I didn't know he was married till later on. i was shocked when i heard he has kids also. i want to be with him but i feeel like a home wrecker. he makes me so happy, but i can't be with a guy with a family. what do i do!?
213752
If you get with this guy, I'm afraid he will disappoint you. How can you feel comfortable with someone who obviously has lied to you, do not respect his vows, turning his back on his kids, and deny or acknowledge his children's existence to you? What he is doing to wife, he is going to do to you once he gets bored. People show us who they truly are and sometimes we dismiss it because of the false picture of them or we depend too much for a guy to make us happy instead of making ourselves happy. You need to work on your self esteem if you think this is and will lead to a good relationship. You are worth more than being deceived and second choice.
640806
Well, he keeps coming around because ur allowing him to, he sounds like he wants to have his cake& eat it too, I mean he's living someone who he has a child with and comes to u, tells u that he still loves and wants u.\n\nAnd I have a feeling u still want him ( even thought he has a family) with another woman.\n\nU ask if he could be in something that he can not get out of( WHAT?) he can't get out of being a father,\n\n\nOk think about this if u would\n\nUr the girl  he's living with u have a child with him, and whule ur home with the child and loving him thinking that things are good but he keeps going over to his ex telling her he stil loves her and wants to be with her and that he may have gotten into something he can't get out of.\n\n then he comes to u and tell u this( wouldn't u feel betrayed) that while u didn't know that the whole time u and ur baby was who he didn't want to be with and he rather be with his ex?\n\nIt would hurt wouldn't it? \n\nSee sometimes u have do think deep about things like tis, u have to sometimes put urself in the other persons shoes.\n\nDo u really want to be with a guy who's ready to leave his family? May be he will do the same toy u because he see something he looks at as better then he will leave u \n\nSo think about it  b 4 u make room for him to come back.
355174
Here's our story...tell me what you think.\n\nWe originally met in 9th Grade, he was the new boy in school.  We became fast friends and soon became more than that.  We were inseperable, many crazy adventures and all that fun young love stuff.  We broke up just before the school year ended because of our friends...you know the only people you listen to when you are 15 years old.\n\nWe stayed friends over the years, going for coffe every month or so to catch up.  I had the travel bug so after high school I moved around a bit, when I was gone he met someone else and married her.  On one of my stops home I found out he had married this girl (who I knew & knew she was not a good person), I told him my concerns & in my heart I knew that if he said me wanted he back I'd go.  He didn't so I was off on my journeys again.\n\nWell when I was 31 I moved back to my home town.  As luck would have it we met up one night, he was still married to the girl but he had been living in his basement for the last 6 years and had little or nothing to do with his wife.  He was miserable. \n\nWe spent that night catching up, when it was time to go home he grabbed my hand and said he let me go once & he was never going to do that again.  He moved out the next day and we are now married and have a beautiful 3 year old little boy.  \n\nSo no, I don't worry about him leaving me for someone else.  I think it all depends on the situation, and the rest of the story.  People look for love outside of their relationships because there is usually something wrong within their current relationship.  Others are just really shallow and want a "trophy wife"...those relationships never work out.
617547
You are playing a dangerous game. First you have to think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. \nDan is married with 2 kids, one being one of your friends. How much would your friend respect you if he found out that you could possibly destroy his family?\nSecondly, if Dan divorced his wife and married you, had children with you, who is to say he would not divorce you and marry someone else. \nYou have another young man who is 700 miles away true enough but is up and leaving his comfort zone to come and be with you. \nI hope also that you have been protecting yourself having sex with both of these men. I would hate for you to become pregnant and not know who the father could be. It could be ugly.\nUse your senses sweetie.\nGood luck.
482988
Hes a killjoy, and a selfish one at that.  He has a family to consider!  Tell him to put you first some times.
268747
Oh my!  Why would you even think about staying with someone who treats you like this??  Do you think you NEED him???  Let me tell you, if you are financially dependent on him, get out anyway!  Do what you have to do!  Staying around in this relationship will only hurt you and your children.  Do you really want to raise you kids around this man and them think that this is normal and healthy?  Do you really want to teach your kids that it is OK to be like this.  If so, they will be just like you or him and just continue the cycles.  Do yourself a favor and get away from him and get some respect for your children...QUICK!
496353
Honey, he ain't gonna walk down the aisle.  You were not very wise to get into this, having babies together, knowing that he wasn't completely committed.  You are right to want it, but you should have seen the warning signs a long time ago.
480065
You have to remember that you guys already have 2 kids together. I think you should try to work the marriage out, you've probably tried talking to him, but if that doesn't work out then you two should seek counselingl.
478203
7 kids! holy crap. well does he not treat her right or something? why dont you like him? just cause hes younger? if they have 7 kids together they must really want to be together.
