no sex since I conceived, now my daughter is already 5 months old, i'm very attractive, already back in shape, probably just bring no excitement to him anymore & I feel the same toward him, but it's so strange since most marriages men are the one that's not getting enough. Is that a reason to divorce or should I cheat?
214255
Did he watch the birth?  Did you have a c-section or vaginal birth?  My wife told me that some men get turned off by watching the birth and seeing a baby come out where they are used to having sex, and it totally turns them off of sex with their wife.  She knew several people this happened to.  \n\nTalk with him, see what is going on.  Maybe he is having an affair, maybe this is what is going on.  Listen to his concerns and see what you can do to help.  \n\nYou cheating won't help, it will make it worse.  Focus on your relationship and try to fix it, don't find somebody else.  You can use a vibrat0r or di1do in the meantime to get off pretty easily.
423907
although sex is pleasurable....continue to do what you wanna do! if you guys are comfortable without sex then so be it! just continue being happy in your marriage! don't let other people tell you about YOUR marriage! YOU and HIM are married not everyone else, so their comments on YOUR MARRIAGE shouldn't matter.
9068
My husband kind of did something similar to me..and I can tell you dragging it out only hurt me more.  Although he cheated, lied, etc.  I did want to be sexual, he didn't always, but in the end my ex just wasn't ready to settle down.  It can be harder if you have kids (as we did) but you can still be in their life and be a good father if you and their mother are seperated.  Just make sure nothing else is what is actually bothering you...before jumping..grass isn't always greener on the other side.
282556
Ah, I am sorry to hear how much this is upsetting you, and I feel sorry for him as well. I wish I had a crystal ball to look into and find out what's really going on here. Something's fishy. \n\nAt the start of many sexual relationships, the lovemaking is hot! It's natural for sex to wane over time and you two were very busy. I sense that there's an undercurrent you need to ferret out, as it seems that he is flat-out avoiding sex with you. \n\nAsk yourself some basic questions: when did things change? Was there an incident that you can remember? Has there been a gradual decline? Has putting on weight, having children, a change in income/earnings or something like that happened? \n\nAs for the importance of this to your relationship, although national studies have shown disparate results, sex is not usually the number one issue in saving a marriage. However, if it's a top need for you and it compounds your feelings of inadequacy, erodes your self-esteem, makes you feel unloved or affects your ability to feel good about yourself in general, then it's time to have a serious heart-to-heart with him. Be gentle when you talk about it and try to understand what's bothering him. After that, you may need to seek professional help either together or alone — or give him up in the end.
467419
There is nothing wrong with wanting sex all the time and it is hard when one person seems disinterested.  You have some idea if he is under stress or if he is tired all the time so I won't go that route with this answer.  I also won't go down the is he cheating path because if you had some concern about that you would have mentioned it in your question.  I would ask you to think about what was going on before you got married when the two of you were having sex regularly.  Were the two of you living together??  Were you the one who initiated it all the time??  Alot of times we have the answers to the question we pose you simply need to look into your history with your husband.  I asked you the questions above because a similar thing happened in my marriage.  I was distracted and very busy not to mention I was very tired all the time and I felt as if I didn't want to disappoint my wife by not having the energy that I normally had.  So she felt I had to be out there doing something with someone because I was not doing it enough with her.  Desire is what fuels sex so you have to "get back on your husband's mind".  How, well some times a little shock could be the key.  In your question you say you are thinking about getting it elsewhere, tell him that.  Yeah I said it, tell him that he is frustrating you and though you don't want to cheat, he makes you feel as if you want to cheat.  Now don't dare cheat because it is not worth it.  You wouldn't want  him to cheat on you.  Tell him that making love is very important to you and that you are not trying to be selfish but that you need and want to show affection.  From the wording of your question, you seem like you are willing to do what it takes to make him happy.  My other suggestion is to be patient.  You might have to accept a compromise where you might have to get it twice a week instead of everyday.  One thing is for sure, sex cannot be the defining issue in your marriage.  You have to find a way to communicate what you are feeling and act with the information that you receive.\n\nGood Luck
208575
NO. not at all. First of all, I would like to congratulate you two. You're a match made in heaven. Basically, the bible states that sex is a blessing given to married couples. If you're just living together and not having sex, that's absolutely perfect. It's the most exciting thing you can have once you get married. But if you guys are married but not having sex... then there really is a problem behind that. Try talking to your partner about that.
