The ones i heard was\nYou want to have your cake and eat it to? I tought thats what you do with a cake\n\nThat like calling the kettel black(why its gotta be black hahah just joking)\nlist some you hear or herd
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A rolling stone gathers no moss. (How much moss has the Rolling Stones gathered?)\n\nYou can't have your cake and eat it too. Think about it. Let's say you have $1.00 and want to buy a soda. If you buy the soda, you won't have the $1.00.  If you don't buy the soda, you'll still have your dollar, but no soda. In other words you can't have it both ways. The old saying, or proverb, is a way of saying the same thing.
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Maybe they mean Black Comedy.  \nRead the link below.
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That is good of you to share this information with us.  I Really had to try hard to find all six it was only when you continued with the bit about the word 'of' that I found another two but still missed the last one.  However I am old, so that may have something to do with it.\n\nIt kept me amused for a while so 10/10.  I demand more of this sort of thing;)\n\nI am going to try it with my listeners next time I do a show
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here are some:\n\nA good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say: That's dynamite, baby.\n\nAnytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.\n\nAs the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.\n\nAs we were driving, we saw a sign that said: Watch for Rocks. Marta said it should read: Watch for Pretty Rocks. I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!\n\nAt first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be 'Clark Kent, Dentist,' because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said: How's my back tooth? and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said: Oh it's okay, then the patient would probably say: Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid? and you'd say: Aw &*$# you, get outta here, and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.\n\nBroken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?\n\nConsider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.\n\nDad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.\n\nDuring the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were 'just going down to the corner.'\n\nFear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaught on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say: Think again, bat man.\n\nFor mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?\n\nHe was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said: Dust to dust, some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others: I'll be waiting for you in heaven - with a gun.\n\nHow come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak.\n\nI can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.\n\nI can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like: Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me? or: Do you have that $50 you borrowed? Man, quit being so cheap!\n\nI don't pretend to have all the answers, I don't even pretend to know all the questions.. Hey, where am I?\n\nI guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet.\n\nI guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said: I helped skin Bob.\n\nI hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas w
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01. yyou're so sweet you'd put hershey's out of business.\n\n02. if you were a booger i'd pick you first.\n\n03. you must be jamaican because you are jamaican me crazy.
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Indian corn?  \n\nEDIT: Is eat synonymous to drink?  \nSome sort of inebriation, then.  Beer?  Alchohol?\n\nEDIT: Ah, but it has to have HAIR!  Batman has it...once again.\n\nEDIT: **looks frantically for hairy food**  A peach?\n\nEDIT: **checks in refrigerator** How about that casserole that's been in there since November?  It's a bit fuzzy.
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A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies\n\nI saw a saw that could out saw any other saw I ever saw.\n\nBetty Botter bought some butter, but she said "this butter's bitter! But a bit\nof better butter will but make my butter better" So she bought some better\nbutter, better than the bitter butter, and it made her butter better so 'twas\nbetter Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter!           -      sent in by Nick (warwickschool )\n \n\nBlack bug bit a big black bear. But where is the big black bear that the big black bug bit? \n\nA big bug bit the little beetle but the little beetle bit the big bug back.\n\nIf you understand, say "understand".\nIf you don't understand, say "don't understand".\nBut if you understand and say "don't understand".\nHow do I understand that you understand? Understand! \n\nI thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.\n\nRED BULB BLUE BULB RED BULB BLUE BULB             sent by  geetha g (UAE)\n\n"RED BLOOD BLUE BLOOD"                                sent by SANGEETHA GOPAL FUJAIRAH, U.A.E\n\nI wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.\n\nif a sledering snail went down a slippery slide would a snail sleder or slide down the slide- By S.Walton\n\nbubble bobble, bubble bobble, bubble bobble\n\n These thousand tricky tongue twisters trip thrillingly off the tongue .\n\nSounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.\n\nLala Gope Gappungam Das.                                   sent by Vishal Jain..(Mumbai)\n\nYou curse, I curse, we all curse, for asparagus! \n\nKacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca papaya.\n\nSanjeev's sixth sheep is sick                                   sent by S.Raju ...(Cochin)\n\nDouble bubble gum, bubbles double.\n\nBetty bought butter but the butter was bitter, so Betty bought better butter to make the bitter butter better.\n\nA sailor went to sea To see, what he could see. And all he could see Was sea, sea, sea. \n\nA box of mixed biscuits, a mixed biscuit box. \n\nUpper roller lower roller Upper roller lower roller. ....  sent by Poonam Damani ..(Guwahati)\n\nPurple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People\n\nIf two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch? ...sent by Richard Walsh.\n\nSIXTH SICK SHEIK'S SIXTH SICK SHEEP              sent by J.Qasmi (Qatar)\n\nWhich watch did which witch wear and which witch wore which watch? ..sent by Uncle Philly (USA)\n\nSix slippery snails, slid slowly seaward.