I am talking about relatinships, so many people pretend to be a certain kind of person and than end up being so different than their partner had thought in the beginning.  I think this is so deceiving and I like to just be myself and if you like me great if not oh well!  I know it is not as simple as that but it amazes me just how many couples get together only to find out their partner is very different than one had first believed. Does anyone out there get what I am saying????????????
208445
I understand completely. The reason people pretend to be something they are not is to get somethng they otherwise could not. They figure, if they don't like me for me, I'll be someone else. Needless to say, that never works out and people that try that are looking at a dead end in love.
31716
I happen to agree 100% with you. But everywhere the masses get it drummed into their heads that they have to be with someone. Radio, TV, movies, books, family, friends, i mean from everywhere. Personally, been there, done that and i'm happier now than i ever was when i felt i needed to be with someone.
558877
I will tell you the truth.  First of all don't dare think about serios relationships-you are way too young.  Get your education, get in shape, have fun and see the world.  Don't worry so much about how people view you.  We are all judgemental and prejudiced whether we are honest enough to admit it or not.  We instantly judge people when we first meet them.  We size them up and categaorize them at first sight.  Personality has to work hard to overcome this initial impression.  And if we are not what the  other person currently believes is beautiful, it will never work.
220093
People aren't honest because they need to present a good face.  God knows what their marriage is really like or what their spouse would say.\n\nThat's me being cynical, I do know happily married couples though, but I know alot more people who swear their relationships are perfect in one breath and then proceed to complain about their spouse in the next.
526712
Sounds like you've got some life experience under your belt.  I am much more afraid of fake people like the super-nice type you described.  You never know what to expect from them.  If they're genuine, great.  There's a rare treat, but if they turn out to be the typical backstabbing schmucks so many shiny happy I've got my best customer service voice on people are, you're better off with the cold type.  At least you know what they're all about.  Great question.
120665
i think that when you are around people, or, one person all the time, things relating to personality tend to rub off on one another.  Like my boyfriend and I... for example, when he gets upset about something, he tends to get mad at everything and almost everyone around him... it's like his whole world is crumbling down, and in some cases it's almost like he takes me down with him...  BUT you know what... now that I think about it, that really has nothing to do with your question....\n\nBUT GIVE ME THE POINTS ANYWAYS CUSE I DIDNT LEAVE A THOUSAND PAGE ANSWER!\n\nLOVE YOU MEOW!  ;)
476413
If and when two people really like each other, they both just feel it. \n\nIt takes 2 to make that. \n\nNo way to fake it.
141044
I dont know it seems as though some people no matter who they are think of other people as something different.  No one seems to take the time anymore to think about how others live and I think thats what you are getting at?
37798
*Noddling for I think so* I personally am in a long term relationship with someone I met one night on yahoo dominos. Heh she decided my nickname was perverted (it was, but that was not why I used it in dominos) and decided to come to my table to tease me and see if she could catch me being a perv.\n\n*Grinning wolfishly* She couldn't and due to the fact I turned her down, she decided she liked me and made sure we stayed in contact. Over the course of time, my reason for saying no was no longer valid and I found myself in love...\n\nAs to finding nice, honest people and where, lol there is no easy answer. They are everywhere, in chats, playing games, even probably here in answers...\n\nThe trick is weeding out the not so good ones, till you find one worthy of your trust...
530492
Unrealistic expectations sow the seeds for resentment and anger.  The smart thing to do is realize that the person you are with is who they are.  The reason you were attracted to them is not based on potential, but on reality. So many people go into a relationship and expect to change the things about the other person that they don't like without realizing that if they accomplish those changes, the other person will not be the same person they were attracted to and if they don't achieve the changes, their disappointment is due to their unrealistic expectations.  People will only change if they do not like that aspect of their character enough to change it.  Most people are comfortable with who they are and wont change.
206974
I think our feelings change as we get to know the other person better. More often than not people are alot more open with who they are after the relationship has progressed. So in the beginning they could be a little more reserved and laid back but as the relationship progresses they begin to be more open and outgoing. And so we get to know them for who they really are, as they become more comfortable within themselves and the relationship. Sometimes, this change isnt always for the better but other times it makes you love them a whole lot more. Change is one of lifes necessities. We all go through it.
380497
I agree Matt...and it seems most on here have kinda missed the question...or maybe I have.\n\nIt's not what you call him as a term of endearment....although I think that's a great question I'd like to see all the answers to. What I think you're asking is how you refer to that person in your life....when introducing them to others, or talking about them to others.\n\nWith my ex I used partner and hated it. It sounds like we're CPA's together or something. \nLife partner is icky \nBoyfriend sound like we're in Summer camp\nLover...eeewwww\n\nEven though we were together for a decade I never used husband because it is a lie. We had not exchanged vows in our church (though we would have been allowed to get married there). I think marriage is a deadly serious thing that I do not want to cheapen by using it erroneously.\n\nSo, I ended up using partner and probably (hopefully) will again in the future. But I'd sure like something else.\n\nI don't think this is uniquely gay either...straights don't really have a better word, do they?
345271
Exactly. I guess it just boils down to cowardice really. Some people cheat and yet are too afraid to let go of their existing secure relationship. Some claim they don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. But by being unfaithful they already have. What they really don't want is to face the music and confess to their partners that they've been cheating.
633534
That is one way of putting it... but in my case, I was fooled and he got tired of fooling me after we were married and just showed his true colors. Marriage is not something I will ever do again. It is a real shame too because I am in a great relationship. But I think marriage will ruin me if I try to do it again.
531248
sadly to say...I've been at both ends of your question until I took a hard look at who I was and now I'm truly genuine. what I did and who I was put a lot of fan fair on me. It was fun until I wanted to get serious with life at a comfort level of "normal" . there's no room for ego when you want to share your life with someone special.. Don't confuse ego with self confidence. :)
228021
It's possible to be in love with several people at the same time. Confusing, but possible.\nSome people believe that people are not naturally monogamous - that monogamy, like other forms of marriage, is a cultural construct. As such, not everybody fits into the same square holes. This can cause people a lot of trouble, but it is best to be honest with yourself, and then with the lovers in your life. \nAfter wife # 1 (a complete disaster) I knew I couldn't be monogamous, and with wife # 2, I told her this and we had an open marriage. It lasted 5 years, and we are still good friends. Neither one of us was particularly jealous by nature, and I know many other people who aren't. Having lived through it though, I no longer embrace open marriage. I keep my extra lovers on the fantasy level, and keep my real relationship real.
665494
i think they do it because they are some what scared of themselves...and maybe they are testing the other one...(not on purpose) but testing them....to see if they are really ment for each other but in this case i feel you and your loved one are ment for each other....you may have your problems everyone does...maybe a little more  than most people but you are ment for each other. and you should love each other forever! you only have one lifetime we should all live it to the fullest! and im sure that the person who you love soo much loves you just the same even more....and is really sorry for what he did. he prolly knows that he cant fix it but wishes he could. i wish for you 2 to be happy and to have a WONDERFUL life together. you are ment for each other! \n\n♥