My Mother in law will act like she hates me one minute and say nasty thing to me then 5 minutes later she tells me she loves me. \nMy husband has tried to talk to her but she does not listen. My father in law  and brother in law have also tried. I do not want to have my husband left out of family functions he will not go without me. We have hosted the holidays but my house is never clean enough or I am expecting too much out of my husband.  Which is funny since he really does not do anything but his own laundry and my ironing. I know he is sick of the way she treats me.  I do not put him in the middle like I used to. I even did all of the paper work so they could get a house they moved from Chicago to Kansas to be closer to us(they have never lived in a house b4). Yes, I am a glutten for punishment. I have dreams that I am beating her up. Sometimes don't you wish dreams could come true. Well, can anyone help. I am really not sure if there is any help.
205282
What you wrote sounds like my story. I've got the same problem with my mother in law. My husband really appreciates that I act like I'm stupid. \nI refuse to drop down to her level and when she is really mean to me I just smile and nod. Sometimes I think she tries her hardest to piss me off, but I won't give her that joy.\nFor your husband it's probably best to ignore the situation and play along like you all get along. It's not worth splitting up families over. You may regret it if your husband decides to choose for you and stops speaking to his mom.\nBe happy she doesn't live IN your house. \n\nStay the respectable party and don't let your feelings show! I know this is tough but it's the most peaceful way. Good luck, don't let her drive you mad, you've got the upper hand!
613409
Sounds to  me like everything was kinda thrown together on short notice.  Also sounds like you were mighty gracious about the whole affair. I would have sat anywhere.  At least it is behind you now and you have learned something about your mother in law. Be proud your husband stands beside you but be ready to forgive if she comes and asks for it. She is his mother no matter what and you never want to be pointed to as the unforgiving, cruel daughter in law. By the way, I bet the bride didn't even know all that stuff was going on.
448605
You are a good mom and my heart goes out to you, that's horrible.  Well, you have to pray for starters, ask God to take care of this for you.  And LISTEN.  That's the best thing you can do for those kids is let them vent, let them have a comforting place in your home......sounds like you provide that already so good on you.  That woman needs some serious couselling.  I'm afraid she won't change unless she decides to OR unless everyone involved can clear their head, be ready and strong, and STAND UP TO HER TOGETHER.  She's picking on her daughter because she can, that's what bullys do.  It will be hard but if you all stand together and tell her her ways are unacceptable, she may get worse for a while or she may not speak to anyone for a while, but she will be forced to think long and hard about it.  From there, the choice is hers.  She does not have the right to cause this much grief to all of you and she needs to decide to stop, or spend the rest of her life without you all.  Your son and daughter in law are blessed to have you, good luck.
586308
Wow,,, that does sound pretty disgusting the way you worded it.  It often appears that the mother in law and daughter always seem to have competition going on.  I am not really sure why and it getting rather old.  You and this quy have been together 20 plus years and there is still tension between the 2 women he so obviously adores.  Being a woman you know how to add fuel to the fire or put out the flames...Try taking the higher road and leave it be.  I have another tool you could use as well... It is called PRAYER... the most powerful tool out here.  God sees all that is going on and He knows how you feel about it.  He also knows how your husband feels as well.  Can you imagine how excited he will be to see his 2 favorite girls interacting without foolishness.  Pray about it and leave it be...
502962
My mother-in-law told my husband and I she was not doing Thanksgiving or Christmas this year because of money, because her diabetes is getting worse and because she is tired of her son eating and running.  She does not take into account that her son works at night and has to sleep during the day.  She fixes the meal according to her schedule only.  Since she told us she wasn't cooking, we made our own pans to invite my brother over, as he has no other family in the area except us.  My husband told his mother when she asked later if we ever made other plans.  He told her and she got ill.  She went off on him because her, her husband, and her mother  weren't invited over.  He tried to explain that the seating just isn't there and she said we'd have to make our own plans.  Now she is doing nothing but laying guilt trips on him and it's working...to a point.  She will never change.  Part of it is because she is selfish and needy, though perfectly capable.  She is also jealous because he doesn't spend as much time kissing her butt.   \n\nYou are not alone.  It will either blow over or it won't.  You and your husband need to come up with a plan for the holidays.  The one you have sounds like a good one.  Either alternate holidays each year at her house and your mother's, or do Thanksgiving at your mom's/Christmas at his mom's this year.  Next year swap out.