\n\nI thought a thought.\nBut the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.\nIf the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.\n\nOnce a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?" \n\nHow much wood could a wood chuck; chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood..........sent by Kiran Grewal - USA\n\nI scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!\n\nParesh P  Patel plans to peel potatoes in Pune              \n\nAn Ape hates grape cakes.\n\nShe sells sea shells on the sea shore she sells sea shells no more  - By Sethna Hilla\n\nI slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. And on a slitted sheet I sit. I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. The sheet I slit, that sheet was it. \n\nAny noise annoys an oyster but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more.      \n\nSHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE ,\nBUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS,\nON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES                -  ANKITA DOSHI (MUMBAI).\n\n\nA skunk sat on a stump. The stump thought the skunk stunk. the skunk thought the stump stunk . What stunk the skunk or the stump?\n\nThe owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
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(Peter announces he is going on a hunger strike)\n"You gonna eat that stapler?"\n"Sir, you can't eat a stapler"\n"Wanna split it?"\n\n(Chris sees an empty fish bowl and a broken piggy bank)\n"My pet goldfish ran away. And he robbed me!"\n\nLois' tumor singing in her brain (I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor)\n\nThere are loads more oh, and pretty much every time Stewie is on :p
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well Black Woman (lovely):\nit`s because i get from Palenque the gallery`s web mail about Anatanael's, A.K.A El Tanò, information, i send to you there so you can do the rest, well "woman" get yourself to work.\ntake off the fish`s grudges because I don`t know how its flavor is, neither how they cook it, well, fuck, is that this motherfuckers write to me in english and I, luckly talk the spanglish\nUgly black woman, ahh forgive me, my "is a strange way to say dear or baby" call me or write to me\nChely\nWell Ray is hurry here, next to me, that i have to say to you black woman with big mouth, well i told him that you have big mputuh when you were little
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that's a complicated question. i'd try to have my cake and eat it too
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Me: (hands shaking, been trying to do this for weeks, been practically giving myself ulcers, so so nervous) Well there is something that I've been meaning to tell you and I'm sorry that it took this long for me to say it.  Maybe I should have said it sooner, but I can't take it back now... Diana is not my friend, she's my girlfriend, we've been together for almost two years now.\n\nMom: yeah, and?\n\nMe: And I'm bisexual\n\nMom: Well duh.  I'm not stupid.  (rolls eyes)  You two are just terrible at hiding it.  Every time she looks at you, you practically swoon and you hold hands under the table when you think no one is watching.  It's just about the most disgustingly cute thing I've ever seen.  \n\nMe: (long pause)  oh.  Well then.  So everything is ok?\n\nMom: Yeah (duh tone of voice).  Do you think we should have chicken ceaser salads for dinner?  Or maybe we should grill fish...
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That your expectations go beyond what may be realized. You may get a portion of what you want, the cake, but being able to eat it is desiring too much or more than may be reasonably expected. Literally, if you are given a cake, you want it. If you eat it, it is gone, but you still want it.\nYou cannot HAVE your cake and eat it TOO.\nhttp://ask.yahoo.com/20060511.html\n\nHere are examples, though perhaps not the best:\nYou love the garden, you want it year round.\nYou like being 23 years old (or whatever)\nYou love two women and want to marry them.\n\nI think Tony P's notation of being mutually exclusive is the most concise description.
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Never heard that one before, but I can present some scenarios...\n\n1) Person A does not get promotion that they believed they deserved. Person A is angry, and says... "I'm SO mad... Person B should not have gotten that job... that really BUTTERS MY MUFFIN!!!" (translation: I am so MAD!!!)\n\n2) Person A (different guy) gets flowers from his girlfriend (Peron B). He says: "Oh, I love her SO much... her thoughtfulness really BUTTERS MY MUFFIN!!!" (translation: I am so HAPPY!!!)\n\n3) Person A (different guy again) sees a very attractive woman in a bar (Person B). She is very sexy. Person A says, "Man, she's hot... I'd like to BUTTER HER MUFFIN." (translation: I would like to have se*x with her, enabling my ejaculate to provide lubrication to her southern genitalia)\n\n4) Opposite of scenario 3... A woman (Person A) looks at an attractive man (Person B) and says.... : "He is so hot. He can BUTTER MY MUFFIN anytime." (translation: See scenario 3)\n\nBest Wishes!
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i thought it was so hilarious!  \n\n"Have you ever broken a Puerto Rican dudes arms for sweatpant money?" -Darnell\n"I heard the Irabs were looking for more oil, they should probably drill into your face, god your face is greasy."- Kip\n"I was watching a john travolta movie about your face today, dirtbag.  which one, saturday night fever? No grease!" - Kip\n\nwell those are the only ones i can think of now, but there are a ton! i love it!!
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omg! so funny! i got some:\n\nin front of a farmer's field: you don't have to pay the farmer for crossing the field but the bull charges\n\nON TOP of a fix-it shop door: we can fix anything!\nON the door of the same fix-it shop:please knock hard door bell is still brocken.\n\nLOL!
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great one........never heard it before.......I could not stop laughing.\n........waiting for such good jokes.......keep posting........hahahahaha.\n\nthanks for the days best laugh.......
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I think it is called colloquially as "having your cake and eating it, aswell" . If there is nothing better in the pipeline then it is always a shag...i think that is why, personally, speaking but then i am a female.