what not to say to a parent of a child with autism?
156450
["Don't say: “Is your child an artistic or musical genius? ... ", "Don't say: “You'd never know by looking at her that she has autism! ... ", "Don't say: “God doesn't give you what you can't handle” or “Everything happens for the best.”"]
1318439
["I hear you have an illness in your family, I'll be thinking of you all. ... ", "I know we never really talk, but I wanted to let you know I'm here. ... ", "If you ever need a listening ear or want to grab a coffee, I'm around."]
514174
["Don't ask 'How are you?' ... ", "Don't just focus on their illness. ... ", "Don't make assumptions. ... ", "Don't describe them as 'dying' ... ", "Don't wait for them to ask."]
700487
['Not respond to their name (the child may appear deaf)', 'Not point at objects or things of interest, or demonstrate interest.', 'Not play “pretend” games.', 'Avoid eye contact.', 'Want to be alone.', "Have difficulty understanding, or showing understanding, or other people's feelings or their own."]
1042261
They like to cuddle and laugh. They respond positively to interaction. A child with autism does not interact in these ways. An autistic child's physical appearance is normal.
274063
['Listen First. Whenever I received The Dreaded Call, I resolved to listen first. ... ', 'Try Not to Take it Personally. ... ', 'Believe the Teacher. ... ', 'Ask Questions Calmly. ... ', 'Know Your Child. ... ', 'Find Ways to Support the Positive Behavior at Home.']
811644
['Avoid Negative Talk.', 'Show Gratitude.', "Don't Feel Obligated to Strain Your Home Relationship to Accommodate Them.", 'Deal Effectively With Advice, but Not Intrusions.', 'Overlook the Little Irritants.', 'Focus on Yourself, Not on Them.', 'Do Not Tolerate Abuse.']
1359193
You can tell her, “When you're angry, say, 'I'm angry,' and I will help you.” Educate your child about the effect of his words. You can explain that "hate" is a word that hurts people's feelings. Remind him of the times when someone used these words with him and talk about how he felt.
364023
['Make a time to talk calmly with your child about how lying makes you feel, how it affects your relationship with your child, and what it might be like if family and friends stop trusting your child.', "Always tell your child when you know that they aren't telling the truth."]
907555
Offer your sympathy, hug the person if it is appropriate, and then back away. Then let someone else have a chance to offer condolences. If the person wants to talk, listen. Sometimes it's best to not say anything but simply be there to show your support.
272409
["Talk to our kids. A lot of people, especially adults, don't directly acknowledge our kids. ... ", "Please don't act like the parents are invisible. ... ", 'Step in and help. ... ', 'Ask the “right” questions. ... ', 'Invite me for a coffee. ... ', "Don't bring religion into it, or make a comment on how amazing we are."]
352333
["Calmly name the issue but don't demand confessions. Don't ask questions about behaviour if you already know the answer. ... ", "Try to understand why your child is finding it hard to be honest. It's important to think about why your child feels they need to lie. ... ", 'Respond with clear consequences. ... ', 'Set a good example. ... ', 'Praise honesty.']
79925
It's generally best simply to express your sympathy and let them tell you how they feel. And it's much better to say, "I don't know what to say", than to say nothing at all. Don't suggest what a bereaved parent should be feeling or doing. Everyone grieves in their own way and there are no time limits.
908781
['Attend to the victim. Parents should first direct their attention to the person who has been bitten. ... ', 'Be firm and calm. Parents should respond to the behavior with a firm, “No biting!” Keep it very simple and easy to understand. ... ', 'Redirect.']
527583
Firmly state your disapproval by commenting descriptively and asserting expectations. Tell your child what you want, not what you don't want. Rather than “Cut the backchat!” say, “Jamie, I heard you being rude to me under your breath. I don't like that kind of behaviour.
490482
["Don't overreact.", 'No matter what age your child is, address it immediately and calmly. ... ', 'Nip it in the bud. ... ', 'Ask your child first whether he or she understands the word. ... ', "Don't be tempted by YouTube fame. ... ", 'Be honest. ... ', 'Find new words. ... ', 'Create consequences.']
786339
["Ask your child “What do you think?” before answering questions to get a better sense of what is really being asked and what's likely to be understood. ... ", 'Tell the truth. ... ', 'Avoid too much detail and keep answers short and simple. ... ', 'Make conversations matter-of-fact.']