He is one of my older sisters bestfriends. He dated one of her old bestfriends for about 5 years. That ship has long since sailed with him. A couple weeks back we fooled around, but we were drunk. So I am thinking that he must have some feelings for me 'cause when you're drunk, the truth usually comes out. I asked a friend, but she says "you guys were drunk." I have my own theory on drunk behavior and that is, you can control yourself. You damn well know yes from no, so being drunk is no excuse. We cuddle sometimes, but not kiss (I am pretty sure we both want to). I am so torn...What should I do?
216939
Talk to him, not while fooling around, or intoxicated.  Express to him how you feel about him.  That you enjoy being close to him, and long for his kiss.  Be forward about this, take the risk.\n\nRisks are easy enough to evaluate, is the potential for a positive result, outweighing the potential for a negative result?  My assumption here, is that somewhere inside of him, he desires you, him cuddling with you is a good indication of that.  He likes being close to you.  So take the risk.
246314
Sounds like he gets your pulse racing.  Love to hear about those feelings.  Im jealous.  All that aside, So you like him and he likes you, whats the problem?  Oh, the girl...that could be a problem if she doesnt know about your bisexuality.  I don't see anything wrong unless someone might get hurt...hhhmmm.
546339
i assume you werent interested. \n\ni think you are still friends...\njust make sure that you dont bring it up...if she brings it up, just tell her that you were really drunk and cant remember what happened. \n\nforget about it...totally...and dont talk to anyone else about it.
252806
He's shy. Sometimes your true feelings come out when you drink. Don't worry, just keep loving him and one day he'll be brave enough to tell his feelings to you too.
421983
WOW! This is CRAZY! I am in the exact, I mean exact same situation! I have a guy friend (best friend at that) and he is a little bit attractive, and I know he is in love with me because he tells me so, but I do not have romantic feelings towards him. Sometimes I get the urge to let things go further (physically) but in the long run, I never let it get that far. I believe, if something is mentally stopping you from going further with him, then you should listen to your gut feeling. It might also make things complicated after you initially sleep together. He'll be calling you all the time, crying about his love for you and whatnot, and you will have to tell him (once again) that you don't have feelings for him. Trust me, this is what happened when I slipped up and accidentally kissed my guy friend....but either/or, GOOD LUCK!!!
216129
It is so nice that you care so much about  both your friend and you.\n\nYou see whatever happened has happened. It can't be changed. So either you find ways to move on or you just slack back.\n\nYou said you are best friends. A lot of things happen between best friends you know so this should not be a hard one to tackle. It happened because you were both passionate about each other. It now appears you are both bi. No big deal.\n\nFirst you said you liked him and now you are saying you don't know if you like him. NO problem about that, you will soon know if you like him or not.\n\nHowever, since you said you have not seen him in a month and this whole thing is getting into you, well i think is about time you talk with him. It does not matter if you are different persons or not, you still have to find out where you stand. You need to talk with him and find out if you are both embarassed about the things that happened and if you still want to be best of friends. If you both still want to keep on having sexual feelings for each other, well that is when to find out, by talking to each other. Please tell him your mind, what you think, what should stop, what should go on and stuffs like that. It will work out.\n\nYou and i both know you don't want to lose a friend like him. Then i think it's about time you spoke to him.\n\nPlease don't feel shy. OK. Open up and tell him every single thing in your heart.\n\nYou will definitely find your answer. Keep it cool and GOOD LUCK.\n\nHave fun too.
411092
You telling him about the kiss made him jealous, which he responded by allowing a girl to give him head.  Guys like to feel that they are the best.  By you showing attention to another man, he felt less important to you and responded the only way he knew how.  If he is the kind of guy that will try to hurt your feelings every time you hurt his then you should not date, and definitely shouldn't be friends.  I would start dating him casually and let the trust build from there.  The only sad thing is, is that if this does not work out then you are probably going to lose a friend.
442607
It sounds like he does like you but is to into drinking to slow down and carry on a relationship. If you feel like you can put up with it when you get in a relationship then talk to him but if he has trust issues and you get in a relationship he probably wont like you getting upset about his drikning.
525287
Hold on to your virtue sister.  It is ok to have him as a friend.  Better a friend than an enemy.  There was probably no hard feelings when he went his own way.  He probably still likes you but he is just a man who will get it any way he can.
403749
Anita...it's important to think about whether you really want to be in a relationship with a man who sounds like an alcoholic. I would also question the character of anyone who is talking about beating people up. Drunk and potentially violent is a scary combination. Do you want to deal with a drunk?  What happens if YOU anger him...will he beat you up too?
