but if you are trying to fight for custody of your child to keep someone like one of those criminals from having any visitations you have to pay a attorney at least a $1500 retaner fee up front just to get something started.  I have been fighting with my ex-husband for 7 years now and this is the case.  He is always in and out of jail and in his criminal cases his lawyer is FREE, but when he is fighting me his mama and daddy pays it.  My parents are deceased and I have to work my butt off to keep my son from being in his home.  And our custody judge keeps slapping him on the wrist and telling him to straighten up.  He is 41 years old.  Am I the only on who thinks this world is all screwed up??
200786
Here's the problem.\n\nUntil someone has received a fair trial (and sometimes even then), it's often very difficult to determine if they really are guilty, or if they are innocent. Because the state/government has significant legal resources available, the only way to ensure a fair trial is to make sure the defendant/accused has legal representation.\n\nBut remember that the criminal defendant only has legal representation for the initial trial and any guaranteed appeals. They do not have unlimited access to an attorney for any other claims they wish to make. And even if the attorney is appointed by the state (meaning, free for the defendant), that's part of the taxes we pay.\n\nAs to CIVIL trials, the rules are different. Each side has to pay their own legal bills,  or get someone else to pay the legal bills. His parents are paying his. That's just one of the unfair realities of a society where money makes a difference.\n\nUnless you can find someone to pay your legal bills, or find an alternative, then there will be an imbalance. Have you looked at free/low-cost legal clinics, non-profit legal aid organizations, pro bono (free) legal referral services? There are options out there.\n\nThat being said, even with imbalanced legal representation, if the judge is doing his/her job, the fact that your ex has been in jail should count significantly toward qualifications as a parent. Just don't let the process intimidate you. Don't get emotional. Just make sure the court is aware of all the facts.
13893
How painful!  Have your attorney push for a way to get him into parenting classes before he even gets a minute alone with your daughter.  Make the hoops he needs to jump through cost him something.  He's not been a parent and it stands to reason that he should learn something of the skills required before he takes your child even one day.  At one time my husband and I were discussing divorce and custody and he told me he was going to fight for custody and I told him to be ready to pee in a jar ***** which backed him RIGHT off.  Have a talk with your daughter and let her know that she can tell you anything at anytime, even if her father tells her to keep it a secret or he's threatened her.  Let her know that she can always tell you anything and that the only reason grown-ups make little kids keep secrets is because the grown-up is doing something he's not supposed to.  That way, if he does do the unthinkable, you stand a much better chance of knowing soon and getting help immediately.  Just something to keep in mind.  Also, he will not now or ever get full custody of your child as long as your own nose stays clean.  The courts reeeaaaaalllllly see no reason to remove a child from their primary custodial parent unless there is some darn good reason.  It should be mentioned that he's chosen not to have any emotional attachment to this child by choice and that though he is her father, he is a stranger to her too.  Push for supervised visitation for a term of not less than 8 weekly visits.  Really.  It can be pointed out that it is not just in the child's best interests but also in the father's.  Talk to your attorney about a guardian ad lidum.  If the father is not current in child support, see if you can defray his visitations until he IS current.  Your attorney should know allllll this and should be able to fight hard on your child's behalf.
18161
Well, as a guy paying 1500 per month in child support for one child, I TOO see both sides of it. I agreed to pay this amount, and was not required to pay it. One of the other responders is correct, it varies from state to state, but runs about 20% of your pay. the fact is, I am more qualified, and financially responsible to raise my child. I have more energy, time, and general resources than my Ex-wife, but do you think I could EVER win custody, even though I am truly more qualified? No, never, not in a million years can a man win.. So for the average man, it is a lose/lose situation.. We lose a large percentage of our pay, and we lose much of our time with our child.. My lawyer said in the state of Texas, a woman has to have murdered someone to lose their child, and he claims there has not heard of a single case where the father was given custody without VERY extenuating circumstances. \n\nTo the person who said "they should have thought about that before they had kids".. Don't be an idiot. You must be 12 years old...
