Everyone knows my situation with my roommate. Here is the problem. He is a virgin and i respect that of him not to take it form him but i have only had sex once this year with my husband becuase he does not want to have sex if we arguee. here is the real kicker I want to so badly have sex with my roommate he has very taleneted hands and i have frustrated him several time. We have i guess it is called dry hump, he has tied me up and hand cuffed me and i have done the same to him he has also blind folded me. Most of the day I feel like I am going to go nuts becuase I can not stop thinking about my roommate and his hands, kisses and everthing else. I am so arroused I do not know what to do with this feeling. AAAUUUGGGGHHHH
207834
1). You need to leave your husband.  No one deserves to be abused verbally or any other way. Obviously he is not meeting your needs, and life is too short to waste any of it. \n\n2). As a single (or separated) woman, you can then decide if you still want your (ex) roommate or if it was just a case of "the grass is always greener".\n\nI hope whatever you do, your decision gives you the happiness you deserve.
71728
Talk to him. tell him how you feel, and if he understands and respects your descisions then thats great! if he doesnt then good ridance! he's not worth it, and he's an as*hole for using you!\n\nBut for things to work out you need to stop having sex with anyone, you have to start loving and respecting yourself, being introduced to sex at young age must have been traumatic for you. \n\nif you like reading books, i seggest you find this book: Title-your past doesnt determine your future\nAuthor: Bo Sanchez\n\nhe has the same problems on what you have, this book is very cheap and so worth it.\n\nif it's not available at your place, give me your address and i can mail it to you, dont give your address on-line.\n\nif you want to talk to me, this is my email: lovesoulmandy@yahoo.com\n\ni've been through, what you've been through. but i overcame them.
258699
You have to decide is this forever problem.. or a "Im just not feeling it" problem.\n\nIs the root of the problem.. you.. him... outside inclunces.\n\nIf you are not feeling it.. and then not being there for him in the bedroom.. things will become damaged.\n\nMen very very often equate love to sex.  Right or wrong.. its a reality.   If you are able to share yourself with him, then you will at least give him a belief that things are ok.\n\nIf you think the problem is not a forever, then I would recommend having relations..but also let him know there is a problem.. and try to work with him about it.\n\nIf you think its all over, then stop the sex and get yourself out the door to move things to where youw ill be happy.\n\nIts better for him and its better for you.  You don't want to be feeling like a "whore" having sex with someone you do not love just for a life.  (Please understand I am not saying you should feel like that.. but that is the natrual next feeling).
146356
Hmmm...a toughie.  May I assume you've told your current b/f about your issues?  In which case, I would strongly recommend the "no hands" rule (i.e., don't touch your head, hair, etc without your express consent!)  \n\nOtherwise, my suggestion is this....\n\nFirst just do a little kissing in the area & maybe a little gentle work around the head.  If at first you're feeling uncomfortable, go for a hand-job with some good lube (KY's warming body oils work GREAT...but they're not for sex-use, so be careful).  Work up to it.  \n\nThere's nothing to say either is good or bad - I know a lot of guys would prefer either oral or a hand job - as long as they're getting pleasure out of it and you're feeling good doing it, that's all that counts!
34330
He just used you. He didn't want a relationship but rather the sex. \nTake some time to spend with your real friends. Evaluate what you are doing and take their input into account. They do care about you. The final decision in your problem relationship should be up to you though. Don't let well meaning friends ever take away a golden chance at happiness because they're nervous or it's a faux pau to them that it's moving too fast. It's your life.\n    As far as this situation though, dump the jerk and find a man that does appreciate you. Just don't jump right into bed with him. I'm like a pot calling the kettle black but I'll say it anyway. Slow down...evaluate...take the time to be sure of what you're doing.
345927
Gee, what a guy! He kicks you out, he lets you stay to save himself the roommate problem, and has the nerve to get annoyed when you aren't thrilled? Let me guess- you're paying half of everything, doing most if not all of the housekeeping, and giving him sex. Yeah, it's a real compliment to be "allowed" to keep doing that for him. I'd move.
230269
Why tell him? If sex comes up then tell him. He wont think yuck no guy most of never wanted her, but think wow she did not give into some idiot from high school. NOthing is wrong with being a virgin. And you are not the only 20 something virgin out there, and they are not all gross and ugly, they choose to wait just like you have, and they are better people for it. I have never know anyone who regreted waiting but I do know some who regret not waiting.
526167
Hello:\n\nI've been with guys who have pressured me in the past, and trust me - it's really hard to say no. But ultimately that is what you have to do. If you are not comfortable with something, that is your decision. And if your guy loves you, than he has to respect you, and that means he will wait for you. \n\nBe strong and stand up for yourself. When I am in a situation where things start to happen, there are a lot of signs and ways that I can stop something if I wanted to. The first would be being in that situation in the first place. It is possible to hang out with your guy without being in a sexual situation. Maybe you need to plan group events, I mean he's not going to try to get you in the sack when you are hanging out with 5 of your friends. \n\nI hope this helps, and good luck!
