I am 49 years old but I am so lonly . I have 4 children but all of them went and never call me I love my wife but she only crray she say why in the end of our life we must be lonly? And I cannot answer her why?
199521
How can you be lonely if you have a wife. Take her out places, 49 is not old at all. Do things that you used to do, you guys will enjoy yourselves, and all you'll need is your wife.
258862
do what makes you happy and fulfilled, you don't have to please anyone else or society anymore.  I am 39, never married & no kids and I prefer that over ever being divorced and putting kids through hell because of my own not so good choices.  I desire to be married someday, just not to the wrong one.  It's cool to be unique and different anyway.  Follow the road less traveled!!  & your heart!!
27467
I hate to have to break your rule because I am under 28 but over 21.  I know because a lot of my ex's were over 28 and a lot of friends and colleagues are in the age range as well.  \n\nI know for a fact that the word marraige is like taboo for some people because they feel like in some way this thing that is suppose to be happy is going to be a bad experience.  When you think about the divorce rates and how many people are having marital issues a lot of people attibute those issues to be being married instead of the real reason- THE COUPLE DID NOT THINK BEFORE THEY GOT MARRIED or are not aware of how to resolve their problems. \n\nMany people who have even been in long term relationships are not willing to even discuss marriage as an option.  I do not know why it seems so scary to so many people because marriage is suppose to be one of the greatest achievements in life.  This person is suppose to be your helper, lover, best friend and confidant.  Why wouldn't you want to spend everyday of your life with them? I think this is one of those questions that will never have a clear answer until we wake up and start realizing the importance of MARRIAGE.  It is the foundation for a family.  I could go on and on as to why people  are afraid to get married.  But my honest belief is that people are afraid of what could happen (in the negative instead of the positive).  \n\nI have friends who have been together for 4 yrs. and have children together but when you bring up marriage they are like "What? Who me? Oh, I'm not ready for that?" It is amazing.  It never fails to shock me. \n\nI will be getting married in one year and I look forward to the day that I become my mate's wife.  I feel like marriage only betters your life. I am sorry if this was long but I really have strong feeling about marriage.  Thanks for the question!  I hope you get a lot of answers.
293599
I'm 33  (although i feel 83!!!)  married with 3 children (5yrs, 4yrs and nearly 2yrs)\n\nGood on ya for 5 kids though!!  A braver  (and probably more exhausted..) woman than I !!
652447
The idiots always tend to answer first.  \n\nLife WILL get better.  I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife.  Speaking from some experience, I am "seeing" a widower who was married to his wife for 20-something years.  I did not know him or her when they were married and it will be one year this month since she passed away and he has two teenage children.\n\nIt will be hard and it will probably get harder for you as holidays come and go but you have to hang in there.  You should be so thankful that you met the love of your life, many of us never get that chance.  My guy never thought he would be with another woman, never wanted to.  It is still difficult for him at times and I have difficulty dealing with it at times too.  He pulls away from me to deal with it and I kind of freak out (read my posted questions).  He tells me that it is kind of hard for him to believe that his marriage is over and he sometimes feels like he is cheating.  Give it time.  Time is the only thing that will heal your pain.  Hang in there and live life for that baby of yours, she needs you to be happy.  If you need to talk, feel free to contact me - I kind of understand.
495592
It's hard to keep friends that are childless after you have one.  I can say this for experience.  After my son was born, me and my best friend didn't hang anymore.  Now if it is a true friend then you can count that you will always be there for eachother no matter what.  There are birthday parties, holidays and just days that you can say let's go to the park.  Only because a child is there it doesn't mean that you can't communicate, I think you can actually become better friends because there are more things that you go through when you are a mother, we usually need someone to talk to.  We need to relieve our stress after a stressfull day, I honestly wish I could have my friend still call me.  I invite her shopping but now she has new friends.  So I guess she wasn't a true friend.  I hope this answeres your question.
60502
Remind your wife that she knew you had kids before you were married and that she accepted you knowing that.  Don't just worry about her feelings consider those of your children.  Do you really think it will be so easy for them?  Your responsibility to them comes first.  They will always be a part of your life.  It is not fair for your wife to make you feel bad about taking care of your kids.  No matter what this will be hard on all of you and just remind your wife that you love her and your children and that it would make you very happy to know that she supports you in the good times and in the bad.
599028
Now my spouse makes me feel complete. It only took 30 years. All I can say is you have to compromise. If you fight, you can't leave , you can ignore each other until everything cools down. I watched my sibblings leave their spouses time and time again, they always went back. That was time wasted. Work things out. There are no 2 people perfectly compatable. You have to work at it. Even now , we are not even 80% compatable, but there was no way, even 10 years ago that I was gonna start over. You probably found the right person, but how would you know , now? Good luck.
660959
Sounds like she is a selfish spoiled woman. Marriage is about giving too, and mean comments are horrible! I would never do that, you are suppose to support and love, not yell and smash. Thank god you don't have kids! Can you see her giving them what they need?? Do you want children someday?? You need to ask yourself what you want out of life and if that envolves leaving a wicked woman then do it! You deserve to be happy!..Goodluck
415787
I still have a best friend and I am 33.  We met while doing PTA at school when our kids were younger.  We talk if not every day then every other day.  We are also in a couples poker group together with our spouses and our other "best" friends.  We jump from house to house once a month for this.  Sometimes we go shopping....our families go on a mini vacation together in the summers..... sometimes just the adults take a weekend.... we go to football games together......our kids all get along great and stick together.  I'd be lost without them!!!! (And I even have a big extended family on top of this - love this life!)
