Three weeks ago I met a guy who under the extreme influence of alocohol told me he was falling for me the same night I met him. The next day we hung out while sober and he still seemed to like me but his feelings were not as intense as the day before. He told me the night we met that he worked a lot, and now he very rarely calls and doesn't seem to care about hanging out, bc he says he's so busy at work. He works everyday for at least 8 hours. At this early stage is it reasonable for such little contact. Is he really just a workaholic and I should be patient, or is he just not that into me and I should give up?
210825
Ball is in his court as this point. You've done enough to make it clear to him that you're interested. Allow it to unfold at its own pace, and if it doesn't that's fine too. You've done what you could now let it take on its own life or not.
202354
YES!!!!  Call him but don't seem too desperate.  I guess only you two know if you gave it up easy or not.  There could be a long term potential but it has to be built on more than sex.  I say call, but don't be a stalker.  Lay the bait out ther and see if he will respond.  If he doesn't then you may want to walk away soon.  Sex confuses things.  Try to hang out one night without having sex.  That will tell you alot, because it will force him to talk.  Trust me, I've been there.. And without sex, talking is the only alternative- unless he bails, then you may have a lot of work on your hands.
273654
Two hours is nothing for him to drive and take you out or spend the day with you.  I would, if I liked someone and they equally liked me!  There is always the telephone in between times when you can't see each other.  Doesn't sound like a problem to me.
48306
Sweeet heart if he is worth you time then he is worth the effort. You can stop where he works start a little conversation you may compilment him about anything he is wearing, his smile. Or talk to him about anything maybe a movie any little thing.\n A great ice breaker is ask him if you could meet for coffee or something. Now you can take it from here.\n\nHave a great day Don
22487
He might have some issues.  I would move on from here.  He was great for the time you spent together, but that seems to be it.  If you are interested in him, go out a few times before shacking up again.  Not a good move, if you are interested in a relationship.
457048
Guys will not answer this question as honestly as the girls.  Well some might, but they tend to be too brutal.\n\nHe isn't interested anymore.  He's trying to let you down easy, but only because you're a co-worker and he probably doesn't want a scene at work.  Are you sure he isn't married?\n\nThe sad part is that you didn't see it coming.  Forget this jerk.  The only explanation I can give you that doesn't involve him being a total jerk is that perhaps your company has a policy against fraternization and his boss found out and warned him off.\n\nEither way he doesn't want you, accept it and move on.
643379
If you know his past then there should be no question, but since you asked.......... don't be available all the time, even if you want to hang out. It will put him to the test. Either he will stop calling, or he will call more which could mean that he is really interested. You say he has been a player ; start a game, but in order to win you have to have distance from him, and last but not least DON'T LOOSE YOURSELF!!!!!!!!! (really important) Know at all times who you are and what you want ; be a little selfish.
540170
well you mention two things,  calling every day, and plans ahead of time,,,,,,if he calls you a few times a week, he cares, like you said daily is a overkill,,,,,, also, calling daily doesnt reflect seriousness of emotion, or maturity,,, some who do the constant calling, want to see you every day, are actually less committed to you then others.... also, if you have seen each other a few dozen times in a month and a half, that sounds fine,,, as to making plans ahead of time, yes he should do that, also you can do that,  make plans for something on monday, for the weekend, or this week for next week.  while spur of the minute is ok sometimes, if  a guy cares, he will make plans more in advance..  and not leave it as catch as catch can
676932
Guys don't want to talk unless there's nothing else to do. Not always a sign of disintrest. But you were a one nighter. Keep calling. Don't over do it. After a few real dates let him know you like being with him then stop calling for a week or two. If he wants to proceed he'll call you. It might take 2 weekends before he calls. If he calls late at night on a weekend.... He'll be drunk and horny. Booty calls don't make girlfriends. You need to redefine yourself in his mind.
91843
Your first problem is that you work with him. Relationships at work never work out for the best. You would have to keep it on a professional level at work. Then if you guys broke up you would have to see that person everyday. Maybe he likes you but doesn't want to take the chance of going through all of this. Think this one through more and decide if it's really a good idea.
