My boyfriend and I are talking about getting married and one thing that comes up is the wedding party.  My bf doesn't have a whole lot of friends and none that are real close.  His dad is an alchoholic and we don't want to take a chance on him.  He is friendly with my brother but not close at all and his brother was killed in a car accident a while ago.  I thought it would be nice to have his son as the best man.  He is almost 10 and we won't be married for about 2 more years.  My mom and his step-mom said that it's not appropriate for him to stand with his dad as best man.  I don't really understand.  Is it against etiquitte?  Even if it is is it really that big of a deal?
203081
I think it's a great idea, and no one else should be best man at your wedding. \nI think that the objections that your mom and step mom have, are because of the traditional role of best man. Originally this role was made to assist the groom, and make sure that he makes it to the wedding. Also paying for the wedding if no one else was available to pay. \nHaving his son as a best man is a wonderful way to incorporate him in the wedding ceremony, and making him feel like he's an important part of the process. Go for it.
355509
It sounds like your relationship is great but one thing that worried me - you said you were worried his family wouldn't like you - you should meet them first, and make sure he meets yours first.  \n\nWhen I first started reading your post I had my doubts, BUT \nI don't think the age difference matters in your case.  In some it does, but your relationship does seem more mature.  People always think I am too young also.  I'm 19 and getting married next summer too.  I love this man and he is my best friend and my life partner.  We've been together since I was in middle school and we've grown up together and are still growing together.  I think it's amazing to find a love like this when you are so young.  Don't worry about what everyone else thinks - count your blessings that you have something that some people NEVER find.  \n\nJust be sure you have the same goals, and plans for the future.  For example, in a few years you are going to want a son or daughter with him also.  I am sure you love his son like your own but the time will come when it will drive you crazy that he is not your own and you need to make sure he will be willing to have more children.
156708
Your brother is down right disrespectful, yes your parents should get married if thats what they want. Since when did the 15 yr. old become the parent?
249806
i feel sorry for you. i have a similar situation. my boyfriend's mother doesn't like me as well. we have been together for more than 4 years now.  what i suggest is you discuss this matter with your boy and try to win your future mother in law.  if you can't just fix your relationship with your man and just ignore her.  what's important is that you and your man are madly inlove with each other.
297210
Go ahead and get him..its as legal as it ever can be..\nAS long as you dont want ur brother-in-law for urself i dont see why there should be any problem..\nIf u love him go get him\nInvite me when u two get married...\nBest of luck
118490
If Dad, you and your fiance are all good with this, and your fiance realizes that this may or may not do real damage to his (and your) relationship with his mom and grandma, have your wedding where you wish, but please don't press your fiance into choosing to honor your wishes over his mother, only do it if you're really sure he feels okay about it.
508076
first of all you might be too young to realize that if his dad passed away his mom is all he has. He might not like to leave her because he is scared of loosing her too.  She probably raised him and  i can aonly assume tha they are very close. I get that you think it is unattractive, but that is because at 15 you are too young to understand that this is much deeper than being just a mamas boy.
308335
Your "boyfried" has other, much more serious, things to be doing and taking responsibility for right now.  At 18 he's an adult with a family of his own - why would you even consider dating him?!  Is this what you want for your own life - a guy who has a baby to you then is off to the next 15 year old?  I doubt this will remain a friendship - if it does encourage him to support the baby and it's mother as he should.  Get YOUR priorities in order!!  You deserve much better!  Figure out what you want from life, work hard in school to get it, and stay focused.  Boys at this stage will mess up your goals much more than help them!  Good luck to you and God bless you.
248729
I think he has not yet overcome his being a bachelor that he prefers his friends than family.  As far as I know, most responsible husbands & fathers prefers family first than friends or his bestfriend is his family, other friends just follow.
192830
First of all, it isn't his Mom's choice.  When I got married after dating for 3 years, my husbands Mom cried and cried because I was Jewish and not Catholic.  Threats were made, and she never approved.  My parents were the complete opposite.  I do not care if it is money, religion, race, etc. a Mom will find anything wrong with her son's choice.  It also does not matter if you are smarter than him.  What does that have to do with the price of beans?\nI'm sure she didn't approve of you because you were underage when you met.  I'm sure you had sex with him also and he could have been put in jail for both of your actions.  You were a minor and he was not.  That may be something she is angry at.  I would not be pleased to see my 20 year old son going after a 15 year old.  I do consider it wrong and very inappropriate.  Have you ever considered this as why she is upset?  I think you both need to sit her down and talk to you both.  \nAnd so what if he is cut out of the Will...he didn't make the money...his parent(s) did.  That should not be an issue in the first place.\nTo tell you the truth, you seem to have an issue with money, intellegence and you trying to defend yourself not being a social climber and a gold digger, makes me wonder.\nBut it is your life.  You are in love and she doesn't have a say in anything.  She had her turn to say yes to the man she loves, now it is your turn (and her son's turn).\nGo on with the wedding.
