i am a hospice nurse who has just learned today that my 33 year old daughter in law has stage three ovarian cancer. she is to have surgery on weds. nd i am sure that there will be further staging done. i am distraught over this dx as is my son, husband and the rest of the family. jennifer has two children, ages 14 and 10 . i need to know how long she might have to spend with them and us. i want to make whatever time that she has be the best time fo her life.
209441
The 5-year-survival rate is a statistical way of looking at the death rate in a cancer. You can look it up online (I have to say, it is a rather depressingly low number) but please keep this in mind: It cannot tell you anything about your daughter's individual chances since statistics only deal with groups.\nSome people can die from othe stage 2 cancer in 6 months, others will live with a stage 4 cancer for 10 years. \nYour best bet is an honest discussion with the oncologist but always keep in mind, noone can give you an absolute number. They just don't know. How you react to treatment, how fast the cancer grows - it is different for different woman.\nMy mother died last year of ovarian cancer, between diagnosis stage IV and death were only 9 months. In this time we just did our best to be there for her, helped her with everyday work as much as possible, talked to her when and about what she wanted - including death. Towards the end  we all put our lifes on hold while hers ran out, just to be there for her. Most people aren't lucky enough to be able to do this. But she was very grateful to have her family to rely on. I don't believe this is much of a comfort for you. \nI wish you and your daughter the very best of luck.
305653
I TALK TO MY MOM .MY BEST FRIEND EVERY DAY . I TELL HER THAT, I DO LOVE HER EVERY DAY ,SHE IS 75 YEARS OLD .WE HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME IN THE DOCTOR OFFICE AND THE HOSPITAL -3 DAYS LAST WEEK .2 DAYS THIS WEEK .5 HOURS TUESDAY . WE GET THE GIGGLES .THEY ARE CHECKING FOR CANCER . I HOPE I GET TO KEEP MY BEST FRIEND
61013
My heart goes out to you and your sister.  People DO survive lung cancer.  Taking chemo is a tough decision to make, it can destroy the quality time you may have left IF  hers is NOT in a curable stage.  Most doctors WILL give honest answers IF the patients ASK:  Is my cancer curable?  What are my chances of surviving with surgery only?  What are my chances of surviving WITH and WITHOUT chemo? Or  WITH and WITHOUT radiation?\nShe might need you to go with her to ask these questions, (I encourage you to WRITE DOWN your questions, and let the doctor SEE you have a list of questions...) for the support, and so you can reaffirm what she was told.   An amazing number of people are unable to clearly remember and process the info they are given when the disease is life-threatening.  If you were with her, and later she can't quite recall the information, you could gentley help her work through the answers.\n Encourage her to get second opinions if she feels she needs more information.  Not EVERY form of cancer, not EVERY patient is good candidate for chemo.  Chemo can often cause more life ravaging consequences than the cancer itself.  I can understand her hesitancy in NOT jumping into chemotherapy.  Please do not let anyone make her feel like a "quitter" or guilty for NOT choosing chemo IF HERS IS not curable.  Perhaps she will choose to focus her fight on maintaining her dignity, independence, and quality of life as long as she is able to- IF HERS IS NOT IN A CURABLE STAGE.  \nSometimes radiation and other cancer treatments are given as a palliative measure, meaning it will not CURE the cancer, but hopefully if can keep the tumors from causing decreasing function of of organs in the chest, or from causing increased pain.\nIf it IS treatable, and if it IS a stage of cancer that will repond to surgery, chemo, and radiation, etc, it may make it easier for her to bear the treatments if she knows she DOES have a chance to survive.  She has a right to that information about her own particular stage of cancer before she makes the choice. Take care, I wish you both well.
119027
i am extremely sorry dude. if man can predict his lifetime, nothing else would be a more advanced technology. i cannot tell it. but please enjoy each and every moment with her. everyone has to die. maybe it is quite early for her. convey my regards to her. take care
532090
Yes, I think everyone does at some point in their lives. I see you have posted this question several times so I know you are in a really bad place right now.\n\n  I'm very sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your daughter. I can relate to you so well because I have lost two of my own children, a daughter and son both. My daughter was stillborn in 2002 and my son was premature in 2003, he lived for 2 days with the help of machines but died in my arms after they convinced me to unhook the machines. For me, it's the guilt that is eating me alive. What if I had gone to a different doctor? Why didnt I take it easier during the pregnancies? Why in the h*ll did I let them convince me to unhook the machines??!....  I have not been the same since, nothing seems to matter or worth any effort on my part.  You arent really "living",  you're just "existing", right? \n\n  I have found that it helps to talk about it, even if that only means writing out your feelings where no one will ever see it unless you want them to. I have found several support groups for bereved parents online that allow you to post stories, picture, even chat with others about what you're going through; that has helped a lot.No one should have to endure losing their child, that just isnt the way its suppose to be. I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk please know that I am here! Take care of yourself and remember that your daughter is watching over you. I love you too.
