my boyfriends son's mother trapped him by having the baby after telling her that he did'nt want anymore kids and she agreed to that but when he got ready to break up with her that's when she sprung it on him that she was pregnant.  and yes he used protection but he said she had sex with him while he was drunk and sleep. But he does take care of the baby, but his mistake was giving her cash. \nso if she ever files child support on him he can't prove that he helps out on a daily bases. Because shes the type that since he don't want her no more than thats when she will start acting stupid.
200936
Sounds like you've got your hands full. With the whole money thing. He needs to give it to her it's a law and i agree. Plus the whole had sex with him while he was sleeping.... then how did she get pregnant??? He needed to shoot it for her to get pregnant. That sounds like a lie to me.
84414
My husband in in a similar situation.  His ex we wants him to pay child support for a child that may not be his.  We are taking her to court for a DNA test.  Because you signed the birth certificate you have the right to have a DNA test.  If the mother will not cooperate go talk you prosecuting attorney for way to achieve that.
114379
It's hard to say for sure. Sounds like he wasn't ready for the added responsibility of another child within months of getting married. It takes two people to make a baby though. Obviously, if he kept giving you a different answer every time you asked him why he left, he was probably just looking for an excuse. He finally chose to believe what his friend told him since that gave him the out he was looking for. Any man who would get a woman that he was engaged to pregnant, try to force to have an abortion, then leave, isn't much of a man anyway. You're better off to find out now instead of later. I wouldn't maintain any type of close relationship with this loser, as the same thing might happen again. The only thing worse than being single with two children, is being single with three children.\n\nYou know, just because he thinks he can justify not ever talking to you anymore doesn't relieve him of responsibility for a child he helped to create. You should take him to court to get child support awarded and make him take responsibility for his child.
673099
almost the same thing happend to me. my boyfriend an i have been together for a long time. 6months through he told me that he had to tell me something...he told me about some party he went too an how he had no idea what was going on an blah blah blah, but i forgave him. i mean i figure if it was before the relationship it shouldnt matter. ofcourse trust issues an all that, but he was just scared to tell me, he figured id get "jelous" i have to admit i was a tad bit, but i love him way to much to even trip over things like that. THATS LIFE! people make mistakes.. some bad...some good...If your girlfriend learned from what had happend thats all that matters! dont put her down for it! im sure it hurts her enough already. About the Vegas thing...maybe she does have plans? maybe she is busy? not everything is abal to work out for you or anybody. im sure youve had plans of ur own when she wanted to go some where? i mean GOSH! your only 16. party. have fun! an just because she wants to go to a boys "birthday party" doesnt mean a thing! STOP being so controlling towards her...u sound more like a father than a boyfriend...an if u keep that up you might loose her.....and also about her mother....just leave that her buisness dont get to involed into things an automatically blame her for the mistakes her, her mother, her family has made. She may be a WHOLE diff. person. TRUST ME..I KNOW.\n\n-Stephanie
368056
Did he seem worried when you told him that she was pregnant? Just because he was the last one she slept with doesn't make him the father. Who else did she sleep with during that time. Only a paternity test will tell for sure.
608082
The same thing here. My man's mother more than awful. She's one of those "christains" that quotes the bible and tell you that you're going to hell, but she does every evil thing there is to do. She stole from him, forged his income tax return, lied and manipulate every situation and she told me that if I was to concieve a child, she didn't want no parts of it. I'm writing a book about my experiences with her drama. I ignored her. I stopped playing nice with her after she attack him when he was in the ER. I told her exactly what I thought of her and I ignore her. Eventually, he cut her loose. It was his decision. It's been a year now since we last heard from her. Life has been great and less stressful without her.
80963
The problem is that it's not the baby's fault if its mother lied, or its father was gullible, or whatever.  Child support rights belong to the child, and the mother in this case never had the authority to waive them or bargain them away. Support of children is pretty much an absolute duty of parents; prospective parents have to factor that in before deciding what to do or believe.
400700
I've seen people walk out of courtrooms as free people with $80,000 owed in back child support - putting them in jail does not erase the child support deficit.  These people game the system - pure and simple.  If he's in contempt, he won't pay, he does not work and sells drugs - contact the DEA or FBI and see if they can garnish his Maxima, his mother's house or anything else.  Any child support arrearage over $10,000 becomes a federal offense - not many people know that....
320373
Although I believe a child's place is with his mother, this woman doesn't deserve to have children. If I were you I would try to get full custody of the child. It is clear she will always use your son as a financial benefit for her not your son.Your son is a blessing for you, to bad for her if she can't see it. Get rid of that scumbag and devote yourself to give your child all the love that is obvious your wife can't give him.
608177
You should try to see things from the gfrends perspective as well she is carrying his child and this entails responsibility from him! Don't forget that he could've left her before she fell pregnant but chose not to! Ask him why and if he is so unhappy he still has a choice he can leave her and still support his child and be with you there will be harsh consequences to face but if he loves you the way he says he does then he'll fight all odds! Talk to him name his choices and if he still refuses to change his mind and follow the more difficult road then he is playing games with you and with his girlfriend!
