united-states
Husband and his parents causing problems for a family member. Options?
<p>Before I go see a lawyer regarding this I want to know what her options are. This is regarding a family member of mine. Her husband (and his parents) start arguments over small things. All 3 of them gang up on her accuse her doing things that she's not doing. They are basically mentally torturing her. Also they keep track of her (everything that she does), and this prevents her from getting any help. I know all this because she pulled me aside at a large family event and told me all this. They all live together in one house and my family member has 2 children.</p>

<p>They keep track of all phone calls from the cell phone and home phone. The parents don't work so they are always home. They don't like her talking to anyone, and so she's trying to respect their wishes and doesn't call anyone in the family, and she has no friends. Because of their over-controlling nature she doesn't work.</p>

<p>This has been going on for over a year or two. What legal recourse does she have? Is what they are doing to her a criminal offense? As far as I know the husband hasn't hit her, so it's can't be a domestic violence case. But can mental torture count as something? And even though she is respecting their wishes of not talking to anyone, can that count as being held against her wishes?</p>

<p>She wants to make it work because our families are very traditional and divorce is considered very taboo. I don't think at this point she will ask for a divorce, so I'm wondering what other options are there. I told her to call the police the next time they do it and file a complaint. But how far can that go? I know very little about law, but I'm aware laws can vary by state, but for now I want to leave that out.</p>

<p>Thanks</p>

<p><strong>This is <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence" rel="nofollow">Domestic Violence</a></strong>: if often but not always includes "all acts of physical, sexual, <em>psychological or economic violence</em>."</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>What legal recourse does she have?</p>
</blockquote>

<p>She can report it to the police, in many states in the US the police are obliged to make an arrest and start an investigation. If she does this the process is <em>entirely</em> out of her hands. The police will decide if sufficient evidence exists to bring charges and your relative will be obliged to testify on penalty of perjury.</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>Is what they are doing to her a criminal offense?</p>
</blockquote>

<p>It is probably a crime in the state your relative lives in.</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>As far as I know the husband hasn't hit her, so it's can't be a domestic violence case. But can mental torture count as something?</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Violence does not mean physical violence: psychological or economic violence <strong>is</strong> domestic violence.</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>And even though she is respecting their wishes of not talking to anyone, can that count as being held against her wishes?</p>
</blockquote>

<p>This is a matter of degree: doing something you don't want to do is not necessarily coercion. To be coerced you must accede to the request due to force or threats: the threats can be implicit.</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>But how far can that go?</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Jail, AVOs, probation etc. see above.</p>

<p><strong>Think very carefully before involving the law.</strong></p>

<p>Options:</p>

<ol>
<li>Divorce</li>
<li>Informal separation (cooling off period)</li>
<li>Legal separation</li>
<li><p>Family counseling (joint)</p>

<p>a. secular based</p>

<p>b. religious based</p></li>
<li><p>Individual counseling (independent)</p>

<p>a. secular based</p>

<p>b. religious based</p></li>
<li><p>Domestic violence hotline</p></li>
</ol>