193407
Patience is a virtue, I always say. If you live with them I feel for you. Just a few things to remember, 1)if you love him then you will learn to appreciate and deal with the family that you married into. 2)Although, everyone disagrees sometimes try to bond with your inlaws and things will go better than being upset. 3)Get to know your mother-in-law as mother than just a mom but a friend or gal-pal. 4)Do something as a family together. Go out and do something that you all will enjoy.
392720
Tough situation, but the mother-in-law always seem to win.  Don't feel guilty for not going out with someone who makes you feel unwanted.  Since it's your husband we are talking about, don't you get to spend time with him anyway away from his mother?  He's your husband and you can have your way with him  anytime you want.  Stay home and wait for him, speak to mom, and keep it simple.
419290
My sister in law didn't show up after saying she would come.  My brother walked in the door without her.  She didn't come because I didn't invite her son from her first marriage his wife and their child (6  years old) and his wife's son from a first marriage (16 years old) and her daughter from that first marriage (18) and that girls boyfriend that she is shacked up with.  I was already cooking for 9 people and my husband is not with me this Thanksgiving because he is overseas.  (He is the big cook in the family)  I didn't feel I could cook for more than 9 people and still keep my sanity.  That was the drama this year.
75303
That is why they are called in laws..just ignore them back if they won't accept you. Try your best with them but if that isn't good enough for them than leave them alone...Lady
521037
She sounds rotten inside. I would go the extra mile and ask her to step outside for a moment. I would then say to her "I don't know what I have done to make you not like me but I would appreciate it if you would explain it to me" if you don't get any answer then say "I am trying to understand your position here but now I know your just an unhappy person and I will still be polite to you regardless of how you treat me". Doing this puts you on the high road above her, she knows your not going to play the game and leave it at that. I do think your husband should of done something before now, maybe she is unstable and needs medical help. If you can't do this then wait and sucker punch her as she enters a room. lol not really.
69910
FIRST OF ALL YOU NEED TO PARAY TO GOD TO GIVE YOU STRENGTH TO BE ABLE TO KNOCK THE H*** OUT OF THEM IF THEY GET IN YOUR FACE AGAIN, BECAUSE IT IS NOT UNFAIR OF YOU SO DO NOT THINK THAT WAY. YOU SHOULD TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM AND MAKE NO QUALMS ABOUT IT. THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN YOUR DEFENSE WHEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HAD THAT ARUGUMENT AND HE WAS DISRESPECTING YOU, INSTEAD THEY USED IT FOR THEIR TIME TO VENT HOW THEY FELT ABOUT YOU. YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN AND TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT THIS ISSUE, AND LET HIM KNOW HOW  YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS. DO NOT DEPEND ON YOUR HUSBAND TO SHIELD YOU FROM THEM, BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT IS IS DEFINETLY SLACKING IN THAT DEPARTMENT. YOU BETTER LET THEM KNOW WHERE TO GET THE HECK OFF AT, AND THE NEGATIVITY THAT THEY HAVE TOWARDS YOU IS MUTUAL (EVEN IF IT IS NOT THEY DONT HAVE TO KNOW THAT), BECAUSE YOU HAVENT DID ANYTHING TO DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT. \nFURTHERMORE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM THOSE ARE YOUR HUSBAND'S PARENTS NOT YOURS, DO NO FEEL THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED TO THEIR SON THAT YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM. TO MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR YOU DO GOT TO THEIR HOUSE, AND DO NOT LET THEM COME TO YOUR, IF YOUR HUSBAND WANT TO SEE THEM THEN HE CAN GOT OVER THERE.  \nYOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE "UNDERSTANDING" ABOUT A D*** THING, AND YOUNEED TO TELL YOUR HUSBAND THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO KISS THEIR A**** JUST TO GET ALONG WITH THEM, AND IF HE DONT WATCH THEN HE WILL BE BACK AT HOME WITH HIS MOM AND DAD.  YOU ARE A WOMAN IN YOUR OWN RIGHT, AND YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THEIR CRAP. I HOPE THIS HELPS!!!