57144
Sorry this is so long, but bear with me.\n\nThe law begins with the premise that you are the father and share in the obligations of your own child's upbringing. What you are asking is to have an exception or an easing of the costs based on need because of financial strain or unfairness due to the inequity of paychecks. Your side will be the one to have to convince and persuade because her side has law. In the end, even a good persuasive argument may not stand if there are no laws with which to draw on in your favor.\n\nLook closely at your side then. I am not trying to attack your side by these questions. I am merely saying that such questions may be asked by the legal decision makers or legal financil aid providers and you need to know your side has the strength to convince. Here are some questions to be prapared on:\n\nIs your limited income due to irresponsibility - Did you have to get a new job because you were fired from your old one? Have you wasted reasonable opportunities to have a better job - For example, do you have a degree and qualifications for a better job but chose a low paying job instead?\n\nWill your income likely grow again in the near future - Eight years ago we moved to a new state and my husband had to begin over again on the payscale. We began that first year on less than 18K, but we moved up quickly to now being quite comfortable by regional average income standards. If you are likely to move up in pay, that will be taken into account especially if you are asking to be excused altogether from the burden of support.\n\nHow much money is needed to raise a child in the location in which this child is being raised - Surely 70K/year would be far in excess of expenses where we live and perhaps where you live. However, if your child is being raise in many of the large cities in the Northeast or California it may take about that much to survive there.\n\nIs the $70K all the income from your wife's side? Has she remarried and has her husband's income too? If so, is that 70K a combined income from her own and her husband's income?\n\nHave you provided more than monetary support? Have you been a father beyond the child support payment? If you have been actively engaged in your child's life you will have a more convincing argument than if you haven't had anything to do with him.\n\nWhat were the conditions leading to divorce? Obviously if divorce occured because she was unfaithful you will have a stronger side than if you were unfaithful or abusive. Some would think that if you messed up in these ways you made your own bed and by paying you are reaping what you have sown.\n\nHaving such information as her being able to afford Cancun while you are barely able to afford groceries is very helpful, but make sure no holes can be poked through it. Did she really use the child support money for that vacation? Was the vacation specifically in the child's interest. It doesn't sound like it, but again it is your side that will have to do the proving not hers.\n\nOK. That is the end of the questions. I hope you understand my motives are just to make you realize that you will be the one with the uphill battle. If you are using an overworked public attorney and she has an elite, smooth talking lawyer your side cannot afford to be unprepared for such questions.\n\nI do feel for you. I want to tell a true story that I feel applies when it comes to grace under unjust circumstances. I know a pastor who lovingly was counciling a man who asked him for help. This guy was having a secret affair with the pastor's wife the whole time that this pastor poured his energies into being a help to him. It all came out when she got pregnant. The pastor wanted to save the marriage in spite of it. Instead, she began lying and demanded a divorce. This poor man lost his pastorate becauset he congregation didn't want a divorced man leading their church. Because he lost that job, he couldn't get full custod
297141
FIRST OFF-I AM NOT A LAWYER-DON'T EVEN PLAY ONE ON TV-SO THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE-SIMPLY ONE PERSON'S INSIGHT--YOUR SON IS IN ONE MELOVA HESS--THIS GUILT BY ASSOCIATION THING IS BIG TIME STUFF THESE DAYS--THE SYSTEM SEES IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO 'CAST A WIDE NET'--DO NOT THROW YOUR SON'S PROSPECTS OF DECENT REPRESENTATION TO AN UNDERFUNDED, OVERWORKED, WISHING TO BE ANYWHERE ELSE THAN WHERE I AM PUBLIC DEFENDER'S CREW---HE WILL BE SUMMARILY SHOT THE MORNING AFTER THE TRIAL---------RETAINER---------THAT IS THE 'UP FRONT MONEY' PAID TO A LAWYER TO SECURE HIS SERVICES-- FOR LACK OF BETTER WORDS---AT AN EALIER TIME--AND IN SOME PLACES YET TODAY---IT IS CALLED 'EARNEST' MONEY--IT IS THE SEALER THAT (WHEN ACCEPTED) SAYS I AM WORKING FOR YOU AS NEEDED---THIS MONEY IS NOT--ONCE AGAIN  NOT  THE  PAYMENT OF THE BILL BY ANY MEANS--THE BILL WILL BE TALLIED OVER THE COURSE OF THE LEGAL SERVICES--AND SO BUCKLE UP SWEETNESS YOUR IN FOR A BUMPY RIDE------GOOD LUCK
221674
You are going to have to set some rules. He is going to be in your life, on a limited basis, for years to come because of the children, but you need to set a few things straight. One, he MUST pay child support. Two. When it's his visitation, he picks the children up, and brings them back. Don't let him run over you on this. Stand your ground! He can pay a visit to the jail house.....then he WILL obey the rules. Good Luck!!