232606
I'm personally all for eloping, but in your case, it seems it might cause more problems than solutions.\n\nYou and your fiance need to have a clear plan established for how you are going to handle his controlling mother.  If he feels 'loyalties' to her now, he will when you are married.  And in-laws can be a great source of tension in new marriages.\n\nHow much would it really bother your parents if you eloped?  Mine know I plan to do that, and it still hurts them a bit that they won't be there.  Make sure you won't be hurting them outwardly.\n\nHow about a compromise, go to the courthouse with your immediate family members and get married.  Then in Sept you can hold a celebration party.\n\nGood luck.
666321
The first part of your question, You being 18 and he being 24 is fine your both adults and personal I see nothing wrong with that at all. \nThe fact that he has a past well that is normal most do. Him looking younger does not mean much either. It is great he has a kid but is he resposible and doing what he can to help support his child? If he isn't he should be because not only is it the right thing to do it will also show he is being a responsible adult. \nAcceptence into a family is the rough part here because I do not know you background to offer the best advice. Some people will never accept him because of their beliefs. We live in such a time where many make mistakes, so you would think we can learn to forgive and not judge them for their past but that is not always the case. \nKeep in mind your an adult and can make your own choices. Although I would not tell you that you should disrespect your parents. \nIf I were in your shoes this is what I would do. I would tell my parents that I needed some time with them alone and work it out where everyone can get together. I would say I have this guy I met and I have been getting to know. Everything I have learned about him is great. (this part you give a few examples). He has stolen my heart but he has past. (explain about his child). Now I know that you look down on this type of thing and I know that he is not perfect but I am willing to love him for the man he is not the man he use to be. I want you meet him and accept him as I have. \nThis may or may not work because i do not know your parents but the key thing here is talk calmly and respectfully and listen to what they tell you even if it isnt what you want to hear. \nI wish you luck and I hope this all turns out for you.
252499
My mom was 19 when she married my dad and he was 26.  They've been married over 25 years.  My husband and I were both 19 when we got married and we couldn't be happier.  The question is, are you two mature enough to get married.  Remember that marriage is a very big step.  People don't take it seriously anymore.  If you chose to get married, honor your vows, and remember, God will always consider the first person you marry to be your spouse unless the marriage is annulled.  You have to put that person first in everything you do and they need to do the same.  It really helps to go to a counselor before saying "I do".  I don't believe there is a certain age to get married but I do believe alot of people get married before they are ready.  Good luck!
314473
I've been on both sides of this. I lost my mom when I was only 4 years old. My dad remarried almost right away. I was too young at the time to say anything. But later he divorced her and started dating again when I was like 12 years old. None of my siblings were happy about it. We wanted our dad to ourselves.  Well, they got married. We haven't always liked her or got along. But, my dad is happy and that's all that mattera. I've been on the other side too. I dated a man who had two teenage kids. Him and his wife had divorced recently. The kids did not want their dad to date. They made life very difficult and caused me a lot of heart ache. I really liked them and just wanted to get to know them. In the end I simply couldn't do it anymore and I left. He's dating again but I think he's talked to his kids since then and they are a lot more accepting. Moral of the story: If they make your dad happy try to be happy for him. I'm sorry for your loss.
650444
No, Don't get offended. Sometimes a son always see the person that is with their father as someone who is trying 2 replace their mom. But, at the same time, he does what to show his dad that he loves him. That said, does not mean he don't like u. He just loves his father more, & the wife is gonna go with whatever works for her husband.
362434
Basically, I think your mother is right. It is your job as a parent to protect both your children.  This situation is not good for either of of them.  This is your husband's father but If he is not able or willing to stand up for his children then you will have to take a stand with both your husband and his father.  He may feel more for one child than another but he should never let the children know that he has those feelings.  I brought two daughters into a second marriage, had three more children and my in-laws never made any difference between them.  It never occurs to my five children that they are anything but full blood brothers and sisters.
485110
Depends how he was raised...I knew a guy who was very close to his mum and she had him at a very young age too. They had a relationship more like they were friends than mother and son and they talked about everything. She was his best friend. i didn't think it was weird, she was one cool lady, the kind of mum you could take out clubbing with you. She just raised him to be totally open with her about everything and that if he needed advice she was the one to ask. Don't get too freaked about it, he was just obviously raised differently to you, that's all.