Return of the Rotund Guy (No, Not Santa)
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The screen version of the animated television series "Fat Albert" opens with a glint of promise. From there, the movie, alas, just lies down and dies.
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Shrink-wrapped catch-22 YouTubers have Christopher "Jedi" Knight. And eBayers have Tim "Happy Hour" Vernor.â¦
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The e-tailer has another big holiday season.
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Gabe: So the big news today, in the world of web comics at least is that PvP is getting itself animated. Scott posted the news along with a little teaser over on his site. He"s actually writing the entire thing with the help of Kris Straub. I was a big fan of the old Blamimations they did together and I"ve told them both whenever possible that they needed to collaborate more. I make jokes when I"m uncomfortable and it just so happens I have issues with anxiety so I"m essentially uncomfortable all day. That means I spend a lot of my time making jokes. When Scott and Kris were up here visiting I hardly said a word. They"re just too funny and they"re always on. You just can"t compete with them, all you can do is laugh.
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What good is a Bond flick without far-fetched gizmos? Here are some ideas to get the franchise back on the right track. Commentary by Lore Sj&#246;berg.
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Tyler Martin is updating his comic strip Wally and Osborne again. It&#8217;s been on hiatus for a while as Tyler adjusted his schedule to fit in having a baby and moving his family up to the mountains. Both are noble endeavors and worthy of trumping webcomics work. But Tyler is back and at the drawing [...]
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Richard Hill scores a try on his return from a 16-month injury absence.
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Tycho:  I'm super depressed.  I thought I had invented a new word - mirthquake - and then I was going to say that you should prepare yourselves for the aforementioned, as today's comic strip was rated this or that number on the rictus scale.  I mean seriously, I've been excited all weekend.  A simple Google search put me in my place - the word is practically ubiquitous.  Expect it soon on Urban Dictionary, that mausoleum of once vibrant language.
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Gabe: The Penny Arcade store has been updated with some new items. First we've got a brand new zip up hoodie.    It's got a slick PA logo on the front and Tycho's speech from the comic strip "I Hope You Like Text" on the back. We've been getting requests for a zip up like this for a long time. I don't want to sound like a used car salesman but my guess is that these will not last long.     We've also added a new sticker pack. This pack includes Tycho, Gabe, Annarchy, Charles, The Merch, The Fleshreaper, The Fruit Fucker and two bumper stickers.  The sticker pack is $10 but we've got a special deal going right now. If you spend $50 in the store we'll toss in the sticker pack for free.    Also, don't forget that you can now purchase prints of just about all our comic strips. If you're looking for strips with specific characters or games, Pennypacker is a great way to search our archives. I've had a few people ask me what my favorites are or which ones I think would make for especially nice prints. Tycho and I are each working on a list of our favorites but off the top of my head I'd say "The Hawk And The Hare" series would look pretty classy all framed up and hung on someone's wall.     -Gabe out
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Tycho:  With PAX coming up this weekend (!!!), we didn't really have time on Friday to invest in Virgil's Wikiscanner - that mystical oracle that takes a raw IP range and then excretes a list of that organization's Wikipedia edits.  This is the pulsing, possibly Martian device that dished up last week's awesome Electronic Arts edits.    I wasn't sure if we should feel sorry for them or not - now that EA is situated in the number two slot, does that make them the scrappy underdog? - but I quickly realized it probably doesn't matter.  They can come right out and say "Yes, we edit it all the time," mischaracterize the nature of the edits, and by the time it's on the second page the events in question never happened.  People don't remember anything these days that isn't on the first page of their feed aggregators. In any case, the entire affair is talking place  on Wikipedia.  Kudzu will grow over the propaganda soon enough.    Though time was indeed in short supply, we did fritter some portion of it pawing through ancient email headers, scraping for filth on old enemies.  Or enemies with whom we have resumed talks.  Or enemies who are now friends!  Even people I hope to make enemies in the future by my careless commentary must fall beneath the scanner's baleful eye.    Like a chugging trawler, we hauled up net after net of treasure onto the deck, sifting it on hands and knees.  I'd never expose it, of course - sparking a desperate arms race to find self-serving commentary is a conflict I'm likely to lose.  And with the deep catalogue of nemeses we've inspired worldwide (and even below the world, in the warrens of the pale Gambrya, where hate is eternal) it's not what I'd call a fabulous scenario.  For us, at least; no doubt, our foes have already begun their malevolent harvest.
