

"How dare you!" she cried, amazed, changing colour. "You're insulting
me!"

"Yes, Baroness, I am insulting you."

All was over between us, for ever.

As soon as her husband returned she hastened towards him, as if
she were seeking protection from an enemy. The Baron noticed that
something was wrong, but he could not understand her excitement.

I left them at the landing-stage, pretending that I had to pay a visit
at one of the neighbouring villas.

I don't know how I got back to town. My legs seemed to carry a lifeless
body; the vital node was cut, I was a corpse walking along the streets.

Alone! I was alone again, without friends, without a family, without
anything to worship. It was impossible for me to recreate God. The
statue of the Madonna had fallen down; woman had shown herself behind
the beautiful image, woman, treacherous, faithless, with sharp claws!
When she attempted to make me her confidant, she was taking the first
step towards breaking her marriage vows; at that moment the hatred of
her sex was born in me. She had insulted the man and the sex in me, and
I took the part of her husband against her. Not that I flattered myself
with being a virtuous man, but in love man is never a thief, he only
takes what is given to him. It is woman who steals and sells herself.
The only time when she gives unselfishly is when she betrays her
husband. The prostitute sells herself, the young wife sells herself;
the faithless wife only gives to her lover that which she has stolen
from her husband.

But I had not desired this woman in any other way than as a friend.
Protected from me by her child, I had always seen her invested with the
insignia of motherhood. Always seeing her at the side of her husband, I
had never felt the slightest temptation to indulge in pleasures which
are gross in themselves, and ennobled only by entire and exclusive
possession.

I returned to my room annihilated, completely crushed, more lonely than
ever, for I had dropped my Bohemian friends from the very outset of my
relations with the Bar