473548
child support is not a magical number that the judge pulls out of his butt.  child support is based on the income of the mother, the income of the father etc.  the state has a chart and depending on what the father makes a figure is computed. in other words x+y=z.  unfortunately i see alot of cases come through my court where the father is the one 99% of the time paying child support.  and even worse the state does not factor in if the father has a mortgage, utilities, food expenses etc.  it sucks big!  i get so angry sometimes in court, but we have to maintain our proffessionalism.  and as soon as these women find out that the father has obtained a second job, they petition the court for more money because he has more income.  I had a case last week that was just absolutely insane.  the man was a capt. in the army and he was ordered to pay alimony, child support, and maintain the mortgage on the house that she got during the divorce and he no longer resides in.  in the end with all the money he was paying out to her, she ended up receiving more of his income than he did.  I have even had many men blatently tell the judge that they would rather go to jail than to pay.  I think in regards to reaching what amount he or she should pay, the state should take into considering what he/she pays out in living expenses and then factor child support. unfortunately the state feels that if you have to live under a bridge they don't care as long as they pay.  you can always repetition the court and present your case and see if they will lower his support amount.
46714
He may need a lawyer to file the request for visitation. That would have been taken care of in divorce court. He has rights and the court needs to know the situation to guarantee his rights are ordered and enforcable. If the mother is unfit and the father cares about his children, it would be morally wrong for him not to remedy the situation.
83609
I have never heard of anything like this before.  You need a lawyer.  The best case scenario is that you'll bring an action for visitation against whomever happens to have custody of him.  Otherwise, you'll probably have to sue the state.\n\nIf you are a minor, there should be free legal services able to represent you.  In any case, find a lawyer in your area now.
548503
400 a month for supporting his child ...he thinks it's to much?? clothing ,food, home, electric and everything it takes to raising a child ? that's cheap ..he should talk to the lawyer who handled the case during divorce if he has a problem
550575
Trust me it happens everywhere. I live in Australia same thing here. My daughter went to court for a few reasons, child support being one of them. She had two children to this moron who wouldn't work, she pretty much supported him, he was abusive so when she finally plucked up enough courage to leave he got himself a job, cash in hand ofcourse went to court and claimed he was only living on the dole.Even though she had proof of him working the judge didn't want to know about it. He was ordered to pay her  $20 a month for two kids and he has never even paid that. Trust me the judicial system sucks everywhere not just Rock county. Perhaps if all the mums who have been wronged by the system got together they may be able to change things. We can all live in hope  I guess. It's just not fair, after all it's the poor innocent kids that suffer. Best of luck  K  x
180174
Well, you need to talk to an attorney on a consultation and tell him what's up.  Usually consultations are free.\n  Second, today, may states and courts will give joint custody to parents...at the very least.  This is common and what it means is joint physical custody being that you hav ethe child for two weeks, then she has the child for two weeks, or she has the child all day, and when you get off work, you pick up the child and keep her till school and drop her off.  With joint custody, this is where you are to make decisions in the child's medical, school and so forth decisions.\n  In this generation, as long as you can prove you are the child's biological father, the court will grant you visitation at the very least.\n  Usually, if your name is not on the birth certificate, they will order a paternity blood test.\n   She can not keep the child from you and at the very least you should have an attorney petition the court for this visitation immediately.\n   To win custody/ physical custody, where she would have only visitation you would need to prove you are stable, have a good living environment for the child, child care that is sufficient to the child's needs and a good job where you can show you can support your child and yourself.\n   I mean, you are the father, you will be or should be paying some support for the child now, but to have full custody is just a bit different as you need to show stability.  \n   Hopefully you have no criminal record, speeding, and stuff like that, because this could go to character and lets face it , it you get lots of speeding tickets, well I wouldn't want my child in your car.\n   As for the mother, as long as she is taking care of the child and the child isn't harmed, starved, and so forth, it's kind of hard proving up sole custody.  I think go for setting up a fixed visitation, with a fixed support order while requesting joint physical custody.  \n   YOu must love the child very much...and I commend you for wanting to take on the responsibility.  don't let the child be used as it sounds likewhat your ex is doing.  Love her and show the court you love her and can care for her and go for it.  The very least you'll get is visitation........but that's a start.\n   Hopefully what ever money you have given for the child's support is verifyable.  In other words, do not give cash to the ex for the child's support and needs, always give in a check or money order so you can prove up what you have done, at all times..................\nHope this helped, go get an attorney to file and OSC for sole legal and sole physical custody and/or visitation..........good luck
29895
Go to your county's Child Support Agency. It's in the phonebook. Call or walk-in. If the children are in your care for more than 1/2 the time, he will be required to pay child support. As far as him seeing them, you may have to go to mediation which cost me $100. I didn't request it, he did. Actually, he requested it 2 times. Do your best as far as that goes. You do have to cooperate with visitation but only if he's looking for the best interest of the child. Which is what the mediator does. However, the mediator will believe what he/she wants from both sides. Be polite. My ex started to get rude and it effected the outcome. I just stayed quiet during his little fit. I hope this helps. Good luck! Don't let him bully you out of this either. You're fighting for your children's rights.
20920
First off, call the American Bar Assn. and see if any complaints or punitive actions have been filed against the attorney.\nSecond, understand currently, divorce is a slow and "expensive" proceedure.  Initially, the court may order you to counseling in an attempt to save your marriage.  Keep in mind, that every state is very different in awarding custody; especially to a father.  Most states in the midwest wont award custody to a father unless the mother is in jail, CONVICTED previously of child abuse, is a known (to police) as a chronic drug addict, or has been medically deemed as terminal.\nSave money initially, and get a paralegal to do the initial filings.  Get a power hitter attorney when the judge is hearing motions for his (or her) decision.  Also, keep in mind, grandparents have filed for custody and won in the recent past.  Make sure you have an equitable visiting schedule set up through the court system.  This is usually done during the first stage or counseling sessions.  Some courts require a minimum number of visits.  comply with them!\nDon't run to these "men's rights activist" attornies; they are usually more expensive, and no more effective.  Keep in mind your ONLY motivation for pursuing this course of action; your child.  Any other reason is a waste of time, money, and an exercise in futility.
232207
I have been in almost the same situation. my bf got his ex gf pregnant while we were on a short break. I went back to him and now the child is almost 3. The ex is CRAZY, wont leave us alone. We have to pay 127 a WEEK in child support, which we cant afford and havent been able to pay the whole 127 a week so my now husband will be going to jail fairly soon. To make matters worse the ex had another son 6 months ago, 10 days before my daughter was born. and is now claiming it is my husbands. SO all I can say IS LEAVE HIM. It will never end. You will be alot more happier without him. ' YOU DONT WANT DRAMA WITH HIS BABIES MAMA'.
46220
Hi chrismarie1511,\nDo you have joint custody? You need to contact a lawyer. Look in the phone book for a lawyer who gives a free consultation in person or over the phone if you cant afford one. Good Luck: Blueladybug
641032
Child support and attorney's fees are totally separate. Since you took the mother to court for paternity, you are liable once paternity is established. If she was at fault then she would be the one paying your fees. As for the attorney, if he did not represent you to the best of HIS abilities, then you can report him to your State Bar. If he is found "guilty", he will have to repay the fees that you paid to him, plus a fine. As for your situation, I know here in Texas, you will not be appointed an attorney, no matter how poor you are when it comes to family matters, unless you are being abused and are a child or elderly person (attorney or guardian ad litem).  Now, if you are a criminal, then by all means you are entitled to an attorney at the taxpayers expense. Hope this helped a little.