my wife is having an affair with one of my friend. (had similar 2 affairs before) when I asked her to stop these, or get separated, she is not willing to leave me. she is making my life more painful. what should I do?
208817
Well, if you're willing to leave her and can manage on your own, or have someone who can help you, you can file for divorce. Only you know if the pain is worth the wife and what she offers. However, I think she's wrong to do this, and if she ever blames you, because of your condition or something, she married you like this. she knew what she was going to be going through.
647303
Are either of you involved with or married to other people?  So the separate lives you mention, do they include other romantic partners?  If so, maybe she is already involved with someone? Perhaps she intends to keep the "friendship" (between the 2 of you) just a friendship, (only).  If both of you are unattached, then make arrangements to be in the same country, and declare  your feelings face to face!\n\nGood luck!
74113
Try playing in Candlyland.  The answer is obvious: If you love the girl you get along with, then thats that.  If you want an affair at the cost of ryuining what you have with your girl, then get with her friend.  But trust me when I say if they are best friends they will know about you hooking up with both of them.  Problems can only arise when 2 women get involved.\n\nFollow your heart and ignore the friend.
620822
I think I figured out what u are saying!\n\nI think you are a very good friend for trying to help your friend through this.  It sounds serious so she may need to go and talk to a counsellor about it.  The counsellor will help her and whatever is said will be confidential.\n\nIf the woman is married and the man is also married, its just asking for problems.  The best thing for her to do is to sit down and evaluate how important her marriage is to her and how important the other man is. \n\nIf she decides she dosnt want anything to do with the other man, then she should change her phone number and move away from him.  She should make it impossible for him to contact her.  It will be hard but she will have you for support and also a counsellor (if she chooses to talk to one).\n\nEither way, she needs to decide what she wants, she cant go on like this, its not only affecting her and making her depressed but its upsetting you too as her friend.\n\nDont tell her what to do, because its her life and she has to suffer the consequences.  Just try and be there for her and be her friend no matter what she decides.  \n\nI hope it all works out well in the end
88427
well, first off, you insensitive jerk... you shouldn't have married this woman and promised her your heart until the end of time if you were going to get "tired" of marriage. and if you really feel this way, you shouldn't cheat. you should at least have the respect to end the marriage before finding someone new. rather than bringing her home aids or something, to make it where she can't ever find happiness again. you know what, I hope she gets on the computer one day and finds all this stuff you've been writing, and dumps your sorry ass!
137573
Firstly: tell your wife if you are certain now. You don't want to try to figure this out alone. I wonder why if you told your wife about her friend's behavior your wife didn't respond well... Odd. Secondly: Are you SURE that she wants to get with you? Maybe you're misinterpreting her. But if you're definitely sure, then, after telling your wife, just avoid the other woman. \n\nAll of the above is assuming you don't want to cheat on your wife. If you do, then....I guess you don't have any problems then, do you?
116493
First you really should talk to your wife, tell her that you want out of the marriage. You shouldnt be with someone if you are married to another... After you and your wife seperate then you can think about the other woemn,.,
53800
Joe, I can relate to your situation. My husband is in work release and right now he is accusing me of the exact same thing. Just when I think that we have gotten past this something else pops up and we start this mess all over again. Are you positive that there is an affair going on? Speak to your wife in a loving tone and really let her know that this is bothering you. Let her also know that you won't stand for any lies. If she is unfaithful then the pressure of you being nice is going to make her feel guilty that she will admit to her wrong. Just so you know, I have never ever cheated on my husband and I wouldn't ever because of the love and the respect that I have for him and myself. Marriage is a give and take and both husbands and wives need to do this more and more. Good luck and may God bless you through this journey.
436296
Fine -- you can't control your feelings.  But you CAN control your behavior.  Feel whatever you feel, just don't touch this other woman.  Go to counseling like you had the idea of doing, and figure out how to fall back in love with your wife.
