The Compleat Gentleman - MMM's Guide to Bitches, Buddies and Booze
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This article is not about what George Carlin called the pussification of the (American) male. This article is not about ever-lowering testosterone levels in men. This article is not about over-diagnosing of ADHD in adolescent males, the over-use of Ritalin to emasculate young men, not about the game of tag being banned on schoolyards in fear of liability or how TV, ads and movies lack positive, realistic male role models. And most importantly, this article is not about equality of the sexes. This article is about how you can take charge of your own life. How you should take charge as the red-blooded, testosterone-filled, muscle-bound aggressive man you are. Now, don't get me wrong: there is still hope for you even if you are a girly-man who has words such as "sensitive" or "communication" in your everyday vocabulary, even if you are a pencil-neck who can't bench-press your own bodyweight or if you are a timid fuck who'd rather take Jill out to watch the latest chickflick than open her eyes and orifices to the wonderful world of anal sex. This article is for all of us and will guide you to a better life.
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Tycho:  With PAX coming up this weekend (!!!), we didn't really have time on Friday to invest in Virgil's Wikiscanner - that mystical oracle that takes a raw IP range and then excretes a list of that organization's Wikipedia edits.  This is the pulsing, possibly Martian device that dished up last week's awesome Electronic Arts edits.    I wasn't sure if we should feel sorry for them or not - now that EA is situated in the number two slot, does that make them the scrappy underdog? - but I quickly realized it probably doesn't matter.  They can come right out and say "Yes, we edit it all the time," mischaracterize the nature of the edits, and by the time it's on the second page the events in question never happened.  People don't remember anything these days that isn't on the first page of their feed aggregators. In any case, the entire affair is talking place  on Wikipedia.  Kudzu will grow over the propaganda soon enough.    Though time was indeed in short supply, we did fritter some portion of it pawing through ancient email headers, scraping for filth on old enemies.  Or enemies with whom we have resumed talks.  Or enemies who are now friends!  Even people I hope to make enemies in the future by my careless commentary must fall beneath the scanner's baleful eye.    Like a chugging trawler, we hauled up net after net of treasure onto the deck, sifting it on hands and knees.  I'd never expose it, of course - sparking a desperate arms race to find self-serving commentary is a conflict I'm likely to lose.  And with the deep catalogue of nemeses we've inspired worldwide (and even below the world, in the warrens of the pale Gambrya, where hate is eternal) it's not what I'd call a fabulous scenario.  For us, at least; no doubt, our foes have already begun their malevolent harvest.
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Dating, negotiating, fragging and making money.  Play and its consequences.
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Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas serves up a little something for everyone, unless you're against mayhem and dark humor. By Lore SjÃ¶berg.
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Come clean: Ever splurge on luxury goods just to one-up envious friends and neighbors? There's no shame admitting it; we're all human, after all. And surely you must take some pleasure from what folks might be whispering behind your back. "Wow, that son-of-a-gun must be doing really well. Did you see the gorgeous wristwatch he was wearing? Or the snazzy new sports car he was driving?"
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Updated Two pints of lager and the latest White Stripes single, please
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He had some Wheaties this morning for sure. My advice... 1. Remember to have fun. 2. We're all bozos on this bus. 3. We're all barking farting chihuahuas. 4. I make shitty software and so do you. 5. It's even worse than it appears. 6. You never learn anything hanging with the same people. 7. Thank heaven for little girls. (A repeat of #6.) 8. It's later than you think. 9. It's not like anyone gets out of this alive.
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Tycho: The whole reason I wrote that other post was to link the new article about it at 1up, and I didn't even manage to do that - here you go. In a way, I'm glad I didn't link it before - in the intervening period, a new episode of the 1up show has dropped that has a ton of interview and video material for every part of Episode 2 - including TF2 and Portal. It's the top video on this page. Unbelievably delicious.(CW)TB
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I've wondered for a while whats the LOOOOOOOOOOONGEST Starbucks order possible. There are a lot of modifiers  out there and if I could just string them together I could really confuse my local Barrista.  I know... I'm obnoxious...  Here's what I came up with:  Double Ristretto Venti Nonfat Organic Chocolate Brownie Frappuccino Extra Hot with Foam and Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended
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How to uncover your own Hidden Gems.
