating him up, because I don't think it's do anyone much good, to be honest! Just be there for your sister and give her a bit of advice. If she breaks up with him, then stick with her and help her meet some nice guys, when she's ready. If however, this guy who made her cry, harasses her in any way if she breaks up with him, then have a man-to-man talk with him and tell him to get lost. Don't worry; she'll be fine! All the best to you both!
28878
I am a twin, and as much as my sister hates me sometimes, we always make up. Hang in there, she'll forgive and forget. She'll need you to have her back someday, and hopefully you'll be there. stay strong. Twin  Power!!!
492109
To answer the first of your questions. Absolutly not. It is not wrong to cut someone out of your life if they are not good for you, whether that means they are abusive (mentally or physically), or that they are a bad influence, they have a shitty attitude, etc. \nIt's normal to feel bad when you come to the conclusion that a person needs to be cut out of your life. If a relationship ends (even if it is a bad one) it is still a loss, and any loss in life will be someone emotinal. If you didn't feel any emotions about it, then that would be unnatural. We, as humans, feel emotions about everything. \nI imagine that you are either feeling angry or hurt by your sisters. Maybe even both. It's understandable. I'm not exactly sure about your whole relationship with them, but it sounds rocky for sure. Try creating boundaries with them. Tell them it is not okay to treat you the way they are. Tell them that you will not accept their critisim. If they become angry, that is their issue. You cannot make a person feel angry. An emotion is a reaction to a situation, but you cannot cause it. You can cause a situation, but you cannot actually choose how someone will react. The way the feel is 100% their problem and their responsibility. \nIt sounds like you feel bad for a lot of things that are out of your control. I know it's easier said than done, but don't. \nDo what you need to do, but remember, you are the #1 person in your life. You come first. \n\n-I hope this helps some
343159
Actually, you are both right.  She is right when she says that she feels hurt because you two are not close.  Who are you to deny her what she feels to be true?  Feelings are not based on facts and truths of historical circumstances.   They are feelings.  Don't look to deny others their feelings.  You are right, too, when you state that you have a different life or different lifestyle than your sister.  You are two different individuals so naturally you will do things differently, and with differences conflict is inevitable.  You can resolve whatever conflict exists between you and your sister by talking to her more often.  Communication doesn't by itself solve all the problems of the world but it certainly smooths out the bumps in the road.
497869
How can you even ask that question?  You broke your sisters heart and also her trust in you.  No matter what you say do you think she is going to believe you now?  Let her be the one to decide when and if she wants to speak to you
97785
It happened to me. My husband and my sister no less.  It ruined my marriage, even after 28 years I haven't forgiven him.  He ended up with a terminal illness- Multiple Sclerosis for 15 years. He passed away in 2004. I felt like I had to stay and help him.  His actions affected my relationship with my older son and my sister...not that she was worth a second chance. But, I did try.  My mother, father, and baby sister didn't talk to me for 15 years- yea, like it was my fault. My brother and I remained estranged until he passed away. All I did was stay with the guy.  Big mistake! My younger son is not really part of the family every one shuns him because he looks like my husband. My sister's daughter ended up being an outcast and tried to commit suicide twice. What should you do?  Move on...make a life for yourself, find someone that respects you and loves you for who you are now... don't wait it will only hurt you! I am 53 back in college and making a life for myself for the first time. I have never been happier. I plan on traveling and staying alive! With as much enthusiasum as possible..If you need to have someone beside you I am sure that there will be that certain someone around the corner.  For myself, I just love being myself. One day maybe I'll meet someone but, for now my happiness and peace of mind it what counts to me.
315577
I wonder the same thing. I try not to think about my sister hating me but it is really hard. My sister has caused problems between me & my mother just by doing things like you said: she would pick everything just to hurt you. I have shown my mother proof from my doctor that I am really ill & that I am dying but oh no my sister tells her that I am lying so now my mother refuses to talk to me. She says I made everything up even the letter from my doctor with his signature & the letter was written on letter head paper. Go figure. I made it all up. I wish that I wasn't dying. My sister says that she can't deal with my illness. I passed out one day asked her to take me to the hospital, says she can't deal with me. I don't know why she hates me. and I don't know how to handle it except for focusing on one day at a time. I have my husband and my daughter with me. She even told my husband something that my daughter did at her home, she was grounded for 8 months and then 2 months ago I found out from one of my other sisters that it was all a lie. she wanted to cause problems between my husband & I. She thought he would leave me over it. She has major problems. She has 2 daughters by her 4th husband. but actually the 1st one belongs to his brother but she confided in me not to tell him and I haven't. It has been 7 years and he still does not know. I don't cause her problems why cause me problems. Why can't she just love me? I love her with all my heart. I wish your sister would love you too. Maybe they are having emotional & mental problems and they have focused on us to take it out on so that they can live with it. I wish  you the best of luck in working things out with your sister. I am trying but to no avail.
