My husband and I had a very hot, sexy relationship while we were dating.  Now that we're married, I find myself constantly tired and not wanting to hop in the sack 5 times a day the way I used to.  It's not that I'm unattracted to him...thats not the case at all.  It's just that with married life, I find I'm usually exhausted (plus I have a 5 year old...enough said)  And I understand that we have the rest of our lives to do the deed.....Has any other woman went through this? Is it normal?
209824
The same thing happened to my second wife.  We did it like rabbits when we were dating but once married, the activity dropped off quite a bit.  I am sure the rigors of married life has something to do with it and the comfort in being in a long term relationship.  I am sure it doesn't happen to all women nor men for that matter.  Could be that you just need to try something different every now and then.  Location, clothing, time of day, etc.  Variety is the spice of life.
9068
My husband kind of did something similar to me..and I can tell you dragging it out only hurt me more.  Although he cheated, lied, etc.  I did want to be sexual, he didn't always, but in the end my ex just wasn't ready to settle down.  It can be harder if you have kids (as we did) but you can still be in their life and be a good father if you and their mother are seperated.  Just make sure nothing else is what is actually bothering you...before jumping..grass isn't always greener on the other side.
352096
I've never heard of anything like this before......before we started that aspect of our relationship my (now) husband got blue balls and felt really sick and chills and such.....maybe you hold out so long that that happens to you.  I am so sorry to hear that!
506686
There's nothing wrong with you at all. Lots of women complain about less sex drive after having kids and being settled.\n\nI suggest that you make your husband horny for you. I'm guessing that sex has become somewhat of a routine for both of you. I think it will turn you on when you see that he's hot for you and can't wait till he's with you. Write him a dirty message. Rent some porn. You have to make sure that you really, really want to have sex, then it'll be easier getting an orgasm. I don't know what kind of stuff you're up for. Dirty talk is always good. Have your husband tell you how bad he wants you. \n\nBy the way, your clitoris can NOT be overstimulized by a vibrator. The nerve endings there will be intact unless you have some disease or accident that affects your nervous system.
427914
I know how you feel. I dated my first girlfriend for a year. Now I am married and my husband and I both check out the cute women walking down the street. He thinks its hot. We have even thought of bringing other women into bed with us. Though so far we haven't.
359632
i see what yu mean. but..... i  don't know if you had the same volves. as me , but mine said in  sickness and in health.. just as it says  in  sickness and in    health...  honey, i know it's hard, but   we have to  endure. my husband  has not given me sex   for 20 years because  of a medical  problem. some times i question   that medical  problem but  i   have to live with it. i masterbate to  fulfill. you may have to  too.  it get old. you can only imagine so much.  i  wish  somehow we could met and satisfy each   other. good luck  humming.....you   want   to get in  touch  with me, my email :tootalljones@yahoo.com we can have im sex want to. im is the   same .yahoo IM down load it.
334587
It would actually depend on what what kind of relationship you have, with the person that you are with. If you are still very close , and still very in love with your wife---> then your sexual relationship is normal. The closer you are to someone , the more you want them physically!\n  I have heard of other couples being together not as long as you two have , that say they only have sex once a week. I know another couple that says they only have sex once a month. I thought this was crazy , one lady told me do you see how clean my house is ??? How do you think that it stays this clean---By not having to worry with that all of the time.I would rather live in a simi clean house and have great sex alot more often.Another though is , maybe these couples have never really had great sex before. I myself think that something is very wrong with couples that dont have sex atleast once a day. But , i also understand that not all of us have the same sex drive.\n  Me and my x-husband used to have sex atleast once a day.\nWe were together for 8 1/2 years. But, during the pregnancy of our second child---> i lost all interest in sex which was suddenly too painful to me. I am not saying that he stopped getting it , but pretty close to it. However i gave him blow jobs alot. Then when our son turned 3 months old , i found out he was cheating on me & kicked him out . I still wonder if my not wanting to have sex with him was partly coming from the fact that i knew that something was going on. My husband and i never really liked eachother , so i was wondering how often we would have had sex , if we were deeply in love. The point is, I promise that the strength of your feelings in your relationship, helps alot to determine how often you get it !
