Thanou missed rendezvous with destiny
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But instead of replacing Marion Jones as Olympic 100 metres gold medallist, Thanou did not even take part in the Athens Games after missing two pre-Games drugs tests.
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Queue submissions being scarce, I suggest we all submit limericks for consideration.  Mod up your favorites.    I'm no poet, so I'll submit a favorite of my childhood:    There was a young woman named Bright,  Who traveled much faster than light    She set out one day  In a relative way    And returned on the previous night.    I'm afraid I don't remember the author.
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Tycho:  We'll return to those two in a moment - for now, let's get a look at our supposed protagonists.  What are they doing?  Let's find out.  Did they make any new friends?
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Tycho:  Gears multi had just become a nightly fixture, and then - wholly without warning - it was over.  A pack of downloadable maps (already in progress?) might give us another night or two on Sera, but the reality is that the rest of Team Inferno has moved on to Rainbow Six.
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Gabe: Well we had ourping pongmatch with Sucker Punch last Friday and I must say things did not go well for us. The Sucker Punch Rockets lived up to their studio's name and left us with a big old purple shiner. Already there is talk here in the office that our glorious victory march through the game industry is now looking more like a trail of tears.
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Gabe:  We had our annual Enforcer wrap party on Monday night over at Gameworks. It's a chance for all the Enforcers to get together and relax after the show. It's also a chance for Tycho and I to thank them for all their help. We played a lot of games and heard a ton of great stories. There's so much of the show that Tycho and I miss but the Enforcers see it all and this year they saw some crazy shit.   For example I had no idea that e for all had hired guerrilla marketers to wander the streets in front of PAX with T.V's in their shirts. They were passing out glow sticks and postcards with the e for all logo on them. PAX Enforcers and attendees started a game that involved masking tape and replacing the "for all" with other things the e might stand for.   That's certainly funny but it's not the best story about other exhibitions invading PAX. At one point during the evening a table full of Enforcers told me a tale that was so awesome I just had to pass it along.Late Friday night Amber was called down to the lobby of the convention center to deal with a drunk and belligerent member of the media who was apparently yelling at a couple of our Enforcers. Amber arrived to find the man obviously hammered and harassing our security. She approached him and explained that the show was over (which it wasn't) and that he should just go home and sleep. Upon seeing Amber his behavior changed quite drastically. He stopped arguing with the Enforcers and instead stared hitting on her. He bragged that he'd been out all night drinking with Incubus. Then he suggested the two of them go see a movie, get some drinks and "see where it goes." I think we all know where it goes. Sloppy drunks twice her age really aren't Amber's type so she politely declined the offer while still trying to move him towards the door. He leaned in at this point and said "this Penny Arcade shit is weak!" and then asked her if she wanted to know a secret. He said it would "impress her" and with that he produced his business card.  He pointed at it and slurred "this is where it's at baby."Now we'd seen this guy all weekend taking photos of our game rooms and exhibition hall. Since he was pretending to be media he also interviewed all our Enforcers about how the show was organized and managed. A few of our Exhibitors even complained that he was in the exhibition hall trying to sell them on his convention. Amber took the card and asked him to find her the next day after he had sobered up. She had every right to pull his badge right then but was a little worried about how he might react. The next morning she happened to meet up with him on the escalators in the main hall. "Hey I remember you" he said, "but I don't remember your name." "I'm Amber the event coordinator for PAX and I need you to give me your badge." she replied.He looked around at the group of colleagues around him and laughed. I guess he thought she was joking. Security arrived and she pressed him again for his badge. He tried to apologize for hitting on her but she informed him that while that was certainly inappropriate it was the drunken tirade that we didn't appreciate at PAX. He reluctantly handed over his badge and was escorted out by a group of Enforcers. I was told this story by a dozen or so other Enforcers who witnessed or took part in the event. When they gave me Ed's business card as physical proof of their encounter I couldn't believe it. I was already laughing when I turned the card over and noticed the back.   -Gabe out
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U.N. Secretary-General Flunks First Test Ban Ki-moon passed a crucial test in Paris last month, a French-only lunch with President Jacques Chirac.Comment
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Tycho:  It is often the case that we are jumped by four or five horde ten levels higher than us.  This is often because we've jumped a friend of theirs, ten levels lower than us, as retribution for some earlier act of aggression, in slavish iteration of a behavior that has - as its culmination - the end of all life, everywhere.  Kara marveled that Gabriel and I were able to escape these confrontations with such regularity.  What was our secret?  "Fear," I said, bending the microphone closer.  "Fear, and selfishness."
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Tycho: The whole reason I wrote that other post was to link the new article about it at 1up, and I didn't even manage to do that - here you go. In a way, I'm glad I didn't link it before - in the intervening period, a new episode of the 1up show has dropped that has a ton of interview and video material for every part of Episode 2 - including TF2 and Portal. It's the top video on this page. Unbelievably delicious.(CW)TB
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Tycho:  I've tried to make the most of the Playstation 3 now that it's set up, and hearing that Tekken 5 would see release on the service yesterday made us dig deeper into their virtual storefront. This has got to be one of the most careful, convoluted purchase experiences ever engineered.  The comic presents it as a conversation, which I suppose each transaction is, at some level - but this is actually how it goes down.
