Involved for 6 months...started out heavy then he backed away.  Then he'd say we're dating and I'm the only he's dating...but we're not a couple.  In the beginning we were, but not now.  Confusing to me.  Also, he has an activity with friends that take up almost every weekend, but I'm not invited!  When we are together, it's great, we're just not together enough for me.  Any insight would be appreciated.\n\nPS:  He broke up with me a week ago, but still maintains contact.  I've begun to ignore emails.  I want him back but not only when it's convenient for him.
202492
It sounds to me like he doesn't want you as a girlfriend, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either.  By leading you on the way he is, he knows that you will stay by him and not date anyone else because of the chance he will say you are a couple again.  I went through it for 6 years.
538940
Appreciate that he is returning your calls and has let you know that they're HIS issues, not yours.\n\nYou've only been hanging out a month.  Depending on what he has going on, that's really not enough time to develop trust.  It happens over time, and this relationship is in it's beginning stages.  It may not be an exclusive relationship, though it sounds like it's heading that way.\n\nDon't put any more pressure on him.  He knows you're there, he knows you're concerned.  That's enough.  If you continue to call him, then you need to ask yourself "Am I really concerned about him, or am I feeling insecure because I'm not part of what's going on?"  He's having some challenges right now, and I think he's handling this appropriately.  If you're really concerned about him, then keep it about him.  Be available to him if / when he needs you.  \n\nWhat's going on with him has nothing to do with you.  Keep this situation in its proper perspective; otherwise, you will lose him before you've gotten things off the ground.
612997
Okay first of all since the break up nothing has changed so I'm assuming that you all are still intimate with one another and you're still arguing like lovers do.  The only thing that's bothering you right now is that you don't have that "TITLE" anymore as lovers which means that he can do what he wants and so can you.  So basically this dude is getting his cake and eating it too served on a silver platter with a platinum fork.  Do not allow him to question your where abouts every time especially if he's doing it in a "boyfriend" way.  I mean at this point he's looking at the situation and saying to himself " Why get back together when breaking up with her is just the same plus I get to mess around and not be faulted for it" Does it makes sense to you now!!! Lay down some rules and set boundaries within your relationship as friends and I guarantee you he'll miss that feeling as being your boyfriend and coming running back, it never fells.
318132
I've been in your shoes and I've been in the opposite side of your shoes. Clearly, like previously stated, this man does not know what he wants. Do you really think it's possible for a man to break up with you and change all those feelings of romance into friendship in just three days?!? He's just lonely and trying to fill the void (platoniclly, sexually, who knows), and he's probably unaware that your heart is at stake. If you want to be "friends" with someone after you've dated them, break up for real, cut contact, go about your life normally again, see other people, wait AT LEAST 3 months (maybe more), then see how you feel. A few years ago I had a gf and we went back and forth with the break-up/friend thing, and looking back it was such a waste of time. We ended up breaking up for good and we don't talk anymore. Now life is good. I have found another great girl and I don't need to be friends with my ex. After two years we've never done the break-up back and forth thing.\n\nGo after the one you love, don't waste your time and energy trying to decide if this confused guy is for you - he's obviously not. Your heart, future, family, etc. is too valuable.
65418
Unless there's a legitimate reason for him not calling you back, "he's just not that into you". You make it sound like his behavior is consistent so if you're making the relationship a priority and he isn't, it may be time to move on. Make yourself less available. I would spend more time with friends and ignore his calls. That way you're out there meeting new guys and he'll either come around or you'll find one that returns phone calls.
329116
Wow, talk about mixed emotions. It sounds like this man doesn't know whether he's coming or going. He wants you and then he doesn't. He's just all over the place with his feelings. You see, a lot of men and women carry over issues from past relationships. If he has children I assume he's been married before. What do you know about his last relationship? Has he been single for long? I notice you say you became seperated just last July. Are you looking to become serious with this new guy? You have to ask yourself what it is you want out of this relationship and then determine whether you two are on the same page. A word of advice though, don't push him into something he's not ready for. It will backfire and send him running the other direction. Also, give yourself some time to be single for a while and don't rule out dating others either. Maintain your independence. It's very attractive to men. A man wants a women who is independent and who doesn't define herself through him. Don't make it too easy  for him to see you at the drop of a hat every time he wants to. However, always treat him with respect and honor and praise him when he's nice. I wish you luck!