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The Sporting News - If I'm Santa Claus, here are some questions I'd be pondering while also wondering whatever happened to that new, high-tech ball of last year:
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Good news for fans of Scott Turow's "Presumed Innocent": Rusty Sabich is back on the job
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Since the K5 Emperor of Icecream, eavier, foisted the augean task of ghetto-reviewing onto my skinny shoulders this year, here goes. First, we begin with the grimy w/hole itself, and then move to the individual rotting parts thereof. The obvious changes to the ghetto landscape were: trhurler didn't come back from his hike, MichaelCrawford started giving it away, my kuron brethren were badly trolled by a xanax-popping dysfunctional alcoholic), both Egil and insomnyuk decided to suicidomize themselfs, NIWS/Spellcheckbot attacked (again), and rusty took apart his bathroom and added walls to K5.   Rotting parts inside:
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Tycho:  Positive Sony news here, at Penny Arcade?  I know, right?  We shall redouble our efforts.  The story all this was based on has been changed to say that none of it is true, or that very little of it is true (depending on who you ask), but if you're asking me I think the original story hit pretty close to the mark.  The alternative - which is to say, that xFire technology would be used for a single game and no others - suggests that their service will be another briar patch of vendor "interpretations" of an online community, which can't possibly be true.  I refuse to believe that, in this generation, they would leave something like this to chance.
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Gabe:  We had our annual Enforcer wrap party on Monday night over at Gameworks. It's a chance for all the Enforcers to get together and relax after the show. It's also a chance for Tycho and I to thank them for all their help. We played a lot of games and heard a ton of great stories. There's so much of the show that Tycho and I miss but the Enforcers see it all and this year they saw some crazy shit.   For example I had no idea that e for all had hired guerrilla marketers to wander the streets in front of PAX with T.V's in their shirts. They were passing out glow sticks and postcards with the e for all logo on them. PAX Enforcers and attendees started a game that involved masking tape and replacing the "for all" with other things the e might stand for.   That's certainly funny but it's not the best story about other exhibitions invading PAX. At one point during the evening a table full of Enforcers told me a tale that was so awesome I just had to pass it along.Late Friday night Amber was called down to the lobby of the convention center to deal with a drunk and belligerent member of the media who was apparently yelling at a couple of our Enforcers. Amber arrived to find the man obviously hammered and harassing our security. She approached him and explained that the show was over (which it wasn't) and that he should just go home and sleep. Upon seeing Amber his behavior changed quite drastically. He stopped arguing with the Enforcers and instead stared hitting on her. He bragged that he'd been out all night drinking with Incubus. Then he suggested the two of them go see a movie, get some drinks and "see where it goes." I think we all know where it goes. Sloppy drunks twice her age really aren't Amber's type so she politely declined the offer while still trying to move him towards the door. He leaned in at this point and said "this Penny Arcade shit is weak!" and then asked her if she wanted to know a secret. He said it would "impress her" and with that he produced his business card.  He pointed at it and slurred "this is where it's at baby."Now we'd seen this guy all weekend taking photos of our game rooms and exhibition hall. Since he was pretending to be media he also interviewed all our Enforcers about how the show was organized and managed. A few of our Exhibitors even complained that he was in the exhibition hall trying to sell them on his convention. Amber took the card and asked him to find her the next day after he had sobered up. She had every right to pull his badge right then but was a little worried about how he might react. The next morning she happened to meet up with him on the escalators in the main hall. "Hey I remember you" he said, "but I don't remember your name." "I'm Amber the event coordinator for PAX and I need you to give me your badge." she replied.He looked around at the group of colleagues around him and laughed. I guess he thought she was joking. Security arrived and she pressed him again for his badge. He tried to apologize for hitting on her but she informed him that while that was certainly inappropriate it was the drunken tirade that we didn't appreciate at PAX. He reluctantly handed over his badge and was escorted out by a group of Enforcers. I was told this story by a dozen or so other Enforcers who witnessed or took part in the event. When they gave me Ed's business card as physical proof of their encounter I couldn't believe it. I was already laughing when I turned the card over and noticed the back.   -Gabe out
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Classic cartoons like the Road Runner and Bugs Bunny are extinct. No really, take a look at the bones of these once-great specimens of anvil and rocket comedy. By Daniel Dumas from Wired magazine.
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Okay, so what if Santa's a fat slob? Just because he has earned the right doesn't mean we have. As you work through your shopping list, here are a few ideas to keep friends and loved ones off the couch as we head into the new year, whether they are techno-geeks or old school. Enjoy the season, go...