351110
Congratulations on the dramatic weight loss!!!!!\n\nMy guess is that your husband is probably feeling a little left out.  What guy wouldn't, if you devoted that much energy into your weightloss.  Especially if he's used to you paying more attention to him.  Or maybe he is like most guys that have been married for a long time.....\n\nWhen we are together for a long time, we sometimes forget to keep flirting, dating, and making the extra effort to treat our partners like out #1 choice.\n\nWe sometimes tend to get a little self-absorbed with our own problems, obligations, and responsiblities.  We forget to actively try to fulfill out partner.  We assume that out mere presence fulfills them, that since we are there, then they should feel loved.\n\nWhen a new hobby, child, project, or habit moves in (in this case, your weightloss) then sometimes they feel slighted.  We forget that our perception of something is not exactly out partner's intent.  We react before giving them a chance to clarify their intent.  We assume that they meant something rather than just asking them.\n\nAnd sometimes we forget to pursue them like we did when the relationship was new.  When a relationship is new, our bodies go into overproduction of certain feel-good chemicals (adrenaline, dopamine, norepenepherine, endorphins, etc) and we feel that rush........which usually lasts for about 36 months, unless we take measures to stimulate those chemicals to be produced.\n\nAfter 36 months, that chemical overproduction usually subsides making way for new chemicals that promote long-term acceptance and comfort.  Kind of the way our metabolisms slow down by age 30, and we need to make extra effort to stay the same size and shape.\n\nThis is when it starts to take longer for our bodies to respond to each other, and we may even thing the fire is gone, or that we are no longer in love.  Big Mistake!\n\nSometimes, when one partner makes extra effort to take care of themselves or look good, then the other partner feels threatened, insecure, like they should be improving themselves, too (but they lack the motivation to).  It's like pulling the rug out from under them, once they got comfortable with the way things were.\n\nYour best bet is to not go tell him how you feel, but to change your behavior. guys are not socialized to talk about feelings, and often don't know how they feel.   Guys are more actions-oriented.   If you change your behavior, then he will automatically respond differently to you.\n\nRemember his ego needs.  We all want the same things from others, but guys especially are sensitive to things they would never ask us for or tell us about.\n\nRemember to appreciate him, to respect him, to challenge him, to admire him, to need him, to pursue him, flirt with him, treat him like you think he's sexy and deirable, that he is skilled and powerful, and sought after.  Treat him like your #1 choice, and that you are lucky that he loves you.  Do this daily.  Give this freely, without exception or conditions.  Even when he's a crabass, take the high road, and love him anyway.\n\nTry to walk in his shoes.  Tell him how you think he must be feeling once in a while.  Even if you're wrong, just guess how you would feel if you were him.  It shows him you are aboe to see beyone your own perspective.  Seek to understand before expecting to be understood.  This is how you teach him how to treat you.  He learns how to do the same with you.  You inspire him to act differently by modifying your own behavior.\n\nHe might possibly be feeling intimidated by your drive and your success, and maybe a little inadequate or emasculated.  Let him know that he's the man.\n\nIt would be self-defeating to let your self-worth be determined by his approval.  Don't change yourself too much to try to please him.  Make him come to you with what he needs, and be willing to give it to him.  Chances are he just wants to be the man, to be powerful, attractive
238628
Not really.But don't be too dependent on him.Having sex almost everyday is great but he needs to rest.
33400
I've noticed that my husband also orgasms quicker when we don't have sex frequently. I suppose a part of it is the underlying excitement in your mind. I find sex to be better and more exciting when it's not a daily thing, perhaps that's why.
208575
NO. not at all. First of all, I would like to congratulate you two. You're a match made in heaven. Basically, the bible states that sex is a blessing given to married couples. If you're just living together and not having sex, that's absolutely perfect. It's the most exciting thing you can have once you get married. But if you guys are married but not having sex... then there really is a problem behind that. Try talking to your partner about that.
426279
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!!! I am in the same situation. Don't let him pressure you, its not fair, your sweet little girl hasn't even been out of your stomach longer than she was in! How can you feel "normal" yet? My daughter is 5months and I am SO TIRED, the LAST thing on my mind is sex, we are down to maybe twice a week, from at least once every day before I was pregnant. Talk to your husband about how you feel and explain to him that you love him and to be patient with you. You'll get back in the game, don't worry.