349502
Why do you feel sad?  We reap what we sow.  You were alone today because you haven't gone out of your way to make it any different (make friends).  Do you aknowledge anybody elses birthday?  I'm just asking these questions because I had the same thing happen to me years ago and I realized it had everything to do with my decisions.  \n\nHappy Birthday--we are here!
527853
If this woman is talking to you in a way that makes you feel like crap, then I think you have already answered your own question.  What do you mean by your last sentence, "Should I try to end the relationship?"  Do you somehow feel like she has started to end it & you want to finish it BEFORE she does?  If so, then do it, because nothing is worse than a person who feels the need to on-up the other in a "dumpee/dumper" situation.  You can get another woman, but you'll never get another Grandmother.  If you gave your word to your Family first, then you will be doing yourself a dis-service by going back on your word.  Your word is your bond.  If this woman (or any other) can't relate to what & who you are, then you gotta ask yourself WHY you are staying with this person.  If it's for her cash, then that will only make you feel like a bigger jerk.  Money does factor into it, but you gotta go with granny.  After she dies, you'll be able to live with yourself because you did what was right.  No woman or man should ever get in the way of family.  This shows lack of compassion. What will happen if you get sick or injured someday?  Will she leave you, or stick by you,  & help you?  Why not ask her these questions & see how she answers you!  I don't need the points, but I did feel the need to get my thoughts on this matter in print for others to read.  Many families are facing similar issues because rest homes are expensive & they treat patients poorly.  You aren't alone in taking on this massive endeavor.  By the way, you have taken on the role of caregiver, which is traditionally a womans job.  As a result, your woman now has stepped into a male role, being the breadwinner & working outside the home.  Don't sell yourself short for staying home & being a caregiver because it is a very important role that most of American Society overlooks & ignores.  Your parents taught you well & the world needs more people who have morals & values when it comes to aging people.  Don't be so proud as to not ask for help if you feel you need it from an outside agency.  Good luck!
592633
Firstly must say you seem like a very special man. Secondary I shall say that it is time that you concentrate on yourself a bit more (to be able to move forward)\n\nBe respectful, always reliable, helpful, be understanding, be her shoulder to cry on (life is funny.. but wheel turns). But at the same time give her space at this time as you don’t want to loose her.\n\nI had a friend who his wife left him for another man. They have two kids together. He was always there for her (but had other girlfriend but did not commit 100%: in fact I was one J ). If she was sick, or needed something, or pick their kids up: he was always there, kept nice contact with ex-in laws because of the kids.. She went back to him when she was in trouble. He let her. He let her leave him again for yet another man (even married) He was her friend, warned her about the guy who ended up to be an abuser. She left this guy in the end, she matured, and they now together (but he did not remarry), He is now 48, his wife 8 year younger. He married he as she was only 19.\n\n*******************************\nJust remember:\n*******************************\n\nForming a relationship with your ex is entirely separate from the process of ending a marriage; if you work through the process to achieve your "emotional divorce," you can cultivate something entirely new. Your old relationship is over; take the steps to heal so that you can invest your energy elsewhere.\n\nGood luck.\n\nps meant to say: and you get a new hobby and have fun with other people as soon you will feel better and might make new friends and will not feel lonely. The reason why we LOVe or MISS people is beuase we miss that comunication. Once you communicate with others it will be better for you. And who knows, maybe your ex -wife seeing how popular and outgoing you are might ant to herself be your friend asap.........  show her your new side that she did not see before :-)
636718
It sounds like you are better off without your family. I agree with one who suggested counseling. It is usually a good and helpful experience. Also, it is very lonely not to have a family. I always made family out of my friends. Having close friends can feel the same as being with your family.  Do you have any extended family(aunts, uncles, cousins) that would help you feel connected and loved? If you think there's any way I can help, feel free to contact me. :^)
620816
The sex online will get old pretty fast. You need to try and work on what's real.....your wife and mother of your children. Maybe she doesn't like sex because you don't approach her the right way. Begging is such turn-off...try some real passion. If you give some true effort and things still aren't working than leave! Nothing is worse for children than growing up in a loveless home.
197223
the mind is a terrible thing\n\nI have been lonely for a long time and have finally found a girl to love and marry so I am very happy but I have to deal with my children who are thinking I may be rushing it has only been two and one half years since wife died. And she wants her son to be there when we get married but he is in the service and cant come home for a long time. I guess i just have to learn patience.\n\nwell i have talked probably more than my quota\n\nGood luck and God Bless!!
400306
Hey, I've been there.  That was how  I got my wife to marry me. I didn't think I was good enough for her either,but I spoke from the heart and told her how I felt. She could have laughed at me or made fun of me in front of her friends,but instead,she was shocked at how I expressed myself.\n The next seven years were the best time of my life till the day she died and I don't regret  for one minute that I spoke up  to tell her how I felt. Yes,it is worth it. The worst she can do is say no or "get lost loser!". Take a chance.