Help, I have a family member struggling with a severe borderline personality disorder, it often approaches suicidal tendencies - we were told to seek professional help, but we can not afford it.  What other options do we have?  Thank you
218512
Try the health department where you live or catholic charities they will give you referals.
190652
i don't believe that suicide can be completely avoided unless you avoid it yourself. (meaning you can't help her not do it for sure) but get her to see a therapist or call (888) SUICIDE or (888) 784-2433. You, nobody can help her completely but try it and hopefully it will delay this outcome, but if she is really serious than I don't think it can really stop, only be avoided. I know, i am suicidal and have been for a year now, but therapy has helped, but not even six therapists can make it go away. sorry, i'm a brutally honest person.
243291
Have you tried discussing this with her. Therapy and counseling are the only ways to help her. The biggest problem is that she has to want to go and needs to realize her own problem. Good luck.
435664
talk to her each day to make sure she took her medication and that she makes the Dr. appointments, now more than ever.  If you really want to help, go with her to see the mental health professional and ask with her what you should/can do and what you should avoid/report.  And just be there, even if she can't see you sometimes. Bi-polar is hard enough with out something so horrible happening on top of it all. She is lucky to have you care so much for her. Most bi-polar people have few close/long term relationships even with family. God bless you and your family in this painful time.
433796
Were you aware of her diagnosis before marrying her and were you educated? I work with chronic mentally ill people and believe you me I know what you are talking about. It takes a very strong person to deal with BPD.  I have never seen anyone with BPD get better with age. They just learn bigger and better ways of getting attention. Very hard to deal with especially when they are in the world of "ME" that is how I describe them. They are worse than any 12 year old.  I think it depends on how much you are willing to put into this marriage and if you have the strength. I have a friend who stayed in his marriage for 16 years (has 11 yr old daughter he has custody of now) and I watched him suffer dealing with her being hospitalized and she was really abusive. He thought he was obligated to take care of her, therefore, neglecting himself. He is now divorced from her and still at times keeps in touch just to be sure she is safe. She is doing fine. They know how to get their way. Anyway, it just depends on you and how strong you are. Are you willing to live this way the rest of your life? Good Luck to you and God Bless!!!
666905
My dad had a girlfriend a while back that has a brother with an inflicted brain injury causing severe mental incapacity and loss of function. She told me about going to groups, and how she found out about how to deal with caring for her brother under such conditions. One of her sources of info was a group she found on the web years ago, since dissolved. Here are a few other options. Good luck, blessed Be.
602790
This can be addressed with medication and therapy.  Please contact your local mental health facility for advice.  Before you sic the health department on your family member or start pitching stuff out behind their back, please at least do this.  If you just take over and do things for them, it takes away all their control, and they literally may never speak to you again.  If you care about them,  get them some help but be compassionate.\nThis is an invaluable site for some insight for you and them:\nhttp://www.squalorsurvivors.com
129214
Reaching out is always a good but tough step.  The best person to ask would be a local mental health practitioner - be it a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist or therapist.\n\nBeyond that, it would depend on the area that you are in or would like to go to.  I've attached a link to the National Mental Health Services Information website.  You can click on your state, then click on the 'locator', choose your city and see what services are available.\n\nI'd also consider contacting the Depression and Bi-polar Support Alliance.  It is a patient run support organization and they are in nearly every community and might be able to refer your to a good residential treatment facility.  Depressed Anon is similar and might also be able to help.\n\nAdditionally, the American Residential Treatment Association might be able to help find a facility nearby, though they are limited.
123526
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You need psychological help now. It is not a shameful thing to seek help. In fact, it shows that you are smart enough to do something to help yourself. If you committed suicide, your family and friends would miss you terribly! Don't do this to yourself or to them.\n\nPS - I just read your other question about your sexual, physical and emotional abuse. If this is behind your problem, you should not let your abuser win. Don't pay attention to anyone who says suicide is the coward's way out. They probably never had to deal with depression or with your issues. Suicide may look like the best way out, but I believe you are too smart a person to kill yourself. I do think that there is some sense of self-worth in you... something that will keep you going.
519158
He needs to go to a therapist. please have him go for help, and stop torturing himself! First of all he has to face his issues, then he needs to learn to forgive him self!
507241
Therapy and medication if your therapist and you decide that is the route to go.  You are not alone in your diagnosis.  At least you know what the issue is, continue with therapy as long as you need to and don't feel bad for having BPD - it's nothing  you asked for, and nothing YOU can control.  God bless!!!!