517362
Tell her to immediately get on the phone and report that information to child support enforcement without delay!! Also make sure she doesn't mention that she is interested in finding out if the support cvan be garnished from it to the child's father because he may try to hide it or be more secretive. Tell her prior to calling try to find out from him who the insurance compnay is that he sued, that way when she contacts enforcement they will know what insurance agency to contact to put a garnish on it. I know it can be done, because my ex husband was hit by a car as a pedestrian and he was warded money. They took it and because he has such a history of not paying they even took out a year's worth of ADVANCE payments. Hopefully there is still some time before the insurance company pays to allow for enforcement to contact the insurance agency and to allow for them to get the petition to granish over to a judge to get signed. She needs to take advantage of this quickly before he gets that check and cashes it and it's too late for her to lay claim. If for some reason your state doesn't allow support to be garnished from a settlement, which I don't see why not, then she needs to make sure once she knows he has endorsed that check that she stays on enforcement's back of pursuing him to comply with child support...I'm sure if they don't garnish his check, once he cashes it and he has a choice of jail or paying a 5th of his check to support, he'll choose to pay.
670197
I can relate.  First off, make your boyfriend get a lawyer to defend his rights and make sure the childs rights to him are met.  That way she can't use the child against him, for her guilt purposes or manipulation.  He doesn't want to look back and have crap over his head that he should sort out now and be done with.  I think that alone will put an end to having to deal with the ex only for about the child reasons.  Then have a talk with confidence about the ex situation.  She is trying to make him miserable and if putting trouble in your relationship is a way she will use it.  Don't sound jealous or too upset, just concerned and caring about what you two have now.  Let him understand that being with him also means you are part of this equation and your feelings matter,  Then afterwards have a great (you know what I mean girl) evening with him so he doesn't forget that working things out with you ALWAYS will pay off.  GOOD LUCK!
432726
YUH! I couldn't agree with you more. She brought it upon herself. How naive can you get? She wanted kids while she was young SO bad that she married a TOTAL poser who can't open his eyes enough to even see her, 2 kids with another woman who he LEFT to be with her because she was more popular than her! He probably was seeing one of the recent most popular women, he's a sick, poser, playing freak and she's just stupid. Two kids with that guy. Oh boy.... can't wait to see how those kids turn out... and HA!!!! He's trying to get full custody for them!!! Do you HONESTLY think he'll get any custody of them?? he has no money and sold close to no CDs. She is suffering this, she made her bed, now she can lay in it. Ha ha, I'm ranting on, but COME ON! It's so true! You're awesome. You took the works right out of my mouth. ;-)
574056
Although my boyfriend is grown, I had to watch him battle with his mother when he decided to get from under her and make life a better for himself. She did everything she could to undermind him. She belittled him, spread rumors, stole from him, brought drama to our home to break us up... You name it, she did it. Eventually he had to cut her completely from his life. It's been eight months since he last seen or spoken to her. What finally did was she lied and called the police on him, trying to get him arrested. I honestly think that something is wrong with her mentally.
489781
The ethical thing would be to find out if he is the father. If he is, then pay support with no argument. If he is the father, he should take responsibility. And, you should not be helping him to disown his child no matter what the mother has done.\n\nThink about it. If he wants to get out of paying for his child, then will he do the same if you two have children and break up? I think it would be likely. The person at issue is the child. Have compassion for the child.
171193
He has a baby by another before he met you. Her and the baby move away. Now she back in your boyfriends life in a big way. I see how he is close to his child more fathers should be that way. Nothing is wrong with him spending time with his baby. On the another hand the babys mother should not use the child to take your man away from you right now. She is wrong for and her payback will come soon trust me on that. You cant use a child to keep a man from moving on with a new woman. She is the stuid one for that. All out the she just up and wants him back no damn reason. Has she come at you with something. Ask me he really needs to choose not between you and his child but you and his baby's mom. Baby mom is acting like a real bitch. If he really cares about you then he can be with you and his baby without his baby's mom popping up with all her got damn fucking drama. I got a point to what I saying and I know you can find it too. Now more that I can do for you now. From here on out step up and say what you feel to the both of them. Never give up without a fight. It will not be simple but you will make a way to go. Its a rock and a hard place for not only him but now for you as well.
114390
I am in that situation right now. I had a one night stand and got pregnant, which I was told I could never have children. The guy and I got together but we weren't in love. We made our bed so we are lieing in it. It isn't our son's fault that we didn't use protection. Besides I am happy I had my son. We feel that even though we are not happy, in order for our son to be whole with a happy life, that we are sacrificing our happiness. Divorce is really hard on the children and being raised by a single parent is sometimes difficult. All my son's friends are being raised by a single parent. Most of them come to our home to eat dinner and get dessert which they don't get at home. They hang out at our house cos their parents are out on the weekends trying to find another mate. One has gone down the wrong road, the other misses home cooked meals, the other one misses his dad doing father-son things even though there is visitation. If there isn't any abuse involved, I would say stay until they are out of high school.