153972
I completely kow how you feel I went through the same thing with my husband the only man I was ever with and still with. I couldnt wait for him to marry me so I could finally enjoy our sexual relations,I even remember crying during sex the guilt was so bad and I'm not even Catholic but in my faith along with most this is a major sin.  I dont your stat with you boyfriend but it wont get better until he marries you .  I bet you had parents who made you feel like everything you did you go to hell for.  I will end it saying this even though it will only help if you can truly belive it yourself "God is mericiful,and his mercy out weights his wrath",also I bet you boyfreind thinks your parents brainwashed the hell into you to make you feel this way and he probably hates your religion because of that..Good Luck I hope you can have a wholesome satisfing relationship soon and feel good about your relationship with god.
192604
every normal man wants sex from his wife. if he is used to it every night, then he expects it every night. and when he doesnt get what he wants he'll try an offensive move. i used to be the same way with one of my ex's i had it every night and so i needed it and when i didnt get so she would know how id feel. my suggestion is, if you dont wanna give him so dont. itll take a couple weeks but after that he no longer feel its mandatory and realize that if he wants it he'll have to earn it, on the other hand dont make him beg. just as he needs it you should show him you do aswell. there needs to be balance. also dont forget, most men are like children, when they dont get what they want, they'll wine and cry, bang there fists and make a face, but in the end moma knows best ;) hope this helps out
450240
Wow a lot of you are pretty hostile up here….  I mean you guys would've told Eve to dump that guy Adam and talk to the snake.  Tough crowd\n\nYou sound a little bit more like a guy (in thinking) than a girl.  I've heard the same line at bachelor parties.   Anyway you do have a serious issue here maybe to complex to answer.\n\nYour issue is multifaceted… on the one hand you're jealous of your boyfriend's past lovers…. sorry I used the word lovers but you need to accept that reality.  Also you feel you have not explored enough to feel comfortable in the long term relationship.\n\nAbout your jealousy.  It seems you are more jealous of his experiences and maybe their possible expertise than anything else.  It doesn't sound like he's thinking about them or even wants them.  The fact that he told you about them and you probably pushed him to give details, says that he's not trying to hide anything… he's being upfront… give him a lot of credit for that.\n\nNow I've been with some women in the past that could rock your world in bed… however they turned out to be psychopaths.   So again realize your boyfriend is with you not them.  These women are no longer in a relationship because they could not hold his interest the way you are.  He wants to marry you and be with you forever so they should be jealous of you !\n\nYou really need to tone it down on the jealousy.  Work hard to come to terms with this.  This will destroy a relationship especially if you continue to escalate it into something it's not.  \n\nThe other part of your issue is a bit more complicated because it involves the number of partners you have not had and you feel you are missing.   You feel it's not fair that he has had more sexual experiences then you.   You have to ask yourself do you want to get five guys to sleep with to fell even.  (By the way my e-mail is at the bottom of the page we can reduce this to 4).  What if you say you get 6 guys does this mean you're going to let him sleep with one more girl before you get married?    It's not fair but then again life is never fair.\n\nDon't get me wrong I do understand your yearning to try to be with others.  You only live once.  Others might teach you to do something sexually different and exciting but on the other hand they might be less capable than her future husband.  The other side of this “affair” is… you go out with a gentleman that interested in your adventure, no strings attached, just sex… shake hands afterwards…. he gets in bed with you, he is hot looking, you get down to his manhood... wow that’s big…. he makes love all night long and you come five times.   Now what .... you just learned that your future husband is not as skilled as you thought… but he will be with you the rest of their life.  \n\nIf you do this to catch up are you going to tell your future husband?   Wouldn't this now make him jealous as you are feeling?   If you decide not to tell him and keep your secret that might work.  But being in a few arguments with women I can assure you he might pull it out of your history bag and in the heat of an argument, say ..…”And I slept with Rambo” !\n\nYou said you’re jealous of these ex-girlfriend's for different reasons and you feel you will “never be… good in bed.     I think you may be confusing the number of partners somehow equals how good they are in bed.  Quantity does not equal quality.   \n\nIf you want to be good in bed you need to be good in bed… it does not necessarily mean more partners.  While a couple of partners might give you some new techniques, positions or STDs … it really comes down to you reading about these things, studying them, discussing fantasies and other ideas with your future husband and trying them out together.  Now he may hesitate at first… and say you're just fine (guys are so stupid) but push the point.  Hopefully he won't be the kind guy who says…
246608
I feel for you, but I have to say, this is not the way it's suppose to be, and , like I say to my girlfriend who feels the same as your some of these women :"your vagina isn't made of gold, my dear, so give it up."\nThis goes deep though. As females in America, we are taught from a young age to not have sex. To hold on and gain respect. Boys, at the most, are taught to be careful with getting a girl prgnant or catching something, so there is a difference right there. Just because a girl marries, doesn't mean all the mental drilling goes away. It is always in the back of their minds. Woman are often left with the feeling that they are "dirty" during and after, and then with the man needing his alone time afterwards, the feeling is compounded.\nMy husband and I have been together for almost 4 years. I adore him, and he turns me on. I have never not wanted him, and I am almost always the initiator.We have the mind set that there should be notthing that we won't do with each other, as long as we both consent. I would never "use" sex. it is a very healthy part of our lives, and that man would have no reason to look elsewhere becasue of it.\nPerhpas more woman could look at the situation this way; If the man is working hard, and the wife is able to afford things and a lifestyle that you couldn't before him, and he's good and true to her, then the wife should LOVE to have sex with him, take care of him, and keep him happy at home, because the minute he threatens to leave and find another, she'd be wishing she did pay attention.\nWe do have to also consider another possibilty; If the woman doesn't want sex too often, it may be because her man that she has chosen does not excite her, or fulfill her needs enough.Maybe he isn't trustworthy, or doesn't make enough money (sadly, this is a primal need) Maybe there sexual techniques aren't the same, who knows. The list goes on.\nKnow that you are speaking specifically about a small group of woman in your question/statement.\nI am not one of these woman, and we are out there.passionate and attentive till the end.
