I've met someone I really like, and want to get to know him better...the only problem is, most people presume he is gay, just by based on his really nice personality and general behaviour, no solid evidence. I know that there are many people who may act "gay", but are actually straight...\n\nI've only met him recently but "really" like him, an need to know... how can I find out if he is gay/ straight/ Bi without offending him? Thanks for any help
216356
hey i was made fun of at school for being gay because of my personality but im straight just ask him it wont hurt his feelings
223234
It sounds like he is really confused right now. He may need space to think things out. Alot homosexual people struggle with their feelings. It is natural for him to feel torn between his feeling and longing for a sense of normality in his life. Alot of gay males try the straght thing thinking that they can have a natural family and be accepted by society but then realise later that they are trying to change themselves. He may be going through one of those times right now. If you have seen him on the gay dating sites that is a bit different. Are you sure that those profiles are not old? some people continue to check old dating accounts just to see who responded. Ask him about them. If he gets defensive, then you may have a clue. Just give him some time to sort things out and if what you guys have is worth saving he will realize it. for now be his friend and help him find hisself. And dont listent to any negativity on here...we dont choose who we love
494689
Eh,I'm a HIM fan but I'm a girl and I'm straight so blah,\nbut seriously get out a bit!!\nI'm sure there's some goth guys who like HIM where you live,\nI know loads but only because I went out loads,\nyou really shouldn't be asking random people on the interent about it..\nxxx
548522
If a man is feminine it does not necessarily make him gay. It is dangerous and inappropriate to label people without knowing the facts. Whether he is gay or straight is his business, and not that of everyone else. The fact  that he has never dated doesn't make him gay. It sounds like everyone else needs to mind their own business and quit making assumptions about things which do not concern them. \n\nIn regards to your friends assumptions, I suspect they know little about sexuality and what brings it about. This is a question that has been plaguing scientists for a very long time. As yet there is no answer, therefore whether it is a choice or not is irrelevant. My best advice is to let him come out in his own time, that is if he is gay.
262634
Nothing, maybe he just doesn't have your personality. He keeps his thoughts to himself. Many guys are like this, it doesn't mean they are gay or bi. Hell I' am like that mosto f the time unless I drink then you can't shut me up. Don't be afraid of this friend even if he turns out to be gay or bi. Just.... be his friend. And don't worry about his sexuality he will tell you if you need to know.
254552
Listen closely, you don't want to lose a valuable friendship.\n\nGay people (or people who are confused about their sexual orientation) tend to think that ANYONE who is sweet is gay. That is NOT TRUE. I have a teacher, who seems VERY GAY. He's way tooooo sweet to seem straight, his voice even has that little tone to it.. i swear i would have finished his class believing he was truly gay. Then one day, i was out, and went to give him my excuse, and he said, "don't worry about it, I was out to, I cancelled class. My wifes aunt passed away so we had to go to her funeral in Flint." I was like, oh, you're married? and he said, "yes.. here you can see her picture" and she was a she.\n\nMORAL OF THE STORY: not everyone whos nice and seems gay is gay. People now have a adefinition of being gay.\nGay= a guy whos nice and sweet, and has a certain ring to his voice, and in most cases is hot.\nbut that is not completely true, as a matter of fact it's completely false. Society tends to give false images..\n\nBe careful. If he's gay, he's gay. If not, then he's not.\n\nWhat you can do is, confess that you're gay, or you think you might be, and tell him you don't want it to ruin your friendship.\n\nIf he's gay, he'll be comfortable enough to say he is. If not, then he'll probably get freaked out at first, but then come around to accept you for who you are.