645988
I am so sorry to hear that.  I know what you are going through.  Both of my grandfathers died from cancer (lung) and there was nothing they could do about it.  As far as your nanna is concerned, it's only going to take time.  I don't know if you are religious or not, but sometimes just a prayer and hug is all it takes.  It's sweet that you are there with her and you really are  doing more than you realize.  I'm sure she appreciates it greatly.  It's not something that's easy and quick to get over.  Just sit by her and let her talk to you if she needs to.  You and your family have my greatest sympathy and prayers.
156217
At this state &  stage of her life, I think what to 'do' is more important than what to 'get'.  Give her your TIME.\n\nIf she hasn't gone for a 2nd or 3rd medical opinion, I will encourage her to do so.  There are enough cases of wrong diagnosis; and enough unethical medical practices have been exposed - profit and money driven!  So the importance of 2nd/3rd party medical opinions.\n\nHelp her keep optimistic about it all and support her with the will to live and not to just surrender and let go.  A strong will to live sometimes can turn the body around to fight some illnesses.  I am a strong believer of not giving up too soon.  I know it is easier said than done, but do help her stay positive.\n\nWhen two or more opinions point to the sad diagnosis as positive, then try to help her to accept it calmly.  Then put an urgent strategic plan in place to optimise as much of whatever time that's left on her side.\n\nTIME.  Yes, give her your time.  Your unwaivering support.  At this stage in her life, I guess materialistic things don't matter much anymore.  If she is strong enough to still take a holiday, encourage her to go.  If she hasn't got the funds, put the hat around and collect some money to visit a place of her dream if it is still affordable.\n\nBut sometimes a lot of things can be had without the need of money.  Give her your love.  Your trust.  Your whole self.  Most of all give her reassurance.  Tell her you will be there for her now, tomorrow, and after she's gone to the heavenly realms.  Say your sorrys if there was any hurt.\n\nIf she is a Christian and you're a Christian comfort her and remind her this is only the beginning of another life without pain and sorrow.\n\nLet her feel that she will always be a part of your lives even though she may be gone. Her presence will always be felt.  Her spirit and her laughters will always be alive.\n\nFind out her favourite tree/plant.  Go out buy that young plant.  Take her out to the garden, help her plant it in her favourite spot in her garden or even your garden in memory of her. Take a few photos of it.\n\nOur lives will someday all end in a memory.  Most importantly it is the memories of how we lived it and how we helped others lived it.\n\nA lady friend gave my neighbour - Ana, a cutting of her mature plant 2 days before she passed away from heart attack. Thirteen years ago today, it has bloomed into a shady tree.  Ana sits under that tree all the time and think of her lady friend, gone but still 'there' to shade her from the hot sun.\n\nLet us all live today as if it was our last.  \n\nTake care!
183112
I'm so sorry for the ordeal you both are having right now. My father has liver cancer now and my mother died because of liver cancer too.\n\nWhat I can say is never be apart from her. Be strong, brave, and patient. Talk to her and tell her good stories as it will make her feel very comfortable. Try to do a lot of fun things like going on a picnic with her while she still can. Visiting your relatives and going out with friends will help too.\n\nI suggest your wife go on holistic diet which is consuming vegetables and fruits. My father is doing that now in order to keep fighting the cancer and he no longer eats red meat as it will make the cancer grow stronger. Also the main point of holistic treatment is not consuming chemical-based medicines. You can find holistic books in amazon.com and I'm sure there's a doctor specialized in holistic treatment in your area.\n\nI'm wishing the best of luck for both of you. Keep praying, always believe in God and dont forget that miracles do happen. We can share a lot about this :) Cheers!