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Also: I, robot bartender. Read these stories and more from around the Web on News.com Extra.
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Ever since Autre began offering his two cents on fashion, people here and beyond have wanted to know one thing: Who is this guy? He posts in volumes on a range of subjects that are, somehow, related to fashion. He has influenced the opinion and debate on this blog. At least one other blog has [...].
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Also: DJ alert: Crack for music techies. See what people are saying on News.com Extra.
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Hold the roast beef, pass the cocktail wieners on toothpicks. Eat off paper plates (napkins are even better), and don't dare sit down.
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Tycho:  Having played collectible card games since the original printing of Magic - taking my dishwasher's tips across the street to Dragon Tails to secure boosters for the coveted Arabian Nights - seeing Gabriel take up the pastime has warmed (but not thawed) my black heart.  It's always a portion of myself I've bridled in his presence, kept hidden, suppressed may be the word.  To have him take it up so freely makes me wonder which perversion of mine he'll take up next.    When he started talking about his "Firestarter" deck, whose dancing fires were stoked by a mysterious device known as "The Holon Engine," I began to worry.  The dangers of Netdecking are fairly substantial when it comes to friendly play, a corrosive force that turns friendly pick-up games into ostentatious displays of wealth on par with rap videos.  If you're playing in a competitive venue, building on prior art and making loads of precision purchases is probably your only recourse.  But if you're just playing at lunch, let me be clear:  you are consorting with devils.    I took time over the weekend to hit the level cap in Call of Duty 4, and then just to be sure that I understood what was going on I played for several more hours.  I'm not the most skilled player you will encounter, with a roughly equal number of kills and deaths, but I prefer to think of my work in an assassinative context - the removal of key players at key moments.  Please let me have this.  In the absence of the game's deeply integrated progression scheme, Infinity Ward would merely have created one of the best shooters available today.  It would have staunch proponents, and they would be right to praise it.  Is there a substance within cream that can rise to the top of itself?  This substance has been discovered.  As a distillation of the Infantry FPS, this is right down to it.  This is brutal, unrepentant, bathtub fucking hooch.  It is tight and smooth, it is lethal.  Unrelenting in its intensity, your first rounds - indeed, your first few levels - will be spent without the succor of CoD4's rich rewards for continued play.  But you'll see them on the killcam, every time you go down:  this one has increased health, of course that would help.  This one does more damage.  This one, after he's killed, pulls his sidearm and takes a few final shots.  This one's shots retain more of their damage after they pass through a wall.        You earn these for leveling up, with the experience you gain for every kill, for every round.  You also earn experience for Challenges, which are (collectively) "awesome things that you did."  I completed X-Ray challenges last night for killing people behind walls, which dished up bonus XP - this is displayed with exultant audio and video cues at the very moment of success.  Killing while crouched, killing while prone, taking down an enemy helicopter, this is all gravy.  There are challenges specific to your weapon, as well:  for kills and headshots with that firearm, you travel down an upgrade path unique to that weapon that reveals sights, camouflage patterns, and other tools to customize your equipment.    Watching videos of multiplayer play online, you'll get the impression that it looks better than it does.  It looks fantastic, don't get me wrong, but it's not completely photorealistic.  What it does have is an extremely reliable framerate and excellent level design, so that during the experience of play these fantastic visuals are transmuted into something sublime.  Here's what I mean:  if a friend is over, and they are watching you play, they'll be able to detect flaws here and there.  Level geometry isn't especially fanciful, and blown paper or leaves look a little strange.  But for the player, movement is just right, player models are just right, and the environments are right so that moment to moment everything gels.      As I said on Friday, to bring this thing into the house of Halo is pretty ballsy - but it'll carve out its proper due.  On the Playstation 3, what force could stand against it?  I have a high opinion of Haze, but I've never played it - that's based mostly on my gut.  Call of Duty 4 will fall hard on that system, like shrieking artillery.
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The Obama Express. My latest piece on Huffington.  If you like it, please feel free to pass it on.  "cheesecake"
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Great writeup from Tim Bray WRT Dynamic Java  ...  Here's the funny part.  Whats up with all the damn coffee in these pictures?  One can only come to the conclusion that caffeine makes you smart as hell!  caption: Coffee  caption: Coffee and Java  caption: Java and Coffee