77634
I just sat here for several minutes, thinking about how to answer your question...and I can't think of anything other than: I don't think you should get married if you aren't sexually attracted to him. But, there are other factors to consider such as...\n\n1. Is he sexually attracted to you?\n2. Perhaps he's also not as interested in having a sexual marriage? If this is the case, you could marry him with a clear conscience.\n3. Have you even tried sex? (you didn't specify this, so I guess it's a possibility that you simply haven't tried yet)\n4. How have you typically reacted to stressful situations? Maybe you are just a bit (understandably) stressed out with the wedding and things might get back to normal afterwards.\n5. But were you ever sexually attracted to him?\n\nIf you are having doubts and it's this close to the wedding, I'd call it off. I know, I know, impossible to do...but I was having doubts of a similar fashion and I wish I had called mine off. Divorce is even worse.\n\nThere are lots of men out there and each one is very different sexually. How important is it to you? Sex is important in a marriage, but not the most important. On the other hand, it can be VERY important to some people. Are you one of those?\n\nDo take the time to look within yourself. Get above the excitement of the wedding and ask yourself some hard questions. I'm sorry this is happening to you at this time.\nGood luck.
97712
Not making love for over 2 months is not normal behavior.  Feeling anger about it is justified but not healthy behavior.\n\nTalk to your husband.  Find out the cause of why you two haven't made love in 2 months.  Let him know you feel resentment about it.  Later on you can worry about how to spice things up.\n\nSuggest counseling or seeing your pastor/priest/spiritual leader.\n\nGood luck!
526874
you need marriage counseling. If that is not an option then I would say it is time for divorce. I would first try counseling but, it sounds like your marriage is not working. This happens a lot. Nothing is wrong with you, maybe someone in this relationship is cheating? It seems like it.. Good luck, just keep reminding yourself, you are not to blame if he is cheating, also, i am sure it is not you as the reason on why you dont have sex and why you fight all the time, it takes two. I would suggest counseling first.
591183
If you are married and feeling lonely, \nthere is a huge chance your wife is feeling the same way too.\nIs it ok for her to resolve the lonliness by cheating on you?\n\nHow much effort will you have to put into an affair?  How much danger is there it will backfire?\n\nWouldn't it be easier to "renew" your relationship with your wife?  I mean actually DATE your wife. \nIf you devote the same amount of time to your wife, minute for minute, hour for hour, that you would in seeking, establishing and carrying out and affair, you could easily renew and improve your marriage.\n\nYou can not do that while having PRIDE.\nGet rid of pride, woo your wife, flirt, date, and compliment her again, and\nI don't doubt she will melt in your arms\nand give you what you need in attention,\nreturned flirting, appreciation, and intimacy.\n\nYou will never fix your marriage by poking into the wrong places.\nYou need to turn into your marriage, and renew, and establish what you want.\nLOVE is not dead, it is just been neglected\nby one or both of you.  \nPay more attention to the girl you promised to take care of and love for better or worse.\n\nThen when you are old and fat and ugly, she will take care and stay loyal to you.\n\nI wish you love\nstw
602491
Emily, first before you can do anything about changing the way you feel you need to find out why he stopped wanting to have sex with you. Sometimes men see us as Mothers instead of a wife when we are pregnant and that stops them, when they are like it this it does break that bond as wife and husband. If he is cheating then you need to find out why he has done this to you and his daughter. Talk with him and not in a accusing way but just tell him how your feeling and that you want to get close to him again. I have no idea why a man would do this.