613277
You still have your family-your kids. Talk to this guy. Find out where you and kids stand in his life . In a relationship,there are times when couple or say one of them wants to be on his own .\nMaybe he just needs some time off . Give it to him . You also do something which you like and mutually you two can take care of kids . Have a code of conduct to be maintained in the house, at least in front of kids . Review the situation after short intervals.\nIf it doesn't work & you are unhappy ,maybe then you have no other choice but to split.
245785
Here's a little trick. Picture yourself married to him, doing the things married couples do, meeting his friends and family, facing problems together, etc.. Do you like what you see? If not, give yourself some more time to know him better and do the mind excercise again. If you don't like it still, stop waisting your time and find another guy you can be comfortable with.
624138
I am married and pregnant with another man's baby.  I was separated from my husband for 5 months before I got pregnant with my boyfriends baby.  My ex (soon to be ex-husband) still wants me sometimes too.  He said that if he got the chance to have his family back, he would in a heartbeat, even if he had to help raise another man's baby.  BUT......I don't feel right about that.  I should have never married my hubby because I didn't love him enough, and we were pressured because we already had one little girl together a year before we got married, so we went a head and did it.  Now, I have two little girls, already, and one more little girl on the way.  Yeah, i messed up, maybe if i would've given it a little more time after the separation, me and the ex could've worked things out, but I wanted to move on with my life with this other man.  But, anyways, the point is,,,,,,,, i am currently in this situation, and I choose to not go back to my ex husband because I have ruined everything that we could have had together.  I am still in love with my new baby's daddy, but he couldn't handle the situation, either, so we broke up.  So, make the decision that's right for you.  You are the only one that knows your whole situation. Good luck!     Praying a lot helps too!
319374
wow...I'm in the EXACT same position. I could've asked this question because I'm going through the same thing. I've been absolutely infatuated with this guy and don't know what I will do once he leaves. It's so difficult but the best way to get through it is to find another guy. It sounds much easier than it really is because no one compares to "him."
605289
First, you should of told him what you were doing before it became a year relationship. Second, If you feel like you can't really relate with him then your really not in love with him. I would just sit him down and explain everything to him. Yea, he's going to be upset because you wasn't honest with him. You better let him know now before you are married with 3 kids. He may leave....he may not. It's up to you how you tell him. Lay it on him easy. He should understand. Good luck.
627267
I cannot tell you how bad I feel that someone hurt you sooo much when you were little.  I wish I could change it for you.\n\nHowever, Why are you trying to get pregnant and your not married??  I'm not judging you.  It's just that, if he has not committed to marry you and stay with you, are you in a position to take care of a child by yourself??  I only ask because I am a Mother of 3 girls.  Two of whom got pregnant with their boyfriend.  \n\nI also got pg before I got married.  We married, but it was a disaster and I ended up with 3 kids to take care of alone.  I really struggled because I only had a high school education. \n\nThink really hard about doing this. sweety.  This isn't something that goes away if you change your mind.  And no matter how good your man is now, things could change.  Can't you guys just be happy with the 2 of you right now??\n\nI know, sometimes things work out.  Are you 100% sure this is going to work out with the 2 of U?  Good luck, and God Bless.  By the way, God is waiting to hear from you.
132758
From what you are saying, it sounds like you may be all ready for a relationship, but he is not.\n\nThough, honestly, if you already have children with the guy and yet he is still not "ready" for a commitment - then you probably need to get rid of him. He is not for you. If he does not have the maturity to take responsibility in his life to care for his lady and his kids by at least becoming a legal husband and parent, then there is most likely some serious issue he needs to get over.\n\nI would recommend seeing a counseling psychologist, believe it or not. They really can help in these kinds of situations and will be able to offer some excellent, customised-for-you-and-him advice. That is probably the best route, if you cannot get anything out of him by sitting down and talking, seriously, directly with him. He needs to understand that not only do you want to be married, that you also feel that it is right to get married.\n\nSaying it's "too expensive" is a total cop-out, no questions about it. If two people really wished to (and, hey, when I marry I plan to do something along these lines), they could have a tiny wedding, and cut to the chase right away. "You want to get married? Yeah? Okay then. You're married." Not difficult at all.\n\nAnyway, you need to talk to him about this, and if that does not get you anywhere, try speaking with a personal counselor. I loathe to sound cold, but you may be with a guy who just does not deserve your time and patience.
607276
Let him go. He's married. What about the wedding vows he made?\nIf people can break these vows whenever they wish...then they meant nothing.  How would you like it if you were married to a guy and he left you like that?\nSomeone wonderful will come along for you. And you'll be glad \nyou waited...