He is waanting overnight visits which i oppose until he moves to a 3 bedroom where she has her own room. That lil boy is not her brother and i refuse to trust him alone at night in the room with her.  I offered him unlimited visits, i.e. keep her from sun up to midnite, just bring her home, now he has a problem cause i won't put her in a possibly harmful situation, so now he has petitioned the court.  i am just wondering where i start as far as research.  we are in va.
205309
I agree with you.  Stick to you guns.  They shouldn't be sleeping in the same room.  If the dad will put the boy in his room for the night, she could stay in his room.  (I don't know how you will KNOW, but I would at least suggest that as a possibility.)  She is your girl.  Protect her.  I can't imagine the courts going for that sort of a sleeping arrangement with kids of that much of an age difference.  It is definitely a bad situation.  She needs her own space.\n\nYou might need some professional evidence here.  If that is the case, enlist the help of your pediatrician.  Surely he/she will know about the dangers that you are trying to protect her from.  If the child has a therapist, she could do a letter as evidence for the court.  Any professional that you could use as a backup resource would be helpful to you are you argue this out.  Go prepared to make your case.  Your local social services agency may be able to help you and/or offer some guidelines that they follow for these situations.\n\nHere are some links that may help:\nhttp://www.casoxford.on.ca/html/faq.html#8\nhttp://www.familyfun.go.com/parenting/child/dev/expert/dony127fasharebed/\nhttp://apu.3.forumer.com/a/sharing-rooms_post6015.html\n\nThere are so many more.  Try a www.ask.com search about Should opposite sex siblings share a room?  Or Google: opposite sex siblings sharing rooms .  I found lots of opinions about this.
241397
ok hunny been there done that.  with your sweetie i cant give a guarenteed answer but i had that problem with my son's father when we were together. he thought it was his responsibilty to look after his mom.  last straw for me was when she "borrowed" 200 bucks to take his sister back to the mainland for ferry and gas and i found out that she used it to go bowling. man i was pissed beyond recognition since the money came out of my account which i used to pay ALL the bills and he wouldnt ask her to pay it back. in your case hes the child and unless they are unable to work or seriously something wrong with them then his responisbility is to you and his children.........however many kids there are and his parents should know that their grandbabies come first and foremost. doesnt matter whose kids they are they are always first and shame on his ex for trying to stick him with two kids that arent his. personally i wouldnt put up with whats going on but maybe make a really big chart and stick it up somewhere really obvious (maybe in the bathroom right over the toilet where he presumably STANDS every morning to take a piss and cant miss it) and put up a couple column where you detail the money your bro gives you for gas and the money his parents drain out every month and ask him how if hes going to support his parents where is the money going to come from for paying child support plus all the monthly bills. family is only as important as you make them and he needs to get rid of his and be a big boy. if they want to know his every move maybe perhaps you should suggest to his parents that he get his old room ready so he can move back in it or offer to move your entire family his kids your kids an all into THEIR house so that they can be in control and you can stay rent free and they can babysit.  all else fails change your phone number refuse to open your door and have all the accounts put in your name with only you being able to access them. or as suggested by the others then by all means kick his ass to the curb............ but thats up to you and how much more of this you are willing to deal with.
355404
pretty interesting. I know that they will follow people from one place to another. If you want him to leave, you may want to try telling him that he is not wanted there, that he needs to go back to his house, or even encourage him to head for the light.  there are people that could help you find out what he wants. check with a medium for what to do...\nI know some people think this is crazy, but they piss-on stuff they do not understand, because they have tiny little closed minds!