126760
When he was too drunk to pick me up at the airport after I'd been gone a week and had to call my daughter, who was at work, to go get me.\n\nI'd gone to visit my parents in part to take a week and think about the relationship and his drinking and whether this was a relationship that could be fixed.  He wasn't aware that this was the reason for the trip, he just figured I wanted to see my parents. I'd decided I was going to talk to him candidly about his drinking, which had gone from a couple nights a week, going out and having fun when we first started dating, to getting falling down, slobbering drunk in the bar with his friends every single night a mere year and a half later.  When he couldn't stay sober enough to come get me, though, I decided not to even bother having the conversation.  I just said "you've become a predictable disappointment and I don't ever want to see you again" (I had my daughter on standby because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to count on him to be there, but I hadn't told him that). That was the last time I ever saw him.  That was in October.  He has now met someone new and moved halfway across the country to be with her.  I guess if you're a drunk, it's a good idea to have someone in your life who can look after you.
268867
being at work doesn't mean he's really working on your relationship with you.\n\nIf he doesn't take time for you now, he won't later.  Drop him and let him come to you if that's what he really wants.  It sounds like he's looking for an excuse to leave the relationship.\n\nWhy waste your life while he tries to decide if he wants to spend time with you or not?
286215
Girl, I am in the same boat. I work days and then P/T at night. My honey works Night shift. When he comes home, I go to work. When I get home he's already gone to work. We only have small amounts of time to share, and sometimes it gets real tough.\nYou need to sit down and TALK. It's important to share your feelings with him. Tell him you love him and miss him. Make some special time, and rediscover the passion.  LOL to you.
246226
you r absolutely right and smart to stick to your schedules. thats how you flush out the big phonies!! trsut me there you did not lose anything precious here. if he ever call again dont even bother having anymore conversation with this pervert. learn from these expereince and fell out guys like that in the future!! good going girl!!
582973
You're obviously both mature adults so a lot of the answers you get may not be mature enough for your situation. You mentioned that this man is shy, embarrasses and suffers some from mild depression. The depression part would concern me with regards to the other two traits in that if he is having a few bad days in a row and avoids calling until he feels more in control of himself then the embarrassment and shyness may become a factor and he will prolong the call even more. This isn't going to grow your lines of communication so I'm thinking, considering his specific personality traits, you may have to take the role of aggressor in pursuing the time you spend together, whether that be in person or on the phone. Obviously with his overfilled work schedule and this tiring him then you would have to use common sense in when and when not to call him. I would suggest you ask him if there are times when the two of you could speak regularly on the phone that wont interfere with his work, time of rest and even his time needed or personal alone time. Once you've established this then you can build on a regular line of communication from there to setting aside specific planned times to be alone together in person. This is going to take work, patience and diligence on both your parts but I just get the feeling that he's not a pursuer but needs to be pursued to get his 'engines' running on all cylinders.\n\nBest Wishes & Good Luck!!
262481
My husband leaves me at home 7 days a week. He is a work alcoholic. He says he is not, but I disagree totally. The only time he will take a day off is when I finally blow up. But you can tell he wants to be at work. He LIVES for work only. He works nights which means he sleeps most the day and evening, gets up, eats and leaves for work again. It's not necessary for him to work all these hours, he chooses too. It's destroying our marriage. I tried to tell him, but he just doesn't see it. I too was brought to another city, no car, no job, no friends. And now, not even him. I give up. He just doesn't see that spending quality time together is important. I've talked until I can't talk anymore. Right now, I don't even care if I see him anymore. He has made me bitter. So, I would say, spend some quality time with the love of your life.
544871
It's the nice comfy sweatshirt thing.  You see, in moving 1/2 way across the country, he had to give up his home, the folks he casually said Hi to everyday, his favorite pizza joint, etc.  He's lonely at his new place and has decided he wants friends.  Instead of letting them develop, he wanted some already instant made.  Well, there you are.  He already knew you, etc.  \n\nI had this happen to me.  Yes, he's interested.  Yes, you can have a relationship.  However, with everything being new to him now (but him learning it later on) that there will come a time when he doesn't need so much attention ... and he may develop into the guy you knew when he was in town.\n\nI wish I could say "Go for it."  My problem with trying it out is that he really does need to stand alone for a little bit, so you aren't the sudden substitute for his lack of companionship.  It gets pretty draining and depressing being both a person's newfound companion but also his blame when he feels he needs other friends.  You don't need that.\n\nGood luck!