26414
Heh.\n\nHe prolly doesn't know how to act. Maybe he does want to be with you but feels uncomfortable. Sounds like there's prolly still some bad blood that has to do with the breakup from before.
672823
He's fishing around to see what you're doing with your life. It's none of his buisness, he made it clear he didn't want a relationship with you and who you see or hang out with is of no concern of his. Next time he texts you, tell him oh I have several b/f's...and leave it at that. If he texts again, ignore him.
83486
He may be trying to do either.  Just remind him that you are now ex-partners, and he needs to keep his social life to himself.  Refuse to get involved in this sort of discussion.  Sounds like it was a good idea to break it off.  He doesn't have clear boundaries.
331753
It sounded to me that he just wanted you to be a friend only, at least at this stage. Try to cool yourself the passion from him and don't push him or yourself to be too emotionaly involved with him. If he really cares about you more than a friend, he would keep dating you no matter how many dates you're going to have (unless both of you enter in a serious relationship). You'll get a better picture of how well compatiable of both of you and realize more about his feelings toward you if you "step back" and "observe". It'll be better for both of you.
220070
It seems that after 6 months you should be comfortable enough with him to not be playing these games.\n\nInstead of wondering how many times you should call him, I would reevaluate the relationship. What are you concerned about? Do you still want to keep him guessing? Are you overly obsessed about him and feel that he is distant? Do you truly think you are on the same page as him, as far as your feelings for one another are concerned?
188705
i think you wanting more with him then he wants. you both on different pages. i dont feel he is interested in you though he may have given you those type of signals on the weekend you spent together. try talking to him and telling him how you feel, if he doesnt feel the same then move on and dont waste your time with him.
97947
If he continued to call you after the break up, then it sounds like he wasn't ready to give up either. Or, maybe he enjoyed being in a friendship w/ you, and when you told him your feelings, it freaked him out. Either way, I'd try to get in contact w/ him to see what's going on. It seems odd to me that he would leave you hanging like that, so maybe something happened to him...try calling. If you get in touch w/ him, and he simply doesn't want to talk to anymore, then yes, it gets better. True love never fades, but it does alter and changes over time. Just give it some time. Good luck to you!
47344
OK...i will guess you have been dating about a year, give or take a couple of months.  This is the fork in the road of your relationship.  Almost all guys do this at the same time.  They get scared and feel trapped, so they want to break-up for a while.  Give him a few weeks and he will either come back loving you more than ever ready to go all the way, or he won't come back.
314171
Hi there again. Was thinking about writing direct but didn't want to bother you again.\nI had a break up last June after a 7+ yera relationship/engagement and it took a little (underexagerating) time to get through.\nThe fact that he didn't seem to be bothered by it at all made me even more upset. I couldn't figure out how he could just walk out and that be it. No contact, no explanation of why, no nothing. People need some kind of closure to move along the healing process and I didn't have that.\nWhen I finally started thinking a little more clearly (took about a couple months), I started to realize the reason he was able to walk away as cut and dry as he did. It was because he had already been done long before he'd walked out.\nI started being able to put myself on the outside, looking in instead of the inside, looking in (hope you understand that). Then I started allowing myself to realize all the things that weren't so great and hadn't been so great for a while.\nI went from a deep sadness and loss to realizing I was worth more than how I was treated by him, either directly or indirectly.\nToday I am glad he left and didn't ever try to contact me AND I'm also glad he left.\nMy belief (and I've seen it proved many times over) is the karma people like that earn will pay them back tenfold for what they uncaringly do to people.\nOnly you will be able to put this to rest within yourself and only in the time that is right for you.\nI wish you all the best in the world. And try to remember you are worth more than the sum of one cheating man.\nAlso, sorry this is so long.
509057
It sounds as though the two of you really need to sit down and talk, tete-a-tete.  The fact that you have been off and on for a couple of years, he's texting you now after a recent breakup, taking you to lunch, etc. and now you don't know what his motive is - just try to talk about it.\nI think that's the only way you are going to be able to truly get to the bottom of your dilemma.
135614
he's taking the time to message you..maybe he's just busy this week. don't worry about it unless it becomes a way of life. but in the meantime find ways to be busy yourself, it sounds like you have made this guy your whole life and that is never good, you can't be part of a couple without also being yourself.