34802
My mother in law was the same way.  My husband didn't want to get involved because he said it was like a soap opera.  But then he did get involved and we no longer talk to his side of the family.\n\nYour husband needs to get involved for the sake of your marriage. She needs to tell you why she acts like that.  Most likely it's the same old thing of she feels like she is loosing a son.  Hopefully she would be willing to talk about it.  I started with a very polite letter but face to face would be better.  Work out a way that she can continue to be part of his life if that is what the problem is.  But your husband needs to support you!\n\nWe would e-mail and I showed my husband everything.  She would also yell at me on the phone and then tell him I was yelling at her.  He figured it out.  We went through counseling and she couldn't even be honest there.  So that is when we both said enough and don't have any communication with them anymore. You have to do what is best for your family.\n\nProof is always the best but your husband should trust you there and be willing to work out a solution.  But if your mother in law won't talk about it there isn't much you can do but avoid her.  But don't let it affect you. I ended up having major heath problems because of the stress.  It's her problem not yours!
198379
Do you know that 7 in 10 women do NOT get along with their mother-in-laws?\n\nI'm also one of that 7...it doesn't get easier but there are ways of dealing with them.\n\nGo buy "Toxic In-Laws" by Susan Forward, it helped me understand & deal my MIL & FIL better...they can't be "fixed" nor will they change.\n\nThere are also several other books out there dealing with this topic...just look up "Toxic Inlaws" on Amazon.
149237
She blew the situation way out of proportion.  It was a simple misunderstanding.  If you didn't ask her to cook for you guys, then you can't be blamed.  Also, how much extra food did she have to cook to feed just the two of you?  If you apologised, then you did all you can do.  Just  be careful.  I know from personal experience how miserable a mother-in-law who doesn't like you can make your life.  Try to patch things up with her.  If not for you, then do it for your fiance.  Good luck.  :)
497820
I would have to say that it is quite common to have a mother-in-law that gets on your nerves.  It is best to stay on her good side though and keep biting your tongue.  Be the better person.  It's hard but it's for the best.  Good Luck.
618241
You and your husband will have to make a real effort on this one, and be the bigger people so to speak.  I don't think it's normal for a mother to act like that towards her son and his fiancee, now his wife.  Something is definitely wrong with her mentally.  Just remember that you can choose your friends, but not your family.  I think you and your hubby will have to speak with his mother about the wedding thing, just to get past it and clear the air.  She needs to know how it made you feel to be let down on your Big Day.  You can choose to forgive her or forget it, but you have to be able to move past what's happened in the past.  I don't really have any big words of wisdom other than to take the high road and don't play into her games.  Sometimes you gotta call a Spade a Spade!  No matter how bad she treats you, turn your cheek and be extremely nice back to her.... it gets them every time!
121037
Can i Answer this with the mother in law thing? Ok Heck yeah she was evil. Evil, insane, and senile. She would ask my relatives about the things that i hated or didn't like to do. She would take notes, and when i came to visit for the holidays she would ask me to do the stuff. She once even asked me to soak her rusty crackled ass feet the smelled so bad. I didn't do it, and she hates me til this day. I think she's evil and she thinks I'm an asshole. What a perfect relationship!