194852
well, i have a MUCH higher sex drive than my ex fiancee, so often times i used to just let her go to sleep after she didnt want to have sex.  Then i'd pull her nightie open so i could see her breasts, rear, and p*ssy and rake one out right there.  Usually, though, she'd wake up at odd hours of the night soaking wet down there and wake me up riding me.
4259
well im 25 and have been married for nine years ok thats stupid i know but i have two children and yes it is a lifetime of worry and nine months of pain. But oh it was so much fun getting there, lol. Sex is a womans way of knowing she is attractive and still has control over something. Thats the best answer i have for that one.
314857
I do not think there is any such thing as "normal" in regards to this question. Each couple will have their own desires, their own wants, needs, urges and motivations. Sex is tied to emotions and other factors besides two willing bodies. In other words, it may seem normal for your husband to want sex more often, but if his mind is on work, worries, children, responsibilities etc. He may not be able to perform as well or as eagerly as he would without the stress issues.  There are also medications that can affect one's desire (or lack of desire) so all of these kind of intricacies in your OWN relationship may make what is "normal" very different for each couple. \n\nMy husband and I did not get married until we were older (late 30s for me, early 40s for him), and I must admit that the first two years was a lot hotter than the last 8 have been, but I have had a surgery on my back, and my husband has had some health problems that have had a profound effect on our sex lives. The part that really matters is that we are both happy and satisfied (not only with the sex, but with each other)!  We were friends before we were lovers, and if for some reason one day one of us is no longer able to have sex at all, I don't think either one of us would walk away from the other because of it!\n\nI guess it's a lot more important if you are young, and maybe there are ways that you could approach and talk to your husband if you want to know if HE is happy, and if YOU are not happy...then I think you should try talking this over with your husband (PRIVATELY) before you are tempted to invite others into your bed!  It may be that you could spice things up a bit to make the package more appealing. If you could just offer him a massage and if he relaxes so much that he goes to sleep, then let him sleep. Let him know that you are not doing nice things just for the purpose of seducing him. Maybe try some feminine lingerie, and instead of wearing your fuzzy pink bunny slippers and terry cloth bathrobe, put on something that will remind him that you are all HIS and that he is a very lucky man. :)  \n\nIf you have changed in weight or attitude since you got married maybe he would appreciate your efforts to improve yourself. So if you can be more helpful, less demanding and show him that you really do want him to be more attentive or less attentive (which ever the case)...Perhaps your feelings will seem more important to him. \n\nBefore you feel tempted to cheat or anything like that or if you are suspicious that he is cheating, ask him to go with you to a marriage counselor, or if you both are invested in a church, you may consider asking the Pastor, Priest or Reverend for "couple's counseling".  If you go to counseling, be honest about your feelings, and encourage your husband to open up too. If there are things in your marriage (like sex) that are not satisfying to both of you, then maybe you could find ways to make them more balanced through work and compromise. Sometimes we cannot always have things as we always dreamed they should be. There is NOTHING wrong with sharing those dreams with your spouse, so that both of you can work towards a happier marriage that is mutually gratifying in many many ways!\n\nGood luck, what is "normal" is what works for you and your husband!
306129
Maybe he should try an energy enhancement, like Red Bull. It'll help him get thru the evening without falling asleep on you. You don't believe in masturbating?? I think he's not the one with issues here. I'm sorry, if my hubby couldn't perform for me, after a few days, I have to do something. I have toys, plus do the other stuff. Women have needs, and there's nothing wrong with masturbation, unless you have no idea how to do it....Its perfectly normal and healthy to masturbate!....GL;)
439539
i don't know about "normal" but i'd say that is likely quite common.  i have had similar experiences of distraction or non-focus during sex but for me it's typically due to either:\n\na) we've been having high volumes of sex (3-8 times a day).  if this is the case i just try to refrain for a day or three and things are so much better -- i'm just auto-focused and needn't even have to try at that point.\n\nb) i am not totally into my partner, at least sexually.  even though i was into them as a person/loved them/loved being with them, i was not as sexually entertained as i could have been; say being with those people who always like to do it the same way every single time.  i think it was boredom in a manner of speaking and i just didn't want to admit it, so i went through the motions with a wandering mind.\n\ndon't know if either pertain to you or your situation but at least you'll know there are others who have focus-issues sometimes.