497380
I had the same problem he loves you he has been hurt before and thats why he wont express his feeling sober but when he is drunk he lets his guard down and it all comes out me and my man been together for 8yrs now and he was the same way going into the 2nd yr he started telling me how he felt when he was sober and it was the best feeling in the world that he finally shared his feelings good luck honey
469980
Sure he likes ya.. (he is crazy about you!) It shows again and again in what you write above! YES you are perceptive about that 'guy code.' I think he's got to work some things out in his head .. this is hard to do BUT it will pay off.. Give it a couple more months. Don't push it! You know one important thing (and it's a biggie) that this guy has got 'good morals..' If he's being respectful of his friends (I think it's kool) think how great and respectful he will be of YOUR feellings?! Am I right? This guy sounds like a real keeper, hon. You are doing o.k. too by the way by playing it cool.. keep it 'casual.'  Play back his 'hey, what's up?' to him. (Real kool how he stayed w/ya and slept there, didn't touch ya.. that what ya wrote, right? he was awkward in the morning..) He sounds like he is not going to cheat on you. (He sounds like a real dear.) I say GO for it!!!!!!
609852
I would say it's just like kissing a boy, but if you are a tradionalist who wants the "guy" to make the first move (like me) I know how confusing it can be.  Just wait 'til the moment's right, when y'all are alone.  You can compliment her or do something to get a little closer (the dumbest thing I ever did was take off my glasses and say, "look, they're broken," and as soon as she looked up, puzzled, I kissed her) and then just let things take their course!  Of course, all that is assuming you know she's be ok with that, because, not to burst your bubble, but it's one thing to be ok with your best friend being attracted to you, and another for her to feel something back.  If everything is go, just don't force anything, and have fun!  ; )
437392
`Is the guy single?  Is he dating your friend?  If he is, would you want your best friend to stab you in the back?  If he is single then perhaps it may he may be fair game?  In any case, I would choose friendship over love.  Plenty of people out there in this world to date.
669944
I'd have to say he's being protective in this case. If everyone happened to be really drunk as you said and you and your BF were not. He was doing the only thing he knew how to prevent a situation from escalating into something potentially dangerous to you. Just give him a hug and a kiss and tell him thank you for looking out for you. I could only say he was over reacting if Sam were sober and joking around with you and your BF heard the conversation and went off even after knowing Sam was just jesting then it would be over reaction on the BF's part.
308737
He sounds like he's really possessive, insecure and a loser.  Drop him now before your relationship goes on much longer.  The truth always comes out when a person is drunk.  It may take several more months before his true personality comes out.  But you got a good preview while he was drunk....)(
380449
Sweetheart - if he was absolutely hammered and said he had no recollection of doing anything then he must've been unconcious. From my experience when I guy is absolutely blotto then they are usually incapable of having sex at all! (if you know what I mean). \n\nYes, he may have been drunk, and yes, he may have regretted it but for him to say that he was so drunk that he didn't remember a thing.....don't believe it. \n\nPlus this whole thing about being angry with you - absolutely no excuse. I get angry with my boyfriend sometimes but I don't go out and shag the nearest bloke to me. \n\nThe reason why he's taken 3 weeks to tell you was probably because he was deeply ashamed, and probably scared that you'd tell him to pack his bags and leave. That fact that you guys have been together for 5 years makes things even more difficult to try and deal with so no wonder you think you're losing the plot! If this was a relationship that you'd been in for a year or less then I would advise you to dump the loser and move on with your life. But the fact that you guys have been together for 5 years - that says a lot. Plus, people do tend to think that if they can get away with something they ususally try to, so i applaud for your boyf for having the guts to tell you.\n\nYou need to seriously think about whether you'll be able to forgive him for this. People can think they can forgive a partner for cheating etc but what usually happens is that they don't. Every time you guys have an argument, the fact that he cheated on you may rear its ugly head. Everytime he goes out with the boys, will you really be able to trust him? Everytime he looks at another girl, how will you feel?\n\nWhat do you want from the future? Can you see this guy being the guy you settle down with? If you can, then you need to learn to be strong, forgive him and forget (in the best way you can) about this horrid little incident. \n\nIf I were you, I would sit down and talk to your fella and tell him exactly how this has made you feel. If you feel that you're strong enough to forgive him, and he promises never to do anything nearly resembling this again, then go for it and I really wish you both the best for the future. If you feel that you would find it impossible to forgive, then tell him that you feel absolutely so betrayed that you cannot see a way in your heart to forgive him, and that you must move on. It will hurt, but ultimately you'll be fine in the long run. \n\nRemember that time is a great healer, whatever you decide to do.\n\nGood luck chica! xx