670776
Yes... it's plain and simple....men can't resist temptation or sex. He can love you and still have a need to play. All men go through this and it stinks. You can either divorce him and end up with another man who does you this way too or just work through the crisis and move on with your lives as a married couple. Just because we're married doesn't mean our husbands aren't human. Men aren't women and they just don't think well when all the blood rushes from their brains to their penis. If he doesn't want to leave then don't worry....he wouldn't trade you in for the world. I bet if you were to start dressing up and going out now and then he would become very worried and think about what he's done even more. Either way, don't you dare blame yourself or believe it's your fault for any reason at all. Realize that he's got the problem and don't allow it to consume you. Instead do the reverse and show him exactly what he left at home that is so much better!!!
337516
your right cheating should not be the result. If you no longer love your husband and think you would be better off alone-if things don't work out with your new love then you should leave. your kids can sense if your not happy and being in a loveless marriage is not healthly for anyone. I am leaving with 2 young boys after giving him 8 years to change because I no longer love my husband who has been abusive and I was tempted to cheat also. However,I may not have a chance now with the other man as he has moved on but decided I will be better alone and my kids will be better with a single mom then they are staying with a family under one roof when there is no love and they can't get along or there is no communication at all.
125174
most ppl end in divorce for one reason or another and think that after 13 yrs it isnt possible..\n\nme and hubby been together since 98 and will be married 3 yrs in august..both in our 40's..my 1st marriage and his 2nd..his 1st wife died about 22 yrs ago...\n\ni think alot of ppl are jealous of your relationship..i say the hell with them...you married the right one and also after 13 yrs know that marriage is not a game..it can take alot of work but it is possible\n\ni find myself loving my hubby more and more and its the small things that add up that make the difference and it is not about money either..we both work and have seperate bank accounts so this knocks out fighting over money..my son is grown and gone and his son and daughter are grown and gone...i pay certain things around here and he pays certain things..the rest is split up and some things are if you see it is needed you buy it..no problems there...with the common denominators not present that doesnt leave us much to argue about...lol...kids and money....when we do argue it is usually about that time of the month for me and also i am in perimenopause so when my hormones go haywire  he knows it..9 times out of 10 he will go to his garage and stay until he knows i have calmed down.\nwe talk everything out  even if it take a few days but i would not trade him in for anything\n\neven if we are fighting we still tell each other i love you before going to bed, leaving for work or wherever or just say it upon entering the room..he still holds doors open for me, lets me order 1st in restaurant and so on...he is a gentleman out in public and at home..even holds the door open at home if we are going into the house at same time..we met through newspaper personal ads and i feel very lucky to have him in my life..before getting married i told him straight up marriage is a one time deal for me..his only escape would be death...lol...i asked him if he wanted to have a pre-nup and he said no..that just told me that he trusted andloves me and he will be here till we part this life\n\nso if ppl find it hard to believe you and your hubby are still in love and happy just assume they are jealous of what you have and what they dont have..i know it can happen\nand wish you well for another 50-60 yrs or however long you 2 live to be
502058
Maybe he is having problems preforming and he is insecure about it. I am 20 and my husband is 34 and we have been together for 2 years. Sometimes you still love each other and you still find one another attractive, but you just need a break from the sexual part of the relationship. Are you feeling pressure from the idea of marriage? Are you both stressed out in any way more than usual, maybe from planning a wedding? It all factors in, as long as you still love each other, it's OK. Sex isn't everything.
420991
I'm in the same boat as you and think you should keep away from fornication. Waiting until your wedding night really shows your new wife that you have waited your entire life to be with her. Sex has nothing to do with love; it is lust and really shouldn't be a factor outside of marriage because both participants know fine well after they have sex they have nothing moer they can give to one another. Outside of wedlock shows they are struggling to keep their relationship going. I know I may sound ignorant but thats the way I see things, it's the way I raised myself. Thinking of showing my devotion to my future (hopefully) wife rather than pleasing my own lust.
371375
wow!! your a much better man than any i know if you have been around for 7 months and no sex! i just turned 28 and i dont know how you do it!!! yep, you love this one for real!  i would sit down and have a deep conversation with her about your feelings.