207407
When you truly love someone, you understand that sometimes families need each other. My dad only sees my stepmother, Kathy, a couple of times a month for the last 6 months. Her mother is aging and her father is dying of cancer. He is 87 and their is nothing really that any doctor can do for him short of kemo therapy. Kinda stupid to put an 87 year old man with advanced prostate cancer through all that, not to mention the daily 2 hour drive she must drag her mother along with to get to the hospital.  My father says, "I don't know why his doctor even recommended the kemo knowing his condition and what it would mean to Kathy, but I'm not going to take away the only thing she's got to hold on to."\n\nI think that is true love and understanding. How can you come between a family during times of crisis? If he is not willing to compromise I would just say to myself, "I gave it my best but I got to do what I got to do."
95944
When my son was born he became severely ill. He was taken to children's for surgery. I had just miscarried before I got pregnant with him and he was kind of my last hope. We felt awful when he didn't recover right away like they said he would. He lost a lot of weight before he started to come around, and we were there, in the hospital, for about a week and a half. Our biggest inspiration was the other parents we saw and talked too. Some had been there months waiting on transplants that probably wouldn't come. Some knew they would never take their children home, and some helped their children plan their own funerals. What was a week and a half to all that. The point is there is always someone worse off then you. You have your life and you should enjoy it. You never know when your time is up, so you better live now.
170950
Well when I wa 19 I had ovarian cancer.  They said that I couldnt have kids.  Now 8 years later I have three beautiful children.  You have to belive that miracles can and do happen.  Best of luck to you.
357033
I dont want to alarm you.  But my mother had breast cancer and it spread into her bones after being told 4 years earlier that she was cancer free.  After her dignosis in May of 2003, sadly it took intill Dec of 2004 to kill her.  She was only 49.  They tried everything from chemo to radiation.  They even had her on a hormone pill but the cancer had just spread so much.  I am really sorry about your friend my heart goes out to her.  I would find out what stage she is in.  My mother was in stage four so there was really not much they could do.  Through the treatments they provided it did prolong her life for a year and half after given a timeline of 6 months.  And again I am truly sorry about your friend.
182277
How sad that it took three years. How about a welcome to our circle of love party. Probably not too loud and rowdy but soft sweet and accepting. Everyone should show her how glad you are that she is here in your family of friends. I hope everything will go well good luck and bless you all for your acceptance.
197055
Although it is hard to come to terms with what is going on at the moment you must keep in mind that your uncle will reach a place where most of us could only dream of being. My cousin whom was 22 just past away with CF which is a lung disease and i took it pretty bad.. but i knew that when he went it was gods plan to make him healthy and happy and not to suffer anymore here on earth. Also you will too one day meet up with him and be a family as you are now here on earth. Keep your chin up and be strong for him as he has gone though so much with his chemo and the pain. You will be able to say your last goodbyes and when you do you will feel a sence of calmness in you. I will pray for you and your family.
50424
Hi Patz! I have really good news today and I'm glad that your question was still open.My mother was diagnosed with cancer almost a year ago and I was devastated by this news.This past months were by far the most difficult of my whole life! I've been living whith her and we had the opportunity to talk a lot,to became even closer than we already were.Yesterday,I took her to the doctor and he told us that her body is finally free of the cancer cells.I was so happy and so relieved! We know that this can came back any time but,for now,we are celebrating life! I can't think of better news!\nMoon :)
411516
Sorry to hear about your uncle. I've been an oncology nurse for 9+ years and my best advice is just love your uncle like you always have and don't be afraid to discuss death and dying issues with him. Don't be afraid to say the word "cancer." Find out what he wants, if he has a living will in place, does he want to  be resuscitated if he stops breathing, etc...Letting him decide how he wants things to be now-while he's able-will help give him a much needed sense of control in an otherwise helpless feeling situation. The trick to taking care of or being with most sick people, is remembering that they don't want to be treated like they are "sick" people. He's still the same man on the inside that he was before the cancer started doing it's own thing to his body. He's more than his cancer. His life is more than this disease. It can be a real relief for terminal patients when people are just simply honest and say, " I just hate the thought of you not being with me," Or, "I'm so afraid when I think about you dying." Or, "Are you afraid of dying?" Give him permission to talk about the "elephant in the room," if you know what I mean. Good luck to you. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
512823
I read a story once about a woman this happened to.  She had been unable to conceive, and then learned just after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer that she was pregnant. She refused any kind of treatment out of fear it would hurt the baby.  She was warned that she and the baby could die if she let it go that long.  But she held on.  She had a perfectly healthy baby boy, and then when she went to begin cancer treatments, it was gone!  It was as if the pregnancy had healed her.  I'm not saying this will be the case for your sister, but the body is an amazing thing.  And of course, don't leave God out of the picture- He can do anything!