448694
He would say, "thanks, that is very nice, but I am gay....what are we supposed to do about that? " It is very easy to develope feelings for Gay men, they are open, funny, and easy to approach. Keep your feelings in check, for you know from the start that nothing can come of it other than friendship..which is nice, but not a romantic relationship, if that is what you are looking for. Gay men cannot suddenly become straight, anymore than a straight man can become gay. Leave it at that. Good luck
444049
Hi there!\n\nWell I'm sure your friend did not "just discover he is gay" it's not like you look under this rock one day and Oh My God I just discovered this.\nIt just sounds cute the way you said it, but I'm sure he has known for quite a while because gay does not BING turn on all of a sudden.\nSo support him be his best friend more then ever right now, because it took him tremendous courage to even speak to you about it ...I would think.\nI don't know how old either one of you are but it is the same for heteros as homos we all need and all need at the different ages, so just be there for him and love him. It will all come in time, his courage will build and he will meet people just as everyone does, give it time. Maybe at school there are some support groups for gays, something like that could be helpful for him and help him feel more secure about himself plus he could meet people.
242941
I can understand why you wouldnt like this specific person, great, and its great that you dont hold that against gay people. Feeling wierded out is totally natural, am i right in suggesting that youve never really come across it before? literally, there is hardley a difference between you and me. We are both human beings, only i prefer having relationships with guys. Dont let that be what gets to you. you shouldnt judge people on who they are, based on gender, sexuality, race or class, but instead as who they are as a person. its best to get to know the person before you judge them for being gay. Just remember, that single person who did something to a family member of yours is an individual, dont judge everybody else based on their actions (it wouldnt be fair!)\n\njust get to know them before you judge them :D and its great to know that there is somebody out there who doesnt "HATE" the gay crowd!
559075
Instinct will tell you.  Gays and bisexuals reciprocate gays.  If you're one, you will welcome such attention.  If not, hopefully you can keep the friendship after this one.  If you're one of those people who are confused about their sexual orientation, you are likely to push him away.  But be kind.  Confusion can turn into fear because most of us are afraid of the unknown.  And fear can turn into disgust.  Whatever you decide, remember, he is your friend.
120075
well if the other guy you thought is gay, is not...\nthen the best thing for the gay guy to do is too either see for himself cuz the 'straight" guy may be lying, or to find someone else
235979
OK, all these people who say you are going through a phase, that's just them trying to "save" you. Every gay person I've ever talked to believes that people are born gay, which means you could probably tell at your age. Also, I've heard of people knowing that they were attracted to people of the same sex when they were even younger then you. People are coming out younger and younger now, this is due to growing acceptance, if you come from a place that does not accept gays, then i am guessing you are pretty sure. I probably don't need to tell you all this. Back to you question, do you know any other gay people? They can give you advice and understanding, also don't underestimate your close friends, and i hate to say it but you might find girls are more accepting then guys.
247329
You might feel like you're on a date, but that's just because you're straight.  He doesn't feel that way at all.  I had this one friend and I didn't think that I was leading her on or whatever and she KNEW I was gay, but she said that it was unfair of me to play with her like that and act like I was into her.  I wasn't GIVING her signals or anything though.  If he really wants you, let him come to you, you don't wanna lose a friendship just because you think you could convert him.  Things would just be WEIRD between the two of you.
517345
a closet straight?  he told you he is bi but more gay than straight.  what's the problem?  you want every person in the world to know he is bisexual in the hopes that no one will sleep with him except you...you sound very immature and jealous/obsessive.
554321
Why do you care if he is gay? Just  ask him if you really want to know.
109214
Are you gay and looking to find out if he is too, or is he your boyfriend and your not sure. I need more details to work with... But my advice is not to worry about it. Just be supportive, and if he is gay he will tell you when the time is right.
214593
Well, to begin with you have to ascertain that he is in fact gay or bi. We got a couple of ways to go: just ask him would be my best advice. Second to that...does he date anyone? Does he have friends that he regularly hangs out with that you could ask?\nIf he is gay/bi...just tell him how you feel. It is my opinion that nothing bad can happen when you tell someone how you feel. Could he reject you? Absolutely. But you haven't lost anything if he does...you're not dating him now. You will have the benefit of knowing that you tried and knowing exactly where he stands, even if its not beside you.\nAs for your girlfriend, women know that you can change your mind (It is out pergotaive :) ). Your friend probably will rib you a little and then help you implement your game plan. \nHope this helps and good luck to you!