436882
Ummm I don't know how old u r, but really that doesn't matter... stay away from the sister's bf....STAY AWAY FROM THE SISTER'S BF!!  All that will happen is drama drama drama.  Stick with your b/f or go find a better one...but you need to distance yourself from your sister's relationship now before it goes any further!!!
531324
I understand what you're going through. And I hope that you will find something, someday that will make it all dissappear.\n\nAs harsh as I may sound, I don't think your sisters reaction is normal. She is being overly zealous. May be she should have herself checked out also. \n\nAlso, do you fight a lot. Is this just mere sibiling rivalry. Have you tried winning her affection?. If this is not the case, i suggest talking to your parents about your sister, and she might want to visit a behaviour consultant.
392747
Hi "Dog" (cute nickname.) Right off the top I would have to say that not only do you have too much on your plate, but perhaps you're assuming too many responsibilities. There's no reason for YOU to feel guilty because your sister's husband isn't there for her. You CANNOT be responsible for everyone. You seem a very sensitive person--& only 16! Gosh. Do you have anyone you can talk with, preferably someone who isn't critical, judgmental, dictatorial--from whom you could get input & hopefully, some reinforcement? I believe you need this more than anything--except--that your well being is the very most important thing with which you must cope right now.  A freind would help. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with caring about others, but not at you expense. I hope someone will give you some thoughts that YOU can implement, & my very best to you.
343572
kids are resilient.  they understand things sometimes a lot simpler than we can and just trust.  it's your decision and you should do whatever you feel most comfortable with. but keep her informed.  my dad's dad died when my dad was young, and he wasn't kept informed at all, and it hurt.  death is a part of life, and she should be exposed to that, but make sure you and other family members are there to help her understand and to just hold her when she cries.  i'm so sorry that you have to be in this situation.  it's so tough and heartwrenching to lose someone you love.  it sounds like you have family with you- hold on to them. this tragedy in your life will make you stronger (you'll see it eventually), so just make sure all of you hold on to each other.  don't be afraid to cry and break down sometimes.  your little sister will be alright.
54501
Don't blame her, she feels responsible for you... unfortunately she will always look at you as a kid. I'm 26 and i still look at my 22 year old sister as a kid, cause she IS!!
70909
come on, be a man...don't just run away from your responsibility. just imagine if it happens to your sister, what a worse thing it may be. a true love is compasionate. face your fear, it may be once in your life but you will learn so much from it. your girlfriend might suffering right now and she is needing your much attention. good luck
76570
There's really nothing you, or your sister can do until your children turn 18.  I suggest you try to wait it out, and if all else fails, tell your sister how you feel.  Ask her to tell them where you are, so they know where to find you.  \n\nBe careful not to let them sneak out of the house they live in now though, to see you.  If you talk to them, urge them to ask their adoptive parents what they think.\n\nI'm very sorry this happend to you.  I couldn't possibly know what it was like to lose my children.  You're in my prayers.
127023
For sure you are carrying a lot of grief and anger over the circumstances that led to your sisters death. It would help you to talk about this to others on a more personal basis. Have you ever thought about joining a support group for people who have lost family members suddenly as a result of violence or disasters? Below is a link that might be of some help to you. You have my sympathy. I lost my bro to a car crash several years ago, and I'm still angry with the people who helped cause the accident but I don't let it run my life anymore. Good luck to you, and God bless you.
286906
Oh, sweet Katelyn, I am so sorry for you and your sweet nephew! What a tragedy. You are being very brave. Have you discussed taking care of him with your parents? Even if you were to be his primary caregiver they would have to be involved. I know that you are still grieving, but have you thought about how you will finish school if you have the care of a baby? Really, honey, you need to discuss this with your parents. Ask your pastor if there are people at church who could help out. Maybe someone would provide child care during the day while you are at school. You must be a very mature 15 year old to be thinking of this in the midst of your grief. Your sister would be so proud of you. Talk to your parents. I'm sure they'll have some ideas. God bless all of you!