616864
Hi, I keep a low profile when visiting my Alzheimer's Patients husband. He is in a care facility. It sounds to me that in your caring so much about your sons father, perhaps you have reacted to the lack of proper care he is receiving.\n\nThe law is on your side. He needs an advocate from the system to monitor his care. You pissed somebody off.\n\nYou might suggest that the authorities check on him in the middle of the night. They will look in his mouth with a flashlight, to see if his teeth are being brushed. Also, he should be re-positioned in his bed, and his depends checked, every two hours minimum. \n\nIf you just back off, and it sounds like you have, they will drop their guard, and then someone can nail them. Your son has rights to see his father, and unfortunately you might have to play hardball another way. Someone in this format must have the particulars on what you can do. This can effect your well-being, esp. if you are on SSD. \n\nSounds like he was dehydrated, I assume that is what you meant, when you said his Depends were dry for a long period of time. I think you just need to Zip your Lip, and hunker down, and get the proper Authorities on your side. The system is corrupt. During my training for Alzheimers, I fought for the rights of the Patients, along with another C.N.A, and a Nurse. \n\nMany issues were never resolved. At that time, I was encouraging relatives of the Patients, to visit at unusual times to view the subtle abuses\n\nUnfortunately, the abusers already had an anchor in the Facility, and it was impossible for us to make any changes. It went to the top. I finished my Certifications and left the facility, as did my co-workers who really cared.\n\nSounds like you need to step back, send in a spy with a camera, and a time stamp on it. I used to see people in another section, sitting in their wheel chairs, waiting  three to four hours, to be taken to bed. No hygeine, just flopped in bed. The way they landed, was the way they were all night. I would walk down the hallway, and try to make them comfortable. \n\nAlso I  had three old Vets with Hep. C. I was reported to the upper staff, for wearing Nitrile gloves to hand feed bread, etc.,to keep from transferring from one patient to another.The Facility had no Universal Precautions in place. (how to handle blood etc.) I know exactly what you are talking about with his care.\n\nWe had a little **** of a Gestapo, mean, mean mean. I told her, that for every mean thing she said to a patient, that I would be right behind her, saying something nice. I went nose to nose with her on many occasion.\n\nIt is true that Caregivers are over worked and under paid, but when on burn out, guess who suffers.\n\nWell, I hope you can work your way back to what you had with your son and his father. He still needs you. You will find a way. \n\nDon't talk to his Guardian at this time. It is just ammunition for her.\nCan you send him a bouquet of flowers, say from neighbors gardens for him through a friend? \n\nHe will have a Caregiver that will tell him it is from you. There is always the good and the evil. The good will win over.\n\n\n\n\n.
299676
sounds to me like it wouldnt be very 'easy' for her to gain custody of the 13 yr old. she has a lot of things going against her like lying to the courts in the past about how many kids she has, how some dont even live with her besides this boy, etc. but its hard to say. i just hope that the boy is happy and loved where he is now and wont become a pawn
667611
you have to prove that she is an unstable mother. but even if you dont get custody you still have the right to visit your son as much as you want to, no matter how far he is from you. And if she doesnt let you visit your son then report the bitch, if your son is old enough to make his decision then go back to court and the judge can hear both the woman side your side and your son decision  But Good luck to you and your son!!!!!!!!!!!!!
472825
OK mom.  First of all don't make excuses for your son and let him suffer the consequences of his actions.  Second, each State had it's own laws and each of those laws has certain criteria that must be met in order to charge a person with that crime.  In Alabama there must be intent to commit another crime within that building in order for it to be a burglary (breaking and entering).  If that intent can't be proven then the appropriate charge would be some degree of criminal tresspass.    And by the way, the lack of a posting of a sign does not give anyone carte blanche to enter a building.  Hope it works out for you but most of all I hope he learns from his mistake.
354417
his idea is nothing short of abuse.  \n\nIf you are in the US, get to the courhouse and file for temporary support and visitation schedules.  \n\nWith a guy like this, you also ned to get an attorney asap.
359491
He is their father.  He will probably get them one night a week in the divorce if he pushes it anyway.\n\nMaybe you could strike a compromise with him.  How about evenings only 2 nights a week instead of overnight.. to keep the continuity for your daughter to sleep at home. . OR maybe just one night a week they stay the night with him.  The 14 year old leagally can probably decide on their own where they want to be.\n\nMy son can see his father anytime he wants or needs to.  I don't feel threatened by it.  \n\ngood luck to you during this difficult time
225171
ok #1 if he is paying child support then he has every right to see them...i mean legal right...go to the courts and tell them that he has been paying child support for how ever long and tell them that he was awarded visitation rights and that he has not got to see the kids...tell them why and they should contact her and let her know that she has to let him see them....unless he has been proven unfit..then they may ask for supervised visitation...but it's better than nothing......and it's free......let the courts handle it..and if he has been awarded visitation then she could be in trouble for not upholding to that....who knows...it's worth a try...GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
133565
I think you need to tell him he needs to talk to his ex about coming up with a disciplinary plan. Discipline must be consistant at both of their homes. Kids will act the way they are allowed to. You definately can't ban them from coming to your house but you just need to make it known that they can't behave that way in your home.
434185
Your son did good by leaving and should counter file against her for filing false police report. Also if there were any adult witness in the facility it would be best for him to get statements form them to take with him that he was the bigger person and left.