193774
sex isn't just an act there are emotions that will go along with being with someone in this way . If he really loves you he will wait dont comprimise your morals  your only a virgin once once you have you cant go back  yes you can remain from having sex but your so young sex will always be there. i dont know him  but the guys i dated will tell you what ever it takes to get you into bed the good ones wont pressure you    i know  its hard  we have all been there   also if you happen to get prenant are you really ready for  all that respnsiblity  it will change your life .  some people are more mature than others at this age  just write down your thoughts  maybe seeing it on paper will help you decide    go talk to girls your age and get there input the ones that have babies on just the ones that have been through this stuff   you said you have morals and goals    if you are a religious person  go talk to a  teen  counselor than can help without judging  you . and if your parents  change their mind and decide to press legal charges against him because of his age  prison isnt going to be a place for him    dont risk  doing that to him     even if you dont want them to they can still override  and go to the law    i'm  not trying to scare you  just want you to get all the  facts before you make the decision   i wish someone would have told me about all the emotionally things that go along with sex    i have been with several  guys  when i was your age  i'm 20 something   and i still have  emotions from my first time  and  the times after  that.  there is so much life to experience  take it and run but be carful.
436799
Relax, it is just who he is.  Growing up we all experience life differently and develop different ideas regarding how to treat people.  Your current boyfriend sounds like he has grown up with the idea that men shouldn't be aggressive and force sex on women.  I can relate to him in that to a large degree I feel the same way.  We see and hear so much about men forcing women into having sex that some of us tend to go over board the opposite direction.  He feels like he is doing the right thing by waiting for you to initiate things rather than forcing it on you.  The best thing you can do is to talk to him and let him know it is ok for him to initiate things some times.  Realize though this will be hard for him to do so be patient and be glad you have a guy that respects you and doesn't feel like your required to have sex with him when ever he wants it.
558886
Trust me, I know EXACTLY what you're going through, I was in Love with my best friend and after we dated, it wasn'tthe same for a while, he actually dated my female best friend and somehow, I managed to stomach it through their entire year and a half realtionship still being best friends with my first love. It could just be that you "gave him your body" so to speak, if you were a virgin before it, you may be tricking yourself into believe he;s the one for you because of that, sex can really mess with your head. Tough it out and see what happens with his girlfriend, try to stay close friends without letting your emotions hurt your friendship.
380650
Do what feels comfortable to you and him.  Take your time and work up to it.  He should spend time with foreplay so you will be wet and lubricated and/or use a lubricating jelly such as KY Jelly.  He should work in slowly the first time.  It may or may not seem a little uncomfortable, but if you relax your muscles in that area, it will be easier.\n\nIf your hymen has not broken, since you are a virgin, there is likely to be a little blood.  Do not worry about that.  It's normal for a virgin because of the hymen breaking.  Sometimes it is broken anyway because of sports, etc. and you won't bleed.\n\nAnother young gal once asked me what it would be like.  I told her that I had seen how her intended looked at her and he adored her. I knew that he would be gentle and loving and she would be just fine.  When she came back from the honeymoon, we had a little reception for them.  She took me aside and said, "You know that little conversation we had?"  I said, "Yes...."   And she gave me the hand gesture that meant everything was wonderful, with a big smile on her face and a wink.\n\nIf your intended loves you, it will be just fine.  Relax and enjoy becoming one.\n\nBest Wishes for your future as man and wife.  God Bless!\n\nSue
285650
I think this is very risky business, it can make someone feel so jealous and insecure. If he just keeps asking to have anthoer person in the bedroom it would make me feel that he's not happy with me sexually. I think if this is something that your going to choose both of you better agree its a one time thing, and also it better be with someone that you will never see agian.