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If you thought Malaika Arora Khan has vanished from the silver
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Gabe: I just have some random stuff to share here.Pokemon League night is next Tuesday at the Comic Stop. Matches start at six pm, but you can show up a little early if you'd like to trade cards. As always new players are welcome, just bring a starter deck. It's also a good idea to register at Go-Pokemon.com and bring your POP ID. A reader wrote in today to tell me that he was doing the New York Times crossword puzzle for January 30th and noticed this clue for 12 down:  "Tycho's pal in the webcomic 'Penny Arcade' (4 letters)." That's totally awesome. I'm sure the Force Unleashed will be fine. The time period around the original trilogy is just getting so crowded. Now Vader has a secret apprentice? I mean, it makes sense canonically to me. The Emperor had Mara Jade out there doing his dirty work. It's not unreasonable to think Vader had a similar arrangement. Also the very nature of Sith rule makes covering your ass a necessity. The hook for the game is fine and I don't mind the 3rd person action stuff. There are a few games I'd much rather see them make though. The fact that they have not made a sequel to Republic Commando is fucking criminal. That's not a joke either. I mean that someone over there should be put in jail for the rest of their life. RepCom was an incredible squad based shooter, and unlike most games in that genre it was packed with awesome characters. This games deserves a next gen sequel. The other game that needs a next gen installment is Tie Fighter. Seriously that game came out in 1994 and it's one of the best space shooters ever. And for fucks sake stop setting things during the movies. There's nearly sixty years worth of incredible content (minus the dark nest series) extending out past Return of the Jedi. You don't have to keep trying to cram stories into the same 20 year period. They're milking so much content out of that period that eventually we'll be playing a game as Luke where the goal is to repair vaporators on the south ridge. Hurry up you've only got 'till mid day!Rez is available on Xbox Live now. It's one of the best games ever made.   The most popular piece of clothing we've ever made, AKA The Black Mantle is back in stock. It's joined by its polar opposite, the Luminous Vestments. I have a feeling both will be sold out before I finish typing this.   -Gabe out
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Tycho:  With a couple days placed between this post and the release of the Bioshock demo, I feel far more comfortable discussing it.  You know what I do, now:  for example, you know that the Playable Intro as a storytelling mechanism has been refined to a ridiculous degree.  You've felt the jolt of voyeurism, peering into human lives via found audio.  And, perhaps most importantly, you know the dangers that plasmids pose to the young.
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I saw it when I popped the lid of the supers - I couldn't have missed it, being nearly the size of my palm.  A common orb spider, hiding in these old unused honey supers.  It and about eighty more of its kind have built webs all around my equipment.  I spent the most of a week fighting them.  Now I see that there are some important lessons to be learned.
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Tycho: There were some truly unconscionable spelling issues with the 1.0 version of that last post. I think I got them all. But I am afraid to look.(CW)TB
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Asteroid mission gone 'til September Brief Dawn, NASA's mission to the asteroids, has been postponed again - this time until September. Mission managers had hoped to launch on Monday, but the final decision to delay was taken on Saturday.â¦
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Tycho:  Rhythm games aren't my forte, but I have a lot of inbuilt experience with meter which helps me fake it until I can build genuine skill.  And, as rhythm elements have crept into the entire medium, Tycho stock has been in a boom phase.  It's understandable, then, that while I soar and illuminate - and Gabriel sputters, bound to earth - tensions related to my prowess have begun to burn red-hot.  That is, until they cool again.  These things have a way of working themselves out in the fullness of time.          There's an incredible article over at Wired this month (and possibly also in the magazine?) about the Bungie's psychological approach to game design.  What a tremendous challenge it must be to retain authorial control in such a case!  As someone whose output is rarely screened by any agency, the whole thing gave me chills.  The right to fail nobly in a creative endeavor (as we sometimes do) is such a powerful luxury.  No such luxury may be extended to them, upon whose toil an entire platform rests.  God keep me from such a fate.          I keep hearing that Metroid Prime 3: Corruption isn't being promoted very well, but the person saying this always seems to know about it, and then when people share this complaint in the thread those people also seem to be "in the know."  It ships on the twenty-seventh of August, if you weren't aware - but since you almost certainly are, we needn't dwell on it.  What we should be dwelling on are the series of teaser vids that Retro has been trickling out.  Metroid's largely mysterious heroine has always been a huge draw for me, and going into deep detail about the character would actually damage the mystique.  But the universe she operates in need not be vague, which is why these clips are such a rich meal:  there's the Aurora Unit trailer that modernizes ancient Metroid canon in a classy way, and there's a treat at the end of the Valhalla trailer that ties it all together.  They both cover a setting that has gotten darker and more sophisticated, tones we don't typically associate with Nintendo.       We like to get kicks in on the post-Harmonix Guitar Hero, partly based on their "wacky" multiplayer concept - which ordinary gamers will probably love - but also out of a sort of tribal loyalty.  This having been established, they've built an authentically heroic tracklist that really has a lot of beef.  Going from the most recent Rock Band announcement out of Leipzig, both versions appear to have Radiohead's "Creep" and the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage," which is something of a comfort.  After seeing different songs on each game from Metallica and The Rolling Stones, I wasn't sure if they were already traveling down the catalogues securing exclusive weaponry.  I hope that the labels in this case see the old wisdom of arming both sides.