205239
What your Gma wants and what your hubby wants is not relevant right?\n\nAs Mothers, we are expected to do what is RIGHT for our children - at all times.  If Hubby is mad, then he can do something about it, by finding a new place/safe place to live and provide some decent food etc..\n\nGma, she needs to be seriously thanked for what she's done.  She probably DOES have some grounds for taking custody, because it cam be perceived that you abandoned her.\n\nEither way dear, someone is gonna get ticked off right?  So WHO is the priority?  Your Gma, Hubby or your child?  For me it would be my child hands down.  I would not let myself be separated from my child at ANY cost unless absoultely necessary.  \n\nNot having a safe place to live, proper food are good reasons, but see..... I'd be out the door WITH my daughter and saying hubby, when WE can work out a safer place for our daughter, we can reconnect.. until then, I'm gonna stay wih Gma (or any other relative that would help you).\n\nYou need to 'define' how you can get yourself out of this mess WITH the best interests of your child at heart!  That has to be # 1 for you.  And sometimes those choices are hard, but NECESSARY as I that you are missing VALUABLE bonding time with your child, and these first few months re very important!  There becomes an attachment disorder of sorts, when the mother isn't around.... please be careful of that.  \n\nI wish you all the best, and your family too.  No mater how it works out!  God Bless the baby, she is the true innocent here, as she cannot speak/defend or noursih herself.. much less 'speak to where she'd like to live"
116528
BEFORE YOU READ THIS,  You accept that I am just giving my opinion, and NOT giving legal advice, else you should NOT read further.  You agree not to act on my opinions stated herein, and seek the council of a legal professional when ultimately making a decision to act.\n\nREVISED.  He has children with your sister?  She is an idiot for allowing him to be a deadbeat.  And he is a lowlife, but not the only lowlife in the world.  They are all over the place.  So...What are you going to do? I feel for you and your situation. I understand how difficult it might be to move, but what choice do you have?  You have to consider your own well being.  If the house belongs to your family, and you sister seems to be in control of the house.  AND chooses to allow him to stay, then what OTHER options are there?  Your sister has to do the kicking out.  You can do it, but it seems you are not in a position to defend yourself.  You need to bring in someone who can help, either law enforcement, or otherwise.  A rich friend or Strong Friend to Kick his A%% out of there.\nThat said...\n\nYOu didn't say who he threatened.  You?  If so, you really need to get out of there, even if you are not convinced he would cause you harm.  If someone says it, they are capable of acting on it.  You don't need to stay there, and yes if he said he would cause you bodily harm, you can call the authorities and have him charged for assault.  Sadly, the police don't and won't do much for you on this. The laws are set up to protect the guilty.  Without witness it is him agains you.  Remember that.  You are in a no win situation really.\n\nYour sister has made a choice to be with this person.\nYOU NEED TO MOVE OUT...\nWhat you do after that is up to you.(pressing charges for instance)\n\nIf you feel she is in danger , call the police.\nIf you feel her kids are in danger call Child Protective Services. (remember they can make someone's life miserable), so don't do that unless you truly feel the kids are in danger.\n\nIMPORTANTLY this is my opinion, and any ideas given here must be taken as such.  If you want real legal advise, you should consult with an attorney in your area of jusisdiction.\n\nYou don't like this guy, and it sounds like you have a good reason, but you NEED to remember, your sister has made the choice to have him there.  YOU can leave. You don't have to stay there, and even if it is an inconvenience, you move and find a more peaceful place to live.  Better for you in the end anyways.\n\nSOrry for you, but you chose to (OR NOT TO) live there.  Your sister is a big girl, let her make her own decisions.\nYou never stated her feelings about this.  Is she scared to kick him out?  Again, if so, she needs to get law enforcement involved.  Restraining orders are a start.  At least then if he shows up, he can be arrested.  This is not an easy situation.  You should try to find as much support as you can BEFORE making moves.\n\nI know this is to the point and a bit sharp, but those are the  real life choices you have to make.  Good luck and best wishes to you!\n\nMove out.
243702
I am sorry to hear about your situation. I was in a similar situation 7 years ago but her father was actually convicted of molesting a young girl in town and he was sent to jail so i have sole custody of her. But I do know from working with troubled kids that there are supervised visits you can ask for where the visits are in a safe location with a member of social services or another agency like that present during the visit. It may be an option for you to look into and i hope everything works out.
571610
If you have filed what he is doing is CONTEMPT of court! Neither party can keep a child from the other party.\n\nYou need to make up your mind if you want to have joint custody where for example you have her one week him the next or....full custody where you have her and he gets visitation rights.  Most states will encourage a joint custody...makes it a little easier.  If I were you I would start getting going on the paperwork for filing.  You can file a pro se on your own..depending on your situation you maybe able to file a waiver of fees.  contact me at summer_kisses_06@yahoo.com and I'll help you thru.  I myself am doing this and have 3 children.....Ill be more than happy to help you.
583860
If you have raised her right then you have nothing to worry about. With the way you want to protect her, I believe you did. Just be involved in her life. Know the what, when, where, who, time line of the events she takes place in. Remember that checking up on her is your right and she does not have the right to privacy until she is out of your house. My parents used to go through my room and I thought they were so wrong for doing that, but now I realize that it kept me out of a lot of trouble.