178507
As much as someone annoys you or is rude cheating really isn't the answer.\n\nHave you tried talking to your wife about why she is acting this way? What about marital counseling? \n\nDivorces aren't fun and sure as heck are not pretty. So before you go down that road make sure that's what you really want.\n\nIf you feel that is the way to go then I would go consult a lawyer and start taking the steps needed. No reason to drag it out - especially if you've already moved on.
322166
I know how bad this sounds, but you should tell her fiancee! If she dosn't stop, she might go on to adultery!
232531
The only solution to this mess you have gotten yourself into is to come clean with your wife. Your marriage couldn't have been that happy if you felt the need to cheat in the first place. Maybe through counseling you can salvage your marriage. \nThis casual affair is not asking that you call this child yours. It IS your child regardless of whether you like it or not.\nYou made a mistake by trying to bribe this woman or asking for an abortion. That would make any woman angry.\nYou need to come clean NOW, if you wait, it WILL  come back to haunt you later.  Make sure you tell your wife yourself. it will be so much worse if she hears it from someone else. And believe me she will hear about it. You upset the other woman and she will tell whoever will listen about you.\nGood Luck!
574374
honestly i know how u feel, but trying to "control" the situation, that iswhat u r doing, will only make mattersworse, shewill go into further rebellion, and things in the marriage will go down hill.   part of Love is free and what holds it together is trust (and God) but if you don't have either of these it will never last.  you need to let her do her thing( not saying im choosing sides)  but if you let love go and its true love it will come back.  if you smother and squeeze it, it will flee from you.  as hard as it is, you need to give her what she needs (space and freedom) she is in the wrong ( married people do not belong at BARS).  LET GO OF THE REIGNS bite your tongue, and tell her go ahead (just pray when shes out that she will come to realize its not the place to be. good luck
240116
I agree, the hell with the wife. It is obvious you dont care about loosing her but what if you keep your best friend and he sleeps with someone you really dont want to loose. Not worth the risk to me. Get rid of both of them!!
106730
Hey man I know where you are coming from. My wife just told me that cheated on me with another man about 2 months ago. I went nutts, but not too bad. Luckily she told me at our preachers house. After she told me I did not know what to do. Because in the bible it states that that is the only reason for divorce. I sat down and talked with her and the preacher. We agreed that we would stay together. I wanted to leave her but then I didn't. I love her so much, and not only because we have kids. I am still having a hard time getting over it. Like I said it has already been 2 months since she told me and I still can not sleep nor trust her. There are still times when I want to leave but I can't because I love her too much. Also you don't want to go out and do the same thing she did. It won't do any good, except have a burden on your shoulders. Just hang in there man. Pray about it and see what God wants you to do. God Bless!
196747
You don't need to know what's on her mind .You need to get out of this situation as fast as you can. She is married w/a kid and you are in a no-win deal. Her husband is going to have to deal with her and her issues and you don't really have a dog in this fight.The sex might be good,but this woman has more baggage than a cargo terminal.Recipe for disaster,my friend.
326344
I am going to start out by saying that I understand first hand that sometimes you don't pick who you love ,love picks you but in a situation like this the only two people that are going to hurt in this situation is you and/or the wife. He is using you at his disposal but he want you to be there whenever he wants you to meanwhile he is with his wife pretending he love her. Now, put yourself in the position of the wife, how do u think she feels. I am sure u r a beautiful person and you deserve to have a man of your own. No one should be forced to wait for someone to love them unconditionally and only them. Don't be a better mistress or the other person, get what u deserve out of life and that's for a man to love you and only u. It will never work because men who are married and have mistresses end up either cheating on the mistress and the wife or leading the mistress to believe that he is going to leave his wife and 9 out of 10 never do. Please do what will make u happy but remember we are talking about real happiness and not just temporary happiness on a whim or some jump off time.\nMEN IS LIKE A BUS ONE COMES EVERY FIVE MINUTES AND I THINK ITS TIME FOR U TO GET OFF OF THIS BUS AND CATCH ANOTHER ONE, A FREE ONE. If not for me for u stand up and claim ur self respect back, one day u will be married and this could happen to you, only your the wife now.