627551
Wow, they should be gracious to still have you. Why don't you all work together and help eachother out? Why all this seperation? A family is supposed to be a team, and there is no "I" in team. I would suggest that you all get counseling honestly...before it does kill you. Get help, all of you.
251216
Smiley,\n\nIf you can, get yourself into inpatient treatment.  If that's not possible:\n\nGet yourself into Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT).\nGet another counselor, preferably one w/ a PhD.  \nGet yourself in to see a psychiatrist (if you don't have on already).\n\nPeace be w/ you.
485773
These people can be very, very needy. One minute, you're their world, their best friend, the next, you're their worst enemy. People with this disorder are hard to get along with, they need constant attention and if they don't get it, they will turn against you.\n\nEx. of what they might do - they might call you 20 times in one night to chat and if you try to tell them at 4am that you're tired and want to sleep, it'll be the end of the world for them, they'll feel like you hate them and want nothing to do with them.\n\nThese individuals are frienship extremists.\n\nI suggest reading up on this disorder in the DSM-IV.\n\nSweet's answer is right. \n\nPS multiple personality disorder (now known as dissociate identity disorder) and bipolar disorder are NOT the same thing as borderline personality disorder!!!!!!!!!!
208430
people who say that are hurting but are either afraid to kill themselves are hoping life will get better but don't know how. If you can please try to get help for him .
256559
basically find a local family therapist to help guide you in this very tough time... you need to discuss this matter at length with someone who is capable of guiding you thru this...
530044
What a great question!  You have a way with words as you describe the situation that you're facing so well.  I couldn't have done it better myself.\n\nI'm 26 yrs old and have been diagnosed with BPII/BPD and have have major substance abuse problems.\n\nI can completely relate as I've been struggling with the same issue with my father and I appreciate you sharing this with us.  \n\nIt's difficult to have other people see you while you're dysphoric and at your weakest.  This is a time where you expect compassion and when you're parents don't only fail your expectations, but go completely against them, it can be very hurtful.\n\nWhen things blew up with me, I got my a$$ handed to me by my folkes, because my behavior was simply wearing them out.  With the drugs, the police, the hospital visits, I was becomming a huge source of stress and anxiety for them.  They never took the time to understand.  That made things a lot worse for me, I was sad to be in the house, but didn't have any where else to go at the time.\n\nI knew I needed help and I didn't want to be complacent, so I reserached treatment options myself, they wouldn't lift a finger.  The dynamic in the house was as if everyone was walking on eggshells.  It was very uncomfortable.  I was very hurt that I couldn't get the support I needed and built a very strong resentment towards them, I was ready to write them off.\n\nThe emotional pain and quality of living was getting worse, so I had to do something.  I reconnected with my Psychiatrist, got my meds straitened out and began attending Pyschotherapy, support groups and getting support from people outside my family.  For the last three months, I've worked really hard in regaining stregth and my sense of self and it's done wonders for me.\n\nJust recently, my father was talking to me about his best friends daughter, who is suffering with mental disorders and receiving therapy.  He went on to say, that she was extremely needy and fucI(ed in the head - which was his way of taking a shot at me, as he is fully aware I'm going through the same thing.  Next, he talked about quitting smoking and I told him about Zyban, he said that his mind is strong enough to quit addiction without meds - ohhhhh another shot to your son who is in recovery, taking meds no less.   A few months ago, I would have left the room in a fit or put him in his place right then and there.  \n\nSince I leveled my moods out and get support outside the house, I was feeling really good about myself and sat there calm and collected.  I thought about how I was going to respond, I know that he's old school, he didn't grow up in the information age, he thinks psychiatry is a pseudo science and associates looks at it with the stereotypical stigma attached to it.  I also thought that this was his house and I'm not going to lash out and cause any trouble.  That was the last thing I needed amongst the scheme of things.\n\nI responded quite calmly, "Why do you think she's needy?  Do you think she's faking it or that she's using it as an excuse for attention?"  He didn't respond with any logical type of answer and changed the subject, but I stuck with it.  Then I asked him, "I'm under intensive psychotherapy right now and take meds and it's helped me a great deal.  Do you think I'm needy as well?"  He said no, he actually said he noticed a difference in my behaviors and he was proud of me and knew that I was working hard to get better.\n\nI think he feels really guilty inside for going off on me.  I think deep down inside he was scared and didn't know how to deal with me.  I think my parents paniced and saw flaws in me that live inside them and their natural defense mechanism is to take it out on me.  It's the age old habit of self loathing.\n\n I'm still not over it and he knows that and I can